Royal Pains s08e03 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Royal Pains" - I want a baby.
- I want a baby, too.
My motility and sperm count are low.
Low isn't no.
Hank, I want to apply to medical school.
You will be a fantastic doctor.
It would mean that I have to slow down at HankMed.
Eventually quit.
You know that glitch? It's not a technical problem.
So then, what's the issue? We've been hacked.
How many were affected? They were clearly after only one patient record.
Yours.
You really still don't want to know? Please, God, let it be a boy.
Carlos is about to receive his first treatment.
- For what? - My family's disease.
He has the marker too, Hank.
What treatment is he undergoing? I'm off to see him in the morning.
If you were able to join me, I'd Of course.
Consider it done.
So, where is Carlos? Hong Kong.
(UPBEAT MUSIC) So, Hank's probably landed already, in case you want to check in with him about anything.
No, I think I've got it.
Yeah, well, look, it's a full schedule, and unfortunately, I'm in the middle of this hospital renovation.
So I can't call on your medical skills in case of an emergency? No, no, it's just between Hamptons Heritage and HankMed and baby-making, I pretty much have three full-time jobs, and I'm afraid they all suffer.
Tell me about it.
Who knew having it all would be so exhausting? Yeah.
It's funny, I used to complain about the fact that no one treated me like an adult, and now it's reversed.
It's like, everyone's depending on me.
Welcome to being a grown up.
But you don't have to stress about HankMed.
I've covered for Hank before, you know.
Yeah, but not when you were this b when you were this far you should take care of yourself.
That's all I'm saying.
You are grown up.
That's very considerate.
I guess after everything Paige and I have been through I have an appreciation for how precarious pregnancy can be.
REST ASSURED: Jeremiah has the bulk of the patients today.
I'm doing some paperwork and some simple follow-ups.
Oh, all righty, then.
But I thank you for your thoughtfulness, and so does this increasingly restless baby boy.
Wait, boy? - You're having a boy? - I meant I said "baby.
" I said "baby.
" I'm sure that I said "baby.
" Sashi's getting a baby brother? I can't believe it.
Divya, that's so I thought you guys didn't want to know.
We don't.
We didn't want to know I just saw it on the ultrasound, okay? I just I haven't told Raj.
Just please just keep this between us.
I promise.
I promise.
Sashi's getting a baby brother! - Evan.
- Of course.
- It'll be our secret, yeah.
- (PHONE RINGS) HankMed, how can we make you feel better today? I get to show him "Empire Strikes Back" first.
(LAUGHS) (STIRRING MUSIC) I've gotten spoiled by our travels, Boris, but not jaded.
This place is incredible.
City of the future.
You sound almost intimidated.
I am uncomfortably aware of my Old World status here, Hank.
Westerners have blindly mucked about Hong Kong for a long time now.
Skullduggery veiled in false ideals, nothing - Isn't that your forte, navigating the layers of global intrigue? I'm trying to break old habits.
I preferred when my motives for the trip were straightforward.
Ah, you mean, because the best pediatric specialist for Carlos's treatment is here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I chose to launch the drug here, but now, we've added a hidden agenda.
Hey, listen, the hackers who tried to steal your medical records didn't leave you much choice.
We have a simple plan: if someone intends blackmail by threatening to reveal your illness, we'll derail them.
If it proves more complicated than that, we must move on to the next step: discovering who they are and what they want.
That could get messy.
(BLUESY ROCK MUSIC) Are you sure you don't want the groundskeeper to bring his cart around? I'm pregnant, not immobile, but thank you.
Suit yourself.
Mechanic's right over there.
He was fixing Mr.
McTavish's plane when I saw him pass out.
He said it was just the heat, but I got worried.
You were right to call.
Thank you.
Hey, I'm Divya Katdare from HankMed.
How are you feeling? Hi, Win Reynolds.
I'm fine.
Oh, I hear you lost consciousness.
