Black-ish (2014) s08e11 Episode Script

The American Dream says that, with hard work, where you started doesn't have to be where you finish.
Generations build on the success of the ones that came before.
The goal is to make a better, more prosperous future for your children.
It's what my folks did for me.
My pops worked odd jobs, but he made sure the lights were always on.
And my mother worked overtime at the post office to make sure that I could get the best education.
There were some bumps, but they did their part to make sure I had it better than they did.
And I know that everything I have is because of them.
It's why I'm so glad to have them under our roof.
Oh, my God.
What did I just bite into? That's, uh, vegan buttermilk chicken.
Hell to the no.
Earl, step in and give them the news before I start yelling.
Okay, y'all.
Listen up.
Okay.
- Ruby and I - Mm-hmm.
are moving out.
Hallelujah! It's never gonna be the same without you.
We got love for y'all.
- Y'all know that.
- Yes.
But the open road is calling.
Mm-hmm.
So it's time for us to get on the good foot - Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
- and on to our next adventure.
That's why we bought an RV.
I bet you $100 that RV's on fire by the side of the road in 10 weeks.
Nah, wedged in a Bible Belt Hardee's drive-thru by June.
Oh, I could see that, too.
- Mm-hmm.
- Wow! You guys in an RV? It is so exciting.
You know, when my parents were in their RV, I did not hear from them for, like, months.
Like, almost a yea I did T they didn't call me.
I didn't call them.
They were just off the grid.
Yeah, like, what do you guys even have planned? Well, we're gonna visit the 38 states - we don't have bench warrants in.
- Mm-hmm.
Maybe even put the RV on a riverboat.
- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm.
And then take it down the Mississipp'.
Mm-hmm.
And I've always wanted to head up to Motown to see the parking lot where the Holland brothers pulled a gun on Smokey Robinson.
- Wow.
Heard about that.
Heard about that.
- Sure did.
Point is, we've got years of seeing this country ahead of us.
- Nowhere to be and no time to be there.
- Hey! Well, I am happy for you guys.
You may have not noticed it because my muscle gains haven't started to come in yet, but I'm on a bit of a personal journey myself.
- Oh, because your girlfriend dumped you? - Ah.
No, because I realized that my body is a machine and to keep it up to par, I have to make sure that I'm about that gym life.
Okay, look, I-I know you guys really want to do this, but I got used to you being here.
You know, it's It's not gonna be the same.
Never.
It's never, never, never gonna be the same again.
Like, never.
So, you guys have, um Do you have a plan? Like, is there a specific date or time? Well, yeah, but not until we get our ducks in a row.
- It won't take long.
- Yes.
- We got matching julep cups.
- Shut up.
So we are not missing the Kentucky Derby.
Enough spilling our secrets, Earl.
All right.
That's one thing I won't miss.
This whole house of people knowing our business.
Then why do you shave your legs by the pool? Hey.
Since I been doing that, our gardeners have been paying us.
- Oh.
- Now how about we throw out all this slop, and I'll make you some real chicken and biscuits, eh? - Mm.
- Eh? Oh, well, if that's okay with you, Rainbow.
Oh, that's just fine.
Got my dinner right here.
After Bow had celebrated the Gods opening a window, she found they were also shutting a door.
What the ? Oh, my God.
Okay.
- Bow, what's going on? - I'm soaking wet.
- What? - Oh, my God.
No.
I'm soaking wet.
Babe, be honest.
What? Did you pee the bed? You can tell me.
No, Dre, I did not.
I think these are night sweats.
Okay.
I believe that I'm going through perimenopause.
I am perimenopausing.
I always want to help my wife, but I'm a smart enough man to know when I'm in over my head and it's time to call in reinforcements.
Mom! My daughter, the winds whispered to me about an important milestone on your menses journey.
Oh.
And I texted you.
Yes, always nice to get a midnight text saying, "Your daughter's body's breaking down.
" Well, come on in, Alicia.
- Yeah.
- Come on in.
And give us two secs.
I just want to talk to talk to Dre for a second.
- Uh-huh.
- Come here, honey.
Yeah? So you willingly invited my mom into our house? Well, look, babe, I-I thought it would be good to have someone with experience around - to help with the perimenopause.
- Mm-hmm.
Which is the beginning of menopause, all right? During which time your ovaries are producing less estrogen.
