Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s10e18 Episode Script
Eddie Waitkus
[WHlSPERS.]
She looks just like you.
[WHlSPERS.]
Really? I think she looks like Steve.
Yeah, you know what? So do l.
The way she cries when she doesn't get her way and enjoys breast-feeding.
[lN NORMAL VOlCE.]
I know this is embarrassing, but if you guys weren't here, I'd still be up there watching her sleep.
Oh, I want one.
Can you pick one up at the mall - or do you have to find Mr.
Right? DAVlD: Right.
Oh, that reminds me.
I know the perfect guy for you.
He's my printer and he's incredibly nice.
- A printer.
- Yes, and I owe him a dinner, so [SlGHS.]
Uh, thanks, but after what happened with my dad, I don't think I'm ready for a dating disaster yet.
We'll make it totally casual.
We'll have people over.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
Printer? - Hi.
JANET: Hey.
I gotta use your pinball machine, okay? - Uh, Noah, Maddy's asleep.
NOAH: All right, let's get this going.
[PlNBALL MACHlNG CLATTERlNG.]
You didn't drive here, did you? - Crank this baby up.
Come on.
- Noah.
Come on.
She said Maddy's sleeping.
- Look, I'll drive you home.
- I got it.
Noah, come on.
- I don't wanna go home.
DONNA: It's okay.
Donna, you don't need to deal with this right now, okay? I know.
Just-- Let's go.
It's okay.
- Okay? NOAH: Yeah.
HOST: Dick Clark was a DJ in this city when he took over a TV show that would soon become American Bandstand.
- That's Cleveland.
- Philadelphia.
- Philadelphia? HOST: Yes.
DYLAN : Heh.
WOMAN: On Air for 200.
HOST: Nicknamed the Moondog, this DJ is often credited with I know this.
It's, um-- - Give me a second.
It's, uh-- - Alan Freed.
MAN: Who is Alan Freed? - Yup.
It's Alan Freed.
That's it.
It's all right, Steve.
I'm sure you would have gotten one of them right, - sooner or later.
- Yeah, yeah.
REPORTER: What you're seeing is video shot just moments ago as LAX emergency personelle escorted the passengers to the terminal.
Here's how one woman described her ordeal.
- Hey, check this out.
REPORTER: In your own words, at what point did you realise the plane was in trouble? - Anybody get hurt? STEVE: I don't know.
They showed passengers getting off the plane.
One of them looked like your dad.
My dad's been dead for seven years.
I know that.
I'm just saying look.
REPORTER: I'm sure you're looking forward to getting home-- Not here.
There, there.
REPORTER: Some terrifying moments for these passengers aboard Flight 22 1 today as their plane bound from Phoenix to LAX experienced wheel gear trouble on the way to final approach.
Pilots call T ell me that guy's not an exact replica of your father.
--not gone on, indicating that the gear had not locked into place.
BOTH : Hi.
I know.
I couldn't look more corporate.
No, you look great.
You're gonna do great.
Ugh, my first day of work and I'm already dreading it.
- Well, just talk to Pia.
- Hmm, yeah.
She said that we would be working on a ballot initiative about gay rights clubs.
I just assumed that we'd be in favour of them.
I didn't think that we'd be trying to prohibit them.
She told me just enough to get me excited, but I guess that is what PR is all about.
They have plenty of accounts.
I'm sure Pia can just put you on one you believe in.
I guess.
Oh, um, David said he's been drinking for the past couple of weeks.
So I was just kind of the designated driver last night.
Donna, I don't know.
It's just he offered his help when my dad died and I just offered mine back.
I'm sure you're just being a friend.
But I just wanna make sure that you're not putting his needs in front of yours.
- I know.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Wish me luck.
- Good luck, heh.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES.]
I'm just saying it must've been a huge conspiracy.
Local cops, FBl.
You said your father blew up right in front of you.
Can you imagine planning a stunt like that? Steve, there was no stunt, all right? There certainly is no conspiracy.
My father's dead.
We're two guys standing at the airport in the afternoon, - because we got nothing better to do.
- Next, please.
- Hi.
- How can I help you, sir? I saw a report on the news last night about Flight 200.
The one that made that emergency landing.
And I saw-- I thought I saw a man by the name of Jack McKay.
Could you confirm that for me? I'm sorry, but I can't give out any passenger information.
Hey, I understand that's the rule, but the truth of the matter is it's this guy's father.
- He hasn't seen him in seven years.
- I wish I could help, but I can't.
If you can't help, what are you doing? I'll tell you what you do.
Push buttons.
Look on that screen.
Tell me if the guy on that plane is my dad or not.
I'm sorry, sir, but you're gonna have to step aside.
Next, please.
STEVE: Come on.
Come on.
- Pia, hi.
- Kelly, hi.
Sorry I haven't been by to welcome you aboard.
- Day from hell.
- That's okay.
I understand.
Um, I was hoping that we could talk later.
Mm, I have a teleconference at 2 and I'm overseeing a photo shoot at 3:30.
Maybe tomorrow.
Okay, people, we are officially screwing up.
Eli? With just three days to go before the election, polls show voters equally divided on the proposition.
We've been losing ground ever since the opponents started saying that the initiative was a violation of gay students' civil rights.
Isn't that what it is? I'd like you all to meet our new associate, Kelly Taylor.
She still believes in truth in advertising.
The head of the coalition sponsoring the initiative has a big speech planned for tomorrow night.
I've already cleared 75 press credentials.
- Do you have a copy of the speech? - I got the first draft this morning.
It's weak.
Needs a total rewrite.
Fine.
Kelly, I want a new draft by the end of the day.
- From me? - Do you have a problem with that? - No.
- Good.
PlA: Now, about the ad campaign.
Have all the buys been made? [DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES.]
[MADDY CRlES.]
- Hey, where is everybody? - Hey.
Uh, Janet is upstairs with Camille and Donna.
- They're talking about something.
- Hey, cutie pie.
Yeah.
[STEVE CLEARS THROAT.]
Did you hear about the plane that made an emergency landing at LAX? - No, why? - Dylan's father was on it.
I know it sounds crazy, but I saw him and so did Dylan.
Well, that's why I'm late.
I was getting Dylan news footage of the passengers.
You know how much this could mess him up? Look, I gotta put Maddy down.
[lNDlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG NEARBY.]
CAMlLLE: Shows what they know.
When Steve first gave me one, I couldn't believe how good it felt.
Although I have to admit it was a little smaller than I hoped for.
Kelly told me that Brandon tried to give her one once - and she wouldn't let him.
- The only ones I've ever had are fake.
- You've never had a real one? - Never.
It's too politically incorrect to ask a guy to give me one.
