Duck Dynasty (2012) s09e04 Episode Script
Drone Survivor
[Twangy music.]
[Ducks quacking.]
Boy is it slow.
I ain't laid my eyeballs on a duck in the last two hours.
[Cell phone vibrates.]
- [Jase.]
Jep.
- [Jep.]
I'm sorry.
Number one, you should never have a cell phone in a blind.
- Well.
- [Jase.]
What're you doing? I'm reading about how to do A-O-E-D-P-S on my own priest.
On your what? - It's my character on a game.
- And they call it a priest? - A priest.
- That seems kind of sacrilegious to me.
[Jep.]
Look, I love huntin' with my family.
But when it's kind of slow, they can get pretty annoying.
He doesn't even have his gun.
It's down here by me.
Jep, that's embarrassing.
You all ain't killin' nothing'.
They all start playing the blame game about why the ducks aren't coming in.
[Cell phone vibrates.]
[Godwin.]
That's why they ain't comin' in, all that racket.
You're violating a number of rules here, Jep.
Sometimes ducks just ain't flyin', dudes.
- What you playing? - I'm not playing anything.
I'm just reading about a game that I play.
Wouldn't it be more funner to play it? Well, you gotta learn stuff as you play it.
Jep, you need to get a life son.
And sometimes I just want to catch up on World of Warcraft without anybody gettin' on my case.
I can tell you what the problem is, besides Jep being on his phone in bizarro land.
- [Chuckles.]
.
- Um Problem is, we need a roof on the blind.
- Okay, here we go, boys.
- Okay I just think that you would shoot more ducks if the ducks didn't see you.
[Phil.]
Trust me, puttin' a roof on the blind, it makes no difference.
[Jase.]
Here's the deal.
Me and my dad have had a disagreement for years.
I think we need to put roofs on our duck blinds.
- [Phil.]
Give it up, Jase.
- He disagrees.
We would shoot ten times more ducks.
You're wrong.
[Jase.]
The thing is, when my dad thinks he knows something, it is nearly impossible to change his mind.
When ducks come over, you go like this.
And get close to the brush in front of you.
And through the years, we have slaughtered ducks.
The last time I remember my dad admitting he was wrong, was right before he was baptized.
What we need is a bird's eye view 'cause these guys are delusional.
Why don't you just get a drone? - The things that drop bombs? - [Jep.]
No! You just fly it over, it has a 1080p camera on it and you would see what a duck sees and then you would know what you look like.
Where would you get a drone? The Department of Defense? Actually, I just bought one.
- Just then? - Just then.
On your phone? Yeah, it doesn't seem so stupid now, does it? - No, it still seems stupid.
- Here's the plan.
We get the drone.
We send it over the top of the blind.
If the drone can see human beings, I win and we build a roof.
If it can't, you win.
[Phil.]
Hey, it's your money.
[Twangy music.]
[Jep.]
It's actually my money, dad.
[Si.]
Hey, what's the difference? [Rock music.]
[Twangy music.]
[Twangy music.]
The other night, I broke open that king cake.
First bite, I chomped down on the baby.
First bite.
Not only did I almost die and chip my tooth - But you gotta buy the next one.
- [Jase.]
Yeah.
[Godwin.]
Well, y'all lucky.
I ain't never found a baby in a king cake.
Oh, you 'bout probably found it, you just swallowed it and inhaled it.
Yeah.
Well, I hear ol' Jep.
He's got a grin on his face.
I got it boys.
Dude, how awesome is this? - Now, that's pretty cool.
- Dude.
So, Jep, how much did you pay for your little toy there? Dad, this isn't a toy.
It's a state of the art quad-copter, 1080p video, gambit control.
- This has got it all.
- How much did you pay for it? Look at the remote for this thing.
To me, technology is scary.
- So that's what we're down to? - Oh, yeah.
There will be a time where you can fly this - to go get you some chips.
- Seriously? You know, the government tracking people and chips put in this and that and the other.
They tell me they'll make these the size of honeybees.
Huh? You know, the government spying on people.
They got, like, a honeybee.
It's just like that but it's just a little bitty thing.
[Makes buzzing sound.]
Like a honeybee.
Give it another 50 years, the way it's going, and every fly you see on the wall is suspect at best.
- [Bees buzz.]
- Pretty sure that's illegal.
Illegal? [Chuckles.]
Is it the FBI, is it the CIA or is it a house fly? Well, I'm going to get away from it.
That's where we're headed.
Forget all that.
Y'all get in the blind, act like you're huntin'.
If we can easily see y'all, Operation Roof on the Blinds begins.
- All right, let's try it.
- [Jase.]
You ready? [Phil.]
Fire it up.
[Jase.]
What started off as an argument about whether our blinds need roofs has turned into a quest to prove Phil wrong.
Whoa, get her on! - Oh, boy.
- Oh, my goodness.
[Laughs.]
Now what? The chance to prove my dad wrong comes around about as often as a successful Willie diet.
Shorty, get low, low, low.
- [Jase.]
Jep, you're making me nervous.
- You want a shave and a haircut? - Jep, I ain't playin' son.
- You want a shave? I just wish that Jep had a clue of what we're on to here.
- [Jep.]
Oh, 360.
- [Jase.]
Jep! Quit playin' around and send it up.
Are you not seeing this? That's a 1080 right there.
