Suits s09e07 Episode Script
Scenic Route
1 Previously on "Suits" I'm managing partner.
That gives me certain rights Not anymore.
Effective immediately, you're stripped of your title and all the duties that go with it.
Her being here might actually make you fight fair for a change.
How fair do you want this fight to be? Anything that could get us disbarred or put in prison is off-limits.
You got yourself a deal.
I'm not handing Harvey a win, and I'm certainly not handing one to his new second fiddle.
You're not handing anything to anybody.
You lied to me.
All I did was produce a piece of evidence that proves exactly what we know he did.
You didn't produce it.
You fabricated it, because you can't stand someone getting the better of you.
She is never gonna stop coming.
Zane's name, Louis's title, Samantha's job.
I don't want to be a part of doing this to someone's family.
Faye saw me yelling at Samantha, Donna.
That's how she knew.
I just found out where my biological father is.
And I was gonna go tomorrow, but I don't want to go alone.
Well, I could certainly use a break from Faye.
- You'd really go with me? - I'll pick you up in the morning.
Here, I packed you some breakfast for the road.
Thanks.
Listen, are you sure you're good with me going on this trip? Not a lot of women would want their men doing this.
Harvey, I'm not a lot of women.
- No, you're not.
- And the truth is, any one of us would be there for her, but you're the one who knows what she's going through the most.
She was abandoned by her parents.
- I wasn't.
- No, but when it came to your mother, you felt like you were.
And you were estranged from her for a long time.
None of us knows what that feels like.
Maybe I am the best man for the job.
As far as I'm concerned, you're the best man for any job.
And I love you.
Thanks.
[COUGHS.]
I love you, too.
You're an idiot.
[LAUGHING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Two full days.
He's gone two full days.
I can sit in his chair, listen to his records.
I can finally be Harvey Specter, and no one will ever know.
[PHONE RINGING.]
What the is this place bugged? Harvey can't possibly know I'm in here.
Or can he? - Hello? - Hello, this Harvey Specter? Maybe.
That depends.
Who's calling? Have you heard my voice before or met me in any way, shape, or form? No, but I was hoping to soon.
This is Ted Tucker.
- The Ted Tucker? - That's right.
Unless I'm mistaken, you're the Harvey Specter.
You bet your ass I am.
What can I do for you, T-Dog? As long as it's on the phone, I'm good to go.
I was hoping that we could meet on a very important matter.
Fuck, yeah.
Let's set it up.
Any time after Friday.
I have a cold right now, so my voice will be different then, but Next week's not gonna work for me Harvey.
I need to meet with you, and I need it to be today.
Today? In person.
Uh, no, listen, Ted, at the moment I'm a little No "at the moment".
I want to take you to lunch.
And I promise you it'll be the best lunch you've ever had.
The Okay, Ted, can you just hold on one second, please? [QUIRKY MUSIC.]
You know what, T-Dog? I can't make that happen.
But what I can do is I can send my partner, Louis Litt, who happens to be an excellent attorney in his own right.
In fact, when you meet him, he'll sound just like me.
Harvey, I don't want to meet with some schlub I've never heard of.
Now, you want to have the best lunch you've ever had or not? Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there.
What? - [CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
- Nothing.
It's just is this your car? No, I belong to a car club.
Why? It's just this particular car brings up a lot of memories for me.
Like what? For starters, it's the first car I ever drove.
Is that a good memory or a bad one? - Not great.
- You want me to take it back? I know this trip's important to you.
It'll only take an hour.
I appreciate the offer, Harvey, but I just want to get on the road.
- Let's go.
- Thanks.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I didn't mean to do it.
I just threw it over your head.
- You saw.
- I know, Adam.
- It wasn't your fault.
- What are we gonna do? We're gonna tell him I did it.
- S-S-Samantha - Adam, he must've heard it.
He's gonna be down here in about two seconds.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Just do what I say, okay? Which one of you did this? - I did.
- My new car.
My new fucking car! [SIGHS.]
Get in the house.
- I did it.
- Adam.
- What did you just say? - It wasn't her.
It was me.
- And it was an accident.
- Get inside.
- But - Now! No.
You want to hit someone, hit me.
I'm the one who lied about it.
Get the hell inside, then.
And, you, if I ever see you near this car again, you're gonna wish you'd never been born.
Living with you, I bet he already does.
You don't think I know what you're doing? Well, I got news for you.
You're not always gonna be around to protect him.
What's that supposed to mean? I was gonna save it so you wouldn't cause any more trouble, but you're being reassigned next week.
Now get inside before I give him what's coming to him.
[CAR HORN BLARING IN THE DISTANCE.]
[ENGINE TURNING OVER.]
You ready? Yeah, let's go.
See the money, want to stay for your meal Get another piece of pie for your wife Everybody want to know how it feel Everybody want to see what it's like I'll even eat a bean pie, I don't mind Me and Missy is so busy, busy making money All right All step back, I'm 'bout to dance The greenback boogie Suits 9x07 Scenic Route Donna, I need to know every piece of business we have on Reed Communications, and I need it as soon as possible.
Louis, I would love to help you, but right now I'm in the middle of Oh, my God, wig! - Donna.
- Louis, what the hell is on your head? - This is my Harvey wig.
- Your what, what? I'm going to lunch.
I need to pretend to be Harvey.
This is my wig.
What's the problem? Countless things, but, Louis, I'm gonna need you to back up.
Well, how far back do you need me to go? Everyone knows Harvey has great hair.
If I'm gonna pretend to be him, I need the wig.
Further back than that, Louis.
Like, how about all the way back to why you need to pretend to be Harvey in the first place? All right.
I answered Harvey's phone.
And as a prank, for a second, I pretended to be him.
But, Donna, it ended up being Ted Tucker on the other end.
He wanted to meet Harvey for lunch to convince him to sign him, and he's only in town one day.
There was nothing I could do.
There was plenty you could do, like tell him you're not Harvey.
What would be the point of that? Louis, look at me.
You cannot sign him.
The first time he comes to the office, - he's gonna figure it out.
- I know that, Donna.
That's why I need the Reed Communications stuff.
- What are you talking about? - It is a conflict of interest.
I'm just gonna go to lunch, show him Reed's agreement, and explain that we can't sign him.
Louis, this is a really bad idea.
Donna, I was Harvey for two seconds, and it made me feel like I have never felt before.
Harvey gets to feel that way every day of his life.
I just want to feel that way for one lunch.
Okay, Louis, I will let this go.
But one lunch and one lunch only.
Oh, and one more thing.
You want me to get rid of the wig, don't you? More than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life.
Mm-mm.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
Mr.
Specter.
Mr.
Specter.
Mr.
Specter.
All right.
Mr.
Specter.
Harvey Specter in the flesh.
[CHUCKLES.]
All this for just the two of us? Well, I didn't know what you liked, so I just ordered the entire menu.
Of course you did.
And we can get you anything you'd like from anywhere in the state.
- Anything? - Anything.
Well, that won't be necessary.
I'll just take the nine most difficult to find items in Manhattan.
Excellent choices.
And, uh, Mr.
Specter, I'm sorry, but we only have three of the four most expensive bottles of champagne that money can buy.
We, uh, failed to procure the fourth.
Well, I guess we'll just have to settle for three.
[LAUGHING GOOFILY.]
[LAUGHTER.]
So I said, "Life is like this.
I like this.
" I'll bet you did.
Then what happened? He totally caved, like they always do.
Oh.
Ha ha! Of course he did.
[LAUGHS.]
Snails.
[LAUGHTER.]
- I hear you love basketball.
- Yes, I do.
- Want to talk a little LeBron? - No, I do not.
Whatever that is.
Like I don't know.
Up top! [LAUGHTER.]
More champagne, sir? Are you out of your fucking mind, Jeeves? More everything! [LAUGHTER.]
All right, all right, so so the next thing I know, Mike comes out of prison without a scratch on him, and I am waiting there with a limo and his woman.
I mean, who does that? - I do! - [LAUGHTER.]
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Seriously, Harvey, I've heard the stories, but I have just one question.
When you hired Mike Ross, did you know he was a fraud? You really want to know the truth? You know I do.
You can't handle the truth! [LAUGHTER.]
