Shameless US s08e02 Episode Script

1 Shit, I'm out here saving lives and you missed last week's episode? Fuckin' believe this guy? Jesus.
(ROCK MUSIC) Well, watch the clip.
- So you the new slumlord? - Uh, new owner.
Nessa Chabon.
2C.
- (FIONA) Your guy didn't come? - (IAN) Trevor? Kinda fucked that one up.
You just got sober.
Yeah, well, we're friends.
(BRAD) She broke up with you because of your drinking.
I need a sitter tomorrow night because I have a date.
I thought you'd given up on Charlie.
(SIERRA) He's Lucas' father, so I figure I have to give him a second chance.
- You have beautiful hair.
- Thanks.
Duran, beauty school.
When's the last time you did a self-exam? A what? You have a lump.
I do? I fell in love with your mother when I was 20 years old.
But now I am released, emotionally stunted, but still a young man in many ways.
Immigration! Nobody move! What the hell is going on? That's her.
She's the leader.
There is a four-centimeter mass in your right breast.
We need to do a biopsy immediately.
(ROCK MUSIC) Think of all the luck you got Know that it's not for naught You were beaming once before But it's not like that anymore What is this downside That you speak of? What is this feeling You're so sure of? Round up the friends you got Know that they're not for naught You were willing once before But it's not like that anymore What is this downside That you speak of? What is this feeling You're so sure of? (FIONA) Thank God for the new bourgie tenant moving in.
Everyone is late with their rent except you and the guy in 2C? Yep.
Get used to it.
Deadbeats in this building never paid what's-his-ass on time either.
And he didn't do anything about it? That loser only cared about using this place to get laid.
He was like a walking ad for HPV.
Guess I better get checked for HPV.
Ryan? No, you didn't.
- Do you love me any less? - (LAUGHS) Nah, I brought home a few nasty girls BM.
- Before Mel.
- (LAUGHS) Just toss out whoever hasn't paid their rent and start over.
Nah, I've been late on the rent before.
I wanna give everyone a chance to pay.
Sack up.
It's business.
I expect the druggies, the hoarder, and the mom with 72 kids to be out of here by the time I get back.
Mm-hmm.
Have a good day, dear.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) Smells good.
I like Corporal Carl in the kitchen.
Doesn't taste half bad, either.
Eating for two? A boy or a girl, huh? I'm just trying to fight the urge to drink - with extreme nausea.
- Sounds healthy.
Hey, I could try to move your meth today.
About time.
I'll go get it.
(CARL) Hey, it's not like there's an eBay for this.
Shit takes time.
Yo, yo, yo.
What up, homeboys? Lip, you're 21, right? I'm 23, but that's fine.
You're in the ballpark.
Why? What would another 21-year-old wear to a-a job interview? Well, a fucking 52-year-old who was in a delusional crack haze thinking he was 21 would wear the green shirt that doesn't belong to him.
I was gonna pick the same one.
Young minds think alike.
(CARL) You got a job interview? (LIP) What, are you looking to collect disability again, Frank? (FRANK) That was the old Frank.
This Frank is different.
I wish you kids could've known me before Monica coiled her body around my neck, choked to death the man I was meant to be.
You're about to witness the rebirth of a proactive member of society.
- Jesus.
- (DOOR OPENS) Crashing at my friend Dylan's house after school.
Bye.
(LIP) Bye, bud.
Here.
Ah, yeah, just give me a couple days.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) Hey, just Just give that back a sec.
What the fuck's with you? It's the last thing she left us.
Once it's gone, so is she.
(LIP) It's crystal meth.
What, are you getting sentimental? Eh, just kinda hit me.
I don't know.
- (CARL) Jesus.
- Hey! For that, I'm taking a bigger percentage.
A dipshit cut.
Gotta get to work.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING) - Come on.
- Hi.
- Uh, yeah? - Hi, I'm Fiona Gallagher.
How are you? I'm the new landlord.
- (CHILD SCREAMING) - Hey! Uh, your rent was due on the first.
- Shut up! - It's the sixth.
Shut up! Your father didn't get his crack ass incarcerated, I might have money for the nice landlord lady.
- Do you know when you might have it? - Uh, I'm working a shift at the Private Peak Hotel tonight, so I'll ask my manager to give me an advance.
Is that the place on Cermak? That's the one, yeah.
I used to work there too.
Housekeeping.
- No shit.
That's what I do.
- Yeah.
Yeah, wow.
