Buffy the Vampire Slayer s08e01 Episode Script
The Long Way Home
The thing about changing the world THE LONG WAY HOME Part 1/4 Once you do it The world's all different.
Everybody calls me Ma'am these days.
There used to be one slayer in all the world.
Eighteen hundred now, that we've counted.
Almost five hundred working with us, In ten separate squads.
Nice.
- Field's vaped and we're on the roof.
- Access should be right in front of you.
Leah.
Open her up.
- Can't see a thing ma'am.
- Can smell a thing now.
It's not all that different, though.
Still got my demons.
And I still got my watcher.
Satellite has them clustered by the altar and our psychics read them as unaware Mister Harris, we've got a development with the Barcelona squad.
Vamp nest looks a lot bigger than they though.
Donna's running them, but they're pretty green.
Andrew's still working southern Italy.
Tell him to pick his ten best, hop over.
Tell him to pick his ten best, hop over.
-Roger that.
- Tell him then best, not then best dressed.
- We don't want another orvieto.
- Yes, Mister Harris.
- Xander.
Renee, I told you, it's Xanderor or sergeant Fury.
Okay, Buf.
Game on.
Their first victims.
Gotta get 'em past it.
Flank 'em.
Now.
THIS ONE LOOKS TASTY.
Thanks, I work out.
SAD LITTLE GIRL LOST THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.
That went well.
STUPID HUMAN, I AM NO VAMPIRE.
YOU THINK I FEAR THE CROSS? Might wanna start.
That were a wee bit repulsive.
Went okay.
'Cept I feel a little weird about using a crucifix to kill someone.
Uhhh, Ma'am? What is that? On his chest.
Zoom in.
Xander, send this to records.
Copy Giles on it.
What are you thinking? Self-inflicted.
I don't think these are random victims.
I think these boys were looking for a fight.
I think the forcefield was ther's, too.
This is all bad math.
That symbol is gonna clear it up That's gonna tell us what those guys are part of.
-An army.
Our intel says they're too loosely affiliated.
- I mean, they're scattered in those - Squads, right.
Terrorists call 'em cells.
We go ahead with this, we gotta be together on exactly what we're facing.
And that's an army.
They got power, they got resources, and they got a hard-line ideology.
That does not jibe with american interests.
Worst of all, they got a leader.
Charismatic, uncompromising, and completely destructive.
I mean, for the love of god Look what she did to her hometown.
We have you at sixty feet under.
You must be picking up some traces.
That'd a negative, sir.
Unless you count the willies It's, uh like a museum down here.
Uh, but no bodies, no mystical readings.
I'm .
.
uh, allone down here.
So, what's it all mean? Nothing from the experts.
but I've been studying it a while.
And? I think it's a frown turned upside down.
And turned upside down again.
So you think it's a frown.
A guy with a monocle frowning.
You're a terrible watcher.
Don't call me a watcher.
I think it's a beautyful sunset.
Seriously? - She's just gonna whine.
- She is, uh, got a lot to whine about.
You could be her sister.
Xander' so stupid when he's right.
But all Dawn does lately is talk about her problems which admittedly, have gotten bigger.
- Thought I'd come and see you.
- 'Cause Xander made you.
Why will you talk to Willow not to me? Willow understands.
You know, I can get you some apprentice witches.
She told me a lot, especially when you were dead.
Uh,.
.
you were dating a thricewise? Kenny never said he was a thricewise.
I said he was a thricewise.
Everyone said he was a thricewise.
It's fricking freezing Why do we have to be in Scotland? You don't have to be in Scotland.
You have to be at Berkeley.
Believe me, as soon as I'm person-sized, I'm out of here.
You should get out, run around on the moore.
I could swat you like a flea.
Your butt looks big in those giant pants.
I got things to do.
Face it.
Dawn and I haven't really gotten along since since we changed the world.
I miss my home.
I miss my mom.
I miss the gang and churros and sex.
Great muppety odin, I miss that sex.
Ooh! I knew Dawn had sex with that Kenny and won't say anything to me but she'll tell Willow.
Suck it up, Summers.
You're a big girl now.
Lord.
How is that thing alive? Well, magic, obviously.
Lets take a look at our other subject.
We believe she was keeping the nasty guy you just saw alive after the decimation.
But I I mean, what did they eat? Whoever else was trapped in there.
Insane.
Once our man undergrund got over his girly screaming fit.
He told us her first words.
"I'm gonna help you kill her.
" Who compromised our intel All magic, general You still have to learn the rules.
That's sort of what I meant.
You think she can help us? What does she want? Access to all our magical hardware A weapons lab for the other subject, her boyfriend.
- You can't mean - Also release and full immunity, if they succeed in taking down Buffy Summers.
And, well .
She wants a lot of cheese.
Cheese Of course.
