Doc Martin (2004) s08e01 Episode Script
Mysterious Ways
1 Oh! Out of my way! What's the matter with you people? Out of my way! Right, out of the way.
Oh, my God.
Has anyone called an ambulance? On its way, Doc.
Sorry to get you out so early.
I'll give you a nerve block.
This will have to be dismantled.
No, Doc, you can't do that, it's my brother's boat.
He needs the winch for this morning's fishing.
Your fingers are lodged in there, you could lose your hand.
- I could reverse the machinery.
- Don't touch anything.
Probably not that complicated.
I don't need a shot.
It's a local anaesthetic, injected around the nerve below your wrist.
It'll numb your fingers.
Hold very still.
I don't want to pierce - .
.
your ulnar artery.
- Argh! - Don't touch anything! - Sorry.
Sorry.
My bad.
Imbecile! Doc, is this a bad time to ask you a question? - Yes.
- Thought so.
No, no, we made it clear that you had to give us one month's notice, Janice.
Sorry, I thought it'd be obvious I wouldn't be working after tomorrow.
- You know, because of this.
- But I'm married and I work.
Yeah.
I know.
It's just a very busy period for me, Janice.
We've got parents' evening, and now I need to find alternative childcare for James.
Mel's opened that nursery.
Heard the places are going fast.
Might be good for him, get him used to socialising, being around folk, so he doesn't end up like, erm - Like who? - Hello.
Doc, just one second.
Joe, you can't be here! It's bad luck.
That doesn't count until tomorrow.
- Where are you going? - I'm not taking any risks.
I'll wait outside till Joe's gone.
How was the emergency? Some stupid fisherman caught his hand in a winch.
Don't worry.
Me and the Doc had it covered.
The old Dynamic Duo.
So, you'll be coming to the pre-wedding party this evening? Yeah, maybe.
Martin, can you switch James into the buggy? I need to grab those staff appraisal forms and get off to work before I'm late.
So, Doc, what I was talking about.
- Arms up.
- It's Al.
He's just not cutting it as best man.
I mean, he's good, but good isn't enough.
I thought, you know, return the favour? Erm no.
What's the matter with you? Just been working out at the gym.
Getting in shape for the wedding.
Dug.
Oh.
It took me half the night to get these done.
- How much sleep did you get? - No, I'm fine.
It's just the workload's been a bit tough recently.
- Don't worry.
- At least this one's settled.
Fast learner, too.
You never mentioned he was talking already.
What? He spoke? Er yes, I think he did just say something.
No, no.
I can't believe I missed his first word.
What did he say? I'm not sure.
It sounded like, er"duck".
Sounded more like "dog" to me.
James, tell Mummy.
What did you say? Was it "dog" or was it "duck"? James? Dad.
- Oh, morning, boy.
- What are you doing so early? Well, I could ask you the same thing.
Hm.
So, are we gonna do that thing where I ask you what you're hiding in the shed or are you just gonna go ahead and show me? - That is a lot of whisky.
- Yes.
Yes.
You told Ruth that sales had been good.
I massaged the truth.
It inspires confidence in the investors.
I had a deal with a restaurant in Bridge.
20 bottles.
It felt like the start of something big.
It made sense to be prepared.
And judging by the look of things, nobody nobody else has placed an order.
It's the economy.
Restaurateurs are too scared to take a gamble on an unknown brand.
I know I can turn it round.
But I just need you to do me a favour.
Don't tell Ruth, right? I mean, have a little faith in me.
Oh.
Thanks for dropping it off here, Mike.
Thank you.
- Fingers crossed, eh? - Let's hope so.
Bye.
Oh.
Hello.
Sorry.
Erm short notice, but I was wondering if the Doctor had any appointments today.
Well, we've just had a cancellation.
- So if you're free now? - Oh, yes.
Wonderful.
The name's Rosie Edwards.
I'm not registered here yet.
It won't be a problem.
If you could just fill out one of these forms.
So have you just moved to the village, then? Yeah.
Half my stuff's still in storage.
I've not even had time to unpack and it's straight to work.
You working with Rev Moore, then? Er no, instead of him.
So I got back from my holiday yesterday and there are these messages saying he's gone off on some spiritual retreat and I've got to fill in ASAP.
It's been a rush and a push, it has.
So, are you doing the wedding tomorrow, then? Yeah.
It's my first one ever.
Yeah, maybe don't mention that to the groom.
He's a bit on edge as it is.
Well, I am qualified.
You've not met Joe Penhale.
Just trust me on this.
- Oh! - Careful.
Your depth perception's altered.
You'll get used to it.
Next patient.
Go through.
What's all this? Tidy this up.
It looks like a jumble sale.
Hello, love.
Er, so I was in Australia for a holiday and I had a few problems.
I was told I'd need to check in with a GP when I got back here.
You had a deep vein thrombosis.
Apparently from the plane ride over.
I was only meant to be there for two weeks.
The whole thing was a complete disaster for a number of reasons.
Sleeve.
Ended up closer to a month, stuck in hospital, juggling all that trying to work out when I'm starting my curateship here.
Your blood pressure's high.
Yeah.
Tell me something I don't know.
Actually, I didn't know that.
You've also been prescribed Warfarin.
I'll need to monitor your blood while you're taking that.
- Are you practising? - Yes, of course.
I'm a certified medical practitioner.
No, I mean the Buddha statue you have over there.
Yeah, I understand.
I've heard it's one of the most popular ornaments to keep in the home.
I suppose that says a lot about who we are these days, religion as a statement of interior design rather than faith or belief.
Stop talking.
The er doctor in Australia said I'd need to be on Warfarin for four months.
- That can't be right.
- No.
Well, that's a relief.
More like six.
Your deep vein thrombosis is caused by a blood clot that's at risk of breaking loose and travelling to your lungs, causing a fatal pulmonary embolism.
It's very serious.
What are you doing? Something to remind me to keep calm and centred no matter what.
Back when I worked in the city, I had a few problems before.
I had to learn some coping mechanism.
All right.
Don't start doing it again.
And four bedrooms? Well, if we could get you an attic.
- Anything's possible.
- Next patient? Yeah.
And the important question.
What sort of price range would you be looking at? Are you the patient? Come through.
Can I I'll have to call you back.
What time's a good time? Erm yeah, lovely.
OK.
Oh.
Here you go.
Doctor's orders.
Oh.
He's an odd one, isn't he? He's got a strange idea of bedside manner.
The Doc is a very intelligent and conscientious man.
We're blessed to have him.
£8.
60, please.
No, of course, I I didn't mean Oh, you've got, erm What? Oh, right.
Yeah.
Matching collars.
Mine is for a genuine medical complaint.
No, of course.
Sorry.
I'm the new curate.
I didn't realise we were getting a woman.
Thanks, then.
It's only his first word.
It's not a big deal, really.
I mean, yes, it's the moment where you realise truly that your child is their own person.
Miss.
There's a worried looking man in the playground.
- Where? - Out of the way.
Be careful of the baby.
That's it.
Careful.
Careful.
- Stand clear.
- Martin.
Is everything OK? Yes, it's fine.
It's Thursday.
We meet for lunch on Thursdays.
Sorry, I totally forgot, I've just had so much on.
- It doesn't matter.
- It does.
I've been rota'd onto lunch duty today.
You'll have to go without me.
We'll do something later, though.
Yes, I can get some fish, if you like.
Actually, it's Joe and Janice's pre-wedding party this evening and I did sort of say we'd maybe go.
- Oh.
