Will and Grace s08e12 Episode Script

This doesn't happen very often, does it? The two of us, just hanging out.
I know.
It's weird, isn't it? Let's make sure it never happens again.
Absolutely.
- Hey, guys.
- Oh, thank God! A large coffee.
Will.
All of the charitable work you've been doing for the Coalition for Justice has inspired me.
I have volunteered to decorate a nursing home in Brooklyn.
Thank you.
I realized I haven't done anything charitable since I helped feed the homeless.
You threw Skittles at a whino.
He ate them, didn't he? But seriously, I'm very proud of you.
I'm glad you're volunteering.
This is nice, isn't it? Just the three of us, hanging out.
- Hey, guys.
- Oh, thank God! Nice day out, huh? Well, I gotta take the subway to work.
It's gonna take forever to get downtown, but I have to help my friend Bill.
Bill of rights.
Uh, maybe you didn't hear me, but I said Jack, are you okay? I sick.
With the Evian flu.
I shared a bottle of Evian with a stranger at the gym.
Honey, if you're sick, you should come stay at the manse for a couple of days.
It'd be fun, I could take care of you.
You know, chicken soup, and comfy blankets, and leeches.
Hey, we could raid my collection of old movies of the week! Oh, I love old movies of the week.
Annie Potts is never better than when she's getting beaten up or someone's stealing one of her babies.
Hey, Grace, you wanna come watch with us? Aw, that's too bad! Jackie, let's go! Hector, I've only got five minutes before I have to get back to the office.
I want what I had yesterday.
I don't remember what it was, and you weren't working, but I want it anyway.
Hi.
Margot, from Will's law firm, right? Don't tell me.
Grace Adler, interior designer.
I remember, because you smelled like doll head.
So, you can set your own budget.
What do you say? About what? Oh, sorry.
I do this a lot.
I rehearse conversations in my head and then I can't remember if I've actually had them or not.
Listen, I want to redo the law firm.
So, you can set your own budget? What do you say? Really? Wow.
Oh, I just volunteered to, uh You know what? I will get back to you by this afternoon.
I stopped loving you years ago.
Excuse me? Sorry.
I'm having lunch with my husband later.
WILL AND GRACE Forbidden Fruit - S08 E012 Syncro: ovidurex Wow.
I've never been in this part of the manse before.
Oh.
Well That's the gift wrapping room, that's the meat locker, discotheque, car wash, and then Down here we have liquor storage, liquor collectables, liquor dry goods, emergency liquors, and candles.
Dipped in liquor.
And, uh, I thought I'd set you up here, in Stan's library.
Where does this door go? What door, honey? [POINTING.]
This door.
There's no door there.
You need to get your eyes checked.
Why don't you go see optometrist, ten doors down on the right, just past Spencer's Gifts.
Go on.
This way Wait a minute.
This is not one of those doors you open and then fall out the side of the building, is it? Of course it's not! Those are all marked "Door Sticks, Push Hard.
" Come on, Karen, I wanna look behind the door! All right, I'll tell you.
It's not that big of deal.
It's just that Well That's that's the forbidden room.
- The what? - The forbidden room.
Wow.
So dramatic.
The forbidden room.
Reminds me of my nickname at camp Forbidden Fruit.
Unless I was in a sleeping bag, then it was Fruit Roll-Up.
Okay, no more ordering from restaurants with cutesy names.
You know, "Curry in a Hurry" I can deal with, but "Tapas Don't Preach"? That's just going too far.
Will, really big news.
You know your old boss, Margot? I ran into her this morning and she asked if I would redecorate the law firm.
I thought you were gonna do that job for the nursing home? I know, and I really wanted to do it, but I can't do both.
And Margot said that the budget would be unlimited.
The only thing unlimited at the nursing home was applesauce between two and four.
I thought you said I inspired you to finally do something charitable with your life? Well, you did, and then it went away.
Do I have to remind you that I quit that heartless, money-grubbing, corporate law firm and now you're choosing it over sweet, elderly people who just want to live out the rest of their days with dignity? Nice.
