According To Jim s08e07 Episode Script

1 Hello.
Hello.
Welcome to the smoke 'n' slab.
How may I help you? Oh, uh, a table for two, please.
Uh, actually, a table for three.
Oh, great.
Let me just clear a table.
Excuse me.
A table for three? What, are we, uh, expecting somebody? Oh, well, no, but, you know, it's a new restaurant, new crowd.
A table for two sounds a little romantic.
If you're really worried about that, Andy, why do you always sit next to me instead of across from me? Well, that's just cozy.
Okay, romantic's not good, but cozy's okay? Men can be cozy, Jim, like we're in a sleeping bag.
A sleeping bag? No, no, no, you know what? When the girl comes back, let's just tell her that my girlfriend's coming.
She's just running a little late.
How come you get the girlfriend? Because you're married.
Fine.
Here.
You be married, and I'll take the pretend girl.
Oh, great, Jim.
Now everyone just saw you give me a ring.
Okay, I'm not marrying him, okay? My girlfriend's just running late.
Oh, my god.
Jim, is that you? Yes.
Victoria! Oh, Andy, Andy, this is Victoria.
We dated like, what, 25 years ago? Uh, 23, remember? It was 1985.
The bears just won the super bowl.
When you broke up with me, you said, "world champions can't be tied down.
" Yeah, that sounds like me.
You--you look great.
Thank you.
So do you.
Oh.
Agreed.
About you, not him.
Damn it! So what are you doing here? You work here? Actually, I own the place.
This way.
Oh.
You own this place? Mm-hmm.
Oh, Victoria, that is great.
Oh, uh, this is Andy, my partner.
Business partner.
Yeah, uh, uh, we're cozy, not married.
You know what? I'm just gonna wait outside for my girl, all right? And--and her limo, yeah, where we make out.
You know what? When I married his sister, he was part of the deal.
Oh.
Sit down.
God.
Tell me what's up.
Well, I spent a little time in Memphis.
Uh-huh.
I got married.
He cheated.
So I dumped him and stole his barbecue recipe.
Gee, I don't know if I should feel sad about your divorce or happy that you got the recipe.
Well It's a really good recipe.
And the marriage was never gonna work.
Uh-huh.
He was never as good as you.
Uh I'm just kidding around.
Oh, oh, oh! Kind of.
Mom, I'm missing a big party this weekend.
Oh, honey, there'll be more.
Why do we have to go to California to see aunt Dana? Because she wants to see everybody.
Then how come dad's not going? Well, honey, she doesn't want to see everybody.
Now run to the car with Gracie and the babies.
Go on.
Hello.
Hey.
How was the barbecue place? Here it comes-- the third degree.
What are you talking about? Okay, it turns out one of my old girlfriends owns the place, all right? Oh.
I said it.
I admitted it.
Now can we please just move on? Okay.
What'd you get? I got nothing! I didn't even touch her.
Oh, Jim.
Okay, okay, I got a good-bye hug.
What am I, a monk? I meant what did you get to eat? Well-- why are you getting so defensive? I don't care that you ran into an old friend.
Okay.
All right.
But just so we get this out in the open, Victoria was extremely flirtatious.
And she looked fantastic.
She didn't get fat like your friend Herbert.
Fine, Jim.
My seventh grade boyfriend got fat.
You win.
Thank you.
Anyway, I'm sure you enjoyed having her flirt with you.
No.
Are you kidding me? Come on.
It was torture.
I can't even stand it when women look at me.
Would you stop it? Seriously.
That's why I got rid of those spandex bike shorts.
And you know how much I loved those, Cheryl.
Jim, I got rid of those shorts, and only because the judge made me.
Well, I'd like to see Herbert squeeze into those shorts.
All I'm saying is, it's fine with me that you got a little ego boost from Victoria.
You're kidding, right? No.
An attractive woman flirting with me-- you're fine with that? Honey, we all need a little ego validation every now and then.
I know I do.
Hold the phone.
You? I'm the only one that should be paying attention to you.
Are you going somewhere? California.
What are you going to California for? To visit Dana.
Oh.
Go.
Bye.
Take care.
Be sure to tell her I didn't say hi.
Okay.
I like it when Cheryl goes out of town.
Yeah, it has its advantages.
So you told Cheryl all about Victoria? Oh, she didn't even care.
Hmm? I wonder if Victoria somehow knew Cheryl was going out of town.
You didn't even know Cheryl was going out of town.
That's my point.
Victoria is an evil genius.
Hold on.
