Dad's Army (1968) s09e06 Episode Script

Who do you thInk you are kIddIng, Mr HItler If you thInk we're on the run? We are the boys who wIll stop your lIttle game We are the boys who wIll make you thInk agaIn 'Cause who do you thInk you are kIddIng, Mr HItler If you thInk old England's done? Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.
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2 1 But he comes home each evenIng and he's ready wIth hIs gun So who do you thInk you are kIddIng, Mr HItler If you thInk old England's done? Oh, hello, Mr Godfrey.
You remember me? I'm Mrs Fox.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
Can I do anything for you? Well, I wanted to have a word with Mr Jones.
They've gone for a march round the town.
I'm afraid he'll be some little time yet.
Oh, well, I promised to phone him at 8:00.
But as I was passing I thought I'd put him out of his misery.
Never mind.
I'll phone as promised.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Left, left, left, right, left, left.
Right wheel.
Platoon, halt! Left turn.
Order arms.
Stand at ease.
Where's Corporal Jones? -Excuse me, Mr Mainwaring.
-Yes.
Remember when we came into the high street and you said right wheel? He didn't.
He walked straight on with a silly grin on his face.
-Did you notice this? -Yes, I did, sir.
-Why didn't you tell me? -Well, I didn't want to upset you.
Upset me? Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right.
Right wheel.
Left, right, left.
Halt! Left turn! Order arms! Stand at ease! Evening.
-Where have you been, Corporal? -I saw a little throstle bird, sir.
And I said to meself, ''What a pretty throstle.
Isn't life wonderful?'' And when I looked round you'd all gone and left me, Captain Mainwaring.
My mind's usually full of warlike things, not birds.
Fall out.
-Come and see me in the office, would you? -Yes, of course, sir.
Yes, yes.
-I'm getting worried about Jones.
Woolly-headed.
-Yes.
I had noticed, sir.
If he doesn't improve, I shall have to replace him.
I can't be expected to face a Nazi invasion with a woolly-headed corporal.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Come in.
-Ah, it's you, Jones.
I was going to send for you.
-Yes, sir.
Permission to have a heart-to-heart, man-to-man talk, sir? Yes, of course.
Come in and sit down.
All right, Jonesy.
You sit down here.
There you are.
Have a seat.
-Can I start? -Yes, of course.
Have you noticed the spring in my step, Captain Mainwaring? I'd hardly describe it as that.
What about you, Mr Wilson? Do you see a glint or a gleam in my eye? Well, now that you come to mention it, Jonesy, you do look a little bit different.
I have fallen in love, Captain Mainwaring.
With a woman.
I see.
Sir, I have the honour to ask your permission to get married.
-Well, it's really nothing to do with me, Jones.
-Oh, don't say that, Captain Mainwaring.
You're my commanding officer and my very help in trouble.
Yes, but you're not in any trouble are you, Jonesy? Oh, no, no, no.
You see, Jones, you're technically a civilian and free to marry when and whom you like.
But do you give me your permission, Captain Mainwaring? -Oh, very well.
If you want it, yes.
Yes, all right.
-Oh, bless you, sir.
I knew you wouldn't let me down.
He's a lovely man, isn't he? Who is the lady in question? Mrs Fox.
Quite sure that you're in love with her? I'm besotted with her.
That's not quite the same thing.
I see her face everywhere I go.
I see it in the trees, in the hills.
I even saw it yesterday on the gasworks.
And every morning I see it on the pillow beside me.
Not really on the pillow.
You didn't think that, did you? And everywhere I glance, there she is, like a will-o'-the-wasp.
-You're quite sure this isn't just a passing fancy? -Oh, no.
It's definitely not a passing fancy.
I've fancied her for 1 7 years.
Jonesy, are you absolutely sure that you want to marry her? No, sir, no.
I'm tortured by self-doubt.
I'm only a humble butcher, you know.
Is it true affection she feels for me? Does she love me for myself? Or does she love me for my meat? -When were you planning to get married? -Well, I don't know if she'll have me.
-Well, you mean you haven't asked her yet? -Oh, yes.
I've asked her.
I've even offered her an ultimatum.
She's supposed to telephone me up at 8:00 with the answer.
Can I sit by the phone, sir? Let me sit next to the phone, sir.
No, I'm sorry, you can't.
I can't have you sitting next to me.
Look here, Jonesy.
