Murphy Brown s11e05 Episode Script

1 He's still not answering his phone.
Miles.
Text me as soon as his car pulls into the lot, key the elevator to run as an express.
- Miles! - Thanks, Julius.
Has anybody seen Frank? Miles.
You promised me an assistant today.
I'm breaking a huge story, and I need help.
I've got bigger fish to fry.
We're on in two minutes, and no sign of Frank! I have a major whistle-blower about to blow his whistle on our show, and I need someone on my desk! Here's a little newsflash for you, Murphy.
The head of HR hates you.
She doesn't hate me.
She calls you "Eva Brown.
" You go through assistants faster than dairy goes through me.
Corky.
You're gonna take Frank's lead-in.
This is so not like Frank.
He's never late.
Places, people.
We're going on without Frank.
Frank! I left you six messages! Where the hell have you been? And I left you six messages.
Long story Mugger, old lady, he's in custody.
Thank God I was there.
You spent the night with a woman, didn't you, Frank? - Who told you? - Nobody.
You're wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
I recognize the hummus stain on your tie.
Going live, people! Boy, Frank, you'd think things would be slowing down in the old testosterone plant by now.
I'm Italian.
It's the last part of us to go.
And it's none of your business.
All I'll say is, it was a fantastic night.
Really special.
Stop smiling, Frank.
Focus, people! - You might as well tell me who it is - Five, four - and spare yourself the aggravation - three, two of my wheedling and digging Hello, and welcome to "Murphy in the Morning," with my co-anchors, Corky Sherwood and Frank Fontana.
What do you say we just jump right in? While the President is determined to build a border wall, he's ignoring real invaders.
We're talking about deadly viruses that threaten our health.
There has been a resurgence of dengue fever and yellow fever, which are spread by mosquitoes and can cause bleeding, kidney damage ahem And liver failure, leading to an extremely painful death.
Well, we're going to take a quick break here, and when we come back, Frank is going to interview first responder Michael Gray Who will tell us how he survived the delirium, bleeding, and diarrhea of dengue fever.
So, that's our show for today.
We'll see you right back here tomorrow morning.
Have a good one.
And we're clear.
All right, you grinning idiot, who's this mystery woman? It's not good to keep secrets, Frank.
My neighbor growing up, Walter Bodine, thought he was good at keeping secrets.
He wasn't.
You can't hide your wife's body parts in a hayloft and not expect barn cats to play with her femur.
People, enough about Frank and this woman.
Murphy has a massive story in the works, and the clock is ticking.
It's a major new development.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh! - I've finally gotten - Shh! - I finally got - Mm! I finally got my whistle-blower to agree to appear on the show.
His name is Hector Gomez, and it's a name that will go down in history.
You're going to bring Addison Pharmaceuticals - to its knees! - They have it coming.
Flooding the market with a synthetic opioid and raking in billions.
And Hector Gomez has the e-mails and voice messages to prove it.
We fly Hector in tonight.
We have him on the air in the morning.
Hold on.
Legal still has to do a major vetting.
I've done my own immaculate vetting.
We have to move quickly on this, or somebody else is going to.
Well, that should do it.
Found these in the paper tray.
They look pretty important.
They're mine.
This is what I'm talking about! We can't risk this leaking out.
Let me talk to legal, see how fast they can give us the all clear.
In the meantime, not a word of this to anybody.
- Here comes Pat.
- Back.
Back.
Don't say anything to him either.
He's new here.
Once he's earned our trust, he's in.
Hi there.
Whatcha all talkin' about? - Oh.
Whatever.
- Nothing much.
I bet it's about the big drug story, huh? How do you know about that?! Sometimes, just to keep my skills sharp, I hack into your computers.
Frank, you have a lot less money in your Bank of America account than I would have expected.
Don't worry.
I stepped up security on all your e-mails, so you're safe.
Welcome aboard, Pat, and enter into the circle of trust.
Cool.
Also, I come bearing gifts.