- You don't want to go, do you? - I don't mind if you want to.
- I don't really.
Anyway, you hate those sorts of things.
They'll be disappointed if you don't go.
Right.
So, sorry, now you do want to go to a party? I don't know.
What do you want to do? - Knew you'd start complaining.
- I'm not complaining.
- Joe expects us to be there.
- Right, so we are going? - Yes, I - Good.
I'll see you later.
I'll ring the babysitter.
Bye.
And then I'll say, "I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife" and I'll join your hands.
Sorry, it's just you keeping saying "I", but tomorrow, it'll be a real vicar, right? Well, no, it'll be me.
But you're not a real vicar.
I'm a curate.
Think of me as a vicar with learner plates on.
But I thought we were getting a proper person to do our wedding.
How many folks have you actually married? Why don't we head over to the vestry and talk about the two of you? Because that's what it's all about, isn't it? So how long have you two been together? - I'd say about seven.
- Eight.
Eight weeks.
Oh.
So it's a it's a whirlwind romance, then? It's a funny story.
We were out for fish and chips one night and Joe just asked me.
I was waiting on my cod and I said, "All right.
Why not?" But you've discussed the future what marriage means to both of you, whether you want children - No, thank you.
- As many as we can have.
I don't mean hundreds.
- Five or six.
- I work with children .
.
and it's screaming and crying and stuff coming out of both ends.
It is healthy to have differences.
Can we have it put in the marriage vows that we don't need to have children? The important thing is that you take this seriously.
Let marriage be held in honour among all.
Sorry, how many weddings have you done before? I'd rather we talk about you.
It is vital that you've thought through this decision.
We've both been married before.
Once.
Twice.
I'd say that's even more reason that you need to be sure.
Do you have any references? It's my first wedding, all right? But I am very capable.
I can assure you of that with all my heart.
Your nose is bleeding.
Hm? Oh, sorry, er it's er Ah.
Oh, dear, that's Oh it's just It's been a long week.
- So - Uh.
.
.
in your professional opinion, me and Janice here, and be honest - Brutally honest.
- .
.
we've both had heartbreak and misfortune, so it's really important to us.
Do you think we've got what it takes? Very, very, very, very good.
Well done.
Dug.
I've finally got these staff appraisal forms finished.
It's getting ridiculous, I barely do any teaching nowadays, it's all data analysis and record keeping.
- He spoke again, didn't he? - Yes.
What did he say? Erm I think it was "duck".
Maybe "dog".
That's twice I've missed it now.
- I'm sure it's not personal.
- I didn't think it was.
At least not until you mentioned it.
He's not even looking at me now.
He hasn't developed the cognitive capacity to know when he's being discussed yet.
Do you think he likes me? Who knows? I didn't like my mother.
Does it matter? Of course it matters! And he's not you.
Well, I'm sure he's very fond of you.
Maybe you should think about reducing your work load, if it's causing you stress.
Thanks.
We should think about going.
Right! You lot, I want you in here now! Start serving, Becky, and no mucking about like last week.
I got my eye on you.
Right.
Take a tray and mingle.
Go on, mingle.
Go on.
Take a tray.
Mingle.
Finished your best man speech yet? Didn't have to.
Joe decided to write it himself.
It's 15 pages long plus footnotes.
Only one more day then you're free.
- Yeah.
- Vodka and Coke, thanks.
Really? Al? Talk about low standards.
- Hm.
- This is whisky.
Straight whisky.
Dad.
Dad! Before you say something, Joe is paying for all the alcohol, but he hasn't been specific about what alcohol.
Aside from our whisky, what other drinks are available? Please tell me there's at least soft drinks, right? Well, there's water.
For the whisky.
You're unbelievable.
Al, why can't I get a beer at my own party? Yeah, it's just a mix up with the supplier, mate.
You're best man.
You're supposed to be on top of things.
OK.
Give me five or ten minutes and I'll get it sorted, Joe.
It's a total disaster.
Oh, it's not that bad.
Morwenna, I'm a policeman, I know this village, these people, inside and out, and I can tell you for a fact that not one of them drinks whisky.
- Bert.
- Yes, my lover? Same again, ta.
Easy on the water.
Maybe he said "dog".
- It was impossible to tell.
- James is very fond of him.
Maybe we should think about, I don't know, keeping him.
Him? What do you mean, the dog? I know you didn't grow up with pets, Martin, but I had a dog when I was younger and I've got a lot of good memories of it.
And he is always around.
So's Penhale but we don't have to adopt him.
Oh.
How's your hand? Oh, it's fine, there's no need to check it, Doc.
Do you realise that drinking strong alcohol whilst on painkillers is not only stupid - but incredibly dangerous? - It's not my fault.
- They're only serving whisky.
- Don't be ridiculous.
Take responsibility for your own health.
Here, you, take that.
Get me a glass of water and a small glass of white wine.
Two whiskies.
No, a glass of water and a small glass of white wine.
Just take the drink and stop being so fussy, yeah? You're coughing over everything! Wash all those off! If you're not well enough to come to work you should go home.
Reverend Moore isn't taking the ceremony? He's on a spiritual retreat.
Sorry.
It's just that's what he always says when he wants to nip away for a fishing holiday.
I thought everybody knew that.
I hold a very senior position in this church, and no one has informed me of these events.
Well, don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
Wonderful, isn't it? First they got to vote, then they got to drive.
Now they can even marry people.
That's proper progress, Sal.
They're only serving whisky.
Is that something to do with you? Hello to you, too, Martin.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
This whole thing seems to be run by your business associates.
Testing, testing.
Oh, God.
- That's funny.
- Get on with it, you plonker! That's not funny.
Janice and I would like to thank you all .
.
for coming tonight Give me that.
Sit there.
There's a chair there.
- .
.
to celebrate our - Sit down.
- Breathe calmly, calmly.
- .
.
big day .
.
to mark - Just keep it down.
- Calm down.
- Doc? - I'm with a patient! Doc, it's fine.
They're just clearing their throats, playing silly buggers.
Pay attention to the speech now.
I'm having a bloody heart attack! No, she's not.
She's not having a heart attack.
Calm down.
Just breathe.
She's not having a heart attack.
Agh, agh, agh Just keep your eyes on me, people.
- Eyes on me, people.
- Get off! Sit down.
Open your mouth.
Doc, please Morwenna, we need to get all these people to the surgery.
- Surgery's closed, though.
- Well, go and open it, then.
- Stop eating peanuts.
- I'll have those.
Calm.
Calmly.
In through the nose, out through the mouth.
When's the Doc gonna see me? I told you, he's seeing everybody one by one.
I could die.
Would you be happy then, eh? Would you? I didn't ask to come back to work.
Listen, the Doctor said that you are all stable now, so just take a breath and he will be with you ASAP.
Have you had any other symptoms? Same as my mates, Doc.
Tell me about them.
Well, there's Chloe, she's blonde, says it's natural, - but hello, roots.
- Tell me about the symptoms.
Oh.
Bit of a sore throat, chest pain, comes and goes, hurts when I cough.
That last one, that was huge.
Can I get a sick note? And this just started today? Didn't you ask my mates the same question? Yes, and now I'm asking you.
Started this morning.
So sick note, yeah? Otherwise Bert'll try and stiff us.
We did that oyster festival for him the other day, he's still not coughed up, plus he got mad at us for, you know.
No, I don't know.
What does that mean? He's doing it to promote his horrible whisky.
Couldn't make me drink it, but then he's, "That's coming out of your wages.
