Grey's Anatomy s09e11 Episode Script

It's a big day.
Yeah.
I'm excited about it.
Really? You finally gonna tell Cristina that you're pregnant? What are you talking about? Today is the last day of your first trimester.
I'm talking about the plane crash.
The judge could have a decision today about whether the hospital is at fault or not.
Well, that's not gonna happen.
The lawyers moved for summary judgment.
Well, that is a formality.
Then it's gonna go to trial.
It's gonna take months for a decision.
Maybe not.
Meredith, your first trimester is over.
Let's focus on that.
Try and relax a little bit.
Enjoy it.
Tell your twisted sister.
She'll be happy for you.
The big day is here the day you're gonna hear the news, the test result.
Is the biopsy malignant or benign? Am I gonna live or die? You just want to know.
Breakfast for two? - Oh! Oh! - Even if the news is scary.
Ah, god.
Oh, my god.
Uh What are you doing? I'm sorry.
I thought you were Cristina, and you're not.
- Definitely not.
- No.
Because then you can move on, whatever that means.
You didn't? Yeah.
I did.
It's it's not funny.
Oh, I know.
I know.
God.
It's not.
It's hilarious.
It was humiliating.
If you wear pants, it doesn't happen as much.
I just got up.
I was looking for a glass for water 'cause I'm hung over.
And why are there no glasses or or mugs or anything? You're pretty loud for a hung-over girl.
The chief of surgery just felt me up.
And I had to sleep on your living room floor because you have no furniture, and now I have a neck ache.
Being your friend is basically ruining my life.
I've heard that before.
You're a douche.
Get a couch, or I'm never drinking with you again.
Look, if you're thirsty, all you gotta do is stick your face under the faucet.
Oh, okay.
I'm going to the hospital where there's food and paper cups.
Sir.
From my mom.
Cookies.
Oh, you know, that's not necess Oh, and there's a message That I am supposed to read to you, make sure you get it.
"Richard, I am in town doing a case at Seattle Pres.
" "Left you several messages and wasn't sure you got them.
" "I just want to make sure you're okay.
" "I'm worried about you," "baby.
" Uh, to be clear, that was her and not me.
Well, please tell her I'm fine.
Oh, no, you gotta take the cookies, sir.
That's such a nice gesture, but I'm trying to avoid sweets.
Uh, would you like them? Um, I can put them in the lounge, and everybody can enjoy them.
Oh, that's a fine idea.
Morning.
Hey, I heard there might be a judgment today.
I hope it works out for you.
No, you don't.
A judgment comes down that quickly, it means the hospital's negligent.
It means you did something wrong.
Which you did.
Well, you've obviously been thinking that for a while.
I'm glad you finally got it out in the open.
And for the record, I really do hope it works out for you.
I heard your girlfriend did a little panty dance in the kitchen this morning.
She's not my girlfriend.
Look, I know it's weird.
She's hot and she's always around, but I don't even think of her like that.
It'd be like you and I sleeping together.
Ew.
I'm trying to eat my breakfast.
Did you hear your husband accidentally copped a feel? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Oh, and he's not my husband.
That's why he's sneaking in at the crack of crack.
You are a messed up broad.
Dr.
Webber rejected my mother's cookies.
That sounds dirty.
She's worried about him.
She wants me to assess his mood.
She thinks he's depressed.
Well, his wife died a month ago.
Isn't he supposed to be depressed? Of course, but, like, normal depressed or too depressed? I mean, he's fine.
He's back at work.
Nah, but he's not operating.
Maybe you should hold him.
And I'm done.
Enjoy the cookies.
Thanks.
Mm.
So what do you mean, he touched your boobs? Like "Wah-wah"? He's not a 13-year-old girl.
He's the chief of surgery.
Well, I'm sorry that I don't know how the chief of surgery touches boobs But was it, like, a glancing thing, like-like side boob? - Heather.
- Show me what happened.
- No.
- Was it look.
Was it like this? No, it was like a move up the front.
Yes.
Ahem.
