Black-ish (2014) s08e02 Episode Script

1 In America, talent rises to the top.
In spite of a system set up to keep us down, the special ones are undeniable.
And it doesn't take long to let the world know they've outgrown their surroundings.
Then it's time for The Show.
After years of hard work and toil, I finally got my call up from Urban to General Marketing.
The spot with the biggest budgets and the broadest reach.
Finally, I've got my seat at the table.
You're in my seat.
Oh! My My bad, my bad.
Okay, there you are.
I'll just move down here to this one That's Erica's seat.
Yes, Erica.
Okay, is Uh, is Uh, is, uh, you know, this one cool before I Okay.
Cool.
All right.
My seat at the table.
08x02 - The Natural - Hey, Dre.
- Hey.
Good to see you settling in.
Uh, everyone's pretty loose about the seating around here except for James.
He won't share his chair or his urine, no matter how badly your son needs it for his parole officer.
Everybody, uh, I'd like you to welcome Dre Johnson.
We just promoted him from Urban.
Hey, what's up? "What's up?" Oh, you can take the man out of Urban, can't take Urban out of the man, huh? Now, this guy's always got a seat at the table.
Griffin Cameron-Hopkins.
He had his first national commercial before he turned 21.
What kind of guys gets to have national commercials that young? Let's just say they don't look like me.
And they get labeled "eccentric" instead of crazy.
Morning, Griffin.
Namaste.
Everybody, I'd like to make an announcement.
This is going to be our team that's gonna be handling the Hyundai IONIQ 5 account for the Super Bowl.
The Super Bowl? The Super Bowl?! Oh, hell, yeah! Mama, we made it! First one, huh? Uh, no.
Please.
I'm just hyped about the electrification of America's roadways.
I mean, whoo! - Outstanding, Dre.
- Mm.
That's the spirit.
Now, equally as important, does anyone here have a boat crash attorney? Not boat-to-boat, but boat-to-marine hospital.
Anybody? Nobody, huh? Yeah.
I don't see it, Grandma.
You telling me this carrot isn't the spitting image of Judge Joe Mathis? - Mm - Mm.
Mm.
Hey, what's up, guys? Ooh! Is that a new necklace? Nate Capadouca gave it to her.
He's 6'1", his parents let him live in the guest house, and every teacher fears him.
Ah.
He likes Diane.
That is so sweet.
- It is, isn't it? - Uh-huh.
- Hm.
- Wait, Diane! Why did you put that in the trash?! Come on, Mom, it's obvious that it came out - of a gumball machine.
- What? My American Girl doll had nicer jewelry than that.
That's right, never lower your standards, baby.
Accept a cheap necklace today, tomorrow, he's putting your name on a business loan for his record label.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whatever happened to "It's the thought that counts"? You know, back when I used to live on the commune, if I had a crush on a boy, I would make him a potato doll.
That way, he knew that I liked him and that I could keep him alive in a famine.
See, Mom is right.
The material gift isn't important.
And besides, women these days, they don't care about diamonds They want something that comes from the heart.
- Right? - Exactly.
What do you think of Nate? Well, I think it's a shame that his gift game is trash because he's actually kind of cute.
Baby, find you an ugly man who's ready to spend the coin! Oh, that's what Ms.
Harrelson did, and now she doesn't have to teach math anymore.
See, see, see? That's what I'm talking about.
Don't listen to your grandmother or your brother.
If you think you like Nate, then I think you should give him a chance.
I guess I can go on one date.
Whoo! I love it.
You're not gonna regret it.
I have a feeling you're gonna have a really good time, and that he might surprise you.
All right, well, how about you let Grandma give you some cash? In case you want something more than water with your meal.
Don't hang out with scrubs.
- I'm trying to teach you, little girl.
- It's a little hot.
After years of struggling to make it to the top, it was finally my time to shine.
Play ball! We could do a talking lemur.
I like it.
Put it on the board.
Okay, I've got something.
How about we parody the idea of a Super Bowl ad? The Hyundai IONIQ 5 on a bag of corn chips.
Then the IONIQ 5 as a soda can on the beach.