" "It's only one bottle, mate.
" Tight-fisted git.
And you were all drinking from the same bottle? Yeah, but I'm still not paying for it.
Was everybody drinking from that bottle working tonight? Yeah.
Who else you going get? Slave wages, I said.
Then he said slaves didn't get wages.
What are you doing down there? Quiet! If you were working at the oyster festival earlier this week, put your hand in the air.
Keep your hand in the air if you also shared from a bottle of whisky with this girl.
Right.
It's my opinion you've all contracted Bornholm disease.
It's spread by respiratory droplets, infecting food and drink and bottles.
You can put your hands down now.
None of us care what we've got.
Are we gonna die, or what? Well, you really should care, you know.
Because of your complete lack of hygiene, you've infected one another with a virus.
Luckily for you, if it is Bornholm disease, it clears up in a week without treatment.
But you all need to stay at home to avoid infecting anyone else.
- We're bridesmaids tomorrow.
- I am the photographer - for the wedding, yeah? - I really don't care.
God knows how many people you infected today.
Now go home and stay indoors.
I'll be calling your parents to make sure they don't let you out.
Great for them on their wedding day! - Whatever! - Ridiculous! - What are you doing here? - You told me to come here.
Well, go home, then.
- Kind of feels like a bad omen.
- No, it's not.
It's just an unexplained situation where a group of people have collapsed with symptoms similar to that of a heart attack.
That's all.
Don't worry.
Where did everybody go? Gonna need you to step up your game tomorrow.
So why are you trying to force our whisky on people? - Special promotion.
- Bert.
I'm fairly sure I'm not an idiot so I'd appreciate your not treating me like one.
You promised me I was buying into a legitimate business.
It is legitimate.
Then you can provide me with some current sales figures.
Of course I can.
May take a few days to collate the figures, though.
No, Bert.
Tomorrow.
James.
Speak to Mummy.
Come on, James.
Speak to Mummy.
Say "duck".
Say "duck".
Duck.
No? OK.
James, say "doggy".
A doggy.
Say "doggy".
Dog.
Woof, woof! Woof! Dog.
Dog.
What on earth are you doing with that dog? I just wanted to give James a little a little nudge.
Why? His developmental process is perfectly normal.
Well, maybe we have different ideas of what normal is.
Martin, we both had absentee parents.
Sometimes I worry we'll end up repeating that pattern.
Why were you waving a dog? Because Joe Penhale got to hear his first word.
I just feel like I missed out.
I should get ready for work.
Banana.
He's not had it yet.
Please will you give it to him? You, out of here.
Go on, shoo! Shoo, shoo! Martin, what happened with those girls yesterday? They'll get better.
It was Bornholm disease.
Of course, yes.
An enterovirus.
Makes sense.
And how are things at home? They're fine.
You sound uncertain.
- Please don't analyse me.
- I wasn't.
I was showing concern.
Louisa missed James's first word and, erm Well, she's finding it, erm The post therapy period can be difficult.
People grow reliant on the process, having problems to focus on.
It can be a period of transition, adjusting her view of the world and her place in it.
Right, well, that's something to look forward to, isn't it? Oh, no.
No, no.
Get away! Go away! Disgusting.
Sorry, Doc, I'll just be a minute.
What the hell are you doing? Sorry, Doc, I can't help it, I got caught short.
Oh, no, no, no! I don't think I'll make it inside, Doc.
- No, just go! - Oh, thank you.
No, go inside! Oh.
Oh.
Ah.
Wait.
Wait there.
Wait.
I really can't.
Ah In that.
No, no, no, in the lavatory! - Is he all right? - He's an idiot.
It's a casserole.
Oh, thank you.
I'll be wanting the dish back when you're done.
You didn't have to do this.
Well, as we're working together, it's important we get along.
Just you here alone, then, is it? Er yeah.
Oh.
Cos I remember the estate agent, Mrs Trappett, saying that a nice young couple were moving in.
Did something happen, then? I need to get on, I've got a lot to unpack.
As you wish.
It's quite a big place, though, isn't it, for just one? - Thanks again.
- Mmhm.
Bye.
Sorry, Doc.
I forgot to fill the sample thingy the first time and obviously had to wait for the pipes to refill as it were.
On the examination table, please.
I've got to go get ready for my wedding.
You're clearly in great discomfort and were urinating in my garden.
Get on the examination table.
Take off your belt, undo the top of your trousers.
- Does this hurt? - No.
I told you, Doc, you're fussing about nothing, I've just pushed myself too hard at the gym, that's all.
- Does this hurt? - Argh! OK, let go.
Let go.
How long have you had that pain? A few days.
And how often are you passing water? - Bit personal.
- I'm a doctor.
Every couple of hours.
Sometimes more.
Is it Is it serious? I'm gonna have to tell Janice before I go down the aisle.
It's like when you buy a second-hand car.
If there's something wrong, they have to tell you.
That's the law.
The dipstick shows there's blood in your urine.
Oh, God.
It could indicate nephrolithiasis.
- That'd be my best guess.
- I can't believe it.
It's kidney stones.
Right.
Doc, couldn't you have just said that? Because, frankly, necro - Nephrolithiasis.
- .
.
sounds terrifying.
You'll need surgery, or laser treatment on the stones, or you could pass them naturally.
I'll go for natural.
Sounds best.
They're only stones.
I'll prescribe you some painkillers.
Actually, Doc, I've heard about people getting addicted to them.
Couldn't I have something off the shelf? No, it wouldn't be strong enough.
It can be incredibly painful.
And drink plenty of fluids.
What do you mean? No bridesmaids at all? Doctor's orders.
So, who's gonna take photos? Well, I can take them.
Don't worry.
OK, hold still.
So, what time are your parents arriving? I sort of didn't tell them, because I've been married twice before and they keep saying I don't think things through.
You have thought this through, though, right? Well yeah.
It's just with everything going wrong last night and now the bridesmaids being cancelled .
.
it feels like a sign.
Well, anything can be a sign, if you want it to be.
OK.
You're done.
I do look amazing, though.
- Sorry - Oh! .
.
if I upset you earlier.
No, you didn't.
It's fine.
Good, because I know weddings can be stressful.
Mm.
Oh, Reverend Moore is an old hand.
Now, he makes it look easy.
Watch it! Does he not know we're going to the wedding? Of course he would.
Where are you going? I told you to stay at home.
- We're going - What? I'm the bleedin' photographer.
- We're bridesmaids.
- None of this matters.
You are all extremely infectious.
Go home.
There's more of us than there is of you.
You can't stop us, Doc, can you? I can report you to the environmental health officer.
If your symptoms get worse, contact the surgery.
Go home and stay there.
And I will be checking.
This is ridiculous! I spent four hours doing my hair, Doc.
Thanks! - What a joke! - Better now? Yes.
Good morning, ladies.
- Have you got the ring? - Course I have.
Don't worry, everything's going to be Don't say it.
You'll jinx it.
- Hello.
- Hello, there.
On the left.
So we've sold nothing in the past three weeks but have continued to produce stock? Yes.
Which puts us on the edge of collapse, doesn't it? Maybe we should talk about this after the wedding.
Oh, we will.
Believe me.
You know, we've no idea if it's been housetrained and the chances are it's riddled with disease.
Endless studies show that children who grow up around pets, like I did, have a greater cognitive development.
And that's just a fact.
There are certain studies, yes.
I'm not entirely sure they're endless.
Is this why you've been unhappy recently? - Because you want a dog? - No.
