Doc Martin (2004) s10e06 Episode Script

- Leave in 20 minutes?
- Yeah. Janice'll be here any second.
Are we still confident about
leaving her alone with the children?
Look, we've been over this.
She is their babysitter.
And Ruth's gonna be
keeping an eye on her.
That's not a yes.
Martin, a-are you nervous?
A little, yeah.
Sometimes I wonder if she's capable
of focusing on anything at all,
let alone looking after small children.
No, I meant about London,
and the Imperial conference.
Oh, no. It's just a lecture.
Well, it's not just a lecture,
it's key-note speaker.
It's a really big deal.
And I think it's gonna be fun.
It's our first trip away since
Well, since forever.
Well, I will miss them, but, you know
19 minutes.
I'll put the bags in the car.
OK. Come on, eat up, sweetie.
Get out.
Ruth.
I read your lecture.
And?
It's good.
- In fact, it's very good.
- Oh, thank you.
Listen, you promise you'll
keep an eye on Janice, won't you?
Oh, stop worrying.
Have you hidden a kidney
or a bit of spleen in here?
- Oh, no, of course not.
- Good.
Oh, I'm so envious of you, Martin.
It's a long time since
I was in the academic spotlight.
You may get used to it.
By the way, the dog's in the car.
What? Oh, get out!
Thank you.
Here's the children's schedule -
it's most important in the evening.
Dinner time,
followed by educational play time,
followed by bath time, then a story,
and then bed at seven o'clock exactly.
Dinner, play, story, bath, bed. Gotcha.
No. Bath, story, bed.
- That's what I said.
- No, you didn't.
Dinner, play, story, bed, bath.
H-Hang on.
- That's not it
- It's all there, on the list.
Oh, you forgot to mention Chicken.
He's fed at breakfast and dinner time.
Yes, and he's not
to get any scraps from the table,
and he's not allowed on the furniture.
The emergency numbers are on the fridge.
And if anything goes wrong,
anything at all,
call us immediately.
Yeah, yeah, we'll be absolutely fine.
Right, let's get your briefcase
and get you ready for school.
Oh, I think I might have left it
under the stairs.
OK.
I'll send Ruth a message,
make sure she's gonna come
and keep an eye on her.
I'm sure there's no need for that,
but if it makes you feel better
- Why are you whispering?
- We don't want Janice to think
- we're constantly checking up on her.
- Why not? She might buck up!
Martin.
All set!
You don't have to worry, you know.
I'm perfectly capable.
No, i-it's not that. It's just that
we've never left them for so long.
And it's hard not to feel guilty.
Will you call me
before you put them to bed?
- Sure thing, boss.
- Yeah.
- Bye, James.
- Bye-bye. See you, sweetie.
Be good. Bye-bye.
Bye!
Bye!
We're gonna have a great time.
At least you know I'm up to the job.
OK, see you later. Bye!
Hiya.
- Where you off to?
- Well, since the surgery's closed,
me and Al are going to Newquay
for the day.
Can I ask you something?
Does the doc trust you to do a good job?
As much as he trusts anyone,
so not really.
- Pram.
- Pram? Pram!
That could've happened to anyone.
You're gonna be great.
Ellingham. Doctor and Mrs.
Two aisle seats, please.
- Enjoy your flight.
- Thank you.
Oh, no way! It's the doc.
Oh, and my old teacher, Miss, er
Miss?
Trudy Braithwaite, hello.
No, I was Miss Glasson.
I'm Mrs Ellingham now.
Oh, I'd heard you'd married the doc!
- I'm getting hitched myself soon.
- I can see that. Congratulations!
- Are you two going to London as well?
- We are.
Well, see you on the plane!
- Shots, please!
- Oh, that's a brilliant idea!
Just ignore them. It's a short flight.
I'm not gonna let them
spoil our first trip away.
Doc! Doc!
The girls wanna know what we can do
to avoid a hangover.
- We're gonna have a big night.
- Don't drink.
The seat-belt sign is on -
you'll need to return to your seat.
All right, all right, I'm go
What's the matter?
Trudy? What's the matter? Somebody help!
- Doc! Trudy
- Martin.
- Doc!
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
- She's choking!
Oh, my God, she's choking.