Hello? It's Victoria.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god, it's a Booty call! Hang up, hang up! Whew! That was close.
My serve.
Hold on.
Hello? It's her again! She's not gonna take no for an answer.
Just sleep with her and get it over with.
- Are you crazy? - Hello? Uh, dinner tonight? Say no, say no! Your treat? Say yes, say yes! Okay, we'll see you at 7:00.
Okay, all right.
Let's not panic.
Let's not panic, Jim.
Uh, it's gonna be okay.
Hey, hey, hey, I'll go with you.
I'll be your chaperone.
Oh, thank you, Andy.
You're a good friend.
Why did I have to be born so damn sexy? I ask myself that same question every day.
About me, not you.
Damn! So I'm sitting in the bleachers at wrigley field.
I got a beer in my right hand and a baby in my left.
Soriano hits the ball out of the park.
It's coming right at me.
I give the guy to my right the beer.
I give the guy to my left the baby.
I catch the ball, stand up, take a bow, grab the beer on the right of me.
What happened to the baby? I asked the same question Four innings later.
Oh, my god.
But I got the ball! Jim, I really like this shirt on you.
Here we go.
Well, my wife got it for me, and I'm not taking it off no matter what you say.
I used to love to shop for you.
Remember those bike shorts I got you? I, uh, i-i-i don't remember those.
Sure you do, Jim.
You know, the ones the judge said-- I don't remember.
Listen, our old stories are probably just boring the hell out of my wife's brother here.
I mean, he's known my wife for years and years.
Uh, yeah, it's true.
Cheryl's my big sister, but we weren't introduced till I was 4.
Apparently my parents weren't sure if they were gonna keep me.
What a big mistake I think they made, right? You guys are both so funny.
I think you've earned some cheesecake.
Mmm! Oh, if there's one piece bigger than the other, I think I've been a little funnier.
Oh, come on.
My god, how blatant is that woman? I know.
She is all over me.
What?! Oh, yeah, I'm getting a heck of a vibe from her.
Come on! If I give you the high sign, take the hint and skedaddle.
Andy, please.
What? She is way out of your league.
What are you talking about? She dated you.
Yeah, the major league.
Oh.
Come on.
I married Cheryl.
I dated Victoria.
You know, the prettiest date you've had for lunch in weeks is me.
Here you go, guys.
Ooh, that looks good.
Thank you.
Victoria.
Hmm? You and me, dinner tomorrow night-- what do you say? Um, I'm sorry.
My brother-in-law seems to think-- I'd love to! Oh! Oh! I was hoping you'd ask me out.
You were? It sounds like a blast.
We'll have dinner here.
Oh, yeah, but unlike my egotistical friend here, I'll actually pay.
Let me go get us some clean forks.
Hey, Jim, eyes, nose, mouth and me dating Victoria.
What's that? Things that are in yo' face! I'm gonna put this in your face right now.
Hello, James.
Hello, Andrew.
In case you're wondering why I came over, it's for the purposes of gloating.
Well, gloat away, my friend.
Oh.
Victoria asked me to pick her up at her place, and you know what that means.
She gave you the address of the public library? You wish.
I've already driven by her house four times.
And if she's wearing that dress that's lying on her bed, tonight's gon' be hot! Well, Andy, you have a great time tonight.
Tell me how it goes.
Wait, wait.
No, wait.
Ah, why aren't you yelling at me and smacking me on the forehead? Because I think I'm gonna let life do that for me.
See, I've been thinking about it.
I figured out there's only one reason Victoria is dating you.
Hmm? To get to me.
You are unbelievable, man! You're just upset 'cause I stole your ego boost.
Hey, no, no, no, no.
We went head to head, my friend, and I won.
Please, please, Andy.
If I open a door even a crack for Victoria, she will jump me right there in front of the takeout counter.
Have you been drinking? A little.
Yeah, but I figured this out way before that.
All I need to say to Victoria is four little words-- hmm? "Cheryl doesn't understand me.
" You were right.
This is cozy.
Oh, see? It's like we're about to order dessert in a sleeping bag.
I wasn't gonna order dessert.
Well, then, we're just in a sleeping bag.
Andy, you are such a great guy.
Oh.
How is it possible you're still not married? Well-- hey, guys.
I hope I didn't interrupt anything.
It's a little late for that.
What the hell are you doing here? Oh, I just came by for some takeout.
You know, with the wife gone Again.
Jim! Hmm? We were just not talking about you.
Oh, I'm sure you have more important things to talk about.