Now look at you.
Really making something of yourself.
I just got lucky.
I mean, I raised my five brothers and sister myself.
Oh, how about that? We're like two peas in a motherfuckin' pod.
- (BANGING) - Fuck.
James Jr.
! You better put that lamp down.
Don't crack it over your sister's head again.
Better go before these demonseeds kill each other.
All right, I'll come back tomorrow.
- Oh, good.
- See you tomorrow.
Nice talking to you.
(LOCK CLICKS) (SIGHS) - Hi.
- (GRUNTS) Hey.
I'm Fiona, the new landlord.
I'm Rocky.
That's Pam.
Well, I don't mean to disturb you, but you're late with the rent.
I'm gonna need it by tomorrow.
Okay.
Sure.
Okay, then.
- (WOMAN) Hello? - Hi, is that Mrs.
Cardinal? Hi, it's Fiona Gallagher, the new landlord.
Can you open the door, please? No.
Okay.
Uh, well, your rent is late.
Is this one of those old people scams? Go away, or I'm calling the FBI.
There's no need to do that, Mrs.
Cardinal.
Can you get me a check by tomorrow? You better leave.
I have a dog.
Woof, woof! Woof, woof! Woof-woof! Woof, woof, woof, woof! Woof, woof, woof, woof! You don't have much in the way of work history.
Been a stay-at-home dad most of my life.
It says that you sold cars for a period of time.
Yes.
Not in a lot or anything.
These were cars I acquired.
Tell me about this, uh, recycling center you worked at.
(CHUCKLES) "Worked at" may be an overstatement.
I collected cans.
And this Kroger's job you held for, what (LAUGHS) six hours, huh? In the butcher department.
Sliced my hand first day.
I-I got disability.
Mr.
Gallagher, it seems that you're not really interested in holding down a job, so why enter the, um, workforce at this age? I lost my wife a few months ago.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm not.
What you are looking at, Mr.
Adeeb, is a man who changed himself for the love of a bad woman.
She turned me into a scoundrel.
I found loopholes in the system.
I skirted the man.
I sent a big "eff you" to society.
And now that she's dead, I'm-I'm ready to go back to who I was, an upstanding citizen, someone who respects community, a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, forever changed.
I pledge to you, Mr.
Adeeb and to all the other members of this big fat marble we're on, I will never let a woman change who I am again.
(INHALES SHARPLY, SIGHS) You all right? (GRUNTS, SIGHS) When I was at Harvard Med School, I I fell in love with this (SNIFFLES) waitress at Legal Seafoods.
Amy Schwartzman.
- A Jew? - She wanted to move back to Chicago.
So I quit school, followed her, proposed.
She said yes, if I converted.
So I took off the turban, cut my hair and changed my name to Jerry.
Come on! I was Jerry Singh-Schwartzman for 15 years.
Get out of here.
Now I'm divorced four months.
I'm trying to reclaim my old identity now.
- Right on, brother.
- Mm.
No one comes here and tells you the truth.
Honesty's all you'll get from me.
Then I want you on my team.
I believe in second chances.
Welcome to Lumber Lawn and Lighting, Mr.
Gallagher.
I won't let you down.
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) (SIERRA) (LAUGHING) I'm late.
- (LIP EXHALES DEEPLY) - Hey.
Hi.
Lucas can't stop talking about how much fun he had with you last night.
Oh, yeah.
Put a magic spell on him.
I need someone in the family to like me.
(TSKS) Oh, come on.
Neil likes you.
You need me tonight? What? Well, you have plans with Charlie again? Sierra, what the fuck? You got a table.
- Sorry, V.
- Stop standing around.
- You okay? - Stressed.
- Is it Kev's surgery? - (SIGHS) I'm trying to be positive in front of him, but my brain keeps going to Crazy Town.
Why don't you take the day off? Hell no.
I need this distraction.
Otherwise, I'll be thinking, "What if that big, dumb lug actually has breast cancer and dies on me?" (VERONICA) Hi.
Welcome to Patsy's.
Two? Mm-hmm.
When I married my second husband, he didn't think my breasts were big enough.
- (WOMAN) Hmm.
- (HAZEL) So I got a boob job.
- Stupid things leaked on me.
- (ALL COMMISERATING) (HAZEL) I swear, that's what gave me cancer.
Shithead left me after I got my mastectomy.
- (WOMAN) Oh.
- (WOMAN) Oh, seriously.
Kevin, do you wanna share? Uh, yeah.
