RuPaul's Drag Race (2009) s09e01 Episode Script

1 - Sashay away.
Can I get an amen in here? Sashay away.
Can I get an amen in here? Good luck.
Sashay away.
Can I get an amen in here? How the hell can you love somebody else? Can I get an amen in here? And don't fuck it up.
- Oh, my God.
Hey.
I am Peppermint, and I am sweet and sassy.
Yes.
I perform and host in New York.
When you come to a Peppermint show, you're gonna see people screaming and hollering, money flying and you're gonna feel special.
I look great.
Perfect.
My braids are sitting just right.
I got it going on.
All right, let's get to work.
- Hello.
It's me, Valentina.
(speaking Spanish) Who am I? Valentina.
I'm 25 years old.
I'm from Echo Park, California.
Sass.
Hey, beauty.
- Valentina.
I'm Peppermint.
- (speaking Spanish) Mwah.
- Mwah.
My type of drag, it's very dramatic, very theatrical and always very Latina.
I'm an undiscovered superstar.
I've always dreamed of being in here, and here we are, girlfriend.
- Here we are, girl.
- Oh, come on, give it up for the big girl serving pure catfish.
My name is Eureka, and I am 25 years old.
People would categorize me as a pageant queen, but to me, my drag is the genre of fabulous.
(laughs) Hi, I'm Eureka.
- Where are you from? - East Tennessee.
Girl, I'm country as a biscuit, honey, and I love eating 'em, too.
Your hair's hot.
- Thank you, girl.
- I love the baby hairs.
- I'm a little natural around the way, girl, you know.
- That's my favorite shape is round.
- I can see.
- I'll eat you.
(all laugh) - Hi, hi, hi.
It's about to get shady up in here.
My name is Charlie Hides and I'm (muffled) years old.
(door creaks) - Hey! - Hey! - Oh, my God, Peppermint's here.
- I'm known as a celebrity impersonator.
My drag persona is rude, crude, socially unacceptable and over the top.
Can I ask you, with that dress, why didn't you wear like a big pair of earrings? - I really wanted to give you, like, Walmart realness.
- I'm getting that, Eureka.
- Thank you.
(all laugh) - It's Christina Aguilera.
- So this is what it looks like.
- She's naked.
- My name is Farrah Moan, and I'm from Las Vegas, Nevada.
- Oh, my God, dirty.
- My drag is inspired by Vegas showgirls.
My wardrobe shows a lot of skin and there's usually a feather or two or five dead ostriches.
You never know with me.
Hi.
- Hi, I'm Charlie.
- Charlie.
- What's your name? - Farrah.
Farrah Moan.
- Farrah Moan walks in.
She's a twig, and she looks about 12.
I have underwear older than her.
- Hi.
I'm Eureka, like the vacuum cleaner.
How are you? - I've never vacuumed before.
- Well, I came to clean house, girl.
- Aah! - What? - Aah! (coughs) - Oh, wow.
- My name is Sasha Velour.
I am years 29 old.
I am a bald, fashiony, artistic weird queen.
Hi, ladies.
I'm committed to being uniquely Sasha all the time.
- Tell us about yourself.
- I'm a visual artist.
I love telling stories with art and with drag.
- What story are you telling with this unibrow? - (laughs) - How do you like them egg rolls, Mr.
Charles? I'm Alexis Michelle, and I am New York City's premier Broadway queen.
Oh, shit.
I went to school for musical theater.
I think the ultimate fantasy now would be to be on Broadway in drag.
- Girl.
- Come on, New York.
- So the east coast is well represented.
- I will say L.
A.
, west coast, it's the center of the universe.
Sorry, New York.
- She says forget what you heard, apparently.
Memo taken.
- My name is Shea Coulee, and I didn't come to play.
I came to slay.
- I love The Muppets.
- I'm Shea Coulee, and I'm 27 years old.
Shea Coulee is a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget.
Hey! You're gonna get a full-on production when you see Shea Coulee.
Costumes, check.
Makeup, check.
Dance moves, she got 'em.
- Where are you from? - I'm from Chicago.
- Yes, Chicago.
