Regular Show (2010) s08e09 Episode Script
Fries Night
Listen, Benson, we need to talk.
We are talking! Ooh! Want to hear how many push-ups I did at training today? No, we need to really talk.
Oh.
Okay.
This this isn't working for me anymore.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Benson, you're a great guy, but, I have no idea when you're coming back, or or if you're coming back.
Sure, sure.
You know, statistically, the further away two mates are from each other, the less likely it is that their relationship will last.
I've done the calculations, and our odds are only 1.
35%.
Mm-hmm.
I'm I'm sorry, Benson.
It's not you, it's just math.
I think we should just be friends.
I get it.
I was sent millions of miles into space against my will, you're back on Earth.
Are you sure you're okay? I totally understand.
I am go-o-od.
Pa-a-a-m! Why?! No-o-o-o.
Okay, okay, okay.
My turn.
Hmm? Hmm-hmm? Would you rather have spaghetti for fingers or have spiders crawl out of your mouth every time you yawn? Hmm.
That's a good one.
If I eat my spaghetti fingers, do they grow back? Yeah, but they're whole wheat pasta.
Aw! Sick dude! Well in that case, I got to go with Uh Mm Uh-oh.
Um, hey, buddy.
Everything okay, man? No.
Pam dumped me.
I've been eating all these wings, but they're not making me feel any better.
Hey, wait, didn't you and Pam eat wings on your first date? Oh, no! That's why they're not working! They're just making me think about Pam! Whoa, whoa! Forget about wings! Yeah, these space wings are whack anyways.
We know what'll make you feel better.
What? Um Um Frrrri Frrrrii Fries! Fries? Crispy, delicious fries.
I'm talking curly! Criss-cut! Wedge-cut.
Crinkle-cut!! Shoe-string! Artisanal salt, yo! Yeah! Fries will fill the void in my soul! Whew! We really dodged a bullet on that one.
Where can I find fries? Wedge-cut, criss-cut, crinkle-cut, wedge-cut, criss-cut, crinkle-cut, shoe-strings.
I think I'm starting to feel better alread Oh, my gosh! It was a hit and run! That ice cream truck guy just took off! Are you okay? Huh? Where am I? Who are you? I'm Roxy, and you're in my fry truck.
Great! I'm Benson.
Can I get an order of fries? I'm sorry, but we sold out in, like, 10 minutes.
Got to kick you out.
I'm about to go on a supply run.
Ugh, typical.
The saddest day of my life, then I get hit by a truck, and now I can't even get fries.
Why did I think fries could make me happy again? This was dumb.
Sorry to bother you, Roxy.
Or if you want to tag along with me on my supply run, I can make you a fresh batch when I'm done.
Really? You'd do that for me? My fries are the best in the galaxy, Benson.
We're gonna turn that frown upside down.
Wait, are you smiling? Yep.
"Roxy's Fries" Guaranteed to put a smile on your face!" All right.
So, we're just going for a quick grocery store run or something? Not if you want the good stuff.
This is the potato planet mine.
For the good stuff, we got it go way down there to the bottom.
You sure we can't just go to the grocery store? Hey, there's a reason my fries are the best in the galaxy.
Come on! Ow! That kind of hurt.
So, what do we do now? Now we dig.
You're the boss.
Whew! This is actually kind of fun! I think I see a smile coming on.
Oh, no! Potato bugs! Run! Aaaaaaah! I just want some fries! I'm trying to get through a rough day, and I don't have time for this right now! Benson! Help me! Aah! Roxy! Are you okay? II think so.
Good.
We better get out of here.
I can't believe you did that.
Okay, we got potato.
What's next? Um, right! Uh, we need oil.
Okay.
Barrel's in place.
Great.
I'll open the valve.
Oh, here.
I'll get that.
Thanks! I guess chivalry isn't dead.
So, if you want to talk about your bad day, you can.
I can offer a shoulder to cry on.
I mean Well, not literally, but Uh, thanks.
I guess it's just hard being single and in space.
I'm single and in space, too! So, um, do you have any hobbies? Well, I used to be a drummer in a rock band.
Oh.
A rock band? Oh, yeah, back in the day, I was all, "Two-three-four doon-doon-dat, doon-doon-dat!" Bubba-dubba-dubba-dubba, doon-doon-dat! Doon-doon-dat, pshhh! Huh? Benson, you goo oof? Mm.
Oh, yeah.
That's better.
Whew! So, where to next? Uh, we got to cut the potatoes.
Uh Uh Roxy? Hey, Roxy? Earth to Roxy! Everything okay? Oh! Uh Sorry! I, ah I um, I've got to go make a phone call.
Excuse me! Come on, come on Roxy! Hey, girl! Crystal! Listen, I I need some advice.
