Charmed s08e01 Episode Script

And just once again, I'm very sorry.
Victor.
Thank you for coming by,|I really appreciate it.
- My condolences.
|- Thank you, thank you.
- We love you, Piper.
|- We love you.
I knew you two were close.
I've known her for so many years.
Pretty good turnout, huh? - Phoebe?|- No, Dad, I'm Piper.
That's Phoebe.
I can't believe how many leprechauns|are at my urn.
Well, they always had|the hots for you.
It's kind of creepy, but I guess you|can't be too picky when you're dead.
You guys are driving me crazy,|you know that? Keep your voice down, will you?|And look a little more bereaved.
Agent Keyes is watching.
Oh, don't worry,|he'll never figure us out.
- How could he?|- Hey, I still can't figure it out.
Well, at least we're alive|and, more importantly, free.
Yeah, but do you have to keep|changing your looks all the time? Just pick one and stick with it,|would you? Why? It's fun.
Poor Paige,|not a lot of people at her urn.
I know, good thing|she's not here to see that.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
What's Janice Dickinson|doing here? Oh, Paige! - She knew Paige?|- Wow, I'm impressed.
You were the best friend I ever had! What am I gonna do without you? - Can we talk to you a minute?|- In private? Excuse me.
What are you doing? What is the meaning of this?|Do you have any idea who I am? Yeah, as a matter of fact, we do Paige.
I'm sorry, who? Nice try, jig's up.
Oh, all right then, fine.
Well, somebody had to cry|at my funeral, didn't they? We were supposed to keep|a low profile, what were you thinking? I was thinking that I obviously spent|too much time in the magical world because nobody even cares|that I'm dead! That's not true, you have mourners.
I mean, there are lots|of leprechauns out there.
I mean real people! Well, there was your friend Glen.
Yeah, Glen was at your urn,|and Ruthie, our neighbour.
- No, she was just going to get coffee.
|- Oh, really? My point exactly.
Oh, my God.
- We can explain, it's|- Don't bother.
Oh, you scared me,|I thought we were busted.
You are gonna be if you don't|change back, what are you doing? Apparently, having an identity crisis.
Oh, so it's okay for you to change|your husband into - What's wrong?|- It's a jingling in my head.
Does that mean the Elders|know she's alive? No, they can't.
|We cloaked ourselves from them.
It could be a new charge.
You know, a connection|to one's whitelighter is automatic.
Okay, well, just ignore it.
Easy for you to say.
|You are not half whitelighter.
Okay? Maybe it's one of the mourners.
Could be a demon out there.
No, no, no.
No demons.
Why? It makes sense, doesn't it? They probably wanna find out|if we're really dead.
It doesn't matter, we're retired,|we don't do demons anymore.
She's right, you're just gonna|have to forget about it.
Not so easy with a jingle-jangle.
- What is he doing here?|- He who? - I didn't even think he knew I existed.
|- Who is he? I don't know his name.
It's some guy that I used to see in the elevator|all the time at work.
He's kind of cute.
- Yeah.
|- Okay, people, morph now, ogle later.
Come on, we can't risk being caught.
|Choppity-chop-chop-chop.
Of course, I don't know if Phoebe|ever thought of me as her friend, but I always thought of her as mine.
Oh, I know for a fact|she's really glad you're here, Elise.
When I say I know, I mean|in the ethereal sense, of course.
- Channelling, sensing|- Of course.
I never realized she knew|so many little people, though.
Yes.
You must be devastated,|Mr.
Bennet.
- Yeah.
|- Especially considering how it happened.
Was there ever|an official cause of death? - Excuse me?|- Oh, forgive me for prying.
It's just that the news|always made it sound so mysterious.
And with no remains I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
Haas, Paul Haas.
And you knew my daughters how? By reputation.
I mean, did the police ever find|your son-in-law by any chance? Leo? No, they think he died|in the accident as well.
And now you have to raise|those boys all by yourself.
In this huge house.
If you find that you need|to sell it though, let me know.
I'd be glad to help.
You're a real-estate agent? I specialize in the moving|of problem properties.
You know, where people have died.
Buyers seem to be a little queasy.
Get out.
