The Vampire Diaries s08e07 Episode Script
The Next Time I Hurt Somebody, It Could Be You
1 Previously on The Vampire Diaries BOTH: Incendia.
DAMON: How does an evil siren scheme, involve three-year-olds? She wants to offer them to Cade.
DAMON: Who's Cade? What is he? He's the devil.
So, you want your freedom in exchange for these two girls.
Cade, do we have a deal or not? What if I can offer you a better one? Two brothers.
Two powerful, immortal vampires.
STEFAN: I'll do it.
Just let the girls go.
I don't know how to protect my own children.
Yes, you dou Take them someplace safe.
Take them away from me.
SELINE: I'm done.
No more killing in his name.
Sorry, sissy.
You're about to start making payments on your karmic debt.
You cut me out of the agreement? This is for Tyler.
(Damon grunts) STEFAN: I surrendered my immortal soul to Cade.
I have to serve him the way the sirens did and deliver the darkest souls to hell so I don't end up there myself.
My one condition was that I get to spend my last 24 hours of freedom with you.
Silent night Peaceful night All things sleep (thumping outside) (gasps) It's him! It's him! Shh! He won't come unless you're asleep.
Bethlehem's silent hill And unseen (man grunting) Isn't he supposed to be on the roof? We don't have a roof.
(man screams) (man screaming) (glass shatters) (heavy breathing) I don't think that's Santa.
(exhales) Have yourself STEFAN: Dear Elena, This might be my last entry.
There may be no tomorrow.
Next year all our troubles So, the present I'm giving myself this Christmas is the present today.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas To get the twins back, I made a deal with the devil.
Make the yuletide gay At midnight, I have to leave my life behind.
Even though I just pledged it to Caroline forever.
If I can't find a way out of this, please remind her I tried.
I did everything I could to get back to her.
I thought we agreed to cancel.
Yeah, but you've been planning this Christmas Eve dinner forever, so we are going to do it.
Well, it's not about my plans, it's about us and your deal with Cade.
I think our last day of life as we know it should be a little bit less depressing than that, don't you? So, today, we are gonna do what people do on Christmas.
We're gonna eat more than we should and we're gonna drink until our friends and family seem somewhat normal.
(laughs) That's what I want today to be.
(knocking) (gasps) Hi, girls.
Merry Christmas, Mommy! Oh! Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Oh! Let me help take your jackets off.
I'm afraid we're not gonna be able to stay very long.
What? Why? This is my last day with them for awhile.
Yeah, well, uh, I take it you haven't spoken with Matt.
No.
Is Seline coming to dinner? No, honey.
STEFAN: Hey.
I thought I heard you two.
I have your Christmas present upstairs.
(cheering) (sighs) They're asking for Seline? I know.
She kidnapped them.
I guess they didn't register the danger.
No, they just keep asking for her ever since I got them back.
Well, I don't want them thinking that she's safe.
I mean, who knows when she's just gonna show up.
I, uh I'll talk to them.
No, I'll talk to them once we leave.
But we're supposed to have Christmas together first.
What is it? Did something else happen? Look, I think you'll need to sit down for this.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, Ric.
I killed you.
You what?! He deserved it.
Yeah, he and Matt took a whack at me.
They even buried me.
I can't tell you how hard it was to get all of that dirt out.
(chuckles) I know.
I know.
Christmas just got merry.
Ah, I love it.
I can totally use this to keep all my papers from blowing away.
(chuckles) I'm taking you to Paris, silly witch.
(squeals) (both laugh) Say the word and we're off.
(cell phone ringing) (laughs) I'm sorry.
I know we're late.
Thank goodness.
Don't come.
It's Damon.
He's here with that psycho American Idol reject.
Enzo cannot be around her.
And don't even get me started on what Matt and Ric just tried to pull.
What do Sybil and Damon want? To ruin Christmas, I don't know.
(sighs) But they promised to leave my kids alone and I don't want a war.
I just hope that they leave soon.
ENZO: Well, what about the tuning fork? She stole it from us.
Yeah, well, let's steal it back.
From where? For all we know it's in the trunk of her car.
It disrupts her psychic power and it hurts like hell.
She won't be carrying it around with her.
It's probably stashed where she's staying.
We have no idea where that is.
I can try to find out.
She's not gonna just tell you.
She might.
Let me call you back.
We wish you a merry Christmas Eggnog? We wish you I didn't have time to poison it.
Well, you already poisoned the bourbon with milk and cinnamon, so Ric's gonna stay with the girls for awhile.
DAMON: You don't have to hide them.
I'm honoring the deal.
We work for Cade.
Munchkins go unharmed.
Well, Ric's not exactly in a trusting mood right now and, uh neither am I.
SYBIL: My sister kidnapped them.
I saved them from a life of serving Cade when I cosigned Damon's plan.
So, put away your umbrella, Stefan.
I don't need your shade.
A simple thank you will suffice.
Thank you.
She's right.
You can't fault one sibling for the sins of the other.
Right? - I appreciate that.
- Stefan, why don't you come with me and we'll go get some of the old family tree ornaments, huh? Oh, come on, Stef.
I'll tell you why I'm here.
(Damon sighs) Mm.
My murder, Stefan.
They actually buried me in a shallow grave, not even in the family plot.
Well, it's a little hard to be sympathetic about your death when you're standing right in front of me.
Thanks to our eternal agreement with Cade.
What are you doing here? I'm getting ornaments for the tree, Stefan.
At midnight, I'm all yours, so until then, would you just leave me alone, okay? You know, Saltzman going all crazy on me did have an unexpected benefit.
