Suits s09e05 Episode Script
If The Shoe Fits
1 Previously on "Suits" Rachel and I were offered a chance to run a firm in Seattle.
It's a place that only takes cases against Fortune 500 companies.
If you want to do more pro Bono cases-- That's not the point, Harvey.
This is who I am.
Harvey gave his clients to Eric? He did, but he still has one more to give up, - Brick Street Athletics.
- Why? - He wanted to make a gesture.
- The dean of a law school.
There's no way you'll be able to do both.
I want this job, and I want a baby, and I don't see why I can't have both.
You betrayed me.
You betrayed this firm.
- I tried to hide it, I swear.
- Get the hell out of my firm.
- You are fired.
- No, he's not.
This shows an utter lack of judgment, and I'm not letting it stand.
I can't work here anymore.
- Brian, please don't do this.
- It's gonna be okay.
No, it's not.
If you want me gone, convince me you people can be trusted to fly right.
And if we don't? If you continue to cross lines, then you'll be fired.
[upbeat jazzy music.]
 What do you mean, "you can't come over tonight"? I got pizza.
I even got those stupid yellow tomatoes that you like.
Harvey, something came up last-minute.
An old friend called me out of the blue.
Well, then, why don't you come by later? I could reheat the pizza.
It'll be 40% worse, but it's okay.
Why do I get the feeling that this isn't about pizza? All right, look, it's not something I advertise, but I watch "Survivor.
" - You watch "Survivor"? - I do.
You shouldn't admit that.
It's an underrated show but I love it, and I was hoping to get you into it.
Okay, then what do you say I take a rain check? All right, but it's under protest.
-Who's this old friend, anyway? - "Survivor"? - What are you, 1,000? - I get it.
The plans weren't for you, they were for me.
Have a great time, Harvey.
You know, just because she gave you a key doesn't mean you're staying here.
Why would I stay here? I've got my old apartment that you're pretending to rent for me.
"Rick Sorkin"? [chuckles.]
You've gone soft.
I was using it as a tax shelter.
And what's the name of that tax shelter? "I'm A Softie"? Maybe I've always been a softie.
What happened to, uh, "caring makes you weak"? I think you're confusing "caring" with "moving to Seattle.
" Speaking of Seattle, don't you have some old ladies looking to sue the condo association, or whatever big case you've got going these days? Yes, I do, but those ladies are gonna have to wait, because I always have time for an old friend.
[chuckles.]
It's good to see you, Harvey.
Great to see you, Mike.
- Is that Gionno's? - It is.
You like yellow tomatoes? And should the slipper fit, I will know thee to be yon fair maiden who so enchanted me at the ball.
But, my prince, I am not worthy of you.
Not in these dirty clothes.
You're mistaken, for it is your dirtiness that so attracts me.
- Is something wrong, My Lord? - No, my Lady.
It's just [clicks tongue.]
It's just--maybe if I-- Shit, it doesn't fit, does it? Of course it fits.
You're my princess.
No, I'm that fat step-sister.
What--Sheila, don't say that.
You're just retaining a little extra water.
"Water"? Louis, my foot's the size of Wisconsin.
And no one's arguing that, but once you have the baby it will shrink right back down.
- No, it won't.
- What are you talking about? Louis, if your feet grow when you're pregnant, they don't get smaller again.
But these were $9,000.
That's what you're upset about? Well, what the hell else would I be upset about? You know what, maybe I'm the one who should be upset because I'm fat and stupid and just cost us a lot of money and I can't do anything right! Whoa, Sheila.
You do everything right.
- No, I don't.
- What's going on? Okay, I tried not to think about it, but I spent an entire meeting this morning calling one of our most important donors the wrong name.
He pulled his donation.
$50,000.
Hey, hey.
It's okay.
- It's just one donor.
- No, it's not just one donor.
It's--it's everything! And I'm so tired and so foggy.
Yeah, because you're pregnant.
And if I can't do my job when I'm pregnant, why should anyone think I'll be able to do it when I have a baby? Sheila, you are being way too hard on yourself.
No, you just don't get it, so just leave me alone! [sobs.]
Let me get this straight: I tell Donna to kiss you, she does, and then, as a result, you ask another woman to move in with you.
It was a complicated situation.
Must have been, because then Donna starts dating a client, breaks privilege for him, and then you two end up together.
Didn't we already discuss this on the phone like a month ago? Yeah, well, if it had been on FaceTime, I'd let it go, but a real friend needs to enjoy the shame in person.
Well, while you're doing that, let's have it.
- Have what? - Why you're really here.
'Cause I'm not buying you showed up unannounced without a reason.
If you really must know, I'm here on business.
The business of begging for your old job back? Because it's too late.
We've replaced you.
Yeah, but do they have a law degree? Shit, I knew there was something I forgot to check.
You see, if you had my memory, you wouldn't forget things like that.
No, I'd just forget to lock my briefcase full of weed.
- The lock was broken.
- Your brain is broken.
- [chuckles.]
- Come on, give it to me.
Who's the asshole you're going up against? Actually, I think you know him pretty well.
His name is Harvey Sphincter.
- He plays it real tight.
- You gotta be kidding me.
A five hour flight and all you came up with was "sphincter"? I stand by sphincter.
But you want something better? How about this.
I represent Jeremy Wall, and he wants out of his contract with Brick Street.
- Wait a second, "out"? - Mm-hmm.
Jeremy's deal stipulates they do no harm to his image, and exploiting overseas workers is textbook harm.
Exploiting its workers? Where's he getting that idea? He went on a goodwill trip.
He saw the factory himself.
Well, if you want me to sell them on this, he's gonna have to give them their money back.
Oh, he's not giving back a dime.
He's not walking for free.
I figured you might say that, so I brought a little incentive.
[folder slaps.]
Breach of contract.
I see what this is.
You don't want me to convince Brick Street.
You wanna take me on.
I take you on, kick your ass.
I mean, what's the difference? Well, in that case, why don't you and Jeremy pop by tomorrow? And by "pop by," I mean sit for a deposition.
Are you sure? You're not worried about losing to a lawyer in his prime? I hate to break it to you, Mike, but I was in my prime before you were born, and I'll be in it long after you're dead.
You know that doesn't make sense, right? It will when you're in your prime.
Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
Oh, and Harvey, to, um, put this in a way that you might understand, if this ends up going to a jury like they do in "Survivor," I'll be the last man standing.
[pensive music.]
I knew he watched "Survivor.
" Suits 9x05 If The Shoe Fits See the money, wanna stay for your meal Get another piece of pie for your wife Everybody wanna know how it feel Everybody wanna see what it's like I'll even eat a bean pie, I don't mind Me and Missy is so busy, busy making money All right All step back, I'm 'bout to dance The greenback boogie Alex, just the man I wanted to see.
Um you survived two pregnancies with Rosalie, right? Yes, I did.
Why? How'd you do it? Right now I can't do anything right.
No matter what I say, no matter what I do, it upsets her.
I've read every book that I can get my hands on.
but none of them talk about [whispering.]
Her being crazy.
Louis, why did you whisper that? I don't know.
[laughs.]
What is so funny? I'm thinking about how ------ you are.
God damn it, Alex, I have no one else to turn to.
Brian left, if Harvey has children, he doesn't know about them, and if you think I'm gonna ask my sister you're out of your goddamn mind.
All right, listen, the answer to your problem is simple.
Just do nothing.
What are you talking about? Whatever's upsetting her, don't try to solve it.
Don't tell her it's gonna be okay.
Just listen and do nothing.
Nothing.
- That's right, nothing.
- Not even-- - Nope.
- What about-- - Uh-uh.
- Surely I can-- Louis, the reason I was laughing was because I know you're incapable of doing nothing, so if you must do something-- and I don't recommend this-- just tell her you love her.
I tried that.
She threw a shoe in my face.
So you feel me now? Yeah, I do.
Thank you, Alex.
I'm going to go ahead and do nothing.
[funky music.]
He's totally ------.
- Good morning, Katrina.
- Donna, what can I do for you? I want to thank you for protecting my vote with that code of conduct.
It was nothing.
It was something, and I wanna return the favor.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about Brian.
Katrina, you haven't picked a new associate and you haven't seemed like yourself lately, and it makes me think that you haven't moved on.
Well, I appreciate your concern, but I have.
Well, how about you give him a call right now? See? Even the thought of it makes you uncomfortable.
Okay, you're right.
I haven't picked a new associate.
And with everything that's been going on, you can hardly blame me for not seeming like myself.
But as far as Brian goes, I'm doing just fine.
I understand.
And if you change your mind and you wanna talk about it, I'm here.
[pensive music.]
 Benjamin, do you have a second? Actually, Louis, I don't.
I'm a little busy right now.
Unless you want to fire me again.
Okay, I get it.
You are still upset about that.
"Upset"? You asked me to do something shady for you, and then when I got caught, instead of standing up for me, you fired me.
And on top of all of that, you don't even show your face until you need something, which is obvious by that greasy bag of delicious bacon in your hand.
Well, bacon is not gonna solve your problem this time, a-hole.
Benjamin, I know I have not been here, and all I can say about that is, I am ashamed.
You wanna know how to make that shame go away? How about saying, "I was wrong and I'm sorry"? I was wrong, and I am sorry.
And I am not just saying that because I need your help.
But you are saying it when you need help.
I am.
And if you don't wanna help, you don't have to.
But it's not for me, it's for Sheila.
