Geordie Shore (2011) s09e02 Episode Script

(WOMAN READING) We're back and things are about to get fucking naughty! It's going to be bigger and better than ever before.
(WHOOPING) More kissing.
Getting fucked up.
Tears (SOBBING) Arguing.
(ALL SHOUTING) (BOTH ARGUING) Fucking sides! You fucking told me! You fucking tramp.
- (SCREAMING) - (SOBBING) Bring it on.
I'm showing Aaron exactly what he's in for.
I'm technically single.
I can do what I want.
Wow.
The fucking sly prick, I thought we were mates! Yous are pathetic! Fuck off! I never planned it, I just went and told her to fuck off.
Everyone's mortal.
SCOTT: He was bang out of order last night, so let's see how he likes it when the shoe is on the other fucking foot.
You liar! I can't even bear to look at Aaron.
That's what happens when you fuck Marnie over! I should have a degree in pulling women.
I am a Geordie girl with a VIP edge.
I'm a natural beauty.
Real boobs, real hair.
Get me in this house 'cause I'm gonna tear the place up.
I would never kiss anyone without a six-pack.
The hardest graft I've ever done is to do me hair.
I'm cheeky, colourful and full of mischief.
I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got double Fs.
I'm gonna make sparks fly and get everyone feisty.
ALL: Geordie Shore, wae'aye! Yeah.
I'm sorry like, but that was funny as fuck when she swilled him.
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God, I missed it.
Last night it all kicked off, Marnie swilled Aaron, everything was going on.
What the fuck? What was the conversation before you swilled him? 'Cause we were just talking about, like, how he's a fucking liar and he's a fucking arsehole and stuff, and I just got really angry.
I can't understand why Aaron would get a girl's number, I thought things were going well, but clearly I was the only one who did.
Last night, Scott was a fucking snake, he told Marnie that I got a girl's number, I thought us boys were meant to stick together.
So, I'm trying to warm me piece up and sweat this hangover out, but I've got fucking Aaron chirping in me ear about what I said to Marnie last night.
I know for a fact, right, that Aaron would not have told Marnie in his own time.
He was trying to get away with it, and if he could get away with it, he would.
Yeah, okay, fair enough.
KYLE: I don't think you would have told her.
We're all hungover, but decide to get up, do some exercise, and blow off the cobwebs.
It's all in the hips.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - Ow! - VICKY: Keep going.
Be fit, not fat.
Be fit, not fat.
Start as we mean to go on.
Well, exactly, aye.
My fanny's getting, like, too hairy now.
Last night I'm sure, like, there's stray pubes everywhere.
- What do you mean? - VICKY: Do you mean you're shedding? - (LAUGHS) - Oh, no, I sleep in the same bed as you.
Yes, I've got a hairy vagina.
Why is everyone so shocked? I just was going through a stage.
What kind of a stage, an Abba phase? (LAUGHING) She got to get herself to the waxer 'cause she looks like she's got Hagrid between her legs.
- HOLLY: Are you excited? - No.
(GIGGLES) So, we've arrived at the salon and Charlotte is absolutely shitting herself.
I just hope she doesn't get too nervous and fart in the woman's face.
Just lay down, it'll be fine.
Oh, but (STAMMERS) I mean It's not gonna be a big bit? I'll just do a little bit at a time.
(SIGHS) (SCREAMING) Oh, God! (LAUGHS) MARNIE: That's a piece of cake, that.
(CHARLOTTE SCREAMING) - Wait, just breathe.
- Oh, God! Treatment starts and I'm in so much pain.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, you can do it! (ALL SCREAMING) (SCREAMS) Ow! (SCREAMING) I don't wanna do underneath, like, I'm in pain, I'm in big pain.
HOLLY: All right, okay.
There is no way I'm letting this woman anywhere near my flaps.
She can fuck right off.
Wait a sec, you've waxed a lot on there, mind.
You've done that without us in the watching.
It's all right, it's fine.