(COUGHS) Can't a grown man take a nap without getting judged? Well, since I'm here, how about I do an exam, all the same? Kind of busy.
Doesn't the owner have a key for that? He's off property at the moment, and this can't wait.
Ah.
Can't say I'm sad to see this plane grounded.
Not a fan of single engines? I'm not a fan of this engine.
I live nearby, and ever since your boss bought this property He's not my boss.
I work for myself.
Well, the noise he makes flying in and out at all hours has been waking up my children.
I'm fixing that.
Right.
Uh, Win Do you have any pre-existing conditions? Asthma, but I really don't have time for an exam.
(DEVICE BEEPING) 101.
You're running a fever.
Yeah, it's a summer bug.
Well, I'd love to stay and chat but I really should get going.
Here's my card.
The owner insisted I get this done before he gets back.
So is that why you cut through his shed, too? Had to get the keys to the plane somehow.
You're not really a mechanic, are you? Not really.
Well, thanks for the concern, Divya from HankMed.
Win, are you stealing this plane? - (ENGINE STARTS) - Repossessing! Hey! Hey! Stop him! That's my plane, stop him! Stop! Hey! I said that's my plane, stop! Hey! (COUGHING) Hey! Hey! (MELLOW MUSIC) - Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- Here he comes.
- And here we go.
(CHUCKLES) - I can't believe it.
- Boris.
How are you? It's been way too long.
Agreed, agreed.
Guy Childs, meet my friend, Hank Lawson.
- How do you do? - Well, nice to meet you.
Boris has told me so much about you, and introduced me to your work.
I'll take it you mean you're not a subscriber to the "Financial Times?" - No, I'm not.
- Brilliant.
We needn't talk business, and I needn't take notes.
I wouldn't rule that out just yet.
Are you still a pole man? Yes, yes I am.
Wonderful.
How's the family, by the way? Don't tell me I'm the only one suffering from the terrible threes.
Your little Drew is taking after his father, then? Mm, more than ever I'm afraid.
And are Marisa and Carlos with you? because Wendy would love us all to take the boat to Turtle Cove.
If they join me, we'd like that.
Wonderful.
Well, let's get to it.
Surely you and Mr.
Lawson didn't invite me to indulge my fetish for clotted cream.
It's Dr.
Lawson, actually.
Oh, are you here for the pharma summit? Yes, we are.
Oh, so, we are working.
It is Hong Kong, after all.
Always on the hustle.
So, Boris, what does your company have up its sleeve? Guy, this afternoon, KJR is introducing a new drug, with wide application for bone and muscle-wasting diseases.
Trial results were so positive its release has been expedited.
Congratulations.
I'm sure your family coffers will further be enriched.
The drug will help many who suffer, Guy.
Boris, if you expect ink from me, you must have more to say.
You know, rumor has it that Marisa is already here.
She's been seen around University Hospital.
My wife's whereabouts are not newsworthy.
Well, they are if you're relocating to Hong Kong.
I mean, the business community would relish the news.
Off the record, Marisa receives job offers from all over, but my family is not part of this announcement.
Absolutely.
Family should be off limits.
But if you are considering a move, Wendy and I would love a chance to entice you.
- I'll keep that in mind.
- Good.
Listen the disclosure Dr.
Lawson will make a few hours from now is of a personal nature.
It could adversely affect my business if not handled with intelligence and nuance.
We'd like you to have it first.
Thank you.
I appreciate your trust.
I am here as Boris's physician to announce that he was patient zero in the clinical trial that brought this drug to market.
The head of KJR Holdings, Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz, has a rare and often deadly genetic disease.
(SOMBER MUSIC) Honey, I'm home.
My God, what are you baking? It smells amazing.
I'd come kiss you, but I'm covered in drywall dust from 3 North.
Is it the administrator's job to personally rewire every floor of the hospital? Workers respond when management shows up in a hard hat now and then, I don't know.