But this is the family I'm dealt.
Jep, go higher.
[Jep.]
It's fine, I'm gonna get it up there.
- [Drone buzzes.]
- Yo! [Phil.]
Here it comes.
[Godwin.]
Where's that thing going? - [Jase.]
Where you going? - That way, go.
[Jase.]
That thing's going out of sight.
- [Godwin.]
It's gone.
- Wait.
- [Knob creaks.]
- [Jep.]
Oh, shoot.
- [Knob creaks.]
- Oh, crap.
I lost signal.
- Where'd it go? - We lost it.
But I know one thing.
What comes up I wonder if it's got a parachute on it.
What comes up - Let's go track it.
- Yeah, we gotta find it.
Oh, we gotta find it.
It's got my evidence.
[Rock music.]
[Man on TV.]
Objection your honor.
- [Gavel pounds.]
- [Si.]
Good grief.
- What kind of D.
A.
Would do that? - [man on TV.]
Overruled.
Hey, that ain't Law & Order.
Si, we don't have time to watch the show.
- Hey, get out of the way.
- Si, let's go.
Hey, sit down, there ain't somethin' but 30 minutes left.
My Uncle Si's been out of commission lately because he tweaked his back.
So, today I'm taking him to the chiropractor so he can get back to work.
- The show's over.
- What are you doing? All right, let's go.
[Willie.]
Now, you may think it's weird to make your 67-year-old uncle go back to work, especially since Si doesn't really do anything anyway, but he's still on the payroll and he refuses to retire.
This ain't no Hangtown omelet.
[Willie.]
So I ain't gonna pay him just to sit around and stay home all day.
[Si.]
This smells like a Denver to me.
Also, that omelet? That's coming out of his paycheck.
- Si, let's go.
- Oh, before we hit the road, I need you to empty Sweet Pea's litter, litter box.
I'm not doing that.
You can do it after your back gets fixed.
Hey, he's gonna have to use it today and he won't do it.
If it's dirty, he will not do it.
He'll crap in the middle of the floor.
- [Cat purrs.]
- Si, I'm not touching cat crap.
[Si.]
Scoop it out and then we'll go.
I'd do it, but hey, my back.
All right, I'm gonna do it only because this whole house smells like crap.
[Si.]
He needs to go on a diet.
All right, where's the scoop for this thing? Hey, it should be laying there right beside it.
There's nothing laying there other than 50 cat turds.
[Si.]
Well, get one out of the dishwasher.
You have a scoop in the dishwasher? No, but, hey, get a big spoon out of there.
A spoon that you eat with? Yeah, a dishwasher is, like, 200 degrees.
That kills anything.
[Willie.]
Oh my, I'm gonna hurt my back doing this crap.
[Si.]
What are you doing over there? [Coughs and gags.]
Done, let's go.
[Coughs.]
God, that's nasty.
[Si.]
That ain't nasty.
[Godwin.]
Where we goin'? Two-hundred and 70 degrees north by south, wait - Huh? North by south? - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Southwest.
Normally, this would be the time that I would leave Jep to his own devices.
Pun intended.
[Jep.]
We got about a hundred and three meters and we'll be there.
[Godwin.]
How far is that? I don't know, how many yards is in a meter? [Jase.]
However, if we don't find that footage, I may never get another opportunity to potentially prove my dad wrong.
- This is gonna take us right there.
- How sure are you? - I am, I would say 7.
8.
- 7.
8? - Better than half.
- That's a decent score in diving.
[Jase.]
I will get this footage.
I don't care if we have to go to NASA.
Not NASA.
Where would we go, uh [inhales deeply.]
Jep, you're making me nervous.
Now, I got a lot riding on this.
No, we're going to find Melissa with this thing.
- You named it "Melissa"? - Yes.
You spend over a thousand dollars on something, you get to name it and I named her Melissa.
Melissa is my wife's name.
[Laughs.]
I thought her name was Missy.
Melissa Louis Robertson.
I named my hot tub Bubbles.
Eighty-eight jets, baby.
All right, I got a signal boys.
Hang a left.
- I named my dog Todd.
- That dog was not a thousand dollars.
[Twangy music.]
[Bell rings.]
[Si.]
My back is killing me.
Hey, how are you doing today? - Don't let him use that.
- Hey, that's a good bell.
We're here for an appointment for Si Robertson.
All right, if y'all would, y'all can just have a seat in that first room right there.
Do I need to take my clothes off now? - No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Hey, look.
I've got to be naked for them to examine me.
Si, let the doctor tell you what you're gonna do.
I wonder what this guy did for a living.
- Si, that's not a real spine.
- What do you mean? Yeah it is.
The medical profession calls them "cadavers.
" Si, quit messin' with stuff.
Si, look - Hey - Was this piece - Good grief.
- Hey, Si, I'm Dr.
Mayfield.
- [Si.]
Hey, hi.
- Willie.
Doc, how you doin', man? Good, did you break my spine, man? [laughs.]
No, we were just, something was wrong with it.
I'll get it fixed up here in a second.
Okay, no problem.
[Chuckles.]
I've got some x-rays to go over and show ya.
We're gonna put these up here.
Now, I know it looks a little weird.
I don't know if you've seen that before.
[Si.]
It looks like a jack-o'-lantern.
[Laughs.]