What's that? I got to hang out with the new head honcho.
Cade? The one and only.
He's an interesting guy.
You want time with him? Not particularly, no.
Funny thing (grunts) he said the opposite about you.
(gasps) (groans) Caroline? Mr.
Salvatore.
I've been waiting for you.
Cade.
Where are we? Just behind the veil.
So, this is hell? My living room? If this were hell, you would know it.
Think of this as a waiting room.
Lucky for you, I'm sending you back.
But not before we discuss our partnership.
What's there to discuss? My brother and I fetch bad guys for the rest of our existence and in exchange, you keep us out of hell.
Seems pretty horrifically straightforward if you ask me.
Surely, you must have questions.
Just a Hail Mary pass since we're here.
Why don't you let me out of this deal? I'm not the right person for you.
Actually you're the perfect person.
I'm here to show you why.
Mmm, this is gonna be a killer dinner.
Are the other guests on the way? Let's hope so.
Goody.
I can't wait.
I haven't had a Christmas Eve dinner in ever.
(sighs) Here, here, here.
- Let me help.
- (laughs) Besides, you wouldn't want to get turkey juice on that gigantic rock on your finger.
So? When's the wedding? It was supposed to be in June, - but - Oh, that's right.
Cade.
Hmm.
Don't worry.
A vampire like Stefan will be really good.
He can probably kill 12 people in two seconds (gulps) and still be home in time to draw you a bath.
Thrilling.
So, what's your favorite part about Mystic Falls so far? Hmm Huge houses with big pools.
You know I love the water, and it's not like I have to pay the mortgage or anything.
It's hard to find those around here.
Actually, there's a little neighborhood outside of Grove Hill called the Pond Estates.
Weirdly though, there's no pond.
(laughs) I know, right? Anyway, it's filled with rich, sleazy men that'll give up their whole house for a song.
Get it? (laughs) That's hilarious.
Hmm.
I'll be right back.
(sighs) There's a McMansion neighborhood called the Pond Estates.
It's somewhere outside of Grove Hill.
Okay.
We'll look it up.
Are you guys okay? It is insane around here.
Sybil wants to be my bestie.
Lizzie and Josie keep asking about Seline.
And I'm pretty sure Stefan's just off hiding somewhere.
It's times like these I really miss Elena.
If she were here, Damon wouldn't be doing any of this.
Yeah, well, she's not here, and BONNIE: Caroline? Caroline.
I need another gift box.
(beeps) Stefan? Stefan! Stefan (gasps) (exhales) DAMON: Relax.
He's not dead.
Have you seen Ric? Because if that's what's holding up dinner (grunts) What did you do? I killed him.
I mean, technically, he is dead.
But he'll be back.
Your baby daddy staked me and I don't have a scratch.
Same dealio.
(panting) Big man requested a meeting.
What was I gonna do? You know I bet that if you just wash this off it might still work.
(exhales) "But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.
" One more story, Daddy.
(chuckles) Okay.
One more, but then a nap, because Santa Claus is scheduled to drop by any minute now.
LIZZIE: Uncle Stefan says our palace is the safest place in the whole world.
And Uncle Stefan's right.
But remember.
Never open the palace doors for anyone but Mommy, Daddy and Uncle Stefan, okay? LIZZIE: And Seline.
(lullaby music playing) On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me A partridge in a pear tree Do you like these ornaments? Nope.
Not even a little bit.
Hey.
Surprise, surprise.
Matt! I thought you said that you weren't coming.
Uh.
apparently, the Mystic Grill wasn't good enough for this guy.
Holidays are special.
I convinced him he should stick around for the people he loves.
Which is a hell of a lot more than he can say for you, Peter Maxwell.
SYBIL: (gasps) Ooh! - We've been waiting for you.
- CAROLINE: Well, Damon's alive, as you can see.
Bonnie and Enzo are late.
And Stefan's dead! Merry Christmas.
I've got gifts.
Where is this? I worked here.
I picked grapes.
Pomegranates, I think.
Those aren't grapes.
But it is your work.
Ringing a bell? Take another look.
If death is your canvas this is your masterpiece.
Nothing but evil could produce this.
I decided you were mine.
Right here.
Monterey.
Christmas.
Christmas? I wasn't here on Christmas.
On the contrary, Ripper.
Look, I know what damage I've to done to these people.
I've been living with that guilt for a hundred years.
But not on Christmas.
I wouldn't do that Let's make sue we all get back to the spirit of Christmas.
At the heart of it is forgiveness.
So, Matt.
Peter.
Thanks.
And my mother taught me to always be prepared for anything.
Thank you.
Don we now our gay apparel Fa-la-la, la-la-la Now, this one is for Damon.
Even though we've had our moments, I know that there is a future you that is going to ask for my forgiveness one day.
This is for that guy.
DAMON: Anyway (clears throat) I'm sure you're all asking yourselves why I barged in tonight.
Relax.
I come bearing a gift.
Now, unfortunately, I'm only gonna be able to give it to the most despicably evil person in the room, and that's gonna be a tough decision.
But tonight, one lucky little elf is gonna get an all expense paid, one-way trip, straight to hell.
Meaning, I'm gonna kill one of you.
Let's eat.
Hey.
You sure this is it? Four houses had pools.
Only one had lights on.
Call it intuition.
Do the honors? (door opens) (door slams) (groans) (chuckles softly) She picked a place with an owner.
I'll be fine.
I can do it.
All right.
WOMAN: Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 'Tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la Don we now our gay apparel - Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
- I know you're here.
