The Croods: Family Tree (2021) s08e04 Episode Script

1
There it is, Hope.
The rare and elusive cantaplum.
Should we succeed
in procuring it,
this moment will,
without question,
endure as the single most
important occurrence
of our lives.
-We just had a baby.
-After the birth of Phil Jr.
-Her name is Dawn!
-I never agreed to that!
Here's an idea,
why don't we let her decide?
Hello, female infant.
This is Phil Betterman speaking.
Oh, you're asleep.
Well, rise, barely formed
humanoid layabout,
and stop wasting
precious moments
of your all-too-fragile life!
Phil!
-Sorry.
Now, as soon as
that cantaplum turns red--
Ah! It's red! It's red!
-Run, Hope!
-I'm holding Dawn!
-Ah! Must I do everything?!
Cantaplum!
It's okay, Dawn.
I'm sure your father is fine.
Another full fruit fail.
But don't worry, dear.
-I'm not worried.
-Yes, you are.
But we'll get a cantaplum if
it's the last thing we ever do.
Isn't that right, Phil Jr.?
-Dawn! Her name is Dawn!
-Never!
- Let's live wild, the
world's our own
We built this wheel
now it's gunna roll
You know a spark
becomes a fire wherever we go
Whoa-ho-ho
Stuck together,
stuck, stuck together
It's an evolution
for worse or for better
To find some unity
For all humanity
Because we're stuck
together
In one big family tree
Eep's had a lot
of trouble on this course today.
One can only imagine
what's going through her head
as she lines up--
-Dawn? You mind?
-Sorry.
-Come on, Eep.
You got this, whatever this is.
Aww.
-And, like my dad's back,
it appears Eep has buckled
under the pressure.
-Wait, look!
-It's in the mouth!
It's in the mouth!
-Well,
18 holes is a nice round number,
so I guess we're done playing,
um,
what are we calling this game?
Golf.
-Golf! Best game name ever!
-Ugh. Beetball. Ugh.
I need to rinse my mouth out
with pie.
So, Thunk and Guy didn't
wanna play golf?
-Nah, they went hunting
with Gran and Sandy.
-Shh.
Huh?
-Not that I'm complaining,
but I'm shocked Phil
also didn't wanna play.
I mean,
golf was made for him.
No running, no lifting,
it takes forever--
-And for some reason,
it makes you feel like you're
better than other people
when you play it.
-Phil does love that feeling.
But it's cantaplum season.
-Canta-whaaa?
-Cantaplum. It's a fruit.
And once a year,
Dad makes us go
into the middle
of the woods with him,
so he can pick one.
-Well,
so he can tryto pick one.
But he never pulls it off.
-No? Why not?
-Pfft, 'cause he's Phil. Ha!
Betterman Burn!
-Right, and because only
one cantaplum grows at a time,
and every animal alive
would kill to get it.
-All that for some fruit?
There's plenty of fruit
on the farm.
Mm, mm. Papaynapple.
- That's a banana.
- Good one!
Why'd ya hit
my strawpeary?
-A cantaplum is no mere fruit,
you intellectual sinkhole.
It's an edible epiphany.
I tasted one once
when I was a youth.
I was doing what any carefree
and rebellious boy
my age would,
documenting
the spore propagation
of varied exotic fungi.
I parted the foliage
and found myself witness
to a beastly skirmish.
But what was the cause
of this savage dispute?
After one bite,
it all became clear.
This was a fruit worth
any sacrifice.
So haunted am I by the memory
of that one blissful bite,
I refuse to relent
until I once again
feel the cantaplum's
sweet embrace.
That didn't happen.
-Of course, it did!
The cantaplum is real
and it's delicious!
As are my heartfelt feelings
about it!
-I believe that part.
It's the you catching it
part I don't buy.
-What?! Why?!
-Uh, uh, ah! Ugh. Oh, please.
That throw was aimless
and uncatchable.
-Was it, though?
-Sounds like
you could use our help
if you wanna score
that cantaplum this time, Phil.
-Yes! That's a way better idea
than failing again.
-Absolutely not.
-Why?
-Because it's Phil.
It's like I always say,
"No, I don't wanna help Phil."
-Good, because I don't
want you helping me either.
I said I didn't wanna
help you first!
-Ah, cursed chronology!
Hope, Dawn, follow me.
The cantaplum ripening
is imminent
and there's much work
to be done.
-I just hope it's
a quick failure this time.