- So one of the discs right down here - It looks like a drunk cut it out.
[Scoffs.]
Okay.
[Willie.]
For a medical practitioner, who isn't a psychiatrist or a psychologist, I'd say Dr.
Mayfield is handling Si's barrage of insanity pretty well.
Can you kind of describe your pain? It's itchy, moist, mushy pain.
- Okay.
- Okay? [Both.]
Okay.
Most people would've just tucked tail and ran out of the room by now.
- But Dr.
"Okay" - Okay.
seems like he's a pretty good listener.
What happened that might've caused some of this? [Si.]
I done this in my sleep.
- Okay.
- Okay, I was fightin' 25 ninjas.
- Twenty-five ninjas? - [Si.]
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Either that or "okay" is code for, "I stopped listening about five minutes ago.
" [Dr.
Mayfield.]
The good news is, we can help you with this.
We'll get you over to an exam room here.
That's where I take my clothes off, right? Oh, my gosh, Si.
[Dr.
Mayfield.]
We're good on there.
We don't need you naked, okay? [Si.]
Okay.
[Video game music.]
[Indistinct.]
[Jep.]
All right, boys, so we're getting warm.
[Jase.]
All I've seen is beer cans and tires.
- GPS says it's right here.
- It ain't here.
- Unless it buried in the ground.
- Right there.
You know, if it came from a height, I've shot ducks so high that when they hit the ground, they embed in the actual ground.
- Or in that tree.
- [Martin.]
No, he's got a point.
[Godwin.]
Right there.
[Jep.]
Oh! - [Jase.]
That thing was right.
- [Jep.]
Yes! - Now, how do we get it? - Well? Hold it right there and I'll get my boot.
- What are you doing? - I'm gonna throw my boot at it.
[Jep.]
No, don't throw your boot.
- Why not? - 'Cause you're gonna break it.
Look, I'm glad my family's here today helping me.
But they don't have exactly the best history with helping me out with things.
She's hurt.
We gotta ease her down gently.
- Well, here, hit it with this.
- No, no hittin'.
When I was 10, they helped me go fishing.
No, no shaking.
Ended up with a fish hook in my calf.
Which my dad took out with pliars.
Why don't we just get our guns and shoot the branch? No.
It's like all of their ideas are from Wile E.
Coyote cartoons.
Throw it down and let it go, maybe it'll sling shot it.
No, no sling shot.
[Jep.]
So you can see where I'm kind of worried about taking their help.
[Jase.]
I tell you what we do.
We go get a ladder - We'll have to leave somebody here.
- I ain't stayin'.
I ain't stayin' out here, are you kiddin'? I'm lost.
I don't even know where we're at.
We're in a tight spot.
[Martin.]
What if you get on Godwin's shoulders? [Scoffs.]
[Laughs.]
Yeah, that'll give you about two foot.
What if we put Godwin on your shoulders? [Scoffs.]
What if we took some vines What do you think I'm built out of? [laughs.]
- All right.
- Yeah.
Look, I'm gonna go into attack mode.
I'm gonna get like a squirrel and I'm gonna shimmy up this tree.
Risking life and limb for my little brother's toy is really not something I'm into doing.
- Jep.
- [Jep.]
All right.
We don't need anything to happen to that footage.
[Jep.]
All right.
If it falls out, just sacrifice yourself.
Um However, climbing this tree to prove my dad wrong is something I'm gonna go for.
- [Jep.]
You're like a leopard.
- [Godwin.]
Watch him lean.
[Jep.]
Look, it's already going down.
- Come on, you got this.
- Come on.
I can't imagine anything better than hearing my dad say, "Jase, I was wrong.
" - Hold on, hold on.
- Hey, I'm doing the splits here.
Just a little further.
Even if I have to break my leg to hear it.
- Keep going.
- I got it.
- Keep going.
- There we go.
- I got it.
- You got it? We got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.
Whoa.
- One - Hold on.
- Two - Whoa.
Three, that's all of it.
You want to go look at the footage? Yeah.
Old Si and Phil, they gonna be put to shame.
[Twangy music.]
[Dr.
Mayfield.]
Okay, what I need you to do then is come and go face down for me on the table, Si.
And we're gonna get you adjusted here, all right? [Si.]
All right, doc, let me tell you.
The last time I went crappie fishing I caught a pound and a half crappie and broke two ribs.
You're gonna have to be gentle.
Okay, what I'm gonna do now, if you just relax and the more you relax, the easier this is on both of us, okay? [Si.]
Okay.
And what I'm gonna have you do is kind of scoot down just a little bit for me.
- And I'm gonna - [back pops.]
[Si groans.]
Good grief.
Hey, look, I came up here to get fixed, okay? Not to be snapped in half and then laughed at by fat man Willie Robertson there.
We'll do that one more time right there.
- [Si groans.]
- [Back pops.]
[Si.]
He's laughing now, but hey, one day, he's gonna get old just like I am.
Now this is the one that kind of scares people sometimes but you got to relax.
- [Neck pops.]
- Oh! And look, he's carrying about an extra hundo in pounds there, buddy.
- Oh, golly! - [Laughs.]
- One more.
- Whoa! [Si.]
You think I've got a bad hunchback, he's fixin' to look like an upside down fishhook.
Wow, okay.
Doc, I feel like a new man here.