Well, you could save your breath with David, because trust me, he's never gonna give you one.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
[DOORBELL RlNGS.]
- Ooh! - Oh.
- Wait, can I just go out the back door? - Donna, no.
Just tell lrv I got sick or I was in a car accident or I moved to Namibia.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I wasn't listening in, just-- - Oh, to what? - Nothing.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're weird.
You're cute, but you're weird.
- Hey, lrv, come on in.
- Hi.
I hope I'm not late.
No, not at all.
Everyone just got here actually.
- Um, this is Camille.
BOTH: Hi.
- And this is Donna.
- Hi.
Hi.
You're very brave to be doing this.
Well, would you be insulted if I told you I tried to make a break for it? I circled the block three times and backed down the driveway.
DONNA: Heh.
- Shows what a fool I am.
- Let me get you a drink.
- Okay.
- Come with me.
- All right.
Do you think he wants two children or three? [CHUCKLES.]
So you submitted a story on UFO sightings for a Pulitzer Prize? - Yeah.
- Honey, we're trying to impress lrv.
We had very reliable sources for the story.
Oh, yeah? Do they have three or four eyes? [KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
- I got it.
CAMlLLE: Heh.
See, Janet's my real friend.
I just tolerate Steve.
- Thank you very much.
- Heh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you for the invite.
[WHlSPERS.]
I gotta tell you, I am starving.
Uh, Noah, this isn't really a good time for this.
Noah-- NOAH [lN NORMAL VOlCE.]
: Who we got here? Donna and, um, date? All right.
How you doing, Mr.
Date? Hi.
[WHlSPERS.]
Did you have a good time tonight? Yeah, I did.
I did too.
I had a really good time.
But see, Noah's an-- He's a good friend.
And as you can see, he's going through a really hard time right now-- Hey, hey.
It's not polite to whisper at the table.
- Can I call you later? - I'd like that.
[lRV CLEARS THROAT.]
STEVE: Good night.
- Thanks.
No, I can see myself out.
- Uh, dinner was great.
Thanks.
CAMlLLE: Bye.
[SlGHS.]
You son of a bitch.
- Phew! - Oh.
- Hey.
- Okay.
Here's the situation.
Camille and l, we're gonna get together tonight.
We're gonna have a little dinner, some drinks, you know.
Hopefully one thing will lead to another.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Steve.
- What? Got that stupid grin on your face.
What? Oh, sorry.
I've had sex twice in the last five months and each time it has involved lactation.
So give me a break, okay? Weren't you on your way to meet Dylan? - You were saying? - There's a problem.
- Problem? - Problem? Apparently-- And I have this on good authority.
--Camille can't be satisfied.
Hmm.
You know this in advance? Which means if she says she's been satisfied, you know she's lying.
Which means she probably fakes it really, really well.
This raises interesting performance issues.
Resulting in your sudden quest for knowledge, no doubt.
- Which we will happy impart.
- Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
What? You've got the stupid grin on your face again.
- What? - Do you want advice or not? - Hmm.
- Yes.
- Read the speech.
- And? It was flat, boring and completely unconvincing.
You framed it as a sexuality issue.
- That's what it is, isn't it? - That's your opinion.
Which you're entitled to, but not hired to give.
You were hired, the company was hired, to sell a ballot initiative.
And the best way to do that is by convincing people that this is a bunch of radicals.
You know, a fringe group wanting to impose itself upon the mainstream.
Fringe group? Today a gay club, tomorrow one for Nazis.
Is that it? We were contracted to sell something, not to judge something.
Do you understand the difference? - Of course I do.
- Good.
- Now redo the speech.
- Ugh.
You got one hour.
[SCOFFS.]
You're saying the tapes were conclusive.
No, conclusive would be Jack standing in front of me, telling me what the hell is going on.
But it did raise questions.
What exactly do you store here, Dylan? My dad's papers, stuff.
Hopefully the name of his contact at the FBl, Christine something-or-other.
So that's what we're looking for? After he died, she said he was involved in one of their investigations.
Into wise guys like Tony Marchett.
She also said she loved my dad.
These people are unbelievable.
Heh, she claims an affair to prove her loss.
And they planned a huge explosion to throw off the mob.
It's so sick, twisted and brilliant.
Yeah, and it cost me my father and my wife.
DYLAN: Whoa! What's up? Wow! Well, what do you suppose they didn't want you to find, Dylan? Her last name.
But it's Christine something-or-other.
It's gotta be written down somewhere.
[YAWNS.]
- Oh, thanks.
- Mm-hm.
So we didn't get a chance to tell you last night, but yesterday Camille and l became partners.
- Really? That's great.
- Yeah.
She gets a small stake in the store.
And I get someone that's creative and fun and willing to take on part of the responsibility.
By the way, what is happening with her and David? Because last night I actually caught them nuzzling.
Nuzzling? Oh, pfft! You have no idea.
I'm working the late shift tonight so the two lovebirds can celebrate their two-week anniversary.
- How disgusting is that? - Very.
Considering the highlight of my evening will consist of Steve rubbing lotion on my belly in the increasingly slim hope that my stretch marks will go away.
[CHUCKLES.]
But enough about you.
Um, ahem, so, what did lrv say? Well, lrv was very sweet and much more understanding than I would be.
You told him there's nothing between me and Noah, we're just friends? Yeah, I really wanted to, but the word co-dependent just slipped out.
- It didn't? - I'm kidding.
Oh, heh.
No, you and lrv will be fine.
He'll call you.
You'll date.
You'll meet his mom, - trade casserole recipes, the works.
- Heh.
But I'm really more concerned with you and Noah.
There's no me and Noah.
I'm just helping a friend who's had a terrible trauma.
Why does everyone think that's such a crime? Because he needs professional help, Donna.
And that's why he's recommitted to going to AA.
Look, I'm not gonna turn my back on him now.
And I would appreciate it if everyone would stop asking me to.
[DYLAN CLEARS THROAT.]
I'm here to see Christine Pettit.
- Do you have an appointment? - No, I don't.
I'm, sorry, heh, but you can't just walk in here.
You tell her Jack McKay's son is here.
Yeah, Jack McKay's son is here to see you.
That's what he said.
Agent Pettit will be right out.
Yeah.
CHRlSTlNE: Hello, Dylan.
He's alive, isn't he? Why don't you come in? Your father died seven years ago, Dylan.
And then showed up on the news a couple of nights ago.
That was a pretty good trick.
Here you go.
It's all cued up and ready.
Is that how you reward the good guys? Fake their death, take them away from their families.
Nothing was faked.
You know, I went to look through his things this morning.
The, uh, storage facility had been burglarised.
Of course you probably know all about that.
No, I don't know anything about it at all.
But I'll look into it.
