9-1-1 (2018) s08e06 Episode Script
Confessions
1
Taken? What happened, sir?
[TRENT] We were fighting
about this stupid crafting corner.
My wife can't stand
that my mom took it over.
So the one time I decide to
leave the room and de-escalate,
guess what happens?
My psycho wife grabs her and takes off.
[MADDIE OVER RADIO] Attention all units,
possible elder abduction in progress.
Suspect is female,
Celeste Davis, driving a gray SUV,
license plate:
John-two-zero-five-six-William.
There she is.
Suspect vehicle just ran
a red light at 6th and Flower.
Headed south on 6th.
Show 727-L-30 moving to intercept.
[SIREN WAILING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
I have eyes on the SUV.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Suspect is turning right on Spring.
Vehicle entering the parking lot
at 6394 Spring.
[TIRES SCREECH]
Suspect has abandoned their vehicle.
- They are on foot.
- Copy, Sergeant Grant.
I have your location.
[ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSE]
Dispatch, suspect has entered
the Yokers building on 4th.
Requesting R/A and backup unit.
I need all available units
at 6394 Spring.
Suspect is on the roof.
- [SIREN WAILING]
- [HORN HONKING]
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
All right, let's get
that airbag deployed.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, Cap!
- Sir! Hey.
Step back. You cannot be here.
My wife took my mother up there.
- Wife?
- She just sent me these.
I think it's a threat.
Celeste Davis, let her
What am I looking at here?
My mother!
I-I want her back, and I want
no harm to come to her.
That's your mother?
Celeste? Where's Doris?
Where's your mother-in-law?
Right here.
- That's your hostage?
- Just the opposite.
I'm her hostage. Even in death.
[BOBBY] You said your
mother was kidnapped.
No, no, no, I-I never used that word.
I just, I expressed my concern
for her state of mind.
- My wife is a little
- Crazy.
Clearly. I'm on a roof
with the dusty remains
of my horrible mother-in-law
and the LAPD.
[CHIMNEY] Okay, she's over the bag.
Okay, she's not over the bag.
Okay, she's over the bag.
She's not over the bag.
Please stop. Buck, Eddie.
Fly paper to southwest corner
before this thing goes sideways.
Let's go.
So what happens next? Are y-you
calling SWAT or something?
It's an urn, not a hostage.
[CELESTE] Is that Trent?
[LAUGHS]
I knew he couldn't stay away.
Even a cremation fire can't burn
through those apron strings!
Hey. Maybe he's just worried
- about you.
- If he cared about me,
then he wouldn't have
ripped out my crafting corner
and built a shrine to his dead mother.
Who does that?
Tell him.
Tell him that I am done living
in Doris's shadow.
He needs to let her go
or or I'm dropping her right here.
- Tell him that.
- Did you get that, Captain Nash?
Tell her if she brings down
the urn in one piece,
I-I'll do whatever she wants.
Tell her yourself.
Uh, sweetheart? Sweetheart?
Just bring Mother back down here.
Okay, I'm just, I'm just
concerned for both your safety.
A-And you can have
your crafting corner back.
I'll put Mother in the
spare room. I swear. I swear!
- You hear that?
- Yeah, I'm hearing that now,
she's getting her own room.
[GRUNTS, SHOUTS]
What, is this thing welded shut?
- What are you doing?
- Stay back.
He wants his mommy down there?
I'm gonna give her to him.
The unpermitted scattering
of human remains
carries a fine,
and up to six months of jail time.
Celeste?
Celeste, stop.
Now, this is not about some space
in a house for
your crêpe paper and yarn.
This is about the space
between the two of you.
Now, you both allowed her
to come between you.
Why give her more power,
especially since she's gone?
- You're right.
- And you heard what he said.
- He wants to change.
- [SCOFFS]
Yeah, I still don't buy it, but
Who cares if he can't move on? I can.
If it means that much to him,
you can stay in the garage.
- [SCREAMING]
- [ATHENA SHOUTS]
No. No!
- [THUDS]
- I got it.
Hey! Hang back, let him get it.
[GRUNTS]
[EXHALES]
[TRENT] Oh, thank God.
What is that, Ming dynasty?
Me dynasty. This is my inheritance.
This thing has been in my family
for a hundred years,
and it is worth a fortune.
Celeste doesn't know that.
And I-I figured
if I put my mother in it,
she wouldn't go near it during
our inevitable divorce settlement.
- [CELESTE] Am I under arrest?
- [ATHENA] You'll be booked,
your husband can bond you out of jail.
She can bond herself out. We're done.
- The house is in my name!
- You can keep the house!
All I need is right here.
Mother and I will be
checking into a hotel.
Oh no!
[LAUGHS]
[TRENT] No!
That's mom all over.
Bless me, Father, for I
have sinned. It's been
Um, uh
I haven't done this since
middle school. It's been
23 years since my last confession.
[PRIEST] I see.
May I ask your name?
I-It's not required.
It's Eddie.
And so, what brings you back now, Eddie?
23 years of sins, I guess.
I don't have to do all of them, do I?
Uh, maybe just hit the highlights.
Not sure where to even start, I
Well, I imagine, after 23 years,
something in particular
must be bothering you enough
to make you feel like
you need to be here.
Lost my son.
I'm very sorry.
How old was he?
No, he's not dead, he's still alive.
He's with his grandparents, my folks.
And he's got special needs, he's
Cerebral palsy and
[CHUCKLES]
No, it doesn't keep him down.
You know? He's just this, uh
[CLEARS THROAT]
optimistic soul, you know?
All I wanted to do was protect him.
Keep him safe. And
Couldn't protect him from me.
Put my desires before his needs.
I traumatized my son, Father.
How so?
God. It's hard to explain.
Oh, believe me, my son,
there's nothing I haven't heard.
Came home and found me
with his dead mother.
She, she wasn't his actual mother,
uh, she just looked like her, I mean
exactly like her.
Which is why I was seeing her, but
[SIGHS] I didn't tell her that
Yeah, well, not at first.
And I lied to everyone else.
My son, my best friend, my girlfriend.
I see.
Well, regardless,
our God is a god that forgives.
So, as your penance for these sins,
I request you say five Hail Marys
and ten decades of the rosary.
That's it?
It's not the severity of the punishment,
it's the sincerity of the plea.
I don't even know what I'm
doing here. This is a mistake.
I don't deserve forgiveness.
I got to go.
- [SIZZLING]
- Mmm, that smells so good.
- Thank you. So, she's still out?
- Yeah, like a light.
Good. I don't know why
she never wants to go to sleep.
- Uh, did you when you were a kid?
- Okay.
But she hasn't been
like this for a while.
Well, I don't think
it's that complicated.
She just misses Mara.
Well, yeah, but it's not like
she never sees her.
- They see each other all the time.
- Yeah, but it's not the same.
I mean, she lived with us
for over three months.
That's a long time
in our little girl's life.
I think maybe she liked having a sister.
Oh, that reminds me, I got
to get that bed out of there.
I keep meaning to make
some space in the garage.
Or we could fill it.
What do you mean?
I don't know,
I-I just think maybe having
another kid around was good for Jee.
You know, maybe we should
think about giving her
a brother or sister.
You want to have another baby?
It's just something to think about.
[JEE-YUN] Mama.
Ooh, that's my cue.
And I am not done with that.
♪
Mm. Don't even think about trying to pay
- when the bill comes.
- Come on, you paid for takeout last night.
Well, tonight is special.
Do you know why?
So, I'm going to guess
it's our sixth-month anniversary.
I-I didn't get you anything.
You're paying for dinner.
Right. [CHUCKLES]
Um well, okay.
[CHUCKLES]
Wow.
Lakers tickets. No way.
And you don't even have to take me.
- Take Eddie if you want
- Uh, really?