All right, I'll just go over to the takeout counter here, get my dinner For one.
Oh, gosh, I I forgot my wallet.
Shocker.
Don't worry.
It's on the house.
Oh, how sweet of you.
That's really nice.
You know, Cheryl always gets upset at me when I lose my wallet.
Actually, she's been getting upset with me a lot lately.
I don't know.
I try to make her happy, and I just can't.
Oh, my gosh.
Is that true? Of course it's not true! Andy, please, you do not know what's going on behind closed doors.
I mean, I've tried everything, but Cheryl doesn't understand me.
That's terrible.
Mm-hmm.
So See you later.
Fine.
See you later.
Okay, good game.
So where were we? Oh, I believe we were halfway through the perfect first date.
Oh.
So the pressure's on.
Don't worry.
I close strong.
I forgot how much I love when you play your harmonica.
Gosh I forgot, too.
Um, excuse me.
I'm just gonna go see if I can get him to play a little louder.
Um What the hell you think you're doing? I'm in yo' face! Oh, are ya? Yeah.
Yeah, okay, I see.
You wanna play, old man? Yeah! I wanna play! Yeah? Okay.
Well, then play this.
Andy! Andy, that is my c-harp.
That cost me $19.
95 plus shipping and delivery! Jim, why don't you take that c-harp and blow? All right, Andy.
I will.
Jim! What? Knock it off.
What are you doing? Why are you ruining my date with Andy and tainting my coleslaw bar? Didn't you hear me before? Cheryl doesn't understand me.
Who can blame her? You're a nutcase.
It's okay.
He's with her now, but he'll come back to you eventually.
Hello! We're ho-- what the hell? Is there a homeless man on our table? Um, honey, why don't you go help your brother and sister get the babies out of the car? Thank you, sweetie.
Cheryl.
You're home already? Yeah.
I guess you forgot we were coming home today.
Yeah.
Wow.
Where were you? Jim Did you go on a bender? Yeah, I mean Not really You know, a bender bender.
I mean I-I ran out of beer yesterday and liquor the day before.
So i-i tried to make some vodka out of the potato chips, and then I tried to make, um, sake out of the instant rice.
And, uh, it didn't seem to work so good.
Okay, I got two questions.
Um, number one--why are you drinking so much? And number two--why didn't you just go to the liquor store? You know, my uncle Lou had a miracle cure for hangovers, and the first ingredient wasn't your annoying questions.
Okay.
Let me see if I can piece together what happened while I was gone.
I wish you would, because there's long stretches missing.
Okay, we got a lot of beer bottles Uh-huh.
Pizza A photo album with pictures of you and Victoria.
And a picture of Andy that you drew on and wrote the word "derk"? Well, it's supposed to be "jerk," but I tried to sober up a little and I got the shakes.
Okay.
So You ran into Victoria and got a kick out of her boosting your ego, which was great, until she fell for Andy.
And that made you crazy, so you gave her your "a" game, maybe even broke out the harmonica, and she shot you down.
I was this close, Cheryl.
I was this close! Oh, honey.
Well, better luck next time.
Cheryl, wh-where is this attitude from? You approved this.
You said, "enjoy your ego boost.
" If an ego boost should present itself to you, then yes, it's okay to enjoy it.
So thanks.
So what's the problem? But if you go in search of an ego boost, then try to steal your best friend's date when your wife is out of town, that could be construed as inappropriate.
Oh.
Yeah.
I get it.
Good.
I do get it.
I'm glad.
I get how you caused the problem.
What? You can't leave me alone.
You're always out with your mother or going to see Dana in California or taking the babies to the park.
You know I need more attention! Okay.
Let me get this straight.
I just spent four hours on a plane with five children.
I begged you to come.
You wouldn't.
You hit on an ex-girlfriend and tried to drink homemade sake, and yet this is my fault? Oh, Cheryl, you do understand me.
All right, Andy, you know I'm not one to apologize.
Yes.
Here.
Thank you.
But I need to say this.
I may have crossed the line between you and Victoria.
Oh, thanks, but you don't need to apologize.
She dump you? I dumped her.
Why? Well, last night we were Making scissors, and, uh Ah, something happened.
She called out my name? Repeatedly.
Yes! Over and over.
Yes! Well after we had stopped.
I was sitting right in front of her.
There's no way she could've missed me.
Yes, yes, yes! I knew it! I knew it! Whiskers, nose hairs, teeth and my undeniable sexiness.
Oh, don't be a derk.
