Duck Dynasty (2012) s09e01 Episode Script
Inlawful Entry
1 Good shot, Cole.
Watch out, incoming.
Yep.
Hey.
What are they doing? I don't know.
You got your windshield wipers on.
It's-It's sunny.
You can come out now.
- Hey! - Hi, guys! - Hey! How ya doin'? - How ya doin'? Y'all are back.
We were getting bored at home, so we decided to come over here and spend a few days with you.
"A few days"? Yeah.
Look, y'all can stay as long as y'all want to.
Now that Missy's parents are retired, they have a lot of free time on their hands.
We were playing basketball.
You wanna play? With my boots? Well, if you did wanna play, I was gonna say you can back that thing out, and you can park it on the street.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Which is great, but her dad can be a bit of a space invader.
Streets are for strangers.
Driveways are for family.
That's pretty good.
I never heard that before.
So Missy and I have developed a code word for when I feel like my space is being invaded, "Missy!" - Hey, Miss! How are you? - Y'all are back already? Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
I didn't even know y'all were gonna be coming.
- Hi, babe.
- Yeah, I sent you a message.
You sent me emojis.
Emojis have messages.
I have a car, a house, and a smiley face.
We're coming to your house, smiley face.
- Dad.
- Ha-ha! Yeah! Can't you read "Dad?" Why didn't I understand that? It's hard for me too.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Do y'all want something to drink? Mom, you want some lemonade or something? - Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, well, come in.
Y'all gonna play some basketball? Well, yeah.
But we're gonna have to move that RV.
You think we're too close? Maybe just a bit.
Ah, let's try it, pass me that rock.
All right, Kareem! Uh.
Cole, go get the ball.
I'm going for some lemonade.
Smiley face.
Oh, goodness, goodness, goodness.
- Larry! - What? Oh.
- Good mornin'! - Good mornin'.
- Did you wash my truck? - Yeah.
Jase, you've got to have a clean truck, son.
It's all a part of aerodynamics.
All those dust particles, they get in the way, man.
Huh? Look, I love my father-in-law, but compared to my family, the man is a full-fledged yuppie.
Well, Larry, here's the deal, I kind of like my truck dirty.
If you wash your truck, somebody might steal it.
They look at my truck, it's unwashed, it smells like death.
They walk up there and they say, "Nope.
" The few things we have Our faith Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
And our love for his daughter.
Oh, goodness.
So it's like a deterrent for theft.
But it smells like dead varmits.
That's about it.
Well, I'm gonna need you to move that RV so I can get my truck out.
I gotta go to work.
Uh-oh, we got a problem.
It can't go anywhere.
I've got it all propped up.
- Your driveway is on a slant.
- Oh, no.
- You put that thing here to stay.
- So it's level.
You can fit through there.
I'll move my car.
Okay.
Glad to have you here, Larry.
John Luke! - Hey.
- Are you ready? Yes, sir.
Got the sign up and everything.
- That's it? - Yeah.
John Luke, I can't even read it from the darn parking lot.
Mm-hmm.
This is not exactly a grand opening.
John Luke is married now, and he's probably gonna have a family to support soon.
So, naturally, I was excited he showed initiative to start a snow cone stand.
How does anybody even know it's here? I told everyone I know.
All my friends.
Well, you must not have many friends.
They're coming.
It's the perfect starter business.
John Luke, this is optimal snow cone weather.
And with me as his partner, there's no way he can screw this up.
Nobody's even hitting their brakes.
If you build it, they will come.
- No, no, they won't.
- Yeah.
If you build it, they don't know about it, they ain't coming.
Then again, I've been wrong before.
- Brian's bought some.
- Who's Brian? - My employee.
- Hello, Brian.
All right, look.
We've got a major advertising problem.
What we need is a good slogan.
It needs to be clever, something like, like, "Ice Ice Baby.
" "Too cold.
Too cold.
" I don't get it.
Vanilla Ice? We have vanilla ice.
No, John Luke.
It's a song.
Remind me to teach you about the '90s.
You gotta hook it.
Catch and release.
- Just stand right there, Godwin.
- No, I ain't standing there.
Hey, he'll hook you.
- See if I can get a Si.
- Hey! Have you lost your mind? - What? - What's wrong with you? That thing's got a hook in it.
I was trying to catch the oldest fish in the sea.
- Wait a minute.
- Uh-oh.
My in-law just sent me a cartoon picture of a piece of pizza.
A cartoon piece of pizza.
- It's an emoji.