And die.
[CHUCKLES] Okay, that sounds right.
Um, well, thank you.
I am so sorry to bother you guys.
Do you mind taking a picture for us?
We're having a girls' night to celebrate
my friend Sarah's divorce.
Don't worry, he sucked.
- [BUCK] Uh
- We want to get one of all of us together.
Uh
Yes, I-I can do that.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, actually,
can you take it on my phone?
Unless you were hoping to get my number.
N-No, that-that wasn't my intention.
- Uh, I can do that, yeah.
- Great.
I'll just Yeah.
- Okay.
- [LAUGHTER]
Cool. Took a bunch.
You guys look amazing.
- Thank you.
- Have a good night.
Well [SCOFFS]
That was, that was kind of weird.
No, it wasn't.
You're hot, so is she.
- It's okay to look, you know.
- Yeah, right, uh
I-I noticed you didn't.
I'm a Kinsey 6.
Uh, I'm not sure what that means.
I'm gay.
Have you ever
Tried with a woman?
Oh, yeah.
In fact, I was almost married to one.
We were engaged for two years,
until I called it off,
which was probably
the only honest thing I did
in that entire relationship.
Wow.
Heard she went a little nuts after that.
Took up with some himbo half her age.
Well, yeah, I mean, she's probably just
using him to get you out of her system.
Then I hoped it worked for her.
After what I put her through
Abby deserved better.
Abby?
Abby Clark.
She used to work at 911 dispatch,
where your sister is now.
Amazing hair.
[WAITER] How was everything
tonight, guys?
[TOMMY] Perfect. Thank you.
Can I get you anything else?
Uh, no, I think we're good.
[WAITER] Okay. Who gets the damage?
That would be him.
[WAITER] Whenever you're ready.
No rush.
♪
[MEDIATOR] The dissolution of
a marriage is never pleasant,
but my job as mediator is to make it
as pain-free as possible.
Like a root canal with lawyers.
[MEDIATOR]
Despite what you may have heard,
this doesn't have to be
the worst experience
- of your life.
- Well, that one's taken.
Our wedding night.
Were you awake for that?
Had to be or you would've slept with
the wedding planner again.
I told you, she and I never
[SNEEZES]
Oh, see that?
Every time he lies, he sneezes.
No, no, no, that's not true.
I have allergies.
Not to infidelity.
[MEDIATOR] Let's, if we may, uh,
turn first to, uh, finances.
Ooh, we have some?
I thought she drank them all.
I never touch alcohol.
Oh, no, you grope it.
I've been married ten years to this one.
Last time I saw her sober,
I was paying the rabbi.
- [SNEEZES]
- See? Every time he lies.
We can remove the flowers if you like.
No. No, no need. Everything sets me off.
- Pollen, cats
- The truth.
Remember when I told you
you were a great cook?
I didn't sneeze then.
Remember when I said, "Oh, yeah, baby,
it was so good for me, too"?
No sneezes.
[LAWYER] In regards
to division of assets,
we feel very strongly
that Mr. Schaffer should retain
possession of the house in Aspen.
Are you his new go-to?
Pardon me?
Has he taken you to Cabo yet?
He likes to do that in the first month.
[GASPS] Did he show you
the trick with the worm?
Boy, Walter,
I thought she'd be younger.
Okay, Liza, you are out of line.
And knowing you, ice.
Remember the time you had me
lie to your friends
that you'd been mugged
when really it was just
a bad reaction to Botox?
[WALTER] I'll have you know,
those hoods, they nearly killed me.
[SNEEZES]
Or the time you blackballed
your own brother
from your country club,
and told him you tried
to resign in protest.
He didn't have the cash to
[SNEEZES]
Liar.
- Drunkard!
- Philanderer!
Enough!
Okay, let's start again, shall we?
- [EXHALES]
- Uh, Mr. Schaffer,
this was your first marriage.
Is that not right?
Yes.
- [SNEEZES]
- I knew it.
Oh, God. God. [GROANS]
Baby, are you okay?
"Baby"? I knew
you were sleeping with her.
I am not
[SNEEZES]
[SCREAMS]
Oh, no! Oh, no! No! No!
LAFD. Where's the patient?
Uh, right in there.
Hope you have better luck
with him than I did.
One minute, he was fine,
and then the next minute,
it was like a bomb went off
in his stomach.
Sir, you're gonna need
to let us take a look.
If I let go, it'll all fall out.
[GROANS]
Oh.
Ooh.
Evisceration of the small intestine.
- Were you attacked?
- Yes.
I was.
By her! She did this to me!
I did not. I hate his guts.
Why would I want to look at them?
Sir, did you recently have any surgery?
Not recently.
I had my ruptured appendix
taken out last month.
That tracks.
Were you doing anything strenuous
when the incision reopened?
Crunches, coughing?
Yeah, he was. He had a sneezing fit.
[SCOFFS] A lying fit.
He sneezes when he lies.
Oh, my God, I'm dying.
I'm dying, and this shirt
is ruined.
- Hi, sorry, uh
- Yeah?
Is he gonna make it? 'Cause
if not, I get the entire estate.
You get her out of here!
You can have it all! I don't care!
I don't care anymore!
I never loved you anyway!
- [SNEEZES]
- [GURGLING]
[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
[BOBBY] Okay, Buck,
can you get missus, uh,
ex-missus outside, please.
Yeah. Uh, ma'am, please. Come on.
- Can you put it all back?
- Sir, they're gonna
take care of that at
the hospital, I assure you. Hen?
All right, everything
appears to be intact.
Let's irrigate what's exposed and
pack him up for transport.
Saline coming up.
[HEN] Eddie,
grab me a biohazard bag.
Oh, God.
Copy that.
Uh, ma'am, are you feeling okay?
I can't believe it.
He-he said he never loved me,
and then he sneezed.
He lied.
He really did love me.
I'm sure he did.
- Does.
- Saying he never loved me
is the most beautiful lie
he's ever told.
[BUCK] Uh, oh,
- you need a tissue?
- No.
[GROANING]
Vitals are good.
Let's get him on a gurney.
Dispatch, our evisceration
is stable. Please alert the trauma team.
We're gonna have to bypass
triage, straight to ER.
- All right.
- One, two, three.
[GROANING]
[WALTER] Oh!
Walter?
Go away.
Walter, I'm so sorry.
I never meant for things
to get this bad.
I'll follow you in the ambulance. Okay?
And then maybe we can try again?
Oh. Yes, baby.
Yes.
And we're gonna make it work this time.
I promise, I'll never stray again.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[SNEEZES]
Son of a bitch.
Liar!
They were engaged?
- Yeah.
- What are the odds?
A million to one.
- Wow, that's crazy.
- I know.
I wonder how many men she turned gay?
Uh, I'm kidding.
Okay, first off, he was already gay.
Okay? And she and I were together
years before I ever kissed a boy.
I'm totally not eavesdropping.
Who kissed a boy?
- Buck.
- Oh, Tommy.
Unless there's another boy?
No, there's not another boy.
There's another woman.
Wait, what?
Buck slept with Tommy's fiancée.
No, he d
Okay, she was not his fiancée
when I slept with her,
and I didn't sleep with her,
I was in a relationship.
You make it sound so sordid.
No, you're making it sound sordid.
I don't think it's a big deal.
Tommy was engaged to a woman?
- Abby Clark.
- What?
Hold on. So, Abby's Tommy is your Tommy?
Wait, yeah.
You must have met him back then, right?
Uh, no. I mean, she wasn't one to bring
her business to work,
unlike some other people.
I do know that she was pretty devastated
when he broke things off with her.
Okay, right. See?
See? This is not a joke.
He led her on. He said he
loved her, and then he hurt her.
And you're afraid
he might do that to you.
