Geordie Shore (2011) s08e02 Episode Script

1 The Geordies are back in the Toon.
Wicked! We are doing what we do best.
Fuck me! Partying.
Tashing on.
Getting mortal.
Shagging.
It's insane! Shit's about to get real.
We need testosterone, I'm bringing my mate in.
Aye-aye.
Who the hell is that? I recognise him.
We've already shagged.
You all right.
How you doing? Marnie is a crafty little bastard.
She was telling me she still likes us and then going to bed with Gary.
I'm gutted that Marnie's gone out of her way to tell Scott.
I didn't say that! This is going too deep already.
Aaron tried for ages to get me into bed and he finally gets in my bed and doesn't try anything.
Best night I've had in the house so far.
Mint.
I should have a degree in pulling women.
I am a Geordie girl with a VIP edge.
I'm a natural beauty.
Real boobs, real hair.
Get me in this house I'm gonna tear the place up.
I never kiss anyone without a six pack.
Hardest graft I've done is my hair.
Cheeky, colourful and full of mischief.
I'm fake, I'm flirty and I've got double Fs.
- I'll get everyone feisty.
- Geordie Shore, why-aye! Fucking hell.
My birthday party got absolutely mental and even though me and Marnie argued, we still end up in bed spooning.
What the fuck? My first house party was mint and I've woken up in bed with Holly.
Have we banged? Nah, Holly dragged us in here.
Did I fuck.
He thought that he'd just be able to walk in and bang me straight away.
I'm not like that any more.
I've told you, I'm sassy.
We didn't even cuddle.
You were in the same bed.
I don't know what's going on cos I thought I had the perfect friends with benefits situation but after last night I'm not sure.
Me and Scott are having a tidy up and talking about Gaz and Marnie.
I can't believe after everything I told Gaz last night the kid still ended up in bed with Marnie.
He's bird-bound.
I thought he would have listened.
The past couple of days we've been eating absolute shit so me and Marnie are gonna have to go to the gym.
Do you think the house is different with Aaron being there? No.
I don't, neither.
Me and Holly are talking about how well Aaron's fitted in.
It's not like that with a new girl.
If you do want Charlotte and Vicky to be the way I am with you now, cos I do feel like we have got closer Yeah.
and I am glad about that, sleeping with Gary isn't the way to go about it.
If I want to sleep in Gary's room with him then I can.
Holly and Charlotte shouldn't want me to be something I'm not.
Sometimes I have to sometimes force it.
But if you do feel left out then you need to tell me.
Holly's telling us that if I ever need anyone to talk to I can turn to her.
I feel like I've got another friend in this house.
Hi! Tonight I've got jobs for all of you.
Yes.
So Anna walks in and says we've got work again, but at least this time it's the whole squad.
Girls, you're going to be leading some Irish stags on a bar crawl.
Me and Holly have got to host an Irish stag party.
This sounds right up my street.
I can't wait to get mortal and have fun.
And guys, you're gonna be showing some Welsh hens - what Newcastle has to offer.
- Whey! Geordies and Welsh, hen party, this could get very, very messy.
As always, remain professional.
No tashing on with any of the guests.
That's never gonna happen.
That's like telling Anna never have a spray tan.
Thanks, Anna.
Thanks, guys.
Bye.
All right? Are you all right? Yeah, you? Yeah.
How the hell did we end up in bed together? Just pissed I think! I wanna know what's happening with us.
Even though we shagged in the past, nothing's happened.
Right, Aaron, me and you have had sex before.
You slept in my bed and I didn't touch you.
I know, I didn't touch you either.
So how do I get around it then? What do you mean? So if you don't have sex any more, how would I get around that? Right.
You would have to find me a unicorn.
I can't be won over very easily.
I would want a black rose.
He's gonna have to work hard.
And a star.
What the hell is she talking about? Are unicorns even real? How the fuck do you get a star? Then I might consider letting you take me out.
I'm not a man to back down from a challenge.
Challenge accepted.
We've got work tonight.
The lads are looking after hens and the lasses have got a stag do.
What are you thinking about the job tonight.
Nah.
Nah? Not at all.
I'm struggling to believe Marnie wouldn't be bothered if Gaz pulled.
She's still a girl and if he brings another girl back, you're automatically jealous.
Tonight is gonna be the decider.
Are the lads gonna pull, are they gonna come home with Marnie and Holly? All right, girls? You're getting married.