Why don't you wait outside in the hall? And then when she calls we'll come and fetch you, all right? Oh, Mr Wilson.
What would I do without your compromising suggestions? Well, sir, I shall be waiting on tenterhooks, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Dear, oh, dear.
He's really got it badly, hasn't he, sir? Here he is.
-What did he say? -He said yes.
He's a lovely man.
He really is a lovely man.
You nay have asked him.
Mrs Fox is a fine, big widow woman.
You should have taken her and hang the consequences.
Oh, I don't think there'd be any consequences.
By the way, she called in just before you came back.
She called in? What did she say? What did she say? She said, as she was passing, she'd put you out of your misery.
Put me out of me misery? Well, what does that mean? They do it to dumb animals when they're past hope.
She's going to ring at 8:00.
I think it's going to be all right.
Exciting, isn't it? Can I come to your bachelor party the night before the wedding, Mr Jones? Of course you can, Pikey.
You can all come.
Be a lot of bachelors there, won't there? I mean, Mr Godfrey's a bachelor, I'm a bachelor, Mr Frazer's a bachelor.
Yeah.
But Mr Frazer hasn't always been a bachelor, have you, Mr Frazer? (LAUGHING SCORNFULLY) Aye, I have indeed.
Mind you, I've never been wanting a lassie.
Well, tell me, have you ever asked one of them and then she phoned up later and said no? As a matter of fact she said yes.
For a while anyway.
Aye, man.
She was a fine lassie.
She had long, sturdy legs.
And she loved to tread the path by the high cliff with the night wind blowing through her tresses.
One night she never came back.
It seemed she was blown over the cliff and carried out to sea.
Every night I stood on that very cliff and shouted, ''Jessie! Jessie, will you no come back to me?'' But the wind just blew the words back in my face.
They mocked me.
Mocked me, do you hear? Many years after, I received a letter.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) It I was sure that it was Contained news of her.
My fingers shook as I opened it.
Aye, son.
I still carry it here next to my heart.
Your heart's on the other side.
Be quiet.
''Dear James, I shall always love you.
I still wear your ring.
''I'm in Singapore and I want to come home and be wed.
''Please send ?40.
''Yours forever, Jessie.
'' Did you send it, Mr Frazer? Away with you, boy.
Do you think I'm made of money? (PHONE RINGING) There's the telephone.
There's the telephone.
Don't panic.
Don't panic.
There's the telephone.
-Go and answer it.
-It's Mrs Fox.
It's for me.
It's Mrs Fox.
That's Mrs Fox.
It's Mrs Fox.
Hello, my darling.
It's me.
Are you going to give me the answer? And don't keep me waiting in suspense any longer.
Because I love you and love you and love you.
And I want to be with you forever and ever.
Oh.
It's the Colonel for you, Captain Mainwaring.
Hello, sir.
Mainwaring here.
I'm sorry about that, sir.
What'd she say? What happened? She turned you down? It wasn't her, but it will be in a minute.
I wish he'd get off that phone.
You going to be long on the phone, Captain Mainwaring? -Get out, Jones.
-Very good, sir.
Thank you very much, sir.
Mrs Fox.
She'll be phoning up in a minute, and all she'll get is the engaged signal.
(PHONE RINGING) There's the phone.
I see.
Yes, of course.
Yes.
Hold on a minute.
Jones, I want you to keep very calm.
This is for you.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Jack Jones Jack Jones, the butcher.
She wants me to sit down, sir.
Give him a chair.
All right, now.
Sit down here, Jonesy.
Come on, sit down.
Sit down and try not to get too worked up.
Oh, thank you, Mr Wilson.
He's a lovely man.
He really is a lovely man.
Yes, yes.
The phone.
I am now sitting down.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you for letting me know.
I'm trying to keep calm, Captain Mainwaring.
I really am trying to keep calm.
Now, never mind, Jonesy.
Never mind.
You know, it's not the end of the world, you know.
-She's a lovely woman, you know.
-Yes.
She really is a lovely woman.
It's no good.
I can't keep calm.
I'm gonna break.
She said she loved me, you know.
She said yes.
I'm gonna marry Mrs Fox.
I'm gonna marry Mrs Fox.
I'm gonna marry Mrs Fox.
I'm gonna marry Mrs Fox! (ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) Yes.
Very well, Mrs Fox.
I'll call round tomorrow evening.
6:00.
Yes.