- What does it mean? What in the world is "emoji"? Well, maybe he likes pizzas.
I do.
Y'all are weird.
Hey! - Anybody hungry? - Larry? - Hey, Jase! - Hi, guys! I didn't know you were coming up here.
- What you got? - Man, I got something to eat.
Did you get my text? He said something about you like pizza or something.
I don't know.
Oh, is that what that meant? Yeah.
I sent you a picture of a little pizza.
Yeah, we were just - Whoa! No! - Oh, good grief! That is a party foul.
That's yours, Godwin.
That one's yours.
That's disgraceful.
Just dust it off, it'll be all right.
You're gonna eat it.
Look, Jase has got it pretty dang good when it comes to Larry.
A father-in-law that brings you pizza at work? That's pretty darn cool in my book.
If you keep bringing us pizza, you are welcome up here, brother.
Hey.
I mean, that's up there with a father-in-law that's also into video games.
Or one that knows how to use throwing stars and numchucks.
A true ninja.
Larry, you can text me anytime.
I like your style.
Mm-hmm.
Come to think of it, I'm gonna be a pretty awesome father-in-law one day.
All right, I've come to see the duck calls.
Where are the duck calls? Nothing here but boxes.
And the boxes are full of duck calls.
Give that man that duck call right there.
You gonna train me how to blow it? Look, you got your greeting call.
That's the most famous sound in the duck world.
I don't think I can do that one.
Oh, yeah, you can do it.
Give it a whirl.
- That ain't bad.
- Not bad.
Well, now that I've learned how to blow a duck call, let's go hunting.
The problem is, duck season's not open.
- Want to go quail hunting? - Hey.
- Well, yeah.
- Yeah.
- I do.
- I do.
- I'm in.
- No.
Here's the problem with going hunting with yuppies.
Jase, it's a win-win, son.
Pizza, now let's go quail hunting.
Yeah.
Yuppies go hunting for fun.
They want to chit-chat and have a good time.
I've never eaten quail.
- Well, we gotta go now.
- Yeah, yeah.
I hunt for food.
When's the last time you hunted, Larry? Oh, not more than four or five decades.
It's not that I don't want to go hunting with the man.
I just don't wanna get shot today.
If you want a safe hunt, lose the yuppie.
Come on, Jase, what do you say? We need some quality time.
I think y'all do need some quality time.
Let's go quail hunting.
- Say "yea.
" - Yea! - Hey.
- Well.
All right, that's a "yes.
" - We're in? - Uh-oh, Kareem! What? No.
You ain't no basketball player.
Let's try quail hunting.
All right, guys, it looks good inside.
It looks a lot - I fixed the sign.
- I like it.
I spent a lot of time on this one.
- You did that? - I did that by myself.
I think it looks good.
You're the boss.
Let's get one thing straight.
Technically, he's not your boss.
I'm your boss, 'cause I'm the major contributor of funds into this business, all right? You're the boss.
John Luke, did you even interview him? - Yes, sir.
- His name is Brian.
Okay.
So, look, if you're gonna interview people, you're gonna have to ask proper questions, all right? - Yes, sir.
- Okay? Brian, what makes you wanna be in the snow cone business? I'm good with ice.
Okay, that's a start, that's a start.
- Yeah, you gotta love the product.
- Exactly.
It's important that John Luke hires a strong staff filled with ambitious and responsible people.
Where do you see yourself in the next five years? I always wanted to go to, like, a theme park, man.
That'd be so fun.
Yeah.
I'm talking about, like, a job.
Well, I guess I could work there too.
Because a good business won't last long without good employees.
But I did always wanna be a doctor.
A doctor? That's cool, that's interesting.
Pediatrician.
Take it from someone who has a lot of experience with inadequate employees.
Did you go to college, or No, I don't feel like maybe I need to go to school, because, like, I've learned how to do a lot of stuff via YouTube.
Um, okay.
You want to nip this problem in the bud.
You ever been in trouble? Any run-ins with the law? Anything like that? Yes, sir.
Oh, it's a "yes.
" Okay.
Normally, that's "no.
" Okay.
Well, uh At least John Luke can fire Brian.
I'm stuck with my employees for life.
All right, look, you pretty much answered every interview question that I asked incorrectly.
He's a good salesman.
I make the best snowballs this side of H-Town.
Know what I'm sayin'? We're not in H-Town.
We're in West Monroe, Louisiana.
Hold that thought.
John Luke, is he gonna be the one interacting with the customers? - Yes, sir.