Murphy, let's go.
We got a facial reconstruction.
I gotta go, too.
I'm working with Dr.
Shepherd.
I think he's back for real today Operating.
I think we're all happy about that.
I've got post-ops with Yang.
I'm on Grey.
With Grey.
"On Grey" sounds Dr.
Avery, I'm just on scut.
If you don't mind, can I tag along? I don't know.
Um sure, I guess.
Come on.
Quick question about the case.
That was good.
You like that, throwing Murphy on my service? And made me beg to tag along.
Now you understand that it's in both of our interests to keep this thing quiet, right? Relax.
Do you really think I want anyone to think I'm getting surgeries because I'm sleeping with my boss? I want to get them because of my awesomeness.
Well, that's true, because you are extremely awesome.
Mm.
- And that is how - Oh, what were you saying? - They invented the shunt.
- That is fascinating.
Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So I think our big mistake last time was, - we tried to get you back too fast.
- Mm.
- So this time, baby steps.
- Torres Who's the patient? I'm the patient.
That's right.
Now this is the same muscle movement you use with Leskell Rongeur.
Basically, the same motion as hitting a ping-pong ball.
So that is what you're gonna do today.
For how long? Uh, how long did your last meningioma removal take? - It was eight hours, I think.
- Well We're gonna play ping-pong for eight hours? Huh.
Not me.
I've got surgery.
Well, then who? Morning.
We back in the saddle? What? You're gonna love this one.
What, M.
V.
C.
, G.
S.
W.
? Better.
Stripper pole.
Vitals stable in the field.
Has abdominal tenderness from a crush injury.
- She slipped.
Make sure she's all right.
- Off a pole? I-it was our anniversary.
They installed it right in the bedroom.
I wanted it to be a surprise.
It was.
I thought I was getting an iPad.
Mmm.
Hey.
Where'd you get the cookies? Webber didn't want the pity cookies from his girlfriend about his dead wife.
He's not operating, so Jackson's "Mommy" was worried.
Whatever.
These cookies are awesome.
What about Jackson? Are you still pining over Jackson? No.
God.
No.
Why? Is he seeing someone? April, April Jackson is like a cookie.
People want to lose weight, they don't eat the cookie.
But then they get so hung up on not having the cookie that their whole life is about the cookie.
My whole life is not about the cookie.
Mm-hmm.
Is your whole life about the cookie? What do you mean? You and Owen, are you guys a thing again or I don't know.
All I know is, having sex with a man who used to be your husband is way more fun than when he is your husband.
That's all you know? That is all I know.
Unless there's something else you want to tell me? No.
Nothing I can think of.
Okay, then.
Okay.
Oh.
Hey, Cristina.
Ahh.
Whoa.
Nice shot, Dr.
Shepherd.
You put a little something on that backhand? Hey, Derek.
Answer your phone.
We're in the middle of a game.
Well, you know what? Not anymore.
The lawyer called, and they need us at the courthouse.
Now.
Did I miss it? Damn it.
I'm sorry.
I got out of the O.
R.
as fast as I could, but I didn't think it was gonna happen today.
Oh, god.
Was it bad? It wasn't? We won.
He said the airline company had a history of mechanical problems with the plane.
It was in public record, and the hospital should've known.
He found the hospital negligent.
So we won.
When's he gonna tell us about the award? I mean I hate to be all about the money He already did.
He's giving us $15 million.
Whoa.
Each.
So what happens now, the hospital hands us a check for $15 million? Oh, well, their insurance company does, and it'll probably take some time to get through all the bureaucratic rigmarole, but, yeah.
Pending appeal, the insurance company will issue each of you a big check.
In the meantime, I have a ping-pong ball to hit.
Yeah, I gotta get back, too.
I have James Leggett's surgery.
Oh, how is James? Well, that's right.
You and-and Mark did his original cranial expansion.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Why is everyone rushing off? This is a momentous event.
Shouldn't we do something, like celebrate or Okay, maybe "Celebrate's" too strong a word.
Dinner.
