Last Comic Standing (2003) s08e06 Episode Script
Challenge 1 - Sketch
Previously on Last Comic Standing faced off in the semifinals.
They say stuff like all they need is a father figure.
I'm like, well, figure out who their father is then.
And laid it all on the line to earn a spot in our top ten.
And now we're on.
Tonight we'll find out who's ready for the big time, as the top ten move into the next phase of our competition the challenge round.
Here we go! Whoo! With the help of celebrity guests and mentors - Line up and bend over.
- [Laughter.]
Doesn't work.
Now I'm improvising.
the comics will have to navigate a series of challenges Ellen, let's get this thing started.
Let's do it.
specially designed to put all their comedic skills to the test.
Winning comic for "The Tram It All In Challenge" is Then each week in our head-to-head stand-up showdowns, they'll go back to basics fighting to impress our judges.
You're the one to beat.
I'm blown away.
And avoid elimination.
This is sudden death.
Find out who can perform under pressure It's not funny.
So can I just say that? Who is the complete package You just keep getting better.
And who has the talent to win an NBC development deal for their own show, $250,000, and the coveted title of Last Comic Standing.
The challenge round starts right now.
- Hey.
- We made it! Whoo! We are officially on the lots.
Today we're going to Universal Studios.
It's where Last Comic Standing headquarters is, and we're gonna find out what our first challenge is.
[Horn honks.]
Here we go! Whoo! [Chuckles.]
We got in these golf carts.
We drove all around the back lots, all this cool stuff.
Hey, top ten! I've been doing this for 25 years.
It doesn't necessarily mean I'm gonna win.
I'm gonna try to go all the way.
I feel like Rocky.
"If I can just stay in there you know, I feel like I've done something," you know? No way, that's the Jaws sign.
- There it is.
- This is my favorite movie.
dun-dun, dun-dun Get outta the water! I remember at the beginning of this year, nobody knew who I was.
I think I did a weekend there.
Being in the final ten, people in the audience will already know my name, and that would feel very special to me.
It's Lachlan Patterson.
Yeah! I know you don't know me yet, but you will, all right.
Now that the comics have had their fun on the lot, it's time for them to meet me and find out what their first challenge is.
I think everybody feels a little bit unsure about the unknown.
They're going, hey, you gotta raise a kangaroo family for a year.
Like, I don't know what the challenge is gonna be, you know what I mean? What's up, everybody? [Applause.]
Welcome to the Last Comic Standing work space here at the Jon Lovitz comedy club at Universal Studios Hollywood.
And congratulations to every last one of you for making it this far.
But don't get too comfortable.
Tonight you will face your first challenge.
It's a team challenge that we call "Sketchy Situation.
" JB says the first challenge is called "Sketchy Situation.
" I was like, wow, we gotta do a sketch, and I'd never done one before.
In this challenge we wanna see if you can make the leap from stand-up to comedic acting.
Remember, the Last Comic Standing wins a deal for their own television show.
So we wanna put your performance skills to the test.
Tonight we're gonna have you perform sketch comedy in front of a live audience in one of the top sketch comedy proving grounds in the country, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.
I'm nervous about the sketch challenge.
I don't have much sketch acting experience.
I kinda felt like I was out of my comfort zone.
You all will be randomly divided into two teams, and the winning team will get immunity for the head-to-head vote.
We've already written a sketch for you.
But in order to win the challenge, it'll be up to your team to use props, wardrobe, and great characters to make it as funny as possible.
The first thing we need to do is to choose teams.
Each one of you will take a turn opening one of these cans in front of me.
We pick out of a can, and either you get a snake, or you get a flower.
Nikki Carr.
Ahh! You are a snake.
Rod Man.
The flowers were me, Rocky Laporte, DC Benny, Jimmy Shubert Bonjour.
and Aida Rodriguez.
The other team were the snakes.
Nikki, Lachlan - Oh! - Karlous - Ohh! - Monroe [Laughs.]
and Joe.
Oh! When the teams were picked, I was worried.
I looked over at the other side of the table and thought it's gonna be tough to beat these guys.
A lot of veterans.
We're the youth.
We're gonna have to step up here.
_ Our first challenge is a sketch challenge, which I'm really comfortable with.
You know, I do characters.
That's gonna be good.
One last thing before we get started.
You're gonna get some help, everybody.
Guest mentor today has been on Curb Your Enthusiasm and Suburgatory.
My girl Cheryl Hines.
Cheryl! - JB.
- Mwah.
I was very excited to see that Cheryl Hines was the mentor.
She's really funny, her timing is good, and she held her own with Larry David.
Cheryl has years of training and Curb experience.
This makes her the perfect choice to school you guys in sketch comedy.
And not only will she be mentoring you, but after you perform she will decide which team wins the challenge and gets immunity for the head-to-head vote.
- Cheryl, any advice? - Yes.
I did sketch comedy at The Groundlings for a long time.
When you're doing stand-up, you're up there by yourself and it's about your material and connecting with the audience.
When you're doing sketch, it's about working together as a team and as an ensemble.
And you have to listen.
And you have to make your scene partner look good.
That's a good jumping off point.
In my hands are your scripts.
Feel free to make them your own.
You have two hours to prep here before we head to the theater.
Your time starts now.
Yeah.
[Maniacal laughter.]
Flowers! First of all we gotta work on the name.
That "Team Flower" thing ain't gonna work out.
The flowers, we changed our name to "The Business," which was my suggestion.
This is business.
'Cause "The Flowers" felt weird.
First things first, I think they want you to come up with a team name.
- Sketchy Snakes.
- Okay, perfect.
Let's get going, America! So did you have a good weekend? I had a great weekend.
We're doing, like, a morning show sketch with some guests, with a hit man who's selling a cookbook.
It's great to be here.
It's great to be anywhere where you don't have to worry about getting stabbed in the shower.
And then there's a guy promoting a film called Trains & Flames.
And there's another guy who survived a massive fire.
I got stuck in a massive fire.
I really wanted to be the anchor, but my man Jimmy wanted to be the anchor, so we had a little disagreement on the democratic process of picking out roles.
Breathe life into your performances a little bit.
Breathe life? Make it live a little bit breathe some life into it.
- Okay.
- Cool.
I guess I'm the team leader.
I've done some improv and some sketch.
Rocky and DC Benny and these guys, they're all pros.
I mean, it's gonna be an easy competition.
We're a team effort.
Team effort here.
- Okay.
- All right? - All right, all right.
- Sorry, I'm an aries.
I'm a natural born leader.
Joe, your hair was burnt off in a horrible fire.
There's nothing funny about that.
To prepare for our challenge, we had to pick our costumes.
And they let us kinda have a little fun with that.
Agh! Someone asked me why I was a comedian.
It's not a career you choose.
It kinda chooses you.
It's 7:00 AM, and I hope you're all having a great morning so far.
Can I-- can I stop you guys for a second? Yeah.
I wanted to check in and see how you guys are doing.
Yeah, we're going through it now and trying to put some punches in here.
- Okay.
- Cheryl is super cool.
Like, it's not every day you get to go talk to somebody who's been in movies or TV.
It's a lot.
It's a lot.
There's a lot of dialogue.
But you guys are gonna have cue cards, and you can read it, and then you can take a beat with each other to have a reaction, to have a moment, 'cause-- - But Monroe can't read.
- No, I can.
I'm trying to act and read at the same time.
I was nervous, 'cause I'm terrible at acting.
So as I'm reading, I'm trying to act.
Flying a plane while drunk is never acceptable.
No.
Oh, shit.
- Ooh, sorry.
- Okay.
I realize I got a lot of work to do.
A spokesman for the tobacco lobby said, "You see, cancer-- You see? Cancer's not looking--" I'm gonna fuck this line up.
[Laughs.]
I know.
You see-- You see? Cancer's not that bad.
Thank you.
I think it's better if you two switch just so we can see your reaction.
We got a good team.
I've done some acting, a pilot, a couple parts in movies.
What's really important is to listen and cue your scene partner.
Jimmy's the perfect guy to drive it.
So I'm excited about this.
All right, whenever you guys are ready.
You got the cue cards? So, uh, did you have a good weekend? [Laughing.]
I had a great weekend.
You know, just relaxing, hanging with the family.
Could you move those back behind the camera guy? That would be fantastic, so I could-- No, yeah, make sure I can't see them at all.
Uh, just bring 'em right here.
Thank you very much.
My biggest fear was that Jimmy wasn't really much of a team player.
And if I know anything about performance, energy is everything.
And if everybody's happy, you're gonna get what you need.
Let's just have fun and just be who we are.
- What do you mean? - It's too on the nose.
Like, we're trying too hard, and it's not funny.
So can I just say that? I never speak up.
Aida, she's a really great lady.
But I think everybody goes, oh, well, you know, that's the puppy in the group.
Once there's a live audience, it's a whole different ball game.
