Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s09e12 Episode Script
Fionna and Cake and Fionna
1 - [MOUSE SQUEAKS.]
- [PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
- [SCREECHES.]
- [QUACKS.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We're going to a very distant land With Cake the cat and Fionna the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time These ghoul dudes take the form of whatever you're thinking about.
[CHAINSAWS BUZZ.]
An angry No, shy shark baby.
What if life was always just constant fun times on the river? Let's never do anything boring ever again.
Yes, let's never do anything boring ever ag [BEEPING.]
Time for Ice King's boring book reading.
Aw, come on! He's just gonna read those weird stories that are basically about us.
I kind of dig getting loosely adapted.
ICE KING: Fionna spoke with the voice of an angelic choir.
"You can have the rest of the screaming chili cheese dip if you want," she said.
[SNIFFLES.]
"It's totally fine.
" The end.
I said "the end"! [APPLAUSE.]
[CHAIR SQUEAKS.]
Let's get some questions.
Where do your ideas come from? They're beamed into my melon at night Same as everybody else.
Next! WOMAN: I have more of a criticism than a question.
I am very open to criticism! Your story was completely wrong.
And how would you know? I know because I am [STICK CLACKS.]
Fionna! ALL: [GASPS.]
I can show you what really happened.
It's all on this tape! - ALL: Ooh! - JAKE: What format is that? [VCR CLICKS, WHIRS.]
According to this map, we're very close.
- Hey.
Hey.
- Hi.
Hey.
There's the door.
- [DOOR KNOB RATTLES.]
- Aw, it's locked.
I'll get us in with key eye! Bam! "Eye" got it.
You get it, Fionna? Yeah, but it's a stretch.
[LAUGHTER.]
There I am.
[DOOR CREAKS.]
FIONNA: [SIGHS.]
Next time we find a map lying in the backyard, we should think twice.
CAKE: At least we get this fancy coffin.
How's it look? It's a decent addition to the treasure vestibule but still kind of a letdown.
You know what's never a letdown? Cookie sauce review party.
Yeah! Cookie dip.
Screaming chili cheese versus sriracha ranch.
[LID CREAKS.]
[VCR CLICKS, WHIRS.]
[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS.]
- Was it real? - Who was filming all that? - Wenk, wenk.
- Needs more hunks! Dude, I literally have one bazillion questions.
Uh, excuse me, Miss Fionna where did this video come fr-o-o-om! Fionna! I always knew we'd meet one day and become best friends.
So, uh, remember that time when Cake caught Ruse Goose, the notorious goose pickpocket? That was such a long time ago.
But during trial, you realized she was framed 'cause it was actually Abracadanielle pretending to be a goose all along! [HISSES.]
Can I also ask a question? Besties only.
I was just gonna ask if we could see more of the tape.
Oh, yeah, can we? I don't think so.
All right, just a little more.
[VCR CLICKS, WHIRS.]
[LID CREAKS.]
[YAWNS.]
Oh my glob.
It's a mummy! That's right.
I'm a mummy! - Aww.
- Yeah, you are.
And a real cutie, too.
I'm not cute! I'm horrible! [GROANS MENACINGLY.]
Want to hang? [VCR CLICKS, STATIC CRACKLES.]
Okay, that's enough.
BOTH: Aw! I want to see more.
I don't want to wear it out.
It's my only copy.
And it's very important to me.
Library closes in five.
- Click, click, click.
- [LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS.]
So, where you heading now? Guess I'll go back to the dump under the bridge where I live.
I'd invite you over, but I don't have a sofa or TV or anything.
It's literally a dump.
I have a TV.
My crib is equipped.
Oh, really? Hey, you should move in! Please live with me, Fionna.
This is the sweet spot.
My roo Oh! I wasn't expecting guests.
[CHUCKLES.]
Not that you mind a bit of dirt, right? Nice, huh? So, this is my room now.
Only the best for Fionna.
ICE KING: Oh, yeah.
I like this room, too.
It's where I do all my deep thinking.
Man, I still can't believe it The Fionna in my bathroom, touching my toothbrush, throwing it into my little trash can.