- I can't understand a word he's saying.
Any time you hire somebody, you gotta be ready to fire that person, okay? Hello, Brian.
Wow, what was fast.
Tell me that ain't the best snowball you've ever tasted.
"Snow cone," but all right.
What is this? What's this flavor called? It's called the BR-5000.
It's a combination of blue raspberry, red raspberry, with piña colada on the top.
Ohh! Man, I'm getting weak in the knees eating this thing.
That is the most legit snow cone you'll ever taste.
You know what I'm sayin'? Actually, for the first time, Brian, I understand what you're sayin'.
This is legit.
That's what we like to call, in the biz, a "game changer.
" Too legit to quit.
"Ice Ice Baby.
" Here's your safety.
I know about a safety.
I'm just saying.
You haven't hunted in, what? - Oh, 50 years.
- Fifty years? I mean, just think, if you hadn't driven a car in 50 years, you might need to go over the basics.
- All right.
- So see this? That's safety on.
Gotcha.
That's off.
That's red.
That means that's live.
That's hot.
Red doesn't mean stop? No.
No, red don't mean stop, red means hot.
Hot, safety on.
No.
That's off.
See that red? - That means danger.
- Danger.
Teaching somebody about hunting is like teaching a kid how to ride a bike.
You start with the training wheels.
See? Safety on.
Safety off.
Safety on.
You don't have to say that every time.
On, off, on, off, on, off, on, off, on off.
- Safety first.
- Got it.
Only in hunting, the bike is a deadly weapon.
There is no room for error.
When do we put on the face paint? No.
The face paint doesn't go with orange.
We got the orange on because in all the confusion, I don't wanna get shot.
Or me, I'm the youngest.
I got a lot more to live for.
Then again, my wife broke her jaw while learning how to ride a bike, and Larry was her instructor.
Is that the tag? Yeah.
- What are you doing? - I gotta get that off.
If I don't like hunting, I'm gonna take it back and get my money back.
Good grief, take it back? So that was a bad analogy.
But you get what I'm saying.
The dog will find them.
Then we ease up there and flush 'em.
- Are we ready? - Mm-hmm.
Hunt 'em up, Stella.
Stella! Let me and Larry take the lead.
I don't want to be in front of Larry anyway.
That's it.
I could've been a contender.
That's the wrong movie, Godwin.
Contender for what, the Goodyear Blimp? What you got there on your head? Oh, this is my new headwear, you like? I don't know if you can pull that off.
I just figure cars passing by, they see the bandana, see me.
'Cause we look so much alike, they're gonna think it's you, and they'll buy some.
- I like it.
- You look nothing like me, okay? I think we favor each other a little bit more than you think.
Oh, geez, I hope not.
- I see it.
- You know what I'm sayin'? No, I don't know what you're sayin'.
But I'm gonna let it slide a day.
Don't do it again.
Lookie here! - Here's some customers.
- What's up, guys? - Welcome! - Fancy seeing you here.
Okay, I want a small Tiger's Blood, please.
- Small Tiger's Blood.
- Small Tiger's Blood! Can I have a small horchata? - Small horchata.
- Small horchata! Okay, that's loud.
For a small business like this, it's important that John Luke have a good rapport with his customers.
- Small Tiger's Blood! - Thank you for not buying that.
Thanks, Dad.
At some point, money has to change hands.
Because in order for this snow cone stand to succeed, repeat business is a must.
You can't just give this stuff away for free.
Why not? That's all our profit going right out the door.
And there's no better way to have a customer return than to give them good, old-fashioned, quality customer service.
John Luke, you're burning You're burning all the You're burning all the pr Just Bro! Unfortunately, John Luke doesn't have any customers.
He has freeloaders.
John Luke, how are we gonna make any money if you're just giving it all to your friends and your family? Those people are gonna make us a lot of money because they're gonna put it on social media.
- That's why people come.
- That's not how it works.
You gotta have better signs.
You gotta let people know what they're coming to.
I mean, that's how people buy things.
Not nowadays, social media.
- Free marketing.
- Oh, my gosh.
Can we get one more round of snow cones, please? Yeah, of course.
No, there's no more round of snow cones.
That's it.
You got one.
That's your last one that's free.
But John Luke said they're free.
Okay, well, that's over, no more.
I don't have any money.
Do you have any money? - Here you go.
- Thanks, Dad.
You're welcome.
That's the last free one.
Where's my change? We don't have any change.
- Don't have any change? - Mm-mm.