(all laugh) - Chicago drag is the motherfucking bomb-dot-com.
- Dot-com? - Yes, bitch.
It's got its own domain.
(all laugh) - The body is here, bitches.
- Oh, shit.
- Girl, I'm Trinity Taylor.
Some people say I'm the look and feel of real, but my body speaks for itself.
- Shut it down! - Trinity does not pad.
I love plastic surgery, and I went from a pancake to a Kardashian.
I do a lot of pageants, but I don't like to use the word pageant queen because there's such a stigmatism with pageant queen.
I can do anything, from beautiful to way outside the box.
- Oh, my God.
Lady! - Bitch, I'm just excited I know somebody.
Me and Trinity know each other from competing.
She, like, won the pageant that I really wanted to win so, of course, there's that, like, bougee attitude from her.
- I am the body girl.
I'm here and I'm not padded.
- She's gonna be competition.
- Who are the pageant girls? You're a pageant girl, I'm a pageant girl, you're a pageant girl.
Just to clear the air, I promise I'm not one of the mean ones.
(all laugh) - That is a lie.
- Oh.
- Ooh.
- There's always been tension with me and Eureka.
Maybe she has an issue with the fact that every pageant that we've been in, I beat her.
- Is it me or is it hot in here? I'm Kimora Blac from Las Vegas.
The queen is here.
Bow down, bitches.
- Oh, you ain't the only body, girl.
- I love anything see-through and anything that shows my body.
Big tits, big ass, irresistible.
Gay guys love me, straight guys love me.
Kimora Blac is everyone's sexual preference.
- Hey, girl.
- Oh, my God! Oh! Oh, my goodness.
- That's my Vegas sister.
Kimora's ass is famous.
That's what she's gonna be known for.
That ass is gonna have its own t-shirts.
I can see it all now.
- Season 9, baby.
- How long you been doing drag? - Oh, my God, 10 long years.
- Bravo.
- 10 long years.
- 10 months.
- And you can go to hell.
- My debut was 10 months ago when I performed.
- I can't.
I can't.
I can't with her.
- I'm fairly new to drag, but I wouldn't consider myself looking like an amateur drag queen.
I carry myself like a winner and a superstar.
- Come on, drag queen.
- (laughs) - Hi, shape-shifters.
- I am Jaymes Mansfield, I am 26 years old, and I'm from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
I build puppets.
I'm a kooky, comedy queen that has way more up her sleeve than they know.
All right.
- Jaymes Mansfield looks scared and confused when she walks in.
Like, am I in the right room? - Hi, honey.
- Oh, my goodness.
- These are my summer diamonds.
Some are diamonds and some are not.
(all laugh) - Is this all fake or is it real? - Um, I'd say the foot upward, it's all fake.
- I meant your personality.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
- I'm Nina Bo'nina, banana fo-fana, Osama bin Laden, Brown, boom, boom, boom, boom.
I am Nina Bo'nina Brown, and I am back in town to shut her down.
Well, no, I can't say I'm back in town, 'cause I haven't even been in town yet.
- Yes, ma'am.
- She seems a little mousy.
- Hey, sisters.
- Yay! - Yes.
- My drag consists of fantasy.
One minute I may be a zombie.
The next time I may be a nun.
I'm not cosplay.
Nobody does what I do.
- What inspired your look? - Well, you know, my drag is like universal, honey.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- So your drag's like STDs.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- Exactly.
- Oh! - Oh! - My name is Aja and I'm from Brooklyn, New York.
Your edges are officially snatched.
- Yeah.
- Aja is vangy.
Her drag style is very the streets of Tokyo meets the streets of Brooklyn.
She's cute, but she's dangerous.
- Oh, my.
I am so happy to see you.
- I'm so happy.
- I love Aja.
She is the number one name in Brooklyn that people are talking about right now.
- Hi.
Aja.
Mwah, mwah.
Oh, you are so gorgeous in blue.
- Thank you, thank you.
So nice to meet you.
Aja's makeup is just really rough around the edges, but she comes off as confident.
Does she know what she looks like? 'Cause if not, I need to tell her.
