Duck Dynasty (2012) s08e01 Episode Script

1 - This place is gorgeous.
- I love this place.
Look at all this stuff.
What are you gonna get them, Si? Good grief.
Fifteen dollars for a glass bell.
First time you hit it, it's gone.
Busted.
Piece of junk.
I'm so proud to announce that my baby John Luke recently got engaged.
I want to get him like a whole bedroom suit.
They got some beautiful ones.
Aw, man it's so much to see.
And to celebrate we're throwing him and his fiancé Mary Kate a big couples shower.
All right, here it is.
Right here.
Perfect gift.
Horns, look at that.
I don't think they need any of those horns.
This drinking mug.
It's a special time for the whole family and everyone's getting involved.
Get him that rawhide.
That's got Mary Kate written all over it.
That's creepy.
Even Si.
OK to the bedding side.
- Get that guard dog.
- Si.
- Buy this swan.
- Si.
- Look here.
What about a set of birds? - Si, come on.
Shopping with him can be a bit of a challenge.
Oh, this is it.
What do you think Sadie? That's really cute.
It looks like Mary Kate.
It does.
Doesn't it? I love it.
It's really pretty.
That's too little.
If she's going to go that way, hey, get 'em the bunk beds.
Si, this is the floor model.
We're getting them a king size.
King size? They're kids.
Get them bunk beds.
That way they can grow up Don't you need to go find them something to buy? Well, I mean, yeah.
You can check the registry at the front.
I've already checked it.
They're dreaming what they got in there.
OK.
- Si, I need to help you find a gift.
- All right, well lets go find me a gift.
Thank you.
Make sure you don't get goose down.
When they run out of goose down they put pigeon feathers and seagulls sometimes.
- OK? - OK.
That's a rip off.
Mary Kate I'm out of girly aprons but you can use Jep's apron.
- Is that OK? - Yeah, works for me.
Mary Kate, I'm glad you're going to be the next addition to the Robertson clan.
What better way to start, honey, than to learn how to cook my famous crawfish étoufée.
I'm excited.
I like to cook.
In this family, food is extremely important.
If you're a Robertson woman and you don't know how to cook you're going to be ridiculed and teased for the rest of your life.
How long have y'all been dating, you and John Luke? Almost a year.
We're here to make sure Mary Kate gets a fighting chance.
We're going to take his tail off.
This is kind of like marriage.
- And look see this part right here? - Ooh, gross.
That's basically the crap in your marriage.
Get rid of the crap.
Got it.
I just hope Phil doesn't scare her off before they actually tie the knot.
- You're pretty good at that.
- Thank you.
Mary Kate, was John Luke nervous when he asked you? He was.
He was a little shakey.
Aw.
Now, this was Jep's line.
We were doing a Bible study at Phil and Kay's house by ourself, and he just looked at me and said this is ridiculous.
I was like, "What?" "I think we should just get married.
" And I was like, "OK.
" Being married to a Robertson man is not always romantic.
That was it.
And two weeks later we were married.
- Two weeks later? - Two weeks later.
But it is always an adventure.
Well Jase did kind of ask me.
"Well you're gonna marry me aren't yah? A little cocky there.
That sounds like Jase, I'm not going to lie.
And I said yeah.
And that was it.
And the truth is romance can be nice, but it does not compare with the truly committed and loving life-long marriage with the man you love.
Got to always keep the big picture in mind, and thank goodness Miss Kay did that when she was married to Phil years ago.
Oh, she's a patient woman - Yes, she is.
- Mary Kay.
But I've looked at John Luke and he's a better young man than I was when I was his age, no doubt about it.
You chose wisely, I think, Mary Kate.
John Luke is a good boy.
Yeah he is.
John Luke, look away.
A happy Gilmore.
You don't want to see this.
Ugly.
Uh-huh.
Now I'm ready.
Oh! Well, that's a big swing for not much carry.
All right, me and John Luke against y'all.
Well, it's official my son is on his way to becoming a married man.
And who better to serve as a welcoming committee than me and my brothers.
There's a wolf down in you.
You got to let him out.
That's why I have a wolf head cover.
And between the three of us, we should be able to show him how much fun us married guys can have.
All right, John Luke, line it up.
Just make good contact.
Anytime you're ready.
Unleash the wolf.
- Uh-oh.
- Ooh.
All right, don't count that, that was a warm up.
Plus the boy could use some work on his golf game.