- That's my favorite movie! - Of course it is, Tucker.
I'm Harvey Specter.
Whoo! [LAUGHTER CONTINUES.]
What were the other memories? What? You were saying this car brings back a lot of memories.
I'm just wondering what those memories were.
Let's just say you're not the only one who belongs to that car club.
What are you talking about? Kaldor he used to drive this car all the time.
Thought he was so cool.
Why didn't you tell me that? - Now I want to take it back.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I don't want to look anything like that douche.
Don't worry, Harvey.
You do make it look cool.
Besides, I never actually got to ride in it.
I always wanted to.
Hey, hey, Adam, wake up.
What? What is it Shh, okay.
We're getting away from here.
And we're getting away from him.
What? What are you talking about? - We can't just run away.
- We won't be running.
- We'll be driving.
- You took his keys? He's passed out downstairs.
We'll be miles away before he even knows what happened.
Samantha, we can't just steal his car.
Where are we gonna go? You see this? It's coming your way.
And the longer we spend talking about this, the more time we lose.
It's now or never.
So grab a bag, and let's go.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- So you just stole a car? - Yeah.
We would've gotten away with it if we hadn't been pulled over.
What, he woke up and called the cops? No, we got pulled over for the goddamn broken taillight.
Oh, jeez.
It could've been worse.
I ended up with a new family, and neither of us had to go back to Ron.
What happened to the little boy? I don't know.
- You know how it is.
- No, I don't.
And I'm really sorry that you do.
Well, I have plenty of other stories for another time.
Another time? Why not right now? Because I don't love talking about my childhood.
I can't believe I even told you this story.
I'm glad you did.
I never actually knew there was a caring side to you, Eric.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, it's there.
You just have to get to know me a little bit.
Truth be told as much as, uh, we've gotten to know each other on this case, I really wouldn't mind getting to know you better.
How about you just concentrate on getting to know those files? I'll do my best, but, uh I'm having trouble concentrating on anything right about now.
Okay I think it's time we talk about the elephant in the room.
You mean you getting fired because of me? I mean why I fabricated that evidence in the first place.
I know why you did it.
You can't stand to lose.
Well, if you know that and you're always saying how much alike we are, I don't understand why you got so mad at me.
Because I told Mike we wouldn't cross any lines.
And I know you didn't make that promise, and I know our client wasn't breaking any laws with the way they treated those workers.
It's just What? Mike's always on me about about doing the right thing, and now he's out there walking the walk, and the least I owe him is to think about right and wrong once in a while.
You really admire him, don't you? I don't just admire him, Samantha.
He went to prison for me.
Talk about somebody who's got your back.
I get it.
I'm sorry.
It's just when I went to see him, he called me "second fiddle".
After that, all I could see was red.
I shouldn't have fabricated that evidence.
If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't.
Okay, then.
So we're good? We're good.
Louis, what the hell happened? I just got an engagement letter from Ted Tucker.
What happened was it was the greatest lunch of my life.
I mean, it went perfectly right up until I told him we couldn't sign him as a client because we had a conflict.
- And then what happened? - He waived conflict.
Louis, he can't do that.
It's not up to him.
- It's up to Reed Communications.
- Not anymore.
- What are you talking about? - He bought them, Donna.
I was sitting right there.
Pulls out his phone.
Next thing I know, he buys a Fortune 500 company just as easy as ordering chicken pot pie, which he also did.
I mean, they didn't even have chicken pot pie, but they brought it to us, along with nine other impossible to find things.
You want to know why? Because I'm Harvey Specter.
But, Louis, you aren't Harvey Specter, and you could've told him that at any time.
Did you hear what I just said? They brought us chicken pot pie.
Well, now I am bringing you something else.
The name of Reed Communications' in-house counsel, Harold Gunderson.
And he just called me to set up a meeting with Harvey.
He wants to set up a late lunch right away.
But I'm stuffed.
How does he eat so much and stay so thin? - I need a fucking nap.
- Louis, focus! You cannot keep this charade up any longer.
Harold knows that you're not Harvey.
So you better think of something before this whole thing gets more out of control than it already is.
Okay.
I think I know what I'm gonna do.
What? Thinking like Louis got me into this.
Thinking like Harvey is gonna get me out.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Well? - What do you think? - Are you serious? Eric, I told you that was not a great night for me.
I know, but I I thought we could take a bad memory and, you know, turn it into a good one.
You know what? This is a bad idea.
No, wait.
Come on, please, please, don't.
S-Samantha, come on, it's our six-month anniversary, you know? Please, don't don't let whatever car I chose ruin that.
You noticed it was our six-month anniversary.
Of course I did.
It's been one of the best six months of my entire life.
- You're such a bullshitter.
- I am, but not about this.
Want me to get a different car? I'll get a different car.
- You'd really exchange it? - Yeah, I would.
Go upstairs.
I'll be back in an hour.
Hey, see that billboard? Best burgers in 50 miles.
- Every billboard says that.
- Come on.
Nothing like a good burger on a road trip.
It'll take too long.
I want to get there before dark.
What, do you turn into a werewolf? I just want to get there, Harvey.
All right.
Next gas station we'll fill up, and I'll get some M&M'S or something.
That's what you like? M&M'S? No, I like burgers.
So are you gonna let me have one, or are you gonna give me shit about M&M'S? Louis, what are you doing here? Where's Harvey? I've been calling him all day.
Harvey's not coming, Harold I am.
And here's what's gonna happen.
You and I are gonna figure out a way to tank this deal.
What? Why would we do that? Because Harvey doesn't want it anymore.
But he just had lunch with Ted, like, three hours ago when they came up with this whole thing.
Why would he change his mind? I'll tell you why.
Because Harvey wasn't feeling himself today.
So what, I'm supposed to just roll over for a man who doesn't even have the courtesy to come see me himself? God damn it, Harold.
I don't like this either.
He clearly thinks so little of you that you're not worth his time, but thinks so little of me that you are worth my time.
Wait, did that track? Yeah, it does.
Well, if you're so pissed about it, then why'd you come? What are you, an asshole? No one says no to Harvey Specter, least of all you, and don't you dare show your face in our offices today looking for him, or by God, he will have me throw you out.
Louis, what happened to you, man? Are you his partner or his lackey? You know what, Harold? As far as you're concerned, I'm not his partner or his lackey.
I am Harvey Specter.
So you sign this cancellation, you get it back to us by tomorrow, or I will take that gun from your bluff, or I will call your hand, or I will take 146 other guns, and I will fire them at your face.
Nailed that shit.
- Alex, do you have a second? - Of course.
- What can I do for you? - It's about Gavin Andrews.
Donna, as far as I know, Gavin Andrews is in a federal courthouse right now, largely because of me.
I don't think I'm gonna be able to get a hold of him.
Then it's a good thing I don't need Gavin.
I need whoever does his dirty work in the art world.
Am I gonna have to guess what this is about, - or are you gonna tell me? - I need one of these.
And I need it to be perfect.
Donna, if you're asking what I think you're asking, - is this legal? - It is.
Well, it may be legal, but it isn't gonna be easy.
Tell you one thing, it's gonna be a hell of a lot easier than what I'm gonna do with it once I get it.
Oh, and did I mention that I need it done in 24 hours? 24 hours? Good Lord, woman.
Do I look like a wizard to you? A wizard in a very fine suit.
Come on, Alex.
I'll owe you one.
An all-access favor from Donna Paulsen.
- Tough to turn down.
- Excellent.
But I'm gonna go ahead and ask for two.
Nobody gets two.
- Okay, I'll give you two.
- Look at that.
I am a wizard.
I turned one favor into two.
Just get it done, Gandalf.
- You know who Gandalf is? - I know who everybody is.
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE.]
Hello? Harvey, it's Harold Gunderson.
Harold who? Gunderson.
How many Harold's do you know? I didn't think I knew any.
I worked at your firm for three years? Uh-huh.
Let me ask you something.
How'd you get my personal number? Doesn't matter, Harvey.
What matters is you're running scared, and I'm telling you it's time to face up like a man.
I'm sorry.
What did you just say? I know you sent Louis to run interference on me because you think Ted Tucker's overpaying for us.
Back up a second, Harold.
It sounds like you're a little mixed up.