- I feel like I'm at home with so much talented girls.
- Yes! - Oh! - Oh! - Bitch! - Yes, ma'am, honey.
- That's a damn good Lady Gaga impersonator.
- Oh, girl.
- Oh, my God.
So this is the Derek Barry of the season.
- Oh! - Yo, I'm Ronnie and I'm from New Jersey.
I'm New Jersey's number one Lady Gaga impersonator.
But what I'm really excited about is how long it takes for these queens to figure out that it's really me.
- Is it time to go home? - (laughs) - Wait a minute.
- The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race" receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics and a cash prize of $100,000.
- RuPaul's Drag Race - May the best woman Best woman win - Mother Monster has arrived.
- Wait a second.
(screaming) - Holy fucking balls, it's Lady Gaga.
Like, the real one.
- Holy shit.
I'm on "RuPaul's Drag Race" Season 9, and Lady Gaga is in the same room with me.
Aah! (screaming) - Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- I can't tell you, I have been the closest to death and you've pulled me out of it, and you don't even realize what you do for people and how much you inspire people like me and all of us.
And I just want to tell you, you're so amazing, and I never thought in the world I would ever meet you.
And I think you're so incredible.
I'm so sorry.
I think you're so incredible.
- Aw.
(applause) - You allow us to be who we are as an artist.
Thank you.
- I have always really admired the craftsmanship that goes into what you all do.
Drag has for me been an opportunity to leave myself when I didn't want to be me.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- And felt so completely out of place when I was in high school.
Drag has just been part of my life for the longest time.
It's just really an honor for me to be here, to be with you all.
- No, it's an honor for us.
- Yes, Gaga.
(cheers and applause) (door opens) - Hello, hello, hello! (cheers and applause) Oh, my Gaga! (all laugh) Gather round, ladies.
Oh, darling, mwah, mwah.
You look amazing.
- Thank you, so do you.
- Now you've had a chance to meet my girls.
Do you have any advice for them? - You know, when you're having a bad day, just remember that I was nobody, and then I became somebody one day.
And it's the same right here.
- Ah! - Yes.
- Your lives are gonna change forever today.
And I would also remember something that you taught me a very long time ago.
- Get the money up front? - Yes, and on the back.
- (laughs) - Remember what he always has said: You better work - Turn to the left.
- Turn to the left.
- Work.
- Work.
- Now turn to the right.
- Now turn to the right.
- Work - Work.
- Sashay, shante.
(cheers and applause) - Now, as you can see, this season is going to be stuffed with more stars, more stunts and more shenanigans than ever before.
- Yeah! - And on this premiere, for the first time in "Drag Race" herstory - Uh-oh.
- No one is going home.
- Oh! - Oh! - (gasps) Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, pow! Face on the floor.
- #OhMyGaga.
And ladies, to get this episode started, we're throwing a pageant.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Yes, Miss Thing, the Miss Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve & Talent Pageant.
(all laugh) - Yes! Oh, my God! I can do this.
I want to show these bitches that I'm the one to look out for.
- You'll be competing in two categories.
First, you need to show us where you're from with a frock inspired by your home city.
Second, as a salute to our legendary guest star, you need to strut your stuff in your favorite Lady Gaga drag.
So don't be a drag, just be a queen.
(cheers and applause) - Lady Gaga, would you do the honors? - Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.
- Whoo! - Yes! - Move, bitch.
- Oh, my God, up.
- Watch out now.
- Ow! - I'm right behind you, honey.
Sorry, guys.
- Where am I gonna go? Where am I gonna go? - This first challenge is very important because this is the first impression that you make.
No one can afford to fuck this shit up.
- Bam, bam, bam.
- Are they sure this wasn't the challenge, 'cause I feel like I'm winded.
- Is this already a claimed work station? Hello? Am I missing something? Can someone tell me if there's another station somewhere that I'm not seeing? (sighs) - Farrah is awkwardly endearing with the way that she whines.
- So am I, like, Matilda or something? - I call her Blonde Benet Glamsy 'cause she whines like a 6-year-old, so, huh.
- I really want a station of my own.