Again, my condolences.
Well? Are they dead or not? - They're dead.
|- Yeah! So we can do what we want.
- Nobody can stop us.
|- Except for other demons.
Which is why we need|to establish a foothold in the mortal world|as soon as possible.
- First, we mess with the mortals|- First, we do as I say.
Who says you decide? There's no order|to the underworld anymore.
Now that Zankou and his generation|have been decimated, it's our time to play.
Which means|it's every demon for himself.
Until one demon rises to power, and then you'll be forced|to answer to him! Is that what you want? What I want is to scare|the living hell out of people literally.
Each to his own gifts.
Fine then, go.
Me, I want out of this hole.
Take over the symbolic seat of power|before anybody else does.
The Charmed Ones' home.
How do you plan to get it? I'm going to buy it|from their father's estate after I kill him.
This case isn't dead.
- I mean, you said so yourself, right?|- So? So then why are we heading|back to D.
C? Why aren't we just staying here? I don't understand.
You spend years trying to prove|that there's something out there, right? Some unseen power.
But then you walk away from it|just like that? Just like that.
Well, what about what happened|to Inspector Sheridan? That thing that killed her? Or what about that cop who swears|he saw Leo at the scene of the crime? That means he's still alive It's over, Agent Murphy,|the sisters are dead.
You don't believe that.
You're right.
I don't.
But I want them to think I do.
If they're in hiding, they're not going|to resurface with us hanging around.
So we leave,|let them get comfortable, complacent.
But then how will we know if? Because you're going|to stay behind, that's how.
Keep an eye on things for me.
You lay low, be patient.
And give them plenty of space.
If they are still alive,|they'll come home.
Sooner or later,|everyone always does.
How well did you know Phoebe? Not as well as I liked to.
But I loved to read her column.
- Really?|- Yeah, every day.
Could never get over how somebody|as beautiful as she was could be so incredibly insightful.
You don't say.
- Excuse me, do you mind?|- It's all right, I've got this.
You were saying? About Phoebe? Just that I thought she was great.
- Really great.
|- Then why didn't you ever - ask her out?|- What? Thanks for coming,|sorry you have to go.
- What?|- Okay, bye-bye.
Piper, what are you doing? What are you doing?|You can't pick up on a guy at a funeral.
Why not? It's my funeral.
It's okay, sweetie,|Mommy's right here.
Wyatt, honey, what's the matter? He doesn't know it's you, Piper.
It's okay, buddy, all right?|Daddy's here.
Okay? We're all here.
Mama.
Aunt Phoebe.
Okay? See? Poor little guy, he's confused.
He doesn't know what's going on,|neither does baby Chris.
All this changing|makes him nervous, I think.
Yeah, maybe we didn't exactly think|this thing through.
We didn't have time|to think it through.
Well, it's too late to go back now,|so, what do we do? I think I have an idea.
Follow me.
Okay, it's a good thing we kept this.
Yeah, but we're not supposed|to use it.
The more magic we use, the more likely the demons|are to find us out.
We didn't say|we'd never use magic again.
Besides,|I think we really need this spell.
- Why, what will it do?|- End our confusion, hopefully.
I've been thinking about it|for the last couple of days, and all we need to do is each of us|needs to come up with one look, one disguise that we want to project|to the rest of the world.
You mean like a permanent|permanent one? That's the idea.
How is that gonna end the confusion?|Especially for the boys? Oh, because they won't see|the disguises, neither will any of us.
Okay, just trust me.
You guys have a look in mind? Yeah, you know what,|nothing flashy either.
Okay, ready? To mask us now and in future hours But not from those we call family - Well, anything happen?|- Do we look the same? - Yeah.
|- Maybe it didn't work.
It definitely worked.
Oh, my goodness, is that me? Is it the you you envisioned? Hey, I thought you said no flash.
It was the first look|that came to mind.
I like it.
How is it you can see your other selves|reflected in the mirror? It's part of the spell.
You know, this just might work.
The jingle again.
Do you think this means|something bad is gonna happen? - Okay.
|- Hey, I'm not done.
It doesn't matter, you are now.
It's an identity, not a novel.