And then we land on two customers, all right, who are checking their charging SUV as they stand in line and get this at an action film starring the Hyundai IONIQ 5.
And the tagline says, "It's Electric.
" Boom.
Anybody got anything else? Strike! Eh.
What about a pair of friends planning to take a trip in their new SUV? Board it.
Board that? Uh, okay, all right, guys, uh, you know what, maybe I didn't explain it quite right No, we heard.
Parody ad.
Strike two! What else are we thinking? The ad should be nothing more than a single plant just pushing its way through the concrete.
Then, as time passes, more plants push their way through the concrete until you can't even see the concrete.
Just a lush, verdant landscape.
Wow.
Inspired.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
And the voiceover says, "Regenerate with Hyundai.
" A little on the nose.
Strike three! My first at bat went worse than 50 Cent's first pitch.
Aaah! Oh, God! The soundtrack should be Philip Glass' "Rubric" from "Glassworks.
" What? Okay, so Griffin's got some talent, but I've got talent, too, and nobody outworks me.
Hard work is what got me here.
It's what's going to keep me here.
They're not ready for this.
Okay, and then we pull out, and the camera does some kind of "Casablanca" vibe.
Boom! Hmm? Okay.
Okay, okay, okay, hold on.
I got more.
I got more.
Uh, oh! This one right here.
The dog plugs in the charger.
Really? Okay, no, no.
I got more.
I got more.
Ooh! You're gonna love this one.
A musical number.
IONIIIIIQ 5! Kind of like The Jackson 5 but IONIQ 5.
Okay, no, I get it.
I know.
Mm-hmm, I know.
So, when he finally showed me his I.
D.
, it said "Michael Thompson," but I know that dude buying grapes was Tupac.
- What? - Don't believe me.
Just Just sayin'.
Ooh! Date leftovers, nice! - Yeah.
- How did it go? Oh, good! It went good.
Uh, I mean, um, he drove, which was sweet.
I'd never been in a Nova before.
Being in a car that's older than our parents, you know, it really created a vibe.
Black Jesus.
So he created a vibe? - Mm-hmm.
- All right.
How did the rest of the night go? Well, um, he paid, which is nice.
- Okay.
- Well, I mean, he did have a two-for-one coupon.
- Okay.
- That is just not a solid move.
- Even I know that.
- Mm-hmm.
Right? You never break out the two-for-one.
Now, if it was a Groupon, that'd be different.
Real playas know Groupon is the way to go.
I could steal Olivia any time I want.
Bro.
And then there was this awkward moment when his car wouldn't start.
- Ohh.
- But it it's all good because we had a lot of time to talk on the, uh, bus ride home.
Black Jesus, Black Jesus, Black Jesus.
I am sorry, Diane.
Now, you know I trust you.
That's why you manage my retirement account! But this boy you're describing, baby, is a scrub.
I think you might be right, Grandma.
No, no, no, wait, wait wait a second.
No, no, no.
He sounds like a very sweet boy who just had some bad luck.
I mean, come on.
Did you have fun? Well, when we were in air conditioning, yes.
See, money can come and go, all right? But chemistry chemistry is priceless.
He could be the love of your life or a really good friend.
I remember the guy that I was closest to back when I was in med school.
We went on a couple of dates, and it didn't work out romantically, but he ended up being one of my closest friends.
- Does Dad know you're friends with a man? - That's not the point.
The point is that you don't know how this is gonna go, honey.
Unless you give Nate a second chance.
- Yeah, okay.
- Right? I guess I can give him one more shot.
- That's whatI'm talkin' about! - Yeah.
Well, suit yourself.
Just don't let him take you on a picnic, okay? What's wrong with a picnic? Nothing says "broke man that you need to leave right away" like someone asking you to eat cold supermarket food on a blanket! I got to go cancel something.
Oh, my God.
I think picnics are lovely.
Things hadn't gone the way I was hoping.
I needed to tend to my wounds and heal my bruised ego.
I've lost it.
We all know you lost your mug, all right? But you get to look at Rainbow anytime that you want to, so I don't know what the big deal is.
Get over it.
Not my mug.
I'm talking about I've lost it my ability to do this job.
Some pretty boy upstairs is showing me up because my creativity is gone.