Tammy, extend an invitation to our other guest, please.
His name is Enzo, and he's probably freezing.
Enzo, do come in, young man.
Enzo, no! I'm not gonna harm him.
Or you.
I'm not Sybil.
Okay.
We'll just leave, then.
Without the weapon? That is what you came for.
Sybil left for Mystic Falls.
You two show up here.
It doesn't take a psychic to know it's not to keep me company.
Besides, that's what I sirened Tammy's family for.
Who wants to be alone on Christmas? Bring me your phone, Bonnie.
It's really quite simple.
I assess the evil in people, so if they are wicked, immoral, corrupt, foul, nefarious, et cetera, I kill them.
These are the au gratin potatoes.
Stefan made them.
They're a Salvatore recipe.
Hey, where the hell is Ric? What was he, reading the dictionary to those girls? You are not going to kill Ric or anybody else.
We are just going to sit here and enjoy this nice dinner just like Stefan wanted.
DAMON: What? Was just breaking some bread.
Why are you doing this? - It's kind of his job.
- To murder innocent people? Look who's talking about murder.
- I never killed - Oh, yeah? Your old flame Penny is pretty dead as a door (slams table) I never murdered anyone.
CAROLINE: Matt.
Please.
DAMON: You know, at least Ric looked a little torn up when that stake went in my heart.
And you looked pretty psyched.
But I forgive you, Mattie.
You've had a lot of tragedy in your life.
Here's the deal.
Ric was just doing the parental thing, much like what he's doing upstairs right now.
Do I want to kill him? Yes, but that's personal.
This should be principle.
It's all personal, Damon.
SYBIL: What about this Peter fellow? I've heard so so much about you.
Back off.
Or what? - Bonnie? - SELINE: Don't hang up.
Bonnie and Enzo are here with me.
They're in no danger.
We're fine, Ric.
Seline just wants to talk to you.
She won't give us the weapon unless we got you on the phone.
What the hell do you have to say? Your children need my help.
My children are just fine.
And you're never gonna come around them ever again.
I have to.
I need to fix what I started.
I was giving them training, preparing them for Cade.
That left a psychic imprint.
If I don't remove that imprint, they will always be linked to me.
They must be showing signs of it by now.
Look, I did what you asked, and I got on the phone.
Now it's your turn.
Give my friends what they need.
Alaric, I'm not who you think I am.
I have been trying to escape for years.
Then do us all a favor.
And drop dead.
(sighs) Something nice and easy, Tammy.
O holy night If that's your Christmas list, then you better get cracking.
Sadly, it's not that kind of list.
Georgie Dowling? Ric's intern? She's the last person I killed.
It's reverse chronological order.
The names were a habit I picked up along the way.
Where'd you pick that up, exactly? In Monterey.
STEFAN: I don't remember doing this.
Recognize him? CADE: That you showed remorse meant nothing to me.
But for some reason, it did to her.
Does this jog your memory? Who are they? Your victims? Leave or you'll go up there next.
You are too exhausted to hurt me.
(humming) You will rest now.
In torment.
My master has claimed your soul.
(yelling) Stefan Salvatore? Are you sure? Positive.
I had every intention of eating his flesh.
I had ripped apart so many others but none of them massacred an entire work camp on Christmas Eve.
Ironic, huh? What made you spare him? When I looked into his mind, I didn't see evil.
I only saw anguish.
(gasps) You can see inside my mind, can't you? It's horrible, isn't it? I know.
Take me.
I deserve it.
Yes, you do.
I was made into a Ripper who craves blood all day and all night.
Kill me.
Do it.
Please.
(sighs) (gasping) I saw a man who was innocent, had loved, and then had to become a monster to survive.
That's a story I know all too well.
Maybe he deserved Cade's wrath, but I no longer wanted to be the one to decide.
She took the memory away.
CADE: She altered your subconscious enough that you forgot on your own.
Made me believe I was worthy of a life.
Yeah.
Weak.
I knew I had lost her.
But it piqued my interest in you.
You're a savage killer who escaped fate and turned my best servant into a mush of remorse.
That combination makes you valuable.
That's why I jumped at the opportunity to have you as my new servant.
You a coldhearted killing machine, instead of some reluctant girl who found morality a hundred years ago.
I will never be that Ripper again.
Not for you.
Not anyone.
I'm disappointed to hear it.
Hmm.
That Ripper is exactly what I want in a servant.
One more stop.
All I wanted was a way out.
I always wanted to be mortal.
To be free.
But now, when I die, Cade will torture my soul in hell.
Because my sister sold me out.
Redemption is the only chance I have.
(tuning fork clinks) If Alaric loves his daughters, he will bring them to see me.
We'll relay the message.
Can't promise results.
The path to forgiveness begins with one step, right? Thank you.
PETER: I told you.
I gambled away lots of money.
I cheated on my taxes for sure.
I don't know what else you want to know.
Well, look who decided to join us.
I was just asking Peter what's the worst thing he's ever done.
Oh, well, mine was not making sure you that you were permanently dead.
I see you're wreaking havoc as usual.
Damon, drop this stupid game.
Oh, but humiliating public confession is so fun.
You left your son.
You abandoned your family.
And your answer to the question what's the worst thing you've ever done is (imitating Peter): "Uh, "I guess I gambled and cheated on account of my dishonesty.
" I was a kid.
Well, unless your last name is Pan, you haven't been a kid for a long time.
So, explain to me the last 20-plus years.
None of your business, Damon.
Enough! Enough.
This has gone way too far.
You do not need to answer him.
Yes you do.
And quick.