- Let me through, I'm a doctor.
- She's choking.
- I think she needs the Heimlich.
- Well, there isn't enough room.
Right, turn to face me.
Right, I'm going to hit you hard.
Why are you gonna hit Trudy?
We need somebody to help her!
- Sit down.
- Stop talking.
Oof!
Bloody hell. Thanks, Doc. Sorry.
You could have died.
Stop drinking so much, all of you.
He's right.
Stay in your seats and stop drinking.
Oh, God
That was scary. Are you OK?
- Is she is she gonna be OK?
- Yeah, I think so.
Are you sure you're all right?
No, she head-butted me.
W-Well, we need to get some ice on that.
Take your pick!
- I want a new story.
- A new story? OK.
Erm
Once upon a time,
there was a princess called
Janice!
Now, a lot of people thought that
Princess Janice wasn't that smart.
And to be fair,
she hadn't done very well at school.
But that didn't mean
she was stupid or irresponsible
- it's just that school was dead boring.
- I like school!
Yeah, but you don't have the
teachers that Princess Janice had.
Oh, Martin, this is lovely.
Shame we can't stay an extra night.
Er, Doctor and Mrs Ellingham,
er, for the obstetrics conference.
They've got your name up in lights,
so to speak.
Room 186.
First floor.
Here's your room key, Dr Ellingham.
Thank you.
Here's the Wi-Fi code,
and here is your itinerary.
- Itinerary?
- Yes, for the conference.
I thought it was just the speech
tomorrow.
This brochure outlines
the hotel's facilities.
Fitness centre, swimming pool and spa,
- all open between 7am and 9pm.
- Oh, very nice, thank you.
- Enjoy your stay.
- Can I help with your luggage?
Er, no. It's all on wheels.
Eye looks nasty.
Get into a fight?
No, I didn't.
Er The lift is just this way.
Right. We'll take the stairs, I think.
There's a drinks reception this evening.
Do you think we have to go to that?
Oh, well, we really should, yeah.
Shall I put some concealer on your eye?
No, I'm not wearing make-up.
It's not that bad, is it?
No.
Hello!
- What are you doing here, Joe?
- Thought I'd come help babysit.
I've brought some of my favourite games.
You've missed playtime, I'm afraid.
First rule of babysitting -
there's always time for games.
I'm working to a very tight schedule.
You know the doc is dead strict.
You'd be bored.
- Try me. What are we doing?
- It's story time.
Oh, I love a story.
What is it? Jack and the Beanstalk?
- Princess Janice!
- Oh, I know the one.
That's where the handsome Prince Joe
- battles the evil
- Seriously, Joe.
It's really important
that I do a good job.
- You do seem a bit stressed.
- Doc left a list,
and if I muck it up,
then I'm gonna know I'm useless.
I mean, he's gonna know I'm useless.
Oh, it's Louisa.
I was meant to call her earlier,
after the kids ate.
It's fine, I-I'll see you later.
And don't worry.
- You've got this.
- Hello, this is Louisa.
I mean hello, Louisa.
Hi, Janice. Is everything OK?
Yes, everything's great.
We're just doing stories,
right on schedule.
Would you like to say hello to James?
- Hello, James!
- Hello, Mummy.
How are you and Mary?
- We are really fine.
- Glad to hear it!
Yeah, we're missing you.
I love you.
And Daddy says he loves you, too.
- Yeah. Can you just tell Janice
- Yeah, it's Janice.
Oh, he's right.
He's bored of me already, is he?
Yeah
Do call if you have any problems.
- Yeah.
- Will do.
- Bye, then! Bye! Bye.
- Bye.
- Marin?
- Hm?
There's a lot of people here.
- Are you nervous?
- No.
- All right?
- Yeah.
Martin! How lovely to see you.
- How long has it been?
- A very, very long time.
- I'm Louisa Ellingham.
- Right,
yes, this is Professor Phillips.
She's the Dean
of the Faculty of Medicine.
Well, I can't imagine how demanding
it must be at your level.
I found it challenging enough being
a head teacher, Professor Phillips.
Judy is fine. Nice to meet you.
- What happened to your eye?
- Er, well,
I had to perform an epigastric punch,
for want of a better word, on the plane,
and the patient
involuntarily head-butted me.