Stella, bring me my bird! All right, Stella.
She's onto something here.
Line 'em up.
All right, Larry, come on.
She's on 'em, get ready.
Jase, this is so exciting.
They're in there, Jase.
They gotta be in there.
Oh, they're in there.
You have to be quiet, though.
I got 10-to-1 odds that Larry don't cut a feather.
I got 10-to-1 odds we gonna be eatin' fried chicken tonight instead of quail.
Jase, isn't this cool? Shh.
Shh! - Shh-shh! - Hmm.
I'm honored that I can educate my father-in-law in hunting.
This is the great outdoors, Jase! Shh.
However, Larry isn't the easiest person to hunt with, because he's loud.
Jase, why won't they fly? Jase, make 'em fly.
Come on, you dirty birds, fly.
It's the same reason that most yuppies go into the woods and they say, "I don't see anything here.
" Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come on! That's because they heard you coming, and they're hiding.
- Any moment, any moment.
- Jase.
Oh, oh, I can feel my heart beating.
We're still working on Larry's stealth mode.
I feel like I'm chaperoning a date or something.
It's a man date, a man and his father-in-law.
Get ready now, this is gonna be quick.
This is it, this is it, this is it.
Come on up.
Come on up a little bit.
Right there.
Well - Why didn't you shoot? - Mine won't work.
You got the safety on.
No, no, no.
Don't tell me that.
That's why I told you, "Safety on, safety off.
" Hey, we got one, boys.
One ain't gonna be enough.
No, no.
Look, the best thing about quail hunting, okay, is eating them little heifers afterwards.
We're gonna need a lot of mashed potatoes, biscuits.
- Gravy.
- Butter.
Sautéed onion.
You don't even need any utensils.
You don't even need teeth, either, okay, because, look, they'll melt in your mouth.
Mushrooms.
- And cheese.
- And cheese.
But, hey, none of this matters if you're hunting with Larry.
Aaahh! Whoo! Because, look, you've got to actually kill 'em, okay, to be able to eat 'em.
Safety off.
I was this close of being with you when you shot your first quail.
Well, you will be yet.
I'm gonna be at your house a little longer.
- Hmm.
- Just joking.
That's the best joke you've told all day.
You got me.
One weird dude.
You know, you can buy quail at the store.
- What are we doing here? - I know it.
- You wanna go? - I will if you will.
You want to? All right, let's go.
Don't act like you don't want to.
Let's let them have their moment.
We'll catch y'all later.
Stella, bring me my bird! - Safety off.
- No.
You keep that on.
Small root beer, small watermelon.
Small watermelon! Can I get a small zombie with cream? Small zombie! - Can I have a small green apple? - Small green apple.
Green apple! Thank you, you'll pick it up right over there.
- Hey.
- Hey, Miss Korie.
- What do you want? - Can I get a strawberry? - Strawberry! - Y'all are busy.
This morning, it was pretty slow, but I sent out the old Tweet on social media and brought the crowd.
- Good thinking.
- He did good.
He got a lot of people here.
I may have doubted John Luke, but I have to say, his marketing strategy is kind of working.
All right, Mr.
Newlywed.
I've never ordered a snow cone.
I've never eaten a snow cone.
What do you have back there? Give me the best you got.
All right.
We'll go BR-5000.
I'll try it.
If John Luke keeps this up, he's gonna be a very successful business owner like his old man.
That ain't bad.
- Not bad.
- You know what I'm sayin'? Yes, sir, I know what you're sayin'.
Getting family members to pay for a snow cone.
Pony up.
Hey, look, give me some cubed ice, boys, for my tea.
I don't want that crushed junk.
- We ain't got no cubed ice.
- You ain't got no cubed ice? What kind of joint you running around this joint? Hey, Si, I got some ice for you.
- Hey! - Quit! I got him on the run, boys! Free snow cones for everybody! Yeah.
They get the family discount.
John Luke.
No free snow cones for family! That's it.
All right, y'all bow a minute.
Father, we thank You for the good food You blessed us with.
I also am thankful, Father, that you blessed John Luke with a good snow cone stand.
Through Jesus.
In His name I pray.
- Amen.
- Amen.
All right, boys, let's eat.
Oftentimes, we view our differences as negatives, which is easy because most disagreements come from what makes us fundamentally different.
As unnerving as it may be, though, it's important to look at those differences as a chance to learn from one another.
Heck, in some cases, you might just be able to teach someone a thing or two.