We should have a dinner.
Come on.
We've been sitting in rooms with each other for months talking about this, and we just won.
What's wrong with sitting in one more room with-with food in front of us? I'm gonna do a quick exam.
I don't know what happened.
I was doing a sexy flexy, next thing I know, I was on the floor.
A sexy flexy? It's a move.
I could do it perfectly in class.
Uh, uh, you have a bruise near your tailbone.
You must have landed on a hard surface.
I landed on my husband.
And there was nothing hard about him.
Leonard Olsen, 67, came in via E.
M.
S.
His wife was on a stripper pole and fell on him while trying to execute a move called a sexy flexy.
His physical exam indicates possible internal injuries.
So why don't you get Mr.
Olsen's past medical history while I order a scan? See that? Your face? Now imagine how I felt.
We could buy a house.
We have a house.
We could buy another house.
We could buy five houses.
We could buy five houses with yards as big as football fields.
We could buy the team to play on the football field.
Who would play against them? Well, we'd buy another team.
Mm.
I just wanted a house.
Mo' money, mo' problems.
Mm.
I should've been on that damn plane.
James was born with Crouzon syndrome, a genetic disorder characterized by the premature fusion of certain skull bones, resulting in - A weird-looking face.
- James.
Fine.
A tall narrow head, wide-set eyes, and a small midface.
Now over the years, Dr.
Sloan has operated on James five separate times to Try and make me less weird looking.
James.
What? Even Sloan said I was weird looking, and you worshipped him.
My mom thought Sloan walked on water.
No pressure.
Dr.
Sloan was great with him.
I really can't believe he's gone.
I know, and I know that this isn't easy, trusting the new guy.
You were Sloan's guy.
That's all we need to know.
The only person who liked Sloan more than my mom was my dad.
Again No pressure.
I got it.
Okay.
I know that Dr.
Sloan's plan called for this final operation to consist of simply moving the upper jaw forward.
I am recommending a monobloc advancement, which means, Dr.
Edwards? Cutting into your skull and moving the whole midface forward in one block.
Excellent job, Dr.
Edwards.
Thank you, Dr.
Avery.
Uh if this is a better procedure, why didn't Sloan suggest it? For one thing, Dr.
Sloan did not anticipate that James' forehead would still be this disproportionately underdeveloped.
Hey, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
What's up? Dr.
Avery was just explaining the new plan.
Mark had a plan.
And I have a different plan, which gives James a more normal appearance.
But Mark knew James for 16 years.
You've known him for, like, uh, 16 minutes.
You know what? If Mark was here, then I would be glad to have this argument with him.
He was a plastic surgeon.
This not your area of expertise.
So if you want me to walk you through my thought process, I guess I can do that as a courtesy.
What I'm not gonna do is stand here and argue with you about this procedure.
This is what I'm doing.
You'll walk me through your thought process as a courtesy? Are you kidding me? - I'll wait.
- All right.
I'm just not ready for Callie's dinner tonight.
It's too weird.
I know.
How long do you think till these parasites are hitting us up for a lung? - Dr.
Grey.
- That was fast.
- Glad you're back.
- I have a patient.
She's a 19-year-old college kid, nauseated with a distended stomach.
And she says there's no way that she's pregnant.
Oh, everybody always says that, and then they always end up pregnant.
Okay, but if the pregnancy test is negative? Okay, I will come with you.
But I am not taking point, you are.
Yeah, you know, that really is a problem, people claiming not to be pregnant when they really are.
You know? Of course I know.
Her boobs got huge about two weeks ago, and she's eating everything in sight.
But she didn't tell you? No, but she knows I know.
So you know she knows that you know? Mm-hmm.
She'll tell me when she's ready to be happy about it.
Congratulations.
Mm-hmm.
Taylor? You're not pregnant.
Of course she's not pregnant.
Taylor knows better than to bring boys home.
She knows she needs to focus on her studies.
Get your hair out of your mouth.
Taylor, do you mind if I take a look at your stomach? Of course you can take a look.