- Sheila? - She lost a huge donor.
She feels horrible, and the only way I can think of making the mother of my unborn child feel better is to replace his contribution.
- How much? - $50,000.
Okay, well, if you are willing to part with that much money to make Sheila feel better, I'll help.
What do you need? I need you to run a proxy through a financial institution to create the appearance of an anonymous donation from a tax sheltered company.
All right, I am doing this for Sheila and I will require the bacon, but that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life.
Thank you.
 [sniffs.]
Harvey? Samantha, I was just gonna come see you.
No, you weren't.
You know how I know that? Because my new client-- the one you gave me-- was served with a lawsuit at your condo last night and you didn't tell me about it.
You heard about Brick Street already? - Did you think I wouldn't? - Sure, it's possible.
You sometimes box in the mornings.
Harvey-- Samantha, I'm not trying to take them back.
It's just a little complicated.
What exactly is complicated about it? Hey, Jeremy's here.
Ready to go do this deposition? "Jeremy"? Let me get this straight: not only did you take my client without telling me, you scheduled a deposition with the other side? - Wait, her client? - Mike, meet Samantha Wheeler.
I gave her Brick Street about a month ago.
I might have forgotten to mention that to you last night.
Samantha, meet Mike Ross.
Mm, the protégé.
Okay, why did she just say it like that? If I had to take a guess, it's because she thought you'd be taller.
- I'm the same height as you.
- The lies we tell ourselves.
It's because I'm less concerned with meeting you than kicking your ass since I'm the one you're gonna be going up against, not him.
- Hang on, I didn't agree-- - Harvey, if I may? Look, Samantha, I get it.
I've been where you are right now a hundred times.
It's so frustrating, but I think we all know Harvey's gonna take this client back whether you like it or not, so you might as well just let him do it.
[chuckles.]
That's about as naive as hoping we'll let Jeremy Wall out of his contract.
Well, this isn't really about hope.
It's about Bridge Street doing right by its workers.
And if you think that sob story is gonna work here, you're wrong.
Sob stories are his specialty.
I prefer to call it "appealing to a jury's humanity.
" Well, I call it "bringing a violin to a gun fight.
" Well, we'll see what you call it when I'm done.
Anyway, I'll give you two a minute to discuss who's gonna take the loss.
[tense music.]
Your protégé is a douche.
Not gonna argue with you there.
Then how about not arguing over whose client this is? Because I got a deposition to get to.
You don't even know this case.
I know the client, I know the contract-- - And I know the man.
- You think I can't beat him? Samantha, he used to be my guy.
He travelled across the country to pick a fight with me.
He's never gonna let me live it down if I duck him.
Then we're doing this together, because this is my client.
I'm not just handing them over to you.
Okay, but don't underestimate him.
Whatever else Mike Ross is, he's just as good as you and me.
This is stupid.
You're over him, and someone who is over someone should be able to call them as a friend.
[sighs.]
Hey, you've reached Brian Altman.
Please leave a message and have a great day.
[phone line beeps.]
Hey, Brian.
Just calling because you came up in conversation today.
Apropos of nothing.
We certainly weren't talking about how I'm still not over you.
[laughs.]
Oh, sweet Lord, I just made it worse.
What do I do? What do I-- If you are satisfied with your message, please press one.
To rerecord, press two.
[phone line beeps.]
Thank God.
[laughs.]
Hey, Brian.
It's your buddy.
Your friend with a capital "F.
" Your F-buddy.
[stammers.]
Hi, Katrina, it's Brian.
Shit.
B-dawg, it's Kitty Kat.
What? Who are you? Nope.
Ass.
Damn it.
Ball sack! ----.
Mother of pearl! Just tell her you love me and that it's over! That felt good.
Hello, Brian.
Today you came up in a work-related discussion, and I wanted to see if there were any bespoke files you had not yet received.
Cordially, Katrina Bennett.
[funky music.]
Mr.
Wall, you claim to have seen objectionable factory conditions.
I'm not claiming anything.
I--I saw them.
Those people are miserable.
And misery isn't a violation of international law.
Are they violating international law? I don't know.
No, you don't, because you're a basketball player.
You're not a lawyer.
That doesn't mean I can't tell when something's not right.
And when exactly did you start thinking something wasn't right? When I visited that factory six months ago.
And yet, you're only bringing this up now? Why? Because, like, you said, I'm a basketball player.
I--I didn't know what to do or who to go to.
No, you were afraid you wouldn't be paid your full contract.
Don't talk to my client like that.
And you can't speak to his motivations.
I don't care about his motivations.
What I want to know is why he lied about being contacted by an activist named Charles Hu.
I didn't lie about anything.
You said you didn't care about the conditions until six months ago.
He wrote you 18 months ago.
Sounds like a lie to me.
That letter got me a little concerned, but I didn't take it seriously until I saw the conditions myself.
And what you need to take seriously is that you had one year to blow the whistle, and you are six months too late.
Bullshit, that letter was unsolicited.
It--it didn't trigger his awareness.
He just said it did.
He used the word "concern.
" This is a technicality.
No, Mike, it's the terms of his contract.
I think this case is getting dismissed.
So you really gonna do this? Mike, it's there in black and white.
I don't care what's in black and white.
He found out about the conditions 6 months ago, not 18.
It's not a violation.
Well, you're gonna have to explain that to a judge.
And even if you're successful, he'll be on record saying he didn't give a shit about those people for an entire year.
Harvey, they're exploiting these people and you know it.
What I know is, you're the same old Mike playing that violin to get me to help you.
I might be the same old Mike, but you are not the same old Harvey.
- What'd you just say? - You heard me.
That's why you did this now.
You know Faye's breathing down our necks and I can't fight at full strength.
That's one way to put it.
Another is that her being here might actually make you fight fair for a change.
You saying you're gonna fight fair? All of my bad habits I learned from you.
I don't care what rules we play by as long as we're playing by the same ones.
So, how fair do you want this fight to be? Anything that could get us disbarred or put in prison is off-limits.
You're still afraid of prison? - Frank Gallo's dead.
- Harvey, I'm serious.
All right, you got yourself a deal.
But one thing: no crying in your coffee.
We end this thing on good terms no matter who wins.
You got it.
I'll make sure to accept your loss gracefully.
[mellow music.]
 You were right.
I'm not over him.
Dare I ask how exactly you came to this conclusion? I called him.
- Oh, no.
- It was a disaster, Donna.
I had to redo a million messages.
I started out calling him Katrina.
Oh, dear.
- My F-buddy.
- That's worse.
I finally had to write a script for myself just to get out of it.
- Is that it? - No.
But I can't relive the rest of it.
And I won't make you, at least not until you have a martini in you, which by my calculations should be in about five hours.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? I am.
You and I are hitting the town tonight.
Donna, that's a great idea.
Thank you.
- Shit.
- Is everything okay? Um it will be.
I just need to figure out how I'm gonna handle something.
I'll meet you in the lobby at 7:00.
 There she is.
The wonderful, beautiful love of my life.
What is this? Took the afternoon off, did some shoe shopping.
New glass slippers for my princess.
Louis, that is so sweet, but you didn't need to.
You're not gonna believe this, but an anonymous $50,000 donation came in this morning.
That is fantastic.
I am popping the sparkling cider right now.
And while you're at it, why don't you take these anonymous glass slippers and shove them up your ass.
What now? Is that the phone? Save it, Louis.
I know it was you.
Anonymous donations don't come in anonymously.
They just tell me to keep their name out.
Well, then that's just false advertising.
Damn it Louis, how could you do this to me? "To you"? I was doing it for you.
When I saw how upset you were I just couldn't stand it.
I told you to leave me alone, and instead, you showed me you think I'm incapable of doing my job.
- Sheila, I spent $50,000.
- I don't care.
- It was selfish and cruel-- - Okay, you know what? I have been trying to get it right, but no matter what I do you just keep biting my head off.
That's because you never just listen.
And the last time I listened, you said, "Why aren't you saying anything?" And now I'm saying, how could you not think about how this would make me feel? All I have been thinking about is how you feel.
And I have been walking on eggshells this whole time trying not to set off the pregnant woman who-- - Oh, so now I'm crazy.
- Yes! Well, then, maybe I should just check myself into a nuthouse and stop making your life so miserable.
No, Sheila, wait.
Maybe we both need to check ourselves into a nuthouse.
- What are you talking about? - Lipschitz.
I'm talking about us seeing Stan.
How is that going to help? He hasn't made you any less insane.
Oh, yes, he has.
You know he has.
So what do you say we give it a try? Because, Sheila, I don't know what else to do.
[pensive music.]
Oh, I'm sorry, Donna.
I am right in the middle of something.
And I'm on my way to meet Katrina, but this can't wait.
Where did you get this? "The Journal's" online edition.
Oh, goddamn Mike Ross.
It'll be on the front page tomorrow.
Well, he's not getting away with it.
That's the thing, Samantha.
What if he does? Are you asking me to let him tell the world our client exploits people? I'm asking you to cut a deal.
Samantha, you can still find a compromise.
- Why would I want to do that? - Because Mike Ross is family.
- He's not my family.
- Yes, he is.
He's Robert's family, and so are you.
Donna, I can't sell out our clients just because Mike married Robert's daughter.
I didn't say "sell out," I said "compromise.
" And if you won't do it because he's family, then do it because this ad is just the beginning.
I am telling you, he is just like you and Harvey.
