Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s08e02 Episode Script
Whipping Post
Let's get one thing straight.
I'm angry!
Uh, what about?
What about?
About everything.
UhLike what?
LikeGoats.
Stupid goats with their stupid little beards.
Goats are stupid!
The floor is stupid.
What about me?
Stupid?
Mmm, I don't know.
Say something.
UhThe guest is here?
The guest is stupid.
Thank you for having me, ghost.
It's great to have you here!
Isn't it, stupid?
Stupid zorak.
W-w-which one is zorak?
- Tom servo or
- Say what,?
- Wait, I've crossed
- "Arliss."
What's that, now?
I've crossed genres here.
Now, there's a show!
I like the shop you run over here, Space Ghost.
I like the boys you surround yourself with--
that pisses me off!
Look, I do what I want.
Do I make myself clear?
Mm-hmm.
Well, listen-- - do I make myself clear?
Sorry! Hee hee hee.
Already, I've blown it.
Oft times, when I meet people I admire,
oft times, when I meet people
I admire,
you know how you kind of put your
foot in the mouth right off the bat.
Oft times, when I meet people who are retired,
I put my foot in their mouth, and I say, "welcome to venice,
this will be your last meal!"
And what do they say?
"Spaaace ghost!"
Man, am I angry!
I'd better go blow off some steam before I explode on some fool!
Aah!
Hello! Book of postcard stamps, if you please.
Aah!
Wow! Oh, good.
Every time I do something like that, I give myself the hiccups.
You sure are angry tonight.
That's right, zorak.
You know, I like this new side of you.
I think it's boss!
Oh! Then you're gonna love this!
Uh, I'm sorry, what?
So, uh, I'm a big fan of zorak.
It's a hard thing to serve a great man like you.
Mm-hmm.
And oft times, this man is of more
consequence than the man who carries
the torch.
If you like green babies.
"Arliss."
Say something.
Well, I have two sons, 9 and 13.
Sons are the same as kids, right?
Sons are the same as kids, right?
Exactly.
And kids are just dumb, little adults?
You don't have any kids, do you, Space Ghost?
Yeah, I have two sons.
Fifi and Pierre.
I shave their butts out of anger.
And they hate me for it.
That's the shaving noise.
Want to give a shout-out to your two sons?
Marlon, holden, ghost.
Fifi, Pierre, get off the couch!
It is clear they're poodles, right?
"Arliss."
Everyone's talking about me, Dennis.
We've become a nation of people talking about Space Ghost.
Weren't you doing it with that herculade blob for a while?
Weren't you doing it with that herculade blob for a while?
Gloop?
Yes.
Sure was!
Hee hee hee!
It was good, too.
Exactly.
Spaaace
I should be on hbo!
What's their problem?
Hbo has no problem.
You know you're doing this merely as
an audition to get on there, ghost.
That's where it's all happening, all the creativity.
You're saddled over here at the cartoon network.
You know there are certain things you can't say.
Who are you again?
My name is Dennis Miller.
I'm a comedian and a fan of Space Ghost.
And you've come here from the future to kill me.
Hee hee hee.
Right?
- Well, I know that's my m. O., but
- Dennis, you've played
a number of cops.
Tell us how you came to be robo-cop.
The ultimate cop.
Well, listen, I had done a one-man show as Peter weller
called "give 'em hell, Peter"
for years, off Broadway.
Hang on, Peter, I'm way too angry to check out
each off-Broadway production of "robo-cop."
I'll wait until it's on-way.
Broadway?
Could not be further out of the loop.
Hey, arliss, uh, can you, uh-- - aah!
Oh! Unh!
What the?
That was fun.
Oh, great.
Hi, my name is Brak!
The low quality of your name makes me very angry!
Yeah, well, I have a big dent in my heinder.
Ah ha ha ha--ouch.
Nice to see you, uhBrak.
Hee hee hee!
Zorak, will you give me a bath?
No bath here.
So, screw!
Come on!
I'm dirty!
Look at this dirty boy!
Brak is the one who stops in periodically?
That's right, Dennis.
Makes the cameo, like Hitchcock.
Periodically, you'll see him walking through the background.
Hitchcock's the worst director ever.
Did you see "rear window"?
It's all black-and-white, and there are no adult situations!
You know it was just made to sell
toys which you can't find anywhere.
Here's one!
Ha ha ha!
Give it here!
Look at that!
It--it's got a camera!
I hate this and all toys!
Rah!
Look out!
Hey, Space Ghost, how come you're so angry?
What?
You need to mellow.
Yeah, mellow out, friend.
Don't tell me to mellow out!
That'll just make me angrier!