You're the doctor.
Does that hurt? Have you been constipated? I don't know.
Speak up.
No one can hear you when you're mumbling.
Yes.
Yes, what? Yes, you're constipated? The doctors aren't mind readers.
Okay, she's not constipated.
Okay.
She's just throwing up.
Mrs.
Lanz, do you mind if we step outside while the doctor examines Taylor? Taylor doesn't mind if I stay.
Do you? Oh, it'll just take a second.
Wow.
That was awesome.
So you need to talk to the patient, not the mother.
If the mother interrupts you, you stop her.
So let's start again.
Robbins is concerned.
Yeah, well, she shouldn't be.
I've thought this through.
I've got a solid plan.
So did Sloan.
I did James' first surgery with Mark when we still lived in New York.
Yeah, I know.
I've read through Sloan's notes.
How old is James now? He's 16.
When you're 16, you're worried about your S.
A.
T.
score, - your future.
- Yeah, well, so am I.
This is gonna improve his appearance by 5% to 10%.
But at what cost? It's riskier.
It's complicated recovery time.
I would stick with Sloan's plan.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
I got a message about a consult.
Oh, yeah.
Chest X-ray came back.
Turned out to be heartburn.
Oh, god.
There's Why is she coming over here? She's on my service.
Relax.
Dr.
Yang, I did orthostatics on 21-14.
Hey, you know, uh, you know, your hair and hers Oh.
You know, from behind kind of Yeah, no.
Totally honest mistake.
Yeah.
Okay, these results are weird.
Schedule a tilt table test.
Mm.
Ohh.
I said "Relax," not make it worse.
Grabby.
Just grabby.
What? Are you trying to see if it's really me or some intern? I'm relieved.
I heard about the judgment.
Yeah? It hasn't really sunk in yet.
Hey, will you come to this thing with me tonight? Uh, depends.
What's the thing? Oh, it's dumb.
Callie wants to have a survivors dinner.
It sounds morbid to me, actually.
But if you come, it could be fun.
I mean, I could get drunk and dance on a table.
Promise.
That's I Shepherd doesn't want me there.
Why? He blames me.
And-and I get it.
I'm the bad guy.
And I don't know if I want to be forgiven.
Don't play martyr.
I'm not.
I'm this is I am partially responsible.
So if Shepherd doesn't want me around Okay, you know what I think? I think Derek Shepherd Mm.
Mm.
Let's just leave the case and the crash in the past outside, and just be here right now.
Just you and me.
Okay.
So now what? Now you take your shirt off.
Okay.
You can take off your pants.
Faster! Bailey said I would find you here.
What is this place? Well, it's my hall of horrors.
At least that's what Adele used to call it.
Malignant teratoma resected from a liver in 1985.
This thing is 27 years old? It was the first in my collection.
I'm cataloging it, and then medical waste is gonna come and take it all away.
I remember this guy.
This is the guy who swallowed all the pennies.
This was my intern year.
That's Ron Newsome.
He swallowed these scissors a year later.
And why do you want to get rid of all this stuff? What do you want, Grey? I came to ask you if you would like to scrub in on a surgery.
A very cool case, a 19-year-old girl with an unknown mass in her abdomen.
I'm busy.
Richard, I'm worried.
No need to worry.
I've heard you haven't been operating.
I'm fine.
I don't need your help.
I need to be left alone.
So please let me do what I'm doing.
Okay.
You called Shepherd on me? He's not on James' case anymore.
He's a trusted colleague and a respected surgeon, - and I - And I'm a plastic surgeon.
Hey, uh, quick question about the sitter for tonight.
Uh, yeah.
Hold on for one second.
Well I don't know about the dinner.
It just it feels weird.
We're doing the dinner, okay? Um, curly hair can't sit.
So I was gonna so I was gonna call art student, 'cause she's fun and Sofia loves her, but unibrow cleans.
What do you think? I think that you should learn their names, and you should call Claudia because Kelli has only sat for us once, and I don't want Sofia with someone new.
- Great.