I could respond to a hard hat now and then.
- Then I will go get it.
- Don't you dare go back to work.
- Come here.
- Really? Yeah.
I was going to have a shower, but (PLAYFUL MUSIC) Wow.
Did I do something to deserve this? Oh, you're blues baking.
So, it's actually something I didn't do.
No, no, no.
Don't go there.
Yes, we're still not pregnant, but this isn't about you.
Right.
- It's about us.
- Yes.
And we need to keep trying.
Oh, sounds like baking cheered you up, at least.
Ah, you cheered me up.
Well, I know it's not easy, having to have a superhuman amount of sex - Great sex.
- For eight whole months.
I know.
Boo hoo.
How long can we keep this up? I don't know.
Should we have our cake and eat it too? - (LAUGHS) - Oh, my God, yes.
Again, again, Mr.
Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz may never develop symptoms of his disease.
With this new drug regimen, he will be fully capable of continuing to run his companies.
Now, if you'll excuse me, thank you.
- Oh! - Oh.
Um (LAUGHING) Oh, man.
Your Cantonese is worse than mine.
You're an American.
So are you.
Yeah, that was the extent of my Cantonese.
- Amy Chang.
- Hank Lawson, nice to meet you.
Oh, okay.
So you're the doctor that caused the big stir at the KJR seminar.
- Oh.
- Yeah, you totally took all the interest away from my panel.
Oh, now I really need to apologize.
No, I'm giving you a hard time, Dr.
Lawson.
My work is my first love, but even I know it's really not the most accessible topic.
Please, it's Hank.
What's your specialty? Well, I study the role CHCHD2 mutations play in certain autosomal-dominant disorders.
Huh.
No idea what you just said.
I told you.
- Are you university-based? - Yeah, Berkeley.
But most of my funding comes from Branch Pharmaceuticals.
- Your boss's main competition.
- Right.
Don't look now, but I think you're flirting with the enemy.
One, glad you noticed.
Two, I wish your panel had been scheduled for later.
Sounds like I might have learned a thing or two.
Oh no, I always insist on presenting first.
That way I can ditch, and then I just read everybody else's papers on the flight home.
- Oh.
- Till then, Hong Kong beckons.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're just going to blow off the rest of the conference? You're not? (PLAYFUL MUSIC) God, I haven't played hooky in, like well, I've never played hooky.
Where should we go first? The Peak? Kowloon? - I want to see it all.
- Yeah.
No maps.
You've been to Hong Kong before? No, but we only have 48 hours here.
You don't want to spend it with your nose stuck in a map.
Well, how's your sense of direction? Worse than Columbus.
But that didn't stop him.
(LAUGHS) All right.
What are we waiting for? Then my parents get home and the yelling really starts.
And the whole time, they're yelling at her, not me.
I get off scot free.
(BOTH LAUGH) Oh, man, she held that against me for like a really long time.
- Are you guys still close? - Yeah.
She lives in Atlanta now.
Try to make it down there when I can.
For me, family always comes first.
Yeah, me too.
Oh, my God! Look! Oh! Oh.
- Look at this guy! - Yeah, yeah.
I have to have him.
Yeah, for your aquarium, or for lunch? For protection.
Look how fierce he is.
- Look at that.
- He's fierce.
You think they'll let me bring him back to the States? I don't know about Berkeley, but I bet he'd love the Hamptons.
(LAUGHS) Actually, I'm moving to New York.
You're kidding.
No, I'm opening up a research lab at NYU next month.
(MELLOW GUITAR MUSIC) (SPEAKING CANTONESE) - (SPEAKS CANTONESE) - (SPEAKS CANTONESE) Hey, I thought you didn't speak the language.
Don't be too impressed.
I speak food.
And, really, that's all I need to know.
That is all you need.
From the sounds of it, you have quite the appetite.
I actually think that the best way to learn about a culture is through their food.
Although I do like to run it off afterwards.