Hey, we're figuring it out, yeah.
It was really tough for me, because, you know, in addition to being the only woman, I had to defer a lot to seniority.
I don't think that they really took me seriously.
They went ahead and did what they wanted to do anyway.
Oh, man.
All right.
What are we doing? Jimmy's freaking out, giving orders, like, you know, he's General Patton.
Put some work in.
Ready? Aida wants to slap somebody and just go all-out Bronx on 'em.
Hey! The arguments could have gone on for, you know, another two hours.
So we kinda-- we kinda smooshed it.
Let's do it again.
Let's make everybody happy.
It seems like it's gonna be all right.
We're gonna start with you.
Tell us about your upcoming movie.
Time's up! Time's up! - Oh! - It's never up! That's all you got.
Let's roll.
Let's roll.
Let's go then.
Prep is over.
I'm really nervous.
But hopefully everything works out okay, and hopefully people like it.
Coming up, will the comics' sketches be funny or fatal? Once the rhythm is off in a sketch, you're gonna die.
Welcome back to Last Comic Standing.
We're here in Hollywood, where our comics are ready to perform their sketches at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.
Tonight, the teams will be fighting to win immunity from the head-to-head elimination.
I got a little pre-game jitters.
It's like throwing a kid into a pool.
And, like, they're either gonna sink or swim.
And hopefully-- you know, I've never done that.
I'd never kill anyone, but, like, hopefully-- hopefully they swim.
Cheryl's judging it.
I'm just gonna read out what she said.
- "Trust your instincts.
" - Trust your instincts.
- "Connect.
" - Connect.
We struggled in rehearsal, and it made me real nervous.
- Be interested.
- Yeah.
All I'm really thinking is just don't screw up your lines.
We're gonna do great.
Homeboys and homegirls, welcome to the Last Comic Standing challenge, "Sketchy Situation.
" [Cheers and applause.]
Keep that energy and enthusiasm going for Sketchy Snakes! [Cheers and applause.]
[Sighs.]
When we walked out, I guess we were expecting someone to say "Action.
" So we had a rough start.
Good morning, everyone.
I'm Royce Bentley.
- And I'm Dick Stiffley.
- And He froze up a little bit.
He kinda like panicked and went into panic mode.
in a response for the tobacco lobby-- uh, in a response-- excuse me-- a spokesman for the tobacco lobby said, "You see? Cancer's not so-- looking so bad anymore, is it?" When I was first reading off the cards and I wasn't getting any laughs, my mouth was getting dry.
But I knew-- I knew there was a laugh coming.
Dick, you are an enigma.
What'd you just call me? Once we got that first laugh, we started getting the hang of it.
And it was just flowing.
But how are you even allowed in a studio? Wow, well, you know, the warden read my book, and he loved it.
And they gave me a two-hour furlough to come out here and promote my book.
You know, as long as I promised - not to shank nobody! - Right.
Nikki is a character.
She knows how to just let loose and be like, "This is what I need to do.
" She killed it.
You like that, licorice lips? I had so much fun playing that character.
My team, mwah.
I can't believe we worked together well, and everybody listened to one another.
It was just so awesome.
It's great for the whole family.
It's laugh-out-loud funny.
I can pretty much tell you from personal experience that there is nothing hilarious about being stuck in a massive fire.
Once we got into it, my team worked very well together as a group.
We kicked ass.
Can we say, "Kicked ass"? My team kicked ass.
I think my sense of humor burned up in the fire.
Along with his eyebrows.
Okay.
And that wraps it up for us too, you guys.
Thank you very much for listening.
[Cheers and applause.]
I thought we were good.
But were we good enough to beat the other team? I don't know, but we left something up there for them.
For sure.
[Exhales.]
I feel really great about my team.
I thought our preparation was amazing.
Breathing into it, baby.
It's falling into place.
Gonna wet the whistle.
UCB, that's the mecca of sketch comedy.
We named our team "The Business," and, uh, they're gonna bring the business tonight.
This is gonna be good.
All: One, two, three.
Business.
Ah, that was terrible.
What are we doing? We gotta do that over.
That is no enthusiasm right there at all.
We-- Yeah, let's start it over.
- Let's try, come on.
- On three, man.
On three, on three, on three.
All: One, two, three.
The Business! [Applause.]
Hi! I'm Brad Chiselrod.
Let's get going, America, and quit hitting the snooze button like Rip Van Winkle.
You go up there and just take a deep breath and go on.
And I wanted to start the sketch with a lot of energy, and that's all you can do.
And just trust that it'll go off real well.
So how was your weekend? My weekend was fantastic.
- I went wine tasting upstate-- - What a shocker.
FYI, this ain't coffee.
And now it's on.
Welcome, welcome.
Thank you very much.
It's good to be here.
Actually, it's great to be anywhere that you're not gonna get stabbed in the shower, - you know what I'm saying? - Ohh.
Hey, thanks for joining us.
Do I call you "Joey" or "Mr.
Biscuits?" Okay.
Yeah.
Not really-- - Go ahead.
- Go ahead.
I was just-- just-- Started strong, but everybody was feeling the pressure.
You know, it was uncomfortable, and I think it was uncomfortable for everybody.
How is that you get to be here with us and you're, you know, allowed in the studio with us here? Like I was just hoping that somebody would slide me some vodka so I could just get through it, because I could feel the sketch falling apart.
Joining is us is Lance Jenkins, who survived, miraculously, a near-death experience.
Eh, let's start without him.
I also have Angus Corgionne, the screenwriter of an upcoming animated comedy, Trains & Flames.
He'll be also joining us.
We struggled a little bit onstage.
Think Jimmy was a little flustered.
Uh, tell us a little bit about your new movie.
Well, it's called Trains & Flames.
Our chemistry was off.
We had cue card problems.
We had cue card problems everywhere.
What started off as a very-- uh, okay, we're ready, yeah.
What started off as a leisurely bike ride turned into a living hell.
Once the rhythm is off in a sketch and it's live, eh, you're gonna die.
Okay, it's almost time-- - I guess I lost my sense of humor in the fire.
I guess I lost my sense of humor in the fire.
Along with those eyebrows! - Choo-choo.
- Ooh.
Something that Cheryl kept saying was remember to listen.
Okay, well-- Don't you talk about my eyebrows.
- I don't like that.
- Uh, thank you.
And I think Jimmy wasn't listening.
It's 7:15 AM.
We'll see you after the break.
You guys know what? Huh? Nah, it was-- it was fast and furious.
Reading cue cards is a learned skill.
- Oh, yeah, that was-- - It is a learned skill.
Yeah, 'cause I had a moment, I was like, "Oh.
" You guys did a great job.
It's not gonna be Shakespeare out there.
We all had hiccups.
You know, we all had little burps, and I guess we win and lose as a team, you know? For a bunch of stand-ups that had, you know, two hours, that ain't bad.
JB's about to announce the winner.
We're really nervous, but I saw the good chemistry that everyone had, which is the most important part.
So I kinda felt like we're gonna do pretty good.
_ - Let's do it.
- It's decision time.
- Yes.
- Oh, shucks.
Oh! We just watched two hilarious performances by The Business and Sketchy Snakes.
Cheryl, overall, what did you think about the performances tonight? You guys all took notes very well.
And your characters were great.
But overall, you know, I was telling everybody, you have to really listen to what other characters are saying and let that really be a part of what you're doing onstage.
And I felt like there was one team that did it better.
Ooh.
All right! The winning team, safe from elimination this week, is [Suspenseful music.]
The Sketchy Snakes! [Cheers and applause.]
I cannot believe I have immunity! Ha ha! I don't know what else to tell you.
I'm just glad I won't be going home.
Get over here, burn victim.
We were the best team ever and we won.
Team The Business, you guys gave it your best, but you fell short.
Unfortunately, that means you guys will face elimination in tomorrow's head-to-head vote.
I think we would have won if we would have exercised the number one rule of acting, which is listening.
I think that Jimmy probably had the hardest time doing that.
I could be voted for.
I could be going to the head-to-head.
But I thought there was a weak link.
We'll see what happens, see how it plays out.
Game on.
People are going home.
Coming up, the comics vote to decide whose head will be on the chopping block.
I know I am funnier than We're back at the Last Coming Standing work space where the comics are about to vote for their first head-to-head elimination.
This week and this week only, three comics will take the stage and face a double elimination.
- Hello, guys.
- Hey.
Hope everybody got a good rest last night, right? - Yeah.
- Yes.
It's time for the elimination vote.
So far you guys have been judged by our judges and our mentors.
Now you're gonna judge each other.
The voting process, man, that's something else.
One at a time, you gotta go into a booth and stare into a camera and say, "I know I am funnier than dot, dot, dot.
" And then you'll name the comic you think should face elimination.
The person with the most votes will have to perform tonight and will select two opponents.
But they can only select from among those that voted against them.
So let's get the voting started with Jimmy Shubert.