Things in yo' face! Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Kiss it, brother! Hello.
Hello.
Welcome to the smoke 'n' slab.
How may I help you? Oh, uh, a table for two, please.
Uh, actually, a table for three.
Oh, great.
Let me just clear a table.
Excuse me.
A table for three? What, are we, uh, expecting somebody? Oh, well, no, but, you know, it's a new restaurant, new crowd.
A table for two sounds a little romantic.
If you're really worried about that, Andy, why do you always sit next to me instead of across from me? Well, that's just cozy.
Okay, romantic's not good, but cozy's okay? Men can be cozy, Jim, like we're in a sleeping bag.
A sleeping bag? No, no, no, you know what? When the girl comes back, let's just tell her that my girlfriend's coming.
She's just running a little late.
How come you get the girlfriend? Because you're married.
Fine.
Here.
You be married, and I'll take the pretend girl.
Oh, great, Jim.
Now everyone just saw you give me a ring.
Okay, I'm not marrying him, okay? My girlfriend's just running late.
Oh, my god.
Jim, is that you? Yes.
Victoria! Oh, Andy, Andy, this is Victoria.
We dated like, what, 25 years ago? Uh, 23, remember? It was 1985.
The bears just won the super bowl.
When you broke up with me, you said, "world champions can't be tied down.
" Yeah, that sounds like me.
You--you look great.
Thank you.
So do you.
Oh.
Agreed.
About you, not him.
Damn it! So what are you doing here? You work here? Actually, I own the place.
This way.
Oh.
You own this place? Mm-hmm.
Oh, Victoria, that is great.
Oh, uh, this is Andy, my partner.
Business partner.
Yeah, uh, uh, we're cozy, not married.
You know what? I'm just gonna wait outside for my girl, all right? And--and her limo, yeah, where we make out.
You know what? When I married his sister, he was part of the deal.
Oh.
Sit down.
God.
Tell me what's up.
Well, I spent a little time in Memphis.
Uh-huh.
I got married.
He cheated.
So I dumped him and stole his barbecue recipe.
Gee, I don't know if I should feel sad about your divorce or happy that you got the recipe.
Well It's a really good recipe.
And the marriage was never gonna work.
Uh-huh.
He was never as good as you.
Uh I'm just kidding around.
Oh, oh, oh! Kind of.
Mom, I'm missing a big party this weekend.
Oh, honey, there'll be more.
Why do we have to go to California to see aunt Dana? Because she wants to see everybody.
Then how come dad's not going? Well, honey, she doesn't want to see everybody.
Now run to the car with Gracie and the babies.
Go on.
Hello.
Hey.
How was the barbecue place? Here it comes-- the third degree.
What are you talking about? Okay, it turns out one of my old girlfriends owns the place, all right? Oh.
I said it.
I admitted it.
Now can we please just move on? Okay.
What'd you get? I got nothing! I didn't even touch her.
Oh, Jim.
Okay, okay, I got a good-bye hug.
What am I, a monk? I meant what did you get to eat? Well-- why are you getting so defensive? I don't care that you ran into an old friend.
Okay.
All right.
But just so we get this out in the open, Victoria was extremely flirtatious.
And she looked fantastic.
She didn't get fat like your friend Herbert.
Fine, Jim.
My seventh grade boyfriend got fat.
You win.
Thank you.
Anyway, I'm sure you enjoyed having her flirt with you.
No.
Are you kidding me? Come on.
It was torture.
I can't even stand it when women look at me.
Would you stop it? Seriously.
That's why I got rid of those spandex bike shorts.
And you know how much I loved those, Cheryl.
Jim, I got rid of those shorts, and only because the judge made me.
Well, I'd like to see Herbert squeeze into those shorts.
All I'm saying is, it's fine with me that you got a little ego boost from Victoria.
You're kidding, right? No.
An attractive woman flirting with me-- you're fine with that? Honey, we all need a little ego validation every now and then.
I know I do.
Hold the phone.
You? I'm the only one that should be paying attention to you.
Are you going somewhere? California.
What are you going to California for? To visit Dana.
Oh.
Go.
Bye.
Take care.
Be sure to tell her I didn't say hi.
Okay.
I like it when Cheryl goes out of town.
Yeah, it has its advantages.
So you told Cheryl all about Victoria? Oh, she didn't even care.
Hmm? I wonder if Victoria somehow knew Cheryl was going out of town.
You didn't even know Cheryl was going out of town.
That's my point.
Victoria is an evil genius.
Hold on.