No, I just, I I thought I knew him,
and I didn't think
he would be capable of
being this dishonest or cruel.
Do you love him?
Uh, do I
[JOSH] Yeah, okay, forget that word.
We don't need to go that far.
Um, do you care for him?
Yeah, of course.
You're romantically inclined
toward this person.
Uh, I think that much is obvious.
Do you think about him
when he's not around?
Are his concerns your concerns?
Um, is his happiness at least
as important to you as yours?
Yeah.
And could you see a future there?
Uh, I-I could.
Then you have to stop judging him,
because you don't know
what you're talking about.
Wait, what?
Let me break it down for you.
There's a pre-Glee world
and a post-Glee world,
and you, my friend, were lucky enough
to have your sexual awakening
in the post-Glee world.
Oh, I never watched Glee.
Yeah, that's the beauty of Glee.
You don't have to have
watched it to benefit from it.
Tommy, guys like me,
we came up in the pre-Glee world.
It was scarier, more confusing,
and not half as accepting.
And so, sometimes we did things
to protect ourselves, things that
we might not be proud of,
that in a post-Glee world
look less than noble, but
you don't judge the people
who came before you.
The ones who fought battles
you didn't have to.
Because they have scars.
You honor their scars,
and you thank them.
I'm gonna make a dramatic exit now.
Thank you.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
You never saw Glee?
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
Do you want me to read you a story?
I'm sorry, did I wake you?
No, that would imply that
I've actually slept at all tonight.
I'm really sorry. You know what?
I should just go sleep on the couch.
Okay, what is wrong?
How could you just casually drop,
"Maybe let's have another baby,"
after it almost
killed you the last time?
[SIGHS] So that's why
you're not sleeping.
Uh, yeah.
It kind of came out of nowhere.
It didn't come out of nowhere.
I told you, I saw Jee and Mara together,
and it just got me thinking, that's all.
And I get wanting to
get her another sibling,
but you know Mara's not blood-related.
What's the matter with adopting?
Nothing, and
maybe that's what we should do.
But I also love looking at her
and seeing us in there.
Not to say that I couldn't love
an adopted child just as much.
I just don't know
that it's our only option.
I'm being selfish, huh?
No.
I mean, I don't want her to not have
a brother or sister 'cause I'm afraid.
[SIGHS] But, Maddie,
I am afraid.
I know.
But it's not like I'm the only woman
to experience postpartum depression.
I'm pretty sure my mother's
still going through it.
I just don't know
if it's worth all the risk.
Was it worth it the last time?
Okay, that's not fair.
I couldn't imagine my life
without that little girl in it.
I also don't want to imagine it
without her mother in it either.
And I don't want you to imagine that.
Look, we don't have
to talk about this right now.
Whatever we decide to do, we'll
do it together, okay?
Okay.
Are you sure that you don't
want me to read you a story?
- I think I'm good.
- Okay.
- Good night.
- Good night.
[GRUNTS]
Life's a constant curveball ♪
And I caught it ♪
With my face ♪
All right. There you go.
You know what?
I, uh, changed my mind, uh
I think
[GRUNTS] Here.
I'll take the water instead.
[SCANNER BEEPS]
Thank you.
That wakes you from your sleep ♪
Uh, mind if I sit here?
Go ahead. Yeah.
Thank you.
[INHALES] Oh, it's a beautiful day.
Did you know this is the first time
I've ever stopped at this juice bar?
I was passing by
and something just compelled me.
How about you? You come here often?
Oh, uh, listen, um
No offense. I'm straight.
Oh, that's all right. I'm celibate.
I'm Father Brian.
It's Eddie, isn't it?
Father
So
I couldn't help but notice
that, initially, you grabbed the juice.
But then opted for the water.
Why do you think that is?
Decided I wanted water?
See, I think that you were
punishing yourself.
I think that you are denying yourself
because you don't feel worthy right now.
[SIGHS] I don't feel worthy of juice?
Of joy.
[CHUCKLES]
I don't have a lot to be joyful about.
Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
You have a son, whom you love.
Who's in Texas.
- Is he safe?
- Of course. He's with my folks.
So you have parents who love you.
And who are willing
to step up if needed.
A little too willing.
You have an occupation,
which I assume, gives you meaning.
- It does.
- And you have
that very handsome mustache.
[LAUGHS]
You want to know why I grew this?
- Tell me.
- Because the LAFD
doesn't allow beards.
Yeah, too flammable.
Otherwise, I would have gone
full mountain man.
So, it's a disguise?
Something like that.
What are you afraid of seeing
when you look in the mirror?
A failure.
A man who doesn't deserve forgiveness.
Or joy.
Oh, that's not
what God wants for you, Eddie.
He's already forgiven you.
Don't deserve to be.
So, earn it.
But in the meantime,
stop punishing yourself.
From the little that I know of you,
you're someone
who spent his life in service.
That's something that I can understand.
But we can't take care of others
if we don't first
take care of ourselves.
I understand.
Good.
And once you've done your Our Fathers,
I want you to do something frivolous,
something fun, something
that expresses pure joy.
Just nothing that violates the big ten.
I'll think about it.
Good.
[MAN ON PHONE]
Okay, sir, that's all I can do.
[PATRICK] No, you said the pool
would be done by July.
It's November,
and they barely made a dent.
[PATRICK] You get that?
[JACK] Miles?
Read Wilmer Worm.
I've already read you Wilmer Worm.
- Again.
- No, I'm busy.
Mom, Wilmer Worm!
Okay. Honey, Dad and I are
on the phone with a contractor, okay?
- Just read it to him.
- But he's so annoying!
[SABRINA] You're his big brother.
He looks up to you.
And now they're leaving.
Swear these guys are on banker's hours.
You need to come down here.
Wilmer Worm!
Wilmer Worm! Wilmer Worm!
You are a worm.
I wish you'd just wiggle away for good.
Fine. I'll read it to you.
Just give me the book.
Jack?
Jack?
Jack!
Where are you? Come on, don't be a baby.
Jack?
Jack, where are you?
[JACK] Miles?
Jack, where are you?
[JACK] Miles?
- Jack?
- Miles?
[GASPING]
- Miles?!
- Jack!
LAFD!
Over here! It's my little brother.
He fell all the way down.
We only took our eyes off him
for a second.
It's okay. Just step back,
let us have a look.
Let's go over here,
give them some space, okay?
Come on, buddy.
Well, he's about 20 feet down.
Pipe's pretty narrow.
You know where this thing leads?
No. The construction crew found it
when they were digging up our pool.
Said it was an old drainage pipe.
Got the camera, Cap.
I don't hear him anymore. Jack?
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Please get him out. It's all my fault.
- Hey, this is not your fault.
- Yes, it is.
He wanted me to read Wilmer Worm again,
and I told him to go away.
Little brothers can be annoying, I know.
But you still love him a ton.
- Right?
- Billion tons.
Please get him out.
Dispatch, this is Captain Nash, 118.
Requesting a USAR Task Force
at 5273 Ridgeford Drive
for a trench rescue ASAP.
[DISPATCHER] Copy, Captain 118.
Jack, this is Captain Bobby.
Can you hear me?
How you doing down there?
It hurts.
I know it does.
Just hold as still as you can, okay?
- Cap? Look at this.
- Yup.
Yeah, he's still sliding.
Slowly, but every millimeter is
wedging him tighter in there,
impairing his breathing.
Positional asphyxia.
Jack.
Dispatch, where's my USAR?
[DISPATCHER] 16 minutes out, 118.
- Can we get O2 down to him?
- [HEN] It won't help
- if he can't expand his lungs.
- Well, okay, so we dig.
- There's a backhoe right there.
- [BOBBY] Too risky. We need
to be precise. We use that,
we could trigger a collapse.