Okay, brilliant researcher - Uh-huh.
- Off-map explorer, fluent in Chinese food, and you like to run.
Mm-hmm.
What's the catch, Amy Chang? You tell me.
I think you may be too good to be true.
(UPBEAT MUSIC) (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Looks like I found HankMed.
- Come in, Win.
- (COUGHS) I thought you'd be long gone by now.
As much as I like flying off into the sunset, I feel worse, and the job's not done.
McTavish is overextended in more ways than one.
Please, sit.
(COUGHS) (SIGHS) His yacht, "Call Me Richmael," docked at his estate late last night.
Melville puns aside, she is my white whale.
I've chased that beauty from St.
Tropez to St.
Bart's, always a half step behind her deadbeat owner.
Deep breath, please.
(EXHALES) Now I've finally got her in my sights.
And you don't want to be medically sidelined.
I got a splitting headache.
My neck is stiff and killing me.
(DEVICE BEEPING) That could be a sign of a serious infection, and your fever's worse.
Any chance you can give me something to get me through the next couple days? Before I prescribe anything, I'd like to do some tests.
Uh, the surgical mask? Is that really necessary? It's just a precaution.
Okay, hold steady.
Good.
So, you're a repo man.
Reclamation specialist.
"Repo man" sounds so sleazy.
I'm not some parasite who preys on the average Joe's misfortunes.
But the well-off are fair game? Hey, I only go after people who spend money they don't have.
(COUGHS) Please, please.
Try not to cough.
I need you still.
Jets, yachts, helicopters, I've reclaimed 'em all.
I'm basically Robin Hood.
Taking from the rich And giving to the banks? I spent four years flying F-22s to defend folks' right to make money.
The least they can do is pay their bills.
Especially these uber-wealthy wannabes.
You were in the Air Force? Yeah, after I got out, I wanted that same sense of adventure.
Decided it was time to do something for myself.
Well, I know that feeling.
I'm starting medical school in the fall.
You mean you haven't been to medical school? Why the hell am I letting you stick a needle into my spine? (LAUGHS) Don't worry, I'm a physician assistant.
I'm trained to do this.
Your spinal fluid looks clear, but I'm worried about meningitis, given the neck rigidity and the high fever.
Only a lab can rule that out, and the crackling in your lungs is worrying, too.
I've got you on antibiotics and steroids, but we need to hospitalize you.
No.
No can do.
Okay, Win, your symptoms are concerning.
We need to do a further work-up to see what's going on.
So let me know if there's something worrisome in the lab results.
Please don't make me throw my pregnant body in front of that door.
Sorry, Divya.
I'm on the clock.
You could just take that thingy off.
(UPBEAT MUSIC) I could get used to this view.
But maybe not the heat.
I thought that was just us.
(CHUCKLES) So, why NYU? I just want a change, you know? I mean, Berkeley's really good to me, but I think I just got a little too comfortable there.
Okay, you have something against comfort.
Making a note.
It's time for a challenge.
That, or I'm throwing away a shot at tenure and possibly making the worst mistake of my life.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING) Please, answer that before I start revealing all of my insecurities.
(SIGHS) Hello? Good morning, Hank.
Boris.
Is everything okay? We need to meet.
Is there more to be done? Are you free for a stroll? Uh, can it wait? I'll see you in an hour.
Guess not.
You have to work? I need to meet with a colleague.
We're down to our last 18 hours in Hong Kong, though.
And the last seven of them definitely were not a waste.
Can I talk you out of whatever you just scheduled? Does talking have to be involved? (UPBEAT MUSIC) Hi, Divya.
Hi.
If you're looking for Evan, he's still at the hospital.
Actually, I was looking for you.
- Cup of tea? - Sure.
I feel terrible coming to you instead of Evan, but I just don't want to stress him out.
He's so busy at work, retrofitting the electrical system.
Please, tell me.
I'm all ears.
Well, all ears and a belly.
