RuPaul's Drag Race (2009) s09e04 Episode Script
Good Morning Bitches
1 - Previously on "RuPaul's Drag Race" - There's always been tension with me and Eureka.
Maybe she has an issue with the fact that every pageant that we've been in, I beat her.
- You need to create a totally original fairytale princess and sassy sidekick.
Trinity Taylor.
- This is really fun, and then you showed us your starfish.
- Itch cream.
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Aja.
- I am Princess Disastah's smoke cloud.
- I literally had no clue what was going on tonight.
I also think that your makeup is very dark.
- Kimora Blac.
- My name is Funky Monkey from Banana Kingdom.
- Trinity Taylor, you're the winner of this week's challenge.
Aja, shantay, you stay.
Kimora Blac, sashay away.
- Yes! Finally! - Oh, Kimore.
- Oh, Kimora's gone and I am so sad.
- How do you feel after that lip sync for your life, baby? - I just feel like I walked into here thinking like I was unstoppable, and now I feel like I really need to reevaluate.
- For Aja, the challenge is going to be not becoming bitter because she sees herself as a superstar.
And to be told your makeup is off, your outfit isn't great is a bit of an ego check for her.
- So Trinity, last week when you said that you were coming for Valentina's spot, how does it feel to be coming for Valentina's spot? -Uh-oh.
-Ooh! - Shade.
- Well, as long as we're being real, I don't think Valentina should've been top three.
- Valentina, you know I live for you, but I think it was a little misjudged tonight.
- These girls can continue to talk about me.
They're not the judges.
I'm ready to be, like, hmm, hmm.
Whew.
I'm focused.
- Shea, I can't.
- Bitch, I wore four items.
I wore a panty, a chap and a coat.
- Valentina came down the runway-- I'm talking about you, bitch-- In a leotard.
I just don't understand the hype about Valentina.
Listening to the judges critiques, I felt ugly.
To hear someone constantly get praised for just being pretty when I'm trying to compensate with everything else I have, it sucks.
People always undermine my drag.
But you know what, girl? I think that I'm amazing.
That there's people who think I'm amazing.
I deserve to be in this competition.
- Aja's true colors are coming out.
She presents herself as this person that's confident, but there's a lot of insecurity there.
- I'm going to win next challenge, mark my word.
Coming for you, Ms.
Trinity! [car engine starts.]
- The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race" receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics and a cash prize of $100,000.
With extra special guest judges "Unreal's" Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman and Naya Rivera.
- RuPaul's Drag Race - May the best woman - Best woman win - Can you feel the love? - Hi, hi-hi.
Aah! [all laugh.]
- I pass the third episode.
Yes! You know, three is not my lucky number from Season 8.
Ha-ha! - Hello, hello, hello! [cheering.]
Now, when most of you are just crawling home from being up in the club, "Good Morning America" and the "Today" show are ruling the airwaves.
Now it's your chance to join the cutthroat morning talk show wars.
-Ooh.
-Oh, my God! - You'll be cohosting two rival morning shows.
- Oh, my God.
- #MorningBitches.
[cheers and laughter.]
Now, Trinity, you won last week's challenge and Aja, you survived the lip sync, so you two are team captains.
-Oh! -Yes! - Now, remember, in morning television, chemistry is everything.
So pick your morning teams, starting with Aja.
- Valentina.
Even though I'm still giving Valentina the side eye, I am really curious what the judges see in her and maybe be able to channel that in myself.
-Trinity.
-Peppermint.
[applause.]
- Slay Coulee.
- Charlie.
- Sasha Velour.
- Ms.
Cucu.
- Whoopi Goldberg is not ready for her replacement.
[all laugh.]
- Alexis Michelle.
-Eureka! -Aah! - Outside of this competition, Eureka and I have a very up and down relationship, but I picked Eureka because I know she's gonna work hard, and I want to show Ru that I can work with anybody.
- That leaves Farrah Moan and Nina Bo'nina Brown.
- I'm going to say Farrah Moan.
We needed a fish.
- Which means Nina is on Team Trinity.
- Come here, girl.
- Team Aja, you're the host of "Good Morning Bitches.
" And Team Trinity, you're the host of "Not On Today.
" - Yeah! - Oh, and just one more thing.
Your show is going to be broadcast live.
Gentlemen, start your engines and may the best woman win.
- #TeamNotOnToday.
- Nina, do not let the fact that you were picked last in your head because I'm glad that you're on our team.
- Okay.
But at the same time, if you're, like, saying that we love you, when we have to choose groups, why would you run past me? I think the other queens see me as a Debbie Downer, the girl who gets in her head.
But I can't just pretend when I'm over it.
I kind of wear my emotions on my sleeve.
- So Team Captain, is our television station set in the South? - There's three Southern Belles here.
- But "Not On Today" I feel like is kind of ghetto.
Do you think we should do ghetto accent? - No, no.
- I think the biggest challenge for Trinity is going to be keeping everybody in line 'cause she's got some big personalities.
Let's just-- She's got Eureka on the team.
[laughs.]
And it may be kind of tough.
- Ghetto fierce like, not on today.
- This--okay, so first of all, as Team Captain, I don't want anybody to talk over each other.
So raise your hand and let the person that's talking finish what they're saying.
- Ha-ha.
Here it comes, girl.
Step one of competitive Trinity.
- Also, I think we would have really good chemistry so we're gonna be the news anchors.
- Okay.
- Then, because you're really good at building stuff, you're really gonna be good at the DIY.
And then, y'all are definitely entertainment.
- We don't talk about who wants to play what role.
Trinity is, like, you're doing this role, you're doing this role.
So, to me, it wasn't a leader, it was a dictator.
- When Ru was like "Not On Today," it did give that, like, tinge of shade.
- Okay, I'm so sorry.
- God, please.
This is typical Eureka.
- You know, something shady.
- Maybe we each could-- - Maybe not towards each other.
- This is me holding my hand up and following the rules that we set in place.
If you're gonna set the rules, follow the rules.
- Eureka needs to shut up.
I'm trying to be a good Southern Belle and not punch this bitch in the face.
- So all three of us just need to have our own vibe.
You all need - If y'all want to be that ghetto--yeah.
- We're over-talking each other, remember? - [squawks.]
- What I think we should do now is break in our smaller groups and then we'll reconvene after we go over everything.
- Yes, Miss.
- Eureka wants it to be the Eureka Show, but that's not happening.
Girl, no, ma'am.
- Coming up - Live in three, two - First up, we have Raja and Raven.
- Let's move on to the next one--oh.
- And next, we have Coco Montrese and-- - Next! [imitates bomb dropping.]
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- We're going to give you the scoop about Justin Bieber's shocking new sex tape with Dame Maggie Smith.
The challenge this week is to cohost two rival morning chat shows.
With my experience working with "Live," I'm excited.
But also, I don't want to be just known as that guy that does Madonna, Cher and Lady Gaga.
I'd like to be known for me because there's only one Charlie Hides in the world.
Google it.
- Trust me, you are going to watch this.
- You're going to want to see this.
- Okay.
You're want-- You're going to wanted to see this.
- You're going-- You are going - Trust me.
You are going to want to see this.
- Cynthia has sometimes a haphazard approach.
And with comedy, if you add an extra word, you can blow the joke.
If you drop a couple of words, you can blow the joke.
- Trust me, you are going to want to see this.
- And just say want.
- Want.
- You're going to want to see this.
- Okay.
Trust me, you are going to want to see this.
- You're going to want to see this.
- Want to see this, okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
But with a big smile.
- Charlie's very strict.
She's trying to correct, like, all the pronunciation, and I appreciate that.
But that's what made my character funny, when I just pronounce words that are mispronounced.