Someone's got to get down there.
I don't think you're gonna
fit this time, Eddie.
I can do it.
I'm his big brother.
All right, once you're
down there, I want you
to hook this under his arms
and pull it real tight.
Then you're gonna reach down
and grab his hands
'cause you'll be pulling him up.
When you're done,
kick your feet,
and we'll bring you right up.
- Got it.
- All right, time to go.
- We love you.
- Love you guys, too.
Miles?
You're a really brave guy
and a great big brother, okay?
Thank you.
All right. Ready? Here we go.
There you go. Tuck his head.
All right, you got this, Miles.
Just stay nice and relaxed.
Okay, Eddie, Buck,
no matter what, in two minutes,
we pull him up. Everybody got that?
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Come on, buddy.
You got this.
I'm coming, Jack.
- Miles?!
- [GRUNTS]
- I'm scared.
- I'm coming, Jack!
I'm coming!
It's okay. Hold still, Jack.
[EDDIE] Going good.
Great job, Miles.
[MILES GRUNTING]
I'm coming!
[MILES GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
Okay. I'm here, Jack.
Let me just put this under you.
Let me just
[MILES GRUNTS]
[MILES] I got you.
And we're gonna wiggle out
just like Wilmer Worm.
- Just like Wilmer Worm?
- Yeah.
Okay. He's kicking his feet. [GRUNTING]
[HOIST CLICKING]
[CHIMNEY] All right, buddy.
We got him. Good job, Miles!
Good job.
[GRUNTING]
- [BOBBY] Good job, Jack.
- Is he okay?
- He's alert and oriented.
- Mom, Dad.
Miles helped me wiggle out.
Oh. [CRIES]
Good job, Miles.
Jack's really lucky
to have a big brother like you.
And I'm lucky to have
a little brother like him.
Read Wilmer Worm.
Okay. I will, buddy.
"Wilmer Worm wiggled closer
and spied Froggy the Frog,
"sunbathing on a lily pad.
'Hello, Froggy, ' Wilmer Worm called."
[KNOCKING]
- Hey.
- Hey.
You're not gonna believe this,
I got a spot right out front.
I think we should Uber to
the movie so I don't lose it.
Uh, sure. C-Can we talk first?
Yeah, of course.
We got time. What's up?
Uh, m-maybe sit.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Okay
Uh [CHUCKLES]
So, I've been thinking about
what you shared with me the
other night at the restaurant.
My spumoni?
No, not your spumoni.
Uh, y-your story.
About how you almost got engaged.
I did get engaged.
What I didn't do was getting married.
Uh, right, uh, well-well, I-I appreciate
how honest you were with me and now I
want to be honest with you.
Uh-oh.
Oh, not "uh-oh."
Uh, in fact, m-maybe "oh." [CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Uh, here.
This will explain
or at least help break the ice.
Scroll through these.
Oh, no way. You know Abby?
Did you two?
I'm the himbo.
- Wow.
- Uh, yeah, yeah, c-crazy, right?
Yeah, and a little awkward.
Yes, it-it was for me, too, at first.
Look, I-I should've been
honest with you, at dinner.
You know? I-I was just It kind of
Freaked you out a little?
Yeah.
Uh, well, listen, obviously,
if I had known, I never
would've used that word.
I do not think that you are a himbo.
Oh, no, I-I was, I-I
I definitely was.
But that was before Abby.
W-What I had with her was not that.
At least, not-not for me.
Uh, no, m-my relationship
with Abby was
It was the most transformative
of my life.
Until now.
Look, I-I think one of the reasons
that I am so comfortable with you
is-is 'cause you're
so comfortable with you.
- I wasn't always that way.
- I know, I-I do.
And honestly, it
It just makes me admire you more.
I want you to move in with me.
I want you to move in with me.
I-I'm ready to take the next step,
and I'm not saying
let's get married or engaged,
even though we would have the right,
thanks to the brave people
who came before, including you.
All I'm saying is, why be apart
when we can be together?
Evan, that is so sweet.
But I can't move in with you.
And why not?
Because
I know how this ends.
Uh, wh-what's that supposed to mean?
Look, Evan
you're an incredible guy.
Big-hearted. Hot as hell. Funny.
Impulsive.
But what you're feeling right now is
is new.
And it's exciting, and
it feels like forever.
But you're still figuring yourself out.
And that's good.
- What are you saying?
- I'm saying
no matter how bad I wanted to be
I'm not your last.
I'm your first.
Well, hey, they-they
can be the same thing.
But they usually aren't.
If I were to move in with you,
you wouldn't mean to,
you wouldn't plan for it
but you'd end up breaking my heart.
And I
I don't think that
I could deal with that.
I should go.
Wait, wait, wait, hey, hey, um
Wait, d-did you just break up with me?
Yeah. I guess I did.
Believe me,
I didn't see it coming, either.
Should've known that parking
spot was too good to be true.
I'll see you around, Buck.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
- Hey. Where's?
- She's in bed.
Nice work.
I ran her ragged.
Excellent strategy.
Of course, now I'm a bit ragged.
Downside of an excellent strategy.
So
what if we made someone
to do that for us?
Run her ragged.
What if we gave her a brother or sister?
Well, what changed your mind?
We went on this call today
and there were these two kids.
Brothers, actually.
And the younger brother,
he went into this pipe and he got stuck.
And we really didn't think
there was gonna be
any way to get him out of there.
- [SIGHS] That's terrifying.
- Yeah, it was.
But then the older brother
he offered to go in the pipe himself
to rescue his little brother.
Turns out, he was the perfect fit.
And he got him out just in time.
Wow. So he was a hero.
See, that's the thing.
He wasn't even trying to be a hero.
He was just
he was just being a brother.
And I want our baby girl to have that.
A little brother or a sister
who will always be there for her.
Especially when you and I
leave this world.
And then she'll always have
a little part of you to protect her.
Well, and a little part of you, too.
Although there are no guarantees,
sometimes siblings don't bond.
Cain and Abel come to mind.
- Are you sure about this?
- I'm sure.
But you and I, we have to set
some ground rules, okay?
If you are ever feeling sad
or overwhelmed,
you come tell me.
And you don't get to leave.
Or try to manage this all on your own.
We have total and complete transparency.
And you're pregnant already, aren't you?
[LAUGHTER]
- Yeah.
- Why didn't you say something?
Well, I thought I had been.
[LAUGHING] Oh, my God, Maddie.
You know what, I have some rules, too.
Well, actually, just one.
We can't go into this
acting like I am broken,
or a bomb that's
gonna go off any second.
Give this a chance to be what it is.
[EXHALES] Joy.
Joy.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]
[RAZOR BUZZING]
[BUZZING STOPS]
["OLD TIME ROCK & ROLL"
BY BOB SEGER PLAYING]
♪
Just take those old records
off the shelf ♪
I sit and listen to 'em by myself ♪
Today's music
ain't got the same soul ♪
I like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪
Don't try to take me to a disco ♪
You'll never even
get me out on the floor ♪
In ten minutes
I'll be late for the door ♪
I like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪
Still like that
old time rock 'n' roll ♪
That kind of music
just soothes the soul ♪
I reminisce about the days of old ♪
With that old time rock 'n' roll ♪
Hey ♪
♪
[PANTING]
Won't go to hear 'em play a tango ♪
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'd rather hear some blues
or some funky old soul ♪
There's only one sure way
to get me to go ♪
Start playing old time rock 'n' roll ♪
Call me a relic,
call me what you will ♪
Say I'm old fashioned,
say I'm over the hill ♪
Today's music
ain't got the same soul ♪
I like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪
That kind of music
just soothes the soul ♪
I reminisce about the days of old ♪
With that old time rock 'n' roll. ♪
Taken? What happened, sir?