Um, Claudia is - Okay - Unibrow.
- Right.
Yeah.
This is why I went to Derek, okay? Mark knew James.
He was with him from the beginning.
And you're just the new babysitter who doesn't know where we keep the extra wipes at.
I waited around here for you to insult me again? I'm sorry.
It's been a weird morning.
And but Mark was so invested and so I was coming to tell you that I changed my mind.
I'm now doing the procedure Sloan's way.
Oh, great.
Thanks.
Sorry.
Your husband's scans show that a rib punctured his diaphragm when you landed on him.
We're gonna need to operate, but I'm confident we can fix the problem.
Oh, thank god.
I feel so terrible.
Here you go, Sheila.
This will make your ride to radiology more comfortable.
Now about that X-ray Is it okay if I have metal on my cookie? I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
You bedazzled your vagina? It's called vajazzling.
All the stars are doing it.
Oh, it's a butterfly.
Look.
That's-that's the body and those those are the wings.
That's game.
You win again, Dr.
Shepherd.
Wait.
Just stop.
Great.
This was fun.
I think you're letting me win.
You're a smart man.
- I am.
- So am I.
That's why I'm absolutely letting you win.
Whupping your ass wouldn't be a smart move, especially since you're a competitive guy who likes to win.
Do you know who else is a competitive guy, Ross? A neurosurgeon.
I thought you had what it takes to be one.
Mm.
See? I am a smart man, and you are now goading me.
But you won't like it when you lose.
Oh, "when" I lose? You'll be angry and never want to see my face.
That won't help me on my quest to become you.
Yeah, I've told you, it's creepy when you say that.
Sorry.
It is what it is.
I need a real test, Ross, okay? Dr.
Ramsey has a chiari decompression tomorrow, and I'm sure she needs someone to help assist.
If you beat me in this game, I will put in a - 1-love.
- Mm-hmm.
Is that for me? Thanks.
Catherine, what are you doing here? I'm taking you to lunch.
We have reservations at The Firefly.
I don't have surgery until later on, and I couldn't just sit in my hotel knowing that you're 5 miles away and I haven't laid eyes on you.
Well, I've I've been busy.
I haven't had time to check Richard, Jackson told me you're not operating.
I'm worried about you.
You look thin.
Are you eating? Are you sleeping? Look, you're not my wife.
So you don't get to My wife died.
While I was carrying on with another woman, my wife died, Catherine.
So what I'm eating and how I'm sleeping is not your concern.
I haven't returned your calls because I don't want to go to lunch.
I don't want cookies.
I don't want you here.
If you'll excuse me now, Grey and I have a surgery.
So what's the plan for the house? I'm sick of sitting on the floor.
Nice! Shepherd scores.
Ah, waiting out Yang.
She's gonna break down and furnish the whole house.
What? It's genius.
Yes! You got it Shepherd.
Wilson, your friend's choking.
You want to make this interesting? You don't have 100 bucks.
I won't eat for a month.
Hey.
Who's, uh, who's winning? He's got Shane on the ropes.
Please.
Shepherd's meat.
Watch Shane's dead ball.
That's my wrist in there.
Wilson, it's not too late to back down.
I'm a gentleman.
I'll let you walk away.
- Ah, damn it! - Ah! Ouch.
Okay, how about we take a break? Let me take a look at that wrist.
The wrist isn't the problem.
It's his feet.
They're not as fast as mine 'cause he's an old man.
Sorry, Dr.
Shepherd.
I don't know where that came from.
I occasionally get carried away while engaging in athletic Okay.
9-8.
Uh let's go, bitch.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, boys, I trust that you remember, this is not Wimbledon, but a hospital conference room table where you are working on strengthening your muscles So that one day soon you can operate again.
Also, respond to my e-mail about the dinner tonight and let everyone know you're very excited about it.
What if I'm not? Come on, Derek.
If you go, everyone will.
Play is continuous.
What dinner? They won the crash case.
$15 mil each.
Hey, Dr.
Yang, congratulations on winning the case.