I know what perimenopause is, Dre.
Okay, well, you know, I just wanted to show you my work, okay? Before I handed you off to your mom.
And now that I've gotten my credit, - I'm done.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Hi, Mom.
- Okay.
- Hi, hi, hi.
You really did not need to come.
You're going through one of the great transitions of life.
You've been driven by the moon for decades.
Now the time has come for you to become your own moon driver.
Mom, it is a hormonal shift, and I've got it all handled.
- Promise.
- Okay, I'll follow your lead.
But I may sprinkle a little maca powder on your tongue while you sleep.
- Okay.
- Mm.
I don't think that'll do anything, but you can sprinkle.
No, Mama, my house is not a storage unit.
Okay.
Goodbye, Mama.
Okay, Dre.
What's happening? What's going on? Oh, don't tell me.
They discontinued your beard sheen.
- No.
- Oh.
My moms and pops are moving out.
What? Are they looking for an unlicensed moving company? I know a guy.
Me.
Charlie Telphy.
No, Charlie, I think they're good.
They bought an RV, and they are going out to see America.
- Wow.
- That's exciting, Dre.
They're cashing in on the dreams that they delayed while they they served others.
That is the proper middle-class third-act retirement move.
You know, I've been planning my next act since I was 12.
When I retire, I want to open a B&B on the East Coast.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'll cook.
I'll host.
It'll be like having a new family every weekend.
Ironic, because a revolving door of new families is my plan, too.
In my retirement, I plan on telling White people I played for a Negro league.
Tell them my name is something like "Corn Cob Robinson" to see if they'd buy me a drink.
That's your plan? Yeah, you're right.
Stove Pipe Jackson.
- Better name, right? - That's I've never really thought about retirement, - but I'm pretty sure I'd be good at it.
- Hmm.
Shuffleboard, cruises, golfing, following Wu-Tang around the world until there are no original members left.
Now, that is Dre time.
Okay, Dre, I'm sorry.
I find it hilarious that you actually think you're going to retire.
You have an infant, man.
- So? - "So?" You're not about to stop working, Dre.
You've got two decades of private school, braces, and college to pay for.
Then Dre time? Maybe.
Assuming they're successful and they can take care of themselves.
Dre, you've got five kids, okay? One of them is gonna be a Tito.
This is a good time to mention that if me and my bride have any "oops" babies, - you will be raising them.
- What? You better settle in, buddy, because, uh, whether it's natural causes or foul play, you are gonna die here.
Yeah.
Those guys were just trying to get in my head.
I'm good.
I've saved money I think.
S still, I've got this under control.
They can't tell me nothing.
Excuse me.
I think you're sitting in my seat.
I gotta stay on my grind.
Jack needs money for ninja college.
Oh.
Ohh.
Ahh.
Still sweaty.
Hey, baby.
You want some pancakes? Well, not unless it's gonna make me feel any better about the fact that I'm gonna die at my desk.
That's actually not a bad place to go, son.
The janitor just wheels you out.
No muss, no fuss.
Yeah.
All right, well, you guys have a good one.
Hey, hey.
Who wants breakfast? Grandma, are you okay? What? I'm just cooking breakfast.
Now, listen.
I ran out of blueberries, so some of those pancakes have raisins, and some have gummy vitamins.
Oh.
I tell you what, I'm not gonna miss doing all this work when I'm gone.
- When did you ever do this before? - Yeah.
See, Earl? They don't appreciate me.
Y'all better appreciate this woman.
We gonna be having pancakes on the road pretty soon anyway, baby.
No pancakes for me.
My trainer, Uric, will kill me if he smells grain on my breath.
Gotta keep it keto for the guns.
Look at this one, all greedy.
Enjoy that last plate of grandma bacon.
This is why I'm never coming back.
Whoa, just because you move doesn't mean you gotta stay gone.
Yeah, you saw Junior when he moved out.
I mean, he kept a toothbrush in all three bathrooms.
Mm.
Every time you take a sip of soda, you're only nine minutes away from a cavity.
Remember that.
I'm sorry, baby, but our time living here is done.
I'm trying to see Miami before it's underwater.
Oh, yeah.
You don't want to be in town after the gators take over.
Oh, no.
The thought of staying in the rat race until I die took a lot of joy out of coming into the office.
- Hey! - Oh, Dre! You work upstairs.
