Friends s09e24 Episode Script

Oh, isn't this nice? It's so quiet.
I could just lie here all day.
Oh, I know.
- Open your drapes! Open your drapes! - So glad we got adjoining rooms.
- The sun is out! - Hey! Remember when I had corneas? Go to the pool and reserve chairs.
- I will get the magazines and the lotion.
- Ladies? Ross' speech is in 45 minutes.
- No! - Damn it! Walls are pretty thin, guys.
"Then we have to weigh the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing Look at the woman sitting out by the pool getting tan.
She's all leathery and wrinkled.
I'm so jealous! "Finally, factor in the profusion of new species recently discovered.
Giganotosaurus.
"- Argentinosaurus.
" - Not to mention "Coldsaurus.
" in much the same way that "Homo ergaster" is thought to be a separate species from "Homo erectus"" Erectus"? "- Homo.
- Right.
"In a very real way, we can bring the Mesozoic Era into the 21 st century.
" Thank you.
- Really great.
- Oh, thanks, guys.
I thought it was wonderful.
Jarvis Oberblau.
Cornell.
I mean, the ideas you put forth, and from someone so young and Okay, now we're just holding hands.
Alrighty.
We're gonna hit the beach.
That was really great.
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
Oh, and so funny.
- Take it easy.
- All right, thanks.
Thanks so much.
Okay.
Well, excuse me? - Well? - You were incredible.
You blew them away.
I can't tell you how great it was to look in the crowd and see your face.
I mean, did you know you were mouthing the words along with me? - I was not.
- No, it's okay.
It made me feel like a rock star.
Oh, my God.
I'm your groupie.
Hey, I better not find you naked in my hotel room.
Look, I took it too far.
I can't believe it's raining again.
- What will we do today? - They have a game room downstairs.
They have Ping-Pong and stuff.
Ping-Pong? Honey, they have Ping-Pong.
- Let's play.
- I don't think so.
- Why not? - You know how competitive you get.
And while I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying.
- I'm not always that bad.
- Oh, yeah? What happened when we played last time? I punched you.
- And? - Phoebe.
- And? - I clunked your heads together.
- There you are.
- Hey.
Listen.
As soon as it stops raining, we have got to go snorkeling.
Some kid told me about this sea turtle.
If you blow bubbles in his face he chases you.
I'm sorry, I can't.
I'm running a discussion group all afternoon.
That's okay.
I'll find someone else to do it.
I feel so bad.
I haven't seen you this whole trip.
Especially last night Don't worry about it.
It was fine.
I had the best time with Rachel.
I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room working on Ross' speech.
Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun.
Oh, well, at least we're both having fun, right? - Is it weird that it's not with each other? - Yeah.
I think we need to talk.
Yeah, I think we do.
About what? - Come on, you guys, it'll be fun! - All right.
- I'll play if we don't keep score.
- Well, then how do we know who wins? - Nobody wins.
- So we're just four losers.
Super.
- I'll play you.
- Okay.
- You don't know what you're doing.
- She gets crazy.
This scar? That's from Pictionary.
- You want to volley a bit for serve? - Sure, if you want to.
Oh, by the way, I'm awesome.
Oh, dear God, there's two of them.
- Want to make it more interesting? - How much you thinking? - Ten bucks a game? - Make it 50.
- I'll make it 100.
- One thousand Okay! - Monica, you call it.
- Heads.
No, tails! Heads! - Tails.
- Oh, what are the chances? - My point! - Oh, no, I don't think so.
Standard rules: If at any time a player uses his nonracket-bearing hand to touch the playing surface, he or she forfeits the point.
He was a lawyer.
All the East Coast is having beautiful weather.
"In New York", "it's 72 and sunny.
" Weather bitch.
It's open.
- Hi, Joe.
- Hey.
- What? Is everything okay? - Charlie and I broke up.
No.
Why? Well, she said we have nothing in common.
That's crazy.
No, it's not.
We have nothing in common.
- Yeah, that's true.
- Yeah.
I mean, she should be with someone more like Ross.
You know, I mean he uses all those big words too.
- Man, smart people are dull.
- Well, hey! Okay, Rach.
I feel so stupid, you know? Why do I keep going after the wrong girls? - What are you talking about? - Oh, come on.
I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie.
It's like What the hell's my problem? I just Okay.
Maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl.
I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me.
- I'm not talking about her.
- Well, then, who? The waitress I went out with last month? - You know what? Forget it.
- No, no, no, no.
- Who are you talking about? - No, I don't I actually don't know who I'm talking about, so - Okay.
- Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna go see if I can get a room for tonight.
- And I'll see you later.
- Yeah, sure.
Okay.
- You like me? - Okay.
- Let's not make a big thing about this.
- It's a huge thing! Okay, not working with me, Joe.
Look, here's the thing.
Lately, I have been having thoughts.
Musings, if you will.
- Well, for how long? - Oh, only like a month.