(yells) Next cut goes a couple inches lower.
What are you gonna do, Donovan? Kill me again? Let's hear Papa's story while he still has some vocal cords.
Last chance.
What kept you away for more than 20 years? It was shame, okay? Just look, I was I was ashamed.
Kelly was pregnant again and I I couldn't come back and be another toilet scrubber in this town, I had I had to get out.
(breathing heavily) DAMON: Wow.
It's worse than I thought.
He didn't have a reason at all.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.
(school bell rings) Why are we here? CADE: This is moments before you first met her, literally ran into her.
Elena.
If only you had never come down this hallway, we might not be together now.
This was from a chapter in my life when I was good.
I loved her.
She already had enough tragedy in her life.
You just had to insert yourself.
All because you "had to know her.
" You took a good girl whose life was headed down the right path and you veered her right into the median.
That was never my intention.
I tried to protect her.
Never meeting her was the only way to protect her.
But instead, you chose a total stranger and turned her into something dark.
(school bell rings) Well, I can't take that back, can I? But you can do it again.
For me.
Find people that would get into the place with pearly gates by an inch, and make them into folks that would miss it by a mile.
Like Elena.
Help me gather what I need.
But Elena is a good person.
I thought you needed evil people.
Good people who can be made wicked.
They are evil at their core.
Their souls are unusually potent.
Those are the ones I want to feed on most of all.
I'm so sorry about your face.
Me? I prefer to catch my flies with honey.
See, Damon came here to give something, but I came here to get something.
So, where is it? Whatever you want, look, I-I don't have it.
Lies.
Lady, I have no idea what you're talking about.
All you need to know is that you have something I need, and you will give it to me.
(yelling) I wouldn't.
(door opens, closes) (yelling) Simple mind, where is it? (Peter groaning) - (tuning fork ringing) - (gasping) Are you all right, love? (groaning) You've taken too much of my time.
I suppose.
Especially considering I have forever with you.
And if I refuse? I suddenly become patient enough to wait for those kids upstairs to come of age.
And what if you don't have to be patient? What if I can get the job done faster? "Faster"? How? I could become the Ripper that you want.
I'd be more effective that way.
I wouldn't be held back by my emotions.
You'd turn your humanity off? For a short time, yes.
And then after, when it's over, you let me and my brother go.
When I was the Ripper I was one of a kind.
No one can do what I do.
One year.
Although the beast I saw in Monterey will never tire of this work.
I predict that, after a year with me, you won't want to leave.
Well, I think you're wrong.
That's what makes our wager worthwhile.
CAROLERS: Silent night DAMON: How's your head? Aside from the wine, it's okay.
Good.
You saved me tonight.
It was instinct.
Something's happening in there.
I didn't know you had one of those.
- Mm, must be the holidays.
- Oh.
Well, then, is that my Christmas present in your jacket? (gasps) (quietly): Damon Oh, it's beautiful.
ELENA (whispering): My necklace.
I thought I'd never see it again.
Thank you.
(gasps) - You seriously couldn't hear that? - I heard it.
It just sounded like what it is a tuning fork.
It gave me a splitting headache.
Ric said it hurt the girls' ears, too.
Maybe it's a signal that only witches can hear.
Please tell me those siren wretches aren't also witches.
They sully the name.
My grams used to say that all witchcraft was rooted in psychic energy.
Before I knew I had magic, I believed I was psychic.
Hmm.
And that's what the sirens are.
And Cade.
Oh, gross, we're all connected.
All the more reason to get the hell out of Dodge.
(on radio): Noel, noel Um, you should know that I bought you T-shirts.
Figured you were tired of me sleeping in yours.
You're taking me to Paris, and I bought you T-shirts.
T-shirts! I suck.
Bonnie Bennett You are the gift I've always wanted.
Of Israel.
(sighs) Hey.
Oh, thank God! Where's Damon? He's gone.
Everybody's gone.
Come with me.
Where are we going? What happened with Cade? I'll tell you.
It's good.
But first You could have kissed me anywhere.
I needed at least one thing I planned for today to actually work.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Now stop stalling.
(sighs) We made a deal.
I serve him for a year, and then I'm done.
Why would you agree to that? Because what I'm going to do and how I'm gonna do it makes it worth it to him.
What are you going to do? Caroline, please don't, don't don't make me say it right now.
Just let me have this moment.
'Cause in seven minutes, Christmas is over, and everything changes so let me be here, right now with you.
(car door opens, shuts) When you said the Salvatore home, I thought you meant the front door.
Yeah, we've had enough guests for one night.
Besides, this is between us.
I'm doing this for them, not you.
- Remember my terms.
- I will.
Girls.
- Seline! - Seline! Hey.
I missed you guys.
So we are gonna play a little game, and then you won't remember me, but that's okay, 'cause you have so many people that love you.
BOTH: Thank you, Mommy, thank you, Daddy.
You're very welcome.
We need to get going soon.
(girl gasps) I know.
I know.
(girls giggling) Hop in.
Aren't you light a passenger? Three's a crowd.
(engine revs, tires screech) You're gonna want to get under the hood and flip that humanity switch, Stefan.
Won't be so painful.
Not yet.
Suit yourself, Ebenezer.
(sighs) The Salvatore brothers, back on the road again.
We need a theme song or something.
(flips through radio stations) Christmas night, on this night, on this night On this very Christmas night On this night, on this night On this very Christmas night On this night, on this night On this very Christmas night On this night, on this night On this very Christmas night On this night, on this night On this very Christmas night Oh-oh-oh Oh, oh-oh Oh-oh oh Oh There he is.