- Hello.
- (ALL) Hello.
Just glad to be here.
Well, I'm not glad.
I - I'm scared.
- Mm.
Tomorrow, I get this guy cut into.
And I got all these thoughts swimming around my head, like Will I survive surgery? Has the cancer spread? Will I get to watch my kids grow up? Will I ever be able to take my shirt off again in the gym or let men feel me up for tips? (WOMEN) Hmm? Would you be comfortable if we gave you a group hug? Yes, I'd be very comfortable with that.
(RANDI) Okay.
(RANDI SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT) Put you in the middle there.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
(ALL) Together we stand.
Together we fight.
We do it with power.
We do it with might.
Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight! Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight! Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight! Cancer, you asshole, get out of our sight! Feels good, Doc.
How'd you say you got these burns? The sun.
Just on one hand, huh? Looks more like a crack pipe burn.
Switch hands every now and then.
Or better yet, lay off the crack.
What's going on, Skeet? You're all set here, Geneva.
Maybe I'll see you tomorrow, Doc.
Found him passed out, panhandling over on Cermak and Ridgeland.
Getting enough to eat? Most days.
Kinda hot to be out there today, man.
Good corner.
Make a lot of money.
You're dehydrated.
Let me get you some Pedialyte.
All right.
Drink plenty of fluids today, man.
(TREVOR) You okay? - Yep.
- You sure? Got kinda sad about Monica today.
It was weird.
It's not that weird.
She hasn't been dead very long.
I guess.
You know what I do when I get sad? What? Go to Bear Back.
- The chub bar? - Mm-hmm.
- You're into chubs? - The bigger, the better.
How did I not know this about you? Now you do.
I don't get it.
Well, then let's go to Bear Back tonight and you'll get enlightened.
Or get smothered.
- (MAN) How can I help you, sir? - (FRANK) Got a new job.
Need to open an account, place for my paychecks.
Okay, I'll have you fill out a little paperwork.
May I see your driver's license? Don't have one.
Have you had an account with us in the past? - No.
- Another bank? - Nope.
- You have no previous banking history? Not in the way that you mean.
Is there someone to cosign for you, a family member? Probably not.
Sir, I'm trying to work with you here.
We'll open a checking account for anyone, but you gotta give me something.
(SIGHS) - Life Saver? - That'll do.
Let me get some temporary checks for you.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) That's your Range Rover? Nice.
This is Liam.
That's Alma, my nanny.
- Hey.
- (LIAM) Hey, cool.
You got TVs in your car? Click, clack.
Make it snap.
- Huh? - Seat belt, dude.
Can't go till you put it on.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) (DEBBIE) Oh, hi, Franny, how was your day? What'd you do? Play with dolls? Eat num-nums? You go poopies? I didn't hear you come in.
You were napping in front of the TV.
I didn't wanna wake you up.
What time do you get home from school tonight? I don't know.
I'll probably get a drink with some friends after.
I don't really see you anymore.
You're seeing me now, silly! You look nice.
I know, right? (CHUCKLES) Love you, Franny.
Have a good night.
Her food's on the bottom shelf.
Uh, I-I'm your boyfriend, not your babysitter.
What happens if I fall out of my chair and you're not here to help me up? That's funny.
Bye, Neil.
(FRANNY CRYING) - Yo.
- Hey.
Hi.
You just out of the shower? No, I ran over here.
Did you leave this for me? - Yeah, help yourself.
- Nice.
Weren't at the meeting.
No, I needed to blow off some steam.
Oh, it's better than slamming down 12 Old Styles, right? Next time, do both.
What, run and beer? - Run and meeting.
- Copy that.
Hey, I got the ultrasound photo.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, check it out.
Let me see.
Wow.
It's cute.
Yeah.
You sure he's yours? Well, when he comes out with a big dong, you'll know he's mine.
(LAUGHTER) So why were you blowing off steam? I saw Sierra's ex this morning.
He practically pissed on her, marking his territory.
I don't know what she sees in him.
Stay out of her business.
I'm worried about her.
Buy a plant.
Worry about that.
Hmm.
(WOMAN) Sir, are you happy with your current cell phone provider? - Don't have a cell phone.
- Did you lose yours? - Never had one.
- Would you like one? (LIAM) Holy shit, Dylan.
You swipe all these? What? The sneakers.
My parents bought them for me.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) Dylan, honey, Daddy and I are going to a charity event.
Alma's going to be here.