The Snakes won that challenge.
That team had immunity.
There was five people you couldn't vote for.
It's just based on what happened yesterday.
That is how I'm voting.
I don't wanna do this.
[Breathing heavily.]
I'm outta breath, 'cause those are a lot of steps.
I know I'm funnier than Jimmy Shubert.
I honestly didn't want to vote against anyone.
But I knew that Jimmy was coming for me.
I know I'm funnier than Aida Rodriguez.
Okay.
I mean, you make a relationship with people, so you don't wanna see nobody dream get crushed at this portion of the game, but, you know, somebody got to go.
You all have voted.
Now it's time to reveal the results.
And guess what, we're going to watch them all together.
Whoo, yeah! I thought no one was gonna know who we voted for.
JB said we're gonna watch the votes in front of everyone.
I didn't know they were gonna do that.
I know I'm funnier than Aida Rodriguez.
That's one vote for Aida.
I know I'm funnier than, uh, Aida.
That's two votes for Aida.
I knew that I was gonna be the one that they came for, 'cause I've been doing stand-up the least.
I think I'm funnier than Aida.
Mutiny.
We gotta vote against each other.
That's a weird thing.
I'm funnier than Rocky Laporte.
You're like, I thought we were buddies.
Like, what happened here, you know? I wouldn't really say I'm funnier than anybody.
But I know they can handle themselves.
I'll say DC Benny.
Aida's leading the pack right now with three votes.
I know I am funnier than the guy at Subway, Attila The Hun [Chuckling.]
Hall but not Oates.
Mm-hmm.
Oates was funny.
[Laughter.]
And Rod Man.
I see him now.
We're not eating breakfast together no more.
That's three votes for aida.
One vote for Rocky.
One vote for Rod Man.
And one vote for DC Benny.
Whoo, I'm gonna have to pull out my calculator in a minute.
I know I'm funnier than Jimmy Shubert.
That's right! I said it! I'm a woman.
I said it.
Let's see what's going on next.
Hey, this is Karlous Miller.
I think-- I know I'm funnier than Jimmy Shubert.
Oh, it's getting good now.
It's not that I don't love you, 'cause I do.
I think I'm funnier than Jimmy.
You know, I've been doing this for 25 years.
I'm a great comic.
You know, if there was an opportunity to get me out of the competition, I mean, that's somebody you don't have to go up against later.
You're neck and neck now.
Three for Aida, three for Jimmy.
Now this is the last vote.
See what happens.
[Suspenseful music.]
Judging by yesterday's performances I think I'm funnier than Uh-oh.
You're neck and neck now.
Three for Aida.
Three for Jimmy.
Now this is the last vote.
Let's see what happens.
[Suspenseful music.]
Judging by yesterday's performances I think I'm funnier than Jimmy Shubert.
I voted for Jimmy because, as the team leader, if the team fails, uh, we got to look at you, Jimmy.
And that's what we did.
I took the lead on the sketch show.
You know, I have to take full responsibility for that.
Jimmy Shubert, you will have to perform tonight.
Four comics voted for Jimmy, but two of them had immunity.
Therefore, the other two, Aida and Rod Man, are forced into the triple-header.
Jimmy, they will be your challengers tonight.
[Sighs.]
I got sucked in by technicalities.
So we grab the microphone and we go to work this evening.
So there you have it, Rod Man, Aida, and Jimmy.
Your fate will be decided by the judges.
I'll see you at the improv.
Good luck, guys.
I'm well aware that I'm going up against probably the two funniest guys in the competition.
I'm just gonna do what I do, and if I go home, I go home, but I'm not going out without a fight.
The comics have already competed on the big stage.
Now they'll return to their roots and duke it out in a comedy club, where they'll have to impress the judges to stay in the competition.
I'm too tired to be nervous.
Pfft.
That whole day was exhausting.
Aida, Rod Man, and myself are backstage at improv getting ready for their first head-to-head.
And hopefully everybody does well, you make it as tough as possible for the judges.
Well, hello, guys.
Hey, Russell.
I'm just here to give you, you know, a little pep talk.
I mean, obviously two of you are gonna go home tonight.
We're down to ten comics.
They've had their first challenge.
And I think the only obstacle these guys have to overcome is nerves tonight, because it's a mental game you're playing.
So is anybody gonna crack under the pressure? Are they all gonna come correct? Who knows? Focus on making that audience in front of you laugh, and connect and do that thing that you do that brought you to where you are right now.
I really want all three of you to kill.
And I want it to be the hardest decision of our lives to have to choose who's gonna go home.
On the stage, that's where I'm comfortable.
You know, and you get to save yourself with stand-up.
Gloves are off tonight.
Let's do this.
- See you, guys.
- Bye, Russell.
[Cheers and applause.]
Tonight we are here for a throwdown.
[Cheers and applause.]
The first of our head-to-head elimination shows.
Three comics will come out here and perform.
At the end of the show, the judges will name one of them the winner.
Give it up for Keenen Ivory Wayans over there.
[Cheers and applause.]
How 'bout Russell Peters, y'all? RP! [Cheers and applause.]
I call her "Queen Roseanne.
" Roseanne in the building, y'all! [Cheers and applause.]
Okay, are you ready to laugh? [Cheers and applause.]
Coming to the stage, my man, Jimmy Shubert.
[Cheers and applause.]
Oh, thank you, thank you.
It's good to be here.
I got dumped via text message.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking.
Jimmy, how could that happen? You're such a peach.
Yeah, when you care enough to send the very least.
Thank you for honoring our time together with 30 seconds of tapping and a frowny face.
I mean, I'll never forget the day it happened.
I woke up.
It was a beautiful day.
Oh, what's this? Somebody texted me during the night.
This is what I got.
"I can't give you what you emotionally need.
You seem like a nice guy.
You deserve the truth.
It's not you.
It's me.
" Really? You thumb-dumping me? I felt bad, then I realized, you know, that's happened all throughout history as technologies have emerged.
People have always used 'em for a wrong reason.
I guarantee you, you go back, you can find some story of a dude getting dumped via morse code.
You know that happened.
Dot-dash, dash-dash-dot, dot-dash, dash-dot.
Oh, we're getting news from afar.
It must be important.
What's it say? "I can't give you what you emotionally need, stop.
You seem like a nice guy, stop.
Seriously, stop calling, stop.
Just stop.
" Back when America was getting settled, there was a very famous Native American woman named Pocahontas, who was dating one of the early white settlers, John Smith.
They had a falling out.
And some of the tribe elders said, "No longer date the white man.
" She said, "All right, get that fire going and get me a blanket.
This is gonna hurt him.
I can't give you what you emotionally need.
" Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
Jimmy Shubert! [Cheers and applause.]
Roseanne, let's hear what you thought about Jimmy Shubert.
Great writing, great performance, great energy.
You know, we know that you know what you're doing.
And I loved it.
Thank you.
[Cheers and applause.]
In my current act I have a bit about breaking up with a girl via text.
But watching you do it makes me go, "Man, there's a lot of holes in what I'm writing.
" [Laughter.]
Um, I liked the fact that you went back in time.
You went the other way with it, and I didn't see it coming.
You impressed the hell outta me, but I don't know if the audience connected with you the way we wanted them to.
But maybe it's not you, it's them, you know? - So - [Laughter.]
[Applause.]
I like the way you did it.
You know, we first saw you sort of in the bigger room, and now in the smaller room what I liked was that you continue with the confidence knowing that you were gonna lure them in, and by the end of the act when you were doing the thing with the Pocahontas, you had the audience applauding.
And I really liked the way you just held to your material and followed through.
And I thought you did a really good job.
Thank you, Keenen.
Thank you.
Make him feel good, y'all.
This is Jimmy Shubert right here! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
[Exhales.]
- Okay.
- [Laughs.]
- Ooh.
- Hey, hey, relief? - Oh, relief.
- How'd it go? It went good, real good.
My head is out of the game a little bit, but my heart is in it.
And so I wanna take them out, and I wanna stay in the competition.
- Have fun.
- Thank you.
Let's have a big hand for Aida Rodriguez! [Cheers and applause.]
Good evening.
I'll Google myself all the time.
Does anybody else do that? I do, I Google myself to see what's going on.
But my name is Aida Rodriguez, a very common name in Latin America.
Both of my grandmothers' names are Aida Rodriguez, and they come from two different countries.
Right? Let me tell you something.
I found out that I'm wanted for welfare fraud in New York, a home invasion in Tampa, Florida, giving people herpes in Arizona.
Now I know why men don't call me back, 'cause they Google me.
[Laughter.]
It's probably for the best, 'cause I don't do well with men.
I was dating a preacher's kid.
They will mess up your life in the name of Jesus, you know? He used to-- Everything he did he tried to justify with the Bible.
You know what I mean? I was like, hey, you can't go around sleeping with everybody.
He said, "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.