Merry Christmas, brother.
Merry Christmas.
(engine revs)
DAMON: How does an evil siren scheme, involve three-year-olds? She wants to offer them to Cade.
DAMON: Who's Cade? What is he? He's the devil.
So, you want your freedom in exchange for these two girls.
Cade, do we have a deal or not? What if I can offer you a better one? Two brothers.
Two powerful, immortal vampires.
STEFAN: I'll do it.
Just let the girls go.
I don't know how to protect my own children.
Yes, you dou Take them someplace safe.
Take them away from me.
SELINE: I'm done.
No more killing in his name.
Sorry, sissy.
You're about to start making payments on your karmic debt.
You cut me out of the agreement? This is for Tyler.
(Damon grunts) STEFAN: I surrendered my immortal soul to Cade.
I have to serve him the way the sirens did and deliver the darkest souls to hell so I don't end up there myself.
My one condition was that I get to spend my last 24 hours of freedom with you.
Silent night Peaceful night All things sleep (thumping outside) (gasps) It's him! It's him! Shh! He won't come unless you're asleep.
Bethlehem's silent hill And unseen (man grunting) Isn't he supposed to be on the roof? We don't have a roof.
(man screams) (man screaming) (glass shatters) (heavy breathing) I don't think that's Santa.
(exhales) Have yourself STEFAN: Dear Elena, This might be my last entry.
There may be no tomorrow.
Next year all our troubles So, the present I'm giving myself this Christmas is the present today.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas To get the twins back, I made a deal with the devil.
Make the yuletide gay At midnight, I have to leave my life behind.
Even though I just pledged it to Caroline forever.
If I can't find a way out of this, please remind her I tried.
I did everything I could to get back to her.
I thought we agreed to cancel.
Yeah, but you've been planning this Christmas Eve dinner forever, so we are going to do it.
Well, it's not about my plans, it's about us and your deal with Cade.
I think our last day of life as we know it should be a little bit less depressing than that, don't you? So, today, we are gonna do what people do on Christmas.
We're gonna eat more than we should and we're gonna drink until our friends and family seem somewhat normal.
(laughs) That's what I want today to be.
(knocking) (gasps) Hi, girls.
Merry Christmas, Mommy! Oh! Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Oh! Let me help take your jackets off.
I'm afraid we're not gonna be able to stay very long.
What? Why? This is my last day with them for awhile.
Yeah, well, uh, I take it you haven't spoken with Matt.
No.
Is Seline coming to dinner? No, honey.
STEFAN: Hey.
I thought I heard you two.
I have your Christmas present upstairs.
(cheering) (sighs) They're asking for Seline? I know.
She kidnapped them.
I guess they didn't register the danger.
No, they just keep asking for her ever since I got them back.
Well, I don't want them thinking that she's safe.
I mean, who knows when she's just gonna show up.
I, uh I'll talk to them.
No, I'll talk to them once we leave.
But we're supposed to have Christmas together first.
What is it? Did something else happen? Look, I think you'll need to sit down for this.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, Ric.
I killed you.
You what?! He deserved it.
Yeah, he and Matt took a whack at me.
They even buried me.
I can't tell you how hard it was to get all of that dirt out.
(chuckles) I know.
I know.
Christmas just got merry.
Ah, I love it.
I can totally use this to keep all my papers from blowing away.
(chuckles) I'm taking you to Paris, silly witch.
(squeals) (both laugh) Say the word and we're off.
(cell phone ringing) (laughs) I'm sorry.
I know we're late.
Thank goodness.
Don't come.
It's Damon.
He's here with that psycho American Idol reject.
Enzo cannot be around her.
And don't even get me started on what Matt and Ric just tried to pull.
What do Sybil and Damon want? To ruin Christmas, I don't know.
(sighs) But they promised to leave my kids alone and I don't want a war.
I just hope that they leave soon.
ENZO: Well, what about the tuning fork? She stole it from us.
Yeah, well, let's steal it back.
From where? For all we know it's in the trunk of her car.
It disrupts her psychic power and it hurts like hell.
She won't be carrying it around with her.
It's probably stashed where she's staying.
We have no idea where that is.
I can try to find out.
She's not gonna just tell you.
She might.
Let me call you back.
We wish you a merry Christmas Eggnog? We wish you I didn't have time to poison it.
Well, you already poisoned the bourbon with milk and cinnamon, so Ric's gonna stay with the girls for awhile.
DAMON: You don't have to hide them.
I'm honoring the deal.
We work for Cade.
Munchkins go unharmed.
Well, Ric's not exactly in a trusting mood right now and, uh neither am I.
SYBIL: My sister kidnapped them.
I saved them from a life of serving Cade when I cosigned Damon's plan.
So, put away your umbrella, Stefan.
I don't need your shade.
A simple thank you will suffice.
Thank you.
She's right.
You can't fault one sibling for the sins of the other.
Right? - I appreciate that.
- Stefan, why don't you come with me and we'll go get some of the old family tree ornaments, huh? Oh, come on, Stef.
I'll tell you why I'm here.
(Damon sighs) Mm.
My murder, Stefan.
They actually buried me in a shallow grave, not even in the family plot.
Well, it's a little hard to be sympathetic about your death when you're standing right in front of me.
Thanks to our eternal agreement with Cade.
What are you doing here? I'm getting ornaments for the tree, Stefan.
At midnight, I'm all yours, so until then, would you just leave me alone, okay? You know, Saltzman going all crazy on me did have an unexpected benefit.
What's that? I got to hang out with the new head honcho.
Cade? The one and only.