(SCREAMING) - (CHARLOTTE GRUNTS) - (LAUGHING) Right now, the most important thing to me is that this woman gets her hands off my vagina.
- It's a good one, though.
- It's a good-looking fanny now.
Well, I mean, yeah, apart from the hairy flaps.
I'd like to say that Charlotte's vagina looks amazing, like a porn star's, but, no, it looks like a fucking airport, you could land a jumbo jet on that strip.
CHARLOTTE: It's so swollen.
Oh, I miss them.
(ALL LAUGHING) JAMES: Everyone's getting ready, I'm absolutely buzzing for tonight, I can't wait, it's gonna be mint.
To be honest, what I want is the best of both.
I wanna pull Marnie and other girls, I want the best of both worlds, and since I'm not tied to either, that's understandable.
It's never gonna happen.
I tried it with Charlotte, I tried it with Marnie, it doesn't happen.
- Girls get feelings.
- I know, man.
Gary's telling us not to get in too deep with any girls in the house, as if I'm taking relationship advice from him.
To be fair (CONTINUES SPEAKING) - So, let's have a good night.
- You got it.
ALL: To us! - Big night out! - (ALL CHEERING) Hopefully, it's gonna be a chaos-free, fun-filled, mortal madness, night on the town.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) We get to Tup Tup and everyone's buzzing for a mint night.
Let's get fucking mortal.
I don't know what's going on tonight, like, but the atmosphere's electric.
AARON: We're in the club and Marnie's looking fit, I'm definitely putting the graft in with her tonight.
(BOTH SPEAKING) I want to stay mad at Aaron, but it's so hard when he's telling us how nice I look.
(BOTH SPEAKING) Wow, this is easier than I thought, it looks like I'm back in the good books.
Get in.
(JAMES SPEAKING) JAMES: It's blatantly obvious that Aaron and Marnie are gagging for each other.
I just wish they'd get on with it, so I decide to hoy them together.
(JAMES SPEAKING) Oh! Just call us Cupid from now on, but instead of a bow and arrow I've just got bulging biceps.
I'm happy to see Marnie's got a smile on her face, I just think she's being a little too forgiving with Aaron, it wasn't five minutes ago he was getting another girl's digits.
I'm taking Aaron to one side to make sure he knows where I stand, 'cause if he hurts Marnie, he'll have me to deal with.
(KYLE SPEAKING) Me and Marnie haven't banged and we've barely kissed, I don't even know why you're getting involved.
(AARON SPEAKING) Yeah, boys will be boys, and boys might knock other boys clean out.
Shit, not only have I forgiven him, I'm necking on with him.
What the hell is wrong with us? (ALL CHEERING) Me and Marnie are necking on and everyone's proper buzzing and jumping all over.
It's like we've just got married.
Marnie is all over Aaron like Scotty on a slag.
Fucking hell, she's forgiven him quickly.
Tonight's actually been a wicked night, no arguments, everyone's having a good time.
It's time to get home and hope Aaron gets laid.
HOLLY: (SINGING) I got a big fat forehead I got a big fat forehead Fuck! I don't know what the hell I've been drinking tonight, but I'm fucking mortal.
I was hoping to get back to the house and have a cheeky snuggle, but that's not gonna happen.
Marnie's drank the bar dry.
Marnie's in an absolute mess, she's playing with Blow-up Brenda in a sexual way.
Fuck.
(MARNIE SPEAKING) I think that this top is better on me, am I wrong? Oh! AARON: The only good thing about Marnie being mortal is I got to see her tits, and that's more than I've ever seen before.
Fucking take that.
MARNIE: The only think I can think of is that I'm angry at myself for forgiving Aaron too easily, I'm such a mug, I should've stuck to me guns a lot longer.
It doesn't look as though Marnie's forgiven Aaron at all.
You all right, like? Things were going so well, I can't believe Marnie's ruined it.
Fuck this, I'm off to bed.