[SCOFFS.]
- You said you loved my dad.
- I did.
And if he were alive, I'd still be with him.
But he's not.
[SlGHS.]
And life goes on.
[JAZZ PlANO PLAYlNG ON STEREO.]
This is really nice.
Yeah, it is.
Dinner was amazing.
As long as we don't burn the house down, I guess it'll be a perfect evening, right? Can I make a confession? [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Okay.
- Heh, burn yourself? My expectations for tonight were incredibly low.
- They were? - Mm-hm.
Donna told me you're a terrible cook.
[CHUCKLES.]
And that's what your expectations were low about, my cooking? Yeah.
Should they be low about something else? No, not unless Donna said there's something else I couldn't do.
No.
I assume you're great at everything.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
[CHUCKLES.]
Which is why my expectations for the rest of the night are incredibly high.
Are they? - Am I the master or am I the master? - I'm not telling.
What do you mean? Come on.
I need to live vicariously through your thrills.
Okay.
Fine, Steve.
I was great, all right? Great? Great! Come on, I need more than that.
Give me a testimonial - if you use my technique.
- Camille enjoyed herself.
Enjoyed herself.
Enjoyed herself! Come on.
Come on.
Several times.
- Several times! - Shh! - Several is more than three.
- I know.
- Is that three and a half--? - I know what several means.
Hand me a napkin, would you? You're telling me she went from zero to 60 in one test drive? Yes.
Fine.
Great was an understatement.
Come on.
Uh-huh.
[CHUCKLES.]
What? Well, it's just that she told you that she's faked it with every other guy she's been with, but she didn't fake it with you.
What I'm telling you, Steve, is that the earth moved.
Ooh! I bet it did on your side of the bed.
KELLY: Hi.
Can I get a coffee to go, please? David, Steve.
Hey, Kel, is it true you're working on an initiative about gay clubs - in public high schools? - Unfortunately yes.
Janet saw this speech on the news last night given by some guy who is in favour of this initiative and it really changed her mind.
The guy was reading a speech that I wrote.
Really? Well, congratulations.
You changed one vote.
Thanks for coming back down, Dylan.
My pleasure.
What'd you find out? Well, I contacted the airlines, got the passenger list.
His name wasn't on it.
Jack McKay wouldn't be on it.
What about his new name? You do give him a new name with the new life, don't you? As for the storage facility, a break-in occurred there three weeks ago.
Several lockers were ransacked.
As the report indicates, a guy by the name of Edgar Ramirez was caught and prosecuted for the crime.
He's doing 1 8 months.
The police tried contacting you, but they were unsuccessful.
- Is that it? - Nothing else.
You know, ever since I saw that story on the news, I've been trying to put together the moments before the explosion.
And you know what I came up with? I never actually saw my dad get in that car.
After the explosion, I never saw a body.
There was no open casket.
No dental records.
Nothing.
And there's nothing now.
Look, Dylan, I've gone the extra yard for you here out of respect for you and affection for your father.
You may not be able to appreciate this, but doing that has opened up some emotional wounds for me as well.
Yeah, you're breaking my heart.
And I found nothing.
And neither will you.
So stop looking.
I like it.
Do you think it's too, you know, bubbly? It is bubbly.
But lrv is a bubbly guy, so DAVlD: Hey.
You, uh, know where Camille is? That's a really nice dress.
No, she went to lunch.
You really like it? Yeah, it's, um-- I don't know, it's kind of bubbly, you know? That's it.
So you and Camille.
We want details.
Camille didn't say anything? DONNA: The word incredible was mentioned.
Incredible, really? Well, that's not too bad for a guy who couldn't give her the one thing she'd never had.
- Now, is it? - What's that? The thing.
Janet, the thing.
The one you guys were talking about in your bedroom.
Camille said she'd only had fake ones.
You said Steve had only given you small ones.
Donna said that Camille didn't stand a chance of getting one from me at all.
- You remember that thing? - We were talking about furs.
- Furs? JANET: Yeah.
Steve had given me a small fur.
And Camille had only had fake furs.
Up until last night anyway, apparently.
[PHONE RlNGS.]
[PHONE BEEPS.]
NOAH [OVER MACHlNE.]
: Hello.
Donna? JANET: No.
- No, don't pick up the phone, okay? NOAH: Hello? Ugh, look, it's Noah calling.
You want to do something tonight, give me a call.
Okay? Bye.
Okay, that was cruel.
Am I the only one that thinks he's using trauma to keep you in his life? Thank you.
Look what you just went through.
You haven't reached out to him.
That's because I have friends.
Obviously he doesn't.
[ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG ON STEREO.]
I'm David Silver and you're listening to KVlB.
And I'll be back in a minute with tonight's topic, which is the dumbest assumptions you've ever made about your significant other.
So please, don't go anywhere.
- Please.
- Oh, boy.
So are you bored yet? Bored? Are you kidding me? I can't wait to hear the insane stories people come up with.
You know, I know this guy who, uh, thought he overheard his girlfriend talking about the fact that she had never, uh-- You know, that she faked it in bed.
- lsn't that what she was talking about? - No.
But he didn't realise that until after he prepared this candlelit dinner in his living room, which went really well.
Left him feeling like bit of a champ, if you know what I mean.
Until he realised that the only thing fake in his girlfriend's life was her fur coat.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
So, heh, you thought that l-- You needed a little extra attention, yeah, which I was more than happy to give, until Donna told me what the conversation was about.
Wait.
You talked about this with Donna? Only after Steve got me thinking that maybe you had enhanced your performance a little bit, you know.
You talked to Steve Sanders about whether or not I faked an orgasm? Uh, can we talk more about this during the next break? No! No, I don't think so.
We're back with bonehead assumptions.
And you know what I'd like to get started with? This classic: Telling the truth is a good thing.
Here's a nice hint about being completely honest with your lover: Wait until it becomes necessary.
If it doesn't come up, don't bring it up.
Silence is golden.
- Did you ever do something like that? - Like what? What David's asking about assumptions.
- Did you ever make the wrong ones? - I've had boyfriends lie to me, boyfriends cheat on me.
[SlGHS.]
I guess the better question would be if I ever make the right ones.
Are you okay? Yeah.
I'm fine.
It's okay if you're not.
Heh, it's so crazy.
You're this nice guy and you were so great about the other night and I want you to know that I went through eight dresses before I decided tonight.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- I'm sure you look terrific in every one.
- See, that's what I mean.
I should be happy here with you.
- But - But, heh I feel like I belong somewhere else.
See, Noah, he works here and I don't see him and I've been looking for him.
Not because I want to be with him, but because I'm worried about him.
- And you hate me now, don't you? - No, not at all.
I just made the wrong assumption about you that you were available.