He will never stop, and if you can't come up with a win-win, then I guarantee you, we will end up with a lose-lose.
 [upbeat rock music.]
 The thing is, I didn't mean to fall for Brian.
I was just so comfortable around him.
Of course, you were at work in your element.
Have another.
 Ooh.
Katrina, the way to get over Brian is to stop dwelling on him and start having some fun.
What do you mean, "fun"? I mean, before Rachel was with Mike, we used to go out and assume the identities of Harriet Specter and Michelle Ross, and we would convince unsuspecting yet handsome men to buy us drinks.
You mean, you defrauded the public? That's exactly what I mean.
And if I'm not mistaken, I think Louise Litt is still up for grabs.
So what do you say we go flank that 6'2" hunk of gorgeous? - Donna, I'm not-- - Copy that, too handsome.
What about Tom Hanks over at 5:00? - No, you're not-- - Got it.
He might as well be Brian's brother.
What about-- Damn it, Donna, I don't want anyone.
Katrina, what's going on? I thought you wanted to talk about how I was feeling, not try to make me party my way out of this.
Katrina, wait.
When's the last time you were in a real relationship? I don't feel comfortable talking about that with you.
In other words, you've only been in one real relationship, and you broke both your hearts because you didn't want anything to get in the way of your career, and I must be losing it because I completely misread the situation.
What do you mean? Brian was your soul's way of telling you that there's more to life than work, and the person that you need to develop a relationship with is you.
How am I supposed to do that? You are gonna start by promising me that one night a week you're gonna do something that's just for you.
I don't care if it's a cooking class or origami or just curling up with your favorite book as long as it has nothing to do with work.
- Or origami.
- [laughs.]
I promise.
And I'm going to start tonight by having drinks with a friend.
That's what I'm talking about.
[chuckles.]
 - You're not Harvey.
- And you're not Jeremy Wall.
But you took an ad out in his name defaming my client.
Are you here to shoot me? I'm here to negotiate with you.
Then come on in.
We took out that ad because Brick Street is exploiting its workers, and we have every right to say so.
Then let's get to it.
What's it gonna take to make it all go away? It's simple.
You stop making clothes the way you do or you let Jeremy out of his contract with full pay.
Of course, you could do both, but I'm a realist.
Look, Mike, I am trying to find some common ground.
I've known your father-in-law forever, your wife since she was a little girl.
Well, who's playing the violin now? Do you really expect me to start tearing up because you used to babysit Rachel? "Babysit her"? I saved her father from going to prison.
And what does that have to do with the way your clients treat its people? You want the truth? Nothing.
The only reason I'm here talking to you is because Donna begged me to.
Well, I don't really care what Donna did.
I'm not handing Harvey a win, and I'm certainly not handing one to his new second fiddle.
You're not handing anything to anybody because I have you and your client dead to rights.
You're lucky I don't come after you for slander.
Let me guess: this is the part where you slap me with a defamation suit.
Well, I happen to have one right here.
Well, then, you might as well hand over that suit, because I'm not changing the offer and we are definitely not pulling that ad.
[tense music.]
 Faye, can I help you? I hope so.
I was wondering what you could tell me about Mike Ross.
Easy, he's cocky, arrogant, thinks he's the smartest guy in the room.
And he's had my back more than once, so why don't you tell me what you're doing here? I'm here because Harvey and Mr.
Ross have history, and when people have history, they tend to do things they shouldn't.
Not to mention Samantha's now involved.
You've gotta be shitting me.
That's why you came in all hat in hand? - You want me to spy on them.
- Not spy, oversee.
Well, my answer's the same either way.
I'm not a snitch and I'm not a damn babysitter.
And I didn't come hat in hand.
I came with respect, because you're the only name partner in this place that hasn't come at me.
You want people to stop coming at you, Faye, stop doing shit where you show you don't trust us and we can't trust you.
You don't want to do this, don't do it, but there's a powder keg here and I'm the only one trying to keep it from exploding.
 Harvey, good.
The deposition is tomorrow-- Did you go see Mike behind my back? - Yes, I did, but-- - Why? Because Donna practically begged me to work things out with him.
Samantha, I didn't take this case to lay down.
I took it to win.
Then what are you getting so worked up about? Because I didn't lay down.
I slapped them both with a defamation suit, which is exactly what you would have done if you had seen that ad.
It isn't what I would have done because I told you, I know him, and he didn't fly all the way out here just to get slapped with a suit he could have seen coming a mile away.
You know what, I'm getting a little tired of you telling me I can't handle this kid.
Well, that's too bad, because until you filed the suit the only questions they could ask were about Jeremy's contract.
Now, they get to ask about our manufacturing conditions.
And that doesn't matter because we didn't do anything wrong.
Don't you get it? We don't have to have done anything wrong.
He just has to make it look that way to a jury.
- Shit.
- That's right.
So you and I are gonna stay here for as long as it takes to figure out how to get out of this.
Wait a second.
If his goal is to play his violin in front of a jury, all we have to do is make sure they never get to hear it.
 Mind if the, uh, enemy stops in? I do, but you're not the enemy.
I guess you haven't heard about me and Harvey, then.
I've heard, but I stand by my statement.
How have you been? - How's Rachel? - Good.
In fact, if I told you how good, you probably wouldn't believe me.
- Please tell her I said hello.
- I will.
Speaking of good, check out this office.
[drawn-out.]
Shit.
[chuckles.]
- What's the matter? - Nothing.
It's just, you should have been senior partner first, not me.
Katrina, I am exactly where I want to be.
 I'll let you get back to work.
Mike, I know it's not my business, but Samantha is an excellent lawyer, and deep down, she's a good person.
- But? - Don't push her.
I'm not trying to do anything to her.
This is between me and Harvey.
As far as I'm concerned, she's just along for the ride.
That's the thing about Samantha.
She's never just along for the ride.
 Coming to beg for mercy before I rip your guy apart? No, I'm coming to give formal notice of our decision to waive a jury trial.
What? I'll use tiny words so you'll understand.
This case is going to a judge and only a judge.
This is bullshit.
What's bullshit is you're gonna make it seem like my client exploits his workers.
That's because he does.
Those working conditions are miserable.
And that's exactly the kind of sob story you were gonna play for a jury.
Well, we took that bullet out of your chamber, so why don't we call this off and you don't have to embarrass yourself in there? No, we're not calling anything off because while a jury might never hear it, I'm gonna make that mother------ answer for what he's doing.
Mr.
Haskins, how many people work in your factories in China? Approximately 2,000.
And are you aware that those 2,000 people work twice what they're supposed to? That's a fabrication and there's no record of it.
You want a record? These people make less than 20 cents an hour.
You make $20 million a year.
How do you live with yourself? Every company makes clothes the same way.
Is it perfect? No, but we can't compete if we don't do the same thing.
And we're not violating the terms of Jeremy's contract.
No, you're just building an empire on the backs of women and children.
- Are you kidding me? - Don't you say that.
- No children are involved.
- So it's just women, then? You're twisting my words.
We break no local laws, no international laws-- And yet, conditions are so ----ing bad that two people have killed themselves in the last two years! God damn it, I don't care how many people have killed themselves! This has nothing to do with my company! We abide by the law.
Are you done? Because you can get emotional and he can get emotional and you still have no evidence, no jury, and no case.
And I don't have to remind you that this testimony is not to be revealed outside this room.
And tomorrow morning, we go to a judge, and then I send you back to wherever you came from with nothing but your crocodile tears and a big fat loss.
 Let me see if I understand this correctly.
Louis, you fabricated a $50,000 donation to Columbia out of nothing but love for your partner.
Exactly.
And Sheila, this same gesture filled you with rage.
As it would anyone.
Then I believe I may have a way to help you through this.
Does it include me screaming into a pillow? - Because I'm out 50 grand.
- Okay, you know what, Louis? If I may.
I understand you two have an interest in role-play.
- You told him about that? - Of course I did.
It's therapy.
It's a passionate interest.
Okay, well, I'm not playing Hansel and Gretel with your Nazi therapist.
Sheila, as I've told Louis no fewer than 65 times, I am not a Nazi.
Secondly, I am suggesting nothing of the Hansel and Gretel sort.
Whoa, whoa, wait a second, are you suggesting that we do what you had me and Harvey do? - I am.
Well, then, I'm out, because I have no interest in me pretending to be Sheila and her pretending to be me because it's stupid and it's not gonna lead to anything.
- Are you finished? - Okay, let's try it.
What gave rise to the initial incident? Ironically, it happened during role-play.
Ah, can you reenact it for me? No, I cannot, because all I can remember is I was getting ready to play "Cinderella's dirty redemption" and then the next thing I know, she is yelling at me.
Because you made it clear I was unattractive to you.
Sheila, that's just not true.
I don't care about your feet.
- You said they were fat.
- You said they were fat.
And instead of reassuring me, all you focused on was the money you were out.
- It was $9,000.
- Don't you get it? - What if I can't pay it back? - But you can pay it back.
That's the whole reason I spent the $50,000-- to convince you that you're good at your job.
No, you spent $50,000 to make me feel trapped in my job.
What the hell are you talking about? - I thought you loved your job.
- So did I.
- Sheila, I don't understand.
Louis, I never saw myself having children.
[melancholy music.]
But the more I embrace becoming a mother the more I feel pulled in two opposite directions.
And maybe I just want to pick one.
 Why didn't you tell me this? Because being a warrior is who I am.