We're all off to bed, but I can tell you one thing, Marnie is gonna have a hell of a headache in the morning.
Last night, Marnie proper kicked off, she was getting naked and hitting us across the head with a tray.
That girl's lost the fucking plot.
We've all been through this, you've been through it, you've been through it, she gets pissed right, then she just loses the plot.
One minute she adores us, the next she hates us, I don't know if she's gonna be flashing her tits or caving me fucking head in.
During the day she's so like nice and giggles all the time, - at nighttime she's, like, fuck off.
- She's a fucking lunatic.
It's like Jekyll and Hyde, mate, honestly.
Aaron's having a nightmare with Marnie whenever she gets pissed, you can tell the kid's struggling, he should just do what I did and just sack her off.
(PHONE RINGING) JAMES: Phone.
VICKY: Phone.
- Hello? - (ANNA OVER PHONE) Hi, Anna, you all right? Anna calls, and tonight we're hosting our very first Tash-on Tours gay event.
What's the craic, Vicky? (VICKY SPEAKING) Oh, my God, I'm absolutely buzzing, we're going to Powerhouse, it's one of the best nights out you can have in Newcastle.
Whoop, whoop! I walk past Marnie's room and she's still in bed.
She's either hiding or she's got a hangover from hell.
(ALL TALKING) Marnie's still in bed? The lazy fuck slept through everything.
There's a cup of tea for you.
- Thanks, Kyle.
- Nay bother.
MARNIE: What the fuck happened last night? I remember being in the club, kissing Aaron and then the rest is a blur.
I was so drunk.
- KYLE: Yeah.
- I don't know what the fuck happened.
What's the craic with Aaron? You hit him over the head with, was it a plate or a - A plate? - No, not a plate, what was it? One of them little plastic things.
Oh, thank God.
I feel like the tables were turned last night.
It's normally him who's in that state.
Everything was going so well, I just had to ruin it.
I have no idea what I'm gonna say to Aaron.
I'm so humiliated, no words could fix it.
(SIGHS) - Hiya.
- All right? I'm in the bathroom having a shave and Marnie comes in to speak to us.
Hopefully, she won't have a fucking tray in her hand today.
I just wanna say sorry for being a bit of a drunk mess last night.
I'm really sorry.
You were a fucking nightmare last night, like.
I know, I'm sorry.
AARON: Marnie needs to realise how much of a nightmare she can be.
When she's drunk, I don't know whether I'm coming or going with her.
(AARON SPEAKING) I can't believe the first time Aaron's seen me tits was when I was in that drunken state.
I'm so embarrassed.
I think I lost me mind a little bit.
I think you did and all.
I appreciate the apology, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to soften me up again.
Well, let's just enjoy ourselves then.
- Just have fun - Have fun, yeah.
We'll just see what happens from there, 'cause I can't be arsed going through that again.
Fuck that.
I think I'm getting around Aaron already 'cause I can still see a little sparkle in his eye when he looks at us.
Hopefully, tonight at work it won't be that bad.
Got something to ask you.
Well, step into my office.
Seeing as Vicky's got all the power at the minute, I feel as though I may as well milk this.
You know, 'cause you're the boss now? - I'm the boss.
- Well, you know it's my birthday? Yes.
Do you think we could maybe have a party? Yeah, I don't see why not.
- And you can make it amazing.
- Amazing.
VICKY: There's gotta be some perks to this boss role.
I'm gonna show everyone what comes before part B.
Part-ay! HOLLY: We're all getting ready for tonight, we're going to Powerhouse.
We are taking Tash-on Tours to the gay community of Newcastle.
- Let's go! - (ALL CHEERING) Let's go! VICKY: Game on! SCOTT: We rock up the bar and there's absolutely loads of gay singles, and Vicky and her big mouth is about to get the party started.
First game is just pass the cherry.
(ALL CHEERING) We've decided to put yous up against the ultimate lads.
So me and the lads line up against the singles to play the cherry game, looks like us lot are getting a lot closer tonight.