Murphy, I looked into your record with assistants, and Did you know that some of them formed a support group and at the end of every session, they pummel a Murphy Brown piñata with broomsticks? Anyway, I developed an algorithm that uses non-binary criteria and advanced analytics to find you the perfect assistant.
I never know what this kid is saying.
All you need to know is that I found you the perfect assistant.
She is tireless, speaks many languages, has worldwide connections, and you never have to tell her the same thing twice.
Meet VAL.
It's a Thermos.
No, VAL.
It stands for Voice-Activated Little I don't actually know what the "L" stands for.
Anyway, this is not your basic, off-the-shelf artificial intelligence.
This is a next-generation, cutting-edge piece of tech not even on the market yet.
Watch this.
VAL, how many times during his administration has Trump lied? President Trump has made false or misleading statements 5,247 times.
Correction 5,248.
Correction Apologies.
He is currently at a rally.
You hear that? Next generation.
A.
I.
monitoring in real time! Ah.
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Murphy, put the toy down.
We can't lose our focus on this opioid story.
One slip of the tongue on Hector Gomez, and we send this exclusive into the waiting arms of the Wolf Network.
Meeting adjourned.
Hey, speak English, Pedro! You're in America now.
Thank you, sir, but I'm quite aware I'm in America.
Washington, D.
C.
, to be exact.
Founded in the Compromise of 1790 by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and Thomas Jefferson, since made famous in the song "The Room Where It Happens", from the 2016 Tony Award-winning musical "Hamilton".
I can sing it for you if you'd like.
You think that's funny? One call, and I could have you deported.
It's time to take America back.
My America.
Hey, pal, when you're in this bar, you're in my America.
And if you can't behave yourself, I'll deport your ass right out that door.
I'm finding another bar.
It's too brown in here.
What did I do to him? Okay, Frank, I-I just want to know why you're not gonna give me the name of this woman you're so infatuated with.
It's not an infatuation.
It's the real deal.
And I'm not telling you who she is because with all the women in my past, you want to meet them, and when you meet them, you scare them, and when they're scared, they ask me to choose, and when I choose, I choose you, and, oh, my God, you're my mother.
Hey, guys.
Hey, Mom.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
So, listen to this.
Something interesting happened at Wolf this morning.
I was doing my show from a supermarket in Alexandria, and we were talking about the high cost of food when my producer tells me to be ready to extend my show into the 9:00 a.
m.
hour.
That's Christy Shepherd's show.
Seems she was late to the set.
Finally showed up In the exact same outfit as yesterday.
- I knew you were hiding something.
- You slept with Christy Shepherd.
How did you get there so fast? Why'd you do it, Frank? Was Ann Coulter busy shedding her skin last night? Wow! You slept with Christy Shepherd? What was that like? I'm guessing a lot of instruction.
Now I'm getting a terrible mind picture Rumpled sheets, a wet towel, last night's room service rotting in the corner, fruit flies hatching out of the strawberry plate Well, just stop it.
As I was saying, yes, she's a conservative, but it's not like her views are extreme.
And when did we start living in a country where people are judged because of different viewpoints? Where have you been the last 500 days? Return her, Frank.
Return her to the Wolf Network now.
If she gets wind of our monster story, it's all over.
And I'll get "the call.
" Forcing me onto a scary flight to headquarters, where I'll get yelled at by our board of directors.
Seven cossacks in Hugo Boss suits.
Um what monster story? Ooooh, something's up.
What is it? Come on.
You can tell me.
No.
There's no monster story.
Miles is exaggerating.
Don't you have homework to do? Well, I could just get up and leave, but I have got a lot of my mother in me, so I'm just gonna sit right here and watch you all twist.
Well, okay, I mean, there's no point in trying to hide it from him.
We had an anonymous source who sent us something.
It's a tape.
A tape that a lot of people think actually exists.
The pee tape?! - Keep it to yourself.
- Shh! Shh! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Shh! Shh! - Shh! - Oh, my God! Have you seen it? - Have you seen it? - Shut Where is it? It's hidden away, safe and sound, where even you, my little bloodhound, couldn't find it.