- So have you ever done a Gaga look before? - Yeah, 'cause I've played her a bunch of times in my video.
- Oh, yeah, in your videos.
- I make YouTube videos, which I make by myself in my living room.
I've been making fun of Lady Gaga on YouTube for years.
I am always afraid that when I impersonate people that they're gonna watch my videos.
Lana del Rey said I was an asshole, apparently.
- Lana del Rey called you an asshole? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Charlie has a very on the edge kind of sense of humor.
It's an acquired taste, and I'm not sure if the judges have acquired that taste.
- I'm wearing the rainbow kimono that Gaga wore.
- Yes, bitch.
- Coming through.
- It's V collar.
Oh, like it's the one.
I was like, can I, like, go through your archives and, like, have stuff? And he was like, yeah, take whatever you want.
- Aja is very New York.
"I'm from New York.
I did this.
" "Oh, my God, this guy made me this.
" She talks about the costume designers and all this jazz.
No one cares.
- Touch it.
It's arctic fox dyed with saffron.
- Oh.
My hometown look is a Georgia peach.
Girl, I said, how am I gonna go from a damn mouse to a peach? I haven't seen a lot of girls who can get some paper and some kind of glue and create a new face.
I may not have the best stuff, but I work with what I got, and I think that's what makes me different.
I just need for people to believe in me.
- Ladies, who wants to win the first challenge the most? - Me! - Me! - Come on, girl! - Everybody.
- Get in line, girl! - I'm about to storm all you bitches.
- Right.
She gonna be just like the candy.
She gonna dissolve.
Ha ha! - The stakes are high for this first challenge because everyone is fighting for that spotlight.
- The true Gaga-rini, that is what's about to go down.
- I feel very prepared and ready.
The only thing that I want from this challenge is to beat Trinity.
- Coming up.
- She (bleep) nailed it.
- You could put Donald Trump in that dress, he's gonna look gorgeous.
- That I don't agree with.
(all laugh) (RuPaul laughs, bell dings) (applause) - Hello.
Welcome to the Miss Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve & Talent Pageant.
Let's meet our distinguished panel of judges.
Fourth runner-up in the Miss South Plainfield New Jersey Popping, Dipping, Spinning and Vogue-ing Pageant, Michelle Visage is here.
- Darling, I wear it with pride.
Thank you.
- Style superstar, Carson Kressley.
- I love that this is a scholarship pageant.
Great work.
- And the hilarious Ross Mathews.
- I have Vaseline on my teeth.
- Ha ha! - And the one, the only Lady Gaga.
- Well, if you could do me a favor and shoot me from the left and put a filter on that camera, would you? - All right, Ms.
Streisand.
Now, to get to know them better, our contestants will introduce themselves wearing frocks that represent their home cities.
Let the pageant begin.
(applause) Category is First up, Peppermint.
- Check out those big apples.
- My name is Peppermint from New York City, home of Metro cards, EBT cards and Lady Liberty.
- That's a mint I'd like to bite into.
- Valentina.
- Ole, you stay.
- I'm Valentina.
I'm from East L.
A.
and I'm repping Mariachi Plaza.
- Oh, Mary-achi.
Next up, Eureka.
She's the forgotten Mandrell sister.
- Right.
- Howdy, y'all.
I'm Eureka and this is Mary Jo Beth.
I come to you from East Tennessee, and I'm representing the redneck woman.
(all laugh) - Honky-tonk ba-donka-donk.
Charlie Hides.
Honey, she is Thanks-giving it to you, darling.
- She is.
- Hi.
I'm Charlie from Massachusetts, the home of the pilgrims, America's first drag queens.
- She's a witch.
- Burn her! - Burn her at the stake! - Up next, Farrah Moan.
- I can tell from here she gives great head-dress.
- Hi, my name's Farrah Moan.
I'm from Las Vegas, Nevada.
Are you feeling lucky? - What happens in Vegas slays in Vegas.
- That's right.
- Yeah.
- Next up, Sasha Velour.
She's crowning.
(all laugh) - Hi, I'm Sasha Velour and I'm from New York City, home of queer modern art, Haring, Warhol, Basquiat.