" You're not afraid of diseases? "Though I walk through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil.
" No condom? "No weapon formed against me shall prosper.
" But nobody has ever made me feel like I don't know how to pick a man more than the Child Support System.
In the last 12 years, I have gotten $8,900 in Child Support.
That's, like, $2.
20 a day.
But you know what that means? That for what it costs to buy a cup of coffee in America, you can have a kid from Aida Rodriguez.
Thank you.
[Cheers and applause.]
Aida Rodriguez, everybody! [Cheers and applause.]
I think the energy in the room is a little low.
And, uh, it felt to me like you let that energy affect your energy.
I saw you going for it, but then there was times where you pulled back.
And I just felt like that might have-- I was, like, you know, I'm rooting for you.
So I'm like, "Come on, Aida, just kick 'em in the nuts.
" [Laughter.]
I think you let this audience throw you, and I was not happy to see that, 'cause I wanted to see you come in here and-- Oh, my beat-down started earlier today.
It didn't start in the room.
But you know what, that's part of comedy is, like, all of us have had really bad disappointments.
Absolutely.
Me having a honeymoon with Tom Arnold and everything.
But, um [Laughter and applause.]
You know, but I think you're a great comic.
And, uh, I think you're real funny.
Thank you so much.
That means a lot to me coming from you.
I think you have just a real different voice, and I think you did a great job.
Thank you.
Thank you.
One more time for Aida Rodriguez, everybody! [Cheers and applause.]
The judges were honest.
They could feel my nervousness.
But they still said things to me that made me, uh, inspired, and I appreciate that.
How you feel? How you feel? Mm, wasn't my best set.
Okay.
It's my turn to compete in the head to head, and two people are going home tonight.
I mean, you don't want nobody to go home.
But if I'm in the boat and we all drowning, uh, I'm gonna try to swim back to shore.
So I'm swimming.
Are you ready to laugh? Come on! [Cheers and applause.]
_ All right, baby, go down.
Yeah, man.
Coming up, Rod Man takes the stage with an eye on the prize.
I don't know if you ever seen nobody with a glass eye, but it didn't do stuff like eyes do.
And then the judges announce who stays in the competition and who goes home.
- Are you ready to laugh? - [Cheers and applause.]
I said, are you ready to laugh? _ All right, baby, go down.
Yeah, man.
Please put your hands together for Rod Man! [Cheers and applause.]
All right.
Thank you very much.
- I appreciate your love.
- Yeah, man.
I never knew my father.
I never knew my father.
I was raised by a single mama.
Strong black woman, you know? I had-- I did have little stepdaddies.
I had a cool little stepdaddy named Frank.
But he was an angry little dude, you know? Yeah, you ever see a grown man that don't grow like grown people grow? And, yeah, and that used to bother him.
You know, we didn't know that Frank was angry about his height.
But, uh, you know, he used to try to tell us to do stuff, and we'd be like, "Get on, Little Frank.
" You know, we're not scared of you, 'cause, you know, we felt like we could whoop Frank ass really.
We really felt that we could whoop Frank's ass.
But, you know, we tried to mind him.
But he had a glass eye.
I don't know if you ever seen nobody with a glass eye, but it didn't do stuff like eyes do.
It just used to look at you all the time.
And we was little kids, and we like, "Mama, Frank keep looking at us.
" And she like, "That man is asleep.
He asleep.
" And, uh, we were like, "Well, somebody need to go shut that eye then," 'cause evidently, uh, it was like the eye was on NoDoz or something.
Just woke all the time.
We learned to appreciate the eye.
At least he had an eye, but he was an angry little man.
So one day he got to arguing with the man next door.
And the man told Frank, he be like, "Frank, keep on, I'm gonna knock your damn eye out.
" And you done heard people say that, but you don't really think that can happen in real life.
You like, you can't knock a whole eye out.
That don't happen.
But Frank went out there, and he led with the wrong eye.
He led-- Yeah, 'cause the eye was woke.
It was woke, but it wasn't alert at all.
It was just woke.
And the dude start hitting Frank in the eye.
And we was like, "Whoa, Frank, duck.
Duck, Frank.
" You know? And Frank was like, "I got him, I got him.
" And we's like-- we were like, "We can't tell, we can't tell, 'cause that is not how you have nobody.
" But, uh, I gotta give the eye credit.
It was a tough-ass eye.
I don't know where he got it from, but we were like, "That's a tough-ass eye, Frank.
" You know, but the little eye got tired, and it actually fell out.
And we were like, "Whoa, he has knocked Frank's eye out.
" And, uh, Frank was like, "Y'all, help me find my eye, help me find my eye.
" But we was little kids, we were like, "Frank, we don't know what an eye look like outside the eye.
" You know, you ain't never just been outside playing, be like, "Man, somebody dropped their eye outside.
" And you go in the house and be like, "Mama, I found an eye outside.
" And she be like, "Throw that damn eye back outside.
Don't bring that--" You know, I been Rod Man, man.
I appreciate y'all, man.
Much love.
Thank you very much.
Appreciate it.
Put your hands together for Rod Man! [Cheers and applause.]
The Rod Man never disappoints.
The eye story is one of-- [Laughter.]
Yeah.
That's one of the funniest stories I've ever heard.
I mean, I think you did a great job.
Thank you, Mr.
Wayans.
Thank you, Mr.
Wayans.
Appreciate it.
Your style is your style.
- Thank you, Russell.
- You know what I mean? And nobody can ever steal your material.
That's what makes you Rod Man.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it, yes.
I've never seen anything like you and what you could do.
And I swear, I think you could just keep on going.
You know, and get a laugh, like, off the top of your head for two, three hours.
I'd be laughing.
You would listen that long? You would listen that long? I would.
I have great respect for your artistry, and I think you did great.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
Thank you, thank you.
Appreciate it, appreciate it.
Give it up one more time for Rod Man, everybody! It's Rod Man! [Cheers and applause.]
You just saw three strong performances.
Judges, now it's up to you.
Please take a moment to deliberate.
Hey, guys, either way, anything it goes, it was great hanging with you cats, great getting to know you guys, really.
Absolutely.
To win tonight would be great because you've survived a double elimination, and now you're in the top eight.
And an opportunity like this, it just takes you to the next level.
For me it's always been greater than just winning a competition, but making a statement for mothers and women and people of color.
- Follow you? - Yep.
I think I did well, but it's up to the judges.
Good luck.
May the best man or woman win.
[Applause.]
The judges have made their decision.
One of these comics will be safe and will remain in the running for $250,000, an NBC development deal for your own show, and the title of Last Comic Standing, baby! [Cheers and applause.]
However, the others will be eliminated from the competition.
Judges, any final thoughts? It gets harder and harder for us to make these kinda choices because we know that each of these guys individually are stars.
Be proud of what you've done and celebrate tonight and the entire competition that you've been a part of.
You knew you were gonna go from playing clubs to selling out clubs now.
And it has to do with you and what you did on the show.
So you didn't lose tonight.
You just moved on to a different phase of your career.
For the two people who aren't gonna go on tonight, internalize it and get pissed off, and, next time, use it, machine gun through it, and, you know, turn it on them.
And that's all you gotta do.
[Applause.]
The judges have decided that the winner of tonight's head-to-head performance is [Suspenseful music.]
Rod Man! [Cheers and applause.]
JB called my name, I felt relieved and excited and, uh, you know, happy.
[Cheers and applause.]
I'm sad to see Jimmy and Aida leave the competition, but somebody must go.
And I'm happy it's not me tonight.
We're gonna have to say good-bye to you guys.
So sorry, but you need to go.
[Cheers and applause.]
All I had control over was my set, and I thought that went very well.
And it's all you can do.
I was happy to have all these experiences.
I don't have one regret, not one.
Yeah.
It's interesting that the person who's been doing stand-up the least and the one that's been doing it the most are both going home on the same night.
So what that says to me is that this competition is fair.
Give me a hug, come on.
It was fun.
The audience at the improv voted for Jimmy Shubert to go on to the online comic comeback competition, where he'll be facing last week's favorite eliminated comic, Alingon Mitra.
Go to nbc.
com to vote.
Next week the challenge round continues in a big way.
Who's ready for the big time? Who feels they're ready for the big time? When the comics make a special trip to The Ellen DeGeneres Show The Ellen? Can you imagine that? For an unforgettable challenge.
- Let's get this thing started.
- Let's do it.
Celebrity mentor Wanda Sykes will prepare the comics to be interviewed by legendary comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres.
Line up and bend over.
[Laughter.]
And Ellen's audience will pick the winner.
And the winner is Then two comics will face off in a no-holds-barred stand-up showdown.
Two comics will enter the comedy dome, but only one will survive.
Tune in for one of the biggest Are you ready for the big time? baddest I would love to be on there dancing with Ellen.
That's history.
and funniest nights of comedy.
It's not Soul Train.