[TRENT] We were fighting
about this stupid crafting corner.
My wife can't stand
that my mom took it over.
So the one time I decide to
leave the room and de-escalate,
guess what happens?
My psycho wife grabs her and takes off.
[MADDIE OVER RADIO] Attention all units,
possible elder abduction in progress.
Suspect is female,
Celeste Davis, driving a gray SUV,
license plate:
John-two-zero-five-six-William.
There she is.
Suspect vehicle just ran
a red light at 6th and Flower.
Headed south on 6th.
Show 727-L-30 moving to intercept.
[SIREN WAILING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
I have eyes on the SUV.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Suspect is turning right on Spring.
Vehicle entering the parking lot
at 6394 Spring.
[TIRES SCREECH]
Suspect has abandoned their vehicle.
- They are on foot.
- Copy, Sergeant Grant.
I have your location.
[ELEVATOR DOORS CLOSE]
Dispatch, suspect has entered
the Yokers building on 4th.
Requesting R/A and backup unit.
I need all available units
at 6394 Spring.
Suspect is on the roof.
- [SIREN WAILING]
- [HORN HONKING]
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
All right, let's get
that airbag deployed.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, Cap!
- Sir! Hey.
Step back. You cannot be here.
My wife took my mother up there.
- Wife?
- She just sent me these.
I think it's a threat.
Celeste Davis, let her
What am I looking at here?
My mother!
I-I want her back, and I want
no harm to come to her.
That's your mother?
Celeste? Where's Doris?
Where's your mother-in-law?
Right here.
- That's your hostage?
- Just the opposite.
I'm her hostage. Even in death.
[BOBBY] You said your
mother was kidnapped.
No, no, no, I-I never used that word.
I just, I expressed my concern
for her state of mind.
- My wife is a little
- Crazy.
Clearly. I'm on a roof
with the dusty remains
of my horrible mother-in-law
and the LAPD.
[CHIMNEY] Okay, she's over the bag.
Okay, she's not over the bag.
Okay, she's over the bag.
She's not over the bag.
Please stop. Buck, Eddie.
Fly paper to southwest corner
before this thing goes sideways.
Let's go.
So what happens next? Are y-you
calling SWAT or something?
It's an urn, not a hostage.
[CELESTE] Is that Trent?
[LAUGHS]
I knew he couldn't stay away.
Even a cremation fire can't burn
through those apron strings!
Hey. Maybe he's just worried
- about you.
- If he cared about me,
then he wouldn't have
ripped out my crafting corner
and built a shrine to his dead mother.
Who does that?
Tell him.
Tell him that I am done living
in Doris's shadow.
He needs to let her go
or or I'm dropping her right here.
- Tell him that.
- Did you get that, Captain Nash?
Tell her if she brings down
the urn in one piece,
I-I'll do whatever she wants.
Tell her yourself.
Uh, sweetheart? Sweetheart?
Just bring Mother back down here.
Okay, I'm just, I'm just
concerned for both your safety.
A-And you can have
your crafting corner back.
I'll put Mother in the
spare room. I swear. I swear!
- You hear that?
- Yeah, I'm hearing that now,
she's getting her own room.
[GRUNTS, SHOUTS]
What, is this thing welded shut?
- What are you doing?
- Stay back.
He wants his mommy down there?
I'm gonna give her to him.
The unpermitted scattering
of human remains
carries a fine,
and up to six months of jail time.
Celeste?
Celeste, stop.
Now, this is not about some space
in a house for
your crêpe paper and yarn.
This is about the space
between the two of you.
Now, you both allowed her
to come between you.
Why give her more power,
especially since she's gone?
- You're right.
- And you heard what he said.
- He wants to change.
- [SCOFFS]
Yeah, I still don't buy it, but
Who cares if he can't move on? I can.
If it means that much to him,
you can stay in the garage.
- [SCREAMING]
- [ATHENA SHOUTS]
No. No!
- [THUDS]
- I got it.
Hey! Hang back, let him get it.
[GRUNTS]
[EXHALES]
[TRENT] Oh, thank God.
What is that, Ming dynasty?
Me dynasty. This is my inheritance.
This thing has been in my family
for a hundred years,
and it is worth a fortune.
Celeste doesn't know that.
And I-I figured
if I put my mother in it,
she wouldn't go near it during
our inevitable divorce settlement.
- [CELESTE] Am I under arrest?
- [ATHENA] You'll be booked,
your husband can bond you out of jail.
She can bond herself out. We're done.
- The house is in my name!
- You can keep the house!
All I need is right here.
Mother and I will be
checking into a hotel.
Oh no!
[LAUGHS]
[TRENT] No!
That's mom all over.
Bless me, Father, for I
have sinned. It's been
Um, uh
I haven't done this since
middle school. It's been
23 years since my last confession.
[PRIEST] I see.
May I ask your name?
I-It's not required.
It's Eddie.
And so, what brings you back now, Eddie?
23 years of sins, I guess.
I don't have to do all of them, do I?
Uh, maybe just hit the highlights.
Not sure where to even start, I
Well, I imagine, after 23 years,
something in particular
must be bothering you enough
to make you feel like
you need to be here.
Lost my son.
I'm very sorry.
How old was he?
No, he's not dead, he's still alive.
He's with his grandparents, my folks.
And he's got special needs, he's
Cerebral palsy and
[CHUCKLES]
No, it doesn't keep him down.
You know? He's just this, uh
[CLEARS THROAT]
optimistic soul, you know?
All I wanted to do was protect him.
Keep him safe. And
Couldn't protect him from me.
Put my desires before his needs.
I traumatized my son, Father.
How so?
God. It's hard to explain.
Oh, believe me, my son,
there's nothing I haven't heard.
Came home and found me
with his dead mother.
She, she wasn't his actual mother,
uh, she just looked like her, I mean
exactly like her.
Which is why I was seeing her, but
[SIGHS] I didn't tell her that
Yeah, well, not at first.
And I lied to everyone else.
My son, my best friend, my girlfriend.
I see.
Well, regardless,
our God is a god that forgives.
So, as your penance for these sins,
I request you say five Hail Marys
and ten decades of the rosary.
That's it?
It's not the severity of the punishment,
it's the sincerity of the plea.
I don't even know what I'm
doing here. This is a mistake.
I don't deserve forgiveness.
I got to go.
- [SIZZLING]
- Mmm, that smells so good.
- Thank you. So, she's still out?
- Yeah, like a light.
Good. I don't know why
she never wants to go to sleep.
- Uh, did you when you were a kid?
- Okay.
But she hasn't been
like this for a while.
Well, I don't think
it's that complicated.
She just misses Mara.
Well, yeah, but it's not like
she never sees her.
- They see each other all the time.
- Yeah, but it's not the same.
I mean, she lived with us
for over three months.
That's a long time
in our little girl's life.
I think maybe she liked having a sister.
Oh, that reminds me, I got
to get that bed out of there.
I keep meaning to make
some space in the garage.
Or we could fill it.
What do you mean?
I don't know,
I-I just think maybe having
another kid around was good for Jee.
You know, maybe we should
think about giving her
a brother or sister.
You want to have another baby?
It's just something to think about.
[JEE-YUN] Mama.
Ooh, that's my cue.
And I am not done with that.
♪
Mm. Don't even think about trying to pay
- when the bill comes.
- Come on, you paid for takeout last night.
Well, tonight is special.
Do you know why?
So, I'm going to guess
it's our sixth-month anniversary.
I-I didn't get you anything.
You're paying for dinner.
Right. [CHUCKLES]
Um well, okay.
[CHUCKLES]
Wow.
Lakers tickets. No way.
And you don't even have to take me.
- Take Eddie if you want
- Uh, really?
And die.
[CHUCKLES] Okay, that sounds right.