 And I if I change who I am What if Louis won't want you anymore?  Sheila, look at me.
Being a warrior has nothing to do with your job.
It's who you are.
And no matter what you choose to do about your career, I support it 1,000%.
 I love you, Louis.
 You look like you could use this more than me.
I came in early today because I couldn't sleep and all of a sudden it just hit me.
What, are you stressed out about a client? I was out late drinking with Donna.
[chuckles.]
I feel that.
[laughs.]
Katrina, you know about this Mike, Harvey, and Samantha thing? I do.
Why? What if I told you Faye came to me to keep an eye on them to make sure it doesn't get out of control? I'd say it wouldn't surprise me, but what you're really asking is, do I think you should warn them? Because I know you didn't agree to spy.
I guess that is what I'm asking.
- Don't do it.
- You mind if I ask why not? Have you ever seen either one of them react well to an authority figure telling them not to do something? Shit, it'll just make them more likely to do it.
Exactly.
Besides, I already told Mike not to push Samantha.
With any luck, we'll get out of this thing without it blowing up in any of our faces.
[tense music.]
Harvey, what are you doing here? I'm here to talk about today.
Well, if you're looking for a settlement, our original offer stands.
"Original offer"? Were you in there? You got your ass kicked.
I'm just here to make sure we're still good.
You haven't seen it, have you? Seen what? Jeremy had a interview scheduled for today, but there was, uh-- well, there was a last-minute wardrobe change.
Guess Russell Westbrook isn't the only one who can make a fashion statement.
Damn it, Mike, that deposition was under seal.
So sue me.
But, if you do, it won't be a countersuit anymore, which means there will be a jury.
And if you think I won't have you sanctioned for this-- Go ahead, 'cause this is already going viral.
The more Brick Street tries to stop it from getting out, the more people are gonna see it, so I suggest, Harvey, that you just tell them to give us what we want.
I don't get it.
You went to all this trouble just to get him out so he would sign with a competitor? Well, I've got some news for you, Harvey: he's actually not looking to sign with a competitor.
He's looking to be the competitor.
He gets the money from his contract to put into his company [scoffs.]
Free advertising from a public feud.
And maybe he changes the way things get done in the process.
You helped him plan this thing from the beginning, didn't you? [chuckles.]
Well-- How the hell did you pull that off? It was easy.
You see, I knew that you would play the man, but the thing is, the version of me you thought you were playing, he doesn't exist anymore.
The new Mike cares more about the results than he does about playing the violin.
Gotta give you credit, Mike, But you couldn't have done any of this if you hadn't learned so much from me all those years.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you actually taking credit for my win when you lost? Let's be very clear about something here, Harvey.
Right now, you are the governor of Loserville, and I am the mayor of Winnertown.
You know mayor's below governor, right? Not in Winnertown, he isn't.
Mike, enjoy it while it lasts.
Next time, you won't have the element of surprise.
Who said there's gonna be a next time? What do you say we get a drink? You, me, and Donna? Yeah, that sounds nice, Harvey.
Donna, do you have a minute? Of course.
Always.
I just wanted to tell you that I signed up for a dance class.
Ooh, I like it.
Tango? Salsa? Ballet.
I was into it when I was younger.
Of course you were.
- I'm so happy for you.
- That's not all.
Right after I signed up for class, I noticed I had a voicemail from Brian.
- He called me back.
- What did he say? That's just it I deleted it without even listening.
Katrina, that's amazing.
Thank you, Donna.
Hey, Harvey and I are supposed to get together with Mike tonight.
- Do you want to join us? - I can't.
Tonight's the first night of class.
Oh, well, then, prance on out of here.
[laughs.]
 - Did you see that video? - I did.
That asshole set us up.
And you know it.
Well, I'm not letting him get away with it.
Samantha, he beat us fair and square.
Bullshit, he planned this whole thing in advance.
A clear violation of Jeremy's contract.
And knowing Mike, we'll never prove it.
Careful, Harvey.
You're starting to sound like you're proud of him.
And what if I am? Then get off the field, because one of us isn't finished fighting.
I told you, there's no way we'll prove it.
- Then I'll make proof.
- No, you won't.
Are you paying attention to what's going on around here? If you're talking about Faye, Mike Ross isn't the only one that can do things without leaving a trace.
Samantha, I told him we wouldn't do anything like this.
And you told me you wanted to win.
- Get out of my way.
- No.
You're letting this go, and that's an order.
- You don't give me orders.
- I do now.
You do this, you'll wish you had problems with Faye.
[dramatic music.]
Then you are taking this loss, not me.
 What's that? Your new business cards.
This says my title is "Vice President.
" It does.
- You're giving me a promotion? - And a 30% raise.
Is this because I helped you out with Sheila? It's because you're a warrior.
You always have been, and it's long past time I let you know how much I appreciate it.
[mellow music.]
Thank you, Louis.
No, Benjamin, thank you.
 I've gotta say, you were right.
This is much better than going out.
Thanks.
Of course, when I suggested it, I didn't mean that I would be the one to go to the grocery store and the cheese shop and the wine place.
To be fair, I do buy my own toilet paper.
Which we would have had to use as napkins if I hadn't also picked up napkins.
[door opens.]
Thank God he's here.
Hey! - You want some cheese? - What the hell did you do? What are you talking about? I didn't do anything.
You bribed Charles Hu to say I contacted him a year and a half ago with a scheme to break up Jeremy's contract, and I can't dispute it because we're on the record saying the guy's a saint.
Mike, listen to me, I had nothing to do with this.
- Bullshit! - It's not bullshit, Mike.
He's telling the truth.
Okay, well, if it wasn't you then it was her.
So my question is, what are you gonna do about it? What the hell can I do about it? You can say she fabricated evidence, like she did.
Are you out of your mind? Do you know what would happen to her? I don't care! She is cheating my client out of a company that could change people's lives! And I'm not gonna sell her out! Just like I'd do for you if you were still here.
I don't believe this.
You're pissed that I left! No, Mike, I'm glad that you left, and you could have come back to visit any ----ing time, but you came back to pick a fight with me that you rigged six months ago.
Oh, so it's not that I left, it's just that I beat you.
No, you almost did.
I was gonna let you get away with it, but she didn't.
And I might want to kill her, but I'm not gonna betray her.
I don't care about her! I care about you.
[tense music.]
You gave me your word, and the Harvey I know wouldn't break his word and screw over a bunch of innocent people in the process.
You know, you've lost yourself, Harvey, and you know it.
 Harvey-- No, you're gonna listen to what I have to say, because you lied to me.
I didn't lie, I changed my mind.
- Bullshit.
- You're right.
It is bullshit, because I don't take orders from you, and I tried to tell you that and you wouldn't listen.
So I did what needed to be done.
And you put us both at risk, because if Faye finds out-- She's not gonna find out.
All I did was produce a piece of evidence that proves exactly what we know he did.
You didn't produce it, you fabricated it because you can't stand someone getting the better of you.
I can't stand someone ripping off my client.
So what are you really upset about? The fact that I crossed a line, or that I beat your little adopted son? Samantha, Mike came at me and I defended you, because that's what partners do.
Well, that's all over now, because I don't trust you anymore.
 [knocking on door.]
Louis.
- What are you doing here? - Donna sent me.
Can I come in? [door shuts.]
Why didn't Donna come herself? Well, she's with Harvey now.
She didn't want you to hold it against her.
I'm not gonna hold anything against her, Louis.
Well, I'm here to ask you not to hold anything against Harvey.
What do you want me to say? She crossed the line, he let her get away with it, and then he tried to defend it to me.
Mike, do you remember the time I told you Harvey and I were like Ralph and Sam? The sheep dog and the wolf, yeah.
Of course I remember.
Well, the point of that story was, we were rivals at work.
But no matter how much we fought, at the end of the day, we didn't let it get in the way of our friendship.
Mike, I'm not saying you can't be furious.
I'm just saying, don't let this be the end of you and Harvey.
I got a plane to catch, Louis.
Safe travels, Mike.
[zipper zips.]
Louis, wait.
I never got a chance to bring this by.
I was gonna mail it when I got back, but since you're here Oh, my God.
I gave one just like this to Brian.
I had a bunch of these I gave away.
I just couldn't find the last one.
Rachel took it.
She was saving it for you.
I wanted to get one that said, "Future Harvard Grad.
" You know, 'cause I never actually went to Harvard.
This one's perfect.
Tell Rachel I said thank you, Mike.
I will.
[melancholy music.]
 Faye, if this could wait until tomorrow, I've had a long day.
I'm sure you did, considering the impressive win you and Harvey got on behalf of your client.
Thank you, but like I said, I've had a long day-- Here's the thing-- despite that win, I was walking by earlier, and it appeared as if you and Harvey were at each others' throats.
Harvey and I fight about a lot of things.
So what? So I think Harvey wanted to beat his former protégé so badly that he did something he shouldn't have.
You don't know what you're talking about.
We were about to lose, and out of nowhere evidence shows up that saves the day.
I think he created that evidence, you got upset about it, and if you don't stop covering for him, instead of handling it in-house, I'll hand him over to the Bar.
[tense music.]
Harvey didn't do anything, and that is all I'm going to say.
- Then it was you.
- I didn't say that.
It doesn't matter.
I warned you, I will not tolerate unethical behavior.
You have no proof I did anything.
I don't care, because I know you did it.
- Now, pack up your things.
- I'm not packing anything.