It's Last Comic Standing.
as we move another step closer to finding out who will be the Last Comic Standing.
They say stuff like all they need is a father figure.
I'm like, well, figure out who their father is then.
And laid it all on the line to earn a spot in our top ten.
And now we're on.
Tonight we'll find out who's ready for the big time, as the top ten move into the next phase of our competition the challenge round.
Here we go! Whoo! With the help of celebrity guests and mentors - Line up and bend over.
- [Laughter.]
Doesn't work.
Now I'm improvising.
the comics will have to navigate a series of challenges Ellen, let's get this thing started.
Let's do it.
specially designed to put all their comedic skills to the test.
Winning comic for "The Tram It All In Challenge" is Then each week in our head-to-head stand-up showdowns, they'll go back to basics fighting to impress our judges.
You're the one to beat.
I'm blown away.
And avoid elimination.
This is sudden death.
Find out who can perform under pressure It's not funny.
So can I just say that? Who is the complete package You just keep getting better.
And who has the talent to win an NBC development deal for their own show, $250,000, and the coveted title of Last Comic Standing.
The challenge round starts right now.
- Hey.
- We made it! Whoo! We are officially on the lots.
Today we're going to Universal Studios.
It's where Last Comic Standing headquarters is, and we're gonna find out what our first challenge is.
[Horn honks.]
Here we go! Whoo! [Chuckles.]
We got in these golf carts.
We drove all around the back lots, all this cool stuff.
Hey, top ten! I've been doing this for 25 years.
It doesn't necessarily mean I'm gonna win.
I'm gonna try to go all the way.
I feel like Rocky.
"If I can just stay in there you know, I feel like I've done something," you know? No way, that's the Jaws sign.
- There it is.
- This is my favorite movie.
dun-dun, dun-dun Get outta the water! I remember at the beginning of this year, nobody knew who I was.
I think I did a weekend there.
Being in the final ten, people in the audience will already know my name, and that would feel very special to me.
It's Lachlan Patterson.
Yeah! I know you don't know me yet, but you will, all right.
Now that the comics have had their fun on the lot, it's time for them to meet me and find out what their first challenge is.
I think everybody feels a little bit unsure about the unknown.
They're going, hey, you gotta raise a kangaroo family for a year.
Like, I don't know what the challenge is gonna be, you know what I mean? What's up, everybody? [Applause.]
Welcome to the Last Comic Standing work space here at the Jon Lovitz comedy club at Universal Studios Hollywood.
And congratulations to every last one of you for making it this far.
But don't get too comfortable.
Tonight you will face your first challenge.
It's a team challenge that we call "Sketchy Situation.
" JB says the first challenge is called "Sketchy Situation.
" I was like, wow, we gotta do a sketch, and I'd never done one before.
In this challenge we wanna see if you can make the leap from stand-up to comedic acting.
Remember, the Last Comic Standing wins a deal for their own television show.
So we wanna put your performance skills to the test.
Tonight we're gonna have you perform sketch comedy in front of a live audience in one of the top sketch comedy proving grounds in the country, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.
I'm nervous about the sketch challenge.
I don't have much sketch acting experience.
I kinda felt like I was out of my comfort zone.
You all will be randomly divided into two teams, and the winning team will get immunity for the head-to-head vote.
We've already written a sketch for you.
But in order to win the challenge, it'll be up to your team to use props, wardrobe, and great characters to make it as funny as possible.
The first thing we need to do is to choose teams.
Each one of you will take a turn opening one of these cans in front of me.
We pick out of a can, and either you get a snake, or you get a flower.
Nikki Carr.
Ahh! You are a snake.
Rod Man.
The flowers were me, Rocky Laporte, DC Benny, Jimmy Shubert Bonjour.
and Aida Rodriguez.
The other team were the snakes.
Nikki, Lachlan - Oh! - Karlous - Ohh! - Monroe [Laughs.]
and Joe.
Oh! When the teams were picked, I was worried.
I looked over at the other side of the table and thought it's gonna be tough to beat these guys.
A lot of veterans.
We're the youth.
We're gonna have to step up here.
_ Our first challenge is a sketch challenge, which I'm really comfortable with.
You know, I do characters.
That's gonna be good.
One last thing before we get started.
You're gonna get some help, everybody.
Guest mentor today has been on Curb Your Enthusiasm and Suburgatory.
My girl Cheryl Hines.
Cheryl! - JB.
- Mwah.
I was very excited to see that Cheryl Hines was the mentor.
She's really funny, her timing is good, and she held her own with Larry David.
Cheryl has years of training and Curb experience.
This makes her the perfect choice to school you guys in sketch comedy.
And not only will she be mentoring you, but after you perform she will decide which team wins the challenge and gets immunity for the head-to-head vote.
- Cheryl, any advice? - Yes.
I did sketch comedy at The Groundlings for a long time.
When you're doing stand-up, you're up there by yourself and it's about your material and connecting with the audience.
When you're doing sketch, it's about working together as a team and as an ensemble.
And you have to listen.
And you have to make your scene partner look good.
That's a good jumping off point.
In my hands are your scripts.
Feel free to make them your own.
You have two hours to prep here before we head to the theater.
Your time starts now.
Yeah.
[Maniacal laughter.]
Flowers! First of all we gotta work on the name.
That "Team Flower" thing ain't gonna work out.
The flowers, we changed our name to "The Business," which was my suggestion.
This is business.
'Cause "The Flowers" felt weird.
First things first, I think they want you to come up with a team name.
- Sketchy Snakes.
- Okay, perfect.
Let's get going, America! So did you have a good weekend? I had a great weekend.
We're doing, like, a morning show sketch with some guests, with a hit man who's selling a cookbook.
It's great to be here.
It's great to be anywhere where you don't have to worry about getting stabbed in the shower.
And then there's a guy promoting a film called Trains & Flames.
And there's another guy who survived a massive fire.
I got stuck in a massive fire.
I really wanted to be the anchor, but my man Jimmy wanted to be the anchor, so we had a little disagreement on the democratic process of picking out roles.
Breathe life into your performances a little bit.
Breathe life? Make it live a little bit breathe some life into it.
- Okay.
- Cool.
I guess I'm the team leader.
I've done some improv and some sketch.
Rocky and DC Benny and these guys, they're all pros.
I mean, it's gonna be an easy competition.
We're a team effort.
Team effort here.
- Okay.
- All right? - All right, all right.
- Sorry, I'm an aries.
I'm a natural born leader.
Joe, your hair was burnt off in a horrible fire.
There's nothing funny about that.
To prepare for our challenge, we had to pick our costumes.
And they let us kinda have a little fun with that.
Agh! Someone asked me why I was a comedian.
It's not a career you choose.
It kinda chooses you.
It's 7:00 AM, and I hope you're all having a great morning so far.
Can I-- can I stop you guys for a second? Yeah.
I wanted to check in and see how you guys are doing.
Yeah, we're going through it now and trying to put some punches in here.
- Okay.
- Cheryl is super cool.
Like, it's not every day you get to go talk to somebody who's been in movies or TV.
It's a lot.
It's a lot.
There's a lot of dialogue.
But you guys are gonna have cue cards, and you can read it, and then you can take a beat with each other to have a reaction, to have a moment, 'cause-- - But Monroe can't read.
- No, I can.
I'm trying to act and read at the same time.
I was nervous, 'cause I'm terrible at acting.
So as I'm reading, I'm trying to act.
Flying a plane while drunk is never acceptable.
No.
Oh, shit.
- Ooh, sorry.
- Okay.
I realize I got a lot of work to do.
A spokesman for the tobacco lobby said, "You see, cancer-- You see? Cancer's not looking--" I'm gonna fuck this line up.
[Laughs.]
I know.
You see-- You see? Cancer's not that bad.
Thank you.
I think it's better if you two switch just so we can see your reaction.
We got a good team.
I've done some acting, a pilot, a couple parts in movies.
What's really important is to listen and cue your scene partner.
Jimmy's the perfect guy to drive it.
So I'm excited about this.
All right, whenever you guys are ready.
You got the cue cards? So, uh, did you have a good weekend? [Laughing.]
I had a great weekend.
You know, just relaxing, hanging with the family.
Could you move those back behind the camera guy? That would be fantastic, so I could-- No, yeah, make sure I can't see them at all.
Uh, just bring 'em right here.
Thank you very much.
My biggest fear was that Jimmy wasn't really much of a team player.
And if I know anything about performance, energy is everything.
And if everybody's happy, you're gonna get what you need.
Let's just have fun and just be who we are.
- What do you mean? - It's too on the nose.
Like, we're trying too hard, and it's not funny.
So can I just say that? I never speak up.
Aida, she's a really great lady.
But I think everybody goes, oh, well, you know, that's the puppy in the group.
Once there's a live audience, it's a whole different ball game.
Hey, we're figuring it out, yeah.