Ooh, I know what that means.
You have a crush.
Oh, well, yeah.
Is he cut? How many karats is he? Well, that's the thing.
He's, uh Oh, boy He's an organic.
Get out! An organic? The ultimate taboo.
I don't know if he's into me.
I-I always mess this kind of thing up.
Roxy, quit worrying so much.
You're a stone-cold rox! Stop being such a pebble and be boulder.
Flirt with him a bit.
Take him to the most romantic place in the universe.
You got this, girl! Uhh, I got to roll, Rox.
It's like a quarry out here.
Crystal, you are a gem.
Thanks! Hey, Slater, wait up! Oh, hey.
Sorry about that.
Wow, you cut those fast.
You know, you're pretty good at this.
Yeah? Are you hiring? Yeah! Maybe we should go into business together.
What do you say? You want to be be my sous-chef? Oh, my gosh! Are you okay? Whoa, this place is awesome, Roxy.
Oh, yeah! I must have forgot this was here.
It's amazing.
Roxy Mm-hmm? This day started off being one of the worst days of my life, but you made it into one of the best.
Thanks for making it special.
Things aren't so bad after all.
So, we're on the same page then? Uh, sure? Hmm? Uh Oh, ow! What was that? "What was that?" I can't believe you! I kiss you and all you say is "Ow"? Wait, you did what now? I have to go.
Roxy, wait! Please stop! Roxy! Roxy! Roxy! Aaah! It's all right.
That's what insurance is for.
Come on, Roxy.
Where are you? Roxy! Roxy, wait! Who-o-o-o-a-a-a-a! Aaah! Benson! As long as we keep it under light-speed, that should hold.
Look, Roxy, about earlier, I'm really sorry.
It's okay.
I get it.
No, I just want you to know it's not about you.
You're a really cool girl, and, honestly, I think you're great but See, the whole reason I wanted fries was to try to feel better because because my girlfriend dumped me this morning.
Oh, Benson.
It's not the first time I've been dumped or the second or the third.
It's happened a lot.
I mean, Dumptown is a place, and I've been there Roxy.
It still hurts and, well, I'm kind of a mess right now.
I hope you understand.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what we need? French fries.
Oh, we forgot the salt.
No, we didn't.
My secret ingredient butt salt.
Oh, wow.
Those are great fries! Feel better? I do.
Me too.
Mmm.
This is so good! Oh, here comes the best part! Hey, Roxy, are you smiling?
We are talking! Ooh! Want to hear how many push-ups I did at training today? No, we need to really talk.
Oh.
Okay.
This this isn't working for me anymore.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Benson, you're a great guy, but, I have no idea when you're coming back, or or if you're coming back.
Sure, sure.
You know, statistically, the further away two mates are from each other, the less likely it is that their relationship will last.
I've done the calculations, and our odds are only 1.
35%.
Mm-hmm.
I'm I'm sorry, Benson.
It's not you, it's just math.
I think we should just be friends.
I get it.
I was sent millions of miles into space against my will, you're back on Earth.
Are you sure you're okay? I totally understand.
I am go-o-od.
Pa-a-a-m! Why?! No-o-o-o.
Okay, okay, okay.
My turn.
Hmm? Hmm-hmm? Would you rather have spaghetti for fingers or have spiders crawl out of your mouth every time you yawn? Hmm.
That's a good one.
If I eat my spaghetti fingers, do they grow back? Yeah, but they're whole wheat pasta.
Aw! Sick dude! Well in that case, I got to go with Uh Mm Uh-oh.
Um, hey, buddy.
Everything okay, man? No.
Pam dumped me.
I've been eating all these wings, but they're not making me feel any better.
Hey, wait, didn't you and Pam eat wings on your first date? Oh, no! That's why they're not working! They're just making me think about Pam! Whoa, whoa! Forget about wings! Yeah, these space wings are whack anyways.
We know what'll make you feel better.
What? Um Um Frrrri Frrrrii Fries! Fries? Crispy, delicious fries.
I'm talking curly! Criss-cut! Wedge-cut.
Crinkle-cut!! Shoe-string! Artisanal salt, yo! Yeah! Fries will fill the void in my soul! Whew! We really dodged a bullet on that one.
Where can I find fries? Wedge-cut, criss-cut, crinkle-cut, wedge-cut, criss-cut, crinkle-cut, shoe-strings.
I think I'm starting to feel better alread Oh, my gosh! It was a hit and run! That ice cream truck guy just took off! Are you okay? Huh? Where am I? Who are you? I'm Roxy, and you're in my fry truck.
Great! I'm Benson.
Can I get an order of fries? I'm sorry, but we sold out in, like, 10 minutes.
Got to kick you out.
I'm about to go on a supply run.
Ugh, typical.