-That's the spirit, Mom!
-Well, now I'm curious
to know if that
cantaplum juice
is worth the squeeze.
-How curious?
-Before we endeavor to procure
a real cantaplum this year,
I thought we should
do a dry-run.
Behold, the Betterman Cantaplum
Catch & Keep Course.
Please hold your applause.
-Thank you.
-Wait, is that strawberry
tied to a stick
supposed to be a cantaplum tree?
-And is it supposed to look sad?
Don't worry, little tree.
You'll grow.
Unless you get chopped down.
-And what about the animals?
You know, the snarling things
with the claws and the teeth
that are also trying to get
the cantaplum?
-Phil Betterman has thought of
everything. As always.
My Cantaplum Catch & Keep Course
is equipped with flawless mobile
replicas of every creature,
great and small, that we could
possibly encounter.
Terrifying, isn't it?
-How much time
you've spent on this?
Definitely. And while
I appreciate your efforts
with whatever this is--
-I just told you
it's the Cantaplum Catch
& Keep Course!
-I don't think
it's going to help.
But you know what would help?
-The Croods!
-Nonsense.
They lack the nimble dexterity
required for the task.
Now watch as I weave my way
through this gauntlet
and pluck that plum.
Fine. The Croods--
Help!
-I just think
you're being unreasonable.
-Yeah, Dad. Getting a cantaplum
sounds like a blast.
There's adventure, there's
dangerous animals, there's food!
-Yeah, but there's also Phil.
And even a little Phil
ruins everything.
It's like I always say,
"Even a little Phil
ruins everything."
-And the bananas.
Tell us the story with those.
-They taste terrible!
-Then stop eating them.
-It's, it's not the bananas.
Everything tastes bad
because Phil told us
about those stupid cantaplums,
and now my stupid mouth
doesn't wanna eat
anything stupid else.
-Okaaay,
so should we help Phil
get a cantaplum
like I suggested?
-What makes you say that?
-You!
-Right.
I'll bring the road bananas.
I'm sorry, old friend. So sorry!
-I think it's nice we're all
doing this together this year.
-Well, we kinda had to
after Dad and Phil melted down.
-Enough mindless chatter!
Keep the air clear
for mission communications only.
My Betterman Back Basket
got stuck on a branch.
-Ha! You got branched!
-Why don't you paint
a cave painting?
It'll last longer!
-Good call, Phil.
But I didn't bring
any painting supplies.
-Ooh! Maybe Dad has
some in his Back Basket!
-Hey, Dad? Do you have--
-I was being facetious!
Now get me down!
-What's in that thing, anyway?
-Emergency supplies
such as water,
a Dare-A-Chute,
and Betterman Better Balm,
a lipid-based compound applied
to one's lips to avoid chapping.
-So gross.
-To you.
Because you've turned your back
on your tragic, parched lips.
-Mm?
-Now, getting the cantaplum
isn't going to be easy.
-You'd know, Phil.
'Cause you've failed every time.
- Ha! Cantaplum burn!
- Ah!
-Let's make that
the last time you do that, okay?
- Do what? You mean this?
- Ah!
-Ugh, as I was saying,
it's not going to be easy.
But it can be done.
Because I have a plan.
-Agh, here it comes. The "plan."
-Does the plan have a lot
of big words and moving parts?
Pay attention!
The plan has a lot of big words
and moving parts.
Step one,
when the cantaplum turns red,
I will launch a diversion
to distract the animals.
Any questions
before I move on to step two?
-Yes. What's step one?
-and that's step one. Again.
Do you get it now, Grug?
-Completely.
-Excellent.
Step two,
with the animals' attention
now on said diversion, I strike.
Any questions?
-Actually, can we circle back
to step one?
Specifically, what is it?
Same question for step two.
Step one.
And that brings us
to step three.
The Croods will lead
the savage animal horde astray,
leaving the Bettermans free
to safely return
to the farm without incident.
Any questions before I move on
to the next step?
Step four,
once the cantaplum reaches
the safe confines of the farm,
there's only one thing left
to do with it.
-Yeah, eat it!
-Wrong!
Bury it. And in just
six to nine short moons,
all of us shall partake in
the literal fruit of our labor.
Because fruit. And we'll never
want for cantaplums ever again.
Thanks to me.
-So, we're the bait?
Hm?
-No more questions!
-What?!
So you're saying
I won't taste a cantaplum
for six to nine moons?