Uh-oh.
He drop kicked it right down the middle.
You got to do what you got to do to get in the middle.
All right, John Luke, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the most nervous, how nervous are you? One, two maybe.
No.
I say you're a nine.
- Hmm.
- It's all right to be nervous.
- Talking about golf right? - No we're talking about marriage.
Really, John Luke, marriage is about surfing.
- Oh, good grief.
- Surfing.
The water represents life and the dangers it poses, where as your lady friend is the board.
You got to keep on top of her and ease her along.
That's deep.
As deep as the ocean.
Jep, you don't even surf.
Yeah I do.
I surfed in Hawaii.
One time? Yes.
Jessica was a lot better at it than I was.
Mary Kate, I'm curious.
Did John Luke go and ask your dad for your hand? - He did.
- He did? He did.
He went several weeks before he proposed.
That's how I trained him.
Oh, please, Jason didn't even know about that.
He had no clue so I told him he had to ask my dad for my hand in marriage.
He didn't even know what hand in marriage was.
I married into the Robertson family almost 25 years ago.
And back, then things were a little harder for this family.
We didn't eat this well when we were first married.
We weren't as blessed as we are now.
We ate a lot of fried potatoes.
They were cheap and they are good.
But even through all our struggles, I can say that I have been very blessed by being part of such a loving family.
I actually called Miss Kay one time, crying, and she kept asking me what was wrong.
I didn't want to tell her that I was mad at her son.
But I finally came out and did it and she asked me why and I told her the whole argument and she agreed with me.
I knew right then I had married to the right family.
There you go.
Been there and done that too.
Now that Mary Kate's becoming a Robertson she is in for a wild ride.
So Mary Kate, welcome to the Robertson clan.
I'm excited to be joining it.
- I'm really thankful for y'all.
- Aww.
All right lets go get ready for the shower.
My hands are stinky.
Look at this.
Here's one right here.
Si, you don't even know what's in there.
I know.
Look if I don't know what's in there, it will definitely be a surprise for Mary Kate and John Luke.
Good grief.
Hey, look if we're shopping for newlyweds, hey, we're shopping in the wrong store.
Look, that's what I'm going to get for them, right there.
Now that would be a better wedding gift than a shower gift.
What do you mean? I got to buy them two gifts? - Sure.
- Forget that.
Look they don't need a bunch of fancy dishes and decoration, OK.
Look, they're just kids.
Oh, put that up before you break it.
Look they need something practical.
OK like a phone book so they can get jobs.
I got it Kay, I got it.
Look, "John Luke and Mary Kate.
" Put it on top of their house.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Si.
- What? "Please ask for assistance with letters.
" All right you're going to assist me, OK? What? I got it figured out.
I'll use this oar, and look, I'll knock it off and you catch it.
- Let me see what these things cost.
- All right, hold it.
I can get it.
- Oh my goodness.
- What? They're $50 dollars a piece.
They're what? Fifty dollars a piece.
No.
Not for that price.
Maybe they'll go on sale one day.
No I know the perfect thing to get them and it won't cost that much.
The squat position.
Jep, that's, uh that's embarrassing.
- I got to see my line.
- John Luke? Do not see her from now until the wedding day.
I didn't see Missy for three months.
- What does that have to do with golf? - It builds anticipation.
If it's more exciting that your wife doesn't see you, then you may have a problem.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa Jep.
That didn't count you were talking.
There's no malignance just like marriage.
Mm-hm.
Well I thought this golfing trip would be good for John Luke, but clearly, I totally underestimated the amount of stupid advice my brothers would be giving.
All right John Luke keep your head down.
Don't keep your head down.
If the poor kid wasn't nervous about getting married before, he definitely is now.
If there's anything that you don't like about her Pipe down.
it's going to get ten times worse.
I know they mean well, but there's a fine line between helpful tips It's all in the hips and marriage is the same thing.
It's all in the hips.
Jep.
And way too much information.
My honeymoon night was a bit like a biology experiment.
- Ooh.
- Why did you put that in his head? Did y'all dissect frogs? And they crossed that line about ten holes ago.
- Jess would be taking a bath.
- Jep.
- You put on R.
Kelly's "Bump N' Grind.
" - Jep.
- Sensual oils.
- Jep, shut up.
- That's how you have kids.
- Oh, my god.
The poor kid's so overwhelmed with confusing advice You do the opposite of what you think which is a good idea in marriage.
it's throwing his golf game totally off.