I'm sorry.
I really am.
[CAR APPROACHlNG.]
Hi.
Steve said you had quite a mess.
I thought maybe you could use some help.
Well, that's the bad memory pile.
That's the good memory pile.
It's not too much of a pile, is it? Have you heard anything else? The guy on the news was a lookalike.
Some genetic freak of nature.
The break-in was totally unrelated.
Just two random acts designed to kick me in the ass.
Some good could come of this.
Don't start with me about closure.
All right.
How about reflection? Sizing up what's been going on in your life for the past seven years.
Nothing.
I know.
Ugh, the older I get, the worse I feel.
So when I reflect on it and I size it up, the more miserable and twisted it becomes.
I miss my dad.
So it sounds like Dylan is in a pretty bad place right now.
Yeah, he is.
I hope you don't think that I'm reaching out to him at our expense.
No, I don't.
But I appreciate your saying so.
How did you get to be such an understanding guy? Well, you said yes when I asked you to marry me.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know, I actually changed the way Janet is voting.
Well, I'm not surprised.
- You are articulate, persuasive.
- Hmm.
I'm articulately persuading people to do the wrong thing.
Listen.
This job, whatever its shortcomings, is gonna challenge you.
It'll demand you to be creative.
That's a good thing.
I want to quit so bad.
And if you do, I'm gonna support you.
But I think you should stay.
Even if I'm asked to compromise everything I believe in? Kelly, life is about compromise.
You may not like it, but there's no sin in it.
Twenty-first century and we still vote in someone's garage.
- Heh.
- You gotta love that.
Come on.
- All right, so you talked to Camille? - Yes.
- And? - And I told her the assumption you made about her sexuality was so cosmically stupid that it was physically impossible not to talk about.
- That's good.
What did she say? - No, no, no.
I'm not helping you after the advice you've been giving.
- What advice? About Noah? - That I should ignore him.
You didn't go there last night, did you? He was sober, if that's what you're wondering.
- What about lrv? - lrv was a nice guy.
- What do you mean was? - I felt an obligation.
An obligation to what, Donna? To make yourself miserable? Don't you understand what's happening? The more you pass up for Noah, the more he'll want.
Because the truth is, Donna, what he really wants is you.
- That's absurd.
- Yeah? How many times - did he call this morning? - What? How many times? - Four.
- Four.
- Yeah.
- Well, you already lost one nice guy.
I'm just curious how many more you have to lose before you realise this is nuts.
Good news.
Exit polling shows the initiative is pulling into the lead.
I don't think that's very good news.
I know.
You oppose the initiative personally.
That only underscores how bright your future is.
Why is that, because I can sell something I don't believe in? Being a good publicist means being able to put your own feelings aside.
You proved you could do that.
You know, I'm getting married.
Someday I'll have a kid.
And, uh, he could be gay.
Like one out of every three gay teenagers, he could maybe try to commit suicide, because he feels lonely and isolated and on the fringe.
Or we could promote groups and clubs that would make him feel safe, secure and like he's part of something good.
I believe we should do that.
You have no argument with me.
No, I think I do.
Because you can do a job like this.
I can't.
I quit.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
BOTH: Hi.
[SlGHS.]
- Oh, that's unbelievable.
- Hmm.
Listen, um, do you want to go and get dinner? Because we could go to that really stinky pastrami place that you like.
I want you to get rid of that.
The company that I used to work for did PR for the airline this guy was on.
Before I quit, I called them and I got a copy of the passenger list.
We both know that that's not your dad on this tape.
And we both know it's not a good idea to keep looking for something you're never gonna find.
But Steve told me about the runaround that you've been getting, so I know I shouldn't be doing this, but there you go.
- You say you quit? - It's for the best.
But Matt says that big decisions like that usually are.
Yeah, well, Matt's an optimist.
Uh It's probably good you hang out with guys like that.
Sure you won't rethink dinner? Yeah.
Okay.
Kelly.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
- Hey.
- Can I come in? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Um, I hope you got my messages.
I think I left you, I don't know, somewhere around six.
Yes, I did.
I'm really sorry.
I shouldn't have talked to people.
I know you've got a lot of friends.
But I'm a private person.
- I hope you can respect that.
- I know.
I mean, I'm a private person, too, you know.
It's just l I just got really nervous about my performance, you know.
I felt like I needed to be spectacular.
Well, now is a good time for you to say, "Oh, but David, you were spectacular.
' Am I grading on a curve? Ow! How about you let me be the judge of your performance from now on? Heh, well, that would be a good idea, assuming there is another performance.
I mean, I was kind of feeling like maybe after the last one, you, uh-- Can I take your coat? Thought you'd never ask.
It's fake.
But trust me, nothing else will be tonight.
[CREAKlNG.]
Matt, I heard something.
- What? - I think someone's on the deck.
It's just the wind, Kelly.
[CREAKlNG.]
- I'm gonna call 91 1.
- All right.
Ahem.
- There's someone outside.
- All right.
- Stay here.
I'll check it out.
KELLY: Okay.
Yes, uh, we have an intruder.
[MAN GRUNTS.]
- Matt, are you okay? - Get the lights.
Don't! MATT: Oh, my God, it's Noah.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
It's open.
Ugh, Maddy woke me up.
I couldn't fall back to sleep, so I figured I'd come check in on you.
Little midnight snack? Yeah, I thought.
I, uh, couldn't eat it.
I was talking to Donna.
She looks up a couple times a day, thinks she sees her dad.
She knows he's gone, but she's haunted by him.
Is that what you think I am, Steve, haunted? What about your big conspiracy theory, huh? I shouldn't have talked like that, Dylan, if it raised up your hopes.
I'm sorry.
On the day my dad died, he, uh, reminded me that he used to sing me to sleep when I was a little kid with that song, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
' Even got me to sing it with him before the big wow finish.
I had forgotten how much we connected through baseball.
[SlGHS.]
We used to play catch all the time.
We'd go to games and, um, we'd read stories about it, our favourite being The Natural.
Oh, yeah, I saw the movie with Robert Redford.
The story of a young man, full of promise, who gets shot by a woman, disappears and then suddenly returns.
Did I mention I got the passenger list? No.
How'd you get that? Airline's a client of Kelly's or something.
Anyway, that book is loosely based on a true story about a guy who played for Philadelphia in the 1 940s.
Yeah, Roy Hobbs.
Forget about the story.
What about the list? When the team was in a Chicago hotel, he went to this woman's room.
She shot him.
He battled for his life for a long time before coming back to play the following season.
Is your father on the list or not? In the book, the guy's name was Roy Hobbs.
But in real life, his name was Eddie Waitkus.
That's Waitkus, with a W.
- You think this is your father? - I know it is.