Are you gonna spend some of that money on furniture for the house? Why? It's not my house.
Yeah.
You're a genius.
Mm.
My turn.
You need to forgive Owen.
- For what? - You're holding a grudge.
You make it sound like he stole my lunch from the refrigerator.
Derek, we won.
We get to move on.
And we have to let Owen do the same.
He put us on that plane.
You know what? You were chief once.
You make a bunch of decisions based on what you know at the time.
Forgive him.
It's not that easy.
I know.
Forgive him anyway.
Let's go.
Wilson, you're working not playing ping-pong.
You are gonna do great.
I'll come back tomorrow after volleyball practice.
Hey.
I know.
My girlfriend's hot.
You're wondering how I do it.
No.
No.
Yeah.
Sloan telling me I was weird looking.
He wasn't being a jerk.
It was just that surgery was only gonna take me so far.
I was never gonna look completely normal, so I was gonna have to develop some moves to get the women.
So he gave you a couple of tips.
Getting women was kind of his specialty.
Nah.
Sloan said his moves would never work for me.
I had to come up with my own.
So I blind them with my amazing personality.
They don't even notice the weird-looking face.
Well, it looks like it's working.
I do all right.
Although not being weird looking would be cool, too.
Again, no pressure.
Let's see what we can do about that.
Whatever happened to just regular old sex, without poles or vaginas dressed up in rhinestone? When did just plain old "get naked" become boring? Antibiotic lavage.
And I suppose men do it, too, bedazzle their penis? I'm really trying not to think about it.
Somebody look that up.
On it.
Just foolish.
Idiotic.
Kepner, you ever vajazzled yourself? Oh, right.
Jesus isn't a fan of the vajazzle.
Boki? Feel good being back in the O.
R.
? Grey let's focus on the patient.
Opening the stomach.
Babcock clamp.
Here you go.
Lap pads.
Whoa.
Look at that thing.
Well, would you look at that.
A bezoar.
It's a giant hairball.
Like from eating your hair? Like from eating your hair.
I used to eat dirt.
I haven't in years.
Mm.
You got here just in time to lose.
Final point, advantage Ross.
Ah, Shepherd's got this.
Double or nothing.
What's the matter, you scared? Fine.
You're on.
1,000 bucks.
- Whoo! Shane! - Come on, Shepherd! - Whoo! - You got it! Ah, yes! Damn it.
Yes! Oh, yeah.
Yes.
One more game.
No way.
I won it.
I get to assist on Ramsey's surgery.
Get on that phone right now and you call her, or I swear to god, I'll Sir, again, I don't know what came over me.
What I meant to say is, I'd appreciate the opportunity.
Yeah.
Fine.
One more game.
This time, I play with my dominate hand.
Oh, yeah.
It feels so good.
$1,000.
I'll get it to you later.
I gotta go to the cash machine.
Oh, I'm headed that way myself.
I'll come with you.
Uh-huh.
It's too cool to let it go to medical waste.
How are you gonna throw all this stuff away? You know what I see when I look at the scissors Ron Newsome swallowed? I see the thanksgiving that I didn't take off so I didn't join Adele in London.
The teratoma kept me from our anniversary party.
Black tie.
She planned the whole thing.
I got there in time for dessert.
All this stuff that I saved, that I'm so proud of just reminds me of my failures.
So you must be happy about the judgment? What are you gonna do with all that money? Oh, it's blood money.
My sister's dead.
It's Meredith, it's a good thing.
Haven't you suffered enough? Haven't you? Well, it's just a bruised tailbone.
You can go home now.
And your husband shouldn't be too far behind, just maybe a couple of days.
Thank you.
No driving for him, though, for at least a month.
And that goes for sexual activity, too.
Uh, and so stay off the pole.
You just got back from your honeymoon.
You come talk to me after and raising three kids.
You get tired.
You just want to sit in front of the TV and-and say it's done, it's over.
But you know what? I'm not doing that.
I'm trying.
At least I'm trying.
She's sorry.