And you can rest assured that anything you say to me will be treated with the strictest confidence.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) All right.
Goodbye.
-Come in.
Oh, it's you, Wilson.
-Yes.
-Are the men gone? -Yes, sir.
They have.
Did you want them? No, I didn't.
But I did want to speak to you again about Jones.
Yes.
He is still rather excitable, isn't he? You'd have thought he might have calmed down after a week.
Do you think I'm doing the right thing in letting him go ahead with this? Well, you have no authority to do anything else.
On the other hand, it may work out all right, you know.
-After all, they're both the same class.
-Yes.
-Do you really think class matters? -Oh, no question.
No question about it at all.
It's families that make the trouble.
I had to contend with all sorts of snobbish rubbish when I married Elizabeth.
Did you Did you, as it were, marry beneath you? Oh, no, no.
No, the family rather thought that she did.
Oh.
She's very well connected, you know, Elizabeth.
Her father was the suffragan bishop of Clagthorpe.
Oh.
-Was he really? -Led a very sheltered life, you know, Elizabeth.
Funny.
Do you know she hadn't even tried tomato sauce before she met me? I soon put that right.
You know, marrying you must have opened up a whole new world for her.
Oh, yes, I think it did.
But I never felt I never felt at ease with her parents, you know.
Always got the impression they were looking down their noses at me.
This was even after I'd become assistant manager.
Weren't they impressed by that? (SCOFFING) Not a bit.
It was quite a big branch, too, you know.
I had my own partitioned cubicle.
Did you? Still, Jones and Mrs Fox won't be bothered with things like that, will they? Mrs Fox has asked me to go around and see her, you know.
If it's a question of advice, I shall be noncommittal.
-''Let no man put asunder,'' eh, Wilson? -Yes, quite right, sir.
Marriage falls asunder quite easily anyway, doesn't it? Oh, no.
Not in my case.
I've had a very happy marriage.
Very happy indeed.
-That's all.
-All right.
Good night, sir.
-Good night.
-Good night.
(DOORBELL RINGING) MRS FOX: Come in.
It is open.
Just give it a push.
Mrs Fox? Mrs Fox! Oh, hello, Captain Mainwaring.
My goodness, it's not 6:00 already, is it? -6:02, to be precise.
-Oh, my clock's stopped again.
I am sorry.
Anyway, make yourself at home.
I won't be a second.
I'll leave the door open, so we can keep on talking while I'm getting dressed.
-Look, I'll come back in five minutes.
-Oh, no, no, no.
Please don't go.
-I'm perfectly decent underneath.
-Oh, I'm quite sure you are.
-Please sit down.
Please.
-Oh, very well.
There.
I hope you don't mind coming to my little nest.
It's humble, but it's all mine.
I wanted a few moments alone with you before the others arrive.
The others? What others? (COUGHING) Oh, Mrs Pike and Mr Wilson.
Oh, my goodness.
I've got a catch.
Do you think that'll run? I don't know, I'm sure.
Would you mind awfully if I didn't put them on? Not in the least.
Well, I think a lady I don't like to see a lady with bare legs.
And, well, I think a ladder looks even more abandoned, don't you? Yes.
Yes, I'm sure you're right.
-I expect you're wondering what's on my mind.
-Yes, I am.
Well, you see, it's like this, Mr Mainwaring.
I've always had what you might call a soft spot for you.
And I've had a very high regard for you as well.
Oh, dear.
I'm not expressing myself very well, am I? Oh, Mr Mainwaring.
Yes.
You don't want me to beat about the bush, do you? -Well, I'm not quite sure.
-Well, you see, I haven't got a father.
In fact, I have no male relations whatsoever.
-You wouldn't give me away, would you? -Wouldn't I? -At the wedding.
-Oh, at the wedding.
I see what you mean, yes.
Well, yes, of course.
If you want If you wish me to.
Oh, Mr Mainwaring.
Oh, you are a darling.
Oh, you've no idea what a weight that is off my mind.
Look, I think I'll go and come back when the others are due to arrive.
MAVIS: Cooee! -MAVIS: Are you there? -Oh, come in, Mrs Pike.
Come along in, Arthur.
Come in, Frank.
-Good evening, Mrs Fox.
-Good evening.
-Good evening, Mrs Fox.
-Oh, good evening, dear.
Take your hat off, Frank.
Where are your manners? -You're here early, Mr Mainwaring.
-No, no.