No, you look great.
The problem is, I'm still not in your shape, after all of these months of trying.
I'm sure that must be frustrating, and, oh, gosh, feel unfair, especially since I was the one who was supposed to have trouble getting pregnant.
I'm so happy it worked out for you.
And it will for you.
I'm sure you two will find a way.
I've been thinking about IVF, but I'm worried about how to bring it up with Evan.
Why? Well, you know how sensitive he is, and he already feels bad about his low motility.
Low motility is precisely why IVF could be the best idea.
But from what I've read, a lot of men can have reservations about it.
- Why is that? - Oh, you know, it bruises their fragile egos, or minimizes their role or something.
And Evan has been such a good sport through all this.
Okay, listen.
I know Evan has loads of insecurities.
I've had hours of fun poking at them, so I understand your concern, but not all men feel that way about IVF.
- What do you mean? - Raj.
His twins are a result of in vitro fertilization, but in his case, it was Karen who had problems conceiving.
So he's been through the process, and he's never been shy about sharing it.
So, if he spoke to Evan Or, what if we had you guys over for dinner, like we've been saying we should do? Then we could steer the conversation that way, and Raj could take over naturally.
Yes.
Are you free tonight? Yes.
Should we bring dessert? No, no.
Dessert, we have.
Just bring your lovely sperm donor.
I mean, husband.
(LAUGHS) You've had a busy morning? Apparently, so have you.
I'm glad Carlos is able to join us.
I think we can speak candidly.
I'm not wearing a wire, although I can't vouch for who may have been dressing or undressing you.
Oh.
Of course I'm not wired.
I just don't fully understand why we are walking out here like this.
Our announcement has provoked interest.
So our plan must continue.
Guy Childs called me.
He's heard doubts from some of my competitors about my illness.
They're demanding DNA proof.
Did he say which competitors? No, but according to him, the Chinese are suddenly eager to partner in research where my genetic material could prove useful.
So there are two possible adversaries after your DNA? Three, perhaps.
Remember what I said about westerners in Hong Kong? You think it could be Guy? Asian Pulitzers aside, I've always wondered if he was merely a journalist.
Both rumors were filtered through him.
So we need to stay one step ahead of Guy to see if your suspicions are right? Yeah, I believe I know how to force his hand.
I wish there were some other way to appear to give him what he wants.
I may be able to help with that.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (UPBEAT MUSIC) Code says we need outlets every eight feet, but the conduit through here is all jacked up.
My guy's gotta rewire the whole frickin' room.
Okay, Phil, just relax, okay? It's not like the sky is falling.
Sorry, sorry, sorry! Just the ceiling.
You got company, Mr.
Lawson.
Huh? Oh.
Hey.
- There you are.
- Divya, hi.
- Hey.
- What are you doing here? I heard you were down here.
I was checking in on a patient.
Big fan of "Bob the Builder?" Oh, Paige she actually finds it sexually arousing.
Way too much information.
- Well - Yeah, so, tonight, Raj and I, double date? Yes, Paige texted me.
It sounds awesome.
We've been meaning to have you guys over for forever.
- Oh, damn it.
- What? (SIGHS) A patient.
He refuses to come in for a full work-up, and he's clearly sick with something serious.
All his tests have come back negative, though, and I just I can't quite figure out what's wrong with him.
- Heads up, guys! - Is he Okay, guys, guys! First of all, there's a pregnant woman standing right there.
Second of all, what about your own safety? Come on, eye protection.
Respirators.
Like, what (COUGHS) Look at all this dust you're making.
Sorry, Mr.
Lawson.
But don't worry.
None of this stuff is hazardous.
Okay, just humor me, okay? Phil, I need you guys here, not laid up in the ER.
All right? Thanks, can you do that? Evan? You're a lifesaver.
Yeah.
Huh? (STIRRING MUSIC) Hey, I can't come to the phone right now, so leave a message.
