Supernatural s11e13 Episode Script
Love Hurts
1 - It's Halloween, man.
- For us, every day is Halloween.
Sam: Samhain is the damn origin of Halloween.
Celts believed that October 31st was the one night of the year when the veil was thinnest between the living and the dead.
- We should have one this year.
- Have one what? A Christmas! We'll get a tree, a little Boston Market.
Just like when we were little.
It's Valentine's day, your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it? "Unattached Drifter Christmas"? Your people called him Cupid.
He's actually a lower order of angel.
Technically, it's a cherub, third class.
Yes, yes, yes! Is this a fight? Are we in a fight? This is their handshake.
- What was that? - The future.
Amara: We're bonded.
You're the one who set me free.
No, that was an accident.
You and I will be together.
No, that's -- that's not gonna happen.
We will become one.
Why wouldn't you want that? Heartbreak you always know it when you get it Heartbreak Always take another one with it Here, honey.
Let me.
Thanks, babe.
As handsome as the day I met you.
[ Both chuckle .]
'Cause my heart is breaking in two [ Doorbell rings .]
Doesn't Staci know to knock? She'll wake Teagan! Heartbreak Sorry.
I remembered after I rang.
So, where's Melissa? She's getting ready.
Eww, I can taste her mom lipstick.
[ Scoffs .]
You're telling her tonight, right? It's Valentine's day.
So? So, that's heartless.
Can't we talk about this later? I'm tired of waiting.
I-I told you it's not that simple.
Mel and I, we've been together since we were your age.
We -- we have a house, a baby.
We have a whole life together.
Dan, don't you get it? That's what I want.
Either tell her tonight, or -- or what? [ Footsteps approaching .]
Melissa, you look so pretty! I love your lipstick.
Thanks.
You ready? Mm-hmm.
Man #1: True love, all right? So everyone just, uh, go back to your sloppy tots.
Man #2: Is he gone? Like, gone, gone? Man #3: True love can get us out of here? Yeah.
[ Indistinct conversations .]
H-hey, listen.
Yeah, I've been in love a million times.
Listen.
Man #4: Oh, it's beautiful, Mike.
It really -- boom, boom! This bramble Grey tea is simply divine, Cindy.
Um I would like to apologize for being so insensitive to your grieving emotional state.
Beautiful artwork, by the way.
Rick: You say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door.
I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed.
Morty: Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that! Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.
It hits hard, Morty, then it slow fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage.
I did it.
Your parents are gonna do it.
Break the cycle, Morty.
[ Screams .]
[ Sighs .]
You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing here? [ Chuckles .]
Jerry: Check on your mom.
Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? Mm.
That feels good.
I'm almost finished mang my ionic defibulizer, Morty.
It's gonna be great.
Hey, listen, Rick.
You know Supernatural 11x13 Love Hurts @elderman - Morning.
- Mm.
[ Coughs .]
[ Sniffs .]
Is that a hickey? And? It was Valentine's day.
Wow.
Can't help it if I'm a hopeless romantic.
You got half of that right.
[ Clears throat .]
- Just doing my civic duty.
- [ Chuckles .]
Helping all the single ladies.
You know the best thing about February 14th? You don't have to be Mr.
Right -- just Mr.
Right Now.
That's classy.
Yeah? What'd you do, judgy? Curl up in your snuggie? Watch "50 Shades" on cable? Yeah.
No.
[ Slurping .]
Check this out.
Staci Altman, 19-year-old babysitter from Hudson, Ohio, was murdered last night.
Well, that blows.
But if her name's not Amara, how is that us? Because her heart was ripped out.
- On Valentine's day? - Yeah.
Mm.
Was it, like, an ironic werewolf? All right, we'll check it out.
But, first, I need bacon.
No, first, you need a shower.
- Is it -- - Yeah.
[ Sniffs .]
You're not wrong.
[ Scoffs .]
Dan: It's like we told the cops.
Staci came over around 6:00.
We went to dinner, and by the time we got home We, uh -- we found Staci in the living room in a pool blood and Teagan, in her crib, hysterical.
It was awful.
Can you think of any reason why somebody would want to hurt Staci? No.
Staci was super-sweet and popular and pretty.
Anyone who met her fell in love with her.
Well, maybe it was a crime of passion.
Uh, did Staci have any crazy ex-boyfriends? No.
N-not that I know of.
[ Sniffles .]
Honey? W-why would I have any idea? Was anything stolen? Any chance this may have been a robbery gone wrong? I don't think so.
I mean, nothing was missing except for the nanny cam in the living room.
Thank you for your time.
Give us a call if something comes up.
Melissa: Okay, thank you.
Is it just me, or is that guy acting a bit hinky? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
Let's split up.
You drop me at the morgue, and you can hit Dan at the office.
Yeah, and maybe he'll be a little bit more open without wifey around.
[ Scoffs .]
Yeah.
Based on the autopsy, the Vic was conscious when her heart was ripped out.
[ Scoffs .]
Wouldn't want a front-row seat to that show.
Any ideas what could have done this? Typically? I'd assume animal attack.
- In a house? - Exactly.
Plus, no claw marks.
I'll be honest with you, Agent.
Been doing this for some 20-odd years, and I'm stumped.
All right.
[ Clears throat .]
[ Camera shutter clicks .]
Thanks.
Someone's here to see you, Mr.
Harper.
FBI -- an Agent Weller? Send him in, please.
Please.
Have a seat, agent.
What can I help you with? I need you be straight with me, Dan.
I'm not sure what you mean, Agent.
Oh, I think you do.
I think you're hiding something.
And you didn't want to talk about it in front of your wife.
You're schtupping the babysitter.
[ Laughs .]