Oh, Dre, you're just hitting a creative block.
It happens to us all the time.
Same thing happened to my band.
You remember last year when I pitched that Homestead Mayo spot where it's actually just a bunch of kids swimming in a pool full of mayonnaise? That was terrible.
It was a logistical and sanitary nightmare, is what the client called it.
But it was the best that I could do in my slump.
No one's gonna ask about my band? How do you guys get out of them? Don't fret.
When you're in a rut, fear is your biggest enemy.
We need you to defeat that fear and unlock your potential.
Is that my mug?! Don't focus on the mug.
Focus on your fears.
Bow had been the biggest supporter of Diane giving humble Nate a chance, and then this happened.
Are you sure it's a fake, baby? It had a "Made in China" tag, and there was a note inside describing the factory conditions.
Oh! Unh-unh! I want to give him a shot, but it's really hard when his gift is a human rights violation.
Mnh-mnh-mnh.
I don't know what to do.
Okay, sweetheart, you're gonna have to break up with him.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Look coupons are thrifty, and anyone's car can break down.
But someone who buys you a fake bag - Mm.
- is the type of guy that's gonna buy two middle seats to Europe.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
Okay, I guess.
Time to face your fears, Dre.
At the batting cage, Charlie? When you're staring down the barrel of a gun, what are you gonna do, huh? Run? Crumble? Or are you gonna stand there and face your fears head-on? I know what I'm going to do.
- Ohh.
- Oh, my That ball hit me, Dre, but I'm still standing.
I faced my fears, and I'm no longer afraid.
Ooh! 'Cause fear is all up here.
That hit a bone.
You know what, Charlie, you're right.
The thing I'm most afraid of is not belonging, but most of my life, I've gone places that I didn't belong, and I found my spot.
That's not what I'm saying at all, Dre.
Oh! Go face your fears, Dre! I will.
I'm gonna go back there, and I'm gonna carve out my place! - You carve it out! - All right.
- Thanks, Charlie! - Yeah.
Hey.
Will this help me face my fear of telling my mom I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving? With fear out of my system, my confidence came roaring back.
I was ready to show Griffin he wasn't the only alpha dog.
All right.
I've got the Super Bowl ad.
Oh, outstanding, Dre, but actually, we are putting a pin in the Super Bowl ad.
We're moving on to butter.
Butter? For this spot, picture an Alpine village.
The grass is green, the dew is on the roses, the cows are just waking up.
- Oh, that's so beautiful.
- I can see it.
- So serene.
- Mm, yeah.
Really? Just off the rip? I know, I know, it's so stereotypical, but it's actually exactly how it was at my high school in Switzerland.
Plus, there's this scene from this French movie starring Catherine Deneuve that I just I can't shake every time I hear the word "butter.
" Oh, come on, man! We can shoot the whole thing Dogme 95-style natural light, amateurs instead of actors, you know, give it that sense of simple authenticity.
- Oh, I love that.
- That would work.
- Oh, gosh, yes.
- I don't get any of this! This Harvard dude just stares out of the window and jingles some balls in his hand and everybody loses their mind.
He's reading a book half the time.
H-How does this stuff come so easy to you? I was up all night coming up with these pitches, but fine! You know what? Let's pivot to butter.
Because thank God we have the expert sitting right here.
Johnson swings and misses! - Strike three! - Nowhere close.
- You! - He is frustrated.
And now he's charging the mound.
You know what? - I think it's time for a lunch break.
- Yeah.
Everybody, let's just take a little bit of a breather.
Yeah, let's do that.
Let's, uh Let's all eat some butter.
Okay.
Uh Griffin went to Princeton.
We're, uh We're not all the same, Dre.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What's going on? Babe I'm out of my league.
Well, you're good at playing out of your league.
- Hey.
- Okay.
- Hey! - We're equally attractive.
You want me to poll some strangers? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
I had a rough start at the new gig.
I feel as if the pace is just eating me alive right now, babe.
- It's hard.
- But, babe, you got this.
You knew it was gonna be a tough move, but you've got the talent.
I don't know if I do.
Babe, for every professional baseball player, there are dozens of great minor leaguers - who never made it.