Are you ready? Get your tongues ready, boys, 'cause Scotty T's coming for your cherries.
Go! 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55 Bloody hell, these guys know how to pass cherries.
It's like watching a game of fucking Candy Crush.
VICKY: 54, 53 I've always been of the opinion that everyone's got a little bit of gay in them, and if Aaron's not careful, he's gonna have a little bit of Gary in him soon.
Three, two, you are done! (ALL CHEERING) Now it's time for game two, sex positions, and Kyle and Scott are going for it.
Fair play, I get laid enough to know every sexual position known to man, but playing this game with Kyle, I might as well be fucking launching a skip around.
JAMES: Scott's done his back in and they've given up, they haven't even made it to 60 seconds, but I suppose that's just the usual for them two.
(ALL CHEERING) Right, let's all go and get pissed.
Work has been amazing and the lads did us proud.
Everyone's left with a smile on their face and I know Anna's gonna be impressed.
GARY: For me, that was one of the best Tash-on Tours we've ever done, so I can only imagine the club's gonna be absolutely wicked.
VICKY: I really hope Aaron and Marnie stop arguing.
When they're go out together, they look so happy.
Vicky's telling us that me and Marnie are good together.
Maybe she's right, 'cause there must be a reason that we keep going back to each other.
(BOTH SPEAKING) Fuck it, Vicky's right, I might as well go for it.
It's not as if I'm gonna pull in here.
At the beginning of the night, I didn't think that this would happen, but me and Aaron are back to normal, we're even necking on.
To be honest, I really like her and I can't keep away.
(CHEERING) (BOTH SPEAKING) Gary's asking us about Mitch.
Eh? Things haven't been great with Mitch for a long time and I don't wanna lie any more, it's time I told someone what was really going on.
It's been a while since I talked to Charlotte.
When I eventually speak to her about her relationship, it turns out things aren't as good as I thought they were.
We're gonna hit the rocks! With me and Charlotte, don't get us wrong, I was never a knight in shining armour, but if things are going wrong, I'll always be there to make her happy again.
VICKY: Within about 30 seconds of Charlotte talking to Gary, she's already in tears.
He's probably asked her for a fucking threesome, the insensitive prick.
GARY: I was talking to Charlotte about Mitch in a funny way and having a laugh with her and Vicky goes in there and makes her cry.
Well done, Vicky.
(VICKY AND CHARLOTTE SPEAKING) If you've got a questionable rash on your genitals, Gary's your man.
Relationship advice? Uh-uh! (CHARLOTTE SPEAKING) CHARLOTTE: Gary is always a touchy subject with Vicky, 'cause she either hates him or she's necking on with him, and the fact that I told Gary about Mitch first and not Vicky, hasn't went down well at all.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (MARNIE SPEAKING) - (GIGGLES) - What? Marnie's asking if we should go back and have sex.
She might be joking, but I'm willing to take that chance.
GARY: Out of the corner of me eye, I see Aaron and Marnie sneaking off for a taxi.
Aaron she's not gonna bang you, she's gonna string you along like she did to Scott.
MARNIE: I'm feeling so horny.
I just wanna get Aaron in the taxi and get home.
Get me back into that house and into Marnie's knickers.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) I was under the impression that Charlotte and Mitch were so happy, but now Charlotte's telling me that they're a little bit on the rocks and I'm so shocked.
I can't believe she's kept this from me.
(ALL TALKING) Yeah.
The girls have really got me back, they're reassuring us, saying I shouldn't be going through this by meself, and it's making us feel so much better about the situation.
(VICKY SPEAKING) Everyone's absolutely mortal, so it's time to get back to the house and call it a night.
Get back to the house and Marnie and Aaron are nowhere to be seen.
I bet you any money they're in the shag pad and I bet you a million percent that absolutely nothing is happening.
It seems like all the lads have got the same opinion.
Marnie is playing Aaron and Aaron is playing with fire.
