Futurama s08e10 Episode Script

1
- Spectacular, isn't it?
- Probably! What is it?
I've created a simulation
of the entire universe!
- Oh! In that case, it stinks.
- I keep forgetting, Professor.
- Are we in the entire universe?
- Why, naturally!
Good news, everyone!
We've got a delivery!
But first, roll call!
- Leela?
- Here.
- Fry?
- Present!
- Scruffy?
- Yep.
- Hermes?
- Check.
Bender?
Bite my shiny middle pixel!
- Amy?
- Shmobviously.
And the rest.
Hooray!
I'm an unnamed member of the group!
That's amazing, Professor!
How'd you make it so crummy?
It wasn't easy.
Even to achieve this level of realism
requires vast amounts of computing power.
My Simputron uses more electricity
than 100 bug zappers.
Which reminds me,
I had to unplug our bug zappers.
- Ow!
- Got him!
The mosquito is still alive.
There's a mosquito?
Listen up, threeple!
Today, you'll be delivering
this package to Space Italy.
- Space Italy?
- I know, it's an embarrassingly lazy name.
But when you're creating
an entire universe from scratch,
you can't make up a believable
name for everything.
Sometimes, you just have
to go with "Space Italy"
or "the Robot Planet"
or "Dr. Zoidberg."
Preposterous.
Wow, Space Italy!
You delivering that package, Bender?
Up all those steps?
No grazie.
I'll just chuck it into Trevi Fountain
for good luck.
Ooh!
Papa pia!
He hit-a the Space Pope!
You're under arrest
for-a bonking His Holiness.
I tell-a you,
this-a Planet Express company
is a real two-bit operation, eh?
More like three!
So, um, as long as we're here,
wanna see the sights?
When in Space Rome
Michelangelo's David! So lifelike!
Jeez, Dave! Get a fig leaf!
La la la! ♪
La la la! ♪
La la la ♪
I just can't understand
how it doesn't fall dow
Let me give you a han
Oh, mama, they're goin' at it
like two packs of gum!
Bender, give us a little privacy.
Aw
So, do those people in the casserole
know they're in a simulation,
- or do they think that they're real?
- Of course, they think they're real.
To them, the rules of my software
are just their laws of physics.
But, we think we're real.
Couldn't our universe
also be a simulation?
Absolutely not!
No chance.
- The very idea is preposterous!
- How can you be so sure?
Because it's computationally impossible!
For example, every atom in the universe
is affected whenever
one little thing moves.
Like my ass?
Oh yeah! Come on!
That's a perfect example, Bender,
and some pretty decent twerking.
My software can't possibly
compute the gravitational changes
between Bender's ass
and every other particle,
so I had to have the information
travel outward gradually,
at a fixed speed.
- Like the speed of light in our universe?
- Right!
Oh, fuff. That's just a coincidence.
I had to cut other corners, too.
I mean, my simulation
doesn't even keep track
of exactly where everything is.
Takin' all bets!
Find the ball, win me not punching you!
My last $5 on cup number one!
In fact, make it my last $10!
Another convenient example.
My lazy software wouldn't even
decide which cup the ball's in
until someone actually looked at it.
Until then, it's just sort of in both.
So your programming shortcut
- is like quantum mechanics in our world?
- Exactly like that!
Hm, interesting.
I guess what I'm trying to say is
our universe is probably
also a simulation.
But that's the exact opposite
of what you said one minute ago!
New evidence was presented
and I changed my mind.
I'm a scientist, not a
- Idiot?
- politician.
Man. Imagine how awful it would be
to find out your whole personality
was just simulated,
like Bender's.
Whuzzulated? Like whozer's?
I just mean you're
an artificial intelligence, Bender.
Like the people in
the Professor's simulation.
- Artificial?
- Uh-huh. Yep.
Why'd you have to tell me?
You just ruined my life!
My big fat fake life!
- You're a walking bucket!
- How can you say I'm not real?!
If you prick me, do I not bleed?
Okay, that was a bad example!
Ow! I'm bleeding!
- Showoff.
- There, there, Bender.
You're as real as any of us.
The philosopher René Descartes said,
"I think, therefore I am."
- Can you think?
- I don't think so!
I think I might not be able to think!
Anyway, it was a fun little universe,
but we're looking at
a Godzilla-sized electric bill.
It's time to shut it down.
But, you can't just turn them off!
That would be like turning me off!
Good idea! That'll save even more power!
But we'll start with them.
No
no
The plug is stuck.
Or maybe I'm just extraordinarily weak.
That is a possibility.
Oh, bother. I'll just keep
the simulation running a little longer.
Thanks, Professor!
Bender, how were you leaping
through the air that entire time?
I wasn't!
My first leap missed by a mile,
so I leapt again.
But I never stopped
screaming for a second!