- Never off the clock, are we?
- No, no, we're not.
So, did you work with Martin before?
I was his student mentor at King's.
Oh, it's funny, I can't imagine
Martin being a student!
- I doubt he's changed much.
- You're probably right about that.
Do you still write poetry?
No, I don't. Hello, Sophie.
Oh, that's a shame.
Hi, Laura. Professor Phillips, hello.
Nice to see you, Doctor?
Actually, it's Mrs. Mrs Trent.
Yes, it's nice to see you again.
Is your husband here, too?
No. Fortunately, he couldn't make it.
What happened to your eye?
There was a medical emergency
on the plane.
Oh, dear.
Sorry, I'm still trying to picture
Martin writing poetry.
Oh, I don't remember it being very good.
Definitely a better surgeon than a poet.
Dr Martin Ellingham.
It's a real pleasure.
Naveen Shukla.
- How do you do?
- This is Martin's wife, Laura.
Actually, it's
Naveen is Head of our Obstetrics
and Gynaecology department.
Pleased to meet you.
Are you in medicine, too?
Er, well, I
I-I'm in children's mental health.
- So you're a psychiatrist?
- No, she's a child counsellor.
Ah. Is your eye OK?
Apparently the result
of a medical emergency on a plane!
Well, I'm glad it didn't delay you.
We're all delighted you've agreed
to present your paper here.
Ellingham Cup invention of yours
is making a real difference
to our deliveries.
It's not really an invention. I just
modified the existing ventouse.
He's very modest.
Oh, Martin, this is Mr Timothy Daniels.
- It's a pleasure, Dr Ellingham.
- And Professor Lynn Buchanan.
- Lovely to meet you.
- How do you do?
So, Martin, why obstetrics?
What led you to focus on that area?
Well, I imagine
it was personal experience.
Obviously, it was extremely valuable
for Martin's research
to have a pregnancy so close to home.
Oh, YOU'RE the troublesome cervix,
Laura?
- Excuse me?
- The case study in Martin's paper?
Oh, no. No, no,
I'm not one of the actual studies.
Am I one of the studies?
Oh, didn't realise
it was a secret. Sorry.
It's not a secret.
We just haven't discussed it.
Wait, so
so you're giving a presentation
on me tomorrow?
Well, that's not how I'd put it.
But, erm that's
that's part of it. Amongst others.
Hm.
I'm really sorry. I really
didn't mean to embarrass you.
No, no. I'm not embarrassed.
I was just, erm
caught off-guard.
There's a lot of people here
I didn't expect to see.
Mm.
Important people.
I didn't realise Martin's lecture
would be such a draw.
No, we didn't think it would be, either.
Martin said
you both used to live together.
Yeah. Not for long.
Back when we were junior doctors.
Yeah
First proper relationship.
First broken heart.
First time I caught a mackerel.
Yeah. All the fun stuff.
Thank you.
That looks good. I'll have the same,
please. One of those.
I suppose it was all for the best.
You wouldn't have met your husband
otherwise.
Oh, yes.
We're separated.
Physically, emotionally
soon to be legally.
15 years of marriage
over in the stroke of a pen.
- Oh, dear. I'm so sorry.
- No, it's fine.
You know, it's actually good,
it's very freeing.
- Fine.
- It's like a fresh start.
Do you wanna just stop
throwing that thing around
- and just pour me the drink, please?
- Yeah.
Great.
Cheers, thanks.
The parameters of that research
were so, so narrow
that the findings could only be flawed.
You don't sit on the fence, do you?
Martin's never cared for politics.
Only what was best for the patient.
Yes, of course.
There is something
I have been wanting to ask you.
Possibly a touchy subject.
The blood thing, the hemophobia.
- Yes?
- It is fascinating.
A medical practitioner
with an adverse reaction to blood.
Hasn't that been
extremely challenging for you?
Er, no. I'm in control of it.
Aren't you tempted
to go back to surgery?
No, not at the moment, no.
Oh, you're having a cocktail.
Well, I thought I
We might as well enjoy ourselves.
Quite right, Laura.
These things can be dreadfully dull.
I will miss them, though.
- Why, are you leaving?