Gotta brush your teeth and start - getting ready for bed.
- Okay.
You can use my bathroom.
- You have your own bathroom? - You don't? I do, when no one else is home.
(UPBEAT MUSIC) Na, na, na, na, na Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na Na, na, na, na, na Na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na Maybe we can groove Just you and I on the dance floor This is seriously your type? Sometimes.
What's the attraction? They like to please.
They're tender.
Two shots of well whiskey.
These guys? It's not like I go for them all the time.
It's just when I need someone really nice in my life.
Like, let's say there was, uh, this guy that I really loved and, uh, he deserted me for three days to go to Mexico with his escaped convict ex.
- Mm-hmm.
- I would come here, find a chub to worship me.
Make me wanna sing Yeah, yeah, you make me wanna sing - Thanks.
- Come on.
What are we doing? Hi.
I'm Trevor.
This is Ian.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Mm.
(ENGINE TURNING OVER) (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO) All right.
Go on, go get the game.
(FIGHTING SOUNDS ON VIDEO GAME) There you go.
All right.
You, uh you haven't told your mom you play this game, have you? Shit no.
You haven't told your mom that you say "shit," have you? Yeah, how'd you do on that math quiz? Got an 87.
Daddy was proud.
Said he's gonna take me to Disney World.
Disney World, huh? Watch out.
I got you cornered.
Gonna slice your head open.
(SAW WHIRRING) (SQUELCHING) - Ah.
- Dude! Who in the hell likes these crazy-ass dolls anyway? Fuckin' commie flag.
Oh, thank God you're getting rid of that crap.
I'll take a beer.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) The fuck you doing? I wanna imprint my face into your memory in case I don't make it through my surgery.
What surgery? (SIGHS) I have breast cancer.
We don't know that for sure.
You have ovarian cancer too? Tommy, this is no joke.
Have you given yourself a breast exam? (SCOFFS) Please.
It would take breast cancer 30 years to chew through these things.
(KEVIN) Debs.
Hey.
What are you wearing? Look, if I don't make it out tomorrow, I want you to look after the kids, okay? Tell them I love them.
'Kay, Kev.
- (DEBBIE) Hey, guys.
- (BOTH) Hey, Deb! - There she is.
- (DEBBIE CHUCKLES) - Uh, these extra beers? - Help yourself.
Your hair looks great, as always.
Thanks.
Lakisha was just telling us that she killed her patient.
I didn't say it like that.
- (DEBBIE) Another one? - Her third.
How was I supposed to know, when I went out to get cigarettes, his ventilator would decide to stop working? If I don't find another patient, I'm never gonna get my practicum hours.
Come on, Angel of Death, let's get another pitcher.
- Ugh.
- What? My stupid dad just walked in.
- Thomas.
- Frank.
- You got one of these? - A cell phone? Yeah, everyone has a cell phone, Frank.
Then we should exchange numbers.
Like I need you calling my ass at four in the morning.
Aw, come on! We could hang out, catch a movie.
How did you get a cell phone, anyway? With my starter checks.
Oh! What is happening in this world? You have a bank account, and that one's got lady cancer.
- Here.
- Hey.
(STAMMERING) No.
A picture of our last night together.
(GRUNTING) Ah, ah.
(MAN) Yeah! Daddy like! Huh.
Ah.
(LAUGHS) Oh, you're such a good boy.
Thanks.
Hey.
Where you going? What? Come here.
(TREVOR GRUNTING) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) (CRYING) Oh, it's okay.
I'm here.
Let it out.
(CRYING) - Hey.
- (NEIL) Hey, look, - I fell out of my chair.
- I had the best night tonight.
I learned so much in school.
I love everyone in my class.
- Night! - Is that a hickey on your neck? (SHOWER TURNS ON) (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO) (LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) You're the only one not insane (FIONA) This music.
You okay? Oh, other than crying into some fat fuckin' furry stranger's arms tonight, I'm great.
Wanna talk about it? Can I come in? Knock yourself out.
Oof, hot.
Yeah, Carl keeps it at a cool 104 degrees.
Heh, nice.
What, you sure you're okay enjoying the spoils of Monica's meth money? I'll make an exception this one time.
For you.
Ah.
Whoo! What's going on? Nothing, it's stupid.
Hey, how's work? How's the apartment? (SIGHS) Patsy's is busy.
Most of my tenants haven't coughed up the rent yet.
Payback's a bitch.
Totally.
But I'm cutting them some slack.