Or maybe you'll just learn.
"Ice Ice Baby.
"
Watch out, incoming.
Yep.
Hey.
What are they doing? I don't know.
You got your windshield wipers on.
It's-It's sunny.
You can come out now.
- Hey! - Hi, guys! - Hey! How ya doin'? - How ya doin'? Y'all are back.
We were getting bored at home, so we decided to come over here and spend a few days with you.
"A few days"? Yeah.
Look, y'all can stay as long as y'all want to.
Now that Missy's parents are retired, they have a lot of free time on their hands.
We were playing basketball.
You wanna play? With my boots? Well, if you did wanna play, I was gonna say you can back that thing out, and you can park it on the street.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Which is great, but her dad can be a bit of a space invader.
Streets are for strangers.
Driveways are for family.
That's pretty good.
I never heard that before.
So Missy and I have developed a code word for when I feel like my space is being invaded, "Missy!" - Hey, Miss! How are you? - Y'all are back already? Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
I didn't even know y'all were gonna be coming.
- Hi, babe.
- Yeah, I sent you a message.
You sent me emojis.
Emojis have messages.
I have a car, a house, and a smiley face.
We're coming to your house, smiley face.
- Dad.
- Ha-ha! Yeah! Can't you read "Dad?" Why didn't I understand that? It's hard for me too.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Do y'all want something to drink? Mom, you want some lemonade or something? - Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, well, come in.
Y'all gonna play some basketball? Well, yeah.
But we're gonna have to move that RV.
You think we're too close? Maybe just a bit.
Ah, let's try it, pass me that rock.
All right, Kareem! Uh.
Cole, go get the ball.
I'm going for some lemonade.
Smiley face.
Oh, goodness, goodness, goodness.
- Larry! - What? Oh.
- Good mornin'! - Good mornin'.
- Did you wash my truck? - Yeah.
Jase, you've got to have a clean truck, son.
It's all a part of aerodynamics.
All those dust particles, they get in the way, man.
Huh? Look, I love my father-in-law, but compared to my family, the man is a full-fledged yuppie.
Well, Larry, here's the deal, I kind of like my truck dirty.
If you wash your truck, somebody might steal it.
They look at my truck, it's unwashed, it smells like death.
They walk up there and they say, "Nope.
" The few things we have Our faith Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
And our love for his daughter.
Oh, goodness.
So it's like a deterrent for theft.
But it smells like dead varmits.
That's about it.
Well, I'm gonna need you to move that RV so I can get my truck out.
I gotta go to work.
Uh-oh, we got a problem.
It can't go anywhere.
I've got it all propped up.
- Your driveway is on a slant.
- Oh, no.
- You put that thing here to stay.
- So it's level.
You can fit through there.
I'll move my car.
Okay.
Glad to have you here, Larry.
John Luke! - Hey.
- Are you ready? Yes, sir.
Got the sign up and everything.
- That's it? - Yeah.
John Luke, I can't even read it from the darn parking lot.
Mm-hmm.
This is not exactly a grand opening.
John Luke is married now, and he's probably gonna have a family to support soon.
So, naturally, I was excited he showed initiative to start a snow cone stand.
How does anybody even know it's here? I told everyone I know.
All my friends.
Well, you must not have many friends.
They're coming.
It's the perfect starter business.
John Luke, this is optimal snow cone weather.
And with me as his partner, there's no way he can screw this up.
Nobody's even hitting their brakes.
If you build it, they will come.
- No, no, they won't.
- Yeah.
If you build it, they don't know about it, they ain't coming.
Then again, I've been wrong before.
- Brian's bought some.
- Who's Brian? - My employee.
- Hello, Brian.
All right, look.
We've got a major advertising problem.
What we need is a good slogan.
It needs to be clever, something like, like, "Ice Ice Baby.
" "Too cold.
Too cold.
" I don't get it.
Vanilla Ice? We have vanilla ice.
No, John Luke.
It's a song.
Remind me to teach you about the '90s.
You gotta hook it.
Catch and release.
- Just stand right there, Godwin.
- No, I ain't standing there.
Hey, he'll hook you.
- See if I can get a Si.
- Hey! Have you lost your mind? - What? - What's wrong with you? That thing's got a hook in it.
I was trying to catch the oldest fish in the sea.
- Wait a minute.
- Uh-oh.
My in-law just sent me a cartoon picture of a piece of pizza.
A cartoon piece of pizza.
- It's an emoji.
- What does it mean? What in the world is "emoji"? Well, maybe he likes pizzas.