(AARON SPEAKING) No, you have got me wrapped around your little finger.
I might have started the night pissed off at Marnie, but, obviously, she's got a hold on us.
Tonight, in general, was fucking mint craic, - do you know what I mean? - Definitely, definitely.
Everyone's mortal, it's been such a good night, but it's time to get to bed.
VICKY: Lights off.
MARNIE: Aaron! (AARON LAUGHING) I know Aaron wants to sleep with us, but he's gonna have to prove hisself first.
I know if I sleep with him too soon things can all go wrong.
Were you okay after last night, anyway? You were really upset? Yeah, I'm okay now, I'm glad I told yous about it.
Last night Charlotte confessed that things aren't going that well between her and Mitch.
I feel terrible that she's kept it bottled up for so long, but hopefully now that it's out in the open we can give her some advice.
There's nothing wrong with admitting, like, things aren't perfect all the time.
This is just a little bit of a low, but it doesn't mean it's over and it doesn't mean it's You can't fix it if you want to.
I feel like I had all of this bottled up inside and I could never tell anyone about it.
But now I have, it's a weight lifted off me shoulders.
Um, birthday, birthday - Hey, it's your birthday, it's birthday.
birthday, it's my birthday! I know that it was my actual birthday a few weeks ago, but fuck it, if the Queen can have two, so can I.
Yous get to meet me boyfriend.
(GASPS) Big reveal.
I just called him me boyfriend.
- Oh, my God, what the hell? - Oh, my God.
Tonight is such a big night, this is the first night my lad is gonna come to the house.
Let's face it, though, Geordie Shore and relationships don't go together that well.
Things were going well with Marnie last night, but I still didn't get a bang, if it didn't happen then, I'm not sure it ever will.
Did you enjoy last night? - Yeah.
- (SIGHS) And you know you cannot stay mad at us for long.
Well, I tried, no, I did try for like I tried through the day and then I just thought, "Fuck it.
" Last night was amazing, me and Aaron ended up kissing.
I don't know what it is about me and him, just somehow, no matter what happens we always seem to end up together.
- Happy birthday! - (CHEERING) Aaah.
This is so cute.
CHARLOTTE: Holly is absolutely buzzing with this birthday breakfast.
If I didn't know better meself, I'd say she was soaking wet down there ready to hoy one of them croissants right up her, but little does she know I've got a present for that.
You know how you're kind of obsessed with unicorns? Yeah.
I thought I'd get you a unicorn horn for your fairy.
- Oh, my God.
- It's a dildo! (LAUGHS) This is the best start to my birthday party day ever, croissants and dildos.
To Holly's birthday.
- (ALL CHEERING) - Happy birthday, Hol! Thanks.
If a unicorn dildo hasn't got her excited enough, wait till she sees what else we've got in store for her.
MAN ON PHONE: Hello? Hiya, is this the props and fancy dress hire place? Yeah, how can I help? Tonight I want this place to be a magical forest, I want Holly to be so overwhelmed, I'm pulling out all the stops.
We're thinking, like, trees, sort of giant toadstools, smoke machines MAN: Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, we can do that.
It doesn't matter whether it's belated or not, it's not a birthday without a cake.
So, we want it to have gigantic breasts, and then we also want some little mini cakes that we can hand out to people.
- Like cupcakes.
- Fairy cakes.
(WOMAN OVER PHONE) So we want them to be, like, we want them to be, actual have minge on.
- What? - Like an actual minge.
Holly needs a cake that showcases her personality and her best assets, so this cake needs tits and massive fanny flaps.
It's gonna be a good party.
She didn't seem that surprised, she must have had loads of minge requests before.
- It's quite common.
- Yeah.
- Anyway, you little shit.
- (CHUCKLES) Sneaking off and getting an early taxi from a club, didn't even say bye.
One thing I do need to find out after all that graft Aaron put in with Marnie, did he bang her? What happened when you got back in? Did you actually get anything? - Nah, did I, fuck.