I've not been unhappy, Martin.
Just cos you don't want a dog doesn't mean James is the same.
Oh, you look nice, Joe.
Did you pick up those painkillers? Doc, do me a favour.
It's my wedding.
Take off the stethoscope and try and enjoy yourself.
I'm not an idiot, you know.
After you.
Let's go through.
Are you OK? Maybe it's just nerves.
And Joe is lovely and sweet.
It's just I don't know.
How did you decide about Al? Well, I'm not marrying Al, I'm just going out.
And we were friends for a long time before that.
And he always dates the Doc's receptionists so I suppose it was a no-brainer.
Cheers, babe.
It's different for me.
I don't want to hurt Joe.
You're gonna hurt him a lot more if you change your mind in a few months' time.
I think I need to speak to him.
Mind your dress.
You can get a refund on that.
(Mrs T) - Hi.
- Hi.
Erm, Joe, listen In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit Sorry, just one sec.
.
.
we have come together to witness the marriage of Joseph William Penhale and Janice Alice Catherine Kate Bone, and pray for God's blessing on them Sorry, is there any chance you could sort of - Go faster.
Yes, please.
- What? .
.
and to shape their joy and celebrate their love.
Marriage is a gift of God in creation Could you maybe fast forward a bit? - Fast forward? - No one's really interested in all the God stuff, it's the vows they came to hear, so just skip on a bit, get to the good stuff.
I'm going to perform the ceremony properly.
It would be good to take a moment It doesn't matter, just keep on going.
Marriage is a gift of God in creation.
- You've said that already.
- It is given that as man and woman grow together in love and trust - .
.
they shall be united.
- No.
Sorry.
Just one minute.
Don't worry, I think I know what it is.
- I need to go and tell him.
- Are you sure? What's happening? Janice is thinking of calling off the wedding.
What? No.
No, you can't, because he'll blame me.
- I'll never hear the end of it.
- It's the best time.
- Get him nice and quiet.
- Try not to make it hurt any more than it has to.
- Ow, ow! - How are you getting on? No.
Doc, it really hurts.
You didn't get the painkillers, did you? I didn't want to be all smacked up on painkillers - on my wedding day.
- Then you're an idiot.
I know that now, Doc.
So, erm normal service will be resumed in a few minutes, so just talk amongst yourselves.
Try not to strain.
Then stop looking at me.
Ohh! - Right.
I'm looking away now.
- Ow, ow! Ohh! Sorry about that.
Right.
Normal service is resumed.
Let the wedding service commence.
- Mate - Trying to have a wedding here in case you hadn't noticed.
From the top.
- No.
- Good point.
No need to do the boring bit.
From the middle.
Joe - Al, seize the phone.
- I told you to stay at home! - I'm the official photographer.
- Go home now and stay there! Doc.
Please.
Trying to have a wedding here.
- Maybe we shouldn't.
- Look, I understand.
But you can't blame her, it's her first wedding, after all.
- This is not my fault.
- No, sure, I'm just I imagine someone with a bit more experience would know how to make things go a bit smoother.
It's you, making a mockery of this ceremony.
Marriage is serious.
Love is serious, but you're treating it all like some joke.
We could just go to the vows if you want.
I want you to be quiet and listen for once.
Neither of you have thought this through.
You are showing utter contempt for the order of service, and she, well, she's clearly having second thoughts.
No, she's not.
Are you? I'm sorry.
You could have both had a serious discussion about this beforehand, like I suggested.
But no, not you two.
No, it's better to wait till the service is under way before you examine your relationship! You know, you're the kind of people who wait until .
.
until someone has flown halfway round the bloody world before you tell them it's over.
That's a little bit unprofessional.
Something's the matter with her.
Miss Edwards? And I thought I could cope.
I thought I could manage.
Miss Edwards, can I have a word? No.
No.
They wanted a wedding.
They're gonna get a wedding.
They are getting married whether they like it or not.
Now start playing.
Start playing! Back to your places, come on, come on! Penhale, can you put pressure on that? Give me my hand back.
She's got no pulse.
Let me listen.
Right, she's stopped breathing.
- Defibrillator? - Yeah, it's in the car.
- I'll get it, and your bag.
- Thank you.
- Get outside! - Yes, come on.
Everyone out.
- Just let me through.
- Sal, Sal, come on.
It looks like a myocardial infarction, Doc.
Oh, my.
Oh.
Got it.
Her heart's beating again, but it's faint.
Where's my bag? - Here.
- There's a lot of blood, Doc.
Yes.
The Warfarin stopped it clotting properly.
- Leave that alone.
- On the case, Doc.
- I'm right by your side.
- Don't touch anything.
Right.
Press down.
I'll give her a vitamin K injection to reverse the effects of the Warfarin.
I feel duty-bound to tell you, Doctor, that the patient has been taking drugs.
I saw her popping pills earlier.
And also she called you odd.
Best do what the Doc says.
Come on, Sal.
Come on.
Miss Edwards, what tablets have you been taking? Miss Edwards.
I just needed something to get me through this month.
He already had a new girlfriend.
All that way to get my heart ripped out.
I was supposed to be married next month.
Yes, but what have you taken? I got them in Australia.
- Ven Ven something.
- Venlafaxine? Yes, supposed to help with depression and anxiety and And when taken in conjunction with Warfarin can cause psychosis and slurred speech, and an arrhythmic heart beat.
So, Doc, just to check, will she be able to continue the wedding? For the last time, go home! Ruth, I know I've made a little bit of a mess of things and you probably want to pull out of our business deal.
A partnership requires a degree of trust and honesty, both of which seem to be in short supply.
This is all I've got in my life.
Emotional blackmail won't help.
No, I mean, I will fight to the last breath to make this business work.
I know I'm not perfect, but I believe that we have something.
I just need a little more time.
One month.
I was thinking more like six or seven.
One month.
Right.
No problem.
What? Hang on.
What? - Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
I didn't think I could cope.
But I know that's not true now.
But everything is a test, isn't it? And that's how He works.
And if I can survive that policeman, I can survive anything.
Blessed is the one - Right, off you go.
- .
.
who perseveres under trial.
James, Chapter One, Verse 12.
Well, at least Joe managed to achieve something positive today in a roundabout way.
- Do you think he'll be OK? - Why? From the looks of things, he's just been jilted at the altar.
Hi.
We just want different things in life.
I want a family.
Kids.
I know, five or six.
I feel like we rushed into this, Joe.
I'm so sorry, I really am.
It's fine.
I'm good.
(Nighty night.
Good boy.
) (Is he asleep?) (Yeah, kind of.
) I think we should, erm keep the dog.
For a trial period, providing it's quarantined and deloused and wormed and castrated.
Oh, that's wonderful.
But why? - Because you asked me.
- But it's a dog, Martin.
It's a harbinger of pestilence and disease.
Mm.
But you've seemed frustrated lately and er I think it might help.
The problem isn't the dog, Martin.
It's my work.
It's Oh, it's changed, and it doesn't help I keep thinking that I should be around more for James.
So we don't need the dog, then? No, no, we're having the dog.
On a trial period with strict parameters.
For a trial period with strict parameters.
Dog.
Martin, I think I know what he's saying.
He's saying "dog".
Did you say, "dog"? Now say, "Mummy".
Say, "Mummy".
Are you cleaning yourself properly now? How is your personal hygiene routine? I am not a drug addict.
Which is exactly what one of them would say.
- Sorry, am I early? - Yes.
This is from your Dr.