I'm Cynthia Lee Martinez Valles de la Flores filla de Orlando Fontaine.
- But we call her Maria.
- [chuckles.]
Charlie.
- I wouldn't-- I don't know if I'd laugh.
- Aye dios mio.
- Trust me, the laughing is going to be dead air.
- Part of the challenge is to show personality, like how to be yourself.
And Charlie, in certain way, is blocking me to be myself.
- Just smile, just like, like, like I want to knife you.
- Don't try to make me something that I'm not because that's gonna be a disaster.
-Yeah? -Yes.
- Hello.
- It's time to shoot our rival morning shows.
"Good Morning Bitches.
" - Welcome to your beautiful set furnished by 204 Events.
Isn't is gorgeous? -Gorgeous! -Yes.
- This is live.
There are no take twos.
Embrace the mistakes because some of the best magic comes out of the stuff that went wrong.
All right.
Take your place at the table.
We're almost live.
And we are ready in five, four, three - Good morning, bitches.
It's the top of the hour and time for today's headlines.
- The world's hottest fashion trend is acrylic toenail extensions.
- Oh, dear.
- I actually just got mine done yesterday.
- Oh, my! I may have to give it another thought, Farrah.
- You won't regret it, Alexis.
-I'll drink to that.
-Cheers.
- [chuckles.]
- All right.
We're in commercials.
Let's move on.
Enter-taint-ment reporters, take your places.
- I don't really know where mine and Aja's relationship stands, but I have to do the best that I can to connect with her at this moment.
- Live in three, two -Good morning, bitches.
-Good morning, bitches.
- The latest meme taking over the internet is drag queens without eyebrows or teeth.
-Oh, my God.
-Can you imagine? First up, we have Raja and Raven.
-Next.
-Next.
- Let's move on to the next one--oh.
- And next, we have Coco Montrese and Alyssa Edwards.
- You sure--I thought that was Laganja Estranja.
- Oh, my God! - The resemblance is uncanny, girl.
- True.
- Next! - And we're clear.
Commercial, guys.
- [imitates bomb dropping.]
They have chemistry all right, but sometimes things can combust in a chemistry lab.
You know what I'm saying? - Here we go.
Coming out of commercial.
DIY, you're next.
Go! - Today, I'm going to be teaching you how to work in a RuPaul's chocolate bar into your diet.
- I feel like people just don't eat enough chocolate.
- You know, I agree.
I love eating chocolate.
-Sasha! -[laughs.]
- Do you have a solution for people who love to eat dessert, but hate waiting till the end of the meal? - Why not take a RuPaul's chocolate bar and put it in a salad? -Yeah, toss that salad.
-Stir it up.
You want to try some? - I thought you'd never ask.
- Do you like that? - Mm-hmm.
No.
Sasha? -Uh-huh.
- For queens that love the gym--for queens--mm.
-[laughs.]
-Tastes great, doesn't it? -Oh, so good.
-[laughs.]
- Sasha and I are really leaning on each other.
We're having fun.
The jokes are landing.
It feels right.
- So you take a RuPaul's chocolate bar - Get out of town.
- And you hide it in a stalk of broccoli.
- You're just a magician.
- [laughs.]
- It's a chocolate revolution.
- And we're clear.
Cut! [all laugh.]
Chew and swallow.
All right.
Reset for the celebrity interview.
Let's go.
- How are you? -Hello.
-Hi! - When I see Naya Rivera, I'm like, yes! Come through.
She was always one of my favorites on "Glee.
" - Are you ready to go live? In three, two, go! - Please welcome our special guest, actress and singer Naya Rivera.
Good morning, Naya! - Hi, good morning, bitches.
[all laugh.]
- Well, Naya, what advice would you have for a starlet who's trying to stick out.
- When I first started on "Glee," I didn't have, like, any lines, so I would just sit in the back of that classroom and, like, roll my neck and do anything I could to get that camera on me.
And it worked.
- Congratulations on your new book.
"Sorry Not Sorry" is an amazing title.
Where did that come from? - The book is all about, you know, learning from your mistakes and being sorry about some things and not sorry about some other things.
-Same here.
-Right? - So, Naya, what advice do you have to young aspiring actresses who want to make a career in show biz.
- Find something else to do.
[all laugh.]
- Well, Naya, we cannot thank you enough for being with us today.
-Thank you for having me.
-It was so much fun.
- We'll be sure to see you tomorrow morning for -"Good Morning Bitches.
" -"Good Morning Bitches.
" -And we're clear.
-Best show on television.
[all laugh.]
- Coming up - I don't want any extra breast other than--unless they come with, uh, two-- two biscuits--two breasts and two biscuits.
- I'm confused.
Peppermint's confused.
We're all fucking confused.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- It's time for my team "Not On Today" to go live.
- Get ready! Five, four, three, two, go! - Good morning.
It's time for the biggest stories of the day.
- The Center for Infectious Diseases has announced there's something in your makeup bag that could be killing you right now.
- I wonder what it could be? - I don't know, but whatever's in your makeup bag, you should throw it away.
- That's okay, because I'm sure whatever I have in my makeup bag would certainly kill you.
Uh, like your husband's business card.
- [fake laugh.]
- And in health and science news, all of Michelle Visage's fans have come together to create a crowdfunding campaign to pay for her breast reduction surgery.
You know, I don't want any extra breast other than--unless they come with, uh, two-- two biscuits--two breasts and two biscuits.
Jesus.
- Now for the enter-taint-ment report with Charlie Hides and Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
- Good morning.
Today, we're talking social media.
There's a fun new game people are playing on the internet called #SophiesChoices.
I give you two scenarios.
You tell me which one of the two you'd choose.
You have to lick ice cream off Nick Jonas' abs or eat fudge off Chris Hemsworth's chest.
- Let me tell you something.
I'm intolerant lactose.
I don't mind to go all the way to the hospital just only to eat that banana split.
- [laughs.]
- Do you have a question for me? -I got a question for you.
-Good.
- You get one night with Justin Bieber totally naked or one night with Justin Bieber's money.
- So I would probably have sex with him, have a hidden camera, send the pictures to TMZ and then keep the money.
- I'm gonna keep the money because I don't know if Justin had the opportunity to deal with my cucu.
It's time for -Who Done Wore It Better.
-Who Done Wore It Better.
- Detox, the drag queen or Detox, the pussycat? - The cat looks incredible.
- [laughs.]
- I'm looking at Detox the pussycat's hair and it looks a little bit like Winifred from "Hocus Post--Pocus"? - Charlie, what's going on? He is cold as a dead body.
He's so tense, so nervous.
- I think we're gonna earn favor of our--one of our favorite drag queens, Bob--uh, sorry, Thorgy Thor.
Shantay -You stay! -You stay! - And finally-- well, that's about all-- that's about all the time we have for right now.
- Don't touch the dial! - Don't touch me.
- And we're clear.
Commercial, guys.
We're live in three, two, go.
- Welcome back.
It's eight past the hour.
- Eureka and Nina Bo-nina Brown are here to give us some-- give us some tips on how to do drag on a dime.
- All right, Nina.
Now, this lace right here, it is 100% human hair, but it costs $7,300.
- Girl, what you need to do is, honey, get your platinum EBT card, girl.
- Okay.
- And go on down to the Dollar Store, girl, and get you a lavish ramen noodle wig, girl.
- Oh.
Is it beef flavor? - Ooh, chicken, bitch.
Goes for a mere price of $6.
00.
- Oh, it looks good and tastes good, girl.
-Hey.
-Okay.
Now, let's move on.
We've got these ass cheek pads, honey.
Gel.
Per cheek, $200.
- Girl, a cheek.
You're doing it all wrong, mama.