It was really tough for me, because, you know, in addition to being the only woman, I had to defer a lot to seniority.
I don't think that they really took me seriously.
They went ahead and did what they wanted to do anyway.
Oh, man.
All right.
What are we doing? Jimmy's freaking out, giving orders, like, you know, he's General Patton.
Put some work in.
Ready? Aida wants to slap somebody and just go all-out Bronx on 'em.
Hey! The arguments could have gone on for, you know, another two hours.
So we kinda-- we kinda smooshed it.
Let's do it again.
Let's make everybody happy.
It seems like it's gonna be all right.
We're gonna start with you.
Tell us about your upcoming movie.
Time's up! Time's up! - Oh! - It's never up! That's all you got.
Let's roll.
Let's roll.
Let's go then.
Prep is over.
I'm really nervous.
But hopefully everything works out okay, and hopefully people like it.
Coming up, will the comics' sketches be funny or fatal? Once the rhythm is off in a sketch, you're gonna die.
Welcome back to Last Comic Standing.
We're here in Hollywood, where our comics are ready to perform their sketches at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.
Tonight, the teams will be fighting to win immunity from the head-to-head elimination.
I got a little pre-game jitters.
It's like throwing a kid into a pool.
And, like, they're either gonna sink or swim.
And hopefully-- you know, I've never done that.
I'd never kill anyone, but, like, hopefully-- hopefully they swim.
Cheryl's judging it.
I'm just gonna read out what she said.
- "Trust your instincts.
" - Trust your instincts.
- "Connect.
" - Connect.
We struggled in rehearsal, and it made me real nervous.
- Be interested.
- Yeah.
All I'm really thinking is just don't screw up your lines.
We're gonna do great.
Homeboys and homegirls, welcome to the Last Comic Standing challenge, "Sketchy Situation.
" [Cheers and applause.]
Keep that energy and enthusiasm going for Sketchy Snakes! [Cheers and applause.]
[Sighs.]
When we walked out, I guess we were expecting someone to say "Action.
" So we had a rough start.
Good morning, everyone.
I'm Royce Bentley.
- And I'm Dick Stiffley.
- And He froze up a little bit.
He kinda like panicked and went into panic mode.
in a response for the tobacco lobby-- uh, in a response-- excuse me-- a spokesman for the tobacco lobby said, "You see? Cancer's not so-- looking so bad anymore, is it?" When I was first reading off the cards and I wasn't getting any laughs, my mouth was getting dry.
But I knew-- I knew there was a laugh coming.
Dick, you are an enigma.
What'd you just call me? Once we got that first laugh, we started getting the hang of it.
And it was just flowing.
But how are you even allowed in a studio? Wow, well, you know, the warden read my book, and he loved it.
And they gave me a two-hour furlough to come out here and promote my book.
You know, as long as I promised - not to shank nobody! - Right.
Nikki is a character.
She knows how to just let loose and be like, "This is what I need to do.
" She killed it.
You like that, licorice lips? I had so much fun playing that character.
My team, mwah.
I can't believe we worked together well, and everybody listened to one another.
It was just so awesome.
It's great for the whole family.
It's laugh-out-loud funny.
I can pretty much tell you from personal experience that there is nothing hilarious about being stuck in a massive fire.
Once we got into it, my team worked very well together as a group.
We kicked ass.
Can we say, "Kicked ass"? My team kicked ass.
I think my sense of humor burned up in the fire.
Along with his eyebrows.
Okay.
And that wraps it up for us too, you guys.
Thank you very much for listening.
[Cheers and applause.]
I thought we were good.
But were we good enough to beat the other team? I don't know, but we left something up there for them.
For sure.
[Exhales.]
I feel really great about my team.
I thought our preparation was amazing.
Breathing into it, baby.
It's falling into place.
Gonna wet the whistle.
UCB, that's the mecca of sketch comedy.
We named our team "The Business," and, uh, they're gonna bring the business tonight.
This is gonna be good.
All: One, two, three.
Business.
Ah, that was terrible.
What are we doing? We gotta do that over.
That is no enthusiasm right there at all.
We-- Yeah, let's start it over.
- Let's try, come on.
- On three, man.
On three, on three, on three.
All: One, two, three.
The Business! [Applause.]
Hi! I'm Brad Chiselrod.
Let's get going, America, and quit hitting the snooze button like Rip Van Winkle.
You go up there and just take a deep breath and go on.
And I wanted to start the sketch with a lot of energy, and that's all you can do.
And just trust that it'll go off real well.
So how was your weekend? My weekend was fantastic.
- I went wine tasting upstate-- - What a shocker.
FYI, this ain't coffee.
And now it's on.
Welcome, welcome.
Thank you very much.
It's good to be here.
Actually, it's great to be anywhere that you're not gonna get stabbed in the shower, - you know what I'm saying? - Ohh.
Hey, thanks for joining us.
Do I call you "Joey" or "Mr.
Biscuits?" Okay.
Yeah.
Not really-- - Go ahead.
- Go ahead.
I was just-- just-- Started strong, but everybody was feeling the pressure.
You know, it was uncomfortable, and I think it was uncomfortable for everybody.
How is that you get to be here with us and you're, you know, allowed in the studio with us here? Like I was just hoping that somebody would slide me some vodka so I could just get through it, because I could feel the sketch falling apart.
Joining is us is Lance Jenkins, who survived, miraculously, a near-death experience.
Eh, let's start without him.
I also have Angus Corgionne, the screenwriter of an upcoming animated comedy, Trains & Flames.
He'll be also joining us.
We struggled a little bit onstage.
Think Jimmy was a little flustered.
Uh, tell us a little bit about your new movie.
Well, it's called Trains & Flames.
Our chemistry was off.
We had cue card problems.
We had cue card problems everywhere.
What started off as a very-- uh, okay, we're ready, yeah.
What started off as a leisurely bike ride turned into a living hell.
Once the rhythm is off in a sketch and it's live, eh, you're gonna die.
Okay, it's almost time-- - I guess I lost my sense of humor in the fire.
I guess I lost my sense of humor in the fire.
Along with those eyebrows! - Choo-choo.
- Ooh.
Something that Cheryl kept saying was remember to listen.
Okay, well-- Don't you talk about my eyebrows.
- I don't like that.
- Uh, thank you.
And I think Jimmy wasn't listening.
It's 7:15 AM.
We'll see you after the break.
You guys know what? Huh? Nah, it was-- it was fast and furious.
Reading cue cards is a learned skill.
- Oh, yeah, that was-- - It is a learned skill.
Yeah, 'cause I had a moment, I was like, "Oh.
" You guys did a great job.
It's not gonna be Shakespeare out there.
We all had hiccups.
You know, we all had little burps, and I guess we win and lose as a team, you know? For a bunch of stand-ups that had, you know, two hours, that ain't bad.
JB's about to announce the winner.
We're really nervous, but I saw the good chemistry that everyone had, which is the most important part.
So I kinda felt like we're gonna do pretty good.
_ - Let's do it.
- It's decision time.
- Yes.
- Oh, shucks.
Oh! We just watched two hilarious performances by The Business and Sketchy Snakes.
Cheryl, overall, what did you think about the performances tonight? You guys all took notes very well.
And your characters were great.
But overall, you know, I was telling everybody, you have to really listen to what other characters are saying and let that really be a part of what you're doing onstage.
And I felt like there was one team that did it better.
Ooh.
All right! The winning team, safe from elimination this week, is [Suspenseful music.]
The Sketchy Snakes! [Cheers and applause.]
I cannot believe I have immunity! Ha ha! I don't know what else to tell you.
I'm just glad I won't be going home.
Get over here, burn victim.
We were the best team ever and we won.
Team The Business, you guys gave it your best, but you fell short.
Unfortunately, that means you guys will face elimination in tomorrow's head-to-head vote.
I think we would have won if we would have exercised the number one rule of acting, which is listening.
I think that Jimmy probably had the hardest time doing that.
I could be voted for.
I could be going to the head-to-head.
But I thought there was a weak link.
We'll see what happens, see how it plays out.
Game on.
People are going home.
Coming up, the comics vote to decide whose head will be on the chopping block.
I know I am funnier than We're back at the Last Coming Standing work space where the comics are about to vote for their first head-to-head elimination.
This week and this week only, three comics will take the stage and face a double elimination.
- Hello, guys.
- Hey.
Hope everybody got a good rest last night, right? - Yeah.
- Yes.
It's time for the elimination vote.
So far you guys have been judged by our judges and our mentors.
Now you're gonna judge each other.
The voting process, man, that's something else.
One at a time, you gotta go into a booth and stare into a camera and say, "I know I am funnier than dot, dot, dot.
" And then you'll name the comic you think should face elimination.
The person with the most votes will have to perform tonight and will select two opponents.
But they can only select from among those that voted against them.
So let's get the voting started with Jimmy Shubert.
The Snakes won that challenge.
That team had immunity.