He's an interesting guy.
You want time with him? Not particularly, no.
Funny thing (grunts) he said the opposite about you.
(gasps) (groans) Caroline? Mr.
Salvatore.
I've been waiting for you.
Cade.
Where are we? Just behind the veil.
So, this is hell? My living room? If this were hell, you would know it.
Think of this as a waiting room.
Lucky for you, I'm sending you back.
But not before we discuss our partnership.
What's there to discuss? My brother and I fetch bad guys for the rest of our existence and in exchange, you keep us out of hell.
Seems pretty horrifically straightforward if you ask me.
Surely, you must have questions.
Just a Hail Mary pass since we're here.
Why don't you let me out of this deal? I'm not the right person for you.
Actually you're the perfect person.
I'm here to show you why.
Mmm, this is gonna be a killer dinner.
Are the other guests on the way? Let's hope so.
Goody.
I can't wait.
I haven't had a Christmas Eve dinner in ever.
(sighs) Here, here, here.
- Let me help.
- (laughs) Besides, you wouldn't want to get turkey juice on that gigantic rock on your finger.
So? When's the wedding? It was supposed to be in June, - but - Oh, that's right.
Cade.
Hmm.
Don't worry.
A vampire like Stefan will be really good.
He can probably kill 12 people in two seconds (gulps) and still be home in time to draw you a bath.
Thrilling.
So, what's your favorite part about Mystic Falls so far? Hmm Huge houses with big pools.
You know I love the water, and it's not like I have to pay the mortgage or anything.
It's hard to find those around here.
Actually, there's a little neighborhood outside of Grove Hill called the Pond Estates.
Weirdly though, there's no pond.
(laughs) I know, right? Anyway, it's filled with rich, sleazy men that'll give up their whole house for a song.
Get it? (laughs) That's hilarious.
Hmm.
I'll be right back.
(sighs) There's a McMansion neighborhood called the Pond Estates.
It's somewhere outside of Grove Hill.
Okay.
We'll look it up.
Are you guys okay? It is insane around here.
Sybil wants to be my bestie.
Lizzie and Josie keep asking about Seline.
And I'm pretty sure Stefan's just off hiding somewhere.
It's times like these I really miss Elena.
If she were here, Damon wouldn't be doing any of this.
Yeah, well, she's not here, and BONNIE: Caroline? Caroline.
I need another gift box.
(beeps) Stefan? Stefan! Stefan (gasps) (exhales) DAMON: Relax.
He's not dead.
Have you seen Ric? Because if that's what's holding up dinner (grunts) What did you do? I killed him.
I mean, technically, he is dead.
But he'll be back.
Your baby daddy staked me and I don't have a scratch.
Same dealio.
(panting) Big man requested a meeting.
What was I gonna do? You know I bet that if you just wash this off it might still work.
(exhales) "But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.
" One more story, Daddy.
(chuckles) Okay.
One more, but then a nap, because Santa Claus is scheduled to drop by any minute now.
LIZZIE: Uncle Stefan says our palace is the safest place in the whole world.
And Uncle Stefan's right.
But remember.
Never open the palace doors for anyone but Mommy, Daddy and Uncle Stefan, okay? LIZZIE: And Seline.
(lullaby music playing) On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me A partridge in a pear tree Do you like these ornaments? Nope.
Not even a little bit.
Hey.
Surprise, surprise.
Matt! I thought you said that you weren't coming.
Uh.
apparently, the Mystic Grill wasn't good enough for this guy.
Holidays are special.
I convinced him he should stick around for the people he loves.
Which is a hell of a lot more than he can say for you, Peter Maxwell.
SYBIL: (gasps) Ooh! - We've been waiting for you.
- CAROLINE: Well, Damon's alive, as you can see.
Bonnie and Enzo are late.
And Stefan's dead! Merry Christmas.
I've got gifts.
Where is this? I worked here.
I picked grapes.
Pomegranates, I think.
Those aren't grapes.
But it is your work.
Ringing a bell? Take another look.
If death is your canvas this is your masterpiece.
Nothing but evil could produce this.
I decided you were mine.
Right here.
Monterey.
Christmas.
Christmas? I wasn't here on Christmas.
On the contrary, Ripper.
Look, I know what damage I've to done to these people.
I've been living with that guilt for a hundred years.
But not on Christmas.
I wouldn't do that Let's make sue we all get back to the spirit of Christmas.
At the heart of it is forgiveness.
So, Matt.
Peter.
Thanks.
And my mother taught me to always be prepared for anything.
Thank you.
Don we now our gay apparel Fa-la-la, la-la-la Now, this one is for Damon.
Even though we've had our moments, I know that there is a future you that is going to ask for my forgiveness one day.
This is for that guy.
DAMON: Anyway (clears throat) I'm sure you're all asking yourselves why I barged in tonight.
Relax.
I come bearing a gift.
Now, unfortunately, I'm only gonna be able to give it to the most despicably evil person in the room, and that's gonna be a tough decision.
But tonight, one lucky little elf is gonna get an all expense paid, one-way trip, straight to hell.
Meaning, I'm gonna kill one of you.
Let's eat.
Hey.
You sure this is it? Four houses had pools.
Only one had lights on.
Call it intuition.
Do the honors? (door opens) (door slams) (groans) (chuckles softly) She picked a place with an owner.
I'll be fine.
I can do it.
All right.
WOMAN: Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 'Tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la Don we now our gay apparel - Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
- I know you're here.
Tammy, extend an invitation to our other guest, please.
His name is Enzo, and he's probably freezing.