- Moving into research.
Something I've neglected
over these past years.
And you'll be greatly missed.
Yes, terrible loss.
I sometimes think
doctors are similar to sharks.
We have to keep moving forward,
or we die.
It's what baffles me about you, Martin.
Giving up a glittering career
to work as a rural GP.
I'd hate to see your skills go to waste.
They're not.
Martin's a fantastic GP.
The whole community loves him.
If you did want to flex
your diagnostic muscles,
I have a very puzzling case.
What do you know about
pelvic congestion syndrome?
Erm, it's a chronic condition,
causing symptoms
when varicose veins develop
in the lower abdomen,
usually after childbirth.
Usually, yes. Except this patient's
never had any children,
and I'm really struggling
to find the source of the pain.
Martin, perhaps if you had time
tomorrow, you could take a look?
I wasn't actually suggesting
that Martin should perform
a clinical examination!
It does sound as though
you could use some help.
- First thing tomorrow, Martin?
- Erm, well
I'm going to the spa, so up to you.
Er, so, so
if it's useful to the patient,
- then yes, of course.
- Well, it's always very useful
- to have a second opinion.
- Thank you very much.
Excuse me, can I have another drink?
- Oh, oh!
- Are you OK?
Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
Sophie
Are you all right?
Do you need to sit down?
Are you nauseous? Are you dizzy?
No, Martin. Don't make such a fuss,
honestly, I'm perfectly fine.
It's just one too many cocktails,
that's all.
Martin, Laura. I'd like you to meet
Mr Ewan Adams,
from Imperial's cardiac unit.
Erm, Mr Adams. Very nice to meet you.
Joe!
S-Surprise.
What are you doing here?!
I almost lamped you with a
well, with a lamp.
Well, you said you were stressed,
so I got you your favourite.
Fish, chips, touch of salt,
extra vinegar, no mushy peas.
Oh, and I bought you a bottle of wine.
- I ate with the children.
- Oh.
And smashing a bottle of wine
all over the doc's kitchen floor
isn't making me feel any less stressed.
Oh, I didn't smash it.
It just slipped out my hand and
Yeah, then it smashed.
Oh, and, erm
I bought you some flowers.
Just pop them on the table.
It's my mess, I can clean it.
Let me help.
I don't need your help.
Honestly, the best thing you can do
is go.
It's very sweet, but when you're around,
- things have a habit of going wrong.
- That's not true.
You had to pee in a vase
on our ex-wedding day.
I had kidney stones. It wasn't my fault.
I just wanna show the doc and Louisa
that I can do a good job.
And this is exactly the kind of mess
they think I'm gonna make.
Well
if you do need anything, just call.
I won't. But thanks.
And thanks for the flowers.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Well, er, good night. Shall we?
- Good night, lovely to meet you.
- You, too.
Look at you, Mr Popular.
Sorry. Dr Popular.
I'm starving.
- Shall we order some room service?
- Yes.
Were you and Sophie
quite serious together?
- No, not really, no.
- She told me you broke her heart.
That's not how I remember it.
We just weren't very well suited
to one another.
But I don't remember
her drinking that much, no.
Probably cos she's in the middle
of a divorce.
- And why's everyone calling me Laura?
- Oh, I don't know.
She told you a lot
of personal information.
Yes, I think maybe she just needed
someone to talk to.
Mm.
So, shall we discuss your lecture now?
What do you mean?
Well, the fact you wrote
a medical study on me. Yes.
Er, well, I suppose
we should have discussed it,
but I just assumed that you knew.
Why would I know?
Well, whose cervix
did you think it was about?
I don't know! It's not the sort
of question I would ever consider.
It was an anonymous study.
It didn't occur to me
- that anybody would know it was you.
- Well, Sophie clearly did.
Well, yes, because she met you.
But to anybody else,
it's just an anonymous cervix
on a series of slides.
- There are slides?!
- Yes, of course.
I thought you were being
so attentive during it all
because you missed so much
when I was pregnant with James.
- I was.
- How do I know that?
Louisa, the paper and the slides
are academic,
researching a condition
to help other women
who might be suffering
similar difficulties to you.
You were never just a patient to me.
You're my wife,
and you were carrying our child.
I suppose that's not a terrible answer.