What are you doing down here? Oh, I know.
Too shy to poop around your new friends? - Yeah.
- What? No.
- Oh.
- Hey, when you guys look ahead and see, uh, an endless loop of sitting in traffic and pitching ads and sucking up to clients until one day, they lower you in the earth, do you ever think, "Is this all there is?" - What? - Are you kidding? I love work.
We've got dream jobs, Dre.
Yeah, advertising is the best job in the world, - and I've had a lot of them.
- Mm.
Ditch-digger.
Clam-digger.
Amateur Russian Rouletter which, of course, leads to grave-digging, which leads to grave robbery, which led to me finding a wallet with Leslie Stevens' business card inside of it, and then here I am in advertising.
Dre, this is an amazing job.
All you got to do is show up, sit in comfortable chairs, - and come up with ideas.
- That's right.
Do you have any idea how much blood my housekeeper has to clean up? Oh, one summer, I cleaned up a lot of blood on the Vineyard.
Second-best job I ever had.
This is the first.
- Right, right.
- Yeah, yeah.
You guys are right.
We have the best jobs in the world.
Who needs to sit and feed pigeons in a park? - Exactly.
- Do you know what? We are living the dream, - and I'm not slowing down now.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna continue to boss up.
- Thanks, fellas.
- Yeah! Yeah! That's the attitude, Dre.
I'm telling you guys, this is the greatest gig in the world.
- Absolutely.
- Isn't it, though? But you're still gonna call me if your housekeeper calls in sick, right? Every day, more and more, we become like the robots that we fear.
Oh, no.
I'm just monitoring my heart rate, Mom.
I'm trying to understand what's going on with my body.
A friend of mine told me that I might experience heart palpitations.
Oh, Rainbow, I'm so sorry.
Would it help if I walked around you in a circle three times and sang a hymn to Gaia? No.
No, I don't think so.
- Ah.
- I'm just so frustrated.
There's no information, Mom.
There's more information about deep-sea sharks than there is about perimenopause.
50% of the population goes through this, and there's no information.
Ridiculous.
Perhaps the problem is that you're looking for information out there when you should be looking for information there.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
'Cause my body Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
My body just feels like a foreign place, and I Oh, God.
- Oh, God.
- H heart palpations? - I'm getting hot.
- I'll get the bells.
No, no, I don't want bells, Mom.
I need to get out of the jacket.
Oh, God! Here it comes! Oh, my God, it's like a summer.
Oh! Oh, take it off! Take it off! Take it! While Bow was trying to turn down the heat, my whole perspective had changed.
I was crushing it at work.
Old Steed Whiskey.
Why show when you can win? - Hey, there he is.
- Hey.
- Wow, that was amazing.
- Mm-hmm.
They want us for print and TV.
You were on a whole other level in there.
Where's that guy been? Aw, hey, man.
I'm just blessed to be here.
And if this is what I'm meant to do for the next 20 years, - I'm okay with it.
- Hell, make it 30 years.
40 years! 50 years! I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with it.
We get it.
You're okay with it.
Yeah.
I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with it.
I'm okay with it.
Dre.
Dre.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, sorry, Pops.
What's up? I said, "Is it cool if we take your fancy monogrammed luggage, for our trip?" I want everybody to know that we are RV people by choice.
Yeah, yeah.
It's cool.
Do what you gotta do.
For real? What about your nice winter coat with the fur lining? Take it.
I'm not going anywhere.
Boy, you wouldn't give water to a whale.
I'm a little mistrustful of all this generosity you making with.
Now, what's wrong with you, Dre? I don't know, Pops.
I'm just having a hard time.
Where I am in life, it's hard to pivot.
All right? Every decision feels more permanent, and I'm heading to place where I have more good days behind me than ahead of me.
So do I keep doing mayonnaise ads until I have one foot in the grave? - I don't think so.
- Oh, man.
See, we all been there.
I get it.
Yeah, Pops? Oh, yeah.
Now, you want my advice? I do.
Suck it up.
What? You a man.
You got responsibilities.
You got to keep a roof over your head and put food on the table.
You don't have time to be mooning around the house, lending out luggage to people who are not gonna return it.
I get that, Pops.
I just feel lost right now.
Oh, congratulations, Dre.
You're the first Black man to ever feel lost.
Need to get your ass out there and play through.
Understood? - Yes, sir.