I made nice, introduced myself to everyone, so should get a couple checks tomorrow.
Good.
So we done small talkin'? You gonna tell me what's going on? Mm.
It's embarrassing.
Okay.
Trevor said that hooking up with a chub would make me feel better about Monica, but it don't.
I feel worse.
Really? You're upset she died? Yeah, I know that you guys have all moved on and I haven't.
I moved on when she was still alive.
Well, then I guess I'm the family freak for not wanting to forget about her.
I don't think you're a freak 'cause you don't wanna forget about her.
Thanks.
I think you're a freak 'cause you cried in a fat dude's arms.
(LAUGHS) (FEMALE COMPUTERIZED VOICE) Continue on the present road for two miles.
Can I sleep over at your house tonight? Okay.
Caution.
Police activity ahead.
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE) (BOTH CHUCKLE) (CAR LOCKS CLICK) - (MAN GRUNTING) - Stay down! Hey, hey! Get the girl.
Get the girl! Stop right here.
Right turn in 100 feet.
You have arrived at your destination.
(PEOPLE SHOUTING) Beat his ass! Yeah, beat his ass! (LIAM) Bye, Dylan.
See you tomorrow.
(ALMA) No.
No, Liam! Stay here.
(SHOUTING CONTINUES) (TIRES SQUEALING) (CARL) Yo, I moved your meth.
- (WHISTLES) Thanks.
- Yeah.
No problem.
(LIP) Hey, uh, what are you gonna spend it on? Uh(SIGHS) Got something in mind to honor Monica.
Jesus.
What, you still all emo about her? Yeah, why don't you, uh, gimme that money back? Hey! At least I'm not babysitting, trying to get back with my ex.
That's not what I'm doing.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
I'm looking out for Sierra.
All right, I don't trust Charlie.
He told Lucas he was gonna take him to Disney World.
- He can afford Disney World? - No.
He's full of shit and Sierra and Lucas are buying it.
Yo, buddy, how was Dylan's house? Huge.
They have seven bathrooms.
(LIP) No shit, seven? I gotta figure out a way to get Sierra and Lucas to see what a phony Charlie is.
(SIGHS) Maybe he's changed.
(FRANK) He hasn't changed.
Once an addict, always an addict.
(CARL) Dude, you gotta drop this Charlie thing.
I just don't want Sierra to get hurt.
Dangle a carrot in front of old Charlie.
If he's an addict, he'll take a bite.
That's actually not a bad idea.
You're listening to Frank? Well, off for my first day of work.
(ROCK MUSIC) Hey, how long you think before he comes home with another intentionally broken arm? A week.
I say it's gonna be a severed finger this time.
Two days max.
Third-degree burn to the scalp.
Later today.
Nonspecific back pain.
- Hey, that's a good one, bud.
- Oh, nice one, yeah.
Daddy is going in for surgery today.
And when he gets out, everything will be back to normal.
Or he's gonna have cancer all over his body, like this woman.
Damn.
Yevgeny, you're gonna have to be the man of the family now.
Look after the twins and your mom.
This mom.
The good mom.
Okay, Daddy.
No more videos.
Happy lumpectomy day to you Happy lumpectomy day to you - Come on! - Happy lumpectomy day Dear Kev Happy lumpectomy day to you Go on, make a wish.
(KEVIN SIGHS) Shit.
It's still there.
Hey, dude.
Hook me up real quick.
Girl wants a picture of me in this monkey suit.
- Yeah, I know.
- All right.
Guys, guys, guys.
There are a quarter million people in this city who are out of work.
We belong to an elite group, the employed.
And as such, we have certain standards to uphold.
And not just as representatives of the working class but also as associates of Lumber Lawn and Lighting.
You read the handbook.
We're not in the home improvement business.
We're in the customer business.
You should tuck in your shirttail.
Okay, the training starts here in five minutes.
I gotta go shake hands with shorty.
- (MRS.
CARDINAL) Yes? - Hi, Mrs.
Cardinal.
It's Fiona Gallagher.
- Who? - (SCOFFS) Your landlord.
I'm following up about your rent.
Do you have a check for me? Go get her, Rusty.
(GROWLING) The pretend dog isn't gonna work for long, Mrs.
Cardinal.
- I need that by tomorrow.
- (BARKING) (ROCK MUSIC) Oh, no.
Hey! I'm on the road I've come this far Got further to go Bitch, you trying to ditch me? Seriously? (NESSA) Hey, you.