Aren't Welsh birds supposed to be man-eaters? This should be fun.
Let's get buckled! I'm so excited for work.
I can't wait to see all the fit Irish boys there.
Hi! Me and Holly get to work to find a bunch of blokes my dad's age.
But it's still our job to show them a good time, so fuck it.
Are youse ready to get fucking mortal?! Yeah! We're gonna do a competition.
There's only one thing I can think of to liven up this party.
Whoever necks the most shots gets a lap dance from Marnie.
They've all got to do shots to see who wins the lap dance and they all look super keen.
Are you gonna get the lap dance? Haway then.
This lad's Irish luck is definitely in.
Hang on a minute, she's actually good at this.
She's definitely done this before.
I've got a rose for you.
I'm gonna pull tonight and prove to everyone I'm not attached to Marnie.
Shock, I'm the first to pull, again.
Gaz and Aaron need to up their game.
Say my name, say my name.
Marnie.
Say her name, bitch.
They might be old enough to be my dad, but these stags are a laugh.
I've had an absolute howl with these stags.
Definitely the best time I've had at work.
Work's over, we done a mint job.
Anna will be proud.
Get to the club, time to party.
We get to the club and I'm absolutely mortal.
I think Aaron's a really nice lad but I can't get close to him without everyone in the house thinking I fancy him.
Why? Marnie is a really, really flirty person and I know that, but I'm banging her and it's lad code that none of your mates go near here.
Only Gary's pride would be hurt if Marnie got with somebody else.
You know me, you know me, mate.
Mate, no.
Yes, they're friends, but if Aaron ever went there, even me, that is out of order.
I'm proper fed up with this Marnie and Gary situation.
It's already causing loads of hassle.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I can't see any other reason why Gary's acting like this, other than he's totally jealous.
I'm not, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
These two love birds are arguing and I'm stuck in the middle.
I don't! I know you do.
I don't, Gary! I don't know what Gary's problem is.
He said there was no feelings involved.
No.
No? You're a liar.
I can't believe the bickering has started already.
"Have you pulled tonight?" I can't be arsed.
There's not.
There's not! I prove it.
Alright then, prove it then.
I don't understand why Gaz is so pissed off.
He must like her.
He should admit it.
I'm back and I can't wait to see that bunch of helmets, find out what's going on, get the gossip and just get fucking mortal.
Have you missed me? Oh, my God, it's Vicky.
We're in the club and I notice some idiot trying to barge past me.
Have you missed me? Oh, my God, it's Vicky! I've never seen Vicky looking this good, like.
It's so good to see these twats.
Oh, hello.
Oh, honey.
I'm actually crying.
Oh, my God, I'm actually crying.
I've actually missed them.
Good, thank you, how are you? So this beautiful girl walks in and it turns out to be Vicky.
Living with this girl is gonna put a smile on my face.
Charlotte's not here.
I'm gutted, I was looking forward to having the lasses back together.
Cheers, everyone! Thank God you're back.
I am so glad Vicky's back.
She's the queen of this house and when she finds out what's going on, she'll stir shit up.
Fucking hell! Gary's already managed to bed Marnie.
I can't say I'm fucking surprised.
Gaz would shag owt, he's like a dog with two dicks and Marnie would flirt with a lamppost.
Listen, you.
Listen, you little bastard.
Vicky needs to realise how good she looks and I'm not afraid to complement her, but the work isn't over till she sees me chopper.
Vicky's turned up, everyone's had a mint night and I'm looking extra massive.
Oh, my God.
I've seriously underestimated how much I've missed everyone.
I'm just overwhelmed with this feeling of like, sort of being home.
So much for me pulling another bird tonight.
Instead I've ended up arguing with Aaron and Marnie.
I'm spooning my pillow.
I'm so glad you brought this up for me.
So I've woken up this morning and thank God, Vicky's in my room.
Last night I got far too drunk.
All I remember is Gary being a jealous idiot and Vicky turning up.
I guarantee Gary pulled just to get back at us.
Did Gary pull last night? Oh, ooh.
Did your lad pull? Jealous girlfriend.
He didn't pull.
Hello, Charlotte, you all right? Hearing Marnie ask if her lad, Gary, pulled last night is proper deja vu.
I feel as though I've gone back two years, listening to Charlotte.
I hope we're not about to go through this again.
So I'm trying to ring Charlotte.
And it's just ringing and ringing and ringing.
Why, why, why, answer your phone.