Enzo, do come in, young man.
Enzo, no! I'm not gonna harm him.
Or you.
I'm not Sybil.
Okay.
We'll just leave, then.
Without the weapon? That is what you came for.
Sybil left for Mystic Falls.
You two show up here.
It doesn't take a psychic to know it's not to keep me company.
Besides, that's what I sirened Tammy's family for.
Who wants to be alone on Christmas? Bring me your phone, Bonnie.
It's really quite simple.
I assess the evil in people, so if they are wicked, immoral, corrupt, foul, nefarious, et cetera, I kill them.
These are the au gratin potatoes.
Stefan made them.
They're a Salvatore recipe.
Hey, where the hell is Ric? What was he, reading the dictionary to those girls? You are not going to kill Ric or anybody else.
We are just going to sit here and enjoy this nice dinner just like Stefan wanted.
DAMON: What? Was just breaking some bread.
Why are you doing this? - It's kind of his job.
- To murder innocent people? Look who's talking about murder.
- I never killed - Oh, yeah? Your old flame Penny is pretty dead as a door (slams table) I never murdered anyone.
CAROLINE: Matt.
Please.
DAMON: You know, at least Ric looked a little torn up when that stake went in my heart.
And you looked pretty psyched.
But I forgive you, Mattie.
You've had a lot of tragedy in your life.
Here's the deal.
Ric was just doing the parental thing, much like what he's doing upstairs right now.
Do I want to kill him? Yes, but that's personal.
This should be principle.
It's all personal, Damon.
SYBIL: What about this Peter fellow? I've heard so so much about you.
Back off.
Or what? - Bonnie? - SELINE: Don't hang up.
Bonnie and Enzo are here with me.
They're in no danger.
We're fine, Ric.
Seline just wants to talk to you.
She won't give us the weapon unless we got you on the phone.
What the hell do you have to say? Your children need my help.
My children are just fine.
And you're never gonna come around them ever again.
I have to.
I need to fix what I started.
I was giving them training, preparing them for Cade.
That left a psychic imprint.
If I don't remove that imprint, they will always be linked to me.
They must be showing signs of it by now.
Look, I did what you asked, and I got on the phone.
Now it's your turn.
Give my friends what they need.
Alaric, I'm not who you think I am.
I have been trying to escape for years.
Then do us all a favor.
And drop dead.
(sighs) Something nice and easy, Tammy.
O holy night If that's your Christmas list, then you better get cracking.
Sadly, it's not that kind of list.
Georgie Dowling? Ric's intern? She's the last person I killed.
It's reverse chronological order.
The names were a habit I picked up along the way.
Where'd you pick that up, exactly? In Monterey.
STEFAN: I don't remember doing this.
Recognize him? CADE: That you showed remorse meant nothing to me.
But for some reason, it did to her.
Does this jog your memory? Who are they? Your victims? Leave or you'll go up there next.
You are too exhausted to hurt me.
(humming) You will rest now.
In torment.
My master has claimed your soul.
(yelling) Stefan Salvatore? Are you sure? Positive.
I had every intention of eating his flesh.
I had ripped apart so many others but none of them massacred an entire work camp on Christmas Eve.
Ironic, huh? What made you spare him? When I looked into his mind, I didn't see evil.
I only saw anguish.
(gasps) You can see inside my mind, can't you? It's horrible, isn't it? I know.
Take me.
I deserve it.
Yes, you do.
I was made into a Ripper who craves blood all day and all night.
Kill me.
Do it.
Please.
(sighs) (gasping) I saw a man who was innocent, had loved, and then had to become a monster to survive.
That's a story I know all too well.
Maybe he deserved Cade's wrath, but I no longer wanted to be the one to decide.
She took the memory away.
CADE: She altered your subconscious enough that you forgot on your own.
Made me believe I was worthy of a life.
Yeah.
Weak.
I knew I had lost her.
But it piqued my interest in you.
You're a savage killer who escaped fate and turned my best servant into a mush of remorse.
That combination makes you valuable.
That's why I jumped at the opportunity to have you as my new servant.
You a coldhearted killing machine, instead of some reluctant girl who found morality a hundred years ago.
I will never be that Ripper again.
Not for you.
Not anyone.
I'm disappointed to hear it.
Hmm.
That Ripper is exactly what I want in a servant.
One more stop.
All I wanted was a way out.
I always wanted to be mortal.
To be free.
But now, when I die, Cade will torture my soul in hell.
Because my sister sold me out.
Redemption is the only chance I have.
(tuning fork clinks) If Alaric loves his daughters, he will bring them to see me.
We'll relay the message.
Can't promise results.
The path to forgiveness begins with one step, right? Thank you.
PETER: I told you.
I gambled away lots of money.
I cheated on my taxes for sure.
I don't know what else you want to know.
Well, look who decided to join us.
I was just asking Peter what's the worst thing he's ever done.
Oh, well, mine was not making sure you that you were permanently dead.
I see you're wreaking havoc as usual.
Damon, drop this stupid game.
Oh, but humiliating public confession is so fun.
You left your son.
You abandoned your family.
And your answer to the question what's the worst thing you've ever done is (imitating Peter): "Uh, "I guess I gambled and cheated on account of my dishonesty.
" I was a kid.
Well, unless your last name is Pan, you haven't been a kid for a long time.
So, explain to me the last 20-plus years.
None of your business, Damon.
Enough! Enough.
This has gone way too far.
You do not need to answer him.
Yes you do.
And quick.
(yells) Next cut goes a couple inches lower.
What are you gonna do, Donovan? Kill me again? Let's hear Papa's story while he still has some vocal cords.