Am I? I know you had lunch with Tucker today.
Louis admitted as much when he came to me and said as far as I'm concerned, he's you.
- He said what? - He said he was you.
But I don't care about him.
I care about you.
And what you're going to do is go back to your office so we can settle this.
Harold, I do things on my schedule.
So I'll be back when I'm back.
And unless you want that to happen six months from now, you're gonna tell me everything that Louis said, and you're not gonna leave out one word.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
You look happy.
They must've had plain and peanut M&M'S.
I just got the strangest call.
What? I think Louis is pretending to be me.
- You're kidding.
- I'm not.
In fact, I don't just think it.
He is 100% running around town pretending to be me.
And how does that make you feel? To tell you the truth, it might be one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- What is it with you two? When I found out Katrina was pretending to be me, I wanted to kill her.
You look like you want to give him an Emmy.
Believe me there have been plenty of times I wanted to kill Louis.
I put him through a table a few years ago.
You did? Why? - I don't want to get into it.
- Oh, come on.
He found out I slept with his sister.
You slept with Louis's sister? She doesn't look anything like him, I swear.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait, let me get this straight.
Not only did you sleep with his sister, you beat him up because you slept with his sister? It's complicated math, but it adds up trust me.
Well, as I see it, Louis is jealous of you, in love with you, and intimidated by you all at the same time.
Well, there's a headline from 1996.
Well, here's a headline maybe you don't know.
When I first met you, I was intimidated by you.
- You're kidding.
- No.
You're a legend, Harvey.
I'm not.
I thought maybe I was as good as you, but I didn't know.
Well, I'm not gonna admit that you're as good as me, but I'm not gonna say you're not.
So what are you gonna do about Louis? What you do say we have some fun? [CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
Okay, I took care of Harold.
Now, what would Harvey do? What would Harvey do? What would Harvey do? [CELL PHONE BUZZING.]
Oh, God.
Maybe it's a sign.
- Hello? - Is this Harvey Specter? I need to speak to him immediately.
Yeah, this is Harvey.
Is this something for Ted? No, sir.
I work for Harold Gunderson.
I just wanted to let you know he's on his way over.
- Here? - Yes, to your offices.
He's actually getting off the elevator.
[STAMMERS.]
Well, he can't see me in here.
In fact, I'm not here.
I don't know what that means, sir, but he's walking towards your offices as we speak.
Well, I know I said I'm not here, but I can't see him.
I don't know what to tell you, sir.
He's ten feet from you.
Five feet, three feet.
He's right outside your door.
- How can you know that? - Oh, I'm sorry.
He's on the wrong floor.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, thank God.
Nope, wrong again.
Headed straight for you.
God damn it, make up your mind.
[LAUGHTER.]
Should we let him off the hook? - Hello? - Oh, my God, we better.
[LAUGHING.]
I could see Louis jumping out the window.
I thought our windows didn't open.
That won't stop him.
He's got super strength when he's cornered.
- Hello? - Have you ever seen a badger fight a tiger? Has a badger ever fought a tiger? I'll tell you that in a minute.
What are you guys doing making sandwiches? Louis, it's Harvey.
Harold's not coming over there.
- He's not? - He's not.
What the fuck are you doing with his secretary? That wasn't his secretary.
That was Samantha.
She was pretending to be his secretary, just like you've been pretending to be me.
Where would you get that idea? - Louis, come on.
- All right, Harvey.
I'm sorry.
I should not have done it.
I mean, one thing led to another.
Now I don't have a way out.
Louis, whoever it is you just got to come clean.
Okay, Harvey, I will.
That was pretty kind of you I mean, after we almost caused the poor man to have a stroke.
Hey, if you can't do something to cause Louis to have a stroke once in a while, what's the purpose of living? [LAUGHTER.]
Hey, look at that scenic route.
What do you say we take it to the next exit? I'd really rather not, Harvey.
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, one exit.
Katrina Good.
You're here.
I need to know what kind of connections you have in the art world because mine just dried up.
And what makes you think I even have connections in the art world? Because you have clients in fashion and friends in ballet.
Art didn't seem like much of a stretch.
Okay, fine.
I just didn't want to be pigeon-holed.
What do you need? I need a perfect copy of this, and I need it in less than a day.
This isn't going to be easy.
I know, but it's personal.
It's for Donna.
And the fact that she's willing to give me two favors for it means it's important.
- Hold on.
Donna gave you two favors? - She did.
Well, if I help you, I want one of those favors.
I'll give you half of one, and that's my final offer.
You can split a favor in half.
Sure I can.
I'm Gandalf.
- What's a "Dandalf"? - With a G.
You've never heard of Gandalf? Alex, you know I'm not a sports fan.
Now, why don't we stop wasting time and get to figuring out how to make this happen? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Maybe we should stop somewhere.
No, I want to get as far away from him as possible.
But you've been driving for two hours, and we left in the middle of the night.
And I'm going to keep driving until we get to the next state.
[SIGHS.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
Oh, shit.
[GROANS.]
What are we gonna do? Whatever story I say, just follow it.
- I'm scared.
- [CAR DOORS OPEN, CLOSE.]
It'll be okay.
[THUD, AIR HISSES.]
- Oh, damn.
- What the hell was that? I think we hit some kind of hole.
[ENGINE STOPS, CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
[GROANS.]
God damn it.
- How bad is it? - It's not good.
The tire's done.
Oh, shit.
What now? There's no jack.
[SIGHS.]
Son of a bitch! It's all right.
I'll text Triple-A.
They'll be here within an hour.
Okay, but the next time I say I don't want to take the scenic route, we're not taking the fucking scenic route.
Louis, what are you doing here? I'm here to come clean.
Let me guess you're pretending to be Harvey and Ted Tucker doesn't know it? How did you know? After I talked to Harvey, something just didn't seem to add up, so I called Tucker's office, and I asked him to describe Harvey.
And unless he shrunk 5 inches, put on 20 pounds, and his teeth doubled in size, it was you.
What I want to know is, why? [SIGHS.]
Harold If you found a million dollars in a duffle bag, would you do the right thing, or would you take it and run? A chance to be Harvey Specter fell in my lap, and I took it.
But I can't let Tucker find out, which is why I'm asking you to play along for just one meeting.
Why should I? Because you owe me.
I got you out of prison.
You did that for Mike just as much as you did that for me.
Well, then I'll owe you one.
- Not good enough.
- God damn it, Harold.
In the last six months, Robert Zane's name came down, I have a special master installed in my firm, and I lost managing partner.
All I wanted was to get out of my own life and enjoy myself for one day.
Please, Harold.
I need this.
Okay, fine.
I'll go along with it, but you owe me one.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
All right, all right, all right.
I got us some new some new fresh wine, 'cause that old wine I hated that old stuff.
It was it's from the Jerk.
- You're a jerk.
- Yes, I am.
But I'm your jerk, baby.
Mm I want to, uh, talk to you about something.
What? Oh I'm done.
- What? - I want to leave my wife.
What about your children? Because if you think you can leave and it's not gonna mess them up for the rest of their lives, then you don't know anything.
Wait, if you didn't think I was gonna leave, what have we been doing this whole time? I guess I'd have to say we've been making a huge mistake.
What did you think would happen? I didn't think that far.
But you want to break up your family over this? What kind of a man would do that to his own kids? You're just as much a part of this as I am, all right? So, you know, what kind of woman would? I don't know.
Whatever kind it is, I'm not gonna do it anymore.
Oh, Samantha, whoa, whoa.
Come on.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Come on, God damn it.
I planned this entire weekend, all right? I-if you don't to do this, it's fine, all right? That doesn't mean it has to end.
Yes, Eric, it does.
Wait, come on, Samantha.
- Please.
- Don't! Don't touch me! This was always a fling for me, and now it is over.
All right, I see what's going on here.
This is not about me being a bad father to my kids.
This is about me being a bad father to you.
- What did you say? - You've been using me to be the daddy that you never had, but now that I'm not living up to it - Get the hell out.
- Is Robert next? Or has that happened already? If you don't leave in five seconds, somebody's gonna get hurt, and it's not gonna be me.
Yeah, good luck getting a ride home.
I can't believe this.
[SIGHS.]