We got a name on this nutjob? Amy.
Her name is Amy.
VO by katruscha
Everybody calls me Ma'am these days.
There used to be one slayer in all the world.
Eighteen hundred now, that we've counted.
Almost five hundred working with us, In ten separate squads.
Nice.
- Field's vaped and we're on the roof.
- Access should be right in front of you.
Leah.
Open her up.
- Can't see a thing ma'am.
- Can smell a thing now.
It's not all that different, though.
Still got my demons.
And I still got my watcher.
Satellite has them clustered by the altar and our psychics read them as unaware Mister Harris, we've got a development with the Barcelona squad.
Vamp nest looks a lot bigger than they though.
Donna's running them, but they're pretty green.
Andrew's still working southern Italy.
Tell him to pick his ten best, hop over.
Tell him to pick his ten best, hop over.
-Roger that.
- Tell him then best, not then best dressed.
- We don't want another orvieto.
- Yes, Mister Harris.
- Xander.
Renee, I told you, it's Xanderor or sergeant Fury.
Okay, Buf.
Game on.
Their first victims.
Gotta get 'em past it.
Flank 'em.
Now.
THIS ONE LOOKS TASTY.
Thanks, I work out.
SAD LITTLE GIRL LOST THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.
That went well.
STUPID HUMAN, I AM NO VAMPIRE.
YOU THINK I FEAR THE CROSS? Might wanna start.
That were a wee bit repulsive.
Went okay.
'Cept I feel a little weird about using a crucifix to kill someone.
Uhhh, Ma'am? What is that? On his chest.
Zoom in.
Xander, send this to records.
Copy Giles on it.
What are you thinking? Self-inflicted.
I don't think these are random victims.
I think these boys were looking for a fight.
I think the forcefield was ther's, too.
This is all bad math.
That symbol is gonna clear it up That's gonna tell us what those guys are part of.
-An army.
Our intel says they're too loosely affiliated.
- I mean, they're scattered in those - Squads, right.
Terrorists call 'em cells.
We go ahead with this, we gotta be together on exactly what we're facing.
And that's an army.
They got power, they got resources, and they got a hard-line ideology.
That does not jibe with american interests.
Worst of all, they got a leader.
Charismatic, uncompromising, and completely destructive.
I mean, for the love of god Look what she did to her hometown.
We have you at sixty feet under.
You must be picking up some traces.
That'd a negative, sir.
Unless you count the willies It's, uh like a museum down here.
Uh, but no bodies, no mystical readings.
I'm .
.
uh, allone down here.
So, what's it all mean? Nothing from the experts.
but I've been studying it a while.
And? I think it's a frown turned upside down.
And turned upside down again.
So you think it's a frown.
A guy with a monocle frowning.
You're a terrible watcher.
Don't call me a watcher.
I think it's a beautyful sunset.
Seriously? - She's just gonna whine.
- She is, uh, got a lot to whine about.
You could be her sister.
Xander' so stupid when he's right.
But all Dawn does lately is talk about her problems which admittedly, have gotten bigger.
- Thought I'd come and see you.
- 'Cause Xander made you.
Why will you talk to Willow not to me? Willow understands.
You know, I can get you some apprentice witches.
She told me a lot, especially when you were dead.
Uh,.
.
you were dating a thricewise? Kenny never said he was a thricewise.
I said he was a thricewise.
Everyone said he was a thricewise.
It's fricking freezing Why do we have to be in Scotland? You don't have to be in Scotland.
You have to be at Berkeley.
Believe me, as soon as I'm person-sized, I'm out of here.
You should get out, run around on the moore.
I could swat you like a flea.
Your butt looks big in those giant pants.
I got things to do.
Face it.
Dawn and I haven't really gotten along since since we changed the world.
I miss my home.
I miss my mom.
I miss the gang and churros and sex.
Great muppety odin, I miss that sex.
Ooh! I knew Dawn had sex with that Kenny and won't say anything to me but she'll tell Willow.
Suck it up, Summers.
You're a big girl now.
Lord.
How is that thing alive? Well, magic, obviously.
Lets take a look at our other subject.
We believe she was keeping the nasty guy you just saw alive after the decimation.
But I I mean, what did they eat? Whoever else was trapped in there.
Insane.
Once our man undergrund got over his girly screaming fit.
He told us her first words.
"I'm gonna help you kill her.
" Who compromised our intel All magic, general You still have to learn the rules.
That's sort of what I meant.
You think she can help us? What does she want? Access to all our magical hardware A weapons lab for the other subject, her boyfriend.
- You can't mean - Also release and full immunity, if they succeed in taking down Buffy Summers.
And, well .
She wants a lot of cheese.
Cheese Of course.
We got a name on this nutjob? Amy.
Her name is Amy.
VO by katruscha