Oh, crap.
- Ew.
- Uh oh.
All right.
Watch out.
- OK.
- OK.
John Luke! You know what this reminds me of.
Jase, shut up with the advice.
- Marriage.
- Oh, crap.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Oh my goodness.
This is awesome.
- Do you like it? - Thank y'all.
- You're welcome.
- It's so beautiful.
- Isn't this exciting? - I can't believe it.
- I know I can't either.
- It's crazy.
- I know.
After a lot of planning and preparations the time has finally come to celebrate John Luke and Mary Kate's engagement.
Can you believe your baby boy is getting married? - No.
I can't believe it.
- Next comes babies.
No, no, no, don't rush that.
Don't rush that.
Hey I'll take some grandbabies.
I am just overwhelmed by how generous and supportive the entire family's been.
It's crazy.
I can't believe we're there.
You're going to cry.
I'm going to cry.
Yeah, I know I want to look at all these pictures and like take it all in.
After watching our kids grow up together I think Missy and Jess really understand exactly what I'm feeling today, and I'm happy that we're sharing it together.
The last big wedding we had was Phil and Kay's.
Do you remember how fun that was? Kay, wasn't that fun? Mm-hm.
We did your vow renewal and you renewed your vows.
Mm.
Good isn't it? - It was beautiful.
I love that.
- Mm-hm.
- Don't you love it.
- Hey.
Everybody.
- Hey, Si.
- Oh, Si.
All right, where do we put these gifts? Put it at this table.
This is your gift? I mean.
- Is that a trash bag? - No.
- A trash bag you got this out of the - That is not a trash bag.
That's a brown paper bag that you carry groceries home in.
Kay what are you eating over there? Salsa and chips and crab cakes.
All kind of good stuff.
All right, boys.
I worked up a hunger.
Look the best thing about parties, OK, is the food.
- Don't double dip.
- Double dip watch.
Look, I don't care who's birthday it is or whatever we're celebrating, it's about the food.
Can't get it in your beard if you wanted to.
Look.
I'm eating here.
As long as there's plenty of snacks, hey, I'll be there.
Si your beard is tinted orange.
That's because I'm hot.
OK.
I'm restraining myself from drinking this.
It's just good salsa though.
Look, but I will be busy eating, so, hey, don't try to talk to me.
Si, you might better clean up that beard.
You're not going to make a very good impression on Mary Kate's family.
What you see is what you get.
You know, hey, welcome to the family, darling.
- Oh, hey.
- Oh, there's the bride.
I'm so excited.
Let me see that baby.
How are you? - Good.
How are you doing? - Welcome.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
Hey there, buddy.
Oh! After John Luke and Mary Kate got engaged I've had the pleasure of spending more time with Mary Kate's family.
Willie just texted.
He said they should be here any minute.
So let's go ahead and eat and they'll get here when they get here.
- So dig in.
- The food looks so good.
Where's the knife for the tenderloin? Mary Kate is so sweet, and once you meet her family you see why.
- All right, boys, here we go.
- What you been cutting with that.
Hey, I ain't cutting nothing with it.
It's clean.
I just sharpened it.
All right, I'll leave my knife up there, y'all can cut it with that.
And now that they're officially going to be joining our family, it's time that they get to know the rest of the Robertson's.
Once they all get here that is.
Where's John Luke? They're golfing so they're not going to be on time.
That's one thing you have to learn about being a Robertson woman, is you always wait on the Robertson man.
Amen to that.
They'll show up in the nick of time, just like Jase did with Cole's birth.
I mean barely made it.
Remember that Kay? Yeah, I drove the car, and Nascar has nothing on me.
Hello.
Speak of the devil.
Thanks for waiting on us.
We know you'd wait on us.
- I got you a plate babe.
- Are y'all ready to open presents? - Yeah.
- Amen to that.
When you get married you quickly learn that you're not just marrying one person, you're marrying the entire family.
- Ooh.
- That's from me and Dad.
- I love it.
- Oh.
It's a Moroccan wedding blanket.
It's for good luck.
All right, let's get them Moroccan.
So it's great to have this time for our family and Mary Kate's family to get to know each other a little better.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Hey Korie wanted to know what those are for.
- Baking.
- Thank you, Confucius.
In the spirit of getting to know each other we'll lay it all out on the table.
Y'all are going to need that.
Thanks.
They're newlyweds.
Things are fixing to get hot around here.