- Good.
Also I'm taking all your frozen steaks and your good cooler, 'cause that's the least you can give me for all this good advice.
Oh, my God.
What the hell are you doing? This sweating is killing me, Ruby! I'm trying to manage this perimenopause.
I'm so over it.
I'm over it uh.
You know what? If you repeat a word I'm about to say, I'll deny it.
- Okay.
- You hear me? Yeah.
I've gone through menopause.
- Yeah, I I I know.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, menopause sucks.
- Yes.
Your body spends decades growing and taking care of life, and then Mother Nature thanks you with hot flashes and mood swings.
Oh, let me tell you something, Ruby.
I ran for three miles after an ice cream truck today, and then I punched a dent into the side of it because they told me that they didn't have any more Tutti Frutti.
It was not one of my finest moments.
Oh, honey.
That's nothing.
One time I had a hot flash sitting there, - waiting to get a bank loan.
- Hmm.
I started tearing my clothes off like a Vegas showgirl.
Oh, God.
- Hey, but it's not all bad.
- Mm.
Because now, all of this is yours again.
Think, when was the last time your breasts belonged to you and you alone? Ooh, it's been a minute.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yep.
And you can finally ask yourself, "What does Rainbow Johnson want to do?" - Huh.
- It's your time now.
Oh, I really like the sound of that.
It's my time.
You know, Rainbow, I made a conscious decision to spend my time here watching my grandbabies grow up.
And it's been the best seven years of my life.
Mm.
Thank you for blessing me with that opportunity.
Oh, Ruby, of course.
- Of course.
- Hmm.
- Thank you for what you just said.
- Mm.
It was really helpful.
And thank you for always being here for us.
But I am gonna miss you, Rainbow.
I'm gonna miss all of you.
Aww, Ruby.
I'm gonna miss you, too.
It's okay if the idea of change makes you a little sad, but there are good things that can come from it.
Hey, hey, hey.
I got you a little going-away something.
- Mm.
- Okay.
- Uh - Mittens.
Homemade mittens.
I stayed up all night making these because I wanted to make sure you have something to remember me by.
Yeah, totally.
These will be great reminders of how salty you've been to us all week.
- Yeah.
- All right, all right.
I admit, I haven't been my normal cheery self lately, but it was just a defense because I realized how much I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss Diane's smart mouth.
I'm gonna miss Jack's smart nothing.
Is this more pushing us away? I'm even gonna miss Junior getting angry when I ask him to print out my e-mails.
It defeats the purpose of electronic mail.
Well, if you're gonna miss all those things, you don't have to go.
We do, baby.
It's time for your grandfather and I to start our new chapter.
Now, that doesn't mean we haven't loved our life here, okay? I-I can't even remember a time when you didn't live with us.
Hey.
Watching you all grow up has been the greatest joy of my life.
I wouldn't trade a single second of it.
Us, either.
Come here.
Come on.
Come here.
Come to Grandma.
Come here.
Aww! Yes! Okay, okay.
Hold on, now.
I got something for you, too.
Oh, Earl.
- Junior.
- Thank you.
There you go, Diane.
Okay.
20 bucks? Well, I didn't plan this, but your grandma's being so nice, I couldn't just stand there like a jerk.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Mine's only a 10.
- Let me see that.
- Yeah.
Yep.
Now it's nothing.
- What? - See, I'm not gonna miss this.
That's on you.
- That's what you get.
- Mm.
Maybe my change wasn't going to be as dramatic as Bow's or my folks', and maybe Pops was right about what I had to do keep my head down and gut it out.
Hey.
I'm not feeling so great.
I'm gonna need to take the day.
Thanks.
The only problem was, I couldn't do it.
Jack, I feel terrible that I was here to mark Diane's transition into womanhood, but I wasn't able to do the same when you hit puberty.
You know, I can honestly say that I didn't think about it.
You weren't here to mark mine, either.
Yes, but you became quite the man on your own.
She noticed the gains.
Now let us mark the transition.
Jack are you ready to step through the door of childish things and claim the fullness of your adulthood? Uh, sure.
Let me blow the horn.
You know, I started running a bath I don't know how long ago, so Oh, no, young man.
The path to adulthood is marked with blood.
You know what? I I can definitely hear that tub overflowing right now.
Um Give me the knife.
I'll get you that blood.