Hey, Win, it's me again.
Pick up.
Listen, I'm at the McTavish estate.
I thought you'd be here trying to catch your big whale, but Never mind.
Oh, God.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) Win! Win.
Oh, my gosh, what happened? I finally had her in my grasp, and then I got woozy and the saw slipped, and I cut off my finger.
- Favorite one, too.
- Okay.
All right, let's put pressure back on that.
Uh-huh.
I don't think your loss of blood is the only thing making you woozy.
All of the fumes you've been breathing in while you've been cutting through metal, they've given you metal fume fever.
It explains the high fever and the neck pain and the fluid in your lungs.
I think I'm gonna pass out.
Okay, if you're gonna do that, let's do it over here, okay? Otherwise, I'm not going to be able to reach you.
I'll do my best.
Oh.
Oh.
Yes, I have a patient with a traumatic finger amputation who is tachycardic at 24 Sagaponack Lane.
- Okay.
- Okay, stay put, stay put.
Now, do you know what happened to the finger? Could it have gone in the water? Maybe.
Do fingers float? Apparently they do.
You're lucky that it cut so close to the hand.
That's best for replantation.
- Win? - (GROANS) Win! All right, Win, okay.
Stay with me, all right? Yeah, yeah.
Distended neck veins, muffled heart sounds Pulsus paradoxus.
Beck's triad.
You're good, Win.
Stay with me, okay? Cardiac tamponade.
Okay, okay.
Got to relieve the pressure around your heart.
There.
(INHALES DEEPLY) (GROANS) Now I'm taking you to the hospital.
Any chance we can go by yacht? Sorry.
(SIREN WAILING) (MELLOW MUSIC) Vamanos, mi amor.
If he wakes up, this is his favorite teddy bear.
Marisa.
I'll get the elevator.
Don't worry.
I just hate to leave Carlitos alone.
You'll be back before he wakes up.
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) - (GIGGLES) - What? Hi, Daddy! Drew, what are you doing here? He's taking a nap.
Before his play date.
I'm taking a nap! It's okay, Drew.
Boris, you know I would never harm Carlos.
You just needed to draw his blood.
I still can't you took my son.
Borrowed.
He seems fond of Boris.
I'd ask who you are working for, if I thought you knew.
This isn't our fathers' Hong Kong.
Players insulate themselves with so many go-betweens.
I'm over-extended, journalism pays crap, and they swore to me that they would mean you no harm.
What a relief.
Whoever they are, if someone is intent on getting your DNA, why not accommodate them? That's an intriguing idea, since I have nothing to hide.
May we? Of course.
You can swear you took this blood yourself.
We'll keep it between us that your intentions were interrupted.
That works for me.
I'm sure that it does.
Yes, well Are you sure you have no reservation about sharing this? - Should I? - Someone thinks you do.
Perhaps you can help us figure out who that person might be.
I'll do whatever I can.
Truly, I've always considered you my friend, Boris.
More's the pity.
(DARK MUSIC) (UPBEAT MUSIC) (KEYS CLACKING) - Hey! - Hey.
I was so happy to get your text.
Can you really help me? Yeah, of course well, if I'm manning the grill, I'd better be selecting the lamb chops.
As you know, I can be quite particular about the marbling.
(CHUCKLES) I'm surprised you could get off early.
Yeah, well, I've been working late all week.
If I can't help my wife get ready for a dinner party, what kind of husband am I? The kind who is also trying to be a good boss? I'm actually nailing it in the boss department.
Everything hospital-wise is running smoothly.
(TYPING ON PHONE) (MESSAGE SENDS) I'm all yours.
Two full-time jobs and you still have time for us.
How are you pulling this off? To be honest, I-I-I've been ignoring HankMed.
- Oh.
- A lot.
Yeah, I just can't figure out how to juggle it all.
Okay, so it's two out of three.
That's not bad.
Yeah, yeah, two out of three I can handle.