She looks just like you.
[WHlSPERS.]
Really? I think she looks like Steve.
Yeah, you know what? So do l.
The way she cries when she doesn't get her way and enjoys breast-feeding.
[lN NORMAL VOlCE.]
I know this is embarrassing, but if you guys weren't here, I'd still be up there watching her sleep.
Oh, I want one.
Can you pick one up at the mall - or do you have to find Mr.
Right? DAVlD: Right.
Oh, that reminds me.
I know the perfect guy for you.
He's my printer and he's incredibly nice.
- A printer.
- Yes, and I owe him a dinner, so [SlGHS.]
Uh, thanks, but after what happened with my dad, I don't think I'm ready for a dating disaster yet.
We'll make it totally casual.
We'll have people over.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
Printer? - Hi.
JANET: Hey.
I gotta use your pinball machine, okay? - Uh, Noah, Maddy's asleep.
NOAH: All right, let's get this going.
[PlNBALL MACHlNG CLATTERlNG.]
You didn't drive here, did you? - Crank this baby up.
Come on.
- Noah.
Come on.
She said Maddy's sleeping.
- Look, I'll drive you home.
- I got it.
Noah, come on.
- I don't wanna go home.
DONNA: It's okay.
Donna, you don't need to deal with this right now, okay? I know.
Just-- Let's go.
It's okay.
- Okay? NOAH: Yeah.
HOST: Dick Clark was a DJ in this city when he took over a TV show that would soon become American Bandstand.
- That's Cleveland.
- Philadelphia.
- Philadelphia? HOST: Yes.
DYLAN : Heh.
WOMAN: On Air for 200.
HOST: Nicknamed the Moondog, this DJ is often credited with I know this.
It's, um-- - Give me a second.
It's, uh-- - Alan Freed.
MAN: Who is Alan Freed? - Yup.
It's Alan Freed.
That's it.
It's all right, Steve.
I'm sure you would have gotten one of them right, - sooner or later.
- Yeah, yeah.
REPORTER: What you're seeing is video shot just moments ago as LAX emergency personelle escorted the passengers to the terminal.
Here's how one woman described her ordeal.
- Hey, check this out.
REPORTER: In your own words, at what point did you realise the plane was in trouble? - Anybody get hurt? STEVE: I don't know.
They showed passengers getting off the plane.
One of them looked like your dad.
My dad's been dead for seven years.
I know that.
I'm just saying look.
REPORTER: I'm sure you're looking forward to getting home-- Not here.
There, there.
REPORTER: Some terrifying moments for these passengers aboard Flight 22 1 today as their plane bound from Phoenix to LAX experienced wheel gear trouble on the way to final approach.
Pilots call T ell me that guy's not an exact replica of your father.
--not gone on, indicating that the gear had not locked into place.
BOTH : Hi.
I know.
I couldn't look more corporate.
No, you look great.
You're gonna do great.
Ugh, my first day of work and I'm already dreading it.
- Well, just talk to Pia.
- Hmm, yeah.
She said that we would be working on a ballot initiative about gay rights clubs.
I just assumed that we'd be in favour of them.
I didn't think that we'd be trying to prohibit them.
She told me just enough to get me excited, but I guess that is what PR is all about.
They have plenty of accounts.
I'm sure Pia can just put you on one you believe in.
I guess.
Oh, um, David said he's been drinking for the past couple of weeks.
So I was just kind of the designated driver last night.
Donna, I don't know.
It's just he offered his help when my dad died and I just offered mine back.
I'm sure you're just being a friend.
But I just wanna make sure that you're not putting his needs in front of yours.
- I know.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Wish me luck.
- Good luck, heh.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES.]
I'm just saying it must've been a huge conspiracy.
Local cops, FBl.
You said your father blew up right in front of you.
Can you imagine planning a stunt like that? Steve, there was no stunt, all right? There certainly is no conspiracy.
My father's dead.
We're two guys standing at the airport in the afternoon, - because we got nothing better to do.
- Next, please.
- Hi.
- How can I help you, sir? I saw a report on the news last night about Flight 200.
The one that made that emergency landing.
And I saw-- I thought I saw a man by the name of Jack McKay.
Could you confirm that for me? I'm sorry, but I can't give out any passenger information.
Hey, I understand that's the rule, but the truth of the matter is it's this guy's father.
- He hasn't seen him in seven years.
- I wish I could help, but I can't.
If you can't help, what are you doing? I'll tell you what you do.
Push buttons.
Look on that screen.
Tell me if the guy on that plane is my dad or not.
I'm sorry, sir, but you're gonna have to step aside.
Next, please.
STEVE: Come on.
Come on.
- Pia, hi.
- Kelly, hi.
Sorry I haven't been by to welcome you aboard.
- Day from hell.
- That's okay.
I understand.
Um, I was hoping that we could talk later.
Mm, I have a teleconference at 2 and I'm overseeing a photo shoot at 3:30.
Maybe tomorrow.
Okay, people, we are officially screwing up.
Eli? With just three days to go before the election, polls show voters equally divided on the proposition.
We've been losing ground ever since the opponents started saying that the initiative was a violation of gay students' civil rights.
Isn't that what it is? I'd like you all to meet our new associate, Kelly Taylor.
She still believes in truth in advertising.
The head of the coalition sponsoring the initiative has a big speech planned for tomorrow night.
I've already cleared 75 press credentials.
- Do you have a copy of the speech? - I got the first draft this morning.
It's weak.
Needs a total rewrite.
Fine.
Kelly, I want a new draft by the end of the day.
- From me? - Do you have a problem with that? - No.
- Good.
PlA: Now, about the ad campaign.
Have all the buys been made? [DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES.]
[MADDY CRlES.]
- Hey, where is everybody? - Hey.
Uh, Janet is upstairs with Camille and Donna.
- They're talking about something.
- Hey, cutie pie.
Yeah.
[STEVE CLEARS THROAT.]
Did you hear about the plane that made an emergency landing at LAX? - No, why? - Dylan's father was on it.
I know it sounds crazy, but I saw him and so did Dylan.
Well, that's why I'm late.
I was getting Dylan news footage of the passengers.
You know how much this could mess him up? Look, I gotta put Maddy down.
[lNDlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG NEARBY.]
CAMlLLE: Shows what they know.
When Steve first gave me one, I couldn't believe how good it felt.
Although I have to admit it was a little smaller than I hoped for.
Kelly told me that Brandon tried to give her one once - and she wouldn't let him.
- The only ones I've ever had are fake.
- You've never had a real one? - Never.
It's too politically incorrect to ask a guy to give me one.
Well, you could save your breath with David, because trust me, he's never gonna give you one.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
[DOORBELL RlNGS.]