Last chance.
What kept you away for more than 20 years? It was shame, okay? Just look, I was I was ashamed.
Kelly was pregnant again and I I couldn't come back and be another toilet scrubber in this town, I had I had to get out.
(breathing heavily) DAMON: Wow.
It's worse than I thought.
He didn't have a reason at all.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.
(school bell rings) Why are we here? CADE: This is moments before you first met her, literally ran into her.
Elena.
If only you had never come down this hallway, we might not be together now.
This was from a chapter in my life when I was good.
I loved her.
She already had enough tragedy in her life.
You just had to insert yourself.
All because you "had to know her.
" You took a good girl whose life was headed down the right path and you veered her right into the median.
That was never my intention.
I tried to protect her.
Never meeting her was the only way to protect her.
But instead, you chose a total stranger and turned her into something dark.
(school bell rings) Well, I can't take that back, can I? But you can do it again.
For me.
Find people that would get into the place with pearly gates by an inch, and make them into folks that would miss it by a mile.
Like Elena.
Help me gather what I need.
But Elena is a good person.
I thought you needed evil people.
Good people who can be made wicked.
They are evil at their core.
Their souls are unusually potent.
Those are the ones I want to feed on most of all.
I'm so sorry about your face.
Me? I prefer to catch my flies with honey.
See, Damon came here to give something, but I came here to get something.
So, where is it? Whatever you want, look, I-I don't have it.
Lies.
Lady, I have no idea what you're talking about.
All you need to know is that you have something I need, and you will give it to me.
(yelling) I wouldn't.
(door opens, closes) (yelling) Simple mind, where is it? (Peter groaning) - (tuning fork ringing) - (gasping) Are you all right, love? (groaning) You've taken too much of my time.
I suppose.
Especially considering I have forever with you.
And if I refuse? I suddenly become patient enough to wait for those kids upstairs to come of age.
And what if you don't have to be patient? What if I can get the job done faster? "Faster"? How? I could become the Ripper that you want.
I'd be more effective that way.
I wouldn't be held back by my emotions.
You'd turn your humanity off? For a short time, yes.
And then after, when it's over, you let me and my brother go.
When I was the Ripper I was one of a kind.
No one can do what I do.
One year.
Although the beast I saw in Monterey will never tire of this work.
I predict that, after a year with me, you won't want to leave.
Well, I think you're wrong.
That's what makes our wager worthwhile.
CAROLERS: Silent night DAMON: How's your head? Aside from the wine, it's okay.
Good.
You saved me tonight.
It was instinct.
Something's happening in there.
I didn't know you had one of those.
- Mm, must be the holidays.
- Oh.
Well, then, is that my Christmas present in your jacket? (gasps) (quietly): Damon Oh, it's beautiful.
ELENA (whispering): My necklace.
I thought I'd never see it again.
Thank you.
(gasps) - You seriously couldn't hear that? - I heard it.
It just sounded like what it is a tuning fork.
It gave me a splitting headache.
Ric said it hurt the girls' ears, too.
Maybe it's a signal that only witches can hear.
Please tell me those siren wretches aren't also witches.
They sully the name.
My grams used to say that all witchcraft was rooted in psychic energy.
Before I knew I had magic, I believed I was psychic.
Hmm.
And that's what the sirens are.
And Cade.
Oh, gross, we're all connected.
All the more reason to get the hell out of Dodge.
(on radio): Noel, noel Um, you should know that I bought you T-shirts.
Figured you were tired of me sleeping in yours.
You're taking me to Paris, and I bought you T-shirts.
T-shirts! I suck.
Bonnie Bennett You are the gift I've always wanted.
Of Israel.
(sighs) Hey.
Oh, thank God! Where's Damon? He's gone.
Everybody's gone.
Come with me.
Where are we going? What happened with Cade? I'll tell you.
It's good.
But first You could have kissed me anywhere.
I needed at least one thing I planned for today to actually work.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Now stop stalling.
(sighs) We made a deal.
I serve him for a year, and then I'm done.
Why would you agree to that? Because what I'm going to do and how I'm gonna do it makes it worth it to him.
What are you going to do? Caroline, please don't, don't don't make me say it right now.
Just let me have this moment.
'Cause in seven minutes, Christmas is over, and everything changes so let me be here, right now with you.
(car door opens, shuts) When you said the Salvatore home, I thought you meant the front door.
Yeah, we've had enough guests for one night.
Besides, this is between us.
I'm doing this for them, not you.
- Remember my terms.
- I will.
Girls.
- Seline! - Seline! Hey.
I missed you guys.
So we are gonna play a little game, and then you won't remember me, but that's okay, 'cause you have so many people that love you.
BOTH: Thank you, Mommy, thank you, Daddy.
You're very welcome.
We need to get going soon.
(girl gasps) I know.
I know.
(girls giggling) Hop in.
Aren't you light a passenger? Three's a crowd.
(engine revs, tires screech) You're gonna want to get under the hood and flip that humanity switch, Stefan.
Won't be so painful.
Not yet.
Suit yourself, Ebenezer.
(sighs) The Salvatore brothers, back on the road again.
We need a theme song or something.
(flips through radio stations) Christmas night, on this night, on this night On this very Christmas night On this night, on this night On this very Christmas night On this night, on this night On this very Christmas night On this night, on this night On this very Christmas night On this night, on this night On this very Christmas night Oh-oh-oh Oh, oh-oh Oh-oh oh Oh There he is.
Merry Christmas, brother.
Merry Christmas.
(engine revs)