-Six to nine shortmoons, yes.
-I'm out.
Mm I'm back in!
-Rest assured, my plan is
foolproof if we all do our part.
Remember,
there's no "can't" in cantaplum.
-Uhh, yeah, there is.
-Lost cause, honey. Let it go.
-Paddle wet left
a.k.a. dry right!
There it is.
Cantaplum,
in all its juicy glory!
-Great! So,
what are we waitin' for?
Not yet!
The fruit must turn red
before we pick it
or it will taste like foot.
It's a very demanding fruit.
-Where are all the animals,
Phil?
You said this place
would be crawling with them.
-Ooh, they're here.
Waiting to pounce.
You just have to listen.
That's a bearacuda.
That's a tigerangutan.
That's a scorpulion.
-And that's a Grugtummy.
- Grugtummy so hungry!
- Silence!
The ripening is upon us!
Time for step one.
-Phil, what is that?
-It's step one! Did any of you
listen to a word I said today?
- No.
- Fine!
Once the cantaplum turns red,
I will use
the Betterman Light Launcher
to illuminate the sky
with a bouquet of color,
thus distracting the animals
and providing me
unimpeded access to the fruit.
-Bad idea.
I should grab the fruit.
-Veer from the plan?
And why would we do that?
-Because you're a little droppy.
-Victory is in my grasp--Ah!
-Phil,
could you bring in the soup?
Gladly, dear!
These chemicals
are highly volatile,
Dawn, so we just have to--
Run!
It's possible I've let a few,
uh, insignificant things
slip through my fingers.
-You dropped me
on our wedding night, Phil.
Am Iinsignificant?
-Anything but, my dear!
The point is, I would never
drop the cantaplum.
Or my wife again.
Besides, youcertainly
can't carry the cantaplum.
Your caveman brain
doesn't have the ability
to delay gratification.
-Hm?
-You. Are. Impatient.
-Hm?
Are ya done yet?!
-Grug!
- Done yet?!
- Grug!
-Done yet?! Ah!
-Grug!
-Yeah, but that was years ago.
-It was hours ago.
-Uh, we might have
to talk time another time
because the cantaplum
is turning red!
-Time for step two.
Gah!
After all this time,
you're finally--
-Mine!
-Agh!
-Dad, what are you doing?!
-I'm saving the cantaplum!
We can't trust
Phil's fumble fingers!
-Nor can we trust
that Grugtummy!
-Is this a step?
-Yes, it's the step
where Grug ignores the steps.
Ah!
Watch out!
-And now, we're on the step
where we save Phil and Grug.
-From the animals
and each other.
-Phil was right.
You do look tasty.
But don't worry, Plummy,
Grug's gonna get you home.
No, Phil is!
-Agh! Round things!
-And that's your plum-uppance!
Ha!
Ah, ah, ah, ah! Come on, hands,
defy expectations!
-Ah!
-Canta very much!
-"Canta very much"? How lazy!
-Mmm! Aw, who am I kiddin'?
I'm eatin' this thing!
Ahh--Ooh!
Get it off, get it off!
-Don't call it a comeback.
'Cause it's a plum-back!
Ah, ah, ah, ah! Ah!
Gotcha! Sticky fingers!
Gah!
Get me out!
I've been rock-rolled!
Got yer plum and takin' it!
-Seriously?!
You're not even trying now!
Plum and get it! See?
Decent wordplay's not that hard!
-Hole in one Phil! Ha!
No!
What does that even mean?!
-Ah! Quicksand!
-Ha!
Plum's up! Yes!
I'm the GOAT,
but I'm not agoat!
Gah! A dead end.
Not to fear, fruit friend!
Nothing can deter Phil Betterman
from his delicious destiny!
-Outhouse? Try inhouse! Ha!
-Complete gibberish.
You're actually
getting worse at witticisms.
-Whatever.
Just fork over the cantaplum.
-Ah. Better. But not much.
Also, never!
I'll cling to this cantaplum
like an unwanted memory!
-Gah!
What are you made of, glue?!
Drop it! Drop it!
-No! I'll prolong this forever
like an awkward conversation!
-Oh, good. They're working
things out on their own.
Grug, put Phil down!
-No!
-I'll handle this, Ugga.
Phil!
Stop being so clingy!
GRUG, PHIL: Ow!
-Dad! Phil!
You don't need to fight!
-Or whatever you call that.