Get this ham, girl.
For the mere price of $8.
00, honey.
- $8.
00, bitch.
- And stuff her up.
Oh, oh! - Well, all right.
Oh, she's edible, too.
She look good and she -Tastes good, girl.
-Tastes good, girl.
- Great, and we're in commercial.
We're moving on to the celebrity interview.
- Me and Nina fucking killed it.
The ham's good.
Can I have another piece? - We're coming back in three, two - Please welcome our very special guest, actress and singer Naya Rivera.
Are you happy to be here? - Hi.
"Not On Today.
" [all laugh.]
- Now, I heard somewhere that when you were 19, you lied on your resume to get a job at Abercrombie & Fitch? -I did.
I-- -Did you fudge the truth at all to get onto "Glee"? - No.
I had to actually-- I had to sing and act for that one.
- What's the name of your book and when is it coming out? - It's called "Sorry Not Sorry: Dreams, Mistakes and Growing Up" and it comes out September 13th.
- I'm thinking that Trinity and Peppermint are not noticing that it's time to wrap it up.
- My publishers and I, we just kind of really loved it and thought it was clever.
- It's not my job.
I'm not the anchor, but I'm just thinking Joy Behar, what would she do? - I can't wait to read it.
- Thanks very much for joining us.
It's time to go to commercial.
- Do I get up now? - I'm confused.
Peppermint's confused.
We're all fucking confused.
- Am I leaving? - Okay.
All right, ladies, we're off the air, but nobody said goodbye.
- This is definitely bad.
Bad, bad, bad.
That's all I'm thinking, bad.
- Coming up - You're making a really bad first impression with me.
- Why are you talking over me, girl? - I can hear you talking about me.
- Because I'm upset.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
-Good morning bitches.
-Good morning bitches.
- It's elimination day and our runway today is naughty nighties.
- How are you doing, girl? - I'm okay.
I just don't want to go home.
-Right.
-Me and Valentina didn't have chemistry in the challenge, and it makes me feel really nervous because I just came off the bottom.
I think it's going to affect how the judges see me.
You know me, Alexis.
- Yeah.
- You know what I'm capable of.
Like, it's not my 100%.
- It's really hard when you're in a pressure cooker.
- But I don't feel like I'm under pressure.
I feel maybe I'm overconfident.
- Aja, I'm not gonna lie.
You're, like, oftentimes negative.
You're making a really bad first impression with me because I can hear you in the corners talking about me.
Maybe some advice is that, like, don't focus on me.
Don't focus on other girls.
Focus in on you.
- I just feel like I've been such a disappointment while I've been here, and I took it out in all the wrong ways.
- All we can do moving forward is to be kinder to each other, you know? - Yeah, I agree.
I really genuinely like Valentina.
I'm just really frustrated because I really want this so bad, and I feel like I'm fucked up.
You're a really good person.
I'm really sorry.
- I accept your apology, babe.
Just let me finish doing my makeup 'cause it's more important.
-Aah! -[laughs.]
- Tell me about the work you were doing from HIV prevention.
- I do referrals for clients who--they were newly diagnosed with HIV.
- And it's so important that people know.
I'm of the era when people would be spreading the virus before we even knew it had a name.
I came out just before AIDS became known.
So none of my friends were playing safe.
I buried all my best friends, most of my best friends, andthat's probably the hardest thing.
Sometimes I have survivor's guilt.
Like why did I survive? It was a death sentence.
I've seen so many smart, beautiful, talented people go the route of the pills, drugs, the bottle.
Society was telling them they are not good enough.
The one message I try to get across is you're worth it, you're special, you're beautiful.
And you're worth taking care of yourself.
[sobbing.]
So you gotta stay strong, and you gotta rely on your friends.
- Thank you for sharing that story.
Because of your generation, we appreciate what we have.
- It's important to not forget what happened in the eighties and nineties during the AIDS crisis and how many brilliant voices in the world of art and drag we could have without those losses.
- My makeup is going to be fucking ruined on the runway.
- Do a smoky eye, girl.
- [laughs.]
- Does anyone here have psoriasis or just me? - I have bad acne.
- I have really bad breath in the morning.
- Eew.
- Can I tell you guys about one of the disorders that I have that I'm struggling with? - Eating.
- Don't joke about that.
Eureka, it's really inappropriate to joke about that.
- Sasha, okay, I realize, but why push it straight to negativity? - I don't think she's pushing it straight to negativity.
I think that she's trying to keep the levels respectful.
- By trying to make me look like a bad person? - I have nothing against you, but I have a long history with eating disorders.
You don't know now by looking at me-- - There are other types of eating disorders besides-- - But so many times in my life-- Why are you talking over me, girl? - Because I'm upset.
I make the joke to try to make the air light.
I'm not trying to be malicious and I'm all of a sudden not a good person.
- Can I tell you how many times people have looked at me and been like, oh, my God, you're anorexic.
It's really hurtful.
- I never come at any of you all with a nasty tone, so when I-- - I really didn't think I was being nasty.
- Let me finish, please.
But you had a nasty tone, and that's what upset me about it.
- Look, I'm coming over here because if it came off as an attack, I do truly apologize.
I would never want that.
I am just trying-- - Well, I apologize that you were offended by what I said.
- I wasn't.
- You obviously were offended at what I said, right? What do you want from me, girl? Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg you to forgive me? - Girl, please.
- I think I want you guys to focus on getting ready for the runway.
'Cause it's going in circles.
[sighs.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Cover girl, put the bass in your walk Head to toe, let your whole body talk And what? - Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race.
" Good morn-ting, Michelle.
Girl, did you wake up like that? - Actually, can I have five minutes so I can go put some makeup on? - You should.
[all laugh.]
And the hilarious Ross Mathews.
Now, would you wake up with my girls? - Morning, would I? - From the TV show, "Unreal," "Drag Race" superfan Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman.
Are you hungry? - Positively ravenous.
[all laugh.]
- And the beautiful and talented Naya Rivera.
- This is truly the most magical of experiences.
- Well, make sure you still have your pocketbook.
- Oh.
- This week, we challenged our queens to rise and shine on their very own morning talk show.
And tonight, they're gonna sleepwalk down the runway in their naughty nighties.
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.
Category isFarrah Moan.
Alexis Michelle.
Aja.
Valentina.
Shea Coulee.
Sasha Velour.
Trinity Taylor.
Peppermint.
Charlie Hides.
Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
Eureka.
Nina Bo'nina Brown Joyner-Kersee.
Now, she's reminding me to always use my night cream.
[Michelle laughs.]
Coming up Who deserves to go home tonight and why? - [sobs.]
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
Welcome, ladies.
The judges and I watched your morning shows and I've made some decisions.
When I call your name, please step forward.
Shea Coulee.
Sasha Velour.
Ladies Con-drag-ulations.
You are both the winners of this week's challenge.
- It feels great to win with Sasha because I really feel myself developing a friendship with her.
- You've each won $1,000 and a year's supply of burgers from Hamburger Mary's, where you can eat, drink and be merry, Mary.
[all laugh.]
Team "Good Morning Bitches," you're all safe.
[applause.]
You may leave the stage.
That means Team "Not On Today," you're all up for elimination.
It's time for the judges' critiques, starting with Trinity Taylor.
- I think you look stunning.
I'm incredibly jealous of your ass.
- But your performance in the challenge, it seemed very uptight, very mean and I don't think anybody wants to watch anybody bitchy and mean in the morning.
- The storyline that we went with, she slept with my husband, and so there was all this underlining despise.
- On a morning show, it has to be a little bit more light-hearted.
If I were flipping the channels, I would keep flipping.
- Peppermint.
- Your makeup does look gorgeous.
I do, however, hate the outfit.