- Ooh! - Oh.
- Wait, can I just go out the back door? - Donna, no.
Just tell lrv I got sick or I was in a car accident or I moved to Namibia.
- Hello.
- Hi.
I wasn't listening in, just-- - Oh, to what? - Nothing.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're weird.
You're cute, but you're weird.
- Hey, lrv, come on in.
- Hi.
I hope I'm not late.
No, not at all.
Everyone just got here actually.
- Um, this is Camille.
BOTH: Hi.
- And this is Donna.
- Hi.
Hi.
You're very brave to be doing this.
Well, would you be insulted if I told you I tried to make a break for it? I circled the block three times and backed down the driveway.
DONNA: Heh.
- Shows what a fool I am.
- Let me get you a drink.
- Okay.
- Come with me.
- All right.
Do you think he wants two children or three? [CHUCKLES.]
So you submitted a story on UFO sightings for a Pulitzer Prize? - Yeah.
- Honey, we're trying to impress lrv.
We had very reliable sources for the story.
Oh, yeah? Do they have three or four eyes? [KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
- I got it.
CAMlLLE: Heh.
See, Janet's my real friend.
I just tolerate Steve.
- Thank you very much.
- Heh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you for the invite.
[WHlSPERS.]
I gotta tell you, I am starving.
Uh, Noah, this isn't really a good time for this.
Noah-- NOAH [lN NORMAL VOlCE.]
: Who we got here? Donna and, um, date? All right.
How you doing, Mr.
Date? Hi.
[WHlSPERS.]
Did you have a good time tonight? Yeah, I did.
I did too.
I had a really good time.
But see, Noah's an-- He's a good friend.
And as you can see, he's going through a really hard time right now-- Hey, hey.
It's not polite to whisper at the table.
- Can I call you later? - I'd like that.
[lRV CLEARS THROAT.]
STEVE: Good night.
- Thanks.
No, I can see myself out.
- Uh, dinner was great.
Thanks.
CAMlLLE: Bye.
[SlGHS.]
You son of a bitch.
- Phew! - Oh.
- Hey.
- Okay.
Here's the situation.
Camille and l, we're gonna get together tonight.
We're gonna have a little dinner, some drinks, you know.
Hopefully one thing will lead to another.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Steve.
- What? Got that stupid grin on your face.
What? Oh, sorry.
I've had sex twice in the last five months and each time it has involved lactation.
So give me a break, okay? Weren't you on your way to meet Dylan? - You were saying? - There's a problem.
- Problem? - Problem? Apparently-- And I have this on good authority.
--Camille can't be satisfied.
Hmm.
You know this in advance? Which means if she says she's been satisfied, you know she's lying.
Which means she probably fakes it really, really well.
This raises interesting performance issues.
Resulting in your sudden quest for knowledge, no doubt.
- Which we will happy impart.
- Thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
What? You've got the stupid grin on your face again.
- What? - Do you want advice or not? - Hmm.
- Yes.
- Read the speech.
- And? It was flat, boring and completely unconvincing.
You framed it as a sexuality issue.
- That's what it is, isn't it? - That's your opinion.
Which you're entitled to, but not hired to give.
You were hired, the company was hired, to sell a ballot initiative.
And the best way to do that is by convincing people that this is a bunch of radicals.
You know, a fringe group wanting to impose itself upon the mainstream.
Fringe group? Today a gay club, tomorrow one for Nazis.
Is that it? We were contracted to sell something, not to judge something.
Do you understand the difference? - Of course I do.
- Good.
- Now redo the speech.
- Ugh.
You got one hour.
[SCOFFS.]
You're saying the tapes were conclusive.
No, conclusive would be Jack standing in front of me, telling me what the hell is going on.
But it did raise questions.
What exactly do you store here, Dylan? My dad's papers, stuff.
Hopefully the name of his contact at the FBl, Christine something-or-other.
So that's what we're looking for? After he died, she said he was involved in one of their investigations.
Into wise guys like Tony Marchett.
She also said she loved my dad.
These people are unbelievable.
Heh, she claims an affair to prove her loss.
And they planned a huge explosion to throw off the mob.
It's so sick, twisted and brilliant.
Yeah, and it cost me my father and my wife.
DYLAN: Whoa! What's up? Wow! Well, what do you suppose they didn't want you to find, Dylan? Her last name.
But it's Christine something-or-other.
It's gotta be written down somewhere.
[YAWNS.]
- Oh, thanks.
- Mm-hm.
So we didn't get a chance to tell you last night, but yesterday Camille and l became partners.
- Really? That's great.
- Yeah.
She gets a small stake in the store.
And I get someone that's creative and fun and willing to take on part of the responsibility.
By the way, what is happening with her and David? Because last night I actually caught them nuzzling.
Nuzzling? Oh, pfft! You have no idea.
I'm working the late shift tonight so the two lovebirds can celebrate their two-week anniversary.
- How disgusting is that? - Very.
Considering the highlight of my evening will consist of Steve rubbing lotion on my belly in the increasingly slim hope that my stretch marks will go away.
[CHUCKLES.]
But enough about you.
Um, ahem, so, what did lrv say? Well, lrv was very sweet and much more understanding than I would be.
You told him there's nothing between me and Noah, we're just friends? Yeah, I really wanted to, but the word co-dependent just slipped out.
- It didn't? - I'm kidding.
Oh, heh.
No, you and lrv will be fine.
He'll call you.
You'll date.
You'll meet his mom, - trade casserole recipes, the works.
- Heh.
But I'm really more concerned with you and Noah.
There's no me and Noah.
I'm just helping a friend who's had a terrible trauma.
Why does everyone think that's such a crime? Because he needs professional help, Donna.
And that's why he's recommitted to going to AA.
Look, I'm not gonna turn my back on him now.
And I would appreciate it if everyone would stop asking me to.
[DYLAN CLEARS THROAT.]
I'm here to see Christine Pettit.
- Do you have an appointment? - No, I don't.
I'm, sorry, heh, but you can't just walk in here.
You tell her Jack McKay's son is here.
Yeah, Jack McKay's son is here to see you.
That's what he said.
Agent Pettit will be right out.
Yeah.
CHRlSTlNE: Hello, Dylan.
He's alive, isn't he? Why don't you come in? Your father died seven years ago, Dylan.
And then showed up on the news a couple of nights ago.
That was a pretty good trick.
Here you go.
It's all cued up and ready.
Is that how you reward the good guys? Fake their death, take them away from their families.
Nothing was faked.
You know, I went to look through his things this morning.
The, uh, storage facility had been burglarised.
Of course you probably know all about that.
No, I don't know anything about it at all.
But I'll look into it.
[SCOFFS.]
- You said you loved my dad.