Oh, I could find it.
I mean, if I wanted to, I-I-I could find it.
And you know what? I just I just remembered.
I've got an appointment with my editor.
But way to go, guys.
Congrats! Remember, mum's the word! Uh, oh, yeah, yeah.
Well played, Murphy.
Well, I've been lying to him since he was born.
I know what I'm doing.
Uh, Frank, I'm not finished with this Christy thing.
Let's go.
So, you're getting serious with a woman who's the exact opposite of you, because of, I'm guessing at your age, three glorious minutes? It was 16.
I checked my Fitbit.
16 minutes? Frank, we're not counting the drive over.
Would you just stop it? Please.
All right, look, I've been seeing Christy for a while now.
But last night was our first night together.
And I'm telling you, it was magical.
It's like she gets me on so many levels.
Maybe it was because of how we met Actually 15 years ago.
I'm your best friend.
Why don't I know this? Christy and I were both in Fallujah, covering the Marine offensive on the insurgency.
A bunch of us reporters, we were under fire.
And, uh, you know how things are in a situation like that You get close to people really fast.
And then it was over.
Everybody made a break for it, and that was that.
But, Frank, you must have been watching as her star rose and she landed on Wolf.
Yeah.
But I didn't have the guts to reach out.
Maybe I just wasn't ready yet.
But a few weeks ago, I bumped into her at a conference on the environment.
What was she doing there clubbing seals? After we finished arguing about the pros and cons of regulations, we went off and got a drink, and it was like no time had passed.
I wasn't about to let that slip away again.
God, Frank, with my big story about to come out, the timing just couldn't be worse.
I-I mean, when it comes to women, you tend to lose touch with the part of your brain that controls speech and judgment.
You know, while we're on the subject, I'm not the only one with a Wolf anchor in my life.
Are you talking about Avery? My son? Your godson? He is not the enemy, Frank.
No, but he's not Switzerland, either.
I mean, I've seen the way you do your stories.
You've got notes all over your desk, on the front seat of your car, your living-room floor.
How easy would it be for Avery to just find something lying around? You have just crossed the line, Frank.
So, that's our show for today.
And, remember, election day is approaching.
So whether you're Democrat, Independent, or one of the three Republicans who watch us, make sure your voice is heard.
And we're out.
Good show, everyone.
By the way, how was I? "You were great, Julius.
Thank you.
" See how easy that was? Guys.
Big news.
I just got word from legal.
They put a full team on the drug story.
Murphy, we are cleared.
We are breaking this story live tomorrow morning.
- Oh, my God.
- Yes! So get your whistle-blower on the next available flight.
That's not gonna be necessary.
What? No! Christy Shepherd scooped us?! VAL, turn up the sound.
Here's a playlist from the musical group Turn Up the Sound.
No.
Turn up! The turnip is a root vegetable commonly grown in temperate climates.
I have it handled.
You're hopeless.
and yet Addison Pharmaceutical knowingly flooded the market with highly addictive opioids with the sole intention of hooking patients.
How do we know this? Because one brave man, Mr.
Hector Gomez, came forward with confidential e-mails and voice recordings - that paint a devastating picture - Hector, you Judas! of corporate greed and corruption.
What did they bribe you with?! I took you to Black Angus 11 times! When did I know every whisper in this town ends up on the Op-Ed page of The New York Times.
But how did this happen to us?! How do you think? Someone leaked it to the Wolf Network! What are you looking at me for?! Because you slept with that she-Wolf! You know what? She lives with a he-Wolf! Well, it wasn't Avery or I.
I locked my files in my office.
And I changed the password on my laptop.
Now I can't even remember it! Hold on.
Let's not snipe at each other.
Yes, this is very painful.
But we have to move on.
Oh, we'll move on.
But let me tell you people something.
This is not your mother's news business anymore.
This is cable.
It's rough out there.
We have to plug that leak.
You're all on notice.