Uh, yeah.
Look who paid.
Wow.
I'm shocked.
Yeah, hopefully I won't get hep C cashing this check.
Hey! Be careful.
Hold on a sec.
(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV) Mr.
Donaldson.
Mr.
Donaldson? Why do you have that container? Mel and I are doing fertility treatments.
Anyone else pay? Uh, nope.
(LAUGHS) Baby mama in 1A just ditched out the back.
Evict her ass.
No pay, no stay.
(MAN) A forklift is a powerful and safe tool when used well by a trained operator.
However, the number of deaths and serious injuries that occur each year show that a forklift can be dangerous if not used safely.
Collisions, rollovers, and falling loads are just some of the hazards that result in thousands of injuries each year.
A complacent attitude to forklift safety can result in injury and even death.
Have you had anything to eat or drink - in the past 12 hours? - (KEVIN) No.
Okay.
I'm gonna start the valium drip, Mr.
Ball.
You'll feel very relaxed in a minute.
Kev, let's pray.
(SIGHS) (CLEARS THROAT) God, please protect Kev during his surgery.
Let him wake up cancer-free, God.
And, God, when I'm under, please, please don't let anyone probe me where they're not supposed to.
Kev! No, I read about it in my cancer chat rooms.
Ohh, that feels good.
I wanna feel like this for the rest of my life.
Which won't be very long if I die on this table, - but I don't care.
- (WOMAN) I'm gonna administer - the Propofol.
- (KEVIN MOANS) Please count backwards from ten.
Ten - (TATTOO NEEDLE BUZZING) - You doin' okay? Kinda digging the pain.
Yeah, a lot of people say that, especially if they're going through a hard time.
Why's that? Well, emotional pain has no location.
Physical pain does.
You can name it.
So it becomes a little more manageable.
How's it looking? Your girlfriend's gonna love this one, bro.
Nah, it's not my girlfriend.
It's my mom.
- Your mom? - Mm-hmm.
Bro, you shoulda told me that before I started working on these titties.
Titties? Ohh, fuck! (SIGHS) So I had a woman jump from the second floor when I came by looking for the rent this morning.
Damn, that's straight out of the Gallagher playbook.
- Yeah.
- What, she didn't try begging and being pitiful first? No, that was yesterday.
I can't evict a mom with kids, can I? - Well, how late is she? - A week.
A week? Jesus, not much of a grace period, Ebenezer.
- Yo, Lip.
- Hey.
Some waitress chick told me it was okay to come back here.
What's going on, man? Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks for coming.
Hey, look, are you still, like, delivering those special pizzas? Bread and butter of my business.
All right, so I need Hawaiian, extra Hawaiian to, uh it's this address.
- Have it there in under 30.
- All right, thanks, man.
What the hell's that about? Oh, I was having my own moral dilemma about getting rid of somebody.
And? Fucker's going down.
(MONITOR BEEPING) (ATMOSPHERIC WHOOSHING) (GASPS) V! What happened? Am I alive? Baby, what happened? Okay, I'm gonna go get the nurse, okay? What happened with my titty? They take my nipple? Oh, hey there, fella.
How are you doing? How do you feel, Mr.
Ball? I feel good.
I feel very, very good.
- (VERONICA SIGHS) - I Does he have cancer? I'll get the doctor.
I'm not qualified to discuss what needs to be discussed.
(ATMOSPHERIC WHOOSHING) The fuck is that supposed to mean? I don't know.
Sounded bad.
It did sound bad, didn't it? Baby.
(SIGHS) I want you to set up a memorial for me at The Alibi.
Everyone drinks at the exact time I die every year.
And I want you to play Boyz II Men, "End of the Road" really loud.
Although we've come (BOTH) To the end of the road Still I can't let go It's unnatural You belong to me I belong to you - (CURTAIN OPENS) - Sorry for the delay, folks.
I biopsied your lump, Mr.
Ball.
- It's benign.
- (KEVIN SIGHS) Why? Why? What? What, I-is that good or bad? I can never remember.
Oh, it's good, baby.
- You don't have cancer.
- I don't have cancer? - Oh, thank you, Lord.
- Oh, thank you, God.
Oh, Christ, this shit is heavy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Use your legs, not your back.
Don't wanna hurt yourself.
End up on disability.
Nothing respectable about being a drain on the system.
(ROCK MUSIC) Who's picking us up? Nobody.
We walk.
Cool! - Debbie? - Hi, Celia.