Um, well, thank you.
I am so sorry to bother you guys.
Do you mind taking a picture for us?
We're having a girls' night to celebrate
my friend Sarah's divorce.
Don't worry, he sucked.
- [BUCK] Uh
- We want to get one of all of us together.
Uh
Yes, I-I can do that.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, actually,
can you take it on my phone?
Unless you were hoping to get my number.
N-No, that-that wasn't my intention.
- Uh, I can do that, yeah.
- Great.
I'll just Yeah.
- Okay.
- [LAUGHTER]
Cool. Took a bunch.
You guys look amazing.
- Thank you.
- Have a good night.
Well [SCOFFS]
That was, that was kind of weird.
No, it wasn't.
You're hot, so is she.
- It's okay to look, you know.
- Yeah, right, uh
I-I noticed you didn't.
I'm a Kinsey 6.
Uh, I'm not sure what that means.
I'm gay.
Have you ever
Tried with a woman?
Oh, yeah.
In fact, I was almost married to one.
We were engaged for two years,
until I called it off,
which was probably
the only honest thing I did
in that entire relationship.
Wow.
Heard she went a little nuts after that.
Took up with some himbo half her age.
Well, yeah, I mean, she's probably just
using him to get you out of her system.
Then I hoped it worked for her.
After what I put her through
Abby deserved better.
Abby?
Abby Clark.
She used to work at 911 dispatch,
where your sister is now.
Amazing hair.
[WAITER] How was everything
tonight, guys?
[TOMMY] Perfect. Thank you.
Can I get you anything else?
Uh, no, I think we're good.
[WAITER] Okay. Who gets the damage?
That would be him.
[WAITER] Whenever you're ready.
No rush.
♪
[MEDIATOR] The dissolution of
a marriage is never pleasant,
but my job as mediator is to make it
as pain-free as possible.
Like a root canal with lawyers.
[MEDIATOR]
Despite what you may have heard,
this doesn't have to be
the worst experience
- of your life.
- Well, that one's taken.
Our wedding night.
Were you awake for that?
Had to be or you would've slept with
the wedding planner again.
I told you, she and I never
[SNEEZES]
Oh, see that?
Every time he lies, he sneezes.
No, no, no, that's not true.
I have allergies.
Not to infidelity.
[MEDIATOR] Let's, if we may, uh,
turn first to, uh, finances.
Ooh, we have some?
I thought she drank them all.
I never touch alcohol.
Oh, no, you grope it.
I've been married ten years to this one.
Last time I saw her sober,
I was paying the rabbi.
- [SNEEZES]
- See? Every time he lies.
We can remove the flowers if you like.
No. No, no need. Everything sets me off.
- Pollen, cats
- The truth.
Remember when I told you
you were a great cook?
I didn't sneeze then.
Remember when I said, "Oh, yeah, baby,
it was so good for me, too"?
No sneezes.
[LAWYER] In regards
to division of assets,
we feel very strongly
that Mr. Schaffer should retain
possession of the house in Aspen.
Are you his new go-to?
Pardon me?
Has he taken you to Cabo yet?
He likes to do that in the first month.
[GASPS] Did he show you
the trick with the worm?
Boy, Walter,
I thought she'd be younger.
Okay, Liza, you are out of line.
And knowing you, ice.
Remember the time you had me
lie to your friends
that you'd been mugged
when really it was just
a bad reaction to Botox?
[WALTER] I'll have you know,
those hoods, they nearly killed me.
[SNEEZES]
Or the time you blackballed
your own brother
from your country club,
and told him you tried
to resign in protest.
He didn't have the cash to
[SNEEZES]
Liar.
- Drunkard!
- Philanderer!
Enough!
Okay, let's start again, shall we?
- [EXHALES]
- Uh, Mr. Schaffer,
this was your first marriage.
Is that not right?
Yes.
- [SNEEZES]
- I knew it.
Oh, God. God. [GROANS]
Baby, are you okay?
"Baby"? I knew
you were sleeping with her.
I am not
[SNEEZES]
[SCREAMS]
Oh, no! Oh, no! No! No!
LAFD. Where's the patient?
Uh, right in there.
Hope you have better luck
with him than I did.
One minute, he was fine,
and then the next minute,
it was like a bomb went off
in his stomach.
Sir, you're gonna need
to let us take a look.
If I let go, it'll all fall out.
[GROANS]
Oh.
Ooh.
Evisceration of the small intestine.
- Were you attacked?
- Yes.
I was.
By her! She did this to me!
I did not. I hate his guts.
Why would I want to look at them?
Sir, did you recently have any surgery?
Not recently.
I had my ruptured appendix
taken out last month.
That tracks.
Were you doing anything strenuous
when the incision reopened?
Crunches, coughing?
Yeah, he was. He had a sneezing fit.
[SCOFFS] A lying fit.
He sneezes when he lies.
Oh, my God, I'm dying.
I'm dying, and this shirt
is ruined.
- Hi, sorry, uh
- Yeah?
Is he gonna make it? 'Cause
if not, I get the entire estate.
You get her out of here!
You can have it all! I don't care!
I don't care anymore!
I never loved you anyway!
- [SNEEZES]
- [GURGLING]
[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
[BOBBY] Okay, Buck,
can you get missus, uh,
ex-missus outside, please.
Yeah. Uh, ma'am, please. Come on.
- Can you put it all back?
- Sir, they're gonna
take care of that at
the hospital, I assure you. Hen?
All right, everything
appears to be intact.
Let's irrigate what's exposed and
pack him up for transport.
Saline coming up.
[HEN] Eddie,
grab me a biohazard bag.
Oh, God.
Copy that.
Uh, ma'am, are you feeling okay?
I can't believe it.
He-he said he never loved me,
and then he sneezed.
He lied.
He really did love me.
I'm sure he did.
- Does.
- Saying he never loved me
is the most beautiful lie
he's ever told.
[BUCK] Uh, oh,
- you need a tissue?
- No.
[GROANING]
Vitals are good.
Let's get him on a gurney.
Dispatch, our evisceration
is stable. Please alert the trauma team.
We're gonna have to bypass
triage, straight to ER.
- All right.
- One, two, three.
[GROANING]
[WALTER] Oh!
Walter?
Go away.
Walter, I'm so sorry.
I never meant for things
to get this bad.
I'll follow you in the ambulance. Okay?
And then maybe we can try again?
Oh. Yes, baby.
Yes.
And we're gonna make it work this time.
I promise, I'll never stray again.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[SNEEZES]
Son of a bitch.
Liar!
They were engaged?
- Yeah.
- What are the odds?
A million to one.
- Wow, that's crazy.
- I know.
I wonder how many men she turned gay?
Uh, I'm kidding.
Okay, first off, he was already gay.
Okay? And she and I were together
years before I ever kissed a boy.
I'm totally not eavesdropping.
Who kissed a boy?
- Buck.
- Oh, Tommy.
Unless there's another boy?
No, there's not another boy.
There's another woman.
Wait, what?
Buck slept with Tommy's fiancée.
No, he d
Okay, she was not his fiancée
when I slept with her,
and I didn't sleep with her,
I was in a relationship.
You make it sound so sordid.
No, you're making it sound sordid.
I don't think it's a big deal.
Tommy was engaged to a woman?
- Abby Clark.
- What?
Hold on. So, Abby's Tommy is your Tommy?
Wait, yeah.
You must have met him back then, right?
Uh, no. I mean, she wasn't one to bring
her business to work,
unlike some other people.
I do know that she was pretty devastated
when he broke things off with her.
Okay, right. See?
See? This is not a joke.
He led her on. He said he
loved her, and then he hurt her.
And you're afraid
he might do that to you.
No, I just, I I thought I knew him,
and I didn't think
he would be capable of
being this dishonest or cruel.