No, I was punctual for my appointment.
Mr Mainwaring practically caught me in the bath.
That's somewhat of an exaggeration.
I hope you don't mind me bringing Frank, but we don't like to leave him on his own when there's a war on.
-Do we, Arthur? -Well, I don't know.
Yes Take your scarf off.
There are so very many funny people about.
That's right, dear.
Mum, what could funny people do to me if they found me on me own in wartime? Never you mind.
-JONES: Cooee! Mildred! -Come in, Jack.
-Hello, everyone.
-Oh, don't move.
Don't move.
I want to remember you just standing there.
Who, me? Isn't he lovely? -I'm sorry I'm late.
-No, you're dead on time, Jonesy.
Mr Mainwaring was here first.
Had to help Mrs Fox out the bath.
It was all quite innocent, wasn't it, Mr Mainwaring? Oh, totally innocent.
Totally.
Well, now Jack's here, I think we can start.
Will you all please sit down? -Yes.
Come and sit down, Arthur.
-All right.
Thank you.
-Sit down, Frank.
-Over here.
-Yes.
-All right.
Thank you.
-Sit down, boy.
Sit down.
-Sorry.
What are you doing? Well, I'm very happy to announce that Mr Mainwaring is going to give me away.
-Oh, very nice.
-Frank, give over, dear.
And Mrs Pike has kindly consented to be matron of honour.
And Mr Wilson's going to be best man.
-You're going to be best man? -Yes, that's right, I am.
Yes.
I hope you write everything down otherwise you'll forget it.
Naturally we won't be having a white wedding.
Why not? 'Cause there's a war on.
Now, the bride and the matron of honour will be in turquoise.
Now, what about the men? Well, I'm going to be wearing my regimental regalia with medals.
-Oh, that's very nice.
-Yes.
-I think all the men should be in uniform.
-With medals.
I don't think that's a good idea at all.
No.
No, you see, 'cause Mr Mainwaring and me haven't got any medals, have we? Arthur has.
That's got nothing at all to do with it.
-I just think people are getting tired of uniform.
-Oh, I don't agree.
Let's put it to the vote.
Now, hands up for uniform and medals.
Put your hand down, boy.
You know You still seem to be outvoted.
Well, that's settled then.
Now, the flowers.
Here, Mildred.
Can't you get out the bath on your own? Do I want to be wIth you Right.
Everything's in order in the church.
I've checked it myself.
Wilson's job really, of course, but you can't rely on him.
Hello, Napoleon.
I'm just off to the church.
Everything under control, is it? Of course.
-I didn't know you'd been invited.
-Of course I've been invited.
I'm a friend of the bride.
Mr Mainwaring, all the guests are already in church.
Don't you think Mr Jones should get in there as well? It's five to.
-Five to? Is it so late? -Yes.
Jones.
There's no sign of Mr Wilson yet, and I'm getting meself in a state.
Is it bad luck when the best man doesn't turn up? -It's damned inconvenient.
-Yes.
You'd better get over to the church.
It's all right, Mr Jones.
He'll be here all right.
He was ready when I left.
Only, you see, he was rude to Mum, so she's had to put him in his place.
Go over to the church, Mr Jones.
The bride will be here any second.
We don't want you meeting before the ceremony, do we? No.
We don't want that, do we? Now, that is a bad omen.
That is a bad omen.
-Mr Jones, come on, the church.
-Oh, yes.
Right.
Remember, I want a clear understanding.
No confetti.
Yes, I think we understand that, Mr Yeatman.
Thank you very much.
I'm terribly sorry if I'm a little bit late.
I should jolly well think you are.
Where have you been What's all this? I know.
I'm awfully sorry, sir, but you see, MavisMrs Pike insisted.
I'm wearing my uniform from the First World War.
She found it in a She found it in an old tin trunk.
-It looks ridiculous.
-Yes.
Well, I wouldn't have dreamt of putting it on, but, I mean, she'd hidden my trousers.
-An officer's uniform? -Yes, that's right.
I was an officer.
-You never told me.
-Well, you didn't ask me.
Anyway, it was unimportant.
-These pips denote the rank of captain.
-Yes, that's right.
I was a captain.
Well, I'm blessed.
Doesn't count for anything now, you know.
MRS FOX: Cooee! Are you there, Mr Mainwaring? -Look, you'd better go off into church.
-All right.
-Try not to make a fool of yourself.