Well, great, I thought we could help you out.
Actually, my back's been hurtin', too.
It's real stiff.
That's not unusual in a middle-age man or anything, Willie.
- "Middle-age man"? - Yeah, you're gettin' old.
- Middle-age, you're getting old.
- No, my back it's just kind of stiff.
- Stiff? - I probably hurt it in the gym.
- [Si scoffs.]
- And it's in the lower back? - Yep.
- Okay.
I think I got something that might help you with that.
I'm down for a try.
Well, get on over here and get you hooked up.
- Does he get to take his clothes off? - No, Si.
- [Bell rings.]
- [Groans.]
[Willie.]
All right, so what are we doing here? So we're going to tilt you back and that's gonna help decompress your lower back and give you some relief down there.
- Okay.
- Okay? Let me make sure we got you locked in good.
[Both.]
All right.
I'm gonna let you go slowly back.
- All right.
- You ready? - Ow! - All right, all right, hang on.
- [Groans.]
- All right, Willie.
I'm gonna come back and check on you in a few minutes, okay? - Okay.
- All right.
[Exhales sharply.]
Oh! [Groans.]
All right, Will, here's the choices you got for what you want me to read to you.
We got 20 golf tips or a flyer on osmosis.
[Exhales sharply.]
What do you choose? Uh Golf tip it is, all right.
And look, you know who this is about? - Jimmy Fallon.
- Oh.
Doc? Doc? [Rock music.]
[Jase.]
All right, we're possibly changing the future of duck hunting as we know it.
- Are you excited? - Just roll the tape, son, crap.
[Jase.]
The video you are about to watch was shot from Jep's drone.
The drone formerly known as Melissa.
[Both.]
What? You named it after me? No, "Sweet Melissa.
" It's an Allman Brothers song.
Wasn't "Jessica" an Allman Brothers song, too? Almost ready.
So, what exactly are we looking for? - We took Jep's toy.
- It's not a toy.
And we filmed a bird's eye view.
So what everyone gets to do is to be a jury.
And if the human beings are that noticeable, then we need a roof.
We're at a pivotal moment in our family's history.
I perhaps have garnered evidence that can make my dad say, "Yeah, I was wrong on that.
" Now, Phil, you can state your argument on blinds with roofs.
- Don't need them.
- That's Phil's position.
[Si.]
Two to one.
Maybe once a decade does somebody in my family look around and say, "Huh.
I guess I was wrong on that.
" I just think you're gonna do better if you have a roof.
'Cause I know this about my family.
They're passionate and stubborn.
Even when they're clearly wrong.
'Cause look, some people that we hunt with, I'm not gonna mention any names, some people actually feel like they're invisible.
I am invisible.
This is a stupid exercise.
- What's gotten into him? - [Willie.]
He's got his back fixed.
- He's a new man.
- [Si.]
Sure they're gonna see you! They're up in the air above you! [Phil.]
Take your natural glycerin tablet and calm down.
Which is why I brought my own set of impartial jurors to back me up.
Okay, we have action.
[Phil.]
So the duck is making a circle.
So far, no visible human beings.
- He's lookin', he's circling.
- There he goes.
He says, "I'm gonna go in right there.
" [Jase.]
There's the decoys.
[Phil.]
There's the decoys.
- No visible human beings.
- [Si.]
Nope.
- No visible human beings.
- [Si.]
Nope, nope.
- [Jase.]
And look.
- [Phil.]
Can't see us.
- [Exclaiming.]
- Whoa, now, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Melissa.]
Hello.
- [Jase.]
Look at that.
- [Phil.]
Hmm.
- [Jase.]
Well? - Huh.
What do you think? - [Drum roll.]
- [Bell dings.]
Yes! Well, I know I have some strong opinions, no doubt about that.
However, I must say that I do know when I'm licked.
Si, you have to admit, I didn't know we stood out like that.
Good grief, that's the first time I've been sincerely - mistaken in 50 years.
- [Bell dings.]
And all because of the drone.
Good night, that's a double whammy there.
[Jase.]
Look at Godwin.
You know what it's seeing more than anything is the top of your head.
I think the jury's fixin' to come in on this and, Si, it don't look good.
It look like to me we got a big roofin' operation after seeing that.
But the next question is, who's the poor soul that's going to end up building the 70 roofs? Me? I doubt it.
All in favor of a roof? - Raise your hand.
- They won me over.
Si, you're in? Yeah, the jury's already out and come back in and voted guilty.
As the winner, though, I do recommend now we think about it while we eat.
- [Godwin.]
I'm in.
- Good call.
[Godwin.]
Do you smell that fried chicken? [Phil.]
All right, everybody bow.
Thank you, Father, for the one you sent.
You have given us peace of mind and a deep love for one another.
Through Jesus I pray, Amen.
[All.]
Amen.
[Willie.]
As you get older, it's easy to get set in your ways.
Especially for a family as stubborn as the Robertsons.
You may have certain opinions that you've had for years, but while getting older may make you wiser, it doesn't always make you right.
The truth is, sometimes you may need your opinion adjusted, or your back adjusted.
And even though it's not always pleasant, that's what family is there for.
To help you get that quick adjustment that will change your perspective and even make you feel years younger.
Maybe too many years younger.
Si, you shouldn't be lifting that.
[Si.]
Ooh, no, I'm a new man.