I know things ended bad between us, but Franny misses her grandma.
Oh, my God.
She's getting so big.
- (CELIA) Look at her.
- (DEBBIE) She's a good eater.
Ohh.
Hola, chiquita.
Abuela's missed you so much.
Ay, que linda.
So you busy tonight, Celia? Mi bebé, que linda.
- Yeah? - You ordered Hawaiian pizza.
- No.
- Came up on the app.
You must have the wrong address.
Already paid for.
Want it? (LAUGHS) Sure, but I'm not tipping you.
Whatever.
Jackass.
Hey, man! You (SIGHS) You gotta take this back, man.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES, ENGINE TURNING OVER) (ROCK MUSIC) - Night, Lenny.
- Bye, Frank.
See you in the morning, Chet.
Hasta luego, Jose.
Hold on, hold on Hold on We're breaking free You can't keep us down So follow me There's no stopping now (BOTH LAUGHING) Whoo-hoo! Yeah.
(MAN ON TV) Shots were fired - Want more supper? - Okay.
Is anyone gonna tell us when to go to bed? Nah, probably not.
And (SODAS FIZZING) (BOTH) Whoo! (ALL SCREAMING AND CHEERING) - I don't have cancer! - (PEOPLE CHEERING) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Drinks are on the house! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! One beer each on the house.
What she said, what she said.
I'll take it! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah, baby! That's what I'm talking about.
- Ohh! - Yeah! (CELL PHONE RINGS) - Neil, what is it? - Where's Franny? Staying at her grandma's house.
- What? - Now you don't have to pretend to fall out of your wheelchair anymore.
Will you come home and give me a sponge bath? - No! - Who you talking to? - I gotta go.
- (CELL PHONE BEEPS) Uh, nobody.
It's just my stupid boyfriend.
Won't give me any space.
Wants me to give him a sponge bath every night.
- Sounds sexy.
- It's not.
He's paraplegic.
- Did you say paraplegic? - Yeah.
I'll do it.
I need a new patient for my practicum hours.
Um, sure.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (SIERRA) Charlie, it's me again.
What the fuck? I'm-I'm outside waiting for you.
I-I better see you soon.
I'm not kidding.
- Oh, wow.
- (IAN) Mm-hmm.
Your mom's boobs were giant! - Yeah.
- (IAN) Jesus Christ.
I'll go grab us a couple beers and we'll go up to my room.
Oh, shit, what'd you do to yourself? It's none of your business.
(LIAM) It's supposed to be Monica.
- Liam.
- (CARL) What? Dude, you've lost it.
Hey, but nice rack, though.
Is that Monica's jacket? Yeah, I traded it for a couple beers and a blowie.
You gave a random girl Monica's jacket? It's not like she's using it.
- Where'd you get it from? - The storage unit.
Is there stuff still in there? - What's left.
It's mostly junk.
- I wanna go see it.
Okay, fine, we'll go tomorrow, psycho.
Your house is so fun.
- (ROCK MUSIC) - Hey (GROWLS) Hey (DEBBIE MOANING) Oh, my God.
(LAUGHS) Oh, it feels so good.
Hey When I see you walking by, I'm like "Ooh, my, my" Tilt my head to the right like "Ooh, my, my" (MOANS) Crystal, it's Fiona.
Don't run.
I just wanna talk.
- Hi.
- What? I'm not gonna evict you, don't worry.
- Okay.
- But you gotta meet me halfway.
Can we come up with a plan together? Like what? Well, you can't live here for free.
Would you be able to give me something? Maybe half the rent now, half in a week or two? - I guess I could do that.
- That's great! - Yeah, I'll get my checkbook.
- Okay.
(CHILDREN CHATTERING) (FIONA) I understand how difficult and stressful this can be.
I've been in your position many times.
Have you thought about signing the kids up for camp? It's free over by the park and maybe you could pick up a few more shifts at the hotel? Yeah, I'll think about that.
Okay.
- No more ditching me, okay? - You got it.
(CHILDREN YELLING) "Paid to the order of the cock-guzzling, sellout bitch landlord.
" One cent? Hey! Fuck you! (ROCK MUSIC) Safety first.
Courtesy, a close second.
Here you go.
(KRISTA) My mother's coming to visit and wants to stay with me.
And my sponsor said I should draw a firm boundary.
I don't even know what a firm boundary is.
All I know is that my mother comes into my kitchen and she's bitching at me before I've even had a cup of coffee.