- (LAUGHS) AARON: Last night, me and Marnie didn't even sleep together, I don't know where I stand.
It's so funny, man.
"Get anything?" "Nah, did I, fuck.
" Marnie is giving Aaron nothing! No pleasure, no sex, just grief! The thing is though, with the house party tonight, I'm gonna be shagging, Scott's probably gonna be shagging, Kyle'll probably be shagging, you're either gonna have to pull a bird and be shagging or spoon her fully clothed.
(SIGHS) I can't, man.
Decisions, decisions, boy.
Hols, we're gonna go get our nails done.
Do you wanna come? - What, now? Okay, then.
- Yeah.
Me and Holly are going to get our nails done so that we look top notch for tonight's party, and to get Holly out of the way so that others can make the house look wicked.
- Get your bag, Hol.
- HOLLY: Bye, girls.
I'm gonna need your help, lads! Holly wants an enchanted forest-themed birthday party, if I want tonight to be as amazing as I planned, we need everyone to pull together.
Whoa! It's a mushroom.
(GROANS) This place is really starting to come together, Holly is going to love it.
Oi, oi.
AARON: It's the party tonight and Gaz is right, I do need to pull.
I really like Marnie, but at the end of the day I'm single, so I should be able to do what I want.
Oh, aye.
I'm gonna have to invite her, aren't I? - Are you gonna ring her and invite her? - Oh, yeah.
(BOTH LAUGH) GARY: Marnie's gonna go nuts, but this is what she needs.
Aaron needs to be a dickhead 'cause at the end of the day, Marnie loves a dickhead.
- SARAH: Hello? - Hello, is it Sarah? - Yeah.
- Hello, darling, it's Aaron, you all right? Oh, hiya, how are you? We're, um, having a house party at the house, like an enchanted theme, just to see if you wanna come along? - What, tonight? - Tonight, yeah.
All right, okay, I'll come up tonight then.
All right, sound, darling, I'll see you soon.
- Okay, see you later.
- Bye-bye.
GARY: I'm determined to make Aaron go and pull other girls.
Hopefully, he'll get a bang tonight.
Holly is gonna be absolutely buzzing with this house.
She loves this enchanted shit, and we've gone all out to make sure it's unbelievable.
So, I'm walking Holly in with me hands over her eyes.
I'm scared.
Two, one! (SCREAMING) HOLLY: I can't believe it, it's a big enchanted forest.
I'm absolutely buzzing.
I need to start getting ready.
Right, guys, I hope these are okay.
I tried to pick costumes that would reflect people's personalities, so obviously Marnie is the evil slaggy fairy and James is the tree 'cause he's a bit of a sap.
Eh? I'm the birthday girl, I've gotta look the best.
I'm a unicorn, I'm a unicorn, I have a horn.
Me and Kyle are fauns, when it comes to looking good, there's only one there, and it ain't him with the potbelly six pack.
(AARON SPEAKING) I feel like a naughty, naughty dirty fairy.
Aaron might even get lucky tonight.
SCOTT: I'm absolutely bouncing for the house party tonight, Scotty T minotaur.
Thanks a lot, Vicky, I look like a giant piece of shit.
It's my birthday, it's my birthday.
So, it's my birthday and now it's time to celebrate.
Let's get fucking mortal! (ALL CHEERING) VICKY: Tonight is the night I get to see me boyfriend and I've really, really missed him.
I am so nervous, he's so important to us and they're a bunch of fucking weirdoes.
I intend on sitting in my little love bubble and punching anyone in the throat who tries to burst it.
CHARLOTTE: Vicky's boyfriend's arrived and I can't help but feel like it's a little bit awkward whenever someone like this comes in, 'cause no one really knows what to do.
We just stare.
We'll all ready for the party and we're waiting for the guests to arrive, let's get fucking mortal.
Happy birthday, Holly! People arrive, the party's started, we're all buzzing.
Fucking mint! Oh, here she is, bloody hell, hello.