You want to Mel-low.
Mel-low.
Mel-low!
Mel-low.
Mel-low.
Feel better?
Knock it off!
Ho ho, Space Ghost is, like, Mr. angry today.
No, zorak's Mr. angry!
Ho ho, zorak is Mr. relaxed.
Are you relaxed enough to fight?
You know, I think I am.
I'm Mr. clean.
Perhaps you should consider going somewhere.
Where would I go?
Somewhere I'm not!
I'm Mr. mustard!
Like here!
Ha! And here you are.
Now, then, where would you like to go?
I think I'd like to come over there.
I'm Mr. pat sajak!
Wait, I thought I was coming over there.
Oh, brother.
I meant to, anyway.
Now, come on!
All right!
All right, just relax!
I am relaxed!
Relaxed enough to fight?
Pssh!
Aah!
Heh heh.
You areSon of a
Unh!
Didn't hurt.
Can I get my bath now?
Yeah, come here.
I'll give you a bath.
Yeah, boy!
Ha ha ha!
Heh heh heh.
Grr.
Oh, put me down now!
Ha ha!
Moltar, would you like a bath?
Um, I already took one, actually.
Take another one!
Rah!
What about you?
Do you need a bath?
No, I don't, ghost.
Undress me with your eyes, Dennis.
Hee hee hee.
Ok, I just undressed you and quickly redressed you.
What's that now, tom?
Oh, tom's gotta switch tape, and I'm going to run down
the hall and take a quick whiz.
Please do.
You sit comfortably.
Zorak, you seem to have, uh, slim shoulders there.
To think that the most eclectic day of my show business career
that I spoke at Bob hope's 100th birthday
And had to sprint over to do
"Space Ghost."
Hey, I'm back.
I'm back from the hallway.
Hey, have you heard my famous story?
It starts in a couple of minutes.
Beat.
A long beat.
Come on.
Hee hee hee!
What do you need, an edit point, Space Ghost?
The race war had begun.
Machines were building robot babies to replace other babies.
Everyone knows what happened next.
Hee hee hee.
Really-- - written by Space Ghost.
Robots by I.L.M.
And Space Ghost!
George Lucas by Space Ghost!
Hee hee hee.
House lights up.
People leave theater.
Trash everywhere.
Zorak, go clean up the trash while I go re-thread the projector.
Later, Dennis!
Ugh.
I'm angry!
Uh, what about?
What about?
About everything.
UhLike what?
LikeGoats.
Stupid goats with their stupid little beards.
Goats are stupid!
The floor is stupid.
What about me?
Stupid?
Mmm, I don't know.
Say something.
UhThe guest is here?
The guest is stupid.
Thank you for having me, ghost.
It's great to have you here!
Isn't it, stupid?
Stupid zorak.
W-w-which one is zorak?
- Tom servo or
- Say what,?
- Wait, I've crossed
- "Arliss."
What's that, now?
I've crossed genres here.
Now, there's a show!
I like the shop you run over here, Space Ghost.
I like the boys you surround yourself with--
that pisses me off!
Look, I do what I want.
Do I make myself clear?
Mm-hmm.
Well, listen-- - do I make myself clear?
Sorry! Hee hee hee.
Already, I've blown it.
Oft times, when I meet people I admire,
oft times, when I meet people
I admire,
you know how you kind of put your
foot in the mouth right off the bat.
Oft times, when I meet people who are retired,
I put my foot in their mouth, and I say, "welcome to venice,
this will be your last meal!"
And what do they say?
"Spaaace ghost!"
Man, am I angry!
I'd better go blow off some steam before I explode on some fool!
Aah!
Hello! Book of postcard stamps, if you please.
Aah!
Wow! Oh, good.
Every time I do something like that, I give myself the hiccups.
You sure are angry tonight.
That's right, zorak.
You know, I like this new side of you.
I think it's boss!
Oh! Then you're gonna love this!
Uh, I'm sorry, what?
So, uh, I'm a big fan of zorak.
It's a hard thing to serve a great man like you.
Mm-hmm.
And oft times, this man is of more
consequence than the man who carries
the torch.
If you like green babies.
"Arliss."
Say something.
Well, I have two sons, 9 and 13.
Sons are the same as kids, right?
Sons are the same as kids, right?
Exactly.
And kids are just dumb, little adults?
You don't have any kids, do you, Space Ghost?
Yeah, I have two sons.
Fifi and Pierre.
I shave their butts out of anger.
And they hate me for it.
That's the shaving noise.
Want to give a shout-out to your two sons?
Marlon, holden, ghost.
Fifi, Pierre, get off the couch!