There was five people you couldn't vote for.
It's just based on what happened yesterday.
That is how I'm voting.
I don't wanna do this.
[Breathing heavily.]
I'm outta breath, 'cause those are a lot of steps.
I know I'm funnier than Jimmy Shubert.
I honestly didn't want to vote against anyone.
But I knew that Jimmy was coming for me.
I know I'm funnier than Aida Rodriguez.
Okay.
I mean, you make a relationship with people, so you don't wanna see nobody dream get crushed at this portion of the game, but, you know, somebody got to go.
You all have voted.
Now it's time to reveal the results.
And guess what, we're going to watch them all together.
Whoo, yeah! I thought no one was gonna know who we voted for.
JB said we're gonna watch the votes in front of everyone.
I didn't know they were gonna do that.
I know I'm funnier than Aida Rodriguez.
That's one vote for Aida.
I know I'm funnier than, uh, Aida.
That's two votes for Aida.
I knew that I was gonna be the one that they came for, 'cause I've been doing stand-up the least.
I think I'm funnier than Aida.
Mutiny.
We gotta vote against each other.
That's a weird thing.
I'm funnier than Rocky Laporte.
You're like, I thought we were buddies.
Like, what happened here, you know? I wouldn't really say I'm funnier than anybody.
But I know they can handle themselves.
I'll say DC Benny.
Aida's leading the pack right now with three votes.
I know I am funnier than the guy at Subway, Attila The Hun [Chuckling.]
Hall but not Oates.
Mm-hmm.
Oates was funny.
[Laughter.]
And Rod Man.
I see him now.
We're not eating breakfast together no more.
That's three votes for aida.
One vote for Rocky.
One vote for Rod Man.
And one vote for DC Benny.
Whoo, I'm gonna have to pull out my calculator in a minute.
I know I'm funnier than Jimmy Shubert.
That's right! I said it! I'm a woman.
I said it.
Let's see what's going on next.
Hey, this is Karlous Miller.
I think-- I know I'm funnier than Jimmy Shubert.
Oh, it's getting good now.
It's not that I don't love you, 'cause I do.
I think I'm funnier than Jimmy.
You know, I've been doing this for 25 years.
I'm a great comic.
You know, if there was an opportunity to get me out of the competition, I mean, that's somebody you don't have to go up against later.
You're neck and neck now.
Three for Aida, three for Jimmy.
Now this is the last vote.
See what happens.
[Suspenseful music.]
Judging by yesterday's performances I think I'm funnier than Uh-oh.
You're neck and neck now.
Three for Aida.
Three for Jimmy.
Now this is the last vote.
Let's see what happens.
[Suspenseful music.]
Judging by yesterday's performances I think I'm funnier than Jimmy Shubert.
I voted for Jimmy because, as the team leader, if the team fails, uh, we got to look at you, Jimmy.
And that's what we did.
I took the lead on the sketch show.
You know, I have to take full responsibility for that.
Jimmy Shubert, you will have to perform tonight.
Four comics voted for Jimmy, but two of them had immunity.
Therefore, the other two, Aida and Rod Man, are forced into the triple-header.
Jimmy, they will be your challengers tonight.
[Sighs.]
I got sucked in by technicalities.
So we grab the microphone and we go to work this evening.
So there you have it, Rod Man, Aida, and Jimmy.
Your fate will be decided by the judges.
I'll see you at the improv.
Good luck, guys.
I'm well aware that I'm going up against probably the two funniest guys in the competition.
I'm just gonna do what I do, and if I go home, I go home, but I'm not going out without a fight.
The comics have already competed on the big stage.
Now they'll return to their roots and duke it out in a comedy club, where they'll have to impress the judges to stay in the competition.
I'm too tired to be nervous.
Pfft.
That whole day was exhausting.
Aida, Rod Man, and myself are backstage at improv getting ready for their first head-to-head.
And hopefully everybody does well, you make it as tough as possible for the judges.
Well, hello, guys.
Hey, Russell.
I'm just here to give you, you know, a little pep talk.
I mean, obviously two of you are gonna go home tonight.
We're down to ten comics.
They've had their first challenge.
And I think the only obstacle these guys have to overcome is nerves tonight, because it's a mental game you're playing.
So is anybody gonna crack under the pressure? Are they all gonna come correct? Who knows? Focus on making that audience in front of you laugh, and connect and do that thing that you do that brought you to where you are right now.
I really want all three of you to kill.
And I want it to be the hardest decision of our lives to have to choose who's gonna go home.
On the stage, that's where I'm comfortable.
You know, and you get to save yourself with stand-up.
Gloves are off tonight.
Let's do this.
- See you, guys.
- Bye, Russell.
[Cheers and applause.]
Tonight we are here for a throwdown.
[Cheers and applause.]
The first of our head-to-head elimination shows.
Three comics will come out here and perform.
At the end of the show, the judges will name one of them the winner.
Give it up for Keenen Ivory Wayans over there.
[Cheers and applause.]
How 'bout Russell Peters, y'all? RP! [Cheers and applause.]
I call her "Queen Roseanne.
" Roseanne in the building, y'all! [Cheers and applause.]
Okay, are you ready to laugh? [Cheers and applause.]
Coming to the stage, my man, Jimmy Shubert.
[Cheers and applause.]
Oh, thank you, thank you.
It's good to be here.
I got dumped via text message.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking.
Jimmy, how could that happen? You're such a peach.
Yeah, when you care enough to send the very least.
Thank you for honoring our time together with 30 seconds of tapping and a frowny face.
I mean, I'll never forget the day it happened.
I woke up.
It was a beautiful day.
Oh, what's this? Somebody texted me during the night.
This is what I got.
"I can't give you what you emotionally need.
You seem like a nice guy.
You deserve the truth.
It's not you.
It's me.
" Really? You thumb-dumping me? I felt bad, then I realized, you know, that's happened all throughout history as technologies have emerged.
People have always used 'em for a wrong reason.
I guarantee you, you go back, you can find some story of a dude getting dumped via morse code.
You know that happened.
Dot-dash, dash-dash-dot, dot-dash, dash-dot.
Oh, we're getting news from afar.
It must be important.
What's it say? "I can't give you what you emotionally need, stop.
You seem like a nice guy, stop.
Seriously, stop calling, stop.
Just stop.
" Back when America was getting settled, there was a very famous Native American woman named Pocahontas, who was dating one of the early white settlers, John Smith.
They had a falling out.
And some of the tribe elders said, "No longer date the white man.
" She said, "All right, get that fire going and get me a blanket.
This is gonna hurt him.
I can't give you what you emotionally need.
" Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
Jimmy Shubert! [Cheers and applause.]
Roseanne, let's hear what you thought about Jimmy Shubert.
Great writing, great performance, great energy.
You know, we know that you know what you're doing.
And I loved it.
Thank you.
[Cheers and applause.]
In my current act I have a bit about breaking up with a girl via text.
But watching you do it makes me go, "Man, there's a lot of holes in what I'm writing.
" [Laughter.]
Um, I liked the fact that you went back in time.
You went the other way with it, and I didn't see it coming.
You impressed the hell outta me, but I don't know if the audience connected with you the way we wanted them to.
But maybe it's not you, it's them, you know? - So - [Laughter.]
[Applause.]
I like the way you did it.
You know, we first saw you sort of in the bigger room, and now in the smaller room what I liked was that you continue with the confidence knowing that you were gonna lure them in, and by the end of the act when you were doing the thing with the Pocahontas, you had the audience applauding.
And I really liked the way you just held to your material and followed through.
And I thought you did a really good job.
Thank you, Keenen.
Thank you.
Make him feel good, y'all.
This is Jimmy Shubert right here! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
[Exhales.]
- Okay.
- [Laughs.]
- Ooh.
- Hey, hey, relief? - Oh, relief.
- How'd it go? It went good, real good.
My head is out of the game a little bit, but my heart is in it.
And so I wanna take them out, and I wanna stay in the competition.
- Have fun.
- Thank you.
Let's have a big hand for Aida Rodriguez! [Cheers and applause.]
Good evening.
I'll Google myself all the time.
Does anybody else do that? I do, I Google myself to see what's going on.
But my name is Aida Rodriguez, a very common name in Latin America.
Both of my grandmothers' names are Aida Rodriguez, and they come from two different countries.
Right? Let me tell you something.
I found out that I'm wanted for welfare fraud in New York, a home invasion in Tampa, Florida, giving people herpes in Arizona.
Now I know why men don't call me back, 'cause they Google me.
[Laughter.]
It's probably for the best, 'cause I don't do well with men.
I was dating a preacher's kid.
They will mess up your life in the name of Jesus, you know? He used to-- Everything he did he tried to justify with the Bible.
You know what I mean? I was like, hey, you can't go around sleeping with everybody.
He said, "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.
" You're not afraid of diseases? "Though I walk through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil.