Do you love him?
Uh, do I
[JOSH] Yeah, okay, forget that word.
We don't need to go that far.
Um, do you care for him?
Yeah, of course.
You're romantically inclined
toward this person.
Uh, I think that much is obvious.
Do you think about him
when he's not around?
Are his concerns your concerns?
Um, is his happiness at least
as important to you as yours?
Yeah.
And could you see a future there?
Uh, I-I could.
Then you have to stop judging him,
because you don't know
what you're talking about.
Wait, what?
Let me break it down for you.
There's a pre-Glee world
and a post-Glee world,
and you, my friend, were lucky enough
to have your sexual awakening
in the post-Glee world.
Oh, I never watched Glee.
Yeah, that's the beauty of Glee.
You don't have to have
watched it to benefit from it.
Tommy, guys like me,
we came up in the pre-Glee world.
It was scarier, more confusing,
and not half as accepting.
And so, sometimes we did things
to protect ourselves, things that
we might not be proud of,
that in a post-Glee world
look less than noble, but
you don't judge the people
who came before you.
The ones who fought battles
you didn't have to.
Because they have scars.
You honor their scars,
and you thank them.
I'm gonna make a dramatic exit now.
Thank you.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
You never saw Glee?
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
Do you want me to read you a story?
I'm sorry, did I wake you?
No, that would imply that
I've actually slept at all tonight.
I'm really sorry. You know what?
I should just go sleep on the couch.
Okay, what is wrong?
How could you just casually drop,
"Maybe let's have another baby,"
after it almost
killed you the last time?
[SIGHS] So that's why
you're not sleeping.
Uh, yeah.
It kind of came out of nowhere.
It didn't come out of nowhere.
I told you, I saw Jee and Mara together,
and it just got me thinking, that's all.
And I get wanting to
get her another sibling,
but you know Mara's not blood-related.
What's the matter with adopting?
Nothing, and
maybe that's what we should do.
But I also love looking at her
and seeing us in there.
Not to say that I couldn't love
an adopted child just as much.
I just don't know
that it's our only option.
I'm being selfish, huh?
No.
I mean, I don't want her to not have
a brother or sister 'cause I'm afraid.
[SIGHS] But, Maddie,
I am afraid.
I know.
But it's not like I'm the only woman
to experience postpartum depression.
I'm pretty sure my mother's
still going through it.
I just don't know
if it's worth all the risk.
Was it worth it the last time?
Okay, that's not fair.
I couldn't imagine my life
without that little girl in it.
I also don't want to imagine it
without her mother in it either.
And I don't want you to imagine that.
Look, we don't have
to talk about this right now.
Whatever we decide to do, we'll
do it together, okay?
Okay.
Are you sure that you don't
want me to read you a story?
- I think I'm good.
- Okay.
- Good night.
- Good night.
[GRUNTS]
Life's a constant curveball ♪
And I caught it ♪
With my face ♪
All right. There you go.
You know what?
I, uh, changed my mind, uh
I think
[GRUNTS] Here.
I'll take the water instead.
[SCANNER BEEPS]
Thank you.
That wakes you from your sleep ♪
Uh, mind if I sit here?
Go ahead. Yeah.
Thank you.
[INHALES] Oh, it's a beautiful day.
Did you know this is the first time
I've ever stopped at this juice bar?
I was passing by
and something just compelled me.
How about you? You come here often?
Oh, uh, listen, um
No offense. I'm straight.
Oh, that's all right. I'm celibate.
I'm Father Brian.
It's Eddie, isn't it?
Father
So
I couldn't help but notice
that, initially, you grabbed the juice.
But then opted for the water.
Why do you think that is?
Decided I wanted water?
See, I think that you were
punishing yourself.
I think that you are denying yourself
because you don't feel worthy right now.
[SIGHS] I don't feel worthy of juice?
Of joy.
[CHUCKLES]
I don't have a lot to be joyful about.
Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
You have a son, whom you love.
Who's in Texas.
- Is he safe?
- Of course. He's with my folks.
So you have parents who love you.
And who are willing
to step up if needed.
A little too willing.
You have an occupation,
which I assume, gives you meaning.
- It does.
- And you have
that very handsome mustache.
[LAUGHS]
You want to know why I grew this?
- Tell me.
- Because the LAFD
doesn't allow beards.
Yeah, too flammable.
Otherwise, I would have gone
full mountain man.
So, it's a disguise?
Something like that.
What are you afraid of seeing
when you look in the mirror?
A failure.
A man who doesn't deserve forgiveness.
Or joy.
Oh, that's not
what God wants for you, Eddie.
He's already forgiven you.
Don't deserve to be.
So, earn it.
But in the meantime,
stop punishing yourself.
From the little that I know of you,
you're someone
who spent his life in service.
That's something that I can understand.
But we can't take care of others
if we don't first
take care of ourselves.
I understand.
Good.
And once you've done your Our Fathers,
I want you to do something frivolous,
something fun, something
that expresses pure joy.
Just nothing that violates the big ten.
I'll think about it.
Good.
[MAN ON PHONE]
Okay, sir, that's all I can do.
[PATRICK] No, you said the pool
would be done by July.
It's November,
and they barely made a dent.
[PATRICK] You get that?
[JACK] Miles?
Read Wilmer Worm.
I've already read you Wilmer Worm.
- Again.
- No, I'm busy.
Mom, Wilmer Worm!
Okay. Honey, Dad and I are
on the phone with a contractor, okay?
- Just read it to him.
- But he's so annoying!
[SABRINA] You're his big brother.
He looks up to you.
And now they're leaving.
Swear these guys are on banker's hours.
You need to come down here.
Wilmer Worm!
Wilmer Worm! Wilmer Worm!
You are a worm.
I wish you'd just wiggle away for good.
Fine. I'll read it to you.
Just give me the book.
Jack?
Jack?
Jack!
Where are you? Come on, don't be a baby.
Jack?
Jack, where are you?
[JACK] Miles?
Jack, where are you?
[JACK] Miles?
- Jack?
- Miles?
[GASPING]
- Miles?!
- Jack!
LAFD!
Over here! It's my little brother.
He fell all the way down.
We only took our eyes off him
for a second.
It's okay. Just step back,
let us have a look.
Let's go over here,
give them some space, okay?
Come on, buddy.
Well, he's about 20 feet down.
Pipe's pretty narrow.
You know where this thing leads?
No. The construction crew found it
when they were digging up our pool.
Said it was an old drainage pipe.
Got the camera, Cap.
I don't hear him anymore. Jack?
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Please get him out. It's all my fault.
- Hey, this is not your fault.
- Yes, it is.
He wanted me to read Wilmer Worm again,
and I told him to go away.
Little brothers can be annoying, I know.
But you still love him a ton.
- Right?
- Billion tons.
Please get him out.
Dispatch, this is Captain Nash, 118.
Requesting a USAR Task Force
at 5273 Ridgeford Drive
for a trench rescue ASAP.
[DISPATCHER] Copy, Captain 118.
Jack, this is Captain Bobby.
Can you hear me?
How you doing down there?
It hurts.
I know it does.
Just hold as still as you can, okay?
- Cap? Look at this.
- Yup.
Yeah, he's still sliding.
Slowly, but every millimeter is
wedging him tighter in there,
impairing his breathing.
Positional asphyxia.
Jack.
Dispatch, where's my USAR?
[DISPATCHER] 16 minutes out, 118.
- Can we get O2 down to him?
- [HEN] It won't help
- if he can't expand his lungs.
- Well, okay, so we dig.
- There's a backhoe right there.
- [BOBBY] Too risky. We need
to be precise. We use that,
we could trigger a collapse.
Someone's got to get down there.
I don't think you're gonna
fit this time, Eddie.