I do.
Y'all are weird.
Hey! - Anybody hungry? - Larry? - Hey, Jase! - Hi, guys! I didn't know you were coming up here.
- What you got? - Man, I got something to eat.
Did you get my text? He said something about you like pizza or something.
I don't know.
Oh, is that what that meant? Yeah.
I sent you a picture of a little pizza.
Yeah, we were just - Whoa! No! - Oh, good grief! That is a party foul.
That's yours, Godwin.
That one's yours.
That's disgraceful.
Just dust it off, it'll be all right.
You're gonna eat it.
Look, Jase has got it pretty dang good when it comes to Larry.
A father-in-law that brings you pizza at work? That's pretty darn cool in my book.
If you keep bringing us pizza, you are welcome up here, brother.
Hey.
I mean, that's up there with a father-in-law that's also into video games.
Or one that knows how to use throwing stars and numchucks.
A true ninja.
Larry, you can text me anytime.
I like your style.
Mm-hmm.
Come to think of it, I'm gonna be a pretty awesome father-in-law one day.
All right, I've come to see the duck calls.
Where are the duck calls? Nothing here but boxes.
And the boxes are full of duck calls.
Give that man that duck call right there.
You gonna train me how to blow it? Look, you got your greeting call.
That's the most famous sound in the duck world.
I don't think I can do that one.
Oh, yeah, you can do it.
Give it a whirl.
- That ain't bad.
- Not bad.
Well, now that I've learned how to blow a duck call, let's go hunting.
The problem is, duck season's not open.
- Want to go quail hunting? - Hey.
- Well, yeah.
- Yeah.
- I do.
- I do.
- I'm in.
- No.
Here's the problem with going hunting with yuppies.
Jase, it's a win-win, son.
Pizza, now let's go quail hunting.
Yeah.
Yuppies go hunting for fun.
They want to chit-chat and have a good time.
I've never eaten quail.
- Well, we gotta go now.
- Yeah, yeah.
I hunt for food.
When's the last time you hunted, Larry? Oh, not more than four or five decades.
It's not that I don't want to go hunting with the man.
I just don't wanna get shot today.
If you want a safe hunt, lose the yuppie.
Come on, Jase, what do you say? We need some quality time.
I think y'all do need some quality time.
Let's go quail hunting.
- Say "yea.
" - Yea! - Hey.
- Well.
All right, that's a "yes.
" - We're in? - Uh-oh, Kareem! What? No.
You ain't no basketball player.
Let's try quail hunting.
All right, guys, it looks good inside.
It looks a lot - I fixed the sign.
- I like it.
I spent a lot of time on this one.
- You did that? - I did that by myself.
I think it looks good.
You're the boss.
Let's get one thing straight.
Technically, he's not your boss.
I'm your boss, 'cause I'm the major contributor of funds into this business, all right? You're the boss.
John Luke, did you even interview him? - Yes, sir.
- His name is Brian.
Okay.
So, look, if you're gonna interview people, you're gonna have to ask proper questions, all right? - Yes, sir.
- Okay? Brian, what makes you wanna be in the snow cone business? I'm good with ice.
Okay, that's a start, that's a start.
- Yeah, you gotta love the product.
- Exactly.
It's important that John Luke hires a strong staff filled with ambitious and responsible people.
Where do you see yourself in the next five years? I always wanted to go to, like, a theme park, man.
That'd be so fun.
Yeah.
I'm talking about, like, a job.
Well, I guess I could work there too.
Because a good business won't last long without good employees.
But I did always wanna be a doctor.
A doctor? That's cool, that's interesting.
Pediatrician.
Take it from someone who has a lot of experience with inadequate employees.
Did you go to college, or No, I don't feel like maybe I need to go to school, because, like, I've learned how to do a lot of stuff via YouTube.
Um, okay.
You want to nip this problem in the bud.
You ever been in trouble? Any run-ins with the law? Anything like that? Yes, sir.
Oh, it's a "yes.
" Okay.
Normally, that's "no.
" Okay.
Well, uh At least John Luke can fire Brian.
I'm stuck with my employees for life.
All right, look, you pretty much answered every interview question that I asked incorrectly.
He's a good salesman.
I make the best snowballs this side of H-Town.
Know what I'm sayin'? We're not in H-Town.
We're in West Monroe, Louisiana.
Hold that thought.
John Luke, is he gonna be the one interacting with the customers? - Yes, sir.
- I can't understand a word he's saying.