As long as these reflect|who we're trying to be, and where we've come from,|we're all good.
Okay, Julie, nice,|Jo, Jenny, Louis? Louis.
You know, like|Louis Armstrong, the Great Satchmo? The trumpeter? Yeah, I think Dad used|to listen to him.
Okay, if you can deal with it,|so can the government.
- Voilà.
New identities.
|- Are you sure? Only one way to find out.
|Let's go shopping.
- No.
|- Yeah, come on.
No.
Wait, no.
Come on, we have seven years|of lost time to make up for.
We have to start somewhere.
- Yeah, I know but|- No buts, we are free.
Do you have any idea|what that means? It means no more demons,|no more cops.
- We can do whatever we want.
|- I know, I know.
But still Would you please talk some sense|into this woman? You know what occurred to me? That real-estate agent your dad|was talking about? If you think about it, he may be a Oh, my God!|If you say the D word, I might implode.
Come on, you guys, what's wrong?|I mean, isn't this what we wanted? Yes, it's just it's not as simple|as I had hoped, that's all.
You know why?|Because you haven't been out yet.
And you will feel so much better|in a new pair of shoes.
- I don't need new shoes.
|- That's the old you talking.
Come on, you guys,|can't we just at least try to have fun? Don't we owe ourselves that much? - Yes, we do|- That's the spirit.
Paige I mean, Jo.
|Shoes are on me.
I may just stay here and relax a little.
Relax.
I like it, relax.
Come on.
He was not hitting on me.
He was too.
|He was practically drooling on you.
Okay, first, I'm married.
Secondly, he's a salesman|in a woman's shoe store.
What are the chances he's not gay? Who cares, just enjoy.
|That's our new mantra, right? Still, maybe Paige is right,|I don't think this new look is me.
- I think you look hot.
|- Easy, sis, don't creep me out.
Hey, we're not sisters anymore,|remember? We're cousins.
Still creepy.
Isn't there any part of you|that doubts your decision at all? No.
I mean, I liked both pairs of shoes|so I bought both pairs of shoes.
No, not the shoes.
The pretending to be dead|to the rest of the world.
Well, yeah.
|I mean, obviously there were certain aspects of my life that I really liked.
But I couldn't fully enjoy it|because of all the witch stuff.
Yeah, but the witch stuff|is who we are.
We can't just walk around pretending|we don't have powers anymore.
Yeah, but, Piper,|nobody is saying that we have to.
We just don't have to use our powers|every other week to save the world, - that's the only difference.
|- That, and the fact that the last three decades|of our life are suddenly gone.
Well, we have to give up something|to gain something.
Look, you wanted a normal life|more than all of us, right? So what's changed all of a sudden? I'm neurotic,|what do you want from me? That's not it, what else is it? It's just It's a big change,|and I don't do change very well.
So, you know, just let me freak out|for a little while and then, you know, I'm sure I'll be fine.
Okay.
Wanna go get|our eyebrows plucked? Gee, I'd love to.
But, no, I gotta go check on P3 and make sure Dad|hasn't done a lot of damage.
Besides, it's gonna be the only thing|that will pay for all these shoes.
You worry too much, missy.
or at least she had one.
Piper has Leo,|Piper has the boys, what do I have? I have a giant sucking hole|of nothingness! Please, Paige, spare me the dramatics|and cut to the chase, will you? I've got an afterlife to live, you know.
See, even you have a life,|and you're dead.
I just don't know where to start.
Well, you know, it's not like|anybody asked for my opinion before abandoning|the Charmed legacy in the first place.
Thanks, Grams, I'm so glad you came,|you've been a great help.
Look, honey, I'm sorry.
But you're the one who got yourself|into this mess, not me.
I didn't have a choice, okay?|We didn't have a choice.
We were going to die, the real way.
I understand.
|And I'm not judging you.
Well, maybe I am a little.
But my point is that you've|made a choice, whether you were forced into it or not,|and you've got to live with that choice, whether you like it or not.
- What if I can't?|- Oh, that's ridiculous.
No, it's not.
I want a life outside of magic,|I really do, but But what? But it's the jingling, okay?|I hear it, night and day, which means people|are constantly calling for my help.