I'm afraid after two days, I'm gonna pour myself a cup of tequila instead of coffee.
All right.
Anyone else like to share? (CHARLIE CLEARS THROAT) Charlie, addict.
I'm having a rough day.
Uh, actually, the past 18 hours.
I got a delivery.
Gram of coke on a pizza.
(SCOFFS) Uh, probably someone from my old crew, you know, trying to get me back in the game.
(SIGHS) I didn't do it yet.
I want to.
(SIGHS) I just been staring at it since yesterday.
It's still on my kitchen table.
Um(SIGHS) I don't know what to do with it.
I couldn't get myself to flush it.
So I called my sponsor, and, um and he told me to get myself to a meeting.
Here I am.
That's it.
(DOOR CLOSES) - They're coming out right now.
- Thank you.
Oh, it's no problem at all.
No, he's a great kid.
He can really hold his liquor.
Oh, yeah.
They both put themselves to sleep around, like, 2:30.
(IAN) Oh, yeah, he slept soundly through the night.
You know, probably helped that we didn't have any shootings.
Well, last night.
Mom, we had so much fun! Uh, you know what? Tell me about it in the car, honey.
Here, let's take some of that off.
Here, give me your jacket.
And okay, let's do Arms up, arms up, arms up.
Yeah, that's good.
Okay, now (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) Got it? Okay.
Let's go, bud.
Uh, ugh.
(ROCK MUSIC) Ooh.
You wanna bounce? Yeah, sure.
Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey (ROCK MUSIC) (SNARLING) (GROWLING) (BARKING) Ow! Get the fuck off! God fuck! Ah! (KNOCKING) You wanted to see me, boss? Yes, please.
Come in.
- Have a seat.
- (DOOR CLOSES) I'm onto you.
Excuse me? You're not interested in being a Lumber Lawn and Lighting employee, are you? You're here to become management.
One step at a time, my friend.
I'm impressed by your work ethic and your dedication.
That's why I'm making you the Garden Department Supervisor.
(BOTH LAUGH) - Okay.
- Huh? Huh? - Thank you.
- Huh? - Yeah.
Ahh! - Huh? (CARL) I sold most of Monica's shit already.
There's not much left that's worth anything.
How much do you think I can get for this? You can't be selling her stuff.
Why not? She's dead.
'Cause everyone should have a chance to go through it, see what they want.
T-shirt with blood, Jergens lotion, - and some skanky-ass hairbrush? - Hey! Smells like her.
Besides, you gave all the best stuff to your hos.
Hey! You're the little fuckers who stole my meth, huh? - Ah, shit! - Hey, wait! (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) Come on, come on! Where's my fuckin' meth? (MAN SCREAMS) (MAN) Motherfuckers! I'm gonna kill you both! Don't say a word.
I don't know what to say because I don't know what I'm looking at.
I was gonna sabotage Charlie, plant coke on him.
Then I felt guilty, broke into his apartment, flushed the drugs, got attacked by his dog.
And this is your idea of not being emotionally invested in her.
I screwed up, all right? (WHIRRING) Is this yours? Uh-huh.
Coke's gone too.
I saw you at the meeting.
You went into my apartment to get rid of the drugs, didn't you? Yeah.
All this time, I thought you were babysitting just to try to get back with Sierra, man.
I had you all wrong, man.
It's, uh it's okay.
Come here, yo.
(LAUGHS) Lip, I owe you big-time.
- Don't worry about it.
- No, for real.
This guy.
Huh? (LAUGHS) Yo, man.
I appreciate you.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- All right.
- Later, bro.
(SOMBER ROCK MUSIC) (SAW WHIRRING) - (CRYSTAL) You cunt! - (FIONA) I tried to be nice.
Tried to make a deal with you.
But you fucked with the wrong girl! There's your eviction notice.
Got 24 hours to pay up or I call the marshals.
- Thanks, Debs.
- Sure.
- Nice sack.
- Thanks.
(MEL) We doing this? - Romance calls.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, I'm coming for you next, Mrs.
Cardinal.
(MRS.
CARDINAL) Ruff! Ruff, ruff, ruff! Ruff, ruff, ruff! Let's go, Debs.
- (DEBBIE SIGHS) - Whoa.
Is that a hickey? Hmm.
Didn't realize Neil was so wild.
Yeah, something like that.
Your hair looks really good too.
Thanks.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) The hell is that? A plant.
You two are gettin' fuckin' soft on me.