I never should've agreed to come in this car.
First Kaldor tries to get me to go with him in it, now you.
Wait a second.
What do you mean he tried to get you to go with him? - With him where? - Nothing, never mind.
No, something's up with you two.
Whenever we go up against him, you are hell-bent on winning.
I'm always hell-bent on winning.
You said it yourself.
Well, I also know when someone's not telling me the full story, and It's happening right now.
- We were together, okay? - What do you mean "together"? One-time thing? No, Harvey, not a one-time thing.
And he had a family, and I have a terrible history with men.
Of course you do 'cause of your childhood.
What are you talking about? Deep down, for years, I knew I wanted to be with Donna.
Just couldn't access it.
Why not? Because of the shit that comes from having a fucked-up childhood.
What happened to you? My mom cheated on my dad for most of my life.
I knew it, and I kept it a secret from him.
Jesus, that might be worse than having no parents at all.
- Thanks.
- I didn't mean it that way.
I know.
Shit.
What? Text didn't go through.
Are you shitting me? There's not a good signal here.
I'm just gonna walk up the road.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
- You ready? - I am.
Good.
All you have to do you go in there, you refuse to come to terms, and it'll all be over.
That's not what I'm ready for, Louis.
You see, I realized that a favor from Harvey is definitely better than a favor from you.
- What do you want? - I want an all-purpose IOU from him, good any minute of any day.
I can't promise you he'll do that.
Well, then you better get him on the phone, because in two minutes, I tell Tucker the truth.
- Then do it.
- What? You heard me.
This is enough.
I did what I did, and I am not ashamed.
So you go in there and you tell him, or you don't, but I'm not gonna be bullied by the likes of you, Harold.
Okay, fine, I'll go along with it, but under one condition.
- I want to come home.
- What do you mean "home"? - I don't even know where you're from.
- Yes, you do.
I'm from here.
I want to come back.
Is this a trick? You gonna change your mind again? No, Louis, I won't, because I've never been happier than when I was here.
I'll think about it, Harold.
But what I got to do right now is go in there and end this thing once and for all.
[CELL PHONE BUZZING.]
Hey.
Hey, how's it going? How's the trip? Well, at the moment, Samantha's about 50 yards down the road.
We're stopped with a flat tire, and we're waiting for Triple-A to come.
- You're kidding me.
- I'm not.
And on top of that, she thinks it's my fault.
- Is it? - Yes, but you know I don't like being held accountable for my actions.
I'm sorry it's not going great, Harvey.
The truth is, it hasn't been easy, but it's been good.
Good.
I miss you.
I miss you, too.
Well, what'd they say? Holy shit, I forgot to call.
Are you fucking kidding me? I was about to call, but then Donna called me, and I was telling her what a good time we were having.
Damn it, Harvey.
This isn't a good time.
This is a mission, and I don't want to stop for burgers, and I don't want to take the scenic route.
And now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere because you made us do all of that.
And instead of getting us out of here so I can be there tonight, you're doing fucking nothing! Samantha [SIGHS.]
I'm afraid, Harvey.
I'm afraid to see him, and now I now I just want to go home.
Of course you're afraid.
You don't know what he'll be like.
No.
I'm afraid because I know what he did.
He gave me up.
And the childhood I had I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
- [SIGHS.]
- Samantha you said that you'd be better off with no parent than one like my mom, but you're wrong, because I forgave her and I'm better for it and so is she.
- And you owe it - I don't owe him anything.
I was gonna say you owe it to yourself.
This isn't about him.
This is about you.
I used to tell myself that he had to give me up, that if he could, he would've kept me.
That he wanted to, he just couldn't.
What if that wasn't true then and it isn't true now? Then you'll know.
But right now we're gonna call Triple-A together, and we're gonna drive as long as it takes to get there because I'm not letting you down.
You ready? I'm ready.
I'll be right here.
[SIGHS.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[POIGNANT MUSIC.]
[KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- Jeff Gardner? - Yeah? My name is Samantha Wheeler.
I'm your daughter.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO.]
Samantha, my name is Judy O'Brien.
Please have a seat.
Let me guess.
You're here to reassign us.
I don't work for Protective Services.
I'm a foster parent, and I promise if you come stay with me, you'll be glad you did.
Why would you want a kid like me who just stole a car and kidnapped another kid? Because there's always a reason.
Tell me why you ran away.
No.
This is a trap.
I'm not falling for it.
Listen to me.
I've seen kids like you.
Half of them make it.
Half of them don't.
But the ones that don't didn't trust anyone.
This is your chance, Samantha.
Please take it.
So how'd it go? He never even knew I existed.
- How is that possible? - It was a fling.
He and my mother knew each other for all of a few months.
She left the state and never even told him she was pregnant.
How did he react to the news that he had a daughter? He said he doesn't know what he would've done at the time, but he wishes he would've known.
And your mom? Evidently she was strong-willed, didn't take shit from anybody and for better or worse, she did things her own way.
Sure doesn't sound like anybody I know.
I guess that means he doesn't know where she is now.
She passed away when I was two.
That was the last he heard of her.
They must've taken me when she died.
Which means nobody gave you up at all.
No, they didn't, but I still have all this anger inside of me and nowhere to put it.
Maybe you don't have to put it anywhere.
Maybe you can just let it go.
Would you have been able to do that? I don't know.
In my situation I didn't think I could until I did.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC.]
Excuse me.
I have a delivery for one Donna Paulsen.
Thank you, Alex.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to go do my thing.
Before you do, do you mind if I ask why you're doing this? Among other things, Harvey's been out of town, and it just made me appreciate how much I love it when he's here.
You wanted to get him something.
Exactly.
And believe me, this is what you give the man who has everything.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Louis, I was just looking for you.
Is there a reason we're offering Harold Gunderson a job again? Yes, there is.
It's complicated, and I don't feel like going into it right now.
Does it have something to do with the fact that you had to hire him because you've been pretending to be Harvey? - How did you know? - I have my sources.
Well, it does have to do with that, and it doesn't.
What does that mean? It means I didn't hire him to get out of it, but I did get out of it.
You mind if I ask how? By doing what I should've done in the first place.
I told Tucker that I am not Harvey Specter, I am Louis Litt, and I got him a better deal than Harvey ever could have, because Harvey may be the best closer in the city but I'm the best everything else.
- What did he say to that? - He said he'd sign.
That's pretty good.
I just had to realize that it's great being Harvey, but I'd rather be me.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
- You're home.
- I am.
Good.
- I got you a present.
- Wait a second.
Aren't I the one that's supposed to bring you something? - Did you? - No.
Carry on.
[LAUGHS.]
It's okay.
What I got us is as much for me as it is for you because I get to see the look on your face.
I don't understand.
How? Let's just say Alex found a forger.
The forger is perfect.
I mean, this is perfect.
You're perfect.
I'm better than perfect because I didn't give you the forgery, Harvey.
It's hanging in Elliott Stemple's office as we speak.
- You're kidding.
- Nope.
I "Thomas Crown Affair"-ed that shit.
- [GASPS.]
- Or did I? Seriously, Donna, is this it? Yes.
Or is it? - Stop it.
- [LAUGHS.]
I love you, Harvey.
You're the real thing.
And so is this.
What's going on? Nothing.
I just need to call.
I know who you need to call.
I'll be in the bedroom.
[LINE TRILLING.]
- [LINE CLICKS.]
- Hello? Mom, it's me.
What's going on? It's late.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I was just thinking about you.
Do you remember the time we won the Little League championship? Of course I do.
You pitched five innings, played shortstop, and hit two doubles.
A mother remembers these things.
Then I'm sure you'll remember I walked off the field, and it was supposed to be you and Dad, and He wasn't there.
I was so mad at you for telling me he'd be there.
You didn't say a thing except to defend him.
You know, it never occurred to me that it was actually his fault.
He wasn't perfect, Harvey, and neither was I.
But I never held a grudge against him.
I'm sorry it took me so long to forgive you.
I let it cover up any good memories, and then I wouldn't let us make any new ones.
It's okay.
You're my son, Harvey.
I never stopped loving you.
I love you, Mom.
I love you, too, Harvey.
You still there? Want to keep talking? What do you say we just sit together for a while? That'd be nice.