Any time you hire somebody, you gotta be ready to fire that person, okay? Hello, Brian.
Wow, what was fast.
Tell me that ain't the best snowball you've ever tasted.
"Snow cone," but all right.
What is this? What's this flavor called? It's called the BR-5000.
It's a combination of blue raspberry, red raspberry, with piña colada on the top.
Ohh! Man, I'm getting weak in the knees eating this thing.
That is the most legit snow cone you'll ever taste.
You know what I'm sayin'? Actually, for the first time, Brian, I understand what you're sayin'.
This is legit.
That's what we like to call, in the biz, a "game changer.
" Too legit to quit.
"Ice Ice Baby.
" Here's your safety.
I know about a safety.
I'm just saying.
You haven't hunted in, what? - Oh, 50 years.
- Fifty years? I mean, just think, if you hadn't driven a car in 50 years, you might need to go over the basics.
- All right.
- So see this? That's safety on.
Gotcha.
That's off.
That's red.
That means that's live.
That's hot.
Red doesn't mean stop? No.
No, red don't mean stop, red means hot.
Hot, safety on.
No.
That's off.
See that red? - That means danger.
- Danger.
Teaching somebody about hunting is like teaching a kid how to ride a bike.
You start with the training wheels.
See? Safety on.
Safety off.
Safety on.
You don't have to say that every time.
On, off, on, off, on, off, on, off, on off.
- Safety first.
- Got it.
Only in hunting, the bike is a deadly weapon.
There is no room for error.
When do we put on the face paint? No.
The face paint doesn't go with orange.
We got the orange on because in all the confusion, I don't wanna get shot.
Or me, I'm the youngest.
I got a lot more to live for.
Then again, my wife broke her jaw while learning how to ride a bike, and Larry was her instructor.
Is that the tag? Yeah.
- What are you doing? - I gotta get that off.
If I don't like hunting, I'm gonna take it back and get my money back.
Good grief, take it back? So that was a bad analogy.
But you get what I'm saying.
The dog will find them.
Then we ease up there and flush 'em.
- Are we ready? - Mm-hmm.
Hunt 'em up, Stella.
Stella! Let me and Larry take the lead.
I don't want to be in front of Larry anyway.
That's it.
I could've been a contender.
That's the wrong movie, Godwin.
Contender for what, the Goodyear Blimp? What you got there on your head? Oh, this is my new headwear, you like? I don't know if you can pull that off.
I just figure cars passing by, they see the bandana, see me.
'Cause we look so much alike, they're gonna think it's you, and they'll buy some.
- I like it.
- You look nothing like me, okay? I think we favor each other a little bit more than you think.
Oh, geez, I hope not.
- I see it.
- You know what I'm sayin'? No, I don't know what you're sayin'.
But I'm gonna let it slide a day.
Don't do it again.
Lookie here! - Here's some customers.
- What's up, guys? - Welcome! - Fancy seeing you here.
Okay, I want a small Tiger's Blood, please.
- Small Tiger's Blood.
- Small Tiger's Blood! Can I have a small horchata? - Small horchata.
- Small horchata! Okay, that's loud.
For a small business like this, it's important that John Luke have a good rapport with his customers.
- Small Tiger's Blood! - Thank you for not buying that.
Thanks, Dad.
At some point, money has to change hands.
Because in order for this snow cone stand to succeed, repeat business is a must.
You can't just give this stuff away for free.
Why not? That's all our profit going right out the door.
And there's no better way to have a customer return than to give them good, old-fashioned, quality customer service.
John Luke, you're burning You're burning all the You're burning all the pr Just Bro! Unfortunately, John Luke doesn't have any customers.
He has freeloaders.
John Luke, how are we gonna make any money if you're just giving it all to your friends and your family? Those people are gonna make us a lot of money because they're gonna put it on social media.
- That's why people come.
- That's not how it works.
You gotta have better signs.
You gotta let people know what they're coming to.
I mean, that's how people buy things.
Not nowadays, social media.
- Free marketing.
- Oh, my gosh.
Can we get one more round of snow cones, please? Yeah, of course.
No, there's no more round of snow cones.
That's it.
You got one.
That's your last one that's free.
But John Luke said they're free.
Okay, well, that's over, no more.
I don't have any money.
Do you have any money? - Here you go.
- Thanks, Dad.
You're welcome.
That's the last free one.
Where's my change? We don't have any change.
- Don't have any change? - Mm-mm.
Stella, bring me my bird! All right, Stella.