Kate's here, and she's looking absolutely unreal.
Do I look nice? (BOTH LAUGHING) End of the day, as long as this face is out, she can't resist.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (BOTH SPEAKING) The birthday girl is looking fucking mint and I'm hoping to give her a fauny treat tonight.
(BOTH SPEAKING) I know it's my birthday, but there will be no birthday sex going on tonight, I'm not doing anything.
And, if I do, it'll be with the horn on top of my head.
Holly's giving us all these reasons why she can't get with us and all I'm hearing is, "I do fancy you, "I will get with you, I'm just trying not to right now.
" (LAUGHS) You all right? - Yeah, are you? - You mortal? Nah.
Me and Aaron are being very flirty, this party is gonna be wicked.
AARON: Marnie is all over us and now I'm thinking, maybe I shouldn't have invited that girl.
Shit, it's gonna kick off tonight.
So the party is in full swing, everyone's dancing, everyone's getting mortal, I am having the best birthday ever.
It's cake time and I've literally got all of Holly's fanny flaps in my hand.
(VICKY SPEAKING) (CHEERING) Come and get them, boys.
(HOLLY SPEAKING) This is what I have always wanted, a box full of edible fairies, I've got fairy fairy cakes.
(VICKY SPEAKING) (HOLLY SPEAKING) I'm buzzing me, 'cause if I don't get a shag later, I'll end up dusting one of these fucking cupcakes.
(GARY SPEAKING) The girl that Aaron rang walks in the house party.
I need to get Aaron to start cracking on with her and fuck off Marnie.
Aaron, kid, you must be mental, when Marnie finds out, she is gonna go acka, I cannot wait.
(AARON SPEAKING) AARON: I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little bit nervous about this girl turning up.
I think there's gonna be kick-offs.
Aaron hasn't even really spoke to the girl he invited, he needs a little push, a bit of advice to go and crack on.
Gaz is right, she's come all this way to see us, so fuck it, I'm gonna go and talk to her, there's nothing wrong with that.
(AARON SPEAKING) What the fuck? Aaron's invited that lass from work.
I'm not fucking up me friendship with Marnie again, I've gotta be the one to tell her.
(BOTH SPEAKING) Oh, my God, I can't believe Aaron has invited that girl to this party after everything that's gone on with us.
I can't understand what's going on in his head to want to do that to us.
Oh, my God! (BOTH SPEAKING) The party's going so well, everyone's having fun and the atmosphere's brilliant.
For fuck sake, the girl who Aaron got the number from at work is here at the party, I feel so sorry for Marnie.
If I was in her position, I'd be so pissed off.
Charlotte's trying to make us feel better because Aaron hasn't done anything with the girl yet, but I'm not being funny, why else would he invite her here? I just wanna get fucking mortal.
CHARLOTTE: Marnie is absolutely fucked, she's just doing anything for Aaron's attention.
I'm fucking furious.
I just wanna go, man! I'm really worried about Marnie, she's the only girl I love in the house, I just don't wanna see her get hurt again.
He's been talking to that girl, she's fucking beautiful and I can't compete with the Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop that! This stupid fucking Here, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it! Aaron has made me feel this big.
How can he do that to us? And I hate them wings as well! Seeing Marnie this upset confirms everything I knew about Aaron.
I just hope he has the decency to leave her alone now.
I look over and Aaron is all over that girl.
(SCREAMING) Fuck it, I'm gonna make him just as low as he's just made me feel.
Unfortunately, Kyle's the only lad close to us.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Shit! I look up and see Marnie and Kyle necking on.
Wow, for once, I'm actually speechless.
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle! World War Three is about to be unleashed.
(AARON SPEAKING) Gary says that Kyle and Marnie have just necked on.
Are you fucking joking? (KYLE SPEAKING) What is wrong with us? I've just made everything 10 times worse.
- No, Holly.
- All right, stop being so drunk.
Holly, I've just necked on with Kyle.