I think that you could have put a lot more effort into it.
- I think it's a little short, so when you turn around, like, we're seeing stuff.
- Though you fumbled the ball a few times - A breast and two biscuits.
- I thought your character was fun-loving.
I don't know whose job it was to, I guess, excuse me from the table so that, as the guest, I knew that I could leave.
I don't know who dropped the ball on that one.
- Can I take responsibility for that? I was a little confused at the end.
- Okay.
- I'll take responsibility for it, too.
I'm sorry, I don't want you to think that you were, like, an afterthought.
- No, no, no, not at all.
But you could get some real bitches that would take it personal, so - Dame Charlie Hides.
- I love the look tonight.
I was worried you were gonna fall over.
Those are some high heels.
-They are very high.
-Very high.
- But what I noticed about your performance is that you are a control freak.
You were so married to those cards.
Cynthia didn't even finish her line and you already, like, look, look, look.
And when you were interviewing Naya, when you ask somebody a question, you need to let them answer it.
- It felt like you were stepping on her lines and the timing was off.
Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
- To me, this does not read as nightie, but what I loved about you in the challenge was that even when Charlie was trying to direct you in her controlling way, you were funny and you messed the words up.
You were intolerant lactose and -[laughs.]
-You are a star.
I really think that you've, like, come into your own.
Really well done.
- Thank you.
- Eureka.
- Again, this doesn't read nightie to me.
This reads dominatrix.
It's so funny how this end is really nightie and that end is just whores.
- [laughs.]
- Well, surprise, surprise, I disagree with Michelle.
You're clearly going to bed.
You're just doing different things on that side of the runway.
- You two were my favorite to watch.
Chemistry is not something you can buy.
That's why this one has me around still.
- [laughs.]
- Up next, Nina Bo'nina Brown Rodham Clinton.
[all laugh.]
- [sniffling.]
I'm gonna probably be like the cry baby of the season.
-It's okay, mama.
-I'm sorry.
I'm just so grateful to be here.
[sobs.]
I'm happy.
- Well, Nina, if those are tears of joy, I'd hate to see you when you're upset.
[all laugh.]
We love you, girl.
Let's go to the critiques.
- Again, it doesn't scream nightie to me.
It screams streetwalking whore.
And I love it! - In the talk show, you were serving me the Lady Chablis realness.
The painted on spit curl was just like the cherry on top.
- But you're gonna need a thicker skin to get through this competition.
I so appreciate what this means to you.
I just want you to be ready for how tough this is gonna get.
- You all worked so hard on this challenge, but I have to ask one question.
Who deserves to go home tonight and why? Trinity Taylor.
- Just from your critique, it would be Charlie.
- Peppermint, same question.
- Based on the critiques, Charlie.
- Charlie Hides.
- Peppermint's look is a bit more basic, so Peppermint.
- Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
- Because I believe she's a strong competition for me and her total look, Peppermint.
- All right, Eureka, you're up.
- I would say Trinity.
I feel like the ending wrap-up might have been a little more controlled if we worked as a group.
And I also felt like she was focused on herself and not really so much of everyone else.
- I call shade.
I take responsibility for the things that I did wrong and if that's the reason why I should go home, then I understand.
But don't tell me that I didn't do my job as a leader, because I did.
And I included everybody, including you, Eureka.
- Well, I was asked my honest opinion, and that's my honest opinion and I stand beside it.
- All right.
Nina.
- Trinity, because she was the captain.
But she did her job.
It's just that we didn't really feel a part of it sometimes.
- Thank you, ladies.
Thank you for your honesty.
While you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate.
[car engine starts.]
All right.
Well, just between us squirrel friends, what do you think? Let's start off with Trinity Taylor.
- Her morning talk show host, I just didn't get it.
- I think Trinity really tripped up with that gag they were doing because it didn't allow her to be her charming self.
Peppermint.
- My first thought was that it seemed like a rehearsal.
- For me, it was more about her outfit tonight.
- The black lace shirt with a pink wrinkled nightie, it just was a whole bunch of a mess.
But I liked her better of the two in the anchor position.
- Charlie Hides.
- The walk on the runway tonight, she seemed tired or bored.
She just wasn't shining.
- She was my least favorite in the challenge.
- My notes next to her name say dead behind the eyes.
Gave up.
- [laughs.]
- I'm just disappointed that a seasoned vet like that doesn't understand how TV works.
She didn't allow the moment to happen.
In fact, it almost impeded on Cynthia Lee's performance.
Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
- She was so fierce tonight.
She was giving, like, X-Men weird angel/devil realness.
- In her challenge, she was so much fun.
I couldn't stop watching her.
Dare I say that we are crazy for cucu puffs? [all laugh.]
-Eureka.
-I liked her immediately.
She was funny, she was real, she was believable.
- If I see a poster for Eureka's show, I'm buying a ticket and I'm showing up.
- When I find where her show is, do you want to go with me? - Girl, yes.
- Nina Bo'nina Brown Bowyer-Chapman.
- [laughs.]
Walking down the runway, she was incredible and in the challenge, she was on fire.
- But the vulnerability is so raw, I just worry about her.
- This industry can be quite challenging, and you can't show up to work crying every day.
- All right.
Silence.
I've made my decision.
Bring back my girls-uh [Michelle laughs.]
I got that from the "Glee" show.
- You got it from the "Glee" show.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.
Cynthia Lee Fontaine you're safe.
- Thank you.
- Trinity Taylor, as a morning anchor, you nearly sank your team.
I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.
- Okay.
- Eureka, Nina Bo'nina Brown, you're both safe.
- Thank you.
- You may join the other girls.
Peppermint.
You're a good sport, but this week, you fumbled the ball.
Charlie Hides, you are one fierce queen, but this week, you put the ain't in enter-taint-ment.
I'm sorry, Charlie, but you are up for elimination.
Peppermint, join the other girls.
- Thank you.
- Two queens stand before me.
Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination.
The time has come [thunder.]
to lip sync [echoing.]
for your life! - This is my chance to show the other girls that if you go up against me in a lip sync, you better bring it, because I'm going to send these bitches home.
I want to win.
I don't care if we're friends.
- Good luck and don't fuck it up.
[music plays.]
- Lately I've been stuck imagining What I wanna do and what I really think Time to blow out I've been told who I should do it with To keep both my hands above the blanket When the light's out Shame on me To need release -What the hell? - Uncontrollably I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay Taking out my freak tonight I-I-I wanna show All the dirt I got running through my mind Whoa, I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay - Trinity is selling the song.
Charlie, on the other hand, it looks like she's telling children to get off her lawn.
- All the dirt I got running through my mind Whoa-oh-oh - Come on, Charlie.
Do something, Charlie.
- I'm not a lip sync performer.
99% of the acts in London sing live.
So I just need Ru to say it.
Sashay away.
- I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay I got running through my mind Whoa-oh-oh [cheers and applause.]
- Oh, my goodness.
- Ladies, I have made my decision.
Trinity Taylor, you went all the way tonight.
Shantay, you stay.
- Thank you.
[applause.]
- You may join the other girls.
- Thank you.
- Dame Charlie Hides.
London, Boston, and now the world.
Sashay away.
- Thank you, Ru.
It's been a pleasure, girls.
I am a control freak.
I make no apologies for that.
And I don't lip sync.
I sing live.
I always said, if I get in the bottom two, I might as well just turn around and walk out because I don't lip sync.
Older queens, I'm laying down the gauntlet.
Send in your application tape and do better than I did, please.
- Con-drag-ulations, my queens.
Oh, and remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in "herre"? -Amen! -Amen! - Let the music play.