-Yes.
All right, sir, all right.
-Well, well.
You do look a pretty pair.
-Thank you.
What a lovely bride you make, Mrs Fox.
-Won't be Mrs Fox much longer.
-No.
No, indeed it won't.
Right.
Well, we're ready when you are, Vicar.
Off we go then.
Remember, I want a solemn undertaking.
-No confetti.
-Oh, come on, Mr Yeatman.
Will you take my arm, Mrs Fox? -Mr Mainwaring.
-Mmm? I think I'm going to cry.
Oh, do try not to.
(ORGAN PLAYING) Here they come.
(ALL CHEERING) No confetti! No confetti! I'm gonna throw confetti, so ya-boo-sucks to you.
-Here.
-You! Don't be a spoilsport.
Mr Yeatman, I thought you said no confetti.
-I did enjoy that.
-So did I.
It's a pagan ceremony.
And in their case, I should have thought a complete waste of time.
Captain Mainwaring, sir.
Captain Mainwaring.
The Colonel's just been on the phone, sir.
He wants you to put the platoon on 30 minutes standby.
Thank you, Sponge.
You hear that? 30 minutes standby.
Must be something important.
Well, we're all here.
I would keep it under our hats for the time being.
But I think we ought to push things along, don't you? -Right, sir.
-Start the speeches.
-Right, sir.
Yes, of course.
-Keep yours short.
-Yes, I will.
Yes.
-Don't get drunk.
What? Would you like one of these, Miss Godfrey? It's cider.
Thank you.
-I hope it won't make us tipsy.
-No -Here's to the bride and groom.
-The bride and groom.
Probably your turn next, Mr Godfrey.
Charles nearly got married once, didn't you, Charles? -I wanted to.
-It would never have done.
Her parents lived in a bungalow.
She married a farmer.
I see her from time to time.
Do you? -She's a widow now.
-Is she? Have another one, Miss Godfrey.
(GAVEL POUNDING) May I have your attention, please? Pray, silence for Captain Mainwaring, who is acting as the bride's father.
Ladies and gentlemen, Jack and (STAMMERING) Mildred.
-I'm not going to make a long speech.
-Good.
I've known Jack for many years and he's the salt of the earth.
WILSON: Hear, hear.
Yes.
He's loyal, he's brave and he's very kind.
And I have no hesitation saying to you, uhMildred, that he's the first man you should turn to if you're in any sort of trouble.
Oh, she's not in trouble, Captain Mainwaring.
I wish you both the very best of luck, and may you be as happy as I have been with my own dear wife, who unfortunately can't be with us this afternoon.
-Where is she, then? -She's staying with her sister.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jack andand Mildred.
Jack and Mildred.
WILSON: Speech.
Come on, give us a speech.
Come on.
ALL: (CHANTING) Speech! -You've got to give the speech.
You, you.
-Oh.
Oh.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank Captain Mainwaring for saying all those kind things, and also for standing in as the bride's father, which he isn't.
And thank you all for coming along, and good health, everyone.
-Good health.
-WILSON: Good luck to you.
-Your turn now, Wilson.
-What? -Keep it short.
-But I don't have to speak at all.
Yes, you do.
You have to toast the matron of honour.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Cap Sergeant Wilson will now say a few words.
Thank you very much indeed, everybody.
But It's my pleasure to propose the toast of the bridesmaid or the matron of honour, I should say.
A lady whom I've known for a considerable number of years.
Mavis, you are one of that happy band of women who give out so much affection and so much love which you don't always get in return.
Anyway, I I think that hat you're wearing is very pretty.
I like it.
Anyway, I'd like to propose now the health of the matron of honour.
ALL: Matron of honour.
MRS JONES: Mrs Pike.
We haven't cut the cake.
Whatever next? We'd forget our heads if they weren't screwed on, wouldn't we? Now, where's my bayonet? -Captain Mainwaring, sir.
Captain Mainwaring.
-Yes.
Colonel's on the phone again.
He wants to speak to you personally.
WILSON: Yes, come along here.
Gather round, gentlemen, have some cake.
Yes.
Cake.
Here we are.
-Now, here we go.
-No, no, no, no! Oh, no, that's only cardboard.
There is a war on, you know.
-Hello, sir.
Mainwaring here.
-Mainwaring.
Everything's a bit confused here.
-But all units are standing by immediately.
-Good Lord.