I'm still gonna order the most
expensive thing on the menu, though.
Ooh. OK, maybe not THE most expensive.
Is there fish?
- Have you got Mary's bottle?
- Yes, I have.
- How about her hat?
- Yeah, I have her hat.
- How about her coat?
- Are you checking up on me as well?
How about you stop worrying,
and let's get you to school?
Martin. Morning.
Ah, morning.
How are you feeling after last night?
- Perfectly well, thank you.
- No hangover?
I'm sure I made something
of a fool of myself last night,
let's not dwell on it.
I don't suppose
anyone will remember it, anyway.
Which, in its own way, is almost as bad.
The patient's this way.
Thank you.
Morning, Mrs Briggs.
This is Dr Ellingham,
he'll be consulting with me
on your case today.
He was one of the best surgeons
in the country.
- What do you mean, "was"?
- I moved into General Practice.
Well, I hope you know your stuff,
cos I'm sick to death
of being poked and prodded.
Mrs Briggs remains very spirited,
despite our ongoing concerns.
- What did you do to your eye?
- Erm
The er it doesn't matter.
Do you have any other symptoms,
apart from pelvic pain?
There's some blood in my wee and
sore down here.
I take it you've ruled out
kidney stones?
I'm not a junior doctor any more,
Martin.
Let's just assume I've considered
and discarded the obvious.
You wouldn't be the first doctor
to miss something
that was right under their nose.
Can you show me
the left renal vein, please?
Yeah, give me a second.
You're in the wrong place.
The renal vein is partially obstructed.
- You're right, it is.
- It's Nutcracker syndrome.
I'm not familiar with that.
It's a rare vein compression disorder.
A branch of the aorta
has compressed the renal vein.
None of that sounds any good.
Blood isn't flowing properly
to one of your veins,
so it's having to travel backwards,
causing a bit of a traffic jam,
leading to swelling and pressure.
It's why you have pelvic pain
and blood in your urine.
I'll arrange a laparoscopy.
No, she should be referred
to a vascular surgeon.
Of course. They can
embolise the pelvic veins
and put a stent in the renal vein.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah, I should have thought of that.
You didn't, though.
Well, aren't we lucky Dr Ellingham
was with us today?
Thank you, Doctor.
It's good to know someone
knows what they're doing.
- We'll be in touch, Mrs Briggs.
- Yes.
Well, that was like being back
on the ward rounds again -
you were right and I was wrong.
Plenty of times
it was the other way around.
That's very kind of you,
but I'm not sure about that.
I miss those days, you know.
Life was simpler, somehow.
- Hm. It was a long time ago.
- Yeah, I suppose.
- Did you just wink at me?
- No, I did not!
So, you've booked our deluxe
head, neck and shoulder massage?
Yeah, I'm feeling a little
a little tense round here.
Have you been under
any extra stress recently?
Well, I've been having a weekend
away with my husband, so
- Don't you worry. Just try to relax.
- Yeah.
- Forget all your problems.
- Yeah.
No, it it's not a problem.
Although he did write
an in-depth article
about my cervix without telling me.
And then I found out there were slides.
Sorry, he's one of the doctors
at the conference,
I probably should have mentioned that.
OK, so, we're almost home.
Er, everybody got
all their fingers and toes?
- Yes!
- Anybody missing?
- No.
- Good job, Janice.
Hello, Ruth. Just in the area, were you?
Yes. Hello, James.
Right, well, you'd better come in.
I'm just putting lunch on.
James has a half day.
- Cheesy beans on toast?
- Yes!
Someone's popular.
They're not mine. And if they are,
it's only because Joe popped around
for about five seconds last night,
so you don't need to go
telling Martin all about it.
I'm sure he and Louisa
wouldn't have minded.
No, wait a minute, Martin
would have minded. Enormously.
But we're not going to
tell him about it, are we?
Are you encouraging me
to lie to my employer?
Because that is something
I would never do.
No. No, Janice.
Have you managed to do all of this?
Did they ask you here to check up on me?
No. Well, yes, they did.
Because they don't think
I'm responsible enough?
- Oh, I'm sure they don't think that.
- The doc does, I heard him say it.
Why don't you try
seeing it from his point of view?