Ellingham.
- It hurts! - It really does.
I have no idea what my father saw in such a place.
Oh, my God.
Has anyone called an ambulance? On its way, Doc.
Sorry to get you out so early.
I'll give you a nerve block.
This will have to be dismantled.
No, Doc, you can't do that, it's my brother's boat.
He needs the winch for this morning's fishing.
Your fingers are lodged in there, you could lose your hand.
- I could reverse the machinery.
- Don't touch anything.
Probably not that complicated.
I don't need a shot.
It's a local anaesthetic, injected around the nerve below your wrist.
It'll numb your fingers.
Hold very still.
I don't want to pierce - .
.
your ulnar artery.
- Argh! - Don't touch anything! - Sorry.
Sorry.
My bad.
Imbecile! Doc, is this a bad time to ask you a question? - Yes.
- Thought so.
No, no, we made it clear that you had to give us one month's notice, Janice.
Sorry, I thought it'd be obvious I wouldn't be working after tomorrow.
- You know, because of this.
- But I'm married and I work.
Yeah.
I know.
It's just a very busy period for me, Janice.
We've got parents' evening, and now I need to find alternative childcare for James.
Mel's opened that nursery.
Heard the places are going fast.
Might be good for him, get him used to socialising, being around folk, so he doesn't end up like, erm - Like who? - Hello.
Doc, just one second.
Joe, you can't be here! It's bad luck.
That doesn't count until tomorrow.
- Where are you going? - I'm not taking any risks.
I'll wait outside till Joe's gone.
How was the emergency? Some stupid fisherman caught his hand in a winch.
Don't worry.
Me and the Doc had it covered.
The old Dynamic Duo.
So, you'll be coming to the pre-wedding party this evening? Yeah, maybe.
Martin, can you switch James into the buggy? I need to grab those staff appraisal forms and get off to work before I'm late.
So, Doc, what I was talking about.
- Arms up.
- It's Al.
He's just not cutting it as best man.
I mean, he's good, but good isn't enough.
I thought, you know, return the favour? Erm no.
What's the matter with you? Just been working out at the gym.
Getting in shape for the wedding.
Dug.
Oh.
It took me half the night to get these done.
- How much sleep did you get? - No, I'm fine.
It's just the workload's been a bit tough recently.
- Don't worry.
- At least this one's settled.
Fast learner, too.
You never mentioned he was talking already.
What? He spoke? Er yes, I think he did just say something.
No, no.
I can't believe I missed his first word.
What did he say? I'm not sure.
It sounded like, er"duck".
Sounded more like "dog" to me.
James, tell Mummy.
What did you say? Was it "dog" or was it "duck"? James? Dad.
- Oh, morning, boy.
- What are you doing so early? Well, I could ask you the same thing.
Hm.
So, are we gonna do that thing where I ask you what you're hiding in the shed or are you just gonna go ahead and show me? - That is a lot of whisky.
- Yes.
Yes.
You told Ruth that sales had been good.
I massaged the truth.
It inspires confidence in the investors.
I had a deal with a restaurant in Bridge.
20 bottles.
It felt like the start of something big.
It made sense to be prepared.
And judging by the look of things, nobody nobody else has placed an order.
It's the economy.
Restaurateurs are too scared to take a gamble on an unknown brand.
I know I can turn it round.
But I just need you to do me a favour.
Don't tell Ruth, right? I mean, have a little faith in me.
Oh.
Thanks for dropping it off here, Mike.
Thank you.
- Fingers crossed, eh? - Let's hope so.
Bye.
Oh.
Hello.
Sorry.
Erm short notice, but I was wondering if the Doctor had any appointments today.
Well, we've just had a cancellation.
- So if you're free now? - Oh, yes.
Wonderful.
The name's Rosie Edwards.
I'm not registered here yet.
It won't be a problem.
If you could just fill out one of these forms.
So have you just moved to the village, then? Yeah.
Half my stuff's still in storage.
I've not even had time to unpack and it's straight to work.
You working with Rev Moore, then? Er no, instead of him.
So I got back from my holiday yesterday and there are these messages saying he's gone off on some spiritual retreat and I've got to fill in ASAP.
It's been a rush and a push, it has.
So, are you doing the wedding tomorrow, then? Yeah.
It's my first one ever.
Yeah, maybe don't mention that to the groom.
He's a bit on edge as it is.
Well, I am qualified.
You've not met Joe Penhale.
Just trust me on this.
- Oh! - Careful.
Your depth perception's altered.
You'll get used to it.
Next patient.
Go through.
What's all this? Tidy this up.
It looks like a jumble sale.
Hello, love.
Er, so I was in Australia for a holiday and I had a few problems.
I was told I'd need to check in with a GP when I got back here.
You had a deep vein thrombosis.
Apparently from the plane ride over.
I was only meant to be there for two weeks.
The whole thing was a complete disaster for a number of reasons.
Sleeve.
Ended up closer to a month, stuck in hospital, juggling all that trying to work out when I'm starting my curateship here.
Your blood pressure's high.
Yeah.
Tell me something I don't know.
Actually, I didn't know that.
You've also been prescribed Warfarin.
I'll need to monitor your blood while you're taking that.
- Are you practising? - Yes, of course.
I'm a certified medical practitioner.
No, I mean the Buddha statue you have over there.
Yeah, I understand.
I've heard it's one of the most popular ornaments to keep in the home.
I suppose that says a lot about who we are these days, religion as a statement of interior design rather than faith or belief.
Stop talking.
The er doctor in Australia said I'd need to be on Warfarin for four months.
- That can't be right.
- No.
Well, that's a relief.
More like six.
Your deep vein thrombosis is caused by a blood clot that's at risk of breaking loose and travelling to your lungs, causing a fatal pulmonary embolism.
It's very serious.
What are you doing? Something to remind me to keep calm and centred no matter what.
Back when I worked in the city, I had a few problems before.
I had to learn some coping mechanism.
All right.
Don't start doing it again.
And four bedrooms? Well, if we could get you an attic.
- Anything's possible.
- Next patient? Yeah.
And the important question.
What sort of price range would you be looking at? Are you the patient? Come through.
Can I I'll have to call you back.
What time's a good time? Erm yeah, lovely.
OK.
Oh.
Here you go.
Doctor's orders.
Oh.
He's an odd one, isn't he? He's got a strange idea of bedside manner.
The Doc is a very intelligent and conscientious man.
We're blessed to have him.
£8.
60, please.
No, of course, I I didn't mean Oh, you've got, erm What? Oh, right.
Yeah.
Matching collars.
Mine is for a genuine medical complaint.
No, of course.
Sorry.
I'm the new curate.
I didn't realise we were getting a woman.
Thanks, then.
It's only his first word.
It's not a big deal, really.
I mean, yes, it's the moment where you realise truly that your child is their own person.
Miss.
There's a worried looking man in the playground.
- Where? - Out of the way.
Be careful of the baby.
That's it.
Careful.
Careful.
- Stand clear.
- Martin.
Is everything OK? Yes, it's fine.
It's Thursday.
We meet for lunch on Thursdays.
Sorry, I totally forgot, I've just had so much on.
- It doesn't matter.
- It does.
I've been rota'd onto lunch duty today.
You'll have to go without me.
We'll do something later, though.
Yes, I can get some fish, if you like.
Actually, it's Joe and Janice's pre-wedding party this evening and I did sort of say we'd maybe go.
- Oh.
- You don't want to go, do you? - I don't mind if you want to.
- I don't really.