- I did.
And if he were alive, I'd still be with him.
But he's not.
[SlGHS.]
And life goes on.
[JAZZ PlANO PLAYlNG ON STEREO.]
This is really nice.
Yeah, it is.
Dinner was amazing.
As long as we don't burn the house down, I guess it'll be a perfect evening, right? Can I make a confession? [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Okay.
- Heh, burn yourself? My expectations for tonight were incredibly low.
- They were? - Mm-hm.
Donna told me you're a terrible cook.
[CHUCKLES.]
And that's what your expectations were low about, my cooking? Yeah.
Should they be low about something else? No, not unless Donna said there's something else I couldn't do.
No.
I assume you're great at everything.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
[CHUCKLES.]
Which is why my expectations for the rest of the night are incredibly high.
Are they? - Am I the master or am I the master? - I'm not telling.
What do you mean? Come on.
I need to live vicariously through your thrills.
Okay.
Fine, Steve.
I was great, all right? Great? Great! Come on, I need more than that.
Give me a testimonial - if you use my technique.
- Camille enjoyed herself.
Enjoyed herself.
Enjoyed herself! Come on.
Come on.
Several times.
- Several times! - Shh! - Several is more than three.
- I know.
- Is that three and a half--? - I know what several means.
Hand me a napkin, would you? You're telling me she went from zero to 60 in one test drive? Yes.
Fine.
Great was an understatement.
Come on.
Uh-huh.
[CHUCKLES.]
What? Well, it's just that she told you that she's faked it with every other guy she's been with, but she didn't fake it with you.
What I'm telling you, Steve, is that the earth moved.
Ooh! I bet it did on your side of the bed.
KELLY: Hi.
Can I get a coffee to go, please? David, Steve.
Hey, Kel, is it true you're working on an initiative about gay clubs - in public high schools? - Unfortunately yes.
Janet saw this speech on the news last night given by some guy who is in favour of this initiative and it really changed her mind.
The guy was reading a speech that I wrote.
Really? Well, congratulations.
You changed one vote.
Thanks for coming back down, Dylan.
My pleasure.
What'd you find out? Well, I contacted the airlines, got the passenger list.
His name wasn't on it.
Jack McKay wouldn't be on it.
What about his new name? You do give him a new name with the new life, don't you? As for the storage facility, a break-in occurred there three weeks ago.
Several lockers were ransacked.
As the report indicates, a guy by the name of Edgar Ramirez was caught and prosecuted for the crime.
He's doing 1 8 months.
The police tried contacting you, but they were unsuccessful.
- Is that it? - Nothing else.
You know, ever since I saw that story on the news, I've been trying to put together the moments before the explosion.
And you know what I came up with? I never actually saw my dad get in that car.
After the explosion, I never saw a body.
There was no open casket.
No dental records.
Nothing.
And there's nothing now.
Look, Dylan, I've gone the extra yard for you here out of respect for you and affection for your father.
You may not be able to appreciate this, but doing that has opened up some emotional wounds for me as well.
Yeah, you're breaking my heart.
And I found nothing.
And neither will you.
So stop looking.
I like it.
Do you think it's too, you know, bubbly? It is bubbly.
But lrv is a bubbly guy, so DAVlD: Hey.
You, uh, know where Camille is? That's a really nice dress.
No, she went to lunch.
You really like it? Yeah, it's, um-- I don't know, it's kind of bubbly, you know? That's it.
So you and Camille.
We want details.
Camille didn't say anything? DONNA: The word incredible was mentioned.
Incredible, really? Well, that's not too bad for a guy who couldn't give her the one thing she'd never had.
- Now, is it? - What's that? The thing.
Janet, the thing.
The one you guys were talking about in your bedroom.
Camille said she'd only had fake ones.
You said Steve had only given you small ones.
Donna said that Camille didn't stand a chance of getting one from me at all.
- You remember that thing? - We were talking about furs.
- Furs? JANET: Yeah.
Steve had given me a small fur.
And Camille had only had fake furs.
Up until last night anyway, apparently.
[PHONE RlNGS.]
[PHONE BEEPS.]
NOAH [OVER MACHlNE.]
: Hello.
Donna? JANET: No.
- No, don't pick up the phone, okay? NOAH: Hello? Ugh, look, it's Noah calling.
You want to do something tonight, give me a call.
Okay? Bye.
Okay, that was cruel.
Am I the only one that thinks he's using trauma to keep you in his life? Thank you.
Look what you just went through.
You haven't reached out to him.
That's because I have friends.
Obviously he doesn't.
[ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG ON STEREO.]
I'm David Silver and you're listening to KVlB.
And I'll be back in a minute with tonight's topic, which is the dumbest assumptions you've ever made about your significant other.
So please, don't go anywhere.
- Please.
- Oh, boy.
So are you bored yet? Bored? Are you kidding me? I can't wait to hear the insane stories people come up with.
You know, I know this guy who, uh, thought he overheard his girlfriend talking about the fact that she had never, uh-- You know, that she faked it in bed.
- lsn't that what she was talking about? - No.
But he didn't realise that until after he prepared this candlelit dinner in his living room, which went really well.
Left him feeling like bit of a champ, if you know what I mean.
Until he realised that the only thing fake in his girlfriend's life was her fur coat.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
So, heh, you thought that l-- You needed a little extra attention, yeah, which I was more than happy to give, until Donna told me what the conversation was about.
Wait.
You talked about this with Donna? Only after Steve got me thinking that maybe you had enhanced your performance a little bit, you know.
You talked to Steve Sanders about whether or not I faked an orgasm? Uh, can we talk more about this during the next break? No! No, I don't think so.
We're back with bonehead assumptions.
And you know what I'd like to get started with? This classic: Telling the truth is a good thing.
Here's a nice hint about being completely honest with your lover: Wait until it becomes necessary.
If it doesn't come up, don't bring it up.
Silence is golden.
- Did you ever do something like that? - Like what? What David's asking about assumptions.
- Did you ever make the wrong ones? - I've had boyfriends lie to me, boyfriends cheat on me.
[SlGHS.]
I guess the better question would be if I ever make the right ones.
Are you okay? Yeah.
I'm fine.
It's okay if you're not.
Heh, it's so crazy.
You're this nice guy and you were so great about the other night and I want you to know that I went through eight dresses before I decided tonight.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- I'm sure you look terrific in every one.
- See, that's what I mean.
I should be happy here with you.
- But - But, heh I feel like I belong somewhere else.
See, Noah, he works here and I don't see him and I've been looking for him.
Not because I want to be with him, but because I'm worried about him.
- And you hate me now, don't you? - No, not at all.
I just made the wrong assumption about you that you were available.
I'm sorry.
I really am.