- Hey, get it, girl It's your world Hey Get it, get it, girl Whoa-oh-oh
Maybe she has an issue with the fact that every pageant that we've been in, I beat her.
- You need to create a totally original fairytale princess and sassy sidekick.
Trinity Taylor.
- This is really fun, and then you showed us your starfish.
- Itch cream.
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Aja.
- I am Princess Disastah's smoke cloud.
- I literally had no clue what was going on tonight.
I also think that your makeup is very dark.
- Kimora Blac.
- My name is Funky Monkey from Banana Kingdom.
- Trinity Taylor, you're the winner of this week's challenge.
Aja, shantay, you stay.
Kimora Blac, sashay away.
- Yes! Finally! - Oh, Kimore.
- Oh, Kimora's gone and I am so sad.
- How do you feel after that lip sync for your life, baby? - I just feel like I walked into here thinking like I was unstoppable, and now I feel like I really need to reevaluate.
- For Aja, the challenge is going to be not becoming bitter because she sees herself as a superstar.
And to be told your makeup is off, your outfit isn't great is a bit of an ego check for her.
- So Trinity, last week when you said that you were coming for Valentina's spot, how does it feel to be coming for Valentina's spot? -Uh-oh.
-Ooh! - Shade.
- Well, as long as we're being real, I don't think Valentina should've been top three.
- Valentina, you know I live for you, but I think it was a little misjudged tonight.
- These girls can continue to talk about me.
They're not the judges.
I'm ready to be, like, hmm, hmm.
Whew.
I'm focused.
- Shea, I can't.
- Bitch, I wore four items.
I wore a panty, a chap and a coat.
- Valentina came down the runway-- I'm talking about you, bitch-- In a leotard.
I just don't understand the hype about Valentina.
Listening to the judges critiques, I felt ugly.
To hear someone constantly get praised for just being pretty when I'm trying to compensate with everything else I have, it sucks.
People always undermine my drag.
But you know what, girl? I think that I'm amazing.
That there's people who think I'm amazing.
I deserve to be in this competition.
- Aja's true colors are coming out.
She presents herself as this person that's confident, but there's a lot of insecurity there.
- I'm going to win next challenge, mark my word.
Coming for you, Ms.
Trinity! [car engine starts.]
- The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race" receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics and a cash prize of $100,000.
With extra special guest judges "Unreal's" Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman and Naya Rivera.
- RuPaul's Drag Race - May the best woman - Best woman win - Can you feel the love? - Hi, hi-hi.
Aah! [all laugh.]
- I pass the third episode.
Yes! You know, three is not my lucky number from Season 8.
Ha-ha! - Hello, hello, hello! [cheering.]
Now, when most of you are just crawling home from being up in the club, "Good Morning America" and the "Today" show are ruling the airwaves.
Now it's your chance to join the cutthroat morning talk show wars.
-Ooh.
-Oh, my God! - You'll be cohosting two rival morning shows.
- Oh, my God.
- #MorningBitches.
[cheers and laughter.]
Now, Trinity, you won last week's challenge and Aja, you survived the lip sync, so you two are team captains.
-Oh! -Yes! - Now, remember, in morning television, chemistry is everything.
So pick your morning teams, starting with Aja.
- Valentina.
Even though I'm still giving Valentina the side eye, I am really curious what the judges see in her and maybe be able to channel that in myself.
-Trinity.
-Peppermint.
[applause.]
- Slay Coulee.
- Charlie.
- Sasha Velour.
- Ms.
Cucu.
- Whoopi Goldberg is not ready for her replacement.
[all laugh.]
- Alexis Michelle.
-Eureka! -Aah! - Outside of this competition, Eureka and I have a very up and down relationship, but I picked Eureka because I know she's gonna work hard, and I want to show Ru that I can work with anybody.
- That leaves Farrah Moan and Nina Bo'nina Brown.
- I'm going to say Farrah Moan.
We needed a fish.
- Which means Nina is on Team Trinity.
- Come here, girl.
- Team Aja, you're the host of "Good Morning Bitches.
" And Team Trinity, you're the host of "Not On Today.
" - Yeah! - Oh, and just one more thing.
Your show is going to be broadcast live.
Gentlemen, start your engines and may the best woman win.
- #TeamNotOnToday.
- Nina, do not let the fact that you were picked last in your head because I'm glad that you're on our team.
- Okay.
But at the same time, if you're, like, saying that we love you, when we have to choose groups, why would you run past me? I think the other queens see me as a Debbie Downer, the girl who gets in her head.
But I can't just pretend when I'm over it.
I kind of wear my emotions on my sleeve.
- So Team Captain, is our television station set in the South? - There's three Southern Belles here.
- But "Not On Today" I feel like is kind of ghetto.
Do you think we should do ghetto accent? - No, no.
- I think the biggest challenge for Trinity is going to be keeping everybody in line 'cause she's got some big personalities.
Let's just-- She's got Eureka on the team.
[laughs.]
And it may be kind of tough.
- Ghetto fierce like, not on today.
- This--okay, so first of all, as Team Captain, I don't want anybody to talk over each other.
So raise your hand and let the person that's talking finish what they're saying.
- Ha-ha.
Here it comes, girl.
Step one of competitive Trinity.
- Also, I think we would have really good chemistry so we're gonna be the news anchors.
- Okay.
- Then, because you're really good at building stuff, you're really gonna be good at the DIY.
And then, y'all are definitely entertainment.
- We don't talk about who wants to play what role.
Trinity is, like, you're doing this role, you're doing this role.
So, to me, it wasn't a leader, it was a dictator.
- When Ru was like "Not On Today," it did give that, like, tinge of shade.
- Okay, I'm so sorry.
- God, please.
This is typical Eureka.
- You know, something shady.
- Maybe we each could-- - Maybe not towards each other.
- This is me holding my hand up and following the rules that we set in place.
If you're gonna set the rules, follow the rules.
- Eureka needs to shut up.
I'm trying to be a good Southern Belle and not punch this bitch in the face.
- So all three of us just need to have our own vibe.
You all need - If y'all want to be that ghetto--yeah.
- We're over-talking each other, remember? - [squawks.]
- What I think we should do now is break in our smaller groups and then we'll reconvene after we go over everything.
- Yes, Miss.
- Eureka wants it to be the Eureka Show, but that's not happening.
Girl, no, ma'am.
- Coming up - Live in three, two - First up, we have Raja and Raven.
- Let's move on to the next one--oh.
- And next, we have Coco Montrese and-- - Next! [imitates bomb dropping.]
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- We're going to give you the scoop about Justin Bieber's shocking new sex tape with Dame Maggie Smith.
The challenge this week is to cohost two rival morning chat shows.
With my experience working with "Live," I'm excited.
But also, I don't want to be just known as that guy that does Madonna, Cher and Lady Gaga.
I'd like to be known for me because there's only one Charlie Hides in the world.
Google it.
- Trust me, you are going to watch this.
- You're going to want to see this.
- Okay.
You're want-- You're going to wanted to see this.
- You're going-- You are going - Trust me.
You are going to want to see this.
- Cynthia has sometimes a haphazard approach.
And with comedy, if you add an extra word, you can blow the joke.
If you drop a couple of words, you can blow the joke.
- Trust me, you are going to want to see this.
- And just say want.
- Want.
- You're going to want to see this.
- Okay.
Trust me, you are going to want to see this.
- You're going to want to see this.
- Want to see this, okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
But with a big smile.
- Charlie's very strict.
She's trying to correct, like, all the pronunciation, and I appreciate that.
But that's what made my character funny, when I just pronounce words that are mispronounced.
I'm Cynthia Lee Martinez Valles de la Flores filla de Orlando Fontaine.
- But we call her Maria.
- [chuckles.]
Charlie.