Ah, oh.
[Ducks quacking.]
Boy is it slow.
I ain't laid my eyeballs on a duck in the last two hours.
[Cell phone vibrates.]
- [Jase.]
Jep.
- [Jep.]
I'm sorry.
Number one, you should never have a cell phone in a blind.
- Well.
- [Jase.]
What're you doing? I'm reading about how to do A-O-E-D-P-S on my own priest.
On your what? - It's my character on a game.
- And they call it a priest? - A priest.
- That seems kind of sacrilegious to me.
[Jep.]
Look, I love huntin' with my family.
But when it's kind of slow, they can get pretty annoying.
He doesn't even have his gun.
It's down here by me.
Jep, that's embarrassing.
You all ain't killin' nothing'.
They all start playing the blame game about why the ducks aren't coming in.
[Cell phone vibrates.]
[Godwin.]
That's why they ain't comin' in, all that racket.
You're violating a number of rules here, Jep.
Sometimes ducks just ain't flyin', dudes.
- What you playing? - I'm not playing anything.
I'm just reading about a game that I play.
Wouldn't it be more funner to play it? Well, you gotta learn stuff as you play it.
Jep, you need to get a life son.
And sometimes I just want to catch up on World of Warcraft without anybody gettin' on my case.
I can tell you what the problem is, besides Jep being on his phone in bizarro land.
- [Chuckles.]
.
- Um Problem is, we need a roof on the blind.
- Okay, here we go, boys.
- Okay I just think that you would shoot more ducks if the ducks didn't see you.
[Phil.]
Trust me, puttin' a roof on the blind, it makes no difference.
[Jase.]
Here's the deal.
Me and my dad have had a disagreement for years.
I think we need to put roofs on our duck blinds.
- [Phil.]
Give it up, Jase.
- He disagrees.
We would shoot ten times more ducks.
You're wrong.
[Jase.]
The thing is, when my dad thinks he knows something, it is nearly impossible to change his mind.
When ducks come over, you go like this.
And get close to the brush in front of you.
And through the years, we have slaughtered ducks.
The last time I remember my dad admitting he was wrong, was right before he was baptized.
What we need is a bird's eye view 'cause these guys are delusional.
Why don't you just get a drone? - The things that drop bombs? - [Jep.]
No! You just fly it over, it has a 1080p camera on it and you would see what a duck sees and then you would know what you look like.
Where would you get a drone? The Department of Defense? Actually, I just bought one.
- Just then? - Just then.
On your phone? Yeah, it doesn't seem so stupid now, does it? - No, it still seems stupid.
- Here's the plan.
We get the drone.
We send it over the top of the blind.
If the drone can see human beings, I win and we build a roof.
If it can't, you win.
[Phil.]
Hey, it's your money.
[Twangy music.]
[Jep.]
It's actually my money, dad.
[Si.]
Hey, what's the difference? [Rock music.]
[Twangy music.]
[Twangy music.]
The other night, I broke open that king cake.
First bite, I chomped down on the baby.
First bite.
Not only did I almost die and chip my tooth - But you gotta buy the next one.
- [Jase.]
Yeah.
[Godwin.]
Well, y'all lucky.
I ain't never found a baby in a king cake.
Oh, you 'bout probably found it, you just swallowed it and inhaled it.
Yeah.
Well, I hear ol' Jep.
He's got a grin on his face.
I got it boys.
Dude, how awesome is this? - Now, that's pretty cool.
- Dude.
So, Jep, how much did you pay for your little toy there? Dad, this isn't a toy.
It's a state of the art quad-copter, 1080p video, gambit control.
- This has got it all.
- How much did you pay for it? Look at the remote for this thing.
To me, technology is scary.
- So that's what we're down to? - Oh, yeah.
There will be a time where you can fly this - to go get you some chips.
- Seriously? You know, the government tracking people and chips put in this and that and the other.
They tell me they'll make these the size of honeybees.
Huh? You know, the government spying on people.
They got, like, a honeybee.
It's just like that but it's just a little bitty thing.
[Makes buzzing sound.]
Like a honeybee.
Give it another 50 years, the way it's going, and every fly you see on the wall is suspect at best.
- [Bees buzz.]
- Pretty sure that's illegal.
Illegal? [Chuckles.]
Is it the FBI, is it the CIA or is it a house fly? Well, I'm going to get away from it.
That's where we're headed.
Forget all that.
Y'all get in the blind, act like you're huntin'.
If we can easily see y'all, Operation Roof on the Blinds begins.
- All right, let's try it.
- [Jase.]
You ready? [Phil.]
Fire it up.
[Jase.]
What started off as an argument about whether our blinds need roofs has turned into a quest to prove Phil wrong.
Whoa, get her on! - Oh, boy.
- Oh, my goodness.
[Laughs.]
Now what? The chance to prove my dad wrong comes around about as often as a successful Willie diet.
Shorty, get low, low, low.
- [Jase.]
Jep, you're making me nervous.
- You want a shave and a haircut? - Jep, I ain't playin' son.
- You want a shave? I just wish that Jep had a clue of what we're on to here.
- [Jep.]
Oh, 360.
- [Jase.]
Jep! Quit playin' around and send it up.
Are you not seeing this? That's a 1080 right there.
But this is the family I'm dealt.
Jep, go higher.