I'm watching you.
Welcome to Trump International Hotel, where we always aim to be best.
Free Wi-Fi, no cyberbullying.
- I scooped you.
- Don't kill me.
Christy.
What the hell? That was my team's story.
I'm sorry, but it fell into my lap, and I had to go with it.
Am I allowed to sit down? Well, you invited me here, and I showed up, so I guess so.
And of all the places to meet the Trump Hotel? The Wolf Network gets a 60% discount here.
Of course it does.
I'm glad you came.
Christy, I need to ask you something.
Did I tip you off to our story? Maybe say something in my sleep? I've been known to do that.
Damn.
You figured out my plan.
Sit in bed with a pad and a pencil and wait till story gold pours out of your mouth.
Come on.
We're in a relationship.
You think I would use you to steal a story? You hesitated.
Really? Would you use me? This is complicated.
That's not the answer I was looking for.
If this is gonna work out between us, there has to be some trust.
So, where do we go from here? Nobody has ever looked at me the way you do.
Kind of the way Pence looks at Trump.
- I booked a room here.
- You did? Luxury suite, chocolates and champagne, Pratesi sheets Wow.
That sounds fantastic.
And I'll tell you all about it the next time I see you.
Once you've worked out your issues.
And, no, you're not the leaker.
- Looking for something? - Oh! For Godssakes! You know, you've been sneaking up on me since I was a kid.
I should tie a bell around your neck.
You've been looking for this pee tape for two days.
And now you're reduced to digging up the garden.
Yes, yes, I am.
Because you have a history of hiding things out there.
I do not.
Then what is this? How could you tell a 5-year-old that Barney went out for a walk and never came back?! I couldn't stand his grating voice singing anymore about how to tie your shoe.
I tried to set him on fire, but he wouldn't burn.
Stupid child-safety laws.
By the way, I-I don't have that tape.
The only tape I have is a tape that I made when you were 2 years old and you used the potty for the first time like a big boy.
Oh, God, I got to get my own place.
And, Avery, uh, there's something that I have to ask you.
Um, I had a a big story that was supposed to break today, and it was scooped by your network.
Did you possibly inadvertently find some of my notes lying around and accidentally give them to someone at Wolf? You can't be serious.
Do you honestly believe that I would steal your story and hand it to someone else? - Well, I - Something that big I'd cover myself.
Yeah.
That's my boy.
Listen, all right? For however long we are living together, obviously we've got to set some ground rules.
When we're at work, we go at it full throttle.
But once we come home, we leave it at the door.
Because I love you and you love me.
We're a happy family.
Come on.
We can do this.
We can come up with a story just as powerful as the one we lost.
We're all professionals able to rebound and go back on the attack.
Like a king cobra.
Wshhhh! Look, it's really hard to put something hot on the table when we still haven't nailed the leaker.
Yeah, Frank.
I told you It wasn't me! You know what? I-It's probably my fault.
That story was my responsibility.
And in my push to get it on the air, I probably let some information slip.
And I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry I suspected Avery.
Sometimes, when the stakes are this high, you you just get a little crazy.
Okay, stop.
I have a confession to make.
I'm the leaker, okay? What do you mean? I lost my phone the other day.
It was practically a roadmap to the story.
Somebody must've used it against us.
That's the real reason that I didn't get your calls when you were late the other day, Frank.
It was me.
Miles, I reprogrammed your car's voice command, even though it's not my job.
No more German.
Also found this under your seat.
My phone! It wasn't me.
- I love you, Pat! - Boundaries, Miles.
This is so frustrating.
Whoever it was got away scot-free and is probably gonna hit us again.
We are gonna find this leaker if it's the last thing we do.
Come on.
Let's go to Phil's.
Lunch is on me.
VAL, send the transcript of my meeting with my secret source at the Ethics Committee to legal.
And while you're at it, find the leaker That wolf in sheep's clothing.
Conversation recorded.
Sending transcript of meeting to Wolf with a list of cheap clothing.