That gives me certain rights Not anymore.
Effective immediately, you're stripped of your title and all the duties that go with it.
Her being here might actually make you fight fair for a change.
How fair do you want this fight to be? Anything that could get us disbarred or put in prison is off-limits.
You got yourself a deal.
I'm not handing Harvey a win, and I'm certainly not handing one to his new second fiddle.
You're not handing anything to anybody.
You lied to me.
All I did was produce a piece of evidence that proves exactly what we know he did.
You didn't produce it.
You fabricated it, because you can't stand someone getting the better of you.
She is never gonna stop coming.
Zane's name, Louis's title, Samantha's job.
I don't want to be a part of doing this to someone's family.
Faye saw me yelling at Samantha, Donna.
That's how she knew.
I just found out where my biological father is.
And I was gonna go tomorrow, but I don't want to go alone.
Well, I could certainly use a break from Faye.
- You'd really go with me? - I'll pick you up in the morning.
Here, I packed you some breakfast for the road.
Thanks.
Listen, are you sure you're good with me going on this trip? Not a lot of women would want their men doing this.
Harvey, I'm not a lot of women.
- No, you're not.
- And the truth is, any one of us would be there for her, but you're the one who knows what she's going through the most.
She was abandoned by her parents.
- I wasn't.
- No, but when it came to your mother, you felt like you were.
And you were estranged from her for a long time.
None of us knows what that feels like.
Maybe I am the best man for the job.
As far as I'm concerned, you're the best man for any job.
And I love you.
Thanks.
[COUGHS.]
I love you, too.
You're an idiot.
[LAUGHING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Two full days.
He's gone two full days.
I can sit in his chair, listen to his records.
I can finally be Harvey Specter, and no one will ever know.
[PHONE RINGING.]
What the is this place bugged? Harvey can't possibly know I'm in here.
Or can he? - Hello? - Hello, this Harvey Specter? Maybe.
That depends.
Who's calling? Have you heard my voice before or met me in any way, shape, or form? No, but I was hoping to soon.
This is Ted Tucker.
- The Ted Tucker? - That's right.
Unless I'm mistaken, you're the Harvey Specter.
You bet your ass I am.
What can I do for you, T-Dog? As long as it's on the phone, I'm good to go.
I was hoping that we could meet on a very important matter.
Fuck, yeah.
Let's set it up.
Any time after Friday.
I have a cold right now, so my voice will be different then, but Next week's not gonna work for me Harvey.
I need to meet with you, and I need it to be today.
Today? In person.
Uh, no, listen, Ted, at the moment I'm a little No "at the moment".
I want to take you to lunch.
And I promise you it'll be the best lunch you've ever had.
The Okay, Ted, can you just hold on one second, please? [QUIRKY MUSIC.]
You know what, T-Dog? I can't make that happen.
But what I can do is I can send my partner, Louis Litt, who happens to be an excellent attorney in his own right.
In fact, when you meet him, he'll sound just like me.
Harvey, I don't want to meet with some schlub I've never heard of.
Now, you want to have the best lunch you've ever had or not? Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there.
What? - [CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
- Nothing.
It's just is this your car? No, I belong to a car club.
Why? It's just this particular car brings up a lot of memories for me.
Like what? For starters, it's the first car I ever drove.
Is that a good memory or a bad one? - Not great.
- You want me to take it back? I know this trip's important to you.
It'll only take an hour.
I appreciate the offer, Harvey, but I just want to get on the road.
- Let's go.
- Thanks.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I didn't mean to do it.
I just threw it over your head.
- You saw.
- I know, Adam.
- It wasn't your fault.
- What are we gonna do? We're gonna tell him I did it.
- S-S-Samantha - Adam, he must've heard it.
He's gonna be down here in about two seconds.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- Just do what I say, okay? Which one of you did this? - I did.
- My new car.
My new fucking car! [SIGHS.]
Get in the house.
- I did it.
- Adam.
- What did you just say? - It wasn't her.
It was me.
- And it was an accident.
- Get inside.
- But - Now! No.
You want to hit someone, hit me.
I'm the one who lied about it.
Get the hell inside, then.
And, you, if I ever see you near this car again, you're gonna wish you'd never been born.
Living with you, I bet he already does.
You don't think I know what you're doing? Well, I got news for you.
You're not always gonna be around to protect him.
What's that supposed to mean? I was gonna save it so you wouldn't cause any more trouble, but you're being reassigned next week.
Now get inside before I give him what's coming to him.
[CAR HORN BLARING IN THE DISTANCE.]
[ENGINE TURNING OVER.]
You ready? Yeah, let's go.
See the money, want to stay for your meal Get another piece of pie for your wife Everybody want to know how it feel Everybody want to see what it's like I'll even eat a bean pie, I don't mind Me and Missy is so busy, busy making money All right All step back, I'm 'bout to dance The greenback boogie Suits 9x07 Scenic Route Donna, I need to know every piece of business we have on Reed Communications, and I need it as soon as possible.
Louis, I would love to help you, but right now I'm in the middle of Oh, my God, wig! - Donna.
- Louis, what the hell is on your head? - This is my Harvey wig.
- Your what, what? I'm going to lunch.
I need to pretend to be Harvey.
This is my wig.
What's the problem? Countless things, but, Louis, I'm gonna need you to back up.
Well, how far back do you need me to go? Everyone knows Harvey has great hair.
If I'm gonna pretend to be him, I need the wig.
Further back than that, Louis.
Like, how about all the way back to why you need to pretend to be Harvey in the first place? All right.
I answered Harvey's phone.
And as a prank, for a second, I pretended to be him.
But, Donna, it ended up being Ted Tucker on the other end.
He wanted to meet Harvey for lunch to convince him to sign him, and he's only in town one day.
There was nothing I could do.
There was plenty you could do, like tell him you're not Harvey.
What would be the point of that? Louis, look at me.
You cannot sign him.
The first time he comes to the office, - he's gonna figure it out.
- I know that, Donna.
That's why I need the Reed Communications stuff.
- What are you talking about? - It is a conflict of interest.
I'm just gonna go to lunch, show him Reed's agreement, and explain that we can't sign him.
Louis, this is a really bad idea.
Donna, I was Harvey for two seconds, and it made me feel like I have never felt before.
Harvey gets to feel that way every day of his life.
I just want to feel that way for one lunch.
Okay, Louis, I will let this go.
But one lunch and one lunch only.
Oh, and one more thing.
You want me to get rid of the wig, don't you? More than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life.
Mm-mm.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC.]
Mr.
Specter.
Mr.
Specter.
Mr.
Specter.
All right.
Mr.
Specter.
Harvey Specter in the flesh.
[CHUCKLES.]
All this for just the two of us? Well, I didn't know what you liked, so I just ordered the entire menu.
Of course you did.
And we can get you anything you'd like from anywhere in the state.
- Anything? - Anything.
Well, that won't be necessary.
I'll just take the nine most difficult to find items in Manhattan.
Excellent choices.
And, uh, Mr.
Specter, I'm sorry, but we only have three of the four most expensive bottles of champagne that money can buy.
We, uh, failed to procure the fourth.
Well, I guess we'll just have to settle for three.
[LAUGHING GOOFILY.]
[LAUGHTER.]
So I said, "Life is like this.
I like this.
" I'll bet you did.
Then what happened? He totally caved, like they always do.
Oh.
Ha ha! Of course he did.
[LAUGHS.]
Snails.
[LAUGHTER.]
- I hear you love basketball.
- Yes, I do.
- Want to talk a little LeBron? - No, I do not.
Whatever that is.
Like I don't know.
Up top! [LAUGHTER.]
More champagne, sir? Are you out of your fucking mind, Jeeves? More everything! [LAUGHTER.]
All right, all right, so so the next thing I know, Mike comes out of prison without a scratch on him, and I am waiting there with a limo and his woman.
I mean, who does that? - I do! - [LAUGHTER.]
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Seriously, Harvey, I've heard the stories, but I have just one question.
When you hired Mike Ross, did you know he was a fraud? You really want to know the truth? You know I do.
You can't handle the truth! [LAUGHTER.]
- That's my favorite movie! - Of course it is, Tucker.