- Burger Queen.
She's got a Whopper.
We just can't see it.
- Alexis Michelle.
- These have always brought me luck.
- I'm Alexis Michelle, a native New Yorker, home of Broadway, bagels and an epicenter of civil rights.
- Work that message, girl.
- Darn kids have tagged my swimsuit again.
- See, it's the elder care that I relate to.
- Shea Coulee.
- She-brew national.
- Don't be fooled by the brats that she got.
- My name's Shea Coulee and, bitch, I'm from Chicago! (all laugh) Nothing reminds me of home more than a big wiener sandwiched in between two buns.
- The other girls better "catch up.
" They "must-heard" about her.
I want you to "relish" this moment.
(all laugh) Somebody stop me.
- (laughs) Trinity Taylor.
- You must be this tall, Ru, to take that ride.
- I'm Trinity Taylor from Orlando, Florida, the theme park capital of the world.
Want to take a ride? - I'd take a ride on her disco trick.
- Uh-huh.
Kimora Blac.
- Blac lives matter, y'all.
- Hello, my name is Kimora Blac from the city of Las Vegas.
All the girls in Vegas just know me as the youngest, hottest, skinniest queen.
And if you're feeling a little frisky, whatever you do to me stays in Vegas.
- This message has been brought to you by penicillin.
(all laugh) Up next, Jaymes Mansfield.
- Holy cow! - Hi, I'm Jaymes Mansfield.
I'm a tejano living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, land of beer, cheese and serial killers.
Shh.
(all chuckle) - She's a dairy queen.
- Aja.
- Make America gay again.
- Yes.
- My name is Aja and I'm from New York, where people are always angry on the streets.
But it's okay 'cause you could be yourself.
Lady Liberty has spoken.
- I wonder how many immigrants have gone through her.
(all laugh) Nina Bo'nina Brown.
She's got Georgia on her mind.
- And her face.
- I am Nina Bo'nina banana fo-nana Osama bin Laden Brown.
Originally from South Kakalaki, you can now catch me in Atlanta, Georgia.
Take a bite of this peach.
- It looks like she's got a touch of the Zika.
- (laughs) - Oh, my, Michelle.
The last thing I thought would be brought up today is Zika.
- Coming up Our contestants return to the stage wearing their very best Lady Gaga drag.
- Do I have something on my face? (all laugh) (RuPaul laughs, bell dings) (RuPaul laughs) - Welcome back to the Miss Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve & Talent Pageant.
(applause) In this next category, our contestants return to the stage wearing their very best Lady Gaga drag.
First up, Peppermint.
Grammy Awards 2016.
- If it ain't brocade, don't fix it.
- Crowd control to Major Tom, giving you Gaga/Bowie realness.
Because the entire point of drag is to give the middle finger to rules of gender.
- I have nothing to say.
I'm going to be speechless this whole time.
- Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
Next up, Valentina, the CFDA Awards.
- That was Mugler when Nicola Formicetti was there.
- I am wearing the look she wore for the CFDA Awards.
I definitely see myself a bit in Lady Gaga because she carries herself with grace and glamour, but I always want to add a Latina flair to what I do.
- I brought my sister as my date, and we were both on the red carpet like a bunch of pissed off New Yorkers.
- Some things never change, darling.
- Paparazzi love her.
Next up, Eureka, the "Telephone" video.
- Yes.
- Guilty as charged.
I decided to do the "Telephone" look.
I just want to give them something big and glamorous and kind of risky couture.
Got my titties on my chin, cinch, pull and tuck, honey, that's the D.
- Great choice, darling.
I believe that was Jean de Castelbajac.
who made that garment.
- Oh, you say that to all the queens.
- Next up, Charlie Hides, Brit Awards 2010.
- That's a lace front wig, I believe.
- I believe it is.
- Yes.
- I've chosen to wear the outfit that Lady Gaga wore for the 2010 Brit Awards.
I've done Lady Gaga hundreds of times on YouTube, and I think I'm pretty polished, so I'm fairly confident.
- Philip Treacy made this for McQueen, and he gave it to me because I was doing a tribute to him.