- I wouldn't-- I don't know if I'd laugh.
- Aye dios mio.
- Trust me, the laughing is going to be dead air.
- Part of the challenge is to show personality, like how to be yourself.
And Charlie, in certain way, is blocking me to be myself.
- Just smile, just like, like, like I want to knife you.
- Don't try to make me something that I'm not because that's gonna be a disaster.
-Yeah? -Yes.
- Hello.
- It's time to shoot our rival morning shows.
"Good Morning Bitches.
" - Welcome to your beautiful set furnished by 204 Events.
Isn't is gorgeous? -Gorgeous! -Yes.
- This is live.
There are no take twos.
Embrace the mistakes because some of the best magic comes out of the stuff that went wrong.
All right.
Take your place at the table.
We're almost live.
And we are ready in five, four, three - Good morning, bitches.
It's the top of the hour and time for today's headlines.
- The world's hottest fashion trend is acrylic toenail extensions.
- Oh, dear.
- I actually just got mine done yesterday.
- Oh, my! I may have to give it another thought, Farrah.
- You won't regret it, Alexis.
-I'll drink to that.
-Cheers.
- [chuckles.]
- All right.
We're in commercials.
Let's move on.
Enter-taint-ment reporters, take your places.
- I don't really know where mine and Aja's relationship stands, but I have to do the best that I can to connect with her at this moment.
- Live in three, two -Good morning, bitches.
-Good morning, bitches.
- The latest meme taking over the internet is drag queens without eyebrows or teeth.
-Oh, my God.
-Can you imagine? First up, we have Raja and Raven.
-Next.
-Next.
- Let's move on to the next one--oh.
- And next, we have Coco Montrese and Alyssa Edwards.
- You sure--I thought that was Laganja Estranja.
- Oh, my God! - The resemblance is uncanny, girl.
- True.
- Next! - And we're clear.
Commercial, guys.
- [imitates bomb dropping.]
They have chemistry all right, but sometimes things can combust in a chemistry lab.
You know what I'm saying? - Here we go.
Coming out of commercial.
DIY, you're next.
Go! - Today, I'm going to be teaching you how to work in a RuPaul's chocolate bar into your diet.
- I feel like people just don't eat enough chocolate.
- You know, I agree.
I love eating chocolate.
-Sasha! -[laughs.]
- Do you have a solution for people who love to eat dessert, but hate waiting till the end of the meal? - Why not take a RuPaul's chocolate bar and put it in a salad? -Yeah, toss that salad.
-Stir it up.
You want to try some? - I thought you'd never ask.
- Do you like that? - Mm-hmm.
No.
Sasha? -Uh-huh.
- For queens that love the gym--for queens--mm.
-[laughs.]
-Tastes great, doesn't it? -Oh, so good.
-[laughs.]
- Sasha and I are really leaning on each other.
We're having fun.
The jokes are landing.
It feels right.
- So you take a RuPaul's chocolate bar - Get out of town.
- And you hide it in a stalk of broccoli.
- You're just a magician.
- [laughs.]
- It's a chocolate revolution.
- And we're clear.
Cut! [all laugh.]
Chew and swallow.
All right.
Reset for the celebrity interview.
Let's go.
- How are you? -Hello.
-Hi! - When I see Naya Rivera, I'm like, yes! Come through.
She was always one of my favorites on "Glee.
" - Are you ready to go live? In three, two, go! - Please welcome our special guest, actress and singer Naya Rivera.
Good morning, Naya! - Hi, good morning, bitches.
[all laugh.]
- Well, Naya, what advice would you have for a starlet who's trying to stick out.
- When I first started on "Glee," I didn't have, like, any lines, so I would just sit in the back of that classroom and, like, roll my neck and do anything I could to get that camera on me.
And it worked.
- Congratulations on your new book.
"Sorry Not Sorry" is an amazing title.
Where did that come from? - The book is all about, you know, learning from your mistakes and being sorry about some things and not sorry about some other things.
-Same here.
-Right? - So, Naya, what advice do you have to young aspiring actresses who want to make a career in show biz.
- Find something else to do.
[all laugh.]
- Well, Naya, we cannot thank you enough for being with us today.
-Thank you for having me.
-It was so much fun.
- We'll be sure to see you tomorrow morning for -"Good Morning Bitches.
" -"Good Morning Bitches.
" -And we're clear.
-Best show on television.
[all laugh.]
- Coming up - I don't want any extra breast other than--unless they come with, uh, two-- two biscuits--two breasts and two biscuits.
- I'm confused.
Peppermint's confused.
We're all fucking confused.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- It's time for my team "Not On Today" to go live.
- Get ready! Five, four, three, two, go! - Good morning.
It's time for the biggest stories of the day.
- The Center for Infectious Diseases has announced there's something in your makeup bag that could be killing you right now.
- I wonder what it could be? - I don't know, but whatever's in your makeup bag, you should throw it away.
- That's okay, because I'm sure whatever I have in my makeup bag would certainly kill you.
Uh, like your husband's business card.
- [fake laugh.]
- And in health and science news, all of Michelle Visage's fans have come together to create a crowdfunding campaign to pay for her breast reduction surgery.
You know, I don't want any extra breast other than--unless they come with, uh, two-- two biscuits--two breasts and two biscuits.
Jesus.
- Now for the enter-taint-ment report with Charlie Hides and Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
- Good morning.
Today, we're talking social media.
There's a fun new game people are playing on the internet called #SophiesChoices.
I give you two scenarios.
You tell me which one of the two you'd choose.
You have to lick ice cream off Nick Jonas' abs or eat fudge off Chris Hemsworth's chest.
- Let me tell you something.
I'm intolerant lactose.
I don't mind to go all the way to the hospital just only to eat that banana split.
- [laughs.]
- Do you have a question for me? -I got a question for you.
-Good.
- You get one night with Justin Bieber totally naked or one night with Justin Bieber's money.
- So I would probably have sex with him, have a hidden camera, send the pictures to TMZ and then keep the money.
- I'm gonna keep the money because I don't know if Justin had the opportunity to deal with my cucu.
It's time for -Who Done Wore It Better.
-Who Done Wore It Better.
- Detox, the drag queen or Detox, the pussycat? - The cat looks incredible.
- [laughs.]
- I'm looking at Detox the pussycat's hair and it looks a little bit like Winifred from "Hocus Post--Pocus"? - Charlie, what's going on? He is cold as a dead body.
He's so tense, so nervous.
- I think we're gonna earn favor of our--one of our favorite drag queens, Bob--uh, sorry, Thorgy Thor.
Shantay -You stay! -You stay! - And finally-- well, that's about all-- that's about all the time we have for right now.
- Don't touch the dial! - Don't touch me.
- And we're clear.
Commercial, guys.
We're live in three, two, go.
- Welcome back.
It's eight past the hour.
- Eureka and Nina Bo-nina Brown are here to give us some-- give us some tips on how to do drag on a dime.
- All right, Nina.
Now, this lace right here, it is 100% human hair, but it costs $7,300.
- Girl, what you need to do is, honey, get your platinum EBT card, girl.
- Okay.
- And go on down to the Dollar Store, girl, and get you a lavish ramen noodle wig, girl.
- Oh.
Is it beef flavor? - Ooh, chicken, bitch.
Goes for a mere price of $6.
00.
- Oh, it looks good and tastes good, girl.
-Hey.
-Okay.
Now, let's move on.
We've got these ass cheek pads, honey.
Gel.
Per cheek, $200.
- Girl, a cheek.
You're doing it all wrong, mama.
Get this ham, girl.
For the mere price of $8.
00, honey.
- $8.
00, bitch.
- And stuff her up.
Oh, oh! - Well, all right.
Oh, she's edible, too.