She didn't mean to judge.
And the worst part is, he looked embarrassed for me.
I mean, that hurts.
That hurts more than a bruised tailbone.
I mean, I survived 45 years of marriage.
Is it so wrong for me to want to celebrate my anniversary with a little sex? Well, is it? - No, it's not.
- No, no.
- It's not.
- It's a good idea.
- It's not.
- I said no.
So I'm gonna teach you two how to prefor a monobloc.
Wait.
What? No, no, no.
You told me that you were reverting to Mark's Yes, but I'm just not comfortable with that.
Well, you can't just change your plan in surgery.
I didn't.
I spoke with Dana and Phil and Dr.
Jovan, the plastics attending who's overseeing me.
Dr.
Avery, Mark had a very good reason for wanting to do a simple jaw Of course he did.
But Mark is not here anymore.
So I need to do what I think is best for my patient.
So I'm going to begin by shaving a short strip along the coronal incision instead of cutting off all of his hair.
Hey.
Maybe he can't get it up anymore.
Maybe that's why he looked embarrassed.
Or maybe, like the woman said, he was just embarrassed for her.
Oh, come on.
They're sweet.
You just got back from your honeymoon.
I'd think you of all people would appreciate an older couple with a healthy sex life.
No, I do appreciate a healthy sex life.
It's just Okay, look, I had sex once on my honeymoon one time, the very first night.
We arrived in the Bahamas, and my husband wanted to have sex not in our well-appointed suite, but on the beach.
So off to the beach we went, where we had sex, and I got sand up in my cookie.
Yes, a vagina full of sand that gave me a bad, bad infection, requiring a trip to the local doctor, who confirmed the infection and also diagnosed a few sand flea bites on my buttock.
Yeah, his word.
Buttock.
He also went on to say that my buttock would become very itchy, and he was right.
So a painful infection and an itchy buttock are what I had on my honeymoon.
So, no, no, I am not a fan of the beach or the pole or anywhere at this point.
I am a fan of a bed.
Oh, that's right.
Go on, friend.
Laugh.
How's everyone's dinner? Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Yeah.
It's good.
Good.
How'd the surgery with James go? Uh Jackson didn't listen.
He went ahead with the monobloc readvancement.
Really? How long did that take? Five hours.
Yeah.
I stood there, you know, just to make sure he didn't mess it up.
Ma'am? Uh, perfect.
Okay, very good.
I'd like to make a toast.
Oh, Callie, no toasts.
You know what? Let's just get this dinner over with Arizona stood for five hours.
That's not the point.
Yeah, I know.
Do you realize how big a deal it is you standing for five hours isn't the point? Do you know what else happened today? Derek played ping-pong.
- And lost.
- And wanted to keep on playing 'cause his wrist wasn't sore.
What are you doing? Oh, sorry.
I'm just, uh, quick texting Owen.
Sexting.
No, she's-she's trying is what she's doing.
Yeah.
You just divorced the guy, and here you are texting him.
Mer's right.
I'm sexting.
Oh, well, even better.
Mark would've loved that.
Sex was the thing he loved more than anything else.
And we're all having it, so that's - Well, um - Well, we're trying.
Yeah, okay.
We're Don't you see that? We're all trying.
We're trying to move on, which is progress.
And it feels weird and sad and wrong, but it also feels exciting.
I miss Mark and Lexie.
And I'm heartbroken that they're not here tonight.
I'm heartbroken, but I'm also grateful that all of you are.
And I'm gonna celebrate that.
And we are gonna toast.
Come on.
Toast.
Pick up your glasses and toast.
Oh, no, thank you.
Yes, she's having champagne.
Grey, we're all having champagne.
No, I can't.
Just try.
Try.
Come on.
Just try.
Is it too much to ask you to try? I can't because I'm pregnant.
What? Aww.
Wh-wh-what? And I'm happy, so let's celebrate.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my goodness.
Well, congratulations.
Congratulations.
Well, cheers.
Cheers.
I should've been there, Catherine.
I know.
I failed her.