Hello? It's Victoria.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god, it's a Booty call! Hang up, hang up! Whew! That was close.
My serve.
Hold on.
Hello? It's her again! She's not gonna take no for an answer.
Just sleep with her and get it over with.
- Are you crazy? - Hello? Uh, dinner tonight? Say no, say no! Your treat? Say yes, say yes! Okay, we'll see you at 7:00.
Okay, all right.
Let's not panic.
Let's not panic, Jim.
Uh, it's gonna be okay.
Hey, hey, hey, I'll go with you.
I'll be your chaperone.
Oh, thank you, Andy.
You're a good friend.
Why did I have to be born so damn sexy? I ask myself that same question every day.
About me, not you.
Damn! So I'm sitting in the bleachers at wrigley field.
I got a beer in my right hand and a baby in my left.
Soriano hits the ball out of the park.
It's coming right at me.
I give the guy to my right the beer.
I give the guy to my left the baby.
I catch the ball, stand up, take a bow, grab the beer on the right of me.
What happened to the baby? I asked the same question Four innings later.
Oh, my god.
But I got the ball! Jim, I really like this shirt on you.
Here we go.
Well, my wife got it for me, and I'm not taking it off no matter what you say.
I used to love to shop for you.
Remember those bike shorts I got you? I, uh, i-i-i don't remember those.
Sure you do, Jim.
You know, the ones the judge said-- I don't remember.
Listen, our old stories are probably just boring the hell out of my wife's brother here.
I mean, he's known my wife for years and years.
Uh, yeah, it's true.
Cheryl's my big sister, but we weren't introduced till I was 4.
Apparently my parents weren't sure if they were gonna keep me.
What a big mistake I think they made, right? You guys are both so funny.
I think you've earned some cheesecake.
Mmm! Oh, if there's one piece bigger than the other, I think I've been a little funnier.
Oh, come on.
My god, how blatant is that woman? I know.
She is all over me.
What?! Oh, yeah, I'm getting a heck of a vibe from her.
Come on! If I give you the high sign, take the hint and skedaddle.
Andy, please.
What? She is way out of your league.
What are you talking about? She dated you.
Yeah, the major league.
Oh.
Come on.
I married Cheryl.
I dated Victoria.
You know, the prettiest date you've had for lunch in weeks is me.
Here you go, guys.
Ooh, that looks good.
Thank you.
Victoria.
Hmm? You and me, dinner tomorrow night-- what do you say? Um, I'm sorry.
My brother-in-law seems to think-- I'd love to! Oh! Oh! I was hoping you'd ask me out.
You were? It sounds like a blast.
We'll have dinner here.
Oh, yeah, but unlike my egotistical friend here, I'll actually pay.
Let me go get us some clean forks.
Hey, Jim, eyes, nose, mouth and me dating Victoria.
What's that? Things that are in yo' face! I'm gonna put this in your face right now.
Hello, James.
Hello, Andrew.
In case you're wondering why I came over, it's for the purposes of gloating.
Well, gloat away, my friend.
Oh.
Victoria asked me to pick her up at her place, and you know what that means.
She gave you the address of the public library? You wish.
I've already driven by her house four times.
And if she's wearing that dress that's lying on her bed, tonight's gon' be hot! Well, Andy, you have a great time tonight.
Tell me how it goes.
Wait, wait.
No, wait.
Ah, why aren't you yelling at me and smacking me on the forehead? Because I think I'm gonna let life do that for me.
See, I've been thinking about it.
I figured out there's only one reason Victoria is dating you.
Hmm? To get to me.
You are unbelievable, man! You're just upset 'cause I stole your ego boost.
Hey, no, no, no, no.
We went head to head, my friend, and I won.
Please, please, Andy.
If I open a door even a crack for Victoria, she will jump me right there in front of the takeout counter.
Have you been drinking? A little.
Yeah, but I figured this out way before that.
All I need to say to Victoria is four little words-- hmm? "Cheryl doesn't understand me.
" You were right.
This is cozy.
Oh, see? It's like we're about to order dessert in a sleeping bag.
I wasn't gonna order dessert.
Well, then, we're just in a sleeping bag.
Andy, you are such a great guy.
Oh.
How is it possible you're still not married? Well-- hey, guys.
I hope I didn't interrupt anything.
It's a little late for that.
What the hell are you doing here? Oh, I just came by for some takeout.
You know, with the wife gone Again.
Jim! Hmm? We were just not talking about you.
Oh, I'm sure you have more important things to talk about.