Anyway, you hate those sorts of things.
They'll be disappointed if you don't go.
Right.
So, sorry, now you do want to go to a party? I don't know.
What do you want to do? - Knew you'd start complaining.
- I'm not complaining.
- Joe expects us to be there.
- Right, so we are going? - Yes, I - Good.
I'll see you later.
I'll ring the babysitter.
Bye.
And then I'll say, "I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife" and I'll join your hands.
Sorry, it's just you keeping saying "I", but tomorrow, it'll be a real vicar, right? Well, no, it'll be me.
But you're not a real vicar.
I'm a curate.
Think of me as a vicar with learner plates on.
But I thought we were getting a proper person to do our wedding.
How many folks have you actually married? Why don't we head over to the vestry and talk about the two of you? Because that's what it's all about, isn't it? So how long have you two been together? - I'd say about seven.
- Eight.
Eight weeks.
Oh.
So it's a it's a whirlwind romance, then? It's a funny story.
We were out for fish and chips one night and Joe just asked me.
I was waiting on my cod and I said, "All right.
Why not?" But you've discussed the future what marriage means to both of you, whether you want children - No, thank you.
- As many as we can have.
I don't mean hundreds.
- Five or six.
- I work with children .
.
and it's screaming and crying and stuff coming out of both ends.
It is healthy to have differences.
Can we have it put in the marriage vows that we don't need to have children? The important thing is that you take this seriously.
Let marriage be held in honour among all.
Sorry, how many weddings have you done before? I'd rather we talk about you.
It is vital that you've thought through this decision.
We've both been married before.
Once.
Twice.
I'd say that's even more reason that you need to be sure.
Do you have any references? It's my first wedding, all right? But I am very capable.
I can assure you of that with all my heart.
Your nose is bleeding.
Hm? Oh, sorry, er it's er Ah.
Oh, dear, that's Oh it's just It's been a long week.
- So - Uh.
.
.
in your professional opinion, me and Janice here, and be honest - Brutally honest.
- .
.
we've both had heartbreak and misfortune, so it's really important to us.
Do you think we've got what it takes? Very, very, very, very good.
Well done.
Dug.
I've finally got these staff appraisal forms finished.
It's getting ridiculous, I barely do any teaching nowadays, it's all data analysis and record keeping.
- He spoke again, didn't he? - Yes.
What did he say? Erm I think it was "duck".
Maybe "dog".
That's twice I've missed it now.
- I'm sure it's not personal.
- I didn't think it was.
At least not until you mentioned it.
He's not even looking at me now.
He hasn't developed the cognitive capacity to know when he's being discussed yet.
Do you think he likes me? Who knows? I didn't like my mother.
Does it matter? Of course it matters! And he's not you.
Well, I'm sure he's very fond of you.
Maybe you should think about reducing your work load, if it's causing you stress.
Thanks.
We should think about going.
Right! You lot, I want you in here now! Start serving, Becky, and no mucking about like last week.
I got my eye on you.
Right.
Take a tray and mingle.
Go on, mingle.
Go on.
Take a tray.
Mingle.
Finished your best man speech yet? Didn't have to.
Joe decided to write it himself.
It's 15 pages long plus footnotes.
Only one more day then you're free.
- Yeah.
- Vodka and Coke, thanks.
Really? Al? Talk about low standards.
- Hm.
- This is whisky.
Straight whisky.
Dad.
Dad! Before you say something, Joe is paying for all the alcohol, but he hasn't been specific about what alcohol.
Aside from our whisky, what other drinks are available? Please tell me there's at least soft drinks, right? Well, there's water.
For the whisky.
You're unbelievable.
Al, why can't I get a beer at my own party? Yeah, it's just a mix up with the supplier, mate.
You're best man.
You're supposed to be on top of things.
OK.
Give me five or ten minutes and I'll get it sorted, Joe.
It's a total disaster.
Oh, it's not that bad.
Morwenna, I'm a policeman, I know this village, these people, inside and out, and I can tell you for a fact that not one of them drinks whisky.
- Bert.
- Yes, my lover? Same again, ta.
Easy on the water.
Maybe he said "dog".
- It was impossible to tell.
- James is very fond of him.
Maybe we should think about, I don't know, keeping him.
Him? What do you mean, the dog? I know you didn't grow up with pets, Martin, but I had a dog when I was younger and I've got a lot of good memories of it.
And he is always around.
So's Penhale but we don't have to adopt him.
Oh.
How's your hand? Oh, it's fine, there's no need to check it, Doc.
Do you realise that drinking strong alcohol whilst on painkillers is not only stupid - but incredibly dangerous? - It's not my fault.
- They're only serving whisky.
- Don't be ridiculous.
Take responsibility for your own health.
Here, you, take that.
Get me a glass of water and a small glass of white wine.
Two whiskies.
No, a glass of water and a small glass of white wine.
Just take the drink and stop being so fussy, yeah? You're coughing over everything! Wash all those off! If you're not well enough to come to work you should go home.
Reverend Moore isn't taking the ceremony? He's on a spiritual retreat.
Sorry.
It's just that's what he always says when he wants to nip away for a fishing holiday.
I thought everybody knew that.
I hold a very senior position in this church, and no one has informed me of these events.
Well, don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
Wonderful, isn't it? First they got to vote, then they got to drive.
Now they can even marry people.
That's proper progress, Sal.
They're only serving whisky.
Is that something to do with you? Hello to you, too, Martin.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
This whole thing seems to be run by your business associates.
Testing, testing.
Oh, God.
- That's funny.
- Get on with it, you plonker! That's not funny.
Janice and I would like to thank you all .
.
for coming tonight Give me that.
Sit there.
There's a chair there.
- .
.
to celebrate our - Sit down.
- Breathe calmly, calmly.
- .
.
big day .
.
to mark - Just keep it down.
- Calm down.
- Doc? - I'm with a patient! Doc, it's fine.
They're just clearing their throats, playing silly buggers.
Pay attention to the speech now.
I'm having a bloody heart attack! No, she's not.
She's not having a heart attack.
Calm down.
Just breathe.
She's not having a heart attack.
Agh, agh, agh Just keep your eyes on me, people.
- Eyes on me, people.
- Get off! Sit down.
Open your mouth.
Doc, please Morwenna, we need to get all these people to the surgery.
- Surgery's closed, though.
- Well, go and open it, then.
- Stop eating peanuts.
- I'll have those.
Calm.
Calmly.
In through the nose, out through the mouth.
When's the Doc gonna see me? I told you, he's seeing everybody one by one.
I could die.
Would you be happy then, eh? Would you? I didn't ask to come back to work.
Listen, the Doctor said that you are all stable now, so just take a breath and he will be with you ASAP.
Have you had any other symptoms? Same as my mates, Doc.
Tell me about them.
Well, there's Chloe, she's blonde, says it's natural, - but hello, roots.
- Tell me about the symptoms.
Oh.
Bit of a sore throat, chest pain, comes and goes, hurts when I cough.
That last one, that was huge.
Can I get a sick note? And this just started today? Didn't you ask my mates the same question? Yes, and now I'm asking you.
Started this morning.
So sick note, yeah? Otherwise Bert'll try and stiff us.
We did that oyster festival for him the other day, he's still not coughed up, plus he got mad at us for, you know.
No, I don't know.
What does that mean? He's doing it to promote his horrible whisky.
Couldn't make me drink it, but then he's, "That's coming out of your wages.
" "It's only one bottle, mate.
" Tight-fisted git.