When you say it like that, I feel awful.
Well, you should, Grace.
I was proud of you for doing something meaningful.
- You were? - Yes.
Okay, I won't take the job.
Okay? I finally committed to doing something charitable and I'm going to see it through.
That's my Grace.
You're a good person.
Just like Jake Gyllenhaal.
I don't know, sometimes when I look at my screen saver, I think "Yeah, you're thinking about me, too.
" You know, I used to feel that way about Sarah Jessica Parker.
But then, we shared an elevator ride together and she poked me in the boob with an umbrella and didn't apologize.
Were you trying to hug her? That's not important.
Thanks, Karen.
Oh.
B.
T.
W.
, I think I figured out what's in the forbidden room.
It's my birthday present, isn't it? Damn it, Jack! You are just too smart.
Something I've been excused of many times.
Mr.
Stan is upset.
He can't fit in his skinny jeans.
That man.
He wakes up one morning, can see his feet and gets all cocky.
Now, you stay in bed and stop thinking about your present.
Hey, Rosie.
Hasta manana.
So, we haven't talked in a while.
How are you? Mm.
Not so good.
My uncle died suddenly-- I don't care.
What did Karen get me for my birthday? Nothing yet, but she's looking at the LL Bean catalog.
What size duck boot do you wear? But, wait, if she didn't get me anything yet, what's she hiding in that room? What room? You know.
The forbidden room.
I never heard of a room like that, and unless you want to get yourself killed, you haven't heard it either.
Rosie, wait-- No, I've already said too much.
Don't follow me.
Oh, come on.
You know you can't outrun me! I'm so pleased you decided to accept this job, Grace.
I am, too.
Yeah, I can do a nursing home anytime.
It's just plastic ficas trees and rubber mats.
Oh, but listen.
If you need to call me, don't call me at home.
Use the cell or the office, but not home.
Never home.
You're hiding something.
And I bet it's wickedly evil.
You know, I belong to a secret club downtown that recruits young women-- Oh, hey, wow.
Great.
Good, Margot.
Let's, um, let's talk about what you want for your office.
I'm not sure what you mean when you say "tasteful bloodbath.
" So, Will, you quit your stupid charity job to come back to corporate law, huh? Didn't even tell Grace.
How do you know? Well, whenever she calls you answer the phone, "The Coalition for Justice.
" What's the matter, Will? You ashamed you didn't save the world? Hey.
I'm still doing noble work.
Now, come on.
Let's get cracking.
We have a power plant to defend against a very whiney elementary school.
I'll be right back, Margot.
What am I thinking? I have a bobby pin.
Oh, there.
I can't do anything with hair in my face.
Hey! What the hell are you doing by that door?! Look how pretty.
I can finally see your face.
Now, come on, honey.
Let's get back in bed.
Why do you keep trying to spoil your birthday present? Karen, I know the truth.
Rosie spilled the beans.
Then she told me there's no present in there.
Now, I demand that you tell what's behind that door! Honey, I don't want you to know.
But, we're friends.
We're not supposed to have secrets! Yeah, well guess what? We do.
What's behind that door is none of your business! Fine! You have a secret.
I have to respect that.
Truth is, I have a secret, too.
You're trapped! I'm going behind that door! Oh, my God, I am trapped! Oh, I guess I can move these.
Jackie, no! Why are you so strong?! And Rosie so fast? What is this place?! Oh! Oh, great! My forbidden door knob.
All right, fine.
You win.
I'm too sick to fight.
I won't go in your forbidden room.
Oh, my God And then I was thinking on the walls we could hang photographs from famous landmark cases, like, you know Or we could just paint them mauve.
I know I've said this, like, a thousand times, but Grace, you remind me so much of my sister.
They never found her killer.
Thank you? I'm gonna go get my, um, paint samples.
Oh, no, I left them at home.
Oh, I'll swing by later.
I'm having an affair with a guy on 73rd Street.
No, you can't.
Why not? I'm not getting any at home.
Uh, no, I mean, you can't come to my house.
I-- I know this may sound strange, but I haven't told Will I'm working here.