All right, I'll just go over to the takeout counter here, get my dinner For one.
Oh, gosh, I I forgot my wallet.
Shocker.
Don't worry.
It's on the house.
Oh, how sweet of you.
That's really nice.
You know, Cheryl always gets upset at me when I lose my wallet.
Actually, she's been getting upset with me a lot lately.
I don't know.
I try to make her happy, and I just can't.
Oh, my gosh.
Is that true? Of course it's not true! Andy, please, you do not know what's going on behind closed doors.
I mean, I've tried everything, but Cheryl doesn't understand me.
That's terrible.
Mm-hmm.
So See you later.
Fine.
See you later.
Okay, good game.
So where were we? Oh, I believe we were halfway through the perfect first date.
Oh.
So the pressure's on.
Don't worry.
I close strong.
I forgot how much I love when you play your harmonica.
Gosh I forgot, too.
Um, excuse me.
I'm just gonna go see if I can get him to play a little louder.
Um What the hell you think you're doing? I'm in yo' face! Oh, are ya? Yeah.
Yeah, okay, I see.
You wanna play, old man? Yeah! I wanna play! Yeah? Okay.
Well, then play this.
Andy! Andy, that is my c-harp.
That cost me $19.
95 plus shipping and delivery! Jim, why don't you take that c-harp and blow? All right, Andy.
I will.
Jim! What? Knock it off.
What are you doing? Why are you ruining my date with Andy and tainting my coleslaw bar? Didn't you hear me before? Cheryl doesn't understand me.
Who can blame her? You're a nutcase.
It's okay.
He's with her now, but he'll come back to you eventually.
Hello! We're ho-- what the hell? Is there a homeless man on our table? Um, honey, why don't you go help your brother and sister get the babies out of the car? Thank you, sweetie.
Cheryl.
You're home already? Yeah.
I guess you forgot we were coming home today.
Yeah.
Wow.
Where were you? Jim Did you go on a bender? Yeah, I mean Not really You know, a bender bender.
I mean I-I ran out of beer yesterday and liquor the day before.
So i-i tried to make some vodka out of the potato chips, and then I tried to make, um, sake out of the instant rice.
And, uh, it didn't seem to work so good.
Okay, I got two questions.
Um, number one--why are you drinking so much? And number two--why didn't you just go to the liquor store? You know, my uncle Lou had a miracle cure for hangovers, and the first ingredient wasn't your annoying questions.
Okay.
Let me see if I can piece together what happened while I was gone.
I wish you would, because there's long stretches missing.
Okay, we got a lot of beer bottles Uh-huh.
Pizza A photo album with pictures of you and Victoria.
And a picture of Andy that you drew on and wrote the word "derk"? Well, it's supposed to be "jerk," but I tried to sober up a little and I got the shakes.
Okay.
So You ran into Victoria and got a kick out of her boosting your ego, which was great, until she fell for Andy.
And that made you crazy, so you gave her your "a" game, maybe even broke out the harmonica, and she shot you down.
I was this close, Cheryl.
I was this close! Oh, honey.
Well, better luck next time.
Cheryl, wh-where is this attitude from? You approved this.
You said, "enjoy your ego boost.
" If an ego boost should present itself to you, then yes, it's okay to enjoy it.
So thanks.
So what's the problem? But if you go in search of an ego boost, then try to steal your best friend's date when your wife is out of town, that could be construed as inappropriate.
Oh.
Yeah.
I get it.
Good.
I do get it.
I'm glad.
I get how you caused the problem.
What? You can't leave me alone.
You're always out with your mother or going to see Dana in California or taking the babies to the park.
You know I need more attention! Okay.
Let me get this straight.
I just spent four hours on a plane with five children.
I begged you to come.
You wouldn't.
You hit on an ex-girlfriend and tried to drink homemade sake, and yet this is my fault? Oh, Cheryl, you do understand me.
All right, Andy, you know I'm not one to apologize.
Yes.
Here.
Thank you.
But I need to say this.
I may have crossed the line between you and Victoria.
Oh, thanks, but you don't need to apologize.
She dump you? I dumped her.
Why? Well, last night we were Making scissors, and, uh Ah, something happened.
She called out my name? Repeatedly.
Yes! Over and over.
Yes! Well after we had stopped.
I was sitting right in front of her.
There's no way she could've missed me.
Yes, yes, yes! I knew it! I knew it! Whiskers, nose hairs, teeth and my undeniable sexiness.
Oh, don't be a derk.
Things in yo' face! Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Kiss it, brother!