Friends s10e16 Episode Script

Alright, let's play one more time, okay? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
Okay.
Can't beIieve I'm risking this again, but you're on! Alright Joe, you remember the rules.
Heads I win, tales you lose.
Just flip! Dark tails! Damn it! Hey, so we thought we'd throw you a little going away party around 7.
Oh, that sounds good! Hey Rach, you're leaving tomorrow.
Shouldn't you be packing? It's all done! Oh yeah, right.
And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh, God! It hurts to even joke about it.
I know honey, seriously I did it all.
The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom.
This is Emma's Paris stuff, these are boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich I made for the plane Okay, so you've done some good work.
What about your carry-ons? Oh well, everything that I need is in here, and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! Where's your passport? It should be right next to my plane ticket.
- Well, it's not.
- What? Maybe I put it in here Oh, oh, it's not in there! Oh no I must have packed it in one of these boxes! Here, let me help you.
Shoot Oh, I can't believe I did this! At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport? Friends - Season 10, Episode 16 The One With Rachel's Going Away Party Powered by Alcor Adjusted by Madhero Oh, wow, can you believe you're really 3 weeks away? I know.
You don't mind me touching your belly, do you? No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand's kinda blocking the part where baby's gonna come out.
- Hey! - Hi.
- Hey Erica, welcome back to town! Wow, look how big you've gotten.
That's because I 'm pregnant! Right, no, I I understand.
Oh, okay! I'm just always afraid that people think I'm just fat with big breasts.
No, no, I knew.
Okay, well, stop staring at them! She brought them up! I didn't realize you were coming back so soon! Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel.
Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.
Hotel? Why isn't she staying with you guys? Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense.
Plus hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks.
Erica, those things aren't free.
In fact they have one of the highest markups in any consumer product Ross! She's giving us her baby.
She can eat you if she wants.
I'll be right back.
- Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
- Oh, I know, I know.
Hey, you know you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name! No no.
This will always be your place.
It would be too sad.
Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey? Yeah, it takes 2 incomes.
Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
Oh, no.
He doesn't have time for that.
But if you want you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Mhm, packing - sexy cheerleader comedy.
Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie.
What are you guys doing? Try it, I can't feel a thing! Are, are you kidding? This is packing? - We are taking a break! - From? Jumping on the bed? Alright, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do! Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you are in charge of these yahoos! - You got it! - Alright.
Alright, she's right.
We gotta get serious.
Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him! No, no, no, guys.
She's right.
We should get to work.
I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey, you pack 'em, and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
You guys hear a ringing? - What the hell is this? - Hey! Handcuffs! And fur line, nice! I didn't know you guys had it in ya! Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
I didn't know Monica had these! Mhm, maybe she used 'em with another boyfriend.
Maybe Richard! Why would she use them with Richard and not me? I can be kinky! I once did a naked danced for her with scarves! Bumming hard, guys, bumming hard.
- Hey! - Hey! Where is Mike? Oh, he has a gig.
I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know.
My husband has a gig.
Yeah? Where where is it? Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
Rock on! Wow, this is quite a spread! What is all this stuff? Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoked oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, where's Rach? Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second.
Now it just hit her that she's leaving and she's kind of emotional so no one say anything to set her off, okay?/Yeah.
- Hey, Rach, hey you.
- Here she is! HIi you guys! What did I just say? No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay.
I'm gonna be fine.
Come here, I'll make you a drink.
Oh, man! I can't believe she's actually leaving.
How am I gonna say goodbye to Rachel? I know, she's been such a big part of my life, and it feels like when "Melrose Place" got cancelled.
I meanOh, forget about it.
I miss "Melrose Place"! - You know, I had a chance to stop her too! - Yeah? Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? You know, heads she wins, tails I lose! Wait a minute Yes, Joe? I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning.
You doing okay? - Well, I've been better.
- Uh-hmm.
You guys are gonna come and visit me, right? Yes! You know, in 6 months the Statue of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again! - I'm gonna miss you so much! - I know.
You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here.
Come here.
Hey, what do you think they're doing in there? Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel's putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe's doing the punching.
Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
Okay well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get your "going away" presents, but I do have something for you.
Oh, oh.
What is it? Well, it's cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you're over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs! I I'm gonna throw this away, but thank you so much for the gesture! Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these on my pillow.
Oh, yes.
I decided to leave these out for you in case Richard stops by and you wanna engage a little light bondage and mustache play! What are you talking about? These aren't mine.
Oh yeah, right! Good luck getting another scarf dance from me! That would be a terrible punishment.
- But I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
- Really? Then what are they doing in our guest room? Rachel used to live in that room.
Rachel with handcuffs! Interesting! Joey's bare ass! Well Played.
- I love you Phoebe.
- I love you too.
Please, please don't don't turn into you know, French bitch! - Alright.
Well, if I gonna do this, I'd better keep going.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Monica? - Yeah? - Can you come here with me for a minute? - Sure.
- Are you wearing waterproof mascara? - No.
No, you're so screwed.