- A month? - Well Dial it down.
Listen, maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do.
I have been thinking about, you know, us.
- Okay, dial it up a little.
- Oh, you're right.
Okay.
- I just have a question.
- Shoot.
- What the hell are you doing? - I'm not trying to do anything.
It's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know? And I mean, aren't you just a little curious what it would be like? Am I curious? I mean, I'm as curious as George! - Who? - Curious George! You know, the monkey and the guy with the yellow hat.
- Of course.
I remember.
- He had a paper route.
Yeah, he did.
- See, this is what I'm talking about.
- No, I know.
We're great! But, Rach, no, this can't happen.
Can't it just happen a little bit? - No! It can't happen at all! - Why not? Because, look, no one wants this to happen more than me, okay? I have gone over this moment in my head 100 times and not once did I ever say no.
I couldn't do it to Ross.
- But that wasn't gonna stop you before.
- I know.
I know but I've thought about it a lot since then, and it just wouldn't be right.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
- Oh, God, I shouldn't have said anything.
- No, no.
No, no, no, no.
Hey, we'll be fine.
- Like you said, it's no big deal.
- It's not a big deal.
- No big deal.
- It's so not a big deal.
- I'll see you later.
All right, hey.
- Okay, great.
Okay Oh, I'm sorry, I think I think that may have missed the table.
- Oh, do you? - Yeah.
- Do you? - Yeah.
- Do you? - Yeah! - You really find this attractive on him? - Oh, yeah.
Are you telling me you're not even a little turned on by Monica right now? This is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
All right, come on, Mike.
You can beat her.
Knock that dog off her head.
- Damn it! - I sleep with him! - Game point.
- Don't get too cocky.
Remember, I won the last one.
Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl? You should look in the mirror before you call yourself that.
- No! No! No! - And that's how it's done.
Okey-dokey.
You've each won a game, and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life.
Everybody goes home a winner.
- Best of three? - That's what I'm thinking.
Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil? - Serve the ball, chump.
- "Serve the ball, chump.
" Okay, better comebacks, Mike.
Better comebacks.
I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks.
If you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be just nifty.
Well, I've kind of got a lot on my plate right now.
Not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man.
- Jarvis? - Oh, you're back.
- This is my wife, Nancy.
- Well, get out! - Ross? Can I talk to you for a minute? - Yes, please.
So, what's going on? Well, Joey and I broke up.
- Oh, my God.
What happened? - Joey is a great guy but we're just We're so different.
I mean, like, during your speech, he kept laughing at "Homo erectus.
" I knew that was him! Anyway, I just I think it's for the best.
- Hey.
Hey, you okay? - I guess.
There was There was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey.
I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone else.
Okay, Geller.
Last day of the conference.
You know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Professor Klarik, we're in the middle of a conversation here.
- Can't you throw him in the pool later? - Or we could throw you both in now.
Okay, gentlemen, please.
Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, all right? We're academics and most importantly, you will have to catch us first.
Go! Go! Go! Okay, so it's tied again, - Okay, look, enough is enough.
- No.
- I just have two more points to beat him.
- Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you.
Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! You've already proven you're just as good as he is.
We missed our dinner reservations, so let's just go upstairs order room service, take a shower and shave your head! I can't just walk away.
I've put in four hours.
You knew this about me when you married me.
You agreed to take me in sickness and in health.
Well, this is my sickness! - What about the obsessive cleaning? - That's just good sense.
- You okay? - No, honey, I'm okay.
Shake it off.
Oh, no shaking.
No shaking.
No shaking.
Oh, my God.
I can't play.
- So you forfeit? - Mike wins? I can't believe it.
I lost.
- No, you didn't.
- What? - Because I'm gonna play for you.
- You can't do that.
It's okay.
I don't care which of them I beat.
Okay, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
- Honey, you don't have to do this.
- Yes, I do.
I may not understand why you have to win so badly but if it's important to you, it's important to me.
Because I love you.
But you suck.
You're welcome, sweetheart.
All right, let's get this over with.
Sudden death.
- Whoever wins this point, wins.
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
You're good.
- It's like watching porn.
And that's how it's done.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That was so amazing.
Well, when did you? Hold on, I almost forgot.
Loser.
- When did you stop sucking? - I never sucked.
I just didn't want you to know how good I was.
- Why? - I don't know.
- Well, this is so great.
- Now we can enter doubles tournaments.
- That's why.
- They still looking for us? - Yeah.
The bartender said they split up into two search parties.
The herbivores and the carnivores.
- I don't think they saw us.
- I don't think they did.
So I started to tell you something earlier.
There was another reason that I realized it was time to end it with Joey.
I kind of realized I was starting to have feelings for someone else.
And can I ask who? I think you know.
I think I know too, but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so - I'm sorry, we can't.
- All right.
All right.
I mean, you just went out with my best friend, you know? I just think it would be a really, really bad idea.
Or not.
I mean What?