I'm Harvey Specter.
Whoo! [LAUGHTER CONTINUES.]
What were the other memories? What? You were saying this car brings back a lot of memories.
I'm just wondering what those memories were.
Let's just say you're not the only one who belongs to that car club.
What are you talking about? Kaldor he used to drive this car all the time.
Thought he was so cool.
Why didn't you tell me that? - Now I want to take it back.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I don't want to look anything like that douche.
Don't worry, Harvey.
You do make it look cool.
Besides, I never actually got to ride in it.
I always wanted to.
Hey, hey, Adam, wake up.
What? What is it Shh, okay.
We're getting away from here.
And we're getting away from him.
What? What are you talking about? - We can't just run away.
- We won't be running.
- We'll be driving.
- You took his keys? He's passed out downstairs.
We'll be miles away before he even knows what happened.
Samantha, we can't just steal his car.
Where are we gonna go? You see this? It's coming your way.
And the longer we spend talking about this, the more time we lose.
It's now or never.
So grab a bag, and let's go.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- So you just stole a car? - Yeah.
We would've gotten away with it if we hadn't been pulled over.
What, he woke up and called the cops? No, we got pulled over for the goddamn broken taillight.
Oh, jeez.
It could've been worse.
I ended up with a new family, and neither of us had to go back to Ron.
What happened to the little boy? I don't know.
- You know how it is.
- No, I don't.
And I'm really sorry that you do.
Well, I have plenty of other stories for another time.
Another time? Why not right now? Because I don't love talking about my childhood.
I can't believe I even told you this story.
I'm glad you did.
I never actually knew there was a caring side to you, Eric.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, it's there.
You just have to get to know me a little bit.
Truth be told as much as, uh, we've gotten to know each other on this case, I really wouldn't mind getting to know you better.
How about you just concentrate on getting to know those files? I'll do my best, but, uh I'm having trouble concentrating on anything right about now.
Okay I think it's time we talk about the elephant in the room.
You mean you getting fired because of me? I mean why I fabricated that evidence in the first place.
I know why you did it.
You can't stand to lose.
Well, if you know that and you're always saying how much alike we are, I don't understand why you got so mad at me.
Because I told Mike we wouldn't cross any lines.
And I know you didn't make that promise, and I know our client wasn't breaking any laws with the way they treated those workers.
It's just What? Mike's always on me about about doing the right thing, and now he's out there walking the walk, and the least I owe him is to think about right and wrong once in a while.
You really admire him, don't you? I don't just admire him, Samantha.
He went to prison for me.
Talk about somebody who's got your back.
I get it.
I'm sorry.
It's just when I went to see him, he called me "second fiddle".
After that, all I could see was red.
I shouldn't have fabricated that evidence.
If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't.
Okay, then.
So we're good? We're good.
Louis, what the hell happened? I just got an engagement letter from Ted Tucker.
What happened was it was the greatest lunch of my life.
I mean, it went perfectly right up until I told him we couldn't sign him as a client because we had a conflict.
- And then what happened? - He waived conflict.
Louis, he can't do that.
It's not up to him.
- It's up to Reed Communications.
- Not anymore.
- What are you talking about? - He bought them, Donna.
I was sitting right there.
Pulls out his phone.
Next thing I know, he buys a Fortune 500 company just as easy as ordering chicken pot pie, which he also did.
I mean, they didn't even have chicken pot pie, but they brought it to us, along with nine other impossible to find things.
You want to know why? Because I'm Harvey Specter.
But, Louis, you aren't Harvey Specter, and you could've told him that at any time.
Did you hear what I just said? They brought us chicken pot pie.
Well, now I am bringing you something else.
The name of Reed Communications' in-house counsel, Harold Gunderson.
And he just called me to set up a meeting with Harvey.
He wants to set up a late lunch right away.
But I'm stuffed.
How does he eat so much and stay so thin? - I need a fucking nap.
- Louis, focus! You cannot keep this charade up any longer.
Harold knows that you're not Harvey.
So you better think of something before this whole thing gets more out of control than it already is.
Okay.
I think I know what I'm gonna do.
What? Thinking like Louis got me into this.
Thinking like Harvey is gonna get me out.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Well? - What do you think? - Are you serious? Eric, I told you that was not a great night for me.
I know, but I I thought we could take a bad memory and, you know, turn it into a good one.
You know what? This is a bad idea.
No, wait.
Come on, please, please, don't.
S-Samantha, come on, it's our six-month anniversary, you know? Please, don't don't let whatever car I chose ruin that.
You noticed it was our six-month anniversary.
Of course I did.
It's been one of the best six months of my entire life.
- You're such a bullshitter.
- I am, but not about this.
Want me to get a different car? I'll get a different car.
- You'd really exchange it? - Yeah, I would.
Go upstairs.
I'll be back in an hour.
Hey, see that billboard? Best burgers in 50 miles.
- Every billboard says that.
- Come on.
Nothing like a good burger on a road trip.
It'll take too long.
I want to get there before dark.
What, do you turn into a werewolf? I just want to get there, Harvey.
All right.
Next gas station we'll fill up, and I'll get some M&M'S or something.
That's what you like? M&M'S? No, I like burgers.
So are you gonna let me have one, or are you gonna give me shit about M&M'S? Louis, what are you doing here? Where's Harvey? I've been calling him all day.
Harvey's not coming, Harold I am.
And here's what's gonna happen.
You and I are gonna figure out a way to tank this deal.
What? Why would we do that? Because Harvey doesn't want it anymore.
But he just had lunch with Ted, like, three hours ago when they came up with this whole thing.
Why would he change his mind? I'll tell you why.
Because Harvey wasn't feeling himself today.
So what, I'm supposed to just roll over for a man who doesn't even have the courtesy to come see me himself? God damn it, Harold.
I don't like this either.
He clearly thinks so little of you that you're not worth his time, but thinks so little of me that you are worth my time.
Wait, did that track? Yeah, it does.
Well, if you're so pissed about it, then why'd you come? What are you, an asshole? No one says no to Harvey Specter, least of all you, and don't you dare show your face in our offices today looking for him, or by God, he will have me throw you out.
Louis, what happened to you, man? Are you his partner or his lackey? You know what, Harold? As far as you're concerned, I'm not his partner or his lackey.
I am Harvey Specter.
So you sign this cancellation, you get it back to us by tomorrow, or I will take that gun from your bluff, or I will call your hand, or I will take 146 other guns, and I will fire them at your face.
Nailed that shit.
- Alex, do you have a second? - Of course.
- What can I do for you? - It's about Gavin Andrews.
Donna, as far as I know, Gavin Andrews is in a federal courthouse right now, largely because of me.
I don't think I'm gonna be able to get a hold of him.
Then it's a good thing I don't need Gavin.
I need whoever does his dirty work in the art world.
Am I gonna have to guess what this is about, - or are you gonna tell me? - I need one of these.
And I need it to be perfect.
Donna, if you're asking what I think you're asking, - is this legal? - It is.
Well, it may be legal, but it isn't gonna be easy.
Tell you one thing, it's gonna be a hell of a lot easier than what I'm gonna do with it once I get it.
Oh, and did I mention that I need it done in 24 hours? 24 hours? Good Lord, woman.
Do I look like a wizard to you? A wizard in a very fine suit.
Come on, Alex.
I'll owe you one.
An all-access favor from Donna Paulsen.
- Tough to turn down.
- Excellent.
But I'm gonna go ahead and ask for two.
Nobody gets two.
- Okay, I'll give you two.
- Look at that.
I am a wizard.
I turned one favor into two.
Just get it done, Gandalf.
- You know who Gandalf is? - I know who everybody is.
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE.]
Hello? Harvey, it's Harold Gunderson.
Harold who? Gunderson.
How many Harold's do you know? I didn't think I knew any.
I worked at your firm for three years? Uh-huh.
Let me ask you something.
How'd you get my personal number? Doesn't matter, Harvey.
What matters is you're running scared, and I'm telling you it's time to face up like a man.
I'm sorry.
What did you just say? I know you sent Louis to run interference on me because you think Ted Tucker's overpaying for us.
Back up a second, Harold.
It sounds like you're a little mixed up.
Am I? I know you had lunch with Tucker today.