She's onto something here.
Line 'em up.
All right, Larry, come on.
She's on 'em, get ready.
Jase, this is so exciting.
They're in there, Jase.
They gotta be in there.
Oh, they're in there.
You have to be quiet, though.
I got 10-to-1 odds that Larry don't cut a feather.
I got 10-to-1 odds we gonna be eatin' fried chicken tonight instead of quail.
Jase, isn't this cool? Shh.
Shh! - Shh-shh! - Hmm.
I'm honored that I can educate my father-in-law in hunting.
This is the great outdoors, Jase! Shh.
However, Larry isn't the easiest person to hunt with, because he's loud.
Jase, why won't they fly? Jase, make 'em fly.
Come on, you dirty birds, fly.
It's the same reason that most yuppies go into the woods and they say, "I don't see anything here.
" Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come on! That's because they heard you coming, and they're hiding.
- Any moment, any moment.
- Jase.
Oh, oh, I can feel my heart beating.
We're still working on Larry's stealth mode.
I feel like I'm chaperoning a date or something.
It's a man date, a man and his father-in-law.
Get ready now, this is gonna be quick.
This is it, this is it, this is it.
Come on up.
Come on up a little bit.
Right there.
Well - Why didn't you shoot? - Mine won't work.
You got the safety on.
No, no, no.
Don't tell me that.
That's why I told you, "Safety on, safety off.
" Hey, we got one, boys.
One ain't gonna be enough.
No, no.
Look, the best thing about quail hunting, okay, is eating them little heifers afterwards.
We're gonna need a lot of mashed potatoes, biscuits.
- Gravy.
- Butter.
Sautéed onion.
You don't even need any utensils.
You don't even need teeth, either, okay, because, look, they'll melt in your mouth.
Mushrooms.
- And cheese.
- And cheese.
But, hey, none of this matters if you're hunting with Larry.
Aaahh! Whoo! Because, look, you've got to actually kill 'em, okay, to be able to eat 'em.
Safety off.
I was this close of being with you when you shot your first quail.
Well, you will be yet.
I'm gonna be at your house a little longer.
- Hmm.
- Just joking.
That's the best joke you've told all day.
You got me.
One weird dude.
You know, you can buy quail at the store.
- What are we doing here? - I know it.
- You wanna go? - I will if you will.
You want to? All right, let's go.
Don't act like you don't want to.
Let's let them have their moment.
We'll catch y'all later.
Stella, bring me my bird! - Safety off.
- No.
You keep that on.
Small root beer, small watermelon.
Small watermelon! Can I get a small zombie with cream? Small zombie! - Can I have a small green apple? - Small green apple.
Green apple! Thank you, you'll pick it up right over there.
- Hey.
- Hey, Miss Korie.
- What do you want? - Can I get a strawberry? - Strawberry! - Y'all are busy.
This morning, it was pretty slow, but I sent out the old Tweet on social media and brought the crowd.
- Good thinking.
- He did good.
He got a lot of people here.
I may have doubted John Luke, but I have to say, his marketing strategy is kind of working.
All right, Mr.
Newlywed.
I've never ordered a snow cone.
I've never eaten a snow cone.
What do you have back there? Give me the best you got.
All right.
We'll go BR-5000.
I'll try it.
If John Luke keeps this up, he's gonna be a very successful business owner like his old man.
That ain't bad.
- Not bad.
- You know what I'm sayin'? Yes, sir, I know what you're sayin'.
Getting family members to pay for a snow cone.
Pony up.
Hey, look, give me some cubed ice, boys, for my tea.
I don't want that crushed junk.
- We ain't got no cubed ice.
- You ain't got no cubed ice? What kind of joint you running around this joint? Hey, Si, I got some ice for you.
- Hey! - Quit! I got him on the run, boys! Free snow cones for everybody! Yeah.
They get the family discount.
John Luke.
No free snow cones for family! That's it.
All right, y'all bow a minute.
Father, we thank You for the good food You blessed us with.
I also am thankful, Father, that you blessed John Luke with a good snow cone stand.
Through Jesus.
In His name I pray.
- Amen.
- Amen.
All right, boys, let's eat.
Oftentimes, we view our differences as negatives, which is easy because most disagreements come from what makes us fundamentally different.
As unnerving as it may be, though, it's important to look at those differences as a chance to learn from one another.
Heck, in some cases, you might just be able to teach someone a thing or two.
Or maybe you'll just learn.
"Ice Ice Baby.
"