Then I'll have them packed for you, because as of this second you're fired.
Â
It's a place that only takes cases against Fortune 500 companies.
If you want to do more pro Bono cases-- That's not the point, Harvey.
This is who I am.
Harvey gave his clients to Eric? He did, but he still has one more to give up, - Brick Street Athletics.
- Why? - He wanted to make a gesture.
- The dean of a law school.
There's no way you'll be able to do both.
I want this job, and I want a baby, and I don't see why I can't have both.
You betrayed me.
You betrayed this firm.
- I tried to hide it, I swear.
- Get the hell out of my firm.
- You are fired.
- No, he's not.
This shows an utter lack of judgment, and I'm not letting it stand.
I can't work here anymore.
- Brian, please don't do this.
- It's gonna be okay.
No, it's not.
If you want me gone, convince me you people can be trusted to fly right.
And if we don't? If you continue to cross lines, then you'll be fired.
[upbeat jazzy music.]
 What do you mean, "you can't come over tonight"? I got pizza.
I even got those stupid yellow tomatoes that you like.
Harvey, something came up last-minute.
An old friend called me out of the blue.
Well, then, why don't you come by later? I could reheat the pizza.
It'll be 40% worse, but it's okay.
Why do I get the feeling that this isn't about pizza? All right, look, it's not something I advertise, but I watch "Survivor.
" - You watch "Survivor"? - I do.
You shouldn't admit that.
It's an underrated show but I love it, and I was hoping to get you into it.
Okay, then what do you say I take a rain check? All right, but it's under protest.
-Who's this old friend, anyway? - "Survivor"? - What are you, 1,000? - I get it.
The plans weren't for you, they were for me.
Have a great time, Harvey.
You know, just because she gave you a key doesn't mean you're staying here.
Why would I stay here? I've got my old apartment that you're pretending to rent for me.
"Rick Sorkin"? [chuckles.]
You've gone soft.
I was using it as a tax shelter.
And what's the name of that tax shelter? "I'm A Softie"? Maybe I've always been a softie.
What happened to, uh, "caring makes you weak"? I think you're confusing "caring" with "moving to Seattle.
" Speaking of Seattle, don't you have some old ladies looking to sue the condo association, or whatever big case you've got going these days? Yes, I do, but those ladies are gonna have to wait, because I always have time for an old friend.
[chuckles.]
It's good to see you, Harvey.
Great to see you, Mike.
- Is that Gionno's? - It is.
You like yellow tomatoes? And should the slipper fit, I will know thee to be yon fair maiden who so enchanted me at the ball.
But, my prince, I am not worthy of you.
Not in these dirty clothes.
You're mistaken, for it is your dirtiness that so attracts me.
- Is something wrong, My Lord? - No, my Lady.
It's just [clicks tongue.]
It's just--maybe if I-- Shit, it doesn't fit, does it? Of course it fits.
You're my princess.
No, I'm that fat step-sister.
What--Sheila, don't say that.
You're just retaining a little extra water.
"Water"? Louis, my foot's the size of Wisconsin.
And no one's arguing that, but once you have the baby it will shrink right back down.
- No, it won't.
- What are you talking about? Louis, if your feet grow when you're pregnant, they don't get smaller again.
But these were $9,000.
That's what you're upset about? Well, what the hell else would I be upset about? You know what, maybe I'm the one who should be upset because I'm fat and stupid and just cost us a lot of money and I can't do anything right! Whoa, Sheila.
You do everything right.
- No, I don't.
- What's going on? Okay, I tried not to think about it, but I spent an entire meeting this morning calling one of our most important donors the wrong name.
He pulled his donation.
$50,000.
Hey, hey.
It's okay.
- It's just one donor.
- No, it's not just one donor.
It's--it's everything! And I'm so tired and so foggy.
Yeah, because you're pregnant.
And if I can't do my job when I'm pregnant, why should anyone think I'll be able to do it when I have a baby? Sheila, you are being way too hard on yourself.
No, you just don't get it, so just leave me alone! [sobs.]
Let me get this straight: I tell Donna to kiss you, she does, and then, as a result, you ask another woman to move in with you.
It was a complicated situation.
Must have been, because then Donna starts dating a client, breaks privilege for him, and then you two end up together.
Didn't we already discuss this on the phone like a month ago? Yeah, well, if it had been on FaceTime, I'd let it go, but a real friend needs to enjoy the shame in person.
Well, while you're doing that, let's have it.
- Have what? - Why you're really here.
'Cause I'm not buying you showed up unannounced without a reason.
If you really must know, I'm here on business.
The business of begging for your old job back? Because it's too late.
We've replaced you.
Yeah, but do they have a law degree? Shit, I knew there was something I forgot to check.
You see, if you had my memory, you wouldn't forget things like that.
No, I'd just forget to lock my briefcase full of weed.
- The lock was broken.
- Your brain is broken.
- [chuckles.]
- Come on, give it to me.
Who's the asshole you're going up against? Actually, I think you know him pretty well.
His name is Harvey Sphincter.
- He plays it real tight.
- You gotta be kidding me.
A five hour flight and all you came up with was "sphincter"? I stand by sphincter.
But you want something better? How about this.
I represent Jeremy Wall, and he wants out of his contract with Brick Street.
- Wait a second, "out"? - Mm-hmm.
Jeremy's deal stipulates they do no harm to his image, and exploiting overseas workers is textbook harm.
Exploiting its workers? Where's he getting that idea? He went on a goodwill trip.
He saw the factory himself.
Well, if you want me to sell them on this, he's gonna have to give them their money back.
Oh, he's not giving back a dime.
He's not walking for free.
I figured you might say that, so I brought a little incentive.
[folder slaps.]
Breach of contract.
I see what this is.
You don't want me to convince Brick Street.
You wanna take me on.
I take you on, kick your ass.
I mean, what's the difference? Well, in that case, why don't you and Jeremy pop by tomorrow? And by "pop by," I mean sit for a deposition.
Are you sure? You're not worried about losing to a lawyer in his prime? I hate to break it to you, Mike, but I was in my prime before you were born, and I'll be in it long after you're dead.
You know that doesn't make sense, right? It will when you're in your prime.
Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
Oh, and Harvey, to, um, put this in a way that you might understand, if this ends up going to a jury like they do in "Survivor," I'll be the last man standing.
[pensive music.]
I knew he watched "Survivor.
" Suits 9x05 If The Shoe Fits See the money, wanna stay for your meal Get another piece of pie for your wife Everybody wanna know how it feel Everybody wanna see what it's like I'll even eat a bean pie, I don't mind Me and Missy is so busy, busy making money All right All step back, I'm 'bout to dance The greenback boogie Alex, just the man I wanted to see.
Um you survived two pregnancies with Rosalie, right? Yes, I did.
Why? How'd you do it? Right now I can't do anything right.
No matter what I say, no matter what I do, it upsets her.
I've read every book that I can get my hands on.
but none of them talk about [whispering.]
Her being crazy.
Louis, why did you whisper that? I don't know.
[laughs.]
What is so funny? I'm thinking about how ------ you are.
God damn it, Alex, I have no one else to turn to.
Brian left, if Harvey has children, he doesn't know about them, and if you think I'm gonna ask my sister you're out of your goddamn mind.
All right, listen, the answer to your problem is simple.
Just do nothing.
What are you talking about? Whatever's upsetting her, don't try to solve it.
Don't tell her it's gonna be okay.
Just listen and do nothing.
Nothing.
- That's right, nothing.
- Not even-- - Nope.
- What about-- - Uh-uh.
- Surely I can-- Louis, the reason I was laughing was because I know you're incapable of doing nothing, so if you must do something-- and I don't recommend this-- just tell her you love her.
I tried that.
She threw a shoe in my face.
So you feel me now? Yeah, I do.
Thank you, Alex.
I'm going to go ahead and do nothing.
[funky music.]
He's totally ------.
- Good morning, Katrina.
- Donna, what can I do for you? I want to thank you for protecting my vote with that code of conduct.
It was nothing.
It was something, and I wanna return the favor.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about Brian.
Katrina, you haven't picked a new associate and you haven't seemed like yourself lately, and it makes me think that you haven't moved on.
Well, I appreciate your concern, but I have.
Well, how about you give him a call right now? See? Even the thought of it makes you uncomfortable.
Okay, you're right.
I haven't picked a new associate.
And with everything that's been going on, you can hardly blame me for not seeming like myself.
But as far as Brian goes, I'm doing just fine.
I understand.
And if you change your mind and you wanna talk about it, I'm here.
[pensive music.]
 Benjamin, do you have a second? Actually, Louis, I don't.
I'm a little busy right now.
Unless you want to fire me again.
Okay, I get it.
You are still upset about that.
"Upset"? You asked me to do something shady for you, and then when I got caught, instead of standing up for me, you fired me.
And on top of all of that, you don't even show your face until you need something, which is obvious by that greasy bag of delicious bacon in your hand.
Well, bacon is not gonna solve your problem this time, a-hole.
Benjamin, I know I have not been here, and all I can say about that is, I am ashamed.
You wanna know how to make that shame go away? How about saying, "I was wrong and I'm sorry"? I was wrong, and I am sorry.
And I am not just saying that because I need your help.
But you are saying it when you need help.
I am.
And if you don't wanna help, you don't have to.
But it's not for me, it's for Sheila.
- Sheila? - She lost a huge donor.