Louis admitted as much when he came to me and said as far as I'm concerned, he's you.
- He said what? - He said he was you.
But I don't care about him.
I care about you.
And what you're going to do is go back to your office so we can settle this.
Harold, I do things on my schedule.
So I'll be back when I'm back.
And unless you want that to happen six months from now, you're gonna tell me everything that Louis said, and you're not gonna leave out one word.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
You look happy.
They must've had plain and peanut M&M'S.
I just got the strangest call.
What? I think Louis is pretending to be me.
- You're kidding.
- I'm not.
In fact, I don't just think it.
He is 100% running around town pretending to be me.
And how does that make you feel? To tell you the truth, it might be one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- What is it with you two? When I found out Katrina was pretending to be me, I wanted to kill her.
You look like you want to give him an Emmy.
Believe me there have been plenty of times I wanted to kill Louis.
I put him through a table a few years ago.
You did? Why? - I don't want to get into it.
- Oh, come on.
He found out I slept with his sister.
You slept with Louis's sister? She doesn't look anything like him, I swear.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wait, let me get this straight.
Not only did you sleep with his sister, you beat him up because you slept with his sister? It's complicated math, but it adds up trust me.
Well, as I see it, Louis is jealous of you, in love with you, and intimidated by you all at the same time.
Well, there's a headline from 1996.
Well, here's a headline maybe you don't know.
When I first met you, I was intimidated by you.
- You're kidding.
- No.
You're a legend, Harvey.
I'm not.
I thought maybe I was as good as you, but I didn't know.
Well, I'm not gonna admit that you're as good as me, but I'm not gonna say you're not.
So what are you gonna do about Louis? What you do say we have some fun? [CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
Okay, I took care of Harold.
Now, what would Harvey do? What would Harvey do? What would Harvey do? [CELL PHONE BUZZING.]
Oh, God.
Maybe it's a sign.
- Hello? - Is this Harvey Specter? I need to speak to him immediately.
Yeah, this is Harvey.
Is this something for Ted? No, sir.
I work for Harold Gunderson.
I just wanted to let you know he's on his way over.
- Here? - Yes, to your offices.
He's actually getting off the elevator.
[STAMMERS.]
Well, he can't see me in here.
In fact, I'm not here.
I don't know what that means, sir, but he's walking towards your offices as we speak.
Well, I know I said I'm not here, but I can't see him.
I don't know what to tell you, sir.
He's ten feet from you.
Five feet, three feet.
He's right outside your door.
- How can you know that? - Oh, I'm sorry.
He's on the wrong floor.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, thank God.
Nope, wrong again.
Headed straight for you.
God damn it, make up your mind.
[LAUGHTER.]
Should we let him off the hook? - Hello? - Oh, my God, we better.
[LAUGHING.]
I could see Louis jumping out the window.
I thought our windows didn't open.
That won't stop him.
He's got super strength when he's cornered.
- Hello? - Have you ever seen a badger fight a tiger? Has a badger ever fought a tiger? I'll tell you that in a minute.
What are you guys doing making sandwiches? Louis, it's Harvey.
Harold's not coming over there.
- He's not? - He's not.
What the fuck are you doing with his secretary? That wasn't his secretary.
That was Samantha.
She was pretending to be his secretary, just like you've been pretending to be me.
Where would you get that idea? - Louis, come on.
- All right, Harvey.
I'm sorry.
I should not have done it.
I mean, one thing led to another.
Now I don't have a way out.
Louis, whoever it is you just got to come clean.
Okay, Harvey, I will.
That was pretty kind of you I mean, after we almost caused the poor man to have a stroke.
Hey, if you can't do something to cause Louis to have a stroke once in a while, what's the purpose of living? [LAUGHTER.]
Hey, look at that scenic route.
What do you say we take it to the next exit? I'd really rather not, Harvey.
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, one exit.
Katrina Good.
You're here.
I need to know what kind of connections you have in the art world because mine just dried up.
And what makes you think I even have connections in the art world? Because you have clients in fashion and friends in ballet.
Art didn't seem like much of a stretch.
Okay, fine.
I just didn't want to be pigeon-holed.
What do you need? I need a perfect copy of this, and I need it in less than a day.
This isn't going to be easy.
I know, but it's personal.
It's for Donna.
And the fact that she's willing to give me two favors for it means it's important.
- Hold on.
Donna gave you two favors? - She did.
Well, if I help you, I want one of those favors.
I'll give you half of one, and that's my final offer.
You can split a favor in half.
Sure I can.
I'm Gandalf.
- What's a "Dandalf"? - With a G.
You've never heard of Gandalf? Alex, you know I'm not a sports fan.
Now, why don't we stop wasting time and get to figuring out how to make this happen? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Maybe we should stop somewhere.
No, I want to get as far away from him as possible.
But you've been driving for two hours, and we left in the middle of the night.
And I'm going to keep driving until we get to the next state.
[SIGHS.]
[SIREN WAILING.]
Oh, shit.
[GROANS.]
What are we gonna do? Whatever story I say, just follow it.
- I'm scared.
- [CAR DOORS OPEN, CLOSE.]
It'll be okay.
[THUD, AIR HISSES.]
- Oh, damn.
- What the hell was that? I think we hit some kind of hole.
[ENGINE STOPS, CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
[GROANS.]
God damn it.
- How bad is it? - It's not good.
The tire's done.
Oh, shit.
What now? There's no jack.
[SIGHS.]
Son of a bitch! It's all right.
I'll text Triple-A.
They'll be here within an hour.
Okay, but the next time I say I don't want to take the scenic route, we're not taking the fucking scenic route.
Louis, what are you doing here? I'm here to come clean.
Let me guess you're pretending to be Harvey and Ted Tucker doesn't know it? How did you know? After I talked to Harvey, something just didn't seem to add up, so I called Tucker's office, and I asked him to describe Harvey.
And unless he shrunk 5 inches, put on 20 pounds, and his teeth doubled in size, it was you.
What I want to know is, why? [SIGHS.]
Harold If you found a million dollars in a duffle bag, would you do the right thing, or would you take it and run? A chance to be Harvey Specter fell in my lap, and I took it.
But I can't let Tucker find out, which is why I'm asking you to play along for just one meeting.
Why should I? Because you owe me.
I got you out of prison.
You did that for Mike just as much as you did that for me.
Well, then I'll owe you one.
- Not good enough.
- God damn it, Harold.
In the last six months, Robert Zane's name came down, I have a special master installed in my firm, and I lost managing partner.
All I wanted was to get out of my own life and enjoy myself for one day.
Please, Harold.
I need this.
Okay, fine.
I'll go along with it, but you owe me one.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
All right, all right, all right.
I got us some new some new fresh wine, 'cause that old wine I hated that old stuff.
It was it's from the Jerk.
- You're a jerk.
- Yes, I am.
But I'm your jerk, baby.
Mm I want to, uh, talk to you about something.
What? Oh I'm done.
- What? - I want to leave my wife.
What about your children? Because if you think you can leave and it's not gonna mess them up for the rest of their lives, then you don't know anything.
Wait, if you didn't think I was gonna leave, what have we been doing this whole time? I guess I'd have to say we've been making a huge mistake.
What did you think would happen? I didn't think that far.
But you want to break up your family over this? What kind of a man would do that to his own kids? You're just as much a part of this as I am, all right? So, you know, what kind of woman would? I don't know.
Whatever kind it is, I'm not gonna do it anymore.
Oh, Samantha, whoa, whoa.
Come on.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Come on, God damn it.
I planned this entire weekend, all right? I-if you don't to do this, it's fine, all right? That doesn't mean it has to end.
Yes, Eric, it does.
Wait, come on, Samantha.
- Please.
- Don't! Don't touch me! This was always a fling for me, and now it is over.
All right, I see what's going on here.
This is not about me being a bad father to my kids.
This is about me being a bad father to you.
- What did you say? - You've been using me to be the daddy that you never had, but now that I'm not living up to it - Get the hell out.
- Is Robert next? Or has that happened already? If you don't leave in five seconds, somebody's gonna get hurt, and it's not gonna be me.
Yeah, good luck getting a ride home.
I can't believe this.
[SIGHS.]
I never should've agreed to come in this car.