It is clear they're poodles, right?
"Arliss."
Everyone's talking about me, Dennis.
We've become a nation of people talking about Space Ghost.
Weren't you doing it with that herculade blob for a while?
Weren't you doing it with that herculade blob for a while?
Gloop?
Yes.
Sure was!
Hee hee hee!
It was good, too.
Exactly.
Spaaace
I should be on hbo!
What's their problem?
Hbo has no problem.
You know you're doing this merely as
an audition to get on there, ghost.
That's where it's all happening, all the creativity.
You're saddled over here at the cartoon network.
You know there are certain things you can't say.
Who are you again?
My name is Dennis Miller.
I'm a comedian and a fan of Space Ghost.
And you've come here from the future to kill me.
Hee hee hee.
Right?
- Well, I know that's my m. O., but
- Dennis, you've played
a number of cops.
Tell us how you came to be robo-cop.
The ultimate cop.
Well, listen, I had done a one-man show as Peter weller
called "give 'em hell, Peter"
for years, off Broadway.
Hang on, Peter, I'm way too angry to check out
each off-Broadway production of "robo-cop."
I'll wait until it's on-way.
Broadway?
Could not be further out of the loop.
Hey, arliss, uh, can you, uh-- - aah!
Oh! Unh!
What the?
That was fun.
Oh, great.
Hi, my name is Brak!
The low quality of your name makes me very angry!
Yeah, well, I have a big dent in my heinder.
Ah ha ha ha--ouch.
Nice to see you, uhBrak.
Hee hee hee!
Zorak, will you give me a bath?
No bath here.
So, screw!
Come on!
I'm dirty!
Look at this dirty boy!
Brak is the one who stops in periodically?
That's right, Dennis.
Makes the cameo, like Hitchcock.
Periodically, you'll see him walking through the background.
Hitchcock's the worst director ever.
Did you see "rear window"?
It's all black-and-white, and there are no adult situations!
You know it was just made to sell
toys which you can't find anywhere.
Here's one!
Ha ha ha!
Give it here!
Look at that!
It--it's got a camera!
I hate this and all toys!
Rah!
Look out!
Hey, Space Ghost, how come you're so angry?
What?
You need to mellow.
Yeah, mellow out, friend.
Don't tell me to mellow out!
That'll just make me angrier!
You want to Mel-low.
Mel-low.
Mel-low!
Mel-low.
Mel-low.
Feel better?
Knock it off!
Ho ho, Space Ghost is, like, Mr. angry today.
No, zorak's Mr. angry!
Ho ho, zorak is Mr. relaxed.
Are you relaxed enough to fight?
You know, I think I am.
I'm Mr. clean.
Perhaps you should consider going somewhere.
Where would I go?
Somewhere I'm not!
I'm Mr. mustard!
Like here!
Ha! And here you are.
Now, then, where would you like to go?
I think I'd like to come over there.
I'm Mr. pat sajak!
Wait, I thought I was coming over there.
Oh, brother.
I meant to, anyway.
Now, come on!
All right!
All right, just relax!
I am relaxed!
Relaxed enough to fight?
Pssh!
Aah!
Heh heh.
You areSon of a
Unh!
Didn't hurt.
Can I get my bath now?
Yeah, come here.
I'll give you a bath.
Yeah, boy!
Ha ha ha!
Heh heh heh.
Grr.
Oh, put me down now!
Ha ha!
Moltar, would you like a bath?
Um, I already took one, actually.
Take another one!
Rah!
What about you?
Do you need a bath?
No, I don't, ghost.
Undress me with your eyes, Dennis.
Hee hee hee.
Ok, I just undressed you and quickly redressed you.
What's that now, tom?
Oh, tom's gotta switch tape, and I'm going to run down
the hall and take a quick whiz.
Please do.
You sit comfortably.
Zorak, you seem to have, uh, slim shoulders there.
To think that the most eclectic day of my show business career
that I spoke at Bob hope's 100th birthday
And had to sprint over to do
"Space Ghost."
Hey, I'm back.
I'm back from the hallway.
Hey, have you heard my famous story?
It starts in a couple of minutes.
Beat.
A long beat.
Come on.
Hee hee hee!
What do you need, an edit point, Space Ghost?
The race war had begun.
Machines were building robot babies to replace other babies.
Everyone knows what happened next.
Hee hee hee.
Really-- - written by Space Ghost.
Robots by I.L.M.
And Space Ghost!
George Lucas by Space Ghost!
Hee hee hee.
House lights up.
People leave theater.
Trash everywhere.
Zorak, go clean up the trash while I go re-thread the projector.
Later, Dennis!
Ugh.