I'm like, "Bitch, if you have a phone, answer it.
" Charlotte, man, answer your phone.
She's not answering.
Holly's tried to give Charlotte a ring and she didn't answer, and to be honest, I'm relieved.
I feel bad for Holly though, she wants her here.
We're off for brunch.
What even is that? Breakfast and lunch? Have one or the other.
Fuck off.
After what I heard, I want to find out exactly what's been going on in this house.
I heard you slept together three nights in a row and not pulled anyone else.
There we go.
I don't know what Vicky's problem is.
She's just got here and already she's grilling us about Gary.
I think Gary should have the double bed because him and Marnie are quite clearly starting a relationship.
I think it's only fair.
I don't know how many times I've got to say this.
We are not in a relationship.
I don't do relationships.
Did youse argue? Are you serious? I think it was.
Getting jealous, Gary? I wanna know what's going on with you and Holly.
Old Holly would've been happy with a burger and a Jagerbomb, but now new sassy Holly wants a fucking star, a mythical creature Fuck me.
I think you should put in the graft, pet.
She's sassy now, she's worth it.
Don't you worry, I'm gonna use my imagination and get that date.
Is it possible to order 12 black roses? It's time to tick an item off the list so I phoned the florist and ordered the black roses.
I hope they exist.
I need black, like.
God, I need them to be black.
Is it possible you can colour them in or something? Could you do that for us? "Yeah.
" Buzzing, I've got me black roses.
Well, red, but the florist says he's gonna colour them in.
Thank you very much, bye-bye.
After eating that pure rank fry up, we need to get to the gym and get a naughty session in before tonight.
I think you're a fanny.
You got what? Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop, stop, stop.
Aaron buying Holly roses means he drops serious lad points.
The boys are taking the piss, I don't care.
Holly'll be chuffed.
For all this effort that Aaron is going to, I hope he gets a bang at the end of it, but I honestly don't think he's gonna.
Aye, too much.
Tonight, me and the lads have made a pact.
We're gonna go and pull some new birds.
So let's promise that we're all getting warm beds tonight.
Go on, Azza.
I know what that'll be.
Me flowers have arrived.
The florist has done well colouring in.
Black roses? Who's he buying them for, the devil? Well, Holly.
This kid needs a bunch of man-the-fuck-up.
Holly.
Holly? Yeah? I got a surprise for you.
Oh, my God! Aaron walks in and I'm honestly really surprised.
No boy has ever gone to this much effort.
Oh, my God! That's the cutest thing that's ever happened! What's she doing, what's she doing? She's just fucking pooed herself! Holly's face is priceless.
She's loving it.
I'm definitely getting a date here.
Aw, you're so cute.
Do you like them? Oh, yeah, I love them.
If Aaron does actually end up getting all these things for me, that's fine, I'll go on a date with him.
I'll get sorted for tonight.
Thanks, Aaron.
Don't get us wrong, Aaron doing the challenges for Holly is really sweet, but if I want to go out with a huge vagina I'd be a lesbian.
Treat them mean to keep them keen, is what I would say.
If you punch him, you might get a car.
Let's go! Tonight is my first proper night out and it's gonna go off.
Yeah, yeah, it's Bijoux Yeah, yeah, it's Bijoux Me and boys decide we're gonna stick to a plan and not pull any of our girls.
I found out the boys had a bet.
Whoever cracks first and gets into one of the lasses loses, which means game on.
Lads, we're coming for you.
Hiya, Scott.
Are you OK? I'm fucking fine.
The girls are all over us but I guess that's just fucking standard.
We need to fuck shit up.
They won't be able to resist us.
The ultimate lad could be the first one to fall.
Gary reckons he won't kiss us.
I will not let that happen.
I honestly don't know how long I can resist.
We've realised we need to go hard or go home on this.
Me and Marnie are at either side of him and he can't cope.
The girls are literally all over us.
Tits everywhere but I'm not giving in.
We're double-teaming him, he's screaming like a baby.
Is this kid wifed in or what? Looks like he's heading for an epic fail.
I'm telling Aaron how fumed I am that Gary's pied us.
Gary reckons he can try and kiss us now after he pied us? I don't think so, Gary.
We are all human, but it looks like I'm losing this game.
Shock, Gaz has caved in.
My wing man is definitely whipped.
No way I'm failing this by myself.
I'll make Aaron kiss Holly.
We are in this together.
I've done it, I managed to get a kiss off Aaron.
It's time to man up, Vicky.