-Does that mean the balloon's gone up? -Well, not exactly, but barges are moving around the North Sea coast, and the weather's right, so we can't take any chances.
Right, sir.
I'll put my men at action stations at once.
-Good luck.
-Thank you, sir.
-Ladies and gentlemen, please.
Order, please.
-FRAZER: Quiet, quiet.
Please.
(KNOCKING ON TABLE) May I just have your attention for a moment? There's no cause for alarm, but I want all members of the Home Guard to parade outside in the yard immediately, please.
(EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY) Quickly as you can.
Pick up your rifles on the way.
-What's going on, Napoleon? -You'd better contact your headquarters at once.
There's an invasion alert on.
There'll always be an England WhIle there's a country lane Bet you didn't think you were gonna spend your wedding night with me, did you, Mr Jones? No, I did not, Pikey.
You were going to the Esplanade Hotel, Eastgate, weren't you? Yes.
Never mind.
Duty comes first.
I wonder if they'd give me the deposit back on the room.
-Halt! Who goes there? -It's me.
Mrs Jones.
Mrs Jones? I don't know no Mrs Jones.
It's me, Jack.
Me.
-Oh, Mrs Jones, the butcher's wife.
Yes.
-I thought I'd come and sit with you a while.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Here, Pikey, you keep a good lookout, and me and the missus will go and sit down and have a nice little chat.
A nice little cuddle and all.
Nothing like that, Pikey.
Come on.
Come on, my precious.
That's right.
Oh, Jack.
When this is all over, Jack, -can we go and live in a little cottage? -Yes.
-With roses round the door.
-Oh, yes.
And a big fridge in the kitchen.
What would we want a big fridge for? To keep all the big joints of meat in.
-Well, after the war.
-Oh, yes.
After the war.
Not that we won't have a joint or two before then, of course.
Halt! Who goes there? MAINWARING: All right, Pike.
Well done.
It's only us.
-Any sign of anything? -No, it's been ever so quiet.
-Where's Corporal Jones? -Where he should be on his wedding night.
With his bride.
(SNICKERING) You stupid boy.
Here I am, Captain Mainwaring.
I've just been having a little chat with me and the wife, you know.
I kept ever so alert, though.
I've just sent her home.
Yes, that's all right, Jones.
Now, Sergeant Wilson has found a bottle of champagne, so we thought we'd come and drink your health.
-JONES: Oh, that's good, isn't it? -Hand the glasses round.
Well, I haven't brought any glasses, sir.
What's the good of champagne without glasses? Well, I thought you said you were going to bring the glasses.
Where would I find glasses? Hold on, hold on.
There's a couple of mugs here I brought for our cocoa.
You can use them.
-Oh, well, I -I've got my medicine glass.
Yes, well, I suppose that'll have to do then.
All right.
-Pour it out.
-All right.
There we are, Jonesy.
Keep a good lookout over the sea, boy.
You're too young for champagne, anyway.
-Oh, thank you.
-Hello, what are you lot doing here? In case you'd forgotten, there's an invasion alert on.
Haven't you heard? It was a false alarm.
-We got the stand-down half an hour ago.
-So Hitler won't be joining us tonight then? No.
Just as well with you lot guarding us.
(HODGES LAUGHING) -What does that mean? -Well, I mean, look at you.
What good would you be against real soldiers? (HODGES SNICKERING) They'd walk straight through you.
Good night.
-Here, he has no business to -All right, all right.
Don't take any notice of him, men.
Here's to your future health.
-Yes, here's to you, Jonesy.
Good luck to you.
-Here, Jonesy.
-Mr Mainwaring.
-Hmm? Warden wasn't right, was he, when he said the Nazis would walk straight through us? Of course he wasn't right.
Well, I know one thing.
They're not walking straight through me.
Nor me.
-I'll be beside you, Jonesy.
-We'll all be beside you, Jonesy.
We'll stick together.
You can rely on that.
Anybody tries to take our homes or our freedom away from us, they'll find out what we can do.
We'll fight.
And we're not alone.
There are thousands of us all over England.
-And Scotland.
-And Scotland.
All over Great Britain, in fact.
Men who'll stand together when their country needs them.
Excuse me, sir.
Don't you think it might be a nice idea if we were to pay our tribute to them? For once, Wilson, I agree with you.
To Britain's Home Guard.
To Britain's Home Guard.
(PIKE CHOKING)