And you were all drinking from the same bottle? Yeah, but I'm still not paying for it.
Was everybody drinking from that bottle working tonight? Yeah.
Who else you going get? Slave wages, I said.
Then he said slaves didn't get wages.
What are you doing down there? Quiet! If you were working at the oyster festival earlier this week, put your hand in the air.
Keep your hand in the air if you also shared from a bottle of whisky with this girl.
Right.
It's my opinion you've all contracted Bornholm disease.
It's spread by respiratory droplets, infecting food and drink and bottles.
You can put your hands down now.
None of us care what we've got.
Are we gonna die, or what? Well, you really should care, you know.
Because of your complete lack of hygiene, you've infected one another with a virus.
Luckily for you, if it is Bornholm disease, it clears up in a week without treatment.
But you all need to stay at home to avoid infecting anyone else.
- We're bridesmaids tomorrow.
- I am the photographer - for the wedding, yeah? - I really don't care.
God knows how many people you infected today.
Now go home and stay indoors.
I'll be calling your parents to make sure they don't let you out.
Great for them on their wedding day! - Whatever! - Ridiculous! - What are you doing here? - You told me to come here.
Well, go home, then.
- Kind of feels like a bad omen.
- No, it's not.
It's just an unexplained situation where a group of people have collapsed with symptoms similar to that of a heart attack.
That's all.
Don't worry.
Where did everybody go? Gonna need you to step up your game tomorrow.
So why are you trying to force our whisky on people? - Special promotion.
- Bert.
I'm fairly sure I'm not an idiot so I'd appreciate your not treating me like one.
You promised me I was buying into a legitimate business.
It is legitimate.
Then you can provide me with some current sales figures.
Of course I can.
May take a few days to collate the figures, though.
No, Bert.
Tomorrow.
James.
Speak to Mummy.
Come on, James.
Speak to Mummy.
Say "duck".
Say "duck".
Duck.
No? OK.
James, say "doggy".
A doggy.
Say "doggy".
Dog.
Woof, woof! Woof! Dog.
Dog.
What on earth are you doing with that dog? I just wanted to give James a little a little nudge.
Why? His developmental process is perfectly normal.
Well, maybe we have different ideas of what normal is.
Martin, we both had absentee parents.
Sometimes I worry we'll end up repeating that pattern.
Why were you waving a dog? Because Joe Penhale got to hear his first word.
I just feel like I missed out.
I should get ready for work.
Banana.
He's not had it yet.
Please will you give it to him? You, out of here.
Go on, shoo! Shoo, shoo! Martin, what happened with those girls yesterday? They'll get better.
It was Bornholm disease.
Of course, yes.
An enterovirus.
Makes sense.
And how are things at home? They're fine.
You sound uncertain.
- Please don't analyse me.
- I wasn't.
I was showing concern.
Louisa missed James's first word and, erm Well, she's finding it, erm The post therapy period can be difficult.
People grow reliant on the process, having problems to focus on.
It can be a period of transition, adjusting her view of the world and her place in it.
Right, well, that's something to look forward to, isn't it? Oh, no.
No, no.
Get away! Go away! Disgusting.
Sorry, Doc, I'll just be a minute.
What the hell are you doing? Sorry, Doc, I can't help it, I got caught short.
Oh, no, no, no! I don't think I'll make it inside, Doc.
- No, just go! - Oh, thank you.
No, go inside! Oh.
Oh.
Ah.
Wait.
Wait there.
Wait.
I really can't.
Ah In that.
No, no, no, in the lavatory! - Is he all right? - He's an idiot.
It's a casserole.
Oh, thank you.
I'll be wanting the dish back when you're done.
You didn't have to do this.
Well, as we're working together, it's important we get along.
Just you here alone, then, is it? Er yeah.
Oh.
Cos I remember the estate agent, Mrs Trappett, saying that a nice young couple were moving in.
Did something happen, then? I need to get on, I've got a lot to unpack.
As you wish.
It's quite a big place, though, isn't it, for just one? - Thanks again.
- Mmhm.
Bye.
Sorry, Doc.
I forgot to fill the sample thingy the first time and obviously had to wait for the pipes to refill as it were.
On the examination table, please.
I've got to go get ready for my wedding.
You're clearly in great discomfort and were urinating in my garden.
Get on the examination table.
Take off your belt, undo the top of your trousers.
- Does this hurt? - No.
I told you, Doc, you're fussing about nothing, I've just pushed myself too hard at the gym, that's all.
- Does this hurt? - Argh! OK, let go.
Let go.
How long have you had that pain? A few days.
And how often are you passing water? - Bit personal.
- I'm a doctor.
Every couple of hours.
Sometimes more.
Is it Is it serious? I'm gonna have to tell Janice before I go down the aisle.
It's like when you buy a second-hand car.
If there's something wrong, they have to tell you.
That's the law.
The dipstick shows there's blood in your urine.
Oh, God.
It could indicate nephrolithiasis.
- That'd be my best guess.
- I can't believe it.
It's kidney stones.
Right.
Doc, couldn't you have just said that? Because, frankly, necro - Nephrolithiasis.
- .
.
sounds terrifying.
You'll need surgery, or laser treatment on the stones, or you could pass them naturally.
I'll go for natural.
Sounds best.
They're only stones.
I'll prescribe you some painkillers.
Actually, Doc, I've heard about people getting addicted to them.
Couldn't I have something off the shelf? No, it wouldn't be strong enough.
It can be incredibly painful.
And drink plenty of fluids.
What do you mean? No bridesmaids at all? Doctor's orders.
So, who's gonna take photos? Well, I can take them.
Don't worry.
OK, hold still.
So, what time are your parents arriving? I sort of didn't tell them, because I've been married twice before and they keep saying I don't think things through.
You have thought this through, though, right? Well yeah.
It's just with everything going wrong last night and now the bridesmaids being cancelled .
.
it feels like a sign.
Well, anything can be a sign, if you want it to be.
OK.
You're done.
I do look amazing, though.
- Sorry - Oh! .
.
if I upset you earlier.
No, you didn't.
It's fine.
Good, because I know weddings can be stressful.
Mm.
Oh, Reverend Moore is an old hand.
Now, he makes it look easy.
Watch it! Does he not know we're going to the wedding? Of course he would.
Where are you going? I told you to stay at home.
- We're going - What? I'm the bleedin' photographer.
- We're bridesmaids.
- None of this matters.
You are all extremely infectious.
Go home.
There's more of us than there is of you.
You can't stop us, Doc, can you? I can report you to the environmental health officer.
If your symptoms get worse, contact the surgery.
Go home and stay there.
And I will be checking.
This is ridiculous! I spent four hours doing my hair, Doc.
Thanks! - What a joke! - Better now? Yes.
Good morning, ladies.
- Have you got the ring? - Course I have.
Don't worry, everything's going to be Don't say it.
You'll jinx it.
- Hello.
- Hello, there.
On the left.
So we've sold nothing in the past three weeks but have continued to produce stock? Yes.
Which puts us on the edge of collapse, doesn't it? Maybe we should talk about this after the wedding.
Oh, we will.
Believe me.
You know, we've no idea if it's been housetrained and the chances are it's riddled with disease.
Endless studies show that children who grow up around pets, like I did, have a greater cognitive development.
And that's just a fact.
There are certain studies, yes.
I'm not entirely sure they're endless.
Is this why you've been unhappy recently? - Because you want a dog? - No.
I've not been unhappy, Martin.
Just cos you don't want a dog doesn't mean James is the same.