Fionna taking charge! That's what heroes do.
You're a so much better hero than Finn.
I know.
Plus, don't tell Jake, but I've always been more of a cat person.
Where is Cake the Cat? Cake? Cake? Cake is gone.
Some years back, there was an adventure mishap.
I don't feel comfortable talking about it.
Oh, okay.
Hey, you still haven't shown me where you keep your Fionna-and-Cake tapes.
- Sorry, no can do.
- What? Don't you have tapes? Oh, yeah, I got loads of tapes, but they're super private.
Maybe you'll change your mind once you see more of my mummy adventure? Yay! I'll get snacks.
[STATIC CRACKLES.]
[LAUGHTER.]
[GROANS.]
Hey, what's wrong? I have a curse! - Oh, no.
- Oh, no.
How can we save you, tiny mummy? The curse can only be broken by strong black coffee and fancy muffins from Breakfast Kingdom.
I know that place.
It has a really long line on weekends.
Yes! That sounds like the one.
Be a hero and fetch unto me the sacred breakfast.
Don't you worry, little guy.
We'll save you! [LAUGHS.]
[VCR CLICKS, STATIC CRACKLES.]
Okay, that's the end of the tape.
Really? My stories usually get wrapped up neater.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wrapped up mummies.
Yeah, well, there's no more, so You wouldn't know this, but old heroes need a lot of sleep.
I did know that.
- See you in the morning.
- [TAPE CLICKS.]
[CLICK ECHOING, OMINOUS TONE PLAYS.]
Okay.
Fionna? You awake? I made you a midnight snack.
[SNORING.]
[MUNCHING.]
[SIGHS, SNORES.]
[VCR CLICKS, STATIC CRACKLES.]
Mummy, we're home.
[GASPS.]
I knew it.
Where did it go? Maybe it had to go back into its coffin Dracula-style.
Mummy? We got your breakfast.
Hmm.
[COINS RATTLING.]
Shh! What's that? Nyeh.
That's our treasure! Stay away.
You'll get cursed.
[GROANS MENACINGLY.]
I take the curse off of me and put it back on you.
You understand nothing of mummy curses! Our treasure! Our muffins! Uhh do not look upon a naked mummy.
It's bad luck.
BOTH: Queen of Ooo?! That's right.
I snuck in here to pretend to steal your stash and teach you a valuable lesson.
Never invite strangers into your home, no matter how cool they seem and are.
You should be thanking me really.
[VCR CLICKS, WHIRS.]
Of course.
She didn't want me to see the end of the tape because she's not Fionna.
She's a mummy! Aah! [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
OTHER FIONNA: Come on.
They're all just him? Imposter! Reveal yourself! Aah! [GASPS.]
Knock it off! You're the knock-off! - What? - You're not Fionna! - How did you - Show me your true form! Aha! Huh? What kind of mummy are you supposed to be? No kind! I'm just an old lady.
Who likes to dress up as Fionna? It makes me feel confident, okay? Plus, I look really good in this outfit.
Look, I used to be very shy tinkering with my tech stuff all night, sleeping all day.
But one evening, I intercepted a strange signal.
I was mesmerized.
I watched that tape like 100 times before I finally stepped out of my cave a new woman, determined to find more Fionna and Cake.
I roamed Ooo for years with no luck.
But then, I found out about you, and I hatched a plan to steal your tapes.
What? I don't have any Fionna and Cake tapes.
I know! All of your tapes are filled with embarrassing diaries.
If I met them, I'd definitely record it.
Fionna and Cake aren't real, you ding-dong! They're just, like, a TV show from the past or something.
You're the ding-dong, lady! You tricked an old, defenseless Ice King.
[CRYING.]
Look, I didn't mean to hurt you.
You lied to me.
Fionna would never lie Never.
Oh, glob, you're right.
I'm not like Fionna.
I'm the mummy! - [WAILING.]
- [CRYING.]
- Wenk.
- Huh? Well, that was disheartening.
[ECHOING.]
Forgive me, Fionna! [YAWNS.]
FIONNA: [ECHOING.]