- It can help.
- All right.
"That Janice is so rubbish."
No, I meant trying to understand
how he feels,
not pretend to be him.
He's worried
about leaving me with the kids
- because he thinks I'm an idiot.
- If Martin thought you were an idiot,
he wouldn't leave you
with the children, ever.
Well
It's the first time
they've been away, isn't it,
since baby Mary was born.
Oh.
Oh. You're pretty good.
Don't worry, Janice.
I'll be reporting back
that you're doing a fantastic job.
- You will?
- Of course.
I'm going now and leaving it all
in your very capable hands.
Thank you, Ruth.
See, didn't I say
I'd prove your daddy wrong?
Oh, no!
It's OK. It's OK.
It's fine.
Come on.
Come on!
Everything is OK, James.
There's not even a fire.
It's just a little bit of smoke.
How many alarms does one person need?!
I'll be back in one second.
Argh!
Excuse me, I just must Martin
I just wanted to see
if there's anything you need
- before we begin.
- Er, no, thank you.
Sorry, is that your wife over there,
trying to get your attention?
Er, yes, it is. Louisa.
You remember Professor Shukla.
- Yes, hello.
- Hello.
- You're wearing a dressing gown.
- I know.
I went to the spa,
can't open my locker,
and now I'm locked out of my room.
Have you asked reception
for another key?
That's what I'm trying to do, yeah.
- Good morning, Dr Ellingham.
- Hello. Hi there.
- Hi.
- Good morning, Laura.
- Oh.
- Hi.
Looking forward to the
talk, Dr Ellingham.
Thank you.
- Why don't you take my key?
- Yeah. I'll sort my locker out later.
I'll be five minutes.
I'll come and find you
before your lecture begins.
- Do you want me to walk you to the lifts?
- No, it's fine
people will probably just think
I'm a bit eccentric.
Yes.
- Joe!
- Janice?
- What's that noise?
- I burned some toast
and now the alarm is going mental
and I can't get to it.
I need your help.
Are you sure? Because
I distinctly remember
you saying you didn't want my help.
- Joe.
- I'm on my way.
Hi.
I just wanted to say good luck.
And thank you.
- Thank you for what?
- Doing this.
- Oh.
- You've drawn quite a crowd.
Least I get to bathe
in some of your reflected glory.
Sophie, you have an excellent career.
Well, some would say it's flatlining,
with little chance of revival.
But hey, you know
it's appreciated.
I know it can be nerve-racking,
talking in front of a lot of people.
Yeah, yeah, it can be.
They say if you're intimidated,
you know,
you should imagine your audience naked.
Frankly, I find that
a bit disturbing, but
All those naked people, sitting
there, like some sort of Roman orgy.
Hm. Ghastly image.
You always did make me laugh, Martin.
Well, I'm not so sure that's true.
Well, more than you made me cry.
That's something.
- How's the eye doing?
- Oh, erm
- It's less painful than it was yesterday.
- Well, let's have a look.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's healing nicely.
- Hold still.
- If you insist.
Martin?
I was examining her eye.
Well, that didn't look
like an eye examination to me.
She has a strabismus. A squint.
I was tilting her head to the light
so that I could see it.
Well, forgive me
if I received mixed signals.
There were no signals!
Oh, don't get all
hot and bothered, Martin.
It was a mistake, it's not a problem.
Kissing my husband
is most definitely a problem.
Is that the real reason
that you wanted him here?
No, Naveen Shukla
asked me to invite him.
He thinks Martin's brilliant.
I was just enjoying his company again.
I don't believe this.
No, she's
not winking, that's the squint.
- You're not winking, are you?
- No, I am not!
I'm sorry, it's just
Dr Ellingham,
your lecture is due to start now.
Yes.
- Break a leg.
- Good luck.
Dr Martin Ellingham
has had many roles
a top vascular surgeon,
a highly respected general practitioner,
the inventor of the Ellingham cup,
and I'm delighted to introduce him
as our keynote speaker.
Thank you. Er, good afternoon.
I'm here to present
and discuss my research paper:
Ultrasound Scanning in General Practice:
An Assessment of Late Pregnancy
Cervical Maturation
in the Geriatric Primigravida.