That is just the whitelighter in you.
But that's still me, Grams.
|And that's still magic.
So what if I can't|ever really get away from it? Well, one thing is for sure, young lady.
You're never gonna find what|you're looking for sitting around here.
You want a fresh start? Then pull yourself up|by your bootstraps, get out into the world|and try it on for size.
See what happens.
- I don't know.
|- Hey, you don't want my advice? Don't conjure me next time.
Now get up.
Get a grip and don't come back|until you find your thrill.
Now go.
Great, just great.
Oh, sorry.
My fault.
No, sorry, it's mine.
I didn't see you.
Well, I saw you, that's for sure.
I mean, how could I not? A beautiful|girl sitting here all by herself? - Well, rub it in.
|- I'm sorry? Nothing.
Do you mind if I join you? Oh, actually, I was - Yeah, sure, why not?|- Great.
You're new around here, aren't you? No, I'm n - Why do you ask?|- Well, local place and all.
Pretty much everybody here|is a regular.
And you know I'm not.
I definitely would have remembered|seeing you before.
Hey! He just took her purse.
What are you doing?|Where you going? Are you out of your mind?|You'll get yourself killed! Damn it, why didn't I orb? Would you stop that already? I give up.
- Be quiet, be quiet.
Who is that? Get down, be quiet.
Stay down.
Stay We have to find the others.
- I don't know.
- I don't know.
- Did you call for me?|- I don't think so.
You don't have the power to stop me,|whitelighter.
You obviously don't know who I am.
|Which is probably a good thing.
Doesn't that burn your hand? Damn, I was hoping for such|a better fight with my first demon.
You are a demon, aren't you? - Hurry up.
|- The exit's over here.
Now, help me out here,|I'm new at this.
Who pays for that? - There's still a couple loads out there.
|- You're kidding me.
Why don't we get the girls to do|a little hocus-pocus, huh? No.
No more magic.
Not unless it's absolutely necessary.
They gotta get out of the habit|of relying on it.
Or else they'll never have|normal lives.
Yeah, right,|like that's ever gonna happen.
- What, you don't think it will?|- Well, do you, Louis? Come on,|who are you trying to kid here? Whether I like it or not,|and you know I don't, being magical|is part of who they are.
It's part of who you all are.
You may have been able|to change your identities but you didn't change that.
Well, we'll just do|the best we can then.
Yeah, but what if that's|not good enough? I mean, I don't mean to sound|pessimistic here, because I really want this|to work out, but it's not gonna be easy.
Especially for you and Piper.
Why especially for us? Because you got the boys|to raise like this, and you Where's the baby monitor? I just checked on Chris,|he's sleeping.
Go on.
Oh, don't listen to me.
|I'm worried and grumpy.
You think I'd know better by now.
|I've been worried since I first found out the kids|were gonna be witches, you know? You know, maybe you should|go home for a while, Victor.
You know, get away from all of this.
You've been around here|for about a week or so now.
Yeah, I will.
Just as soon|as things settle down here.
Listen, why don't you wash,|I'll go get the last load, huh? Hey.
I mean you no harm, Victor.
My name is Jonah.
I'm an Elder.
I just need to talk to you, all right? - All right.
|- Good.
Now, I know|what you've gone through.
What you still|must be going through.
Children should bury their fathers,|not the other way around.
- Go on.
|- We've been talking - We?|- The other Elders and myself.
- About the boys, Wyatt and Chris.
Losing their parents,|their aunts, it's unspeakable.
Especially considering|who they were.
Which is why we feel very strongly that it would be|in the boys' best interest You're not taking them.
Forget it.
Victor, you're mortal.
You can't possibly raise them to be I'm their grandfather,|that's all I need to be.
I don't think|you quite realize the extent to which our future, all our future,|depends upon their upbringing.
I got a pretty good idea.
Then you know they'll continue|to be targets of evil.
Demons who will stop at nothing|to turn them to their side, or worse, destroy them.
And how will you protect them? I'll find a way.
They should come with me now|for their sakes.
Over my dead body.
I pray you know what you're doing.
You still sure|you don't wanna go home? Yeah, I'm thinking about it.