As long as you rotate which two are getting your attention, you're fine.
But that would mean every few days, the family man would be the odd man out.
How do you feel about that? As long as it's only every few days, I can live with that.
Me too.
I hope.
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC) All right, let's buy some lamb chops.
Okay, I'm so excited to see Raj and Divya.
Oh, my God.
You can keep a secret, right? - Yeah.
- You swear to God? - Yeah.
- All right.
Don't ever tell anyone I told you this, including her.
They're flying you to Manhattan for the surgery.
Your finger's no worse for the wear, and thankfully, you're still in the time frame for replantation.
Is it too late to attach bolt cutters instead? You'll also be given supportive therapy for the metal fume fever, and your effusions of the lungs and the chest will clear in a few days with the right medication.
- Stop for a sec.
- Mm-hmm.
Never thought I'd get sick from cutting through metal.
Not that I am one to endorse breaking and entering, but if you use a respirator, this won't happen again.
And the mask, it's necessary.
Eh, kinda ruins my impossibly dashing image.
- Really, Win? - Kidding, I'm kidding.
I'll I'll wear the mask.
Divya, thank you.
My white whale lives to fight another day, but so do I.
And I owe you one.
You take care of yourself.
You think they'll let me fly the helicopter back to the city? Not with nine fingers.
I could fly with nine.
Could fly with eight fingers.
- Bye.
- Could fly with my feet.
- Bye.
- Okay, bye.
(UPBEAT MUSIC) So, I am 100% certain that a finger will not float, but I'm glancing into the water, so he won't freak out, and there it is.
Like, right in front of me.
- The finger? - Mm-hmm.
- Just floating in the water? - Yeah.
Oh, my God.
If I ever lose a finger - Make sure it's in open water.
- Just not rapids.
Or quicksand.
Avoid quicksand.
Yes, quicksand would be bad.
You know, modern medicine today, it's amazing.
It's given us so many options that were unthinkable before.
Mm-hmm.
So, you would agree, Raj? Absolutely.
My life's been totally changed.
That arthroscopic knee surgery saved me.
- Oh, you had that? - Yeah.
Yeah, and look at all the advances in sports surgeries, too.
Tommy John has totally transformed the MLB.
- Totally.
- What about the twins? Are the twins into baseball yet, Raj? Well, I hate to brag, but even at age two, Cal rolls a mean curve ball.
Aw, they're so adorable, and even-tempered.
Have they always been so easy? - Well - Actually, no.
But Divya and I have a pact not to talk endlessly about our kids.
- It can get tiresome.
- I like that pact.
Oh, no, but I love to hear about kids, and where they came from.
Yes, Raj, why don't you tell us how Bea and Cal began? Um, that could get a little personal, now.
Not at all.
Unless you believe intimacy belongs in the Petri dish.
Oh, your kids are the result of - IVF.
- IVF.
What was it like? Well, if you really want to hear about it Yeah, why don't you tell us all about it? Well, all of it may not be fitting for the end of such a lovely meal.
It's not really something a man can be proud of.
Never have I felt less essential.
Really? How come? Where to begin? The sticky old-school magazines in the deposit room? The nurse actually called it "the deposit room.
" Oh, my God, I'm having PTSD from the time I donated sperm.
There was no way I was gonna touch that remote, I'll tell you.
Luckily, that short-lived moment led to Months of Karen crazed on hormones! Suddenly I was shacked up with a category 5 cyclone.
- I felt hormonal.
- Yeah, well, yeah One night, we'd run out of whipped cream, her best stabilizer, and I was in a race against time with the mixer on ten, and I got the spoon twisted up in the blades - That's funny.
- And I went outside and howled at the moon.
Not my finest hour.
It may, in fact, well have been the beginning of the end for us.
Yeah, well, it's over now, and, uh, you got two great kids out of the bargain, so And I couldn't love them more.
Though sometimes I still do hold it against them.
- Wow, that's rough, man.