-If you're saying
we should work together,
that's not gonna happen!
-It most certainly won't!
-Dad,
you don't have to work together.
You just have to stop
working against each other.
-We have the cantaplum.
Now, let's just get it back
to the farm.
-Now.
Before the animals catch up.
-Perhaps we could declare
a fruit truce
for the greater good.
-I guess.
But who's gonna carry
the cantaplum?
-I will.
'Cause I'm not one of you.
-Very well.
Because it's not Grug.
-And also
very well 'cause it's not Phil.
So, cough up the cantaplum,
Phil.
I'llgive it to Eep,
so youdon't drop it.
-No! I'llgive it to Eep,
so youdon't eat it!
No!
-I'm jumping!
-Plum plunge!
-Gah! They were so close
to setting a good example.
-Yep.
So, you guys wanna grab lunch?
-Mom.
- Afterwe rescue them,
of course.
-Great! Now we're gonna
smash into the ground!
-Just deploy your Dare-A-Chute!
-Hm?
Ooh!
-Dare-A-Chute?!
But I didn't bring a--
Oof, uh, yah, gah, another yah!
-Whew. Rough landing for me.
Rough landing for you?!
-Wait, where's the cantaplum?
Where did it go?!
-Relax, Phil.
It's around here somewhere.
-No, it's not,
you walking mouth!
It's gone! Gone forever! Wait!
It must be in that cave!
And it's all mine!
-No, it's mine!
Breaking every bone in my body
didn't slow me down.
-W-Wh-What's that noise? Phil?
Gorgwatch?!
- Mmm, mmm.
- Ah!
-Relax, Grug.
It's only the sound
of responsible
mouth maintenance.
I must tend to
my baby-soft lips,
so they don't become chapped
and chafed.
Such is the burden
of tender, smoochable lips.
-Ew.
The cantaplum!
I found it!
-Stay back! I'll carry it!
You see? My grip is as sure as--
Agh I did that on purpose.
Hold on.
You're embarrassing me, hands!
-That's it! I'm carrying it!
Your hands are too weak
for fruit this important,
and beautiful,
-and delicious--
-Grug, no! Ah!
-Hm?
Well, I guess we were
right about each other.
-Indeed. Our flaws have
generated a shared conundrum
with only one logical solution.
-We switch heads?
-How would that help?!
-Those are Phil's footprints,
and Grug's?
Or a badgerilla's.
Is there a difference?
-We're about to find out.
Those animals
are getting closer.
We need to move.
-Something else is in there,
too!
-And it's going to eat us
just like it ate them!
-Grug?
-Phil?
-They're okay!
-And doing pigatorback rides
for some reason.
- Arethey okay?
-We're better than okay,
'cause we've got this! Ha!
-Unfortunately,
between Grug's compulsion
to put everything in his mouth,
and my fumble fingers,
this arrangement
is the only way
to safely transport
the cantaplum
-back to the farm.
-Sure. Or I can hold it.
Hm?
Glad that's settled
so we can run!
-Giddy up, Grug! Hyah!
-I'm a man, not a ride!
Ah, turn dry left!
Turn dry right!
Hi-ho, Grug! Away!
I can't keep this up!
-What?
You're not even running! I am!
-We're not gonna make it!
I guess there is
a can't in cantaplum!
-There was always
a can't in cantaplum!
-Yeah,
but there's no can't in Grug!
-Or Ugga!
-Or Dawn!
-Or--
-Okay!
Can't isn't in any of our names!
We get it!
-We made it!
-Yeah, until the gate breaks!
-Well, you did it.
You actually got a cantaplum.
-Or the rest of us got one
in spite of you two
doing everything
imaginable to sabotage that.
-You're right, Ugga.
We do make a pretty good team.
-All except Grug.
-Or I make a good team at least.
But enough accolades.
The sooner we plant
this treasure,
the sooner we begin
the long wait
to enjoy its eventual bounty,
nature permitting.
-Or we could just eat it now.
-Yeah, after all that,
I think we've earned it.
-I call first bite!
-Second! And third!
-No! We have the cantaplum
because of me
and I say we plant it
to reap its rewards
for years to come! Now dig!
-Gah! Fine.
-Stupid circle of life.
-Mm.
-Huh?
-Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
It's gone!
The cantaplum is gone!
Grug, open your mouth!
Phil, it's not in my--
I know it's
in here somewhere
and I'm going to find it!