I don't understand.
You know how Will is working for the Coalition for Justice? Really? He's working for the Coalition for Justice? It seems like only minutes ago I saw him in the break room.
I know.
He's such a good person.
Anyway I told him that I wasn't taking this job, so I'd prefer if we could keep it between us.
Of course.
We're like sisters.
You know, if one of us hadn't been murdered.
Listen.
Would you mind waiting here for me for a minute? There's something I need to check on.
I need to talk to you.
Gary, get back to your hole.
Will, you are aware that I offered Grace a job, weren't you? Oh, yeah, she couldn't take it.
Oh, why not? Do you know? Yeah, she volunteered to redecorate a nursing home.
She's such a good person.
You both are.
Wait here, I wanna show you something.
Sure, Margot.
This is unbelievable.
A baby's room? Why do you have a baby's room? I don't want to talk about it.
You've seen, now let's get out of here! But, Karen, you can tell me anything.
- No! - Please.
All right, you've worn me down! Remember a few years ago, when I thought I was pregnant? Well, before I found out it was a false alarm, I had this room turned into a nursery.
I haven't been in it since.
Karen, you want a baby No, I don't! I don't know Sometimes I do think about how sweet it would be to see my child smear on my makeup and teeter around in my high heels.
And if it was a girl, that'd be okay, too.
See! Now that's why I didn't want to tell you.
Because I didn't want to have to see that pity puss.
Karen, I don't pity you.
Yes, you do.
"Poor little rich girl, wants the one thing she'll never have.
" It's so Farrah Fawcett in Poor Little Rich Girl or Meredith Baxter Birney in The One Thing She'll Never Have.
Karen, I think you're being too hard on yourself.
Like Joanna Kerns in Too Hard on Herself.
Maybe.
But, come on, Jackie.
What kind of mother would I make? I'm impatient, I'm selfish, I mean Can I really take care of another human being? I'm not exactly the maternal type.
But, Karen-- You do not sound good.
Come here Oh, for Pete's sake, you're burning up.
Now you get your keister back into bed, young man.
Hush, little gay boy, don't you cry Grace, will you step into the break room for a minute? - Sure.
- I'll be right in.
I think you will find something to keep you occupied.
I guess that's only funny to me right now.
Oh, crap.
- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.
What are you doing here?! Are you working here?! You lied to me! Me?! How long have you been working here and why didn't you tell me? I was going to, eventually like, when we're old and living in that nursing home you're supposed to be decorating.
Oh, don't make this about me.
[SIGHS.]
I really wanted to tell you I just You were so proud of me.
You know, and I made a big deal of doing charity work.
But, Grace That office It smelled like soy cheese and Raid.
And, I'm sorry to disappoint you.
And maybe it makes me a bad person, but I like doing corporate law.
And I love doing it someplace pretty.
I know you do.
You could never disappoint me.
You know what? I'm gonna make your office super pretty.
Yeah, about that.
Okay, fine, I took the job.
And I didn't tell you because blah blah blah, disappoint you, blah blah, guilt, blah blah, old people freak me out, blah blah.
Sorry.
Aw, that was beautiful.
If I'd known we were going to do blah blah's, I could have done that speech a whole lot shorter.
Never go first, Will.
Yeah.
Grace? Yeah, baby? What the hell are you wearing? Hey, Karen.
Sorry.
I should have minded my own business.
No, no, no, no.
Honey, forget about it.
I'm glad you made me come in here.
Yeah.
I think I'm finally ready to let go.
You know what? I'm gonna turn this room into something practical.
Like liquor storage.
We just do not have the space.
Hey, you know, just a thought, Kare but maybe you should keep it like this for a while.
Well, yeah.
Maybe I will.
You know.
Just for a little while.
Back to my office.
I want it-- I want it to look masculine.
Then stay out of it.
Good, you've worked it out.
On company time.
Really, what kind of relationship do you to have that you can't be honest with each other? It's disgraceful.
Margot.
Oh hello, dear.
My husband.
Yes, yes.
Florida's beautiful.
In fact, I'm in the water right now.