- I'm not proud of it.
Yeah, does anyone want any more coffee? No, I think it's late.
We have to go.
Is it? I mean, it's not even Why don't you take some pie with you? I believe I owe the success of this venture to you, Hank.
Oh, it was a team effort.
I would not have conceived of the improvised implant.
Well, med school pranks can still be useful.
It fits just below the epidermal layer.
How long before someone realizes it's my blood, not yours? We'll see.
Their next move could tip their hand.
Do you know who it is? Unfortunately, at this moment, I can imagine only one possibility.
And you won't tell me.
Because you think I can't be trusted with that information? No, because I pray that I'm wrong.
- Azul.
- Mm-hmm.
- Amarillo.
LA BURGER - Uh-huh.
Y uno amarillo asi Oh! Aww.
Uno, dos BOTH: Tres, quatro! (BOTH SPEAKING SPANISH) It's wonderful to see Carlos is doing so well.
The pediatrician is quite optimistic.
They've found an effective dose with no side effects.
Your family's disease may finally be under control.
Well, my generation may well be the last, Hank.
That is something I dared not HOPE FOR: a future for my son.
And his father.
Thank you, Hank.
I'm happy I could help.
Look at that.
Perhaps this city has it right, Hank.
Shed the past, move on.
- You sound hopeful.
- Ah.
A new sensation for me.
I shall attempt to get used to it.
Now that my family can look forward, I appreciate the restless momentum of Hong Kong.
I dare say, I feel a part of it.
Sounds like you're ready for a night on the town.
Will you join us? I'd love to, but tonight I have my own forward momentum to ensure.
Oh.
I had her background-checked.
She is as she appears.
I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.
Papa! Mira! Carlitos.
Es un mono azul.
Mono.
- That was a great dinner.
- Yeah.
You know what? We should hang out with those guys more often.
Absolutely.
- I've always liked Raj.
- Me, too.
I was kind of surprised by his IVF rant, though.
Well, I think he was joking.
I mean, we did kill two bottles of red.
No, he just sounded a little insecure.
Us guys can have such fragile egos.
Really? About IVF? Yeah.
It's just one more viable way of making a baby.
Totally.
It's all about when you're ready.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You know I think I might be ready.
Well, that's awesome.
- Are you ready? - Oh, I've been ready for a couple of months now.
You know, with low motility, it's recommended, right? Why didn't you say something? Because, you're the one who's gonna have to take all the drugs and have the procedures.
I couldn't push that on you.
You know, this one had to be your call.
That is so considerate.
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC) Thank you for letting me come to this on my own.
I should never sell you short.
What does that mean? Nothing.
It means I love you.
I am gonna ask Raj to lunch, see if I can make him feel better about himself.
That is a great idea.
Very thoughtful.
Why don't you text him? And I will let Divya know what a perfect evening we had.
Okay.
(PHONE KEYS CLACKING) (STIRRING MUSIC) I still can't believe we met halfway around the world, and we'll practically be living next to one another in a month.
You can't believe it? I haven't even started packing yet.
Well, once you're settled in, I'd love to show you around the Hamptons.
No maps needed.
Look, Hank, like I said, my work comes first.
- Oh.
- I mean, this has been great.
And you're great.
Ah, it's just the research environment at NYU is just incredibly competitive.
And you won't have time to play hooky.
Not if I want to stay ahead.
Well, thanks for teaching me how.
Once my workload's settled, I could probably steal a few hours here and there.
I could meet you halfway.
I don't think so.
I'm looking for something that goes beyond a few hours here and there, adds up to months, hopefully years, and then, well, forever.
You're a good guy.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
Thank you.
And we'll always have Hong Kong.
(LAUGHS) I guess I am too good to be true.
Yeah, well, we still have another five hours for you to prove that.
- (LAUGHS) - No pressure, no pressure.
(POP MUSIC) (DARK MUSIC) - - Danke.