The saddest day of my life, then I get hit by a truck, and now I can't even get fries.
Why did I think fries could make me happy again? This was dumb.
Sorry to bother you, Roxy.
Or if you want to tag along with me on my supply run, I can make you a fresh batch when I'm done.
Really? You'd do that for me? My fries are the best in the galaxy, Benson.
We're gonna turn that frown upside down.
Wait, are you smiling? Yep.
"Roxy's Fries" Guaranteed to put a smile on your face!" All right.
So, we're just going for a quick grocery store run or something? Not if you want the good stuff.
This is the potato planet mine.
For the good stuff, we got it go way down there to the bottom.
You sure we can't just go to the grocery store? Hey, there's a reason my fries are the best in the galaxy.
Come on! Ow! That kind of hurt.
So, what do we do now? Now we dig.
You're the boss.
Whew! This is actually kind of fun! I think I see a smile coming on.
Oh, no! Potato bugs! Run! Aaaaaaah! I just want some fries! I'm trying to get through a rough day, and I don't have time for this right now! Benson! Help me! Aah! Roxy! Are you okay? II think so.
Good.
We better get out of here.
I can't believe you did that.
Okay, we got potato.
What's next? Um, right! Uh, we need oil.
Okay.
Barrel's in place.
Great.
I'll open the valve.
Oh, here.
I'll get that.
Thanks! I guess chivalry isn't dead.
So, if you want to talk about your bad day, you can.
I can offer a shoulder to cry on.
I mean Well, not literally, but Uh, thanks.
I guess it's just hard being single and in space.
I'm single and in space, too! So, um, do you have any hobbies? Well, I used to be a drummer in a rock band.
Oh.
A rock band? Oh, yeah, back in the day, I was all, "Two-three-four doon-doon-dat, doon-doon-dat!" Bubba-dubba-dubba-dubba, doon-doon-dat! Doon-doon-dat, pshhh! Huh? Benson, you goo oof? Mm.
Oh, yeah.
That's better.
Whew! So, where to next? Uh, we got to cut the potatoes.
Uh Uh Roxy? Hey, Roxy? Earth to Roxy! Everything okay? Oh! Uh Sorry! I, ah I um, I've got to go make a phone call.
Excuse me! Come on, come on Roxy! Hey, girl! Crystal! Listen, I I need some advice.
Ooh, I know what that means.
You have a crush.
Oh, well, yeah.
Is he cut? How many karats is he? Well, that's the thing.
He's, uh Oh, boy He's an organic.
Get out! An organic? The ultimate taboo.
I don't know if he's into me.
I-I always mess this kind of thing up.
Roxy, quit worrying so much.
You're a stone-cold rox! Stop being such a pebble and be boulder.
Flirt with him a bit.
Take him to the most romantic place in the universe.
You got this, girl! Uhh, I got to roll, Rox.
It's like a quarry out here.
Crystal, you are a gem.
Thanks! Hey, Slater, wait up! Oh, hey.
Sorry about that.
Wow, you cut those fast.
You know, you're pretty good at this.
Yeah? Are you hiring? Yeah! Maybe we should go into business together.
What do you say? You want to be be my sous-chef? Oh, my gosh! Are you okay? Whoa, this place is awesome, Roxy.
Oh, yeah! I must have forgot this was here.
It's amazing.
Roxy Mm-hmm? This day started off being one of the worst days of my life, but you made it into one of the best.
Thanks for making it special.
Things aren't so bad after all.
So, we're on the same page then? Uh, sure? Hmm? Uh Oh, ow! What was that? "What was that?" I can't believe you! I kiss you and all you say is "Ow"? Wait, you did what now? I have to go.
Roxy, wait! Please stop! Roxy! Roxy! Roxy! Aaah! It's all right.
That's what insurance is for.
Come on, Roxy.
Where are you? Roxy! Roxy, wait! Who-o-o-o-a-a-a-a! Aaah! Benson! As long as we keep it under light-speed, that should hold.
Look, Roxy, about earlier, I'm really sorry.
It's okay.
I get it.
No, I just want you to know it's not about you.
You're a really cool girl, and, honestly, I think you're great but See, the whole reason I wanted fries was to try to feel better because because my girlfriend dumped me this morning.
Oh, Benson.
It's not the first time I've been dumped or the second or the third.
It's happened a lot.
I mean, Dumptown is a place, and I've been there Roxy.
It still hurts and, well, I'm kind of a mess right now.
I hope you understand.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what we need? French fries.
Oh, we forgot the salt.
No, we didn't.
My secret ingredient butt salt.
Oh, wow.
Those are great fries! Feel better? I do.
Me too.
Mmm.
This is so good! Oh, here comes the best part! Hey, Roxy, are you smiling?