Find your lady balls and go and flirt with fucking Scotty T.
# So I'm kissing Vicky What a fucking belter Scotty T is wicked Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The girls won, we are victorious.
Fuck you, lads.
We leave the club and I'm carrying Holly out.
She is smashed, and Marnie is behind us.
When we get in the taxis, the boys shout Marnie into their taxi.
What's all that about? Do they think that's funny.
Do they think that's hilarious, do they? Fuck this.
Me and Gary are in the taxi and he's ranting and raving about Marnie getting in the other taxi.
You're making yourself look like a dick.
I am not arsed about Marnie.
I'll tell you now.
I'm arsed about sly, sly mates.
I am soberer than you.
Gary, man! Why would you be bothered? You don't even like her.
Ah, but listen.
I don't know what he thinks he's playing at telling Aaron and Marnie to crack on.
He's playing with fire.
Go on, son! She might have gone in the taxi but it doesn't mean she's done anything.
So Gary is just going on and on and on and on and on.
Shut the fuck up! Why were they shouting her to get in the taxi? I'm in the same taxi as you, why are me and you in the same taxi? I'm not necking on with you.
We're friends.
I don't understand what the boys are playing at.
Why get Marnie in their taxi? They want to crack on with her or are trying to piss me off.
So we get back to the house and Gary's face looks like a shit sandwich.
What the fuck's up with him now? Hi, guys! Gary looks absolutely furious.
I'm not sure what's gone on, but I know it's about to kick off.
The last thing I thought was the person I bring in this house would try and go behind my back and do something sly.
Gaz is kicking off because I've been speaking to Marnie.
We're just mates.
Gary's absolutely furious but he's directing his anger at the wrong person.
It's Scott he should be mad at, not Aaron.
Enjoy.
I wanna go to bed, forget about it and sort it out tomorrow.
Will youse two please tell me the craic? I don't know.
I don't fancy Aaron.
I'm upstairs and I hear Scott encouraging Aaron and Marnie to crack on.
What kind of mate fucking does that? I am fuming here, like.
I'm sick of defending myself.
Me and Aaron are just friends.
Scott's trying to cause trouble.
Gary.
Gary, please talk to us.
Yeah, Scott's trying to Gary just needs to learn not to listen to him, it's always me who gets the blame and I'm always the bad guy.
No! Go to bed, Scott! You go to bed.
You go to bed.
Why is she having a go? It's not my fault she's been all over Aaron.
Go and tell him that I wasn't flirting.
What the fuck is wrong with Scott? I catch him stirring more shit in the bedroom.
He needs to put that shit-stirring spoon away.
I'm talking to Gaz then they burst in.
You came down and said that I was flirting.
No, I didn't.
There's people there who heard you.
How many times do I have to tell Gaz I would never go there with Marnie.
So And all of a sudden, everyone's proper kicking off.
Everyone be quiet, guess what Don't start.
Stop it.
Don't! Oh, my God, no, no, no! Next thing, tops are off and we're face-to-face.
It's you, you're causing this shit! Tell him! You fucking told him! I knew shit like this would happen.
This is so typical.
We're all having a good time, a good night, and then someone has to come along with a huge ego and just ruin it and I don't care who's to blame.
This is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship, I'm fucking in charge, you bunch of cunts.
Pack it up and go to bed.
I didn't want it to get to this point.
I don't want to fight someone in here.
We need to talk tomorrow.
I think Gary's finally accepting there's nothing with me and Aaron.
I hope that whole situation gets put behind us and we can move on.
Woke up this morning and we dive in the Jacuzzi.
It was all kicking off last night.
I don't think Aaron said anything wrong.
Gaz is getting protective over his new lass.
Oh, yeah, he's gotta like her, man.
Got to.
I don't know what goes through Gaz's head, whether he fancies Marnie or not.
All I know is that I'm so pleased I've got fuck all to do with it.
Morning! Oh, my God.
What happened last night? Last night was absolutely ludicrous.
Aaron and Gary were going to have some sort of straightener.
Can you imagine those two fucking big girls blouses trying to have a fight? I've more upper body definition than the pair of them.
That fucking Scott was shit stirring a little bit last night.
Scott is furious that Gary has managed to go further than he did, so he's using Aaron as a pawn in his evil game to fuck shit up.
Poor little Aaron.
Scott was the bad guy last night.
He was just trying to get in Gary's head and cause trouble.
I don't know why he'd want to do that.