Hey, where you been? Oh, you know,|just kind of out and about.
Hey, whoa.
You're bleeding.
How did that happen? Yeah, how did that happen? How is it that the great Elkin|got his ass kicked by one lousy witch? I didn't get my ass kicked.
I could have easily killed her|if I wasn't worried about exposure.
She wasn't.
Which is why I'm not even sure|she was a witch.
Well, what could she have been?|An usher? Whoever she was,|she tracked me there somehow.
Which means|we'll cross paths again.
And next time, I'll be waiting.
I don't like it.
Not with that whitelighter there too.
- There's more to this.
|- I can handle them both.
It's not like we have to worry|about the Charmed Ones coming to the rescue anymore.
Still, we should consolidate our powers|regardless of the threat.
We'll kill the father at nightfall,|while the powerful progeny sleeps.
One week, one lousy week.
|Are you kidding me? Barry Manilow?|Dad, you booked Barry Manilow? - What were you thinking?|- Hello? Dominique, thank God you're here.
Are these all the receipts|for the last seven nights? - Has everything been entered?|- I'm sorry, who are you? I'm Julie.
I mean, Jenny Bennet.
I'm Victor's cousin.
Niece, I'm Victor's niece.
Okay, so what are you doing|with our computer? And how did you get the password? Uncle Victor gave it to me.
Excuse me.
New shoes, they look a lot nicer|than they feel.
So you work here now? No, I'm just helping out a little,|you know, because Victor asked me|to help out.
You wouldn't mind|if I call him to verify that? No, not at all.
|Please, knock your socks off.
Hello? What? Wait, wait, what? Leo, we're not supposed to have|family emergencies anymore, we're done with that.
All right, fine, I'm coming.
But you need to come down here and find a way|to save our financial butts.
I still can't believe she's really gone.
She was always so sweet to me.
She always had a smile|for everyone.
And she was always there|whenever you needed her.
She helped me through my divorce.
She doubled our readership.
- Here you go.
|- Thanks.
Who are you? I'm Julie Bennet, Phoebe's cousin|from her father's side.
Oh, my dear,|I am so sorry for your loss.
I know you are.
I just came by to pick up|some of her things, so don't mind me.
Were you close to Phoebe? Yes, yes, I was.
She was amazing, wasn't she? A doll.
The best friend I could ever ask for.
- That is so sweet.
|- Oh, I mean it, she was the best.
I'm gonna miss her like crazy.
See, now you're gonna go|and make me cry.
It's the truth.
She was more than just|the heart and soul of this paper.
She was the daughter I never had.
Oh, Elise! I had no idea! I mean, Phoebe had no idea.
I mean, she never told me|how close you both Then again, you know,|why would she tell me? Because, you know, then obviously she didn't know|this was gonna happen.
Carry on.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, that's right,|you don't know who I am.
I'm Julie, Phoebe's cousin.
- I sort of saw you at the wake.
|- Oh, yeah.
I'm so sorry.
Thanks.
And you're? Dex.
Dex Lawson.
- Dex Lawson.
Nice to meet you, Dex.
|- You too.
Everything all right? Yeah.
It's just hot in here.
Nice meeting you.
- Are you out of your mind?|- Leo told us you fought a demon? - I can explain.
|- What is this? What are you doing? I am trying to find a girl.
Okay, look,|we have been through this, okay? If anyone finds out we're alive,|we're screwed.
Do you have a death wish,|is that the problem? Okay, would you two please just be|quiet for a minute and let me explain? Thank you! First of all,|I did not intentionally engage a demon.
Oh, don't say engage.
Don't ask.
Look, I just had the ringing|in my head and I just figured if I answered,|that maybe, you know You're not supposed to respond|to anything anymore.
Look, it's very hard not to respond|to a call for help.
Paige, you have to! Okay, we've had this conversation.
Yeah, I know we have,|but it's not that easy.
Okay, everybody|just calm down a second.
Did you at least|vanquish the demon? No.
But on the bright side,|he did not know who I was.
Well, that's good at least.
So, what happened to the demon? I don't know.
This chick came along|and scared him off.