- Mm-hmm.
Then there are hundreds of guys who were the best in their college and the best in their high school.
You know, at some point, you reach your ceiling.
And maybe I hit my ceiling in Urban.
That's ridiculous.
Dre, you might have a ceiling, but you are so far from hitting it.
Thank you, babe.
But you have to say that because you love me.
Yeah.
There's a lot of things I have to do because I love you.
There she is the heartbreaker.
Another man broken.
I'll get you a new star for your ceiling.
I'm really sorry you had to go through with that.
But I'm so glad you did it in person.
How did he take it? Great.
I didn't break up with him.
Why not? Did he cry? They always cry.
- No, I went over there to break up.
- Okay.
But we ended up having a great conversation.
Mm.
Then I was like, "Why am I breaking up with someone cool over a bag," you know? Then I realized it's because this family is shallow.
- Mm.
- Oh, agreed.
- I mean, Dad's shallow.
- Mm.
- Zoey's shallow.
Jack's shallow.
- Mm.
Ooph.
Ah, don't forget I'm shallow.
Yeah, well, this whole thing has taught me that I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm judged by what I have.
I want to be in a relationship where what matters is who I am.
Wow.
I hate it when you're a better person than me.
Get used to it, honey.
- Oh, goodness.
Okay.
- Oh.
That girl really wants to live in an apartment forever.
I needed a hit, and bad.
I needed to prove that I belong.
What are you doing? Trying to capture the tagline, but she's elusive.
Oh, there she is! No.
No, this one's for a discount Irish airline.
Okay.
Look, Dre, I know what you're gonna say.
You know, I'm sitting here cross-legged on a table with no shoes on.
- I know I look like an idiot.
- Mm.
But the monks in Bali told me that once I let go of ego, I can just do what makes me feel comfortable.
Well, you look very comfortable.
So I got a question for you.
Mm-hmm.
What did you really think of my butter pitch? Too familiar, right? What? No.
Not at all.
- Really? - Mm.
Thank God.
'Cause I-I-I love your work, man.
Yeah, whenever we get blocked up creatively, we look to Urban for inspiration.
I mean, you guys are just killing it.
Really? You You noticed? Yeah, your work on the Ohio tourism campaign I mean, you made Columbus look like the place to be, and that's no small feat, you know, unless you're from Kentucky, I guess.
Mm.
No, you you got the goods, dude.
Thanks.
Y-You know, it's weird, I kind of find myself in this spot where I don't have my flow.
- Mm.
- You know, and I keep telling myself - that I'm here for a reason - Mm-hmm.
that my journey is evolving, you know? Wait, give me that again.
What? My journey is evolving? That's the tagline.
Or, you know, some version of that.
What, for plants coming out of concrete? No, no, no, that's garbage.
We got to start all over on that.
Well, I have something.
Hit me.
Yeah.
We have a confident driver guiding an IONIQ 5 past a buggy, and then past newer and newer models, and even other electric vehicles until they're ahead of the pack We see them pull into the garage.
The driver plugs something into the SUV, and string lights illuminate the back patio.
We follow him as he sits in the dreamy light, and then his family comes out to join him.
The tagline "The journey at its most EVolved.
" - Wow.
- Nice.
Why do the lights turn on? Well, because the IONIQ 5 has reverse charging.
Boom! The funny thing about a slump all it takes is one hit to get you out of it.
And it flies off of Johnson's bat! It is high, it is hard, it is out of here! A home run for Johnson! Unbelievable! He hammered that ball! Now batting, number 13, Charlie Telphy.
I'm not afraid of you.
Take a base! I saw you working hard.
Thought you could use a refreshment.
Okay? It's a Shirley Temple.
Shaken, not stirred.
Things got, uh, pretty messy in the kitchen.
Anyways, what you doing, reading? Brains and beauty.
What don't you have, ma? Yo, why is there grenadine syrup all over the kit chen? What are you doing? Reminding you that "Mr.
Steal-Your-Girl" lives in this house, so you better come correct for your anniversary, or I will.
Believe that.
Diamonds.
A bunch of 'em.
- Sounds good.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- Mm, so what are we reading?