[Jep.]
It's fine, I'm gonna get it up there.
- [Drone buzzes.]
- Yo! [Phil.]
Here it comes.
[Godwin.]
Where's that thing going? - [Jase.]
Where you going? - That way, go.
[Jase.]
That thing's going out of sight.
- [Godwin.]
It's gone.
- Wait.
- [Knob creaks.]
- [Jep.]
Oh, shoot.
- [Knob creaks.]
- Oh, crap.
I lost signal.
- Where'd it go? - We lost it.
But I know one thing.
What comes up I wonder if it's got a parachute on it.
What comes up - Let's go track it.
- Yeah, we gotta find it.
Oh, we gotta find it.
It's got my evidence.
[Rock music.]
[Man on TV.]
Objection your honor.
- [Gavel pounds.]
- [Si.]
Good grief.
- What kind of D.
A.
Would do that? - [man on TV.]
Overruled.
Hey, that ain't Law & Order.
Si, we don't have time to watch the show.
- Hey, get out of the way.
- Si, let's go.
Hey, sit down, there ain't somethin' but 30 minutes left.
My Uncle Si's been out of commission lately because he tweaked his back.
So, today I'm taking him to the chiropractor so he can get back to work.
- The show's over.
- What are you doing? All right, let's go.
[Willie.]
Now, you may think it's weird to make your 67-year-old uncle go back to work, especially since Si doesn't really do anything anyway, but he's still on the payroll and he refuses to retire.
This ain't no Hangtown omelet.
[Willie.]
So I ain't gonna pay him just to sit around and stay home all day.
[Si.]
This smells like a Denver to me.
Also, that omelet? That's coming out of his paycheck.
- Si, let's go.
- Oh, before we hit the road, I need you to empty Sweet Pea's litter, litter box.
I'm not doing that.
You can do it after your back gets fixed.
Hey, he's gonna have to use it today and he won't do it.
If it's dirty, he will not do it.
He'll crap in the middle of the floor.
- [Cat purrs.]
- Si, I'm not touching cat crap.
[Si.]
Scoop it out and then we'll go.
I'd do it, but hey, my back.
All right, I'm gonna do it only because this whole house smells like crap.
[Si.]
He needs to go on a diet.
All right, where's the scoop for this thing? Hey, it should be laying there right beside it.
There's nothing laying there other than 50 cat turds.
[Si.]
Well, get one out of the dishwasher.
You have a scoop in the dishwasher? No, but, hey, get a big spoon out of there.
A spoon that you eat with? Yeah, a dishwasher is, like, 200 degrees.
That kills anything.
[Willie.]
Oh my, I'm gonna hurt my back doing this crap.
[Si.]
What are you doing over there? [Coughs and gags.]
Done, let's go.
[Coughs.]
God, that's nasty.
[Si.]
That ain't nasty.
[Godwin.]
Where we goin'? Two-hundred and 70 degrees north by south, wait - Huh? North by south? - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Southwest.
Normally, this would be the time that I would leave Jep to his own devices.
Pun intended.
[Jep.]
We got about a hundred and three meters and we'll be there.
[Godwin.]
How far is that? I don't know, how many yards is in a meter? [Jase.]
However, if we don't find that footage, I may never get another opportunity to potentially prove my dad wrong.
- This is gonna take us right there.
- How sure are you? - I am, I would say 7.
8.
- 7.
8? - Better than half.
- That's a decent score in diving.
[Jase.]
I will get this footage.
I don't care if we have to go to NASA.
Not NASA.
Where would we go, uh [inhales deeply.]
Jep, you're making me nervous.
Now, I got a lot riding on this.
No, we're going to find Melissa with this thing.
- You named it "Melissa"? - Yes.
You spend over a thousand dollars on something, you get to name it and I named her Melissa.
Melissa is my wife's name.
[Laughs.]
I thought her name was Missy.
Melissa Louis Robertson.
I named my hot tub Bubbles.
Eighty-eight jets, baby.
All right, I got a signal boys.
Hang a left.
- I named my dog Todd.
- That dog was not a thousand dollars.
[Twangy music.]
[Bell rings.]
[Si.]
My back is killing me.
Hey, how are you doing today? - Don't let him use that.
- Hey, that's a good bell.
We're here for an appointment for Si Robertson.
All right, if y'all would, y'all can just have a seat in that first room right there.
Do I need to take my clothes off now? - No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Hey, look.
I've got to be naked for them to examine me.
Si, let the doctor tell you what you're gonna do.
I wonder what this guy did for a living.
- Si, that's not a real spine.
- What do you mean? Yeah it is.
The medical profession calls them "cadavers.
" Si, quit messin' with stuff.
Si, look - Hey - Was this piece - Good grief.
- Hey, Si, I'm Dr.
Mayfield.
- [Si.]
Hey, hi.
- Willie.
Doc, how you doin', man? Good, did you break my spine, man? [laughs.]
No, we were just, something was wrong with it.
I'll get it fixed up here in a second.
Okay, no problem.
[Chuckles.]
I've got some x-rays to go over and show ya.
We're gonna put these up here.
Now, I know it looks a little weird.
I don't know if you've seen that before.
[Si.]
It looks like a jack-o'-lantern.
[Laughs.]
- So one of the discs right down here - It looks like a drunk cut it out.