- Don't be a drag, be a McQueen.
Next up, Farrah Moan, the "Alejandro" video.
- Pray and slay.
- Oh, my God, look at her cross.
- I look exactly like Lady Gaga in my "Alejandro" music video look, and I'm rocking my real hair and I really hope that Lady Gaga lives for it.
- That attitude and the face is really good, and the makeup is on point because Steven Klein and I had an argument about it.
I thought it was too much makeup in this scene.
- Don't cross this queen.
- Everybody needs a virgin to sacrifice.
- Can I get an amen? Next up, Sasha Velour, the "Applause" video.
- Do I have something on my face? (all laugh) - I'm wearing my favorite look that she has ever done.
A Pierrot clown, high art, Pat McGrath makeup.
It is the place where art and pop meet.
- It's gonna be hard for this not to be one of my favorites.
- What do you live for, Gaga? - The applause.
(all laugh) - Painted for the Gaga.
(all laugh) - Alexis Michelle, the Golden Globes.
Best actress realness.
- When I saw Gaga at the Golden Globes in this gown, I said she's wearing Alexis Michelle's body.
So here I am body, curve, swerve and trophies.
- Yay! - Donatella Versace made this for me.
That is not easy to make that bodice that way.
Wonderful job, darling, and thank you for bringing my Globe with you.
- It's Ver-sayce.
- Matching trophy.
- Shea Coulee, Monster Ball Tour.
Paws up, baby.
- My Lady Gaga look, it's ethereal, powerful, yet gentle and serene, and it mixes engineering and fashion.
- This reminds me of the film that Nick Knight did with the yellow electric urine blonde.
- Mmm.
- Urine blonde is my screen name on Scruff.
- It is? - Yes.
- It's my password on Netflix.
- Trinity Taylor, "American Horror Story, Hotel.
" - Yes, Countess.
- Yes.
- This look speaks to me because I love darkness and glamour and vampires.
And Lady Gaga was so seductive and sexy and brilliant in the show.
- Trinity, a little club soda will take that right out.
- You know, they say that if you use your own spit, the enzymes break down the blood, so - Good to know.
- Thank you.
- This competition is cutthroat.
Kimora Blac, Lady Gaga "On The Go.
" - This is the Versace phase.
- I'm giving a look that Gaga wears to, like, the airport.
I think picking out what she's done for red carpets is so predictable and it's so, like, all right, done.
- Those boots, they remind me of the pleasers that I used to get off of, um - Hollywood Boulevard, honey.
- Yep, yep.
- No ifs, ands or butts about it.
- Uh-uh.
- No, ma'am.
- Jaymes Mansfield, the cover of "Vogue.
" - Oh.
- I am serving you Gaga on the cover of "Vogue.
" My drag is campy and different, so I'm giving you Lady Gaga in slumber land.
I look amazing.
If they don't like this dress, don't blame me, blame Marc Jacobs.
- Oh, she's a little sleepy.
- It's Marc Jacobs.
She's Marco-leptic.
- She's actually not wrong, either, because I was so tired the day that we did that shoot that that's probably what I looked like in between shots.
- Cover girl, put some gel in your hair.
Nina Bo'nina Brown, VMAs 2009.
- Oh, my God.
- Yes, McQueen, yes.
- This was one of the biggest nights of my life.
- I'm serving you the black version of Lady Gaga.
Lot of hips, a lot of ass and a lot of sass.
I can't see how Lady Gaga is reacting because I can't see anybody.
- I just love the expression in her face when she wears this outfit.
You know, you can tell she's happy.
- Oh, no, she's on the edge of whore-y.
Up next, Aja, Commes des Garcons.
- Now, where did I park my car? - For my Lady Gaga look, I'm wearing a remake of her Commes des Garcons look that she wore to show that beauty has no shape.
- Now, I wore this because the media was saying I was fat and I knew this archive, so I called Commes des Garcons and I asked him if we could wear it.
It's such an excellent choice.
- And very slimming.
- It's all about the waist.
- Oy, gevalt.
(all laugh) - Coming up Wait a minute.