Cake, what time is it? Wenk.
- [PENGUINS CHIRP.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
- [SCREECHES.]
- [QUACKS.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We're going to a very distant land With Cake the cat and Fionna the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time These ghoul dudes take the form of whatever you're thinking about.
[CHAINSAWS BUZZ.]
An angry No, shy shark baby.
What if life was always just constant fun times on the river? Let's never do anything boring ever again.
Yes, let's never do anything boring ever ag [BEEPING.]
Time for Ice King's boring book reading.
Aw, come on! He's just gonna read those weird stories that are basically about us.
I kind of dig getting loosely adapted.
ICE KING: Fionna spoke with the voice of an angelic choir.
"You can have the rest of the screaming chili cheese dip if you want," she said.
[SNIFFLES.]
"It's totally fine.
" The end.
I said "the end"! [APPLAUSE.]
[CHAIR SQUEAKS.]
Let's get some questions.
Where do your ideas come from? They're beamed into my melon at night Same as everybody else.
Next! WOMAN: I have more of a criticism than a question.
I am very open to criticism! Your story was completely wrong.
And how would you know? I know because I am [STICK CLACKS.]
Fionna! ALL: [GASPS.]
I can show you what really happened.
It's all on this tape! - ALL: Ooh! - JAKE: What format is that? [VCR CLICKS, WHIRS.]
According to this map, we're very close.
- Hey.
Hey.
- Hi.
Hey.
There's the door.
- [DOOR KNOB RATTLES.]
- Aw, it's locked.
I'll get us in with key eye! Bam! "Eye" got it.
You get it, Fionna? Yeah, but it's a stretch.
[LAUGHTER.]
There I am.
[DOOR CREAKS.]
FIONNA: [SIGHS.]
Next time we find a map lying in the backyard, we should think twice.
CAKE: At least we get this fancy coffin.
How's it look? It's a decent addition to the treasure vestibule but still kind of a letdown.
You know what's never a letdown? Cookie sauce review party.
Yeah! Cookie dip.
Screaming chili cheese versus sriracha ranch.
[LID CREAKS.]
[VCR CLICKS, WHIRS.]
[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS.]
- Was it real? - Who was filming all that? - Wenk, wenk.
- Needs more hunks! Dude, I literally have one bazillion questions.
Uh, excuse me, Miss Fionna where did this video come fr-o-o-om! Fionna! I always knew we'd meet one day and become best friends.
So, uh, remember that time when Cake caught Ruse Goose, the notorious goose pickpocket? That was such a long time ago.
But during trial, you realized she was framed 'cause it was actually Abracadanielle pretending to be a goose all along! [HISSES.]
Can I also ask a question? Besties only.
I was just gonna ask if we could see more of the tape.
Oh, yeah, can we? I don't think so.
All right, just a little more.
[VCR CLICKS, WHIRS.]
[LID CREAKS.]
[YAWNS.]
Oh my glob.
It's a mummy! That's right.
I'm a mummy! - Aww.
- Yeah, you are.
And a real cutie, too.
I'm not cute! I'm horrible! [GROANS MENACINGLY.]
Want to hang? [VCR CLICKS, STATIC CRACKLES.]
Okay, that's enough.
BOTH: Aw! I want to see more.
I don't want to wear it out.
It's my only copy.
And it's very important to me.
Library closes in five.
- Click, click, click.
- [LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS.]
So, where you heading now? Guess I'll go back to the dump under the bridge where I live.
I'd invite you over, but I don't have a sofa or TV or anything.
It's literally a dump.
I have a TV.
My crib is equipped.
Oh, really? Hey, you should move in! Please live with me, Fionna.
This is the sweet spot.
My roo Oh! I wasn't expecting guests.
[CHUCKLES.]
Not that you mind a bit of dirt, right? Nice, huh? So, this is my room now.
Only the best for Fionna.
ICE KING: Oh, yeah.
I like this room, too.
It's where I do all my deep thinking.
Man, I still can't believe it The Fionna in my bathroom, touching my toothbrush, throwing it into my little trash can.
Fionna taking charge! That's what heroes do.