She feels horrible, and the only way I can think of making the mother of my unborn child feel better is to replace his contribution.
- How much? - $50,000.
Okay, well, if you are willing to part with that much money to make Sheila feel better, I'll help.
What do you need? I need you to run a proxy through a financial institution to create the appearance of an anonymous donation from a tax sheltered company.
All right, I am doing this for Sheila and I will require the bacon, but that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life.
Thank you.
 [sniffs.]
Harvey? Samantha, I was just gonna come see you.
No, you weren't.
You know how I know that? Because my new client-- the one you gave me-- was served with a lawsuit at your condo last night and you didn't tell me about it.
You heard about Brick Street already? - Did you think I wouldn't? - Sure, it's possible.
You sometimes box in the mornings.
Harvey-- Samantha, I'm not trying to take them back.
It's just a little complicated.
What exactly is complicated about it? Hey, Jeremy's here.
Ready to go do this deposition? "Jeremy"? Let me get this straight: not only did you take my client without telling me, you scheduled a deposition with the other side? - Wait, her client? - Mike, meet Samantha Wheeler.
I gave her Brick Street about a month ago.
I might have forgotten to mention that to you last night.
Samantha, meet Mike Ross.
Mm, the protégé.
Okay, why did she just say it like that? If I had to take a guess, it's because she thought you'd be taller.
- I'm the same height as you.
- The lies we tell ourselves.
It's because I'm less concerned with meeting you than kicking your ass since I'm the one you're gonna be going up against, not him.
- Hang on, I didn't agree-- - Harvey, if I may? Look, Samantha, I get it.
I've been where you are right now a hundred times.
It's so frustrating, but I think we all know Harvey's gonna take this client back whether you like it or not, so you might as well just let him do it.
[chuckles.]
That's about as naive as hoping we'll let Jeremy Wall out of his contract.
Well, this isn't really about hope.
It's about Bridge Street doing right by its workers.
And if you think that sob story is gonna work here, you're wrong.
Sob stories are his specialty.
I prefer to call it "appealing to a jury's humanity.
" Well, I call it "bringing a violin to a gun fight.
" Well, we'll see what you call it when I'm done.
Anyway, I'll give you two a minute to discuss who's gonna take the loss.
[tense music.]
Your protégé is a douche.
Not gonna argue with you there.
Then how about not arguing over whose client this is? Because I got a deposition to get to.
You don't even know this case.
I know the client, I know the contract-- - And I know the man.
- You think I can't beat him? Samantha, he used to be my guy.
He travelled across the country to pick a fight with me.
He's never gonna let me live it down if I duck him.
Then we're doing this together, because this is my client.
I'm not just handing them over to you.
Okay, but don't underestimate him.
Whatever else Mike Ross is, he's just as good as you and me.
This is stupid.
You're over him, and someone who is over someone should be able to call them as a friend.
[sighs.]
Hey, you've reached Brian Altman.
Please leave a message and have a great day.
[phone line beeps.]
Hey, Brian.
Just calling because you came up in conversation today.
Apropos of nothing.
We certainly weren't talking about how I'm still not over you.
[laughs.]
Oh, sweet Lord, I just made it worse.
What do I do? What do I-- If you are satisfied with your message, please press one.
To rerecord, press two.
[phone line beeps.]
Thank God.
[laughs.]
Hey, Brian.
It's your buddy.
Your friend with a capital "F.
" Your F-buddy.
[stammers.]
Hi, Katrina, it's Brian.
Shit.
B-dawg, it's Kitty Kat.
What? Who are you? Nope.
Ass.
Damn it.
Ball sack! ----.
Mother of pearl! Just tell her you love me and that it's over! That felt good.
Hello, Brian.
Today you came up in a work-related discussion, and I wanted to see if there were any bespoke files you had not yet received.
Cordially, Katrina Bennett.
[funky music.]
Mr.
Wall, you claim to have seen objectionable factory conditions.
I'm not claiming anything.
I--I saw them.
Those people are miserable.
And misery isn't a violation of international law.
Are they violating international law? I don't know.
No, you don't, because you're a basketball player.
You're not a lawyer.
That doesn't mean I can't tell when something's not right.
And when exactly did you start thinking something wasn't right? When I visited that factory six months ago.
And yet, you're only bringing this up now? Why? Because, like, you said, I'm a basketball player.
I--I didn't know what to do or who to go to.
No, you were afraid you wouldn't be paid your full contract.
Don't talk to my client like that.
And you can't speak to his motivations.
I don't care about his motivations.
What I want to know is why he lied about being contacted by an activist named Charles Hu.
I didn't lie about anything.
You said you didn't care about the conditions until six months ago.
He wrote you 18 months ago.
Sounds like a lie to me.
That letter got me a little concerned, but I didn't take it seriously until I saw the conditions myself.
And what you need to take seriously is that you had one year to blow the whistle, and you are six months too late.
Bullshit, that letter was unsolicited.
It--it didn't trigger his awareness.
He just said it did.
He used the word "concern.
" This is a technicality.
No, Mike, it's the terms of his contract.
I think this case is getting dismissed.
So you really gonna do this? Mike, it's there in black and white.
I don't care what's in black and white.
He found out about the conditions 6 months ago, not 18.
It's not a violation.
Well, you're gonna have to explain that to a judge.
And even if you're successful, he'll be on record saying he didn't give a shit about those people for an entire year.
Harvey, they're exploiting these people and you know it.
What I know is, you're the same old Mike playing that violin to get me to help you.
I might be the same old Mike, but you are not the same old Harvey.
- What'd you just say? - You heard me.
That's why you did this now.
You know Faye's breathing down our necks and I can't fight at full strength.
That's one way to put it.
Another is that her being here might actually make you fight fair for a change.
You saying you're gonna fight fair? All of my bad habits I learned from you.
I don't care what rules we play by as long as we're playing by the same ones.
So, how fair do you want this fight to be? Anything that could get us disbarred or put in prison is off-limits.
You're still afraid of prison? - Frank Gallo's dead.
- Harvey, I'm serious.
All right, you got yourself a deal.
But one thing: no crying in your coffee.
We end this thing on good terms no matter who wins.
You got it.
I'll make sure to accept your loss gracefully.
[mellow music.]
 You were right.
I'm not over him.
Dare I ask how exactly you came to this conclusion? I called him.
- Oh, no.
- It was a disaster, Donna.
I had to redo a million messages.
I started out calling him Katrina.
Oh, dear.
- My F-buddy.
- That's worse.
I finally had to write a script for myself just to get out of it.
- Is that it? - No.
But I can't relive the rest of it.
And I won't make you, at least not until you have a martini in you, which by my calculations should be in about five hours.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? I am.
You and I are hitting the town tonight.
Donna, that's a great idea.
Thank you.
- Shit.
- Is everything okay? Um it will be.
I just need to figure out how I'm gonna handle something.
I'll meet you in the lobby at 7:00.
 There she is.
The wonderful, beautiful love of my life.
What is this? Took the afternoon off, did some shoe shopping.
New glass slippers for my princess.
Louis, that is so sweet, but you didn't need to.
You're not gonna believe this, but an anonymous $50,000 donation came in this morning.
That is fantastic.
I am popping the sparkling cider right now.
And while you're at it, why don't you take these anonymous glass slippers and shove them up your ass.
What now? Is that the phone? Save it, Louis.
I know it was you.
Anonymous donations don't come in anonymously.
They just tell me to keep their name out.
Well, then that's just false advertising.
Damn it Louis, how could you do this to me? "To you"? I was doing it for you.
When I saw how upset you were I just couldn't stand it.
I told you to leave me alone, and instead, you showed me you think I'm incapable of doing my job.
- Sheila, I spent $50,000.
- I don't care.
- It was selfish and cruel-- - Okay, you know what? I have been trying to get it right, but no matter what I do you just keep biting my head off.
That's because you never just listen.
And the last time I listened, you said, "Why aren't you saying anything?" And now I'm saying, how could you not think about how this would make me feel? All I have been thinking about is how you feel.
And I have been walking on eggshells this whole time trying not to set off the pregnant woman who-- - Oh, so now I'm crazy.
- Yes! Well, then, maybe I should just check myself into a nuthouse and stop making your life so miserable.
No, Sheila, wait.
Maybe we both need to check ourselves into a nuthouse.
- What are you talking about? - Lipschitz.
I'm talking about us seeing Stan.
How is that going to help? He hasn't made you any less insane.
Oh, yes, he has.
You know he has.
So what do you say we give it a try? Because, Sheila, I don't know what else to do.
[pensive music.]
Oh, I'm sorry, Donna.
I am right in the middle of something.
And I'm on my way to meet Katrina, but this can't wait.
Where did you get this? "The Journal's" online edition.
Oh, goddamn Mike Ross.
It'll be on the front page tomorrow.
Well, he's not getting away with it.
That's the thing, Samantha.
What if he does? Are you asking me to let him tell the world our client exploits people? I'm asking you to cut a deal.
Samantha, you can still find a compromise.
- Why would I want to do that? - Because Mike Ross is family.
- He's not my family.
- Yes, he is.
He's Robert's family, and so are you.
Donna, I can't sell out our clients just because Mike married Robert's daughter.
I didn't say "sell out," I said "compromise.
" And if you won't do it because he's family, then do it because this ad is just the beginning.
I am telling you, he is just like you and Harvey.
He will never stop, and if you can't come up with a win-win, then I guarantee you, we will end up with a lose-lose.