Stop the music, please.
The real competition is just about to begin.
- Fuck.
Oh! (RuPaul laughs, bell dings) (RuPaul laughs) - Okay, judges, we are looking for one winner who has what it takes.
Let's start with Peppermint.
- I think Peppermint has a fun personality.
You could tell that she likes to take the piss with her drag, and I do like that.
I thought her Lady Liberty was kind of basic to me.
Peppermint's David Bowie, it would have been so great to have the lightning bolt.
- On the face, yeah.
- Yeah.
- I love when I see the exact impression and the detail in that, but the adding of the hoop earrings, I didn't understand it.
Bowie wouldn't have worn them that big.
If he did, he would've worn one.
- One, exactly.
- You know, so I'm looking at detail.
- Valentina.
- That hometown look of hers was my very favorite look of anybody up there.
It was just such a strong look, and her Spanish sombrero, East L.
A.
homage, I thought it was super fun.
I thought she was beautiful and I thought the makeup was on point.
And then, the Lady Gaga look was also super strong.
- Both of these looks brought a tear to my eye.
Her walk was fantastic.
For me, she was the best model.
- Mm-hmm.
- Wow.
- Eureka, that first outfit, there was a little bit of a used-up Tina Turner there.
- Tina Turner away.
- I was laughing and entertained and that's part of this.
As far as her Gaga look, I thought it was fun, it was detailed.
- She's actually one of my favorites of the night.
- Charlie Hides.
Her first look was the pilgrim.
- I wasn't blown away by the first look.
I felt like there was supposed to be a rip-away moment and it kind of just sort of got a little mangled.
But the Gaga look might have been one of my favorites.
- The detail of the way that that lace sort of interlays, it's beautifully done.
- Farrah Moan.
- That first outfit was definitely not Las Vegas.
I felt it was more like a different version of, like, "Anna Karenina," you know.
- "Anna Karenina" goes to "Game of Thrones.
" - Well, she does sort of look like she's in the main showroom of the Vatican.
- Yes.
- (laughs) - As far as her Gaga look, being a smaller queen, she chose something that swallowed her up, and that might not have been the best idea for a Gaga look.
- I was hoping that there was going to be tear-away.
- Yes.
- And there wasn't.
I do have to say I was impressed by her poise.
- I'm wearing Poise right now, actually.
Sasha Velour.
- One too many props can spoil a good party.
She was kind of cumbersomely standing up there holding these things.
- Hey, Michelle, it's only episode one of season nine, and I'm already disagreeing with you.
- Okay.
- Okay? - Go on.
- I like more is more.
I like that she brought the props.
She didn't waste any time showing us who she is.
- Too much.
- If you just lose the portrait, this would've been a perfect performance.
- Look at Gaga finding middle ground for Michelle and I.
- And then, "Applause," I thought she did well and even in that kind of flowy thing, it changed her persona.
- Yes.
- Yeah, I didn't know who it was.
- Right.
- And that is great drag.
- Yeah.
- I don't think any other queen told us exactly who she is better than she did.
- Alexis Michelle.
- When you're gonna use things like words on your body, you have to be able to read them.
- Mm-hmm.
- And the way they were positioned on the bustier and on the corset, you couldn't read them.
The point was lost.
But her Gaga moment was stunning.
- Yeah.
- That dress is amazing.
You could put Donald Trump in that dress, he's gonna look gorgeous.
- No.
- That I don't agree.
The shape and the silhouette that she achieved, this was really good.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is someone to watch, I think.
- Shea Coulee.
What'd you think about that first outfit? - I thought that was really fun and very memorable.
I mean, who doesn't like a giant wiener on your head? - As long at it's girth-y.
- And I thought the Gaga look was great.
- That dress is just amazing.
- The dress was actually made by Jim Henson.
- Of "The Muppets?" - Yes.
The original dress was made in very particularly pleated origami, and it was mechanical.
And I felt that some of the other girls went a little further with the detail.
- Let's talk Trinity Taylor, no relation to Rip Taylor.
- Oh, damn it! - Yeah.