Hey, what's that all about? She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Are you kidding? Oh my God Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you God Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Oh, man, I'm not gonna be able to handle this.
Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year.
And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Mon Okay I've gotta just say what it is I'm gonna say None of the amazing things that happened to me in the last ten years,would've happened if it wasn't for you.
No one's been more like a sister to me.
I know what you mean.
You are like a sister to me too.
I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you - You're the best friend I ever had.
- (Says something that cannot be understood) What? I I I (again says something that cannot be understood) That is so sweet! Oh no, she took down Monica And I'm the cryer in the family.
Oh God! I could be next.
- Maybe she won't talk to me if it looks like we're deep in conversation.
- Okay.
Oh, so that thing you said about the thing.
It really made me think about that other thing.
- Uh, Rach? - Yah? Well it's okay.
Chandler's talking to her.
I really made you think about that thing uh? Uh, Rach I think I have something that belongs to you.
Oh, I'm sure gonna miss pretending to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get.
No, no, no They are really yours.
We found them in your old room.
Well, these aren't mine.
Maybe Monica used to use them with Don't say Richard! Well, if they are not Monica's and not yours, then whose are they? Well, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room.
Pheebs! Yeah! I think these are yours.
These are not mine Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a water pipe with these,they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
- Can I taIk to you alone for a minute? - Sure.
You don't really handcuff guys to water pipes, do you? Where do you think Mike really is? - Oh honey - Let me just say something Because once we get into this, I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke I just want to say that II love you.
And, I'm gonna miss you.
And I'm so sad that you're leaving.
Oh, you know what? Let's not say anything else.
I love you.
Ooh, not so tight - I'm sorry, just give me one more chance.
- Okay.
Oh I'm sor Just go.
Just go.
I can't, I can't.
So, I guess you are next.
You are ready? - I don't think so.
- Oh, you're definitely not.
I haven't cried like that in years.
You cried yesterday at the 6 o'clock news.
That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic.
God! I can't believe she saved me for last.
Why are they taking so long? - I dunno.
But, God, Joey seems to be handling it surprisingly well.
- No, no, no, no! Okay, here we go Oh Well Yeah I think I'm gonna to take off.
- Huh? - Oh, you guys.
This was an amazing night.
Thank you so much.
I love you.
Good night.
What? I don't get a goodbye?! Lucky bustard! Unbelievable! She says goodbye to everyone but me! Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history it could be, you know, implicit.
Well, it needs to be plicit.
Alright, let's think about this.
I mean, there's got to be an explanation.
Uh did you do anything to make her mad? No, I don't think so.
You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk.
It's pretty intense.
- Yeah.
Mine too.
- Mine was a humdinger.
Okay! I mean don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? NOT FROM YOU! Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
And say what? "You owe me a goodbye", I mean, he's got more pride than that.
THE HELL I DO! I don't get a goodbye? What? Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best firiends with you? Uh, go out with you? H.
.
have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things! Ross Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit.
Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to 5 people.
Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good (makes choking noises) It's physically impossible! You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us.
Have a, have a good time in Paris.
I hope Ross isn't too upset.
- I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
- Tell me about it.
Well, you can't say we don't know how to throw a party.
Alright, I think I'm gonna head out.
Uh, where do you think you're going? I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here? We are moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do.
It'd be great if you guys could pitch in.
Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea.
Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
You couldn't be cool.
Okay, We're gonna start in the kitchen.
Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box.
The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped.
- Got it? - Yeah.
Good.
Now I need you to be careful and efficient.
And remember, if I'm harsh with you, it is only because you're doing it wrong.
Hey Mon, I think I've figured out whose handcuffs they are.
You did? How? Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them being used.
Oh my God! Let me see.
Who's that dirty old lady? Monica's grandmother.
Nana liked it rough! Hi.
- Hey! - Come on here, have a seat.
How was your night? Oh, it was okay.
I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner.
We went to this place that had OohHoo ooh Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Erica, are you okay? Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much.
I keep getting these stomach aches.
They come and go like every few minutes.
- Oh my God! - Relax! We'll just get her some antacids.
She doesn't have a stomache ache.
She's in labor! - Oh my God! - Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Okay! Chandler, get the coats.
Erica let's go.
Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby.
Alright.
We're gonna have a baby! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down.
- Honey, it's gonna be okay.
- You can do this.
Just breathe.
Okay, okay Okay, I feel a little better.
- Ooh! Are you sure? - Oh Yes, I'm sure.
- Oh honey, let's go.
- Okay bye everyone.
- Chandler, wait, wait, wait - What? If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care? That's what it seemed like.
I cannot believe that after 10 years, you do not know ONE thing about me.
Fine, then why didn't you say something? Because it is too damn hard, Ross! I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you.
When I think about not seeing you everyday, it makes me not want to go Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong.
It's because you mean more to me.
So there, alright, there's your goodbye Oh! - Rach! - What? - You keep, you keep You can't - What? - A little more.
- Okay.
A little more, a little more.
Alright.
Okay, let's do this.
- Alright, ready? - Yeah.
Alright, now give me your best shot.
Alright, here it goes Doesn't work