It's in there, but the door's locked.
And if it keeps making this racket,
someone's gonna notice
and phone the doc.
Well, I could break the door down
with my strength
Yeah, and how do you think
the doc's gonna react,
if he comes home
and finds his door smashed in?
Hm. It's a dilemma.
- You can pick the lock!
- I can?
Yeah! You're always saying
there's not a door on earth
- that you can't get into.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I can. Easy-peasy.
How long will it take?
Minutes. Hours. It's hard to tell.
Just not used to this particular
type of paperclip.
It worked.
- You have done that before?
- Yeah, it's not like it's my first time.
- OK, the alarm?
- Right, don't worry. Leave it to me.
Our hero!
Just doing my job.
And Daddy will never have to know
we were here, will he?
What have you done?!
Er, so here is an image
taken from an ultrasound scan
performed in the 34th week
of a pregnancy,
and as you can see,
the cervix is thinning,
suggesting cervical effacement.
And in these further images, you can
see that cervix, er, in more detail.
Er, this, I think, is the clearest
image of the thinning cervix.
- Are all these yours?
- Shh.
You shh!
..of the geriatric mother.
Of course, the concern here
is premature labour,
which is more hazardous with
Stop staring, it's rude.
..making rapid labour
ultimately more likely.
- The doc's gonna kill me.
- Maybe he won't notice.
Of course he'll notice,
he notices everything.
James, you can't tell him
about this, because if you do,
then Janice will get in trouble,
and we don't want that, do we?
I'm not going to lie.
It's not lying, it's just
not mentioning something.
I'll buy you an ice cream.
You're not trying to bribe me?
That's wrong.
It is. I'm sorry.
Can I get a really big ice cream?
- As big as your head.
- I'm just gonna tell the truth.
I nearly burnt the house down,
and then we broke the statue.
I messed up. There's no point
pretending otherwise.
You didn't mess up, I did.
- And I'm gonna fix it.
- Where are you going?
To get my really big ice cream?
So, to conclude, er,
all the available data leads me
to believe that the benefits
of this particular form
of detection are abundantly clear
and are of particular use
to expectant geriatric mothers
living in remote areas.
Thank you.
Let's open the floor to some questions.
Over there, in the blue shirt.
Excellent lecture. Er, Dr Ellingham
What led you
to create the Ellingham cup?
This, er, was a situation
where I perceived
a necessity for a medical intervention
and working backwards and sideways,
er, produced a practical solution.
Right.
- Blue shirt.
- I haven't finished yet.
Forgive me. Please, go on.
- Maybe you should sit down.
- Shh. Shh, shh.
Sorry, I don't want to sit down,
I want to ask my question.
Dr Ellingham, you are undoubtedly
a very talented man
..but some people would say that you
turned your back on those talents
and that you ran away
to a seaside town full of
house calls and housewives.
In the meantime,
some of us worked hard
..we followed the rules,
we did everything
that we were supposed to do.
We didn't turn our backs on anything.
And yet you're up there in the light
and I'm down here in the dark.
I'm sorry, what's the question?
I don't know. I don't know,
it just doesn't seem very fair.
- Martin!
- Mind her head.
It's a vasovagal attack.
Can somebody fetch some water?
Could you give us a few moments?
There's tea and coffee outside,
and if you could just give us
a bit of space? Thank you.
- Shall I call an ambulance?
- There's no need.
- She's simply fainted.
- I'm not so sure.
Her pulse is very low
and she's sweating.
None of which is inconsistent
with someone fainting,
especially considering the heat
in here and her drinking last night.
I noticed she had
a pronounced squint earlier.
That, combined with the low
pulse rate and the perspiration,
- I think she's got sixth nerve palsy.
- I don't think that's likely.
- Where's her bag? Is this it?
- Yeah.
I would have thought,
for sixth nerve palsy,
we'd be looking at
an underlying metabolic condition.
Yes, I'm aware of that.
Insulin. Type 1 diabetes.
She's having a hypoglycaemic attack.
We need some glucagon.
It must be in here somewhere.
Yeah, here we go.
Oh, dear.
Good work, Dr Ellingham.
She needs something with sugar
in it. A fruit juice, or something.
I'll go to the bar.