" No condom? "No weapon formed against me shall prosper.
" But nobody has ever made me feel like I don't know how to pick a man more than the Child Support System.
In the last 12 years, I have gotten $8,900 in Child Support.
That's, like, $2.
20 a day.
But you know what that means? That for what it costs to buy a cup of coffee in America, you can have a kid from Aida Rodriguez.
Thank you.
[Cheers and applause.]
Aida Rodriguez, everybody! [Cheers and applause.]
I think the energy in the room is a little low.
And, uh, it felt to me like you let that energy affect your energy.
I saw you going for it, but then there was times where you pulled back.
And I just felt like that might have-- I was, like, you know, I'm rooting for you.
So I'm like, "Come on, Aida, just kick 'em in the nuts.
" [Laughter.]
I think you let this audience throw you, and I was not happy to see that, 'cause I wanted to see you come in here and-- Oh, my beat-down started earlier today.
It didn't start in the room.
But you know what, that's part of comedy is, like, all of us have had really bad disappointments.
Absolutely.
Me having a honeymoon with Tom Arnold and everything.
But, um [Laughter and applause.]
You know, but I think you're a great comic.
And, uh, I think you're real funny.
Thank you so much.
That means a lot to me coming from you.
I think you have just a real different voice, and I think you did a great job.
Thank you.
Thank you.
One more time for Aida Rodriguez, everybody! [Cheers and applause.]
The judges were honest.
They could feel my nervousness.
But they still said things to me that made me, uh, inspired, and I appreciate that.
How you feel? How you feel? Mm, wasn't my best set.
Okay.
It's my turn to compete in the head to head, and two people are going home tonight.
I mean, you don't want nobody to go home.
But if I'm in the boat and we all drowning, uh, I'm gonna try to swim back to shore.
So I'm swimming.
Are you ready to laugh? Come on! [Cheers and applause.]
_ All right, baby, go down.
Yeah, man.
Coming up, Rod Man takes the stage with an eye on the prize.
I don't know if you ever seen nobody with a glass eye, but it didn't do stuff like eyes do.
And then the judges announce who stays in the competition and who goes home.
- Are you ready to laugh? - [Cheers and applause.]
I said, are you ready to laugh? _ All right, baby, go down.
Yeah, man.
Please put your hands together for Rod Man! [Cheers and applause.]
All right.
Thank you very much.
- I appreciate your love.
- Yeah, man.
I never knew my father.
I never knew my father.
I was raised by a single mama.
Strong black woman, you know? I had-- I did have little stepdaddies.
I had a cool little stepdaddy named Frank.
But he was an angry little dude, you know? Yeah, you ever see a grown man that don't grow like grown people grow? And, yeah, and that used to bother him.
You know, we didn't know that Frank was angry about his height.
But, uh, you know, he used to try to tell us to do stuff, and we'd be like, "Get on, Little Frank.
" You know, we're not scared of you, 'cause, you know, we felt like we could whoop Frank ass really.
We really felt that we could whoop Frank's ass.
But, you know, we tried to mind him.
But he had a glass eye.
I don't know if you ever seen nobody with a glass eye, but it didn't do stuff like eyes do.
It just used to look at you all the time.
And we was little kids, and we like, "Mama, Frank keep looking at us.
" And she like, "That man is asleep.
He asleep.
" And, uh, we were like, "Well, somebody need to go shut that eye then," 'cause evidently, uh, it was like the eye was on NoDoz or something.
Just woke all the time.
We learned to appreciate the eye.
At least he had an eye, but he was an angry little man.
So one day he got to arguing with the man next door.
And the man told Frank, he be like, "Frank, keep on, I'm gonna knock your damn eye out.
" And you done heard people say that, but you don't really think that can happen in real life.
You like, you can't knock a whole eye out.
That don't happen.
But Frank went out there, and he led with the wrong eye.
He led-- Yeah, 'cause the eye was woke.
It was woke, but it wasn't alert at all.
It was just woke.
And the dude start hitting Frank in the eye.
And we was like, "Whoa, Frank, duck.
Duck, Frank.
" You know? And Frank was like, "I got him, I got him.
" And we's like-- we were like, "We can't tell, we can't tell, 'cause that is not how you have nobody.
" But, uh, I gotta give the eye credit.
It was a tough-ass eye.
I don't know where he got it from, but we were like, "That's a tough-ass eye, Frank.
" You know, but the little eye got tired, and it actually fell out.
And we were like, "Whoa, he has knocked Frank's eye out.
" And, uh, Frank was like, "Y'all, help me find my eye, help me find my eye.
" But we was little kids, we were like, "Frank, we don't know what an eye look like outside the eye.
" You know, you ain't never just been outside playing, be like, "Man, somebody dropped their eye outside.
" And you go in the house and be like, "Mama, I found an eye outside.
" And she be like, "Throw that damn eye back outside.
Don't bring that--" You know, I been Rod Man, man.
I appreciate y'all, man.
Much love.
Thank you very much.
Appreciate it.
Put your hands together for Rod Man! [Cheers and applause.]
The Rod Man never disappoints.
The eye story is one of-- [Laughter.]
Yeah.
That's one of the funniest stories I've ever heard.
I mean, I think you did a great job.
Thank you, Mr.
Wayans.
Thank you, Mr.
Wayans.
Appreciate it.
Your style is your style.
- Thank you, Russell.
- You know what I mean? And nobody can ever steal your material.
That's what makes you Rod Man.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it, yes.
I've never seen anything like you and what you could do.
And I swear, I think you could just keep on going.
You know, and get a laugh, like, off the top of your head for two, three hours.
I'd be laughing.
You would listen that long? You would listen that long? I would.
I have great respect for your artistry, and I think you did great.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
Thank you, thank you.
Appreciate it, appreciate it.
Give it up one more time for Rod Man, everybody! It's Rod Man! [Cheers and applause.]
You just saw three strong performances.
Judges, now it's up to you.
Please take a moment to deliberate.
Hey, guys, either way, anything it goes, it was great hanging with you cats, great getting to know you guys, really.
Absolutely.
To win tonight would be great because you've survived a double elimination, and now you're in the top eight.
And an opportunity like this, it just takes you to the next level.
For me it's always been greater than just winning a competition, but making a statement for mothers and women and people of color.
- Follow you? - Yep.
I think I did well, but it's up to the judges.
Good luck.
May the best man or woman win.
[Applause.]
The judges have made their decision.
One of these comics will be safe and will remain in the running for $250,000, an NBC development deal for your own show, and the title of Last Comic Standing, baby! [Cheers and applause.]
However, the others will be eliminated from the competition.
Judges, any final thoughts? It gets harder and harder for us to make these kinda choices because we know that each of these guys individually are stars.
Be proud of what you've done and celebrate tonight and the entire competition that you've been a part of.
You knew you were gonna go from playing clubs to selling out clubs now.
And it has to do with you and what you did on the show.
So you didn't lose tonight.
You just moved on to a different phase of your career.
For the two people who aren't gonna go on tonight, internalize it and get pissed off, and, next time, use it, machine gun through it, and, you know, turn it on them.
And that's all you gotta do.
[Applause.]
The judges have decided that the winner of tonight's head-to-head performance is [Suspenseful music.]
Rod Man! [Cheers and applause.]
JB called my name, I felt relieved and excited and, uh, you know, happy.
[Cheers and applause.]
I'm sad to see Jimmy and Aida leave the competition, but somebody must go.
And I'm happy it's not me tonight.
We're gonna have to say good-bye to you guys.
So sorry, but you need to go.
[Cheers and applause.]
All I had control over was my set, and I thought that went very well.
And it's all you can do.
I was happy to have all these experiences.
I don't have one regret, not one.
Yeah.
It's interesting that the person who's been doing stand-up the least and the one that's been doing it the most are both going home on the same night.
So what that says to me is that this competition is fair.
Give me a hug, come on.
It was fun.
The audience at the improv voted for Jimmy Shubert to go on to the online comic comeback competition, where he'll be facing last week's favorite eliminated comic, Alingon Mitra.
Go to nbc.
com to vote.
Next week the challenge round continues in a big way.
Who's ready for the big time? Who feels they're ready for the big time? When the comics make a special trip to The Ellen DeGeneres Show The Ellen? Can you imagine that? For an unforgettable challenge.
- Let's get this thing started.
- Let's do it.
Celebrity mentor Wanda Sykes will prepare the comics to be interviewed by legendary comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres.
Line up and bend over.
[Laughter.]
And Ellen's audience will pick the winner.
And the winner is Then two comics will face off in a no-holds-barred stand-up showdown.
Two comics will enter the comedy dome, but only one will survive.
Tune in for one of the biggest Are you ready for the big time? baddest I would love to be on there dancing with Ellen.
That's history.
and funniest nights of comedy.
It's not Soul Train.
It's Last Comic Standing.
as we move another step closer to finding out who will be the Last Comic Standing.