- I thought Trinity's Orlando outfit was kind of nondescript.
You wouldn't know where she was from.
Now, when she turned around, it was the kind of anal sun.
- Yeah.
- And it was kind of like, oh, okay.
But her Countess Lady Gaga drag I loved.
- Phenomenal.
- I loved it from top to bottom, and everybody knows I love a bottom.
- That hair that she did for the Countess is so difficult to do.
To get that type of smoothness and to get the lace to lay that flat is very hard.
She fucking nailed it.
- Let's move on to Kimora Blac.
- I thought the first look was not indicative of Vegas to me.
It was very cheap looking.
And the Gaga look, to me, it just seemed like something you'd see in a bar.
There's no pizzazz.
- I think she needs a moment to get comfortable.
- Jaymes Mansfield.
- I love whimsy.
- Yeah? - I thought I was being served a comedy queen.
I was left with a little drag blue balls with her.
I didn't get what I thought I was going to get.
- Well, there's so much you could get.
If you're from Milwaukee, I mean, you could be covered in cheese.
You could have a wig that looks like an udder.
Like, you can't go halfway.
- Right.
Like, take it to the next level.
- Milk it.
You milk it.
- Milk it, honey, yeah.
- What did you think of her interpretation of your "Vogue" cover? - The hair is not what it was.
My bigger issue is I think she's hiding.
It's about her just letting her true self shine through.
- All right.
Let's talk about Nina Bo'nina Brown.
- I was so excited when she walked around the corner.
- It's whimsical, but it's also fabulous.
- That insane peach face with the head.
It's so twisted, and yet it's so beautiful.
And this choice of the McQueen, she makes a statement with each piece.
- She has a point of view, yeah.
- She has a point of view as an artist.
I see a star.
- Let's move on to Aja.
- I wasn't blown away by the Statue of Liberty moment.
It's okay.
- Why do you hate America, Carson? (all laugh) - I did love the Commes des Garcons look, but the makeup was real bad.
- I don't know that she nailed it tonight, but this girl, she's gonna keep surprising you.
- All right.
Judges, time to fill out your scorecards and bring back my girls.
- The Florida election committee will be verifying these results.
- (laughs) (RuPaul laughs, bell dings) (RuPaul laughs) - Welcome back.
I've combined the judges' scores, divided them by five and added a 20% tip.
- (laughs) - When I call your name, please step forward.
Eureka.
- Ooh.
- Sasha Velour.
Nina Bo'nina Brown.
- (gasps) Oh.
- I wish you could see the expression on your face.
- (laughs) - I wish I could see the expression on your face.
Con-drag-ulations, ladies.
You are our top three finalists.
Now, if for any reason tonight's winner cannot complete her reign, the first and second runner-ups will thumb wrestle to determine who takes her place.
(all laugh) I hold in my hand the name of Miss Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve & Talent.
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of a fabulous week-long getaway to The Grand Resort and Spa, Fort Lauderdale's premiere gay men's spa resort (inhales) And the title of Miss Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve & Talent The winner is Nina Bo'nina Brown.
- Yes! (applause) - Come on, mama.
- For them to crown me, it means a lot to me.
Girl, Lady Gaga bought my drag.
She bought it.
She didn't rent it from the Netflix.
She bought it.
Validation complete.
- Is there anything you'd like to say? - I know that this is just the beginning, but to get you guys' approval for this means a lot to me.
Thank y'all so much for this.
I truly appreciate it from my heart.
- Well, my queen, go ahead and serve your public, honey.
- Yeah.
Come on, baby.
- Yes.
- Congratulations, darling.
- Nina Bo'nina Brown.
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Stop the music, please.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have to apologize.
This is not a Steve Harvey moment.
Nina, you are still our winner.
You are still our winner, honey, but The real competition is just about to begin.
I'm introducing a 14th queen into the race.
- (gasps) - What? - Who? - Fuck.
Oh! - Breathe.
- Please welcome back to the race The 14th contestant in the 9th season of "RuPaul's Drag Race.
" (screams) - Yeah! - Bitch! Ru, are you punking us? - Oh, my God.
- No fucking way.
What?