I just made a bit of a scene, didn't I?
- Have you been taking your insulin?
- When I remember.
I'm afraid I, er
I don't always remember.
- Well, that's not very responsible, is it?
- I know.
I think you have sixth nerve palsy
brought on by complications
from your diabetes.
That would explains the squint
and the twitch.
And your reaction to alcohol.
You must take more care of yourself,
Sophie.
- I didn't know you were diabetic.
- Nobody did.
It's not something
I choose to shout about.
It's been a rough few months.
Sorry, I'm being stupid.
No, no, not at all.
Louisa explained
your personal situation to me.
- I thought she was Laura.
- No, she's Louisa.
I'm actually, you know, I'm
actually in a really good place.
Not as good as Ben, obviously.
He's in Provence
with a woman who I considered to be
a really good friend of mine.
That hurt. That hurt a lot,
and nobody seemed to care.
- Sorry, you must think I'm being pathetic.
- No, not at all.
You should see your endocrinologist
as soon as possible.
I will, Martin. I'm so sorry. Thank you.
Must take better care of yourself,
Sophie.
- We'll organise a car to take you home.
- Thank you.
We should think about leaving, too,
or we'll miss that plane.
Of course.
May Judy and I have a word
with you in private, Martin?
- It won't take a moment.
- Er, yes.
Yeah.
I'm really sorry I tried to kiss Martin.
No, it's it's fine.
Well, it's not fine, but you know
I'm sure it's just because
of your medical condition.
Thank you.
I really haven't been myself recently.
- Maybe you should find someone to talk to.
- Oh, God.
I forgot you were a counsellor.
It's so good to be home.
I thought you liked London.
Well, I do. But look at all this.
It's not that bad either, is it?
No.
No.
- Hello?
- Doc.
- You're back early.
- No, we're exactly on time.
- Hello, James.
- Hello, Daddy. Hello, Mummy.
- We missed you so much.
- Why's he having an ice cream?
Oh, it's just a treat.
What happened to your eye, Doc?
Looks nasty, must have hurt.
Er, it's nothing.
What are you doing here?
Oh, I was just passing.
I'll be on my way in a bit.
What are you hiding
under that dishcloth?
Nothing. Why would I be hiding any
Doc, I'm sorry, I messed up.
No, she didn't. Janice did a great job,
she always does a great job.
But I messed up.
I accidentally broke your statue.
Well, what were you doing in the
consulting room? I left it locked.
I picked the lock.
The smoke alarm was malfunctioning,
it kept going off,
and Janice was worried.
And also, when I was fixing the statue,
I superglued my hand to it.
I'll get some acetone.
There weren't any problems
with the children, were there?
No, they were great.
They were as good as gold.
- Did Mary go down OK?
- Yeah, she's asleep.
- Did she finish her milk?
- All of it.
I'm really sorry about that, Doc.
I'll pay for the damage.
Well, that's not really fair.
It was all my fault.
I'll cover the costs.
Honestly, you can hardly see it,
it's really not a big deal.
- It could have been a lot worse.
- Yes, I suppose so.
What's the matter?
Tickles.
Joe, thanks for sticking up for me.
It's true, you are great.
I know you don't think so, but you are.
Come on, let's get fish and chips.
My treat.
- They asleep?
- Yes, finally.
When Professor Shukla
spoke to me before we left
Yeah, what was that about?
Well, you remember Judy Phillips
saying that she was retiring
- as Dean of the Faculty of Medicine?
- Yes.
Well, they've asked me to be
her replacement.
Well, that's nice.
Hold on.
Sorry, they've offered you the Deanship?
Hm. They were vetting candidates,
and it seems I was on the list.
But you're not looking for a job.
No, I wasn't. No.
So, you you've known this
all the way home?
- Why didn't you say anything?
- Hm.
I didn't know
if I was interested or not.
- And are you interested?
- I don't know.
Well, it's an honour to be asked, but
that would mean us
Yes.
Dean of Medicine's more
a clerical and administrative role.
I'd support whatever decision
we come to.
What's happened here, then?
Did you try and build yourselves
an indoor pool?
Another bottle?
- Is that wise, after the last time?
- Last time?
When he tried to kiss Louisa.
I'm sorry? He did what?
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