First Kaldor tries to get me to go with him in it, now you.
Wait a second.
What do you mean he tried to get you to go with him? - With him where? - Nothing, never mind.
No, something's up with you two.
Whenever we go up against him, you are hell-bent on winning.
I'm always hell-bent on winning.
You said it yourself.
Well, I also know when someone's not telling me the full story, and It's happening right now.
- We were together, okay? - What do you mean "together"? One-time thing? No, Harvey, not a one-time thing.
And he had a family, and I have a terrible history with men.
Of course you do 'cause of your childhood.
What are you talking about? Deep down, for years, I knew I wanted to be with Donna.
Just couldn't access it.
Why not? Because of the shit that comes from having a fucked-up childhood.
What happened to you? My mom cheated on my dad for most of my life.
I knew it, and I kept it a secret from him.
Jesus, that might be worse than having no parents at all.
- Thanks.
- I didn't mean it that way.
I know.
Shit.
What? Text didn't go through.
Are you shitting me? There's not a good signal here.
I'm just gonna walk up the road.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
- You ready? - I am.
Good.
All you have to do you go in there, you refuse to come to terms, and it'll all be over.
That's not what I'm ready for, Louis.
You see, I realized that a favor from Harvey is definitely better than a favor from you.
- What do you want? - I want an all-purpose IOU from him, good any minute of any day.
I can't promise you he'll do that.
Well, then you better get him on the phone, because in two minutes, I tell Tucker the truth.
- Then do it.
- What? You heard me.
This is enough.
I did what I did, and I am not ashamed.
So you go in there and you tell him, or you don't, but I'm not gonna be bullied by the likes of you, Harold.
Okay, fine, I'll go along with it, but under one condition.
- I want to come home.
- What do you mean "home"? - I don't even know where you're from.
- Yes, you do.
I'm from here.
I want to come back.
Is this a trick? You gonna change your mind again? No, Louis, I won't, because I've never been happier than when I was here.
I'll think about it, Harold.
But what I got to do right now is go in there and end this thing once and for all.
[CELL PHONE BUZZING.]
Hey.
Hey, how's it going? How's the trip? Well, at the moment, Samantha's about 50 yards down the road.
We're stopped with a flat tire, and we're waiting for Triple-A to come.
- You're kidding me.
- I'm not.
And on top of that, she thinks it's my fault.
- Is it? - Yes, but you know I don't like being held accountable for my actions.
I'm sorry it's not going great, Harvey.
The truth is, it hasn't been easy, but it's been good.
Good.
I miss you.
I miss you, too.
Well, what'd they say? Holy shit, I forgot to call.
Are you fucking kidding me? I was about to call, but then Donna called me, and I was telling her what a good time we were having.
Damn it, Harvey.
This isn't a good time.
This is a mission, and I don't want to stop for burgers, and I don't want to take the scenic route.
And now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere because you made us do all of that.
And instead of getting us out of here so I can be there tonight, you're doing fucking nothing! Samantha [SIGHS.]
I'm afraid, Harvey.
I'm afraid to see him, and now I now I just want to go home.
Of course you're afraid.
You don't know what he'll be like.
No.
I'm afraid because I know what he did.
He gave me up.
And the childhood I had I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
- [SIGHS.]
- Samantha you said that you'd be better off with no parent than one like my mom, but you're wrong, because I forgave her and I'm better for it and so is she.
- And you owe it - I don't owe him anything.
I was gonna say you owe it to yourself.
This isn't about him.
This is about you.
I used to tell myself that he had to give me up, that if he could, he would've kept me.
That he wanted to, he just couldn't.
What if that wasn't true then and it isn't true now? Then you'll know.
But right now we're gonna call Triple-A together, and we're gonna drive as long as it takes to get there because I'm not letting you down.
You ready? I'm ready.
I'll be right here.
[SIGHS.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[POIGNANT MUSIC.]
[KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- Jeff Gardner? - Yeah? My name is Samantha Wheeler.
I'm your daughter.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO.]
Samantha, my name is Judy O'Brien.
Please have a seat.
Let me guess.
You're here to reassign us.
I don't work for Protective Services.
I'm a foster parent, and I promise if you come stay with me, you'll be glad you did.
Why would you want a kid like me who just stole a car and kidnapped another kid? Because there's always a reason.
Tell me why you ran away.
No.
This is a trap.
I'm not falling for it.
Listen to me.
I've seen kids like you.
Half of them make it.
Half of them don't.
But the ones that don't didn't trust anyone.
This is your chance, Samantha.
Please take it.
So how'd it go? He never even knew I existed.
- How is that possible? - It was a fling.
He and my mother knew each other for all of a few months.
She left the state and never even told him she was pregnant.
How did he react to the news that he had a daughter? He said he doesn't know what he would've done at the time, but he wishes he would've known.
And your mom? Evidently she was strong-willed, didn't take shit from anybody and for better or worse, she did things her own way.
Sure doesn't sound like anybody I know.
I guess that means he doesn't know where she is now.
She passed away when I was two.
That was the last he heard of her.
They must've taken me when she died.
Which means nobody gave you up at all.
No, they didn't, but I still have all this anger inside of me and nowhere to put it.
Maybe you don't have to put it anywhere.
Maybe you can just let it go.
Would you have been able to do that? I don't know.
In my situation I didn't think I could until I did.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC.]
Excuse me.
I have a delivery for one Donna Paulsen.
Thank you, Alex.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to go do my thing.
Before you do, do you mind if I ask why you're doing this? Among other things, Harvey's been out of town, and it just made me appreciate how much I love it when he's here.
You wanted to get him something.
Exactly.
And believe me, this is what you give the man who has everything.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Louis, I was just looking for you.
Is there a reason we're offering Harold Gunderson a job again? Yes, there is.
It's complicated, and I don't feel like going into it right now.
Does it have something to do with the fact that you had to hire him because you've been pretending to be Harvey? - How did you know? - I have my sources.
Well, it does have to do with that, and it doesn't.
What does that mean? It means I didn't hire him to get out of it, but I did get out of it.
You mind if I ask how? By doing what I should've done in the first place.
I told Tucker that I am not Harvey Specter, I am Louis Litt, and I got him a better deal than Harvey ever could have, because Harvey may be the best closer in the city but I'm the best everything else.
- What did he say to that? - He said he'd sign.
That's pretty good.
I just had to realize that it's great being Harvey, but I'd rather be me.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
- You're home.
- I am.
Good.
- I got you a present.
- Wait a second.
Aren't I the one that's supposed to bring you something? - Did you? - No.
Carry on.
[LAUGHS.]
It's okay.
What I got us is as much for me as it is for you because I get to see the look on your face.
I don't understand.
How? Let's just say Alex found a forger.
The forger is perfect.
I mean, this is perfect.
You're perfect.
I'm better than perfect because I didn't give you the forgery, Harvey.
It's hanging in Elliott Stemple's office as we speak.
- You're kidding.
- Nope.
I "Thomas Crown Affair"-ed that shit.
- [GASPS.]
- Or did I? Seriously, Donna, is this it? Yes.
Or is it? - Stop it.
- [LAUGHS.]
I love you, Harvey.
You're the real thing.
And so is this.
What's going on? Nothing.
I just need to call.
I know who you need to call.
I'll be in the bedroom.
[LINE TRILLING.]
- [LINE CLICKS.]
- Hello? Mom, it's me.
What's going on? It's late.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I was just thinking about you.
Do you remember the time we won the Little League championship? Of course I do.
You pitched five innings, played shortstop, and hit two doubles.
A mother remembers these things.
Then I'm sure you'll remember I walked off the field, and it was supposed to be you and Dad, and He wasn't there.
I was so mad at you for telling me he'd be there.
You didn't say a thing except to defend him.
You know, it never occurred to me that it was actually his fault.
He wasn't perfect, Harvey, and neither was I.
But I never held a grudge against him.
I'm sorry it took me so long to forgive you.
I let it cover up any good memories, and then I wouldn't let us make any new ones.
It's okay.
You're my son, Harvey.
I never stopped loving you.
I love you, Mom.
I love you, too, Harvey.
You still there? Want to keep talking? What do you say we just sit together for a while? That'd be nice.