 [upbeat rock music.]
 The thing is, I didn't mean to fall for Brian.
I was just so comfortable around him.
Of course, you were at work in your element.
Have another.
 Ooh.
Katrina, the way to get over Brian is to stop dwelling on him and start having some fun.
What do you mean, "fun"? I mean, before Rachel was with Mike, we used to go out and assume the identities of Harriet Specter and Michelle Ross, and we would convince unsuspecting yet handsome men to buy us drinks.
You mean, you defrauded the public? That's exactly what I mean.
And if I'm not mistaken, I think Louise Litt is still up for grabs.
So what do you say we go flank that 6'2" hunk of gorgeous? - Donna, I'm not-- - Copy that, too handsome.
What about Tom Hanks over at 5:00? - No, you're not-- - Got it.
He might as well be Brian's brother.
What about-- Damn it, Donna, I don't want anyone.
Katrina, what's going on? I thought you wanted to talk about how I was feeling, not try to make me party my way out of this.
Katrina, wait.
When's the last time you were in a real relationship? I don't feel comfortable talking about that with you.
In other words, you've only been in one real relationship, and you broke both your hearts because you didn't want anything to get in the way of your career, and I must be losing it because I completely misread the situation.
What do you mean? Brian was your soul's way of telling you that there's more to life than work, and the person that you need to develop a relationship with is you.
How am I supposed to do that? You are gonna start by promising me that one night a week you're gonna do something that's just for you.
I don't care if it's a cooking class or origami or just curling up with your favorite book as long as it has nothing to do with work.
- Or origami.
- [laughs.]
I promise.
And I'm going to start tonight by having drinks with a friend.
That's what I'm talking about.
[chuckles.]
 - You're not Harvey.
- And you're not Jeremy Wall.
But you took an ad out in his name defaming my client.
Are you here to shoot me? I'm here to negotiate with you.
Then come on in.
We took out that ad because Brick Street is exploiting its workers, and we have every right to say so.
Then let's get to it.
What's it gonna take to make it all go away? It's simple.
You stop making clothes the way you do or you let Jeremy out of his contract with full pay.
Of course, you could do both, but I'm a realist.
Look, Mike, I am trying to find some common ground.
I've known your father-in-law forever, your wife since she was a little girl.
Well, who's playing the violin now? Do you really expect me to start tearing up because you used to babysit Rachel? "Babysit her"? I saved her father from going to prison.
And what does that have to do with the way your clients treat its people? You want the truth? Nothing.
The only reason I'm here talking to you is because Donna begged me to.
Well, I don't really care what Donna did.
I'm not handing Harvey a win, and I'm certainly not handing one to his new second fiddle.
You're not handing anything to anybody because I have you and your client dead to rights.
You're lucky I don't come after you for slander.
Let me guess: this is the part where you slap me with a defamation suit.
Well, I happen to have one right here.
Well, then, you might as well hand over that suit, because I'm not changing the offer and we are definitely not pulling that ad.
[tense music.]
 Faye, can I help you? I hope so.
I was wondering what you could tell me about Mike Ross.
Easy, he's cocky, arrogant, thinks he's the smartest guy in the room.
And he's had my back more than once, so why don't you tell me what you're doing here? I'm here because Harvey and Mr.
Ross have history, and when people have history, they tend to do things they shouldn't.
Not to mention Samantha's now involved.
You've gotta be shitting me.
That's why you came in all hat in hand? - You want me to spy on them.
- Not spy, oversee.
Well, my answer's the same either way.
I'm not a snitch and I'm not a damn babysitter.
And I didn't come hat in hand.
I came with respect, because you're the only name partner in this place that hasn't come at me.
You want people to stop coming at you, Faye, stop doing shit where you show you don't trust us and we can't trust you.
You don't want to do this, don't do it, but there's a powder keg here and I'm the only one trying to keep it from exploding.
 Harvey, good.
The deposition is tomorrow-- Did you go see Mike behind my back? - Yes, I did, but-- - Why? Because Donna practically begged me to work things out with him.
Samantha, I didn't take this case to lay down.
I took it to win.
Then what are you getting so worked up about? Because I didn't lay down.
I slapped them both with a defamation suit, which is exactly what you would have done if you had seen that ad.
It isn't what I would have done because I told you, I know him, and he didn't fly all the way out here just to get slapped with a suit he could have seen coming a mile away.
You know what, I'm getting a little tired of you telling me I can't handle this kid.
Well, that's too bad, because until you filed the suit the only questions they could ask were about Jeremy's contract.
Now, they get to ask about our manufacturing conditions.
And that doesn't matter because we didn't do anything wrong.
Don't you get it? We don't have to have done anything wrong.
He just has to make it look that way to a jury.
- Shit.
- That's right.
So you and I are gonna stay here for as long as it takes to figure out how to get out of this.
Wait a second.
If his goal is to play his violin in front of a jury, all we have to do is make sure they never get to hear it.
 Mind if the, uh, enemy stops in? I do, but you're not the enemy.
I guess you haven't heard about me and Harvey, then.
I've heard, but I stand by my statement.
How have you been? - How's Rachel? - Good.
In fact, if I told you how good, you probably wouldn't believe me.
- Please tell her I said hello.
- I will.
Speaking of good, check out this office.
[drawn-out.]
Shit.
[chuckles.]
- What's the matter? - Nothing.
It's just, you should have been senior partner first, not me.
Katrina, I am exactly where I want to be.
 I'll let you get back to work.
Mike, I know it's not my business, but Samantha is an excellent lawyer, and deep down, she's a good person.
- But? - Don't push her.
I'm not trying to do anything to her.
This is between me and Harvey.
As far as I'm concerned, she's just along for the ride.
That's the thing about Samantha.
She's never just along for the ride.
 Coming to beg for mercy before I rip your guy apart? No, I'm coming to give formal notice of our decision to waive a jury trial.
What? I'll use tiny words so you'll understand.
This case is going to a judge and only a judge.
This is bullshit.
What's bullshit is you're gonna make it seem like my client exploits his workers.
That's because he does.
Those working conditions are miserable.
And that's exactly the kind of sob story you were gonna play for a jury.
Well, we took that bullet out of your chamber, so why don't we call this off and you don't have to embarrass yourself in there? No, we're not calling anything off because while a jury might never hear it, I'm gonna make that mother------ answer for what he's doing.
Mr.
Haskins, how many people work in your factories in China? Approximately 2,000.
And are you aware that those 2,000 people work twice what they're supposed to? That's a fabrication and there's no record of it.
You want a record? These people make less than 20 cents an hour.
You make $20 million a year.
How do you live with yourself? Every company makes clothes the same way.
Is it perfect? No, but we can't compete if we don't do the same thing.
And we're not violating the terms of Jeremy's contract.
No, you're just building an empire on the backs of women and children.
- Are you kidding me? - Don't you say that.
- No children are involved.
- So it's just women, then? You're twisting my words.
We break no local laws, no international laws-- And yet, conditions are so ----ing bad that two people have killed themselves in the last two years! God damn it, I don't care how many people have killed themselves! This has nothing to do with my company! We abide by the law.
Are you done? Because you can get emotional and he can get emotional and you still have no evidence, no jury, and no case.
And I don't have to remind you that this testimony is not to be revealed outside this room.
And tomorrow morning, we go to a judge, and then I send you back to wherever you came from with nothing but your crocodile tears and a big fat loss.
 Let me see if I understand this correctly.
Louis, you fabricated a $50,000 donation to Columbia out of nothing but love for your partner.
Exactly.
And Sheila, this same gesture filled you with rage.
As it would anyone.
Then I believe I may have a way to help you through this.
Does it include me screaming into a pillow? - Because I'm out 50 grand.
- Okay, you know what, Louis? If I may.
I understand you two have an interest in role-play.
- You told him about that? - Of course I did.
It's therapy.
It's a passionate interest.
Okay, well, I'm not playing Hansel and Gretel with your Nazi therapist.
Sheila, as I've told Louis no fewer than 65 times, I am not a Nazi.
Secondly, I am suggesting nothing of the Hansel and Gretel sort.
Whoa, whoa, wait a second, are you suggesting that we do what you had me and Harvey do? - I am.
Well, then, I'm out, because I have no interest in me pretending to be Sheila and her pretending to be me because it's stupid and it's not gonna lead to anything.
- Are you finished? - Okay, let's try it.
What gave rise to the initial incident? Ironically, it happened during role-play.
Ah, can you reenact it for me? No, I cannot, because all I can remember is I was getting ready to play "Cinderella's dirty redemption" and then the next thing I know, she is yelling at me.
Because you made it clear I was unattractive to you.
Sheila, that's just not true.
I don't care about your feet.
- You said they were fat.
- You said they were fat.
And instead of reassuring me, all you focused on was the money you were out.
- It was $9,000.
- Don't you get it? - What if I can't pay it back? - But you can pay it back.
That's the whole reason I spent the $50,000-- to convince you that you're good at your job.
No, you spent $50,000 to make me feel trapped in my job.
What the hell are you talking about? - I thought you loved your job.
- So did I.
- Sheila, I don't understand.
Louis, I never saw myself having children.
[melancholy music.]
But the more I embrace becoming a mother the more I feel pulled in two opposite directions.
And maybe I just want to pick one.
 Why didn't you tell me this? Because being a warrior is who I am.
 And I if I change who I am What if Louis won't want you anymore?  Sheila, look at me.