I feel like I've been
in existence for a while now, Leela.
So it's time I set myself a life's goal.
That's a great idea!
I'll be quiet and let you think.
And I'll turn on the TV
to drown out any distracting noises.
That's it!
I found my life's goal!
I, Philip J. Fry, hereby pledge
to watch every TV show ever made.
Oh Lord.
That orange guy sure is dumb.
These innocent bit bags
may be artificial,
like me,
but they don't know that!
They deserve the same respect
as any other living creature.
Except clams!
To hell with clams!
I'm telling you they're nothing
but ones and zeros!
They're no more alive
than the number 10101.
She was my aunt!
- Professor, I think Bender might be right.
- No, you don't!
I mean, we're nothing
more than atoms, right?
But, somehow, we are more.
Unlike clams!
Professor, I will now ask of you
a solemn promise.
- Now, the feet.
- Forget the feet!
Alright, whatever.
Why are we in a robot strip club?
Because we had to do this in a place
that's meaningful to me!
Bender!
Here you go, hun.
- Keep the change, toots.
- Ow!
Let the solemn ceremony begin.
Professor, you created a world
of conscious living beings,
so now you're responsible for them.
I want you to swear you'll do
everything in your power
to keep them alive.
I barely make any effort
to keep myself alive.
- Oof!
- Professor!
And you'll never let them know
they're not real! Never!
So they won't have to go through
what I'm going through!
I swear nothing!
I said swear it!
Very well. I swear it.
But the amount of electricity
Why, we'd basically need our
own hydroelectric generator.
I really don't think
there's any possible
Eureka!
As you all know,
I do my best thinking on the toilet.
We know! Stop telling us!
I didn't even have to go.
I was just sitting here,
wiling away a Sunday afternoon,
when suddenly, it hit me!
A new source of electricity!
Would you care to
tell us about it
- in another room?
- No!
According to these old maps,
which I use in lieu of toilet paper
Ew!
the main New New York sewer line
runs directly under Planet Express.
We'll simply drill into the pipe,
drop this turbine into the torrent,
and voila!
Free clean power!
- Clean?
- Oh my, no.
We're approaching the main pipeline.
Can you imagine the quantity
- of sewage running through there?
- Yes!
Contact in four! Three!
Number two!
Let's rarely speak of that again.
This should generate enough power
to keep the simulation running.
And it's substantially higher resolution!
Let's see how my guys are doing.
Good news, everyone!
We have a delivery to the King of Space.
Aw, they're so cute!
Now I care about them!
Happy, Bender?
We saved your little friends.
I sure did.
In other news,
I've made a huge breakthrough!
- What is it, Professor?
- No, him.
- What is it, Professor?
- After many sleepless nights
and an equal number of
glorious sleep-filled days,
I've completed my greatest achievement!
A simulation of our entire universe!
Good news, everyone!
We have a delivery to Space Italy!
Sweet facsimile of Space Italy!
- A simulation
- Within a simulation!?
- Where does it all end?
- Hopefully there.
Already my head hurts.
Professor, if you can make
a whole simulated universe,
isn't it possible that our own universe
- is also a simulation?
- Absolutely not!
You sound like a stoned freshman!
I mean, what if our laws of physics
are just the computer code
of some big brilliant professor
playing god up there?
Nailed it!
Hm. Quantum mechanics is pretty
ridiculous, but it's a moot point.
Even if we are living in a simulation,
there's no possible way of knowing.
Yes?
Oh, nothing.
I just had a loogie in my throat.
Possibly a simulated loogie.
What's that? A g-g-g-grid overload?
My simulation is drawing
a lot of power for some reason.
Ah! It appears two black holes
just collided in there.
Can you imagine how complex
that computation is?
The Simputron is really
straining to keep up.
Oh, my glorsh!
Maybe there is a way to find out
if we live in a simulation.
- Well, I doubt that.
- Double doubt it!
If our universe is a simulation,
then it's running on some
- kind of computer, right?
- I'm with you so far.
Actually, I'm not.
Is this about a new soda?
Suppose we made something
happen that was impossible
for that big computer to simulate.
- It would overload!
- Exactly!
Cool! And then what?
I don't know! Probably stuff
would pixelate and look weird!
The laws of physics would fail!
Like playing a new video game
on a crummy underpowered game system!
- Precisely!
- That my cheapskate grandma got me.
Some phenomena are so wildly complex
that they'd be impossible
for any computer to simulate.
For example, a collapsing magnetic star
or magnetar.
But such an event might not happen
for millions of years.
But, what if we intentionally caused
a magnetar to collapse?
Then, we could just watch
and see if the universe glitches out.
Of course!
And we'd know once and for all
if we're living in a simulation.
Although, I'm not sure
I wanna know the answer to that.
Me neither.