Oh, you look nice, Joe.
Did you pick up those painkillers? Doc, do me a favour.
It's my wedding.
Take off the stethoscope and try and enjoy yourself.
I'm not an idiot, you know.
After you.
Let's go through.
Are you OK? Maybe it's just nerves.
And Joe is lovely and sweet.
It's just I don't know.
How did you decide about Al? Well, I'm not marrying Al, I'm just going out.
And we were friends for a long time before that.
And he always dates the Doc's receptionists so I suppose it was a no-brainer.
Cheers, babe.
It's different for me.
I don't want to hurt Joe.
You're gonna hurt him a lot more if you change your mind in a few months' time.
I think I need to speak to him.
Mind your dress.
You can get a refund on that.
(Mrs T) - Hi.
- Hi.
Erm, Joe, listen In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit Sorry, just one sec.
.
.
we have come together to witness the marriage of Joseph William Penhale and Janice Alice Catherine Kate Bone, and pray for God's blessing on them Sorry, is there any chance you could sort of - Go faster.
Yes, please.
- What? .
.
and to shape their joy and celebrate their love.
Marriage is a gift of God in creation Could you maybe fast forward a bit? - Fast forward? - No one's really interested in all the God stuff, it's the vows they came to hear, so just skip on a bit, get to the good stuff.
I'm going to perform the ceremony properly.
It would be good to take a moment It doesn't matter, just keep on going.
Marriage is a gift of God in creation.
- You've said that already.
- It is given that as man and woman grow together in love and trust - .
.
they shall be united.
- No.
Sorry.
Just one minute.
Don't worry, I think I know what it is.
- I need to go and tell him.
- Are you sure? What's happening? Janice is thinking of calling off the wedding.
What? No.
No, you can't, because he'll blame me.
- I'll never hear the end of it.
- It's the best time.
- Get him nice and quiet.
- Try not to make it hurt any more than it has to.
- Ow, ow! - How are you getting on? No.
Doc, it really hurts.
You didn't get the painkillers, did you? I didn't want to be all smacked up on painkillers - on my wedding day.
- Then you're an idiot.
I know that now, Doc.
So, erm normal service will be resumed in a few minutes, so just talk amongst yourselves.
Try not to strain.
Then stop looking at me.
Ohh! - Right.
I'm looking away now.
- Ow, ow! Ohh! Sorry about that.
Right.
Normal service is resumed.
Let the wedding service commence.
- Mate - Trying to have a wedding here in case you hadn't noticed.
From the top.
- No.
- Good point.
No need to do the boring bit.
From the middle.
Joe - Al, seize the phone.
- I told you to stay at home! - I'm the official photographer.
- Go home now and stay there! Doc.
Please.
Trying to have a wedding here.
- Maybe we shouldn't.
- Look, I understand.
But you can't blame her, it's her first wedding, after all.
- This is not my fault.
- No, sure, I'm just I imagine someone with a bit more experience would know how to make things go a bit smoother.
It's you, making a mockery of this ceremony.
Marriage is serious.
Love is serious, but you're treating it all like some joke.
We could just go to the vows if you want.
I want you to be quiet and listen for once.
Neither of you have thought this through.
You are showing utter contempt for the order of service, and she, well, she's clearly having second thoughts.
No, she's not.
Are you? I'm sorry.
You could have both had a serious discussion about this beforehand, like I suggested.
But no, not you two.
No, it's better to wait till the service is under way before you examine your relationship! You know, you're the kind of people who wait until .
.
until someone has flown halfway round the bloody world before you tell them it's over.
That's a little bit unprofessional.
Something's the matter with her.
Miss Edwards? And I thought I could cope.
I thought I could manage.
Miss Edwards, can I have a word? No.
No.
They wanted a wedding.
They're gonna get a wedding.
They are getting married whether they like it or not.
Now start playing.
Start playing! Back to your places, come on, come on! Penhale, can you put pressure on that? Give me my hand back.
She's got no pulse.
Let me listen.
Right, she's stopped breathing.
- Defibrillator? - Yeah, it's in the car.
- I'll get it, and your bag.
- Thank you.
- Get outside! - Yes, come on.
Everyone out.
- Just let me through.
- Sal, Sal, come on.
It looks like a myocardial infarction, Doc.
Oh, my.
Oh.
Got it.
Her heart's beating again, but it's faint.
Where's my bag? - Here.
- There's a lot of blood, Doc.
Yes.
The Warfarin stopped it clotting properly.
- Leave that alone.
- On the case, Doc.
- I'm right by your side.
- Don't touch anything.
Right.
Press down.
I'll give her a vitamin K injection to reverse the effects of the Warfarin.
I feel duty-bound to tell you, Doctor, that the patient has been taking drugs.
I saw her popping pills earlier.
And also she called you odd.
Best do what the Doc says.
Come on, Sal.
Come on.
Miss Edwards, what tablets have you been taking? Miss Edwards.
I just needed something to get me through this month.
He already had a new girlfriend.
All that way to get my heart ripped out.
I was supposed to be married next month.
Yes, but what have you taken? I got them in Australia.
- Ven Ven something.
- Venlafaxine? Yes, supposed to help with depression and anxiety and And when taken in conjunction with Warfarin can cause psychosis and slurred speech, and an arrhythmic heart beat.
So, Doc, just to check, will she be able to continue the wedding? For the last time, go home! Ruth, I know I've made a little bit of a mess of things and you probably want to pull out of our business deal.
A partnership requires a degree of trust and honesty, both of which seem to be in short supply.
This is all I've got in my life.
Emotional blackmail won't help.
No, I mean, I will fight to the last breath to make this business work.
I know I'm not perfect, but I believe that we have something.
I just need a little more time.
One month.
I was thinking more like six or seven.
One month.
Right.
No problem.
What? Hang on.
What? - Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
I didn't think I could cope.
But I know that's not true now.
But everything is a test, isn't it? And that's how He works.
And if I can survive that policeman, I can survive anything.
Blessed is the one - Right, off you go.
- .
.
who perseveres under trial.
James, Chapter One, Verse 12.
Well, at least Joe managed to achieve something positive today in a roundabout way.
- Do you think he'll be OK? - Why? From the looks of things, he's just been jilted at the altar.
Hi.
We just want different things in life.
I want a family.
Kids.
I know, five or six.
I feel like we rushed into this, Joe.
I'm so sorry, I really am.
It's fine.
I'm good.
(Nighty night.
Good boy.
) (Is he asleep?) (Yeah, kind of.
) I think we should, erm keep the dog.
For a trial period, providing it's quarantined and deloused and wormed and castrated.
Oh, that's wonderful.
But why? - Because you asked me.
- But it's a dog, Martin.
It's a harbinger of pestilence and disease.
Mm.
But you've seemed frustrated lately and er I think it might help.
The problem isn't the dog, Martin.
It's my work.
It's Oh, it's changed, and it doesn't help I keep thinking that I should be around more for James.
So we don't need the dog, then? No, no, we're having the dog.
On a trial period with strict parameters.
For a trial period with strict parameters.
Dog.
Martin, I think I know what he's saying.
He's saying "dog".
Did you say, "dog"? Now say, "Mummy".
Say, "Mummy".
Are you cleaning yourself properly now? How is your personal hygiene routine? I am not a drug addict.
Which is exactly what one of them would say.
- Sorry, am I early? - Yes.
This is from your Dr.
Ellingham.
- It hurts! - It really does.
I have no idea what my father saw in such a place.