Being a warrior has nothing to do with your job.
It's who you are.
And no matter what you choose to do about your career, I support it 1,000%.
 I love you, Louis.
 You look like you could use this more than me.
I came in early today because I couldn't sleep and all of a sudden it just hit me.
What, are you stressed out about a client? I was out late drinking with Donna.
[chuckles.]
I feel that.
[laughs.]
Katrina, you know about this Mike, Harvey, and Samantha thing? I do.
Why? What if I told you Faye came to me to keep an eye on them to make sure it doesn't get out of control? I'd say it wouldn't surprise me, but what you're really asking is, do I think you should warn them? Because I know you didn't agree to spy.
I guess that is what I'm asking.
- Don't do it.
- You mind if I ask why not? Have you ever seen either one of them react well to an authority figure telling them not to do something? Shit, it'll just make them more likely to do it.
Exactly.
Besides, I already told Mike not to push Samantha.
With any luck, we'll get out of this thing without it blowing up in any of our faces.
[tense music.]
Harvey, what are you doing here? I'm here to talk about today.
Well, if you're looking for a settlement, our original offer stands.
"Original offer"? Were you in there? You got your ass kicked.
I'm just here to make sure we're still good.
You haven't seen it, have you? Seen what? Jeremy had a interview scheduled for today, but there was, uh-- well, there was a last-minute wardrobe change.
Guess Russell Westbrook isn't the only one who can make a fashion statement.
Damn it, Mike, that deposition was under seal.
So sue me.
But, if you do, it won't be a countersuit anymore, which means there will be a jury.
And if you think I won't have you sanctioned for this-- Go ahead, 'cause this is already going viral.
The more Brick Street tries to stop it from getting out, the more people are gonna see it, so I suggest, Harvey, that you just tell them to give us what we want.
I don't get it.
You went to all this trouble just to get him out so he would sign with a competitor? Well, I've got some news for you, Harvey: he's actually not looking to sign with a competitor.
He's looking to be the competitor.
He gets the money from his contract to put into his company [scoffs.]
Free advertising from a public feud.
And maybe he changes the way things get done in the process.
You helped him plan this thing from the beginning, didn't you? [chuckles.]
Well-- How the hell did you pull that off? It was easy.
You see, I knew that you would play the man, but the thing is, the version of me you thought you were playing, he doesn't exist anymore.
The new Mike cares more about the results than he does about playing the violin.
Gotta give you credit, Mike, But you couldn't have done any of this if you hadn't learned so much from me all those years.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you actually taking credit for my win when you lost? Let's be very clear about something here, Harvey.
Right now, you are the governor of Loserville, and I am the mayor of Winnertown.
You know mayor's below governor, right? Not in Winnertown, he isn't.
Mike, enjoy it while it lasts.
Next time, you won't have the element of surprise.
Who said there's gonna be a next time? What do you say we get a drink? You, me, and Donna? Yeah, that sounds nice, Harvey.
Donna, do you have a minute? Of course.
Always.
I just wanted to tell you that I signed up for a dance class.
Ooh, I like it.
Tango? Salsa? Ballet.
I was into it when I was younger.
Of course you were.
- I'm so happy for you.
- That's not all.
Right after I signed up for class, I noticed I had a voicemail from Brian.
- He called me back.
- What did he say? That's just it I deleted it without even listening.
Katrina, that's amazing.
Thank you, Donna.
Hey, Harvey and I are supposed to get together with Mike tonight.
- Do you want to join us? - I can't.
Tonight's the first night of class.
Oh, well, then, prance on out of here.
[laughs.]
 - Did you see that video? - I did.
That asshole set us up.
And you know it.
Well, I'm not letting him get away with it.
Samantha, he beat us fair and square.
Bullshit, he planned this whole thing in advance.
A clear violation of Jeremy's contract.
And knowing Mike, we'll never prove it.
Careful, Harvey.
You're starting to sound like you're proud of him.
And what if I am? Then get off the field, because one of us isn't finished fighting.
I told you, there's no way we'll prove it.
- Then I'll make proof.
- No, you won't.
Are you paying attention to what's going on around here? If you're talking about Faye, Mike Ross isn't the only one that can do things without leaving a trace.
Samantha, I told him we wouldn't do anything like this.
And you told me you wanted to win.
- Get out of my way.
- No.
You're letting this go, and that's an order.
- You don't give me orders.
- I do now.
You do this, you'll wish you had problems with Faye.
[dramatic music.]
Then you are taking this loss, not me.
 What's that? Your new business cards.
This says my title is "Vice President.
" It does.
- You're giving me a promotion? - And a 30% raise.
Is this because I helped you out with Sheila? It's because you're a warrior.
You always have been, and it's long past time I let you know how much I appreciate it.
[mellow music.]
Thank you, Louis.
No, Benjamin, thank you.
 I've gotta say, you were right.
This is much better than going out.
Thanks.
Of course, when I suggested it, I didn't mean that I would be the one to go to the grocery store and the cheese shop and the wine place.
To be fair, I do buy my own toilet paper.
Which we would have had to use as napkins if I hadn't also picked up napkins.
[door opens.]
Thank God he's here.
Hey! - You want some cheese? - What the hell did you do? What are you talking about? I didn't do anything.
You bribed Charles Hu to say I contacted him a year and a half ago with a scheme to break up Jeremy's contract, and I can't dispute it because we're on the record saying the guy's a saint.
Mike, listen to me, I had nothing to do with this.
- Bullshit! - It's not bullshit, Mike.
He's telling the truth.
Okay, well, if it wasn't you then it was her.
So my question is, what are you gonna do about it? What the hell can I do about it? You can say she fabricated evidence, like she did.
Are you out of your mind? Do you know what would happen to her? I don't care! She is cheating my client out of a company that could change people's lives! And I'm not gonna sell her out! Just like I'd do for you if you were still here.
I don't believe this.
You're pissed that I left! No, Mike, I'm glad that you left, and you could have come back to visit any ----ing time, but you came back to pick a fight with me that you rigged six months ago.
Oh, so it's not that I left, it's just that I beat you.
No, you almost did.
I was gonna let you get away with it, but she didn't.
And I might want to kill her, but I'm not gonna betray her.
I don't care about her! I care about you.
[tense music.]
You gave me your word, and the Harvey I know wouldn't break his word and screw over a bunch of innocent people in the process.
You know, you've lost yourself, Harvey, and you know it.
 Harvey-- No, you're gonna listen to what I have to say, because you lied to me.
I didn't lie, I changed my mind.
- Bullshit.
- You're right.
It is bullshit, because I don't take orders from you, and I tried to tell you that and you wouldn't listen.
So I did what needed to be done.
And you put us both at risk, because if Faye finds out-- She's not gonna find out.
All I did was produce a piece of evidence that proves exactly what we know he did.
You didn't produce it, you fabricated it because you can't stand someone getting the better of you.
I can't stand someone ripping off my client.
So what are you really upset about? The fact that I crossed a line, or that I beat your little adopted son? Samantha, Mike came at me and I defended you, because that's what partners do.
Well, that's all over now, because I don't trust you anymore.
 [knocking on door.]
Louis.
- What are you doing here? - Donna sent me.
Can I come in? [door shuts.]
Why didn't Donna come herself? Well, she's with Harvey now.
She didn't want you to hold it against her.
I'm not gonna hold anything against her, Louis.
Well, I'm here to ask you not to hold anything against Harvey.
What do you want me to say? She crossed the line, he let her get away with it, and then he tried to defend it to me.
Mike, do you remember the time I told you Harvey and I were like Ralph and Sam? The sheep dog and the wolf, yeah.
Of course I remember.
Well, the point of that story was, we were rivals at work.
But no matter how much we fought, at the end of the day, we didn't let it get in the way of our friendship.
Mike, I'm not saying you can't be furious.
I'm just saying, don't let this be the end of you and Harvey.
I got a plane to catch, Louis.
Safe travels, Mike.
[zipper zips.]
Louis, wait.
I never got a chance to bring this by.
I was gonna mail it when I got back, but since you're here Oh, my God.
I gave one just like this to Brian.
I had a bunch of these I gave away.
I just couldn't find the last one.
Rachel took it.
She was saving it for you.
I wanted to get one that said, "Future Harvard Grad.
" You know, 'cause I never actually went to Harvard.
This one's perfect.
Tell Rachel I said thank you, Mike.
I will.
[melancholy music.]
 Faye, if this could wait until tomorrow, I've had a long day.
I'm sure you did, considering the impressive win you and Harvey got on behalf of your client.
Thank you, but like I said, I've had a long day-- Here's the thing-- despite that win, I was walking by earlier, and it appeared as if you and Harvey were at each others' throats.
Harvey and I fight about a lot of things.
So what? So I think Harvey wanted to beat his former protégé so badly that he did something he shouldn't have.
You don't know what you're talking about.
We were about to lose, and out of nowhere evidence shows up that saves the day.
I think he created that evidence, you got upset about it, and if you don't stop covering for him, instead of handling it in-house, I'll hand him over to the Bar.
[tense music.]
Harvey didn't do anything, and that is all I'm going to say.
- Then it was you.
- I didn't say that.
It doesn't matter.
I warned you, I will not tolerate unethical behavior.
You have no proof I did anything.
I don't care, because I know you did it.
- Now, pack up your things.
- I'm not packing anything.
Then I'll have them packed for you, because as of this second you're fired.
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