[CAR APPROACHlNG.]
Hi.
Steve said you had quite a mess.
I thought maybe you could use some help.
Well, that's the bad memory pile.
That's the good memory pile.
It's not too much of a pile, is it? Have you heard anything else? The guy on the news was a lookalike.
Some genetic freak of nature.
The break-in was totally unrelated.
Just two random acts designed to kick me in the ass.
Some good could come of this.
Don't start with me about closure.
All right.
How about reflection? Sizing up what's been going on in your life for the past seven years.
Nothing.
I know.
Ugh, the older I get, the worse I feel.
So when I reflect on it and I size it up, the more miserable and twisted it becomes.
I miss my dad.
So it sounds like Dylan is in a pretty bad place right now.
Yeah, he is.
I hope you don't think that I'm reaching out to him at our expense.
No, I don't.
But I appreciate your saying so.
How did you get to be such an understanding guy? Well, you said yes when I asked you to marry me.
[CHUCKLES.]
You know, I actually changed the way Janet is voting.
Well, I'm not surprised.
- You are articulate, persuasive.
- Hmm.
I'm articulately persuading people to do the wrong thing.
Listen.
This job, whatever its shortcomings, is gonna challenge you.
It'll demand you to be creative.
That's a good thing.
I want to quit so bad.
And if you do, I'm gonna support you.
But I think you should stay.
Even if I'm asked to compromise everything I believe in? Kelly, life is about compromise.
You may not like it, but there's no sin in it.
Twenty-first century and we still vote in someone's garage.
- Heh.
- You gotta love that.
Come on.
- All right, so you talked to Camille? - Yes.
- And? - And I told her the assumption you made about her sexuality was so cosmically stupid that it was physically impossible not to talk about.
- That's good.
What did she say? - No, no, no.
I'm not helping you after the advice you've been giving.
- What advice? About Noah? - That I should ignore him.
You didn't go there last night, did you? He was sober, if that's what you're wondering.
- What about lrv? - lrv was a nice guy.
- What do you mean was? - I felt an obligation.
An obligation to what, Donna? To make yourself miserable? Don't you understand what's happening? The more you pass up for Noah, the more he'll want.
Because the truth is, Donna, what he really wants is you.
- That's absurd.
- Yeah? How many times - did he call this morning? - What? How many times? - Four.
- Four.
- Yeah.
- Well, you already lost one nice guy.
I'm just curious how many more you have to lose before you realise this is nuts.
Good news.
Exit polling shows the initiative is pulling into the lead.
I don't think that's very good news.
I know.
You oppose the initiative personally.
That only underscores how bright your future is.
Why is that, because I can sell something I don't believe in? Being a good publicist means being able to put your own feelings aside.
You proved you could do that.
You know, I'm getting married.
Someday I'll have a kid.
And, uh, he could be gay.
Like one out of every three gay teenagers, he could maybe try to commit suicide, because he feels lonely and isolated and on the fringe.
Or we could promote groups and clubs that would make him feel safe, secure and like he's part of something good.
I believe we should do that.
You have no argument with me.
No, I think I do.
Because you can do a job like this.
I can't.
I quit.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
BOTH: Hi.
[SlGHS.]
- Oh, that's unbelievable.
- Hmm.
Listen, um, do you want to go and get dinner? Because we could go to that really stinky pastrami place that you like.
I want you to get rid of that.
The company that I used to work for did PR for the airline this guy was on.
Before I quit, I called them and I got a copy of the passenger list.
We both know that that's not your dad on this tape.
And we both know it's not a good idea to keep looking for something you're never gonna find.
But Steve told me about the runaround that you've been getting, so I know I shouldn't be doing this, but there you go.
- You say you quit? - It's for the best.
But Matt says that big decisions like that usually are.
Yeah, well, Matt's an optimist.
Uh It's probably good you hang out with guys like that.
Sure you won't rethink dinner? Yeah.
Okay.
Kelly.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
- Hey.
- Can I come in? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Um, I hope you got my messages.
I think I left you, I don't know, somewhere around six.
Yes, I did.
I'm really sorry.
I shouldn't have talked to people.
I know you've got a lot of friends.
But I'm a private person.
- I hope you can respect that.
- I know.
I mean, I'm a private person, too, you know.
It's just l I just got really nervous about my performance, you know.
I felt like I needed to be spectacular.
Well, now is a good time for you to say, "Oh, but David, you were spectacular.
' Am I grading on a curve? Ow! How about you let me be the judge of your performance from now on? Heh, well, that would be a good idea, assuming there is another performance.
I mean, I was kind of feeling like maybe after the last one, you, uh-- Can I take your coat? Thought you'd never ask.
It's fake.
But trust me, nothing else will be tonight.
[CREAKlNG.]
Matt, I heard something.
- What? - I think someone's on the deck.
It's just the wind, Kelly.
[CREAKlNG.]
- I'm gonna call 91 1.
- All right.
Ahem.
- There's someone outside.
- All right.
- Stay here.
I'll check it out.
KELLY: Okay.
Yes, uh, we have an intruder.
[MAN GRUNTS.]
- Matt, are you okay? - Get the lights.
Don't! MATT: Oh, my God, it's Noah.
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR.]
It's open.
Ugh, Maddy woke me up.
I couldn't fall back to sleep, so I figured I'd come check in on you.
Little midnight snack? Yeah, I thought.
I, uh, couldn't eat it.
I was talking to Donna.
She looks up a couple times a day, thinks she sees her dad.
She knows he's gone, but she's haunted by him.
Is that what you think I am, Steve, haunted? What about your big conspiracy theory, huh? I shouldn't have talked like that, Dylan, if it raised up your hopes.
I'm sorry.
On the day my dad died, he, uh, reminded me that he used to sing me to sleep when I was a little kid with that song, "Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
' Even got me to sing it with him before the big wow finish.
I had forgotten how much we connected through baseball.
[SlGHS.]
We used to play catch all the time.
We'd go to games and, um, we'd read stories about it, our favourite being The Natural.
Oh, yeah, I saw the movie with Robert Redford.
The story of a young man, full of promise, who gets shot by a woman, disappears and then suddenly returns.
Did I mention I got the passenger list? No.
How'd you get that? Airline's a client of Kelly's or something.
Anyway, that book is loosely based on a true story about a guy who played for Philadelphia in the 1 940s.
Yeah, Roy Hobbs.
Forget about the story.
What about the list? When the team was in a Chicago hotel, he went to this woman's room.
She shot him.
He battled for his life for a long time before coming back to play the following season.
Is your father on the list or not? In the book, the guy's name was Roy Hobbs.
But in real life, his name was Eddie Waitkus.
That's Waitkus, with a W.
- You think this is your father? - I know it is.