- Who? - To make him jealous! You just necked on with Kyle? HOLLY: What the hell is going on? One, he's meant to be her best friend and two, he's meant to be Aaron's? They're both playing these silly little games and it needs to stop now.
Mate, I'm really sorry, she just done it.
- Mate, I'm honestly I'm really sorry.
- It's all right, it's fine.
I know I invited that girl to the party, but that wasn't an invite for Kyle to kiss Marnie.
I thought we were mates.
I'm sorry, mate.
I can't believe I did that, it literally came from nowhere, it felt like I kissed me sister.
I'm so sorry, mate.
GARY: Kyle's apologising a million times and he actually looks like he's gonna cry.
Mate, I hope you do cry, that's what you deserve.
What the fuck have you just done? I shouldn't have fucking done it.
I'm so fucking angry, I'm smashing everything in the house.
Aaron, calm it! But I wish it was Kyle's face.
CHARLOTTE: Hang on a minute, if everyone had just stuck to the people they were originally meant to be kissing, none of this would've happened.
Thick! Oh, man, I'm genuinely sorry.
The fucking sly prick is apologising over and over.
You mean nothing to me, mate, fuck off! (AARON SPEAKING) I'm sorry.
GARY: Aaron and Kyle are arguing in the bedroom, in comes Scott like Big Bird and just starts arguing over nothing.
(ALL ARGUING) How do you justify that? I didn't, though.
What did you do with her? - You fucking shagged her.
- I smashed her all over! Gaz is going pure in on Kyle here, but give the kid a break, it wasn't that long ago that Gaz had done far worse to everyone else.
Sounds to me like he's been knocking around with the double-standards mafia.
(ALL ARGUING) Gaz knows he's in the wrong, but I cannot believe he's squaring up to us, like, I've inhaled bigger meals than him for breakfast, the little radgy.
(ALL ARGUING) (ARGUMENT CONTINUES) This argument is out of control, there's fans across the room, chairs across the room, the dressing table's fucked.
Scott, Scott! (GARY SPEAKING) It's literally like a war zone.
Fucking hold this, man.
I'm absolutely raging, I don't want Kyle in this house any more, he's not my fucking mate.
It's all kicked off, so surprise, surprise the guests are going home.
What an absolute disaster.
I feel like I've ruined me friendship with the lads in the house and it's all over a stupid drunken neck on.
MARNIE: (SOBBING) I feel as though (MARNIE SPEAKING) I feel drained after everything that's gone on tonight and I feel upset 'cause it's a situation that I don't know how to fix.
(MARNIE SPEAKING) Tonight was meant to be a fairy-tale fantasy, but, instead, it's turned into a fucking nightmare.
Right now, I just need me mum.
GARY: All night, I've been grafting this one bird, I don't know about all the other lads, I'm gonna leave them the drama and get in the bedroom.
(AARON SPEAKING) This party was unreal until Kyle the sly prick ruined it.
I'm so angry, I'm just breaking anything that I see.
This night is a fucking disaster.
KYLE: Tonight hasn't gone well.
I feel like I've really fucked things up here.
I'm gonna make the most of having this bird in the bedroom.
GARY: Kyle's pissed me off, so fuck it, he can have some of my love juice all over his sheets.
Enjoy your bed tonight, mate.
(GIRL MOANING) Night, everyone, I'm off to bed with me fit lad.
Despite all the kick off, I have had a wicked birthday, the night has been unreal, but now I'm knackered.
I'm going to bed.
Peace out, bitches.
We've all got to go to work tonight.
It's in Paris.
(ALL CHEERING) Je m'appelle Scotty-fucking-T.
Paris! (ALL CHEERING) It's safe to say, we're all absolutely mortal.
There is no chance I am allowing Charlotte to go anywhere near Gary tonight.
Me and Gary are just friends.
'Cause I'm not doing anything wrong.
(SOBBING) I need to leave.
(VOICE BREAKING) I can't keep on going this way.