Last night got blown out of proportion.
We should never fall out over a girl.
Aaron's still worried about last night.
It was Scott doing the whole thing.
Last night, for me, Scott was bang out of order.
Trying to throw a spanner in the works by encouraging Aaron is just fucked up.
Hello? Anna's on the phone to tell us we're all at work tonight.
A singles party.
People are getting good at fucking match-making in this house now.
All we've got to do is get them mortal and get them to tash on.
Surely that shouldn't be too hard.
This lot manage to do it every night.
Me and Marnie decided to fuck off work.
Chill, have some food, a few drinks.
I think it's a good idea for me and Gary to just have a bit of alone time together.
I want to make sure that this whole situation is over and done with.
With Scott, he thinks in his head that he's always in the right.
I feel like the situation is all down to Scott and his shit-stirring.
Last thing I expected my best mate in the house to be doing is encouraging another lad to try and crack on.
At least Aaron had the balls to apologise.
Scott still hasn't.
Where the fuck are Gary and Marnie? Probably stopped for a shag.
I wonder if Gaz and Marnie are gonna to make it out or if they're going to pie us off to have a pillow fight.
To singles night! To the singles! I am so excited for tonight's singles night and that is because there are three things in life I am good at.
Getting pissed, judging people and necking on.
Tonight involves all three.
Hi, everyone.
Thank you for coming.
It's up to me to welcome the troops and get this started and what better way than with tequila body shots.
That always makes me neck on.
Drink your tequila and neck on.
Go! Oh, fucking hell! Go on, yeah! Oh, my God! Looks as though the tequila shots worked.
Everyone's frisky as fuck and everyone's tashing on.
Everyone in the room is just necking on with each other.
I feel a bit out of place.
It's just my new thing now.
Your new thing? I don't like it.
Why is everyone struggling to understand that I'm different now? I won't sleep with the first person who puts their cock in my face.
There's no way I'm gonna give up.
I'm gonna go to the end until I get everything.
Holly might be making it hard but I'll use my imagination and get that date.
Work's done, all the singles are pissed, we're all pissed.
It's time to have a night out.
So we get to Soho Rooms and Gary and Marnie still aren't there.
Looks like we're partying without them tonight.
We're off to find the others.
I hope they're not pissed off we sacked off work.
Gary and Marnie turn up, I thought Charlotte was gonna be here and literally I just burst into tears.
I don't know why I thought she was gonna be there but I did.
I really, really miss Charlotte right now.
Scott tried to come between us but to be honest, Scott is fucking himself over.
Whatever happened, I'm ready to put it behind us.
All I want is an apology from my best mate.
Everyone got the wrong end of the stick.
Can't be arsed with games.
I want to crack on with birds.
I've got these two girls and I'm telling them all about my water bed and how watery it is and that we're gonna turn into a wave pool.
I brought these two girls back and I can't be arsed with everyone else's shit chat, so straight to the water bed, cos they wanna have a go in my dinghy.
Come here.
I don't care if Scott's banging, he's having a threesome, I still can't get over the fact he told Aaron to go and flirt with Marnie when I'm getting with Marnie.
I need an apology or I can't let this go.
Gaz walks in the shag pad saying he wants a chat.
Bit bad timing, mate, when I've got two pirates walking on my plank.
I need two minutes.
Birds can last, lads can't.
I don't want to hear, "I was too drunk, don't know what I was doing," I want him to be honest, I want him to admit exactly what he said.
I was a bit pissed last night, whether I told Aaron to get with Marnie or not, why are you bothered? It's nothing to do with Marnie.
It's nothing to do with Marnie.
It's between lads.
This is between I don't get fucked about.
This was between me and my two mates.
The lads need to stick together cos Marnie will try and get in our heads and I can't be arsed.
I just want it all done and buried and gone.
Right, that's all I want.
This is the best I'm gonna get so fuck it, I'll accept his apology.
In this situation it's just easier to say sorry but Gaz needs to realise it's Marnie he needs to worry about.
I'm not gonna let anyone in this house fuck up what me and Marnie have.
We get each other and I do not want it to get complicated.
I say bite the bullet and make the first move.
Aye-aye.
Double date has to happen.
Go.
We're having a wicked time.
Fuck! Sorry I'm late! Charlotte has just walked through the door.
Where is everyone? This isn't a very nice welcome.
This will ruin everything.
Holly! It's Charlotte, what the hell?! Fuck my life.