I like resting secure in the knowledge
that I'm the real deal.
Guess again, loser.
Let's put it to a vote.
Who here wants to test
if we're living in a simulation?
And who would rather continue living
in shameful ignorance?
That one!
You all voted for two things.
Honestly. I wanna know
if I'm not living in a simulation,
but not if I am.
Does that make sense?
Surprisingly, yes.
Let's just forget about it.
Although, now we're
always gonna be wondering.
Let's just go.
Uh-oh. Not good.
Not good at all.
My half-baked software
absolutely will not be able
to simulate a collapsing magnetar.
Oh, I never should have outsourced it
to that Indian middle schooler.
But, the simulations will
find out they're simulations!
You swore a strip club oath
that would never happen.
Alas, there'll be no hiding the truth
when they see that magnetar glitching out
like a big flaming ball of Microsoft Word.
Well,
if they're gonna find out anyway,
I should be the one to tell them.
I'm the only one who truly understands!
Plus, I like delivering bad news.
Actually, that might be possible.
Since you're basically just software
in a greasy wad of aluminum foil
Aw
I could extract your programming,
compress it,
and inject it into Simulated Bender.
You'd take his place
in the simulated world.
But what would happen to him?
He'd be pushed through
to the sub-simulation.
And that Bender?
It's Benders all the way down.
Alright. I'm going in.
I must warn you, Bender.
It'll be a one-way trip.
There's no way of returning.
That's okay.
I don't wanna live in a world
where I'm less real than everyone else.
Those are my people in there,
in Baloney Town.
Ooh!
In a few minutes, you should reboot
in the simulated world
as Simulated Bender.
Or you might die.
Goodbye,
precious friends and coworkers.
Goodbye, sewage-stained floor tiles.
Goodbye, Zoidberg.
How will I go on without you?
I'll get a broom.
Holding outside
magnetar implosion range.
We'll be safe at this distance,
even if, God forbid, we're real.
Then it's time to put
reality to the test.
- I'm scared!
- I am, too.
But it's actually kind of beautiful.
Would it be any less beautiful
if it weren't real?
- And we weren't real?
- We'll find out soon enough.
Begin monopole bombardment!
You okay, buddy?
No!
Probably a bad clam.
I think I'm gonna reboot!
Oh
- Where Where am I?
- You're right here, Bender.
- Just outside magnetar implosion range.
- Oh Right.
Baloney Town.
Guys? I have something to tell you,
and it'll be the hardest bad news
I've ever had the pleasure of delivering.
Shush, Bender!
We're about to find out
if we're living in a simulation!
Right It-it's about that. See
I've been thinking
about that, too, actually.
And you wanna know what I think?
- Do I!
- I think it makes no difference at all.
Either way, the laws of the universe
are way beyond our control.
So, what can we do?
We just make the best of it.
I don't know what we're about to see,
Leela, but I love you.
Now and forever.
And that much is real,
even if we're not.
Hm The dummy's right.
I feel, therefore I am.
- It doesn't matter if I'm real?
- Not one bit.
- So what did you wanna tell us, robot?
- Just thank you!
That's robots for you.
Now, let's sit back and enjoy the show.
Oh, lordy-loo.
The magnetar is about to pop!
How's the Simputron holding up?
Processor overload!
The cooling fan's on fire!
Whoa!
Pull the plug! Stop the simulation!
No! Bender's in there!
There's no choice.
This building's about to go up in smoke,
and I've got doomsday devices hidden
in every nook and cranny.
I'm sorry, buddy.
I know you can't hear me,
but we tried our best.
At least you got to go out with dignity.
Rebooting.
- Where Where am I?
- Right here, in the universe.
Oh I had to
come tell you something
Bender? How did you
possibly manage to come back?
Don't be rude, Professor,
Bender was speaking first.
- What did you wanna tell us, robot?
- It's just that
I know how to save the simulation.
Oh, please. There's no possible
Eureka!
I made the change you suggested, Bender.
Although it took a lot of toilet time
to fully comprehend.
We won't need nearly so much power
now that I've under-clocked the processor.
- But, won't the simulation run slower?
- Oh, much slower.
Are we talking regular slow
or bureaucrat slow?
Infinitely slower than that.
- So they'll be in, like, a coma?
- Oh my, no!
They'll never notice any difference.
But while they live out
one second of their lives,
years, if not centuries, will pass for us.
Aw, then I guess we won't get
to spy on them anymore.
Spy all you like.
- But it's about to get very, very boring.
- Not for them.
Pixels
To make it real, really real ♪
She says ♪
You just have to be here ♪
On this satellite ♪
Satellite ♪
Had to be here ♪
On this satellite ♪
Satellite ♪
Had to be here ♪
On this satellite ♪
Had to be here ♪
On this satellite ♪