She look good and she -Tastes good, girl.
-Tastes good, girl.
- Great, and we're in commercial.
We're moving on to the celebrity interview.
- Me and Nina fucking killed it.
The ham's good.
Can I have another piece? - We're coming back in three, two - Please welcome our very special guest, actress and singer Naya Rivera.
Are you happy to be here? - Hi.
"Not On Today.
" [all laugh.]
- Now, I heard somewhere that when you were 19, you lied on your resume to get a job at Abercrombie & Fitch? -I did.
I-- -Did you fudge the truth at all to get onto "Glee"? - No.
I had to actually-- I had to sing and act for that one.
- What's the name of your book and when is it coming out? - It's called "Sorry Not Sorry: Dreams, Mistakes and Growing Up" and it comes out September 13th.
- I'm thinking that Trinity and Peppermint are not noticing that it's time to wrap it up.
- My publishers and I, we just kind of really loved it and thought it was clever.
- It's not my job.
I'm not the anchor, but I'm just thinking Joy Behar, what would she do? - I can't wait to read it.
- Thanks very much for joining us.
It's time to go to commercial.
- Do I get up now? - I'm confused.
Peppermint's confused.
We're all fucking confused.
- Am I leaving? - Okay.
All right, ladies, we're off the air, but nobody said goodbye.
- This is definitely bad.
Bad, bad, bad.
That's all I'm thinking, bad.
- Coming up - You're making a really bad first impression with me.
- Why are you talking over me, girl? - I can hear you talking about me.
- Because I'm upset.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
-Good morning bitches.
-Good morning bitches.
- It's elimination day and our runway today is naughty nighties.
- How are you doing, girl? - I'm okay.
I just don't want to go home.
-Right.
-Me and Valentina didn't have chemistry in the challenge, and it makes me feel really nervous because I just came off the bottom.
I think it's going to affect how the judges see me.
You know me, Alexis.
- Yeah.
- You know what I'm capable of.
Like, it's not my 100%.
- It's really hard when you're in a pressure cooker.
- But I don't feel like I'm under pressure.
I feel maybe I'm overconfident.
- Aja, I'm not gonna lie.
You're, like, oftentimes negative.
You're making a really bad first impression with me because I can hear you in the corners talking about me.
Maybe some advice is that, like, don't focus on me.
Don't focus on other girls.
Focus in on you.
- I just feel like I've been such a disappointment while I've been here, and I took it out in all the wrong ways.
- All we can do moving forward is to be kinder to each other, you know? - Yeah, I agree.
I really genuinely like Valentina.
I'm just really frustrated because I really want this so bad, and I feel like I'm fucked up.
You're a really good person.
I'm really sorry.
- I accept your apology, babe.
Just let me finish doing my makeup 'cause it's more important.
-Aah! -[laughs.]
- Tell me about the work you were doing from HIV prevention.
- I do referrals for clients who--they were newly diagnosed with HIV.
- And it's so important that people know.
I'm of the era when people would be spreading the virus before we even knew it had a name.
I came out just before AIDS became known.
So none of my friends were playing safe.
I buried all my best friends, most of my best friends, andthat's probably the hardest thing.
Sometimes I have survivor's guilt.
Like why did I survive? It was a death sentence.
I've seen so many smart, beautiful, talented people go the route of the pills, drugs, the bottle.
Society was telling them they are not good enough.
The one message I try to get across is you're worth it, you're special, you're beautiful.
And you're worth taking care of yourself.
[sobbing.]
So you gotta stay strong, and you gotta rely on your friends.
- Thank you for sharing that story.
Because of your generation, we appreciate what we have.
- It's important to not forget what happened in the eighties and nineties during the AIDS crisis and how many brilliant voices in the world of art and drag we could have without those losses.
- My makeup is going to be fucking ruined on the runway.
- Do a smoky eye, girl.
- [laughs.]
- Does anyone here have psoriasis or just me? - I have bad acne.
- I have really bad breath in the morning.
- Eew.
- Can I tell you guys about one of the disorders that I have that I'm struggling with? - Eating.
- Don't joke about that.
Eureka, it's really inappropriate to joke about that.
- Sasha, okay, I realize, but why push it straight to negativity? - I don't think she's pushing it straight to negativity.
I think that she's trying to keep the levels respectful.
- By trying to make me look like a bad person? - I have nothing against you, but I have a long history with eating disorders.
You don't know now by looking at me-- - There are other types of eating disorders besides-- - But so many times in my life-- Why are you talking over me, girl? - Because I'm upset.
I make the joke to try to make the air light.
I'm not trying to be malicious and I'm all of a sudden not a good person.
- Can I tell you how many times people have looked at me and been like, oh, my God, you're anorexic.
It's really hurtful.
- I never come at any of you all with a nasty tone, so when I-- - I really didn't think I was being nasty.
- Let me finish, please.
But you had a nasty tone, and that's what upset me about it.
- Look, I'm coming over here because if it came off as an attack, I do truly apologize.
I would never want that.
I am just trying-- - Well, I apologize that you were offended by what I said.
- I wasn't.
- You obviously were offended at what I said, right? What do you want from me, girl? Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg you to forgive me? - Girl, please.
- I think I want you guys to focus on getting ready for the runway.
'Cause it's going in circles.
[sighs.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Cover girl, put the bass in your walk Head to toe, let your whole body talk And what? - Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race.
" Good morn-ting, Michelle.
Girl, did you wake up like that? - Actually, can I have five minutes so I can go put some makeup on? - You should.
[all laugh.]
And the hilarious Ross Mathews.
Now, would you wake up with my girls? - Morning, would I? - From the TV show, "Unreal," "Drag Race" superfan Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman.
Are you hungry? - Positively ravenous.
[all laugh.]
- And the beautiful and talented Naya Rivera.
- This is truly the most magical of experiences.
- Well, make sure you still have your pocketbook.
- Oh.
- This week, we challenged our queens to rise and shine on their very own morning talk show.
And tonight, they're gonna sleepwalk down the runway in their naughty nighties.
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.
Category isFarrah Moan.
Alexis Michelle.
Aja.
Valentina.
Shea Coulee.
Sasha Velour.
Trinity Taylor.
Peppermint.
Charlie Hides.
Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
Eureka.
Nina Bo'nina Brown Joyner-Kersee.
Now, she's reminding me to always use my night cream.
[Michelle laughs.]
Coming up Who deserves to go home tonight and why? - [sobs.]
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
Welcome, ladies.
The judges and I watched your morning shows and I've made some decisions.
When I call your name, please step forward.
Shea Coulee.
Sasha Velour.
Ladies Con-drag-ulations.
You are both the winners of this week's challenge.
- It feels great to win with Sasha because I really feel myself developing a friendship with her.
- You've each won $1,000 and a year's supply of burgers from Hamburger Mary's, where you can eat, drink and be merry, Mary.
[all laugh.]
Team "Good Morning Bitches," you're all safe.
[applause.]
You may leave the stage.
That means Team "Not On Today," you're all up for elimination.
It's time for the judges' critiques, starting with Trinity Taylor.
- I think you look stunning.
I'm incredibly jealous of your ass.
- But your performance in the challenge, it seemed very uptight, very mean and I don't think anybody wants to watch anybody bitchy and mean in the morning.
- The storyline that we went with, she slept with my husband, and so there was all this underlining despise.
- On a morning show, it has to be a little bit more light-hearted.
If I were flipping the channels, I would keep flipping.
- Peppermint.
- Your makeup does look gorgeous.
I do, however, hate the outfit.
I think that you could have put a lot more effort into it.
- I think it's a little short, so when you turn around, like, we're seeing stuff.
- Though you fumbled the ball a few times - A breast and two biscuits.