You're a so much better hero than Finn.
I know.
Plus, don't tell Jake, but I've always been more of a cat person.
Where is Cake the Cat? Cake? Cake? Cake is gone.
Some years back, there was an adventure mishap.
I don't feel comfortable talking about it.
Oh, okay.
Hey, you still haven't shown me where you keep your Fionna-and-Cake tapes.
- Sorry, no can do.
- What? Don't you have tapes? Oh, yeah, I got loads of tapes, but they're super private.
Maybe you'll change your mind once you see more of my mummy adventure? Yay! I'll get snacks.
[STATIC CRACKLES.]
[LAUGHTER.]
[GROANS.]
Hey, what's wrong? I have a curse! - Oh, no.
- Oh, no.
How can we save you, tiny mummy? The curse can only be broken by strong black coffee and fancy muffins from Breakfast Kingdom.
I know that place.
It has a really long line on weekends.
Yes! That sounds like the one.
Be a hero and fetch unto me the sacred breakfast.
Don't you worry, little guy.
We'll save you! [LAUGHS.]
[VCR CLICKS, STATIC CRACKLES.]
Okay, that's the end of the tape.
Really? My stories usually get wrapped up neater.
[CHUCKLES.]
Wrapped up mummies.
Yeah, well, there's no more, so You wouldn't know this, but old heroes need a lot of sleep.
I did know that.
- See you in the morning.
- [TAPE CLICKS.]
[CLICK ECHOING, OMINOUS TONE PLAYS.]
Okay.
Fionna? You awake? I made you a midnight snack.
[SNORING.]
[MUNCHING.]
[SIGHS, SNORES.]
[VCR CLICKS, STATIC CRACKLES.]
Mummy, we're home.
[GASPS.]
I knew it.
Where did it go? Maybe it had to go back into its coffin Dracula-style.
Mummy? We got your breakfast.
Hmm.
[COINS RATTLING.]
Shh! What's that? Nyeh.
That's our treasure! Stay away.
You'll get cursed.
[GROANS MENACINGLY.]
I take the curse off of me and put it back on you.
You understand nothing of mummy curses! Our treasure! Our muffins! Uhh do not look upon a naked mummy.
It's bad luck.
BOTH: Queen of Ooo?! That's right.
I snuck in here to pretend to steal your stash and teach you a valuable lesson.
Never invite strangers into your home, no matter how cool they seem and are.
You should be thanking me really.
[VCR CLICKS, WHIRS.]
Of course.
She didn't want me to see the end of the tape because she's not Fionna.
She's a mummy! Aah! [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
OTHER FIONNA: Come on.
They're all just him? Imposter! Reveal yourself! Aah! [GASPS.]
Knock it off! You're the knock-off! - What? - You're not Fionna! - How did you - Show me your true form! Aha! Huh? What kind of mummy are you supposed to be? No kind! I'm just an old lady.
Who likes to dress up as Fionna? It makes me feel confident, okay? Plus, I look really good in this outfit.
Look, I used to be very shy tinkering with my tech stuff all night, sleeping all day.
But one evening, I intercepted a strange signal.
I was mesmerized.
I watched that tape like 100 times before I finally stepped out of my cave a new woman, determined to find more Fionna and Cake.
I roamed Ooo for years with no luck.
But then, I found out about you, and I hatched a plan to steal your tapes.
What? I don't have any Fionna and Cake tapes.
I know! All of your tapes are filled with embarrassing diaries.
If I met them, I'd definitely record it.
Fionna and Cake aren't real, you ding-dong! They're just, like, a TV show from the past or something.
You're the ding-dong, lady! You tricked an old, defenseless Ice King.
[CRYING.]
Look, I didn't mean to hurt you.
You lied to me.
Fionna would never lie Never.
Oh, glob, you're right.
I'm not like Fionna.
I'm the mummy! - [WAILING.]
- [CRYING.]
- Wenk.
- Huh? Well, that was disheartening.
[ECHOING.]
Forgive me, Fionna! [YAWNS.]
FIONNA: [ECHOING.]
Cake, what time is it? Wenk.