[Scoffs.]
Okay.
[Willie.]
For a medical practitioner, who isn't a psychiatrist or a psychologist, I'd say Dr.
Mayfield is handling Si's barrage of insanity pretty well.
Can you kind of describe your pain? It's itchy, moist, mushy pain.
- Okay.
- Okay? [Both.]
Okay.
Most people would've just tucked tail and ran out of the room by now.
- But Dr.
"Okay" - Okay.
seems like he's a pretty good listener.
What happened that might've caused some of this? [Si.]
I done this in my sleep.
- Okay.
- Okay, I was fightin' 25 ninjas.
- Twenty-five ninjas? - [Si.]
Yeah.
- Okay.
- Either that or "okay" is code for, "I stopped listening about five minutes ago.
" [Dr.
Mayfield.]
The good news is, we can help you with this.
We'll get you over to an exam room here.
That's where I take my clothes off, right? Oh, my gosh, Si.
[Dr.
Mayfield.]
We're good on there.
We don't need you naked, okay? [Si.]
Okay.
[Video game music.]
[Indistinct.]
[Jep.]
All right, boys, so we're getting warm.
[Jase.]
All I've seen is beer cans and tires.
- GPS says it's right here.
- It ain't here.
- Unless it buried in the ground.
- Right there.
You know, if it came from a height, I've shot ducks so high that when they hit the ground, they embed in the actual ground.
- Or in that tree.
- [Martin.]
No, he's got a point.
[Godwin.]
Right there.
[Jep.]
Oh! - [Jase.]
That thing was right.
- [Jep.]
Yes! - Now, how do we get it? - Well? Hold it right there and I'll get my boot.
- What are you doing? - I'm gonna throw my boot at it.
[Jep.]
No, don't throw your boot.
- Why not? - 'Cause you're gonna break it.
Look, I'm glad my family's here today helping me.
But they don't have exactly the best history with helping me out with things.
She's hurt.
We gotta ease her down gently.
- Well, here, hit it with this.
- No, no hittin'.
When I was 10, they helped me go fishing.
No, no shaking.
Ended up with a fish hook in my calf.
Which my dad took out with pliars.
Why don't we just get our guns and shoot the branch? No.
It's like all of their ideas are from Wile E.
Coyote cartoons.
Throw it down and let it go, maybe it'll sling shot it.
No, no sling shot.
[Jep.]
So you can see where I'm kind of worried about taking their help.
[Jase.]
I tell you what we do.
We go get a ladder - We'll have to leave somebody here.
- I ain't stayin'.
I ain't stayin' out here, are you kiddin'? I'm lost.
I don't even know where we're at.
We're in a tight spot.
[Martin.]
What if you get on Godwin's shoulders? [Scoffs.]
[Laughs.]
Yeah, that'll give you about two foot.
What if we put Godwin on your shoulders? [Scoffs.]
What if we took some vines What do you think I'm built out of? [laughs.]
- All right.
- Yeah.
Look, I'm gonna go into attack mode.
I'm gonna get like a squirrel and I'm gonna shimmy up this tree.
Risking life and limb for my little brother's toy is really not something I'm into doing.
- Jep.
- [Jep.]
All right.
We don't need anything to happen to that footage.
[Jep.]
All right.
If it falls out, just sacrifice yourself.
Um However, climbing this tree to prove my dad wrong is something I'm gonna go for.
- [Jep.]
You're like a leopard.
- [Godwin.]
Watch him lean.
[Jep.]
Look, it's already going down.
- Come on, you got this.
- Come on.
I can't imagine anything better than hearing my dad say, "Jase, I was wrong.
" - Hold on, hold on.
- Hey, I'm doing the splits here.
Just a little further.
Even if I have to break my leg to hear it.
- Keep going.
- I got it.
- Keep going.
- There we go.
- I got it.
- You got it? We got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.
Whoa.
- One - Hold on.
- Two - Whoa.
Three, that's all of it.
You want to go look at the footage? Yeah.
Old Si and Phil, they gonna be put to shame.
[Twangy music.]
[Dr.
Mayfield.]
Okay, what I need you to do then is come and go face down for me on the table, Si.
And we're gonna get you adjusted here, all right? [Si.]
All right, doc, let me tell you.
The last time I went crappie fishing I caught a pound and a half crappie and broke two ribs.
You're gonna have to be gentle.
Okay, what I'm gonna do now, if you just relax and the more you relax, the easier this is on both of us, okay? [Si.]
Okay.
And what I'm gonna have you do is kind of scoot down just a little bit for me.
- And I'm gonna - [back pops.]
[Si groans.]
Good grief.
Hey, look, I came up here to get fixed, okay? Not to be snapped in half and then laughed at by fat man Willie Robertson there.
We'll do that one more time right there.
- [Si groans.]
- [Back pops.]
[Si.]
He's laughing now, but hey, one day, he's gonna get old just like I am.
Now this is the one that kind of scares people sometimes but you got to relax.
- [Neck pops.]
- Oh! And look, he's carrying about an extra hundo in pounds there, buddy.
- Oh, golly! - [Laughs.]
- One more.
- Whoa! [Si.]
You think I've got a bad hunchback, he's fixin' to look like an upside down fishhook.
Wow, okay.
Doc, I feel like a new man here.
Well, great, I thought we could help you out.