- I thought your character was fun-loving.
I don't know whose job it was to, I guess, excuse me from the table so that, as the guest, I knew that I could leave.
I don't know who dropped the ball on that one.
- Can I take responsibility for that? I was a little confused at the end.
- Okay.
- I'll take responsibility for it, too.
I'm sorry, I don't want you to think that you were, like, an afterthought.
- No, no, no, not at all.
But you could get some real bitches that would take it personal, so - Dame Charlie Hides.
- I love the look tonight.
I was worried you were gonna fall over.
Those are some high heels.
-They are very high.
-Very high.
- But what I noticed about your performance is that you are a control freak.
You were so married to those cards.
Cynthia didn't even finish her line and you already, like, look, look, look.
And when you were interviewing Naya, when you ask somebody a question, you need to let them answer it.
- It felt like you were stepping on her lines and the timing was off.
Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
- To me, this does not read as nightie, but what I loved about you in the challenge was that even when Charlie was trying to direct you in her controlling way, you were funny and you messed the words up.
You were intolerant lactose and -[laughs.]
-You are a star.
I really think that you've, like, come into your own.
Really well done.
- Thank you.
- Eureka.
- Again, this doesn't read nightie to me.
This reads dominatrix.
It's so funny how this end is really nightie and that end is just whores.
- [laughs.]
- Well, surprise, surprise, I disagree with Michelle.
You're clearly going to bed.
You're just doing different things on that side of the runway.
- You two were my favorite to watch.
Chemistry is not something you can buy.
That's why this one has me around still.
- [laughs.]
- Up next, Nina Bo'nina Brown Rodham Clinton.
[all laugh.]
- [sniffling.]
I'm gonna probably be like the cry baby of the season.
-It's okay, mama.
-I'm sorry.
I'm just so grateful to be here.
[sobs.]
I'm happy.
- Well, Nina, if those are tears of joy, I'd hate to see you when you're upset.
[all laugh.]
We love you, girl.
Let's go to the critiques.
- Again, it doesn't scream nightie to me.
It screams streetwalking whore.
And I love it! - In the talk show, you were serving me the Lady Chablis realness.
The painted on spit curl was just like the cherry on top.
- But you're gonna need a thicker skin to get through this competition.
I so appreciate what this means to you.
I just want you to be ready for how tough this is gonna get.
- You all worked so hard on this challenge, but I have to ask one question.
Who deserves to go home tonight and why? Trinity Taylor.
- Just from your critique, it would be Charlie.
- Peppermint, same question.
- Based on the critiques, Charlie.
- Charlie Hides.
- Peppermint's look is a bit more basic, so Peppermint.
- Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
- Because I believe she's a strong competition for me and her total look, Peppermint.
- All right, Eureka, you're up.
- I would say Trinity.
I feel like the ending wrap-up might have been a little more controlled if we worked as a group.
And I also felt like she was focused on herself and not really so much of everyone else.
- I call shade.
I take responsibility for the things that I did wrong and if that's the reason why I should go home, then I understand.
But don't tell me that I didn't do my job as a leader, because I did.
And I included everybody, including you, Eureka.
- Well, I was asked my honest opinion, and that's my honest opinion and I stand beside it.
- All right.
Nina.
- Trinity, because she was the captain.
But she did her job.
It's just that we didn't really feel a part of it sometimes.
- Thank you, ladies.
Thank you for your honesty.
While you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate.
[car engine starts.]
All right.
Well, just between us squirrel friends, what do you think? Let's start off with Trinity Taylor.
- Her morning talk show host, I just didn't get it.
- I think Trinity really tripped up with that gag they were doing because it didn't allow her to be her charming self.
Peppermint.
- My first thought was that it seemed like a rehearsal.
- For me, it was more about her outfit tonight.
- The black lace shirt with a pink wrinkled nightie, it just was a whole bunch of a mess.
But I liked her better of the two in the anchor position.
- Charlie Hides.
- The walk on the runway tonight, she seemed tired or bored.
She just wasn't shining.
- She was my least favorite in the challenge.
- My notes next to her name say dead behind the eyes.
Gave up.
- [laughs.]
- I'm just disappointed that a seasoned vet like that doesn't understand how TV works.
She didn't allow the moment to happen.
In fact, it almost impeded on Cynthia Lee's performance.
Cynthia Lee Fontaine.
- She was so fierce tonight.
She was giving, like, X-Men weird angel/devil realness.
- In her challenge, she was so much fun.
I couldn't stop watching her.
Dare I say that we are crazy for cucu puffs? [all laugh.]
-Eureka.
-I liked her immediately.
She was funny, she was real, she was believable.
- If I see a poster for Eureka's show, I'm buying a ticket and I'm showing up.
- When I find where her show is, do you want to go with me? - Girl, yes.
- Nina Bo'nina Brown Bowyer-Chapman.
- [laughs.]
Walking down the runway, she was incredible and in the challenge, she was on fire.
- But the vulnerability is so raw, I just worry about her.
- This industry can be quite challenging, and you can't show up to work crying every day.
- All right.
Silence.
I've made my decision.
Bring back my girls-uh [Michelle laughs.]
I got that from the "Glee" show.
- You got it from the "Glee" show.
[RuPaul laughs, bell dings.]
[RuPaul laughs.]
- Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.
Cynthia Lee Fontaine you're safe.
- Thank you.
- Trinity Taylor, as a morning anchor, you nearly sank your team.
I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.
- Okay.
- Eureka, Nina Bo'nina Brown, you're both safe.
- Thank you.
- You may join the other girls.
Peppermint.
You're a good sport, but this week, you fumbled the ball.
Charlie Hides, you are one fierce queen, but this week, you put the ain't in enter-taint-ment.
I'm sorry, Charlie, but you are up for elimination.
Peppermint, join the other girls.
- Thank you.
- Two queens stand before me.
Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination.
The time has come [thunder.]
to lip sync [echoing.]
for your life! - This is my chance to show the other girls that if you go up against me in a lip sync, you better bring it, because I'm going to send these bitches home.
I want to win.
I don't care if we're friends.
- Good luck and don't fuck it up.
[music plays.]
- Lately I've been stuck imagining What I wanna do and what I really think Time to blow out I've been told who I should do it with To keep both my hands above the blanket When the light's out Shame on me To need release -What the hell? - Uncontrollably I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay Taking out my freak tonight I-I-I wanna show All the dirt I got running through my mind Whoa, I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay - Trinity is selling the song.
Charlie, on the other hand, it looks like she's telling children to get off her lawn.
- All the dirt I got running through my mind Whoa-oh-oh - Come on, Charlie.
Do something, Charlie.
- I'm not a lip sync performer.
99% of the acts in London sing live.
So I just need Ru to say it.
Sashay away.
- I-I-I wanna go-o-o all the way-ay-ay I got running through my mind Whoa-oh-oh [cheers and applause.]
- Oh, my goodness.
- Ladies, I have made my decision.
Trinity Taylor, you went all the way tonight.
Shantay, you stay.
- Thank you.
[applause.]
- You may join the other girls.
- Thank you.
- Dame Charlie Hides.
London, Boston, and now the world.
Sashay away.
- Thank you, Ru.
It's been a pleasure, girls.
I am a control freak.
I make no apologies for that.
And I don't lip sync.
I sing live.
I always said, if I get in the bottom two, I might as well just turn around and walk out because I don't lip sync.
Older queens, I'm laying down the gauntlet.
Send in your application tape and do better than I did, please.
- Con-drag-ulations, my queens.
Oh, and remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in "herre"? -Amen! -Amen! - Let the music play.
- Hey, get it, girl It's your world Hey Get it, get it, girl Whoa-oh-oh