I can do it.
I'm his big brother.
All right, once you're
down there, I want you
to hook this under his arms
and pull it real tight.
Then you're gonna reach down
and grab his hands
'cause you'll be pulling him up.
When you're done,
kick your feet,
and we'll bring you right up.
- Got it.
- All right, time to go.
- We love you.
- Love you guys, too.
Miles?
You're a really brave guy
and a great big brother, okay?
Thank you.
All right. Ready? Here we go.
There you go. Tuck his head.
All right, you got this, Miles.
Just stay nice and relaxed.
Okay, Eddie, Buck,
no matter what, in two minutes,
we pull him up. Everybody got that?
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Come on, buddy.
You got this.
I'm coming, Jack.
- Miles?!
- [GRUNTS]
- I'm scared.
- I'm coming, Jack!
I'm coming!
It's okay. Hold still, Jack.
[EDDIE] Going good.
Great job, Miles.
[MILES GRUNTING]
I'm coming!
[MILES GRUNTING]
[GRUNTING]
Okay. I'm here, Jack.
Let me just put this under you.
Let me just
[MILES GRUNTS]
[MILES] I got you.
And we're gonna wiggle out
just like Wilmer Worm.
- Just like Wilmer Worm?
- Yeah.
Okay. He's kicking his feet. [GRUNTING]
[HOIST CLICKING]
[CHIMNEY] All right, buddy.
We got him. Good job, Miles!
Good job.
[GRUNTING]
- [BOBBY] Good job, Jack.
- Is he okay?
- He's alert and oriented.
- Mom, Dad.
Miles helped me wiggle out.
Oh. [CRIES]
Good job, Miles.
Jack's really lucky
to have a big brother like you.
And I'm lucky to have
a little brother like him.
Read Wilmer Worm.
Okay. I will, buddy.
"Wilmer Worm wiggled closer
and spied Froggy the Frog,
"sunbathing on a lily pad.
'Hello, Froggy, ' Wilmer Worm called."
[KNOCKING]
- Hey.
- Hey.
You're not gonna believe this,
I got a spot right out front.
I think we should Uber to
the movie so I don't lose it.
Uh, sure. C-Can we talk first?
Yeah, of course.
We got time. What's up?
Uh, m-maybe sit.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Okay
Uh [CHUCKLES]
So, I've been thinking about
what you shared with me the
other night at the restaurant.
My spumoni?
No, not your spumoni.
Uh, y-your story.
About how you almost got engaged.
I did get engaged.
What I didn't do was getting married.
Uh, right, uh, well-well, I-I appreciate
how honest you were with me and now I
want to be honest with you.
Uh-oh.
Oh, not "uh-oh."
Uh, in fact, m-maybe "oh." [CHUCKLES]
Okay.
Uh, here.
This will explain
or at least help break the ice.
Scroll through these.
Oh, no way. You know Abby?
Did you two?
I'm the himbo.
- Wow.
- Uh, yeah, yeah, c-crazy, right?
Yeah, and a little awkward.
Yes, it-it was for me, too, at first.
Look, I-I should've been
honest with you, at dinner.
You know? I-I was just It kind of
Freaked you out a little?
Yeah.
Uh, well, listen, obviously,
if I had known, I never
would've used that word.
I do not think that you are a himbo.
Oh, no, I-I was, I-I
I definitely was.
But that was before Abby.
W-What I had with her was not that.
At least, not-not for me.
Uh, no, m-my relationship
with Abby was
It was the most transformative
of my life.
Until now.
Look, I-I think one of the reasons
that I am so comfortable with you
is-is 'cause you're
so comfortable with you.
- I wasn't always that way.
- I know, I-I do.
And honestly, it
It just makes me admire you more.
I want you to move in with me.
I want you to move in with me.
I-I'm ready to take the next step,
and I'm not saying
let's get married or engaged,
even though we would have the right,
thanks to the brave people
who came before, including you.
All I'm saying is, why be apart
when we can be together?
Evan, that is so sweet.
But I can't move in with you.
And why not?
Because
I know how this ends.
Uh, wh-what's that supposed to mean?
Look, Evan
you're an incredible guy.
Big-hearted. Hot as hell. Funny.
Impulsive.
But what you're feeling right now is
is new.
And it's exciting, and
it feels like forever.
But you're still figuring yourself out.
And that's good.
- What are you saying?
- I'm saying
no matter how bad I wanted to be
I'm not your last.
I'm your first.
Well, hey, they-they
can be the same thing.
But they usually aren't.
If I were to move in with you,
you wouldn't mean to,
you wouldn't plan for it
but you'd end up breaking my heart.
And I
I don't think that
I could deal with that.
I should go.
Wait, wait, wait, hey, hey, um
Wait, d-did you just break up with me?
Yeah. I guess I did.
Believe me,
I didn't see it coming, either.
Should've known that parking
spot was too good to be true.
I'll see you around, Buck.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
- Hey. Where's?
- She's in bed.
Nice work.
I ran her ragged.
Excellent strategy.
Of course, now I'm a bit ragged.
Downside of an excellent strategy.
So
what if we made someone
to do that for us?
Run her ragged.
What if we gave her a brother or sister?
Well, what changed your mind?
We went on this call today
and there were these two kids.
Brothers, actually.
And the younger brother,
he went into this pipe and he got stuck.
And we really didn't think
there was gonna be
any way to get him out of there.
- [SIGHS] That's terrifying.
- Yeah, it was.
But then the older brother
he offered to go in the pipe himself
to rescue his little brother.
Turns out, he was the perfect fit.
And he got him out just in time.
Wow. So he was a hero.
See, that's the thing.
He wasn't even trying to be a hero.
He was just
he was just being a brother.
And I want our baby girl to have that.
A little brother or a sister
who will always be there for her.
Especially when you and I
leave this world.
And then she'll always have
a little part of you to protect her.
Well, and a little part of you, too.
Although there are no guarantees,
sometimes siblings don't bond.
Cain and Abel come to mind.
- Are you sure about this?
- I'm sure.
But you and I, we have to set
some ground rules, okay?
If you are ever feeling sad
or overwhelmed,
you come tell me.
And you don't get to leave.
Or try to manage this all on your own.
We have total and complete transparency.
And you're pregnant already, aren't you?
[LAUGHTER]
- Yeah.
- Why didn't you say something?
Well, I thought I had been.
[LAUGHING] Oh, my God, Maddie.
You know what, I have some rules, too.
Well, actually, just one.
We can't go into this
acting like I am broken,
or a bomb that's
gonna go off any second.
Give this a chance to be what it is.
[EXHALES] Joy.
Joy.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]
[RAZOR BUZZING]
[BUZZING STOPS]
["OLD TIME ROCK & ROLL"
BY BOB SEGER PLAYING]
♪
Just take those old records
off the shelf ♪
I sit and listen to 'em by myself ♪
Today's music
ain't got the same soul ♪
I like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪
Don't try to take me to a disco ♪
You'll never even
get me out on the floor ♪
In ten minutes
I'll be late for the door ♪
I like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪
Still like that
old time rock 'n' roll ♪
That kind of music
just soothes the soul ♪
I reminisce about the days of old ♪
With that old time rock 'n' roll ♪
Hey ♪
♪
[PANTING]
Won't go to hear 'em play a tango ♪
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'd rather hear some blues
or some funky old soul ♪
There's only one sure way
to get me to go ♪
Start playing old time rock 'n' roll ♪
Call me a relic,
call me what you will ♪
Say I'm old fashioned,
say I'm over the hill ♪
Today's music
ain't got the same soul ♪
I like that old time rock 'n' roll ♪
That kind of music
just soothes the soul ♪
I reminisce about the days of old ♪
With that old time rock 'n' roll. ♪