- Aww! - Hey.
Crazy Uncle and all.
OK, that's it.
That's all the presents.
- Thank you.
- All right, thank you.
All right, let's eat.
Think Jess has something planned for us.
Everybody, I have a surprise.
- Is it dinner? - It's going to be fun.
Everybody I have a surprise.
We're going to play the newlywed game! Awesome.
Well, OK then, I'll volunteer to be the host of it.
OK, Si is going to ask you a question.
Sometimes it's about the woman, sometimes its about the man.
But your answers are supposed to be the same.
Yours has to match what Missy's would say, Missy has to match with yours and you get one point.
And at the end, we'll see who has the most points.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! You know, hey, look, game show, it runs in my blood.
If your husband was an animal what animal would he be? Look there's certain qualities you must possess, OK, to be a game show host.
Now wait a minute.
So I was - Just a simple question.
- Can we ask like? Just a simple, simple question.
You got to have the personality.
I give you an example if my wife was here she would put Bengal tiger.
You got to be handsome.
Ooh.
Check.
I said a horse.
- Why a horse? - OK.
A very thin horse.
You can't be afraid to call contestants out when they're wrong.
- Buck deer.
- Wrong.
Lion, king of the jungle.
It don't matter how you're wrong you're just wrong.
Check.
Bong! Bon! Wrong! Bong! Wrong! Ding ding.
Bong! Wrong! Boo yah! Bong! Bong! Bong! Move over Pat Sajak, OK.
There's a new host in town.
All right, here's a question.
If your husband was a superhero, what would be his super power? Oh.
He's a superhero.
So he's got to have a super power.
- This is hard.
- You're on the clock again.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
All right we ready? No.
All right, Phil and Kay.
Oh, I said he can fly me anywhere, like my favorite shoe store.
It's hard to believe our whole family started with just Kay and Phil.
All right, Willie and Korie.
Jedi mind tricks.
Jedi mind tricks? Over the years our family has definitely had its ups and downs.
This is kind of similar.
Talk to animals.
What? - What if you communicated with animals? - Why didn't I think of that? But Kay and Phil stuck it out and showed their sons how real love, commitment and forgiveness works.
I said flying.
Flying, oh.
Dah-dah! I'd like to be able to fly.
We both put "flying".
Now after all these years I'm proud to see that my son is honoring the same values that held our family together: Love and commitment, and lots of laughs too.
Bonk! Correct! All right, look here, final question.
And hey, hey, this is a game changer here, folks.
Where did you first kiss? You better know this, buddy.
And we'll start with Miss Kay and Phil.
In the car at the Home Made after a football game.
Home Made would be the ice cream joint.
Eat ice cream, kiss, eat ice cream, kiss.
Now what did you put? Home Made.
Five points! It's bittersweet watching your son grow up but I feel so fortunate that John Luke has grown up in such a big loving family with so many happy couples.
All right, Jason and Missy.
Behind our youth minister's house.
Behind youth minister's house.
I know it's a crazy question, but what are you doing - behind the guys house? - Well - We were kissing.
- Kissing.
I look around at all the faces and see all the love and support for John Luke and Mary Kate today.
Moving onto the newlyweds.
My house.
- Her house.
- Her house.
Is that when I caught y'all? Not that It wasn't that time.
And I know he's going to have a wonderful marriage too.
It's a good thing these two are getting married.
So we have two winners: John Luke and Mary Kate and Bruce and Sherri.
All right let's eat.
How about some of my famous étoufée? Can I get a witness, Si? Yes, amen.
- All right! - All right! All right, before we hit this crawfish étoufée, John Luke, why don't you offer a good prayer for us there.
Yes sir.
Lord, thank you for all these blessings.
Lord we ask for your help with our marriage for the rest of our lives and we thank you for this food.
- In Christ's name, amen.
- Amen.
All right, boys, dig in.
It was 23 years ago when I married the girl of my dreams and we started our wild and crazy journey together.
And now that my son John Luke is about to start his own journey with the girl of his dreams, it's only natural to wonder what advice you can give to help prepare them for it.
But the truth is, when your child finds the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, the best gift you can give him is your love and support.
You can throw them parties and shower them with gifts, and you can give them all the marriage advice in the world.
But none of it is going to prepare them for the journey to come, not even a fire extinguisher.
John Luke, you know what étoufée reminds me of? - Don't say marriage.
- Marriage.
Good grief.