When she needed me the most, I failed her.
Richard No, I I feel like I can't grieve.
Like I lost the right to grieve when I started seeing you.
But you are grieving, baby.
And you shouldn't have to do it alone.
I would like to just hold your hand.
Could you let me do that? Could I just hold your hand? Well, the good news is, the surgery went great.
The bad news is, you're just gonna be another pretty face from now on.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, well, Dr.
Sloan did most of it.
I just took us into the end zone.
Yeah.
You know Jackson told me he thinks James may not even need another major surgery? Really? Jackson told you that? Did Jackson have his hands on your boobs when he said it? What are you talking about? You made fun of me for sleeping with Karev.
Called me a skank, made this "I don't wanna be like Leah" thing, and now you're sleeping with the boss.
How'd you know? Oh, well, I didn't.
Now I do.
Everything looks good.
So you're gonna have to learn how to stand up for yourself.
I know it's not gonna be easy, but your mom makes me want to eat my hair.
I just found out it was hair.
I don't understand.
It's a condition called trichotillomania.
And it makes you want to pull out your hair and, in some cases, eat it.
So we're gonna set her up with a therapist who's gonna help her to No.
Here's what's gonna happen she's just gonna stop, like I did when I stopped eating carbs.
You just decide and that's it.
This is not like you not eating carbs.
It's a medical condition, and you're gonna take me to see a therapist.
Hey.
Hi.
I am kind of sleeping with Stephanie.
I was hoping that you wouldn't have to find out about it at all.
But of course, it's probably gonna get out.
So I just wanted to make sure that you didn't have to hear about it from anyone else.
Okay.
Okay? I miss you.
I just I feel like we were friends, and now everything is just so So we can still be friends.
You know what I'm thinking about right now? Kissing you.
Standing here looking at you, and all I want to do is kiss you.
So, no, I-I-I'm I'm not ready to be your friend yet.
You sure? Yes.
Yes, I'm sure.
Thank you for telling me.
Okay.
I just checked in on your wife.
Medically, she's fine.
Otherwise your wife is horny, Leonard.
All there is to it.
She wants some sex.
- She needs it.
- Oh.
Is the equipment working, sir? Yes.
Good, good.
Then use it.
You're married.
If I were married, I would be doing it all day long.
Just just do it.
Slowly.
Slowly.
I got you a couch with the money I won.
This is such a girlfriend thing.
Okay, I think what you want to say is, "Thank you for the awesome couch.
" Okay.
But we're not doing it, if that's what you're thinking.
Why would we do it? That's disgusting.
You're like my brother.
We drink beer and hang out.
Okay.
I mean I've never really had a friend who was a girl who didn't want to do it so it's weird.
Except Mer, and she probably wanted me at some point.
Wow.
You really are a douche.
Just shut up and drink.
Hunt, come over here.
I-I can't.
I it's not your fault.
I know that.
We're moving forward.
Just please come over here and have a drink.
Shepherd, I Cristina.
Tell your husband to come over here and have a drink.
No, no.
He's not my husband.
I mean, I don't know what you are.
I mean, I don't know what we are, but you know, it doesn't matter.
All that matters now is that I'm drunk and happy and I want you to be here drunk and happy with me.
Plus the bathrooms lock, so Whatever you're doing, just let somebody else do it and come on over and have a drink.
They say ignorance is bliss.
Another time.
Enjoy your party.
Because once you know about the tumor or the prognosis, you can't go back.
So where are we at? The insurance company found a loophole.
Apparently there's a rule that no more than two attendings are allowed on a medi plane.
So when Dr.
Robbins took Dr.
Karev's place on the flight Anyway, they say they aren't gonna pay.
Okay, so who pays? We do.
The hospital.
We don't have that kind of reserve.
No, we don't.
So? We go bankrupt.
The hospital closes its doors.
Will you be strong or will you fall apart? It's hard to predict.
- So don't worry about it.
- Wait.
Enjoy the time you have before the news comes.
Yep.
Ignorance is bliss.