Actually, my back's been hurtin', too.
It's real stiff.
That's not unusual in a middle-age man or anything, Willie.
- "Middle-age man"? - Yeah, you're gettin' old.
- Middle-age, you're getting old.
- No, my back it's just kind of stiff.
- Stiff? - I probably hurt it in the gym.
- [Si scoffs.]
- And it's in the lower back? - Yep.
- Okay.
I think I got something that might help you with that.
I'm down for a try.
Well, get on over here and get you hooked up.
- Does he get to take his clothes off? - No, Si.
- [Bell rings.]
- [Groans.]
[Willie.]
All right, so what are we doing here? So we're going to tilt you back and that's gonna help decompress your lower back and give you some relief down there.
- Okay.
- Okay? Let me make sure we got you locked in good.
[Both.]
All right.
I'm gonna let you go slowly back.
- All right.
- You ready? - Ow! - All right, all right, hang on.
- [Groans.]
- All right, Willie.
I'm gonna come back and check on you in a few minutes, okay? - Okay.
- All right.
[Exhales sharply.]
Oh! [Groans.]
All right, Will, here's the choices you got for what you want me to read to you.
We got 20 golf tips or a flyer on osmosis.
[Exhales sharply.]
What do you choose? Uh Golf tip it is, all right.
And look, you know who this is about? - Jimmy Fallon.
- Oh.
Doc? Doc? [Rock music.]
[Jase.]
All right, we're possibly changing the future of duck hunting as we know it.
- Are you excited? - Just roll the tape, son, crap.
[Jase.]
The video you are about to watch was shot from Jep's drone.
The drone formerly known as Melissa.
[Both.]
What? You named it after me? No, "Sweet Melissa.
" It's an Allman Brothers song.
Wasn't "Jessica" an Allman Brothers song, too? Almost ready.
So, what exactly are we looking for? - We took Jep's toy.
- It's not a toy.
And we filmed a bird's eye view.
So what everyone gets to do is to be a jury.
And if the human beings are that noticeable, then we need a roof.
We're at a pivotal moment in our family's history.
I perhaps have garnered evidence that can make my dad say, "Yeah, I was wrong on that.
" Now, Phil, you can state your argument on blinds with roofs.
- Don't need them.
- That's Phil's position.
[Si.]
Two to one.
Maybe once a decade does somebody in my family look around and say, "Huh.
I guess I was wrong on that.
" I just think you're gonna do better if you have a roof.
'Cause I know this about my family.
They're passionate and stubborn.
Even when they're clearly wrong.
'Cause look, some people that we hunt with, I'm not gonna mention any names, some people actually feel like they're invisible.
I am invisible.
This is a stupid exercise.
- What's gotten into him? - [Willie.]
He's got his back fixed.
- He's a new man.
- [Si.]
Sure they're gonna see you! They're up in the air above you! [Phil.]
Take your natural glycerin tablet and calm down.
Which is why I brought my own set of impartial jurors to back me up.
Okay, we have action.
[Phil.]
So the duck is making a circle.
So far, no visible human beings.
- He's lookin', he's circling.
- There he goes.
He says, "I'm gonna go in right there.
" [Jase.]
There's the decoys.
[Phil.]
There's the decoys.
- No visible human beings.
- [Si.]
Nope.
- No visible human beings.
- [Si.]
Nope, nope.
- [Jase.]
And look.
- [Phil.]
Can't see us.
- [Exclaiming.]
- Whoa, now, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Melissa.]
Hello.
- [Jase.]
Look at that.
- [Phil.]
Hmm.
- [Jase.]
Well? - Huh.
What do you think? - [Drum roll.]
- [Bell dings.]
Yes! Well, I know I have some strong opinions, no doubt about that.
However, I must say that I do know when I'm licked.
Si, you have to admit, I didn't know we stood out like that.
Good grief, that's the first time I've been sincerely - mistaken in 50 years.
- [Bell dings.]
And all because of the drone.
Good night, that's a double whammy there.
[Jase.]
Look at Godwin.
You know what it's seeing more than anything is the top of your head.
I think the jury's fixin' to come in on this and, Si, it don't look good.
It look like to me we got a big roofin' operation after seeing that.
But the next question is, who's the poor soul that's going to end up building the 70 roofs? Me? I doubt it.
All in favor of a roof? - Raise your hand.
- They won me over.
Si, you're in? Yeah, the jury's already out and come back in and voted guilty.
As the winner, though, I do recommend now we think about it while we eat.
- [Godwin.]
I'm in.
- Good call.
[Godwin.]
Do you smell that fried chicken? [Phil.]
All right, everybody bow.
Thank you, Father, for the one you sent.
You have given us peace of mind and a deep love for one another.
Through Jesus I pray, Amen.
[All.]
Amen.
[Willie.]
As you get older, it's easy to get set in your ways.
Especially for a family as stubborn as the Robertsons.
You may have certain opinions that you've had for years, but while getting older may make you wiser, it doesn't always make you right.
The truth is, sometimes you may need your opinion adjusted, or your back adjusted.
And even though it's not always pleasant, that's what family is there for.
To help you get that quick adjustment that will change your perspective and even make you feel years younger.
Maybe too many years younger.
Si, you shouldn't be lifting that.
[Si.]
Ooh, no, I'm a new man.
Ah, oh.