- What chick?|- What chick? Ltsy bitsy spider Climbing up the spout Down came the rain And washed the spider out We'll wait for him|to come back downstairs alone.
I don't know who she was,|she showed up right after I got there.
Do you think she was a witch? I don't know, maybe.
Maybe she was the one|that called you.
No, this girl definitely|did not need my help.
Could have been a bad witch.
And if that's true,|and she figures out who we are I'm telling you,|she was after the demon, she was not interested in me.
Still, she could have ID'd you|and that would have been very bad.
Oh, for crying out loud,|give her a break, will you? Grams, what are you doing here? I'm trying to keep you|from ganging up on her, that's what.
Well, you're sort of dead,|so this doesn't really concern you.
It does when my legacy is at stake.
Oh, please,|I think we've paid our dues.
And I'm not saying that you haven't.
You have every right to want|to live normal, unencumbered lives.
But just because you want to,|doesn't mean you can.
You're a little late with that speech.
Well, perhaps for the two of you.
|But not for Paige.
Whether or not you succeed|remains to be seen.
But you cannot deny|that she is being called by somebody.
And you can't deny it either.
You're right, I can't deny it,|especially not right now.
Hello, Victor.
Now, are you sure|you don't wanna sell? Who are you? - That doesn't sound good.
|- No, it doesn't.
Thank you for coming.
Oh, the good old days! - Hey, thank her for me, will you?|- What? Who? Where did he come from? Behind you! Thanks.
Showoff.
Well, she can't be all bad,|she said "thank you.
" We don't know what she is, she didn't|stick around long enough for us to ask.
You gotta admit,|that was a nice flip, though.
And a nice attitude.
She didn't even care|that we saw her use her powers.
What was that? I think that's because|she was tracking the first demon.
He was the same one|she was after before.
I also think she might be|your new charge.
It's the second time she showed up|right after you got a call.
Which means she probably knows|who we are and she could expose us.
She was after the demons, not us.
And the demons|were going after Dad, and he should be our main concern|right now, not this supergirl.
Well, the question is why|were they after him in the first place? Who knows?|I mean, maybe to get to the boys or the house as some kind of trophy.
The point is, we're gonna have|to go after the demon.
Even if it risks exposing us.
- We may have already been exposed.
|- No, I don't think so.
We were disguised to him,|and besides, we didn't use our powers.
The problem is we can't just vanquish|the one demon.
We're gonna have to make|some sort of a statement.
Otherwise what's to keep|the entire underworld from coming after Dad|again and again? Well, here's our conundrum, people.
How do we make a statement|without letting them know it's us? I knew you'd come home|sooner or later.
- You again.
|- Yup.
Me again.
And this time I know you're alone.
Just out of curiosity, Victor, who are all those women|at the house? If you tell me, I promise to make|your death relatively painless.
Gee, thanks.
Believe me, considering|all the pain your daughters have caused over the years,|that would be a gift.
The women, who were they? I don't know who the other one was.
But the others are cousins.
|They're moving in.
No, they're not.
I am.
You've got to be kidding me, right? - You think that he can stop us all?|- Try him.
Spread the word.
|Leave us alone or he'll kill you all.
Where are the others? Vanquished.
It was a setup.
It was planned.
And not by the boy.
He's not old enough.
It could be that the Charmed Ones|are still alive.
Well, how'd it go? - What do you think?|- I think it worked.
I don't think he would have left|unless he got the message.
- Question is, will he deliver it?|- And will it stick? I think so.
The whole underworld|is afraid of Wyatt.
Apparently, my little guy's reputation|precedes itself.
So that's it, we can get back|to our lives now? Whatever those are.
Well, one of them|has wedding bells in them.
- Later.
|- Okay.
Well, just as long as we're still|demon-free, that's all that matters.
Oh, lookie, lookie,|who's finally come around.
I told you I just needed a little time|and, you know, a very big reminder of what our lives|used to constantly be like.
Right.
We still have the little witch|to contend with.
Oh, no.
We don't.
We don't.
You do.
She's your charge.
- No!|- Yeah.
Maybe you won't hear|from her again.
I have a feeling|she'll be sticking around for a while.
Billie, where are you?|We're late for class.
Yeah, just a minute.