Excuse me? Oh, don't act all fake offended.
I'm actually trying to help you out here, okay? Now, personally, I don't a give rat's ass who you screw.
But I would just hate for your, uh, extracurricular activities to get you involved in a federal murder investigation.
Or I could just go talk to your wife.
[ Telephone ringing in distance .]
I want to be straight with you, Agent.
I really do, but I can't.
Sure you can.
No, really, I mean, this is just too damn weird.
You -- you'd never believe me.
Try me.
[ Drawer opens .]
Let me guess -- the missing nanny cam? I was having an affair with Staci.
I only took the nanny cam because she kissed me in front of it.
I forgot the damn thing was there.
Anyway, I was gonna erase it as soon as we got home.
[ Sighs .]
But then we found Staci's body.
Melissa went upstairs to the baby, and I -- Ran for the cam? I know it was a dick move, but I also know the cam must have recorded the murder.
As soon as I erased the kiss, I was gonna turn it over to the cops.
I swear.
Until I saw what was on it.
I know that's me, but I swear it wasn't me.
I would never hurt Staci.
I loved her.
I was at a dinner the entire time.
If you don't believe me, ask Melissa or the waiter.
Or any of the 75 other people that were there.
You got to believe me.
Relax.
I do.
You do? I need you to sit tight.
Keep a lid on this for the time being, okay? [ Door opens .]
Yo.
Hey.
Find anything? Uh, yeah -- Jack.
Absolutely nothing points to a werewolf.
Well [Clears throat.]
Step aside, Urkel.
It was Dan that stole the nanny cam.
Why? He was schtupping the sitter.
Hmm.
Wait a second.
I thought Dan was at dinner with Melissa.
That's not Dan.
[ Scoffs .]
[ Sighs .]
A shapeshifter.
Yahtzee.
It is okay if I head out? Yeah.
Are you okay, Mr.
Harper? I'm happy to stay if you need me.
Or maybe you should go home.
Be with your family.
I'll be okay, Gladys.
You have a good night.
Okay.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Excuse me.
[ Door closes .]
Did you forget something? Staci? Uh-huh.
What the hell is going on? I want you to give me your heart.
You're dead.
This -- this is impossible.
[ Gasps .]
I saw your -- your heart ripped out of your chest! Shh.
Please.
What are you doing? What do you want? [ Groans .]
[ Camera shutterttlicks .]
Dean: You were the last person to see your boss alive.
Did you notice anything unusual? Uh Nothing unusual, per Se.
Just kind of rude.
This young girl -- brunette, buxom, couldn't have been more than 19 -- barreled out of the elevator as I was leaving.
Nearly knocked me over.
Is this her? Yeah, that's the girl.
Thank you for your time, ma'am.
[ Camera shutter clicks .]
Well, it confirms we're dealing with a shifter.
Yeah, who's upping its game by impersonating dead people.
I'm guessing it's the wife.
Yeah.
[ Camera shutter clicks .]
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I just can't -- I just can't believe it.
I mean -- how is this even possible? That's what we're trying to figure out.
Where's the baby? Uh She's -- she's with my mom.
[ Clears throat .]
I hate to have to ask this, but I-I need to ask you a difficult question.
Okay.
Were you aware that your husband was having an affair with your babysitter? [ Sighs .]
Yes.
I knew.
I know what you're thinking -- jealous wife kills her cheating husband.
But that couldn't be further from the truth.
I loved Dan.
I still do.
It may sound pathetic, but I thought we still had a chance.
Well, thank you for your time.
We'll leave you alone, let you get some rest.
Before we go, would you mind just writing down a phone number where we can get ahold of you in case we have any more questions? Yeah, sure.
[ Both sigh .]
And if anything strange or out of the ordinary comes up, don't hesitate to call.
We're staying at the motel on Main Street.
Thanks.
All right, so Melissa's not the shifter.
We are back to square zilch.
I need a beer.
Regroup, maybe get lucky.
-Didn't you just get lucky? -That was in Kansas.
What do you say? You with me? [ Laughs .]
Let's go scrape a few hearts off the barroom floor? Uh, I think I'll pass.
I'm gonna hit the lore, but you go be you.
Suit yourself.
[ Door closes .]
[ Engine starts .]
[ Panting .]
Hey, it's me.
I-I-I think I messed up.
I-I don't what happened, but something went wrong.
Now Dan is dead and the FBI are asking questions.
Just call me back ASAP.
[ Garbage disposal grinding .]
[ Sighs .]
[ Knock on door .]
Who's there? [ Knocking continues .]
Agents, is that you? Honey, let me in.
[ Gasps .]
Baby, it's me.
No, it's not.
[ Doorknob rattles .]
[ Gasps .]
Honey, please let me in.
I love you.
Oh.
[ Screams .]
[ Gasping .]
Don't worry, honey.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm your husband.
[ Screams .]
[ Panting .]
[ Engine shuts off .]
[ Train whistle blowing .]
- Hey, any luck? - No.
You? Nah.
Hey, what's a "Dad bod"? [ Chuckles .]
[ Frantic knocking .]
Hey, there, uh Everything okay? No, Dan tried to kill me.
Dan, your dead husband, Dan? You told me to come to you if anything strange or out-of-the-ordinary happened? Well, it did, and I think it's all my fault.
Okay, why don't you sit down? Come on.
I swear.
I really did love Dan, maybe a little too much.
I just -- I wanted him to love me back.
So I got some advice and I confided in my hairdresser about the affair.
Wait.
Women actually do that? And she told me that there was a way to get him back.
I -- I knew she, uh, dabbled in stuff.
Wait a second.
What kind of stuff are you talking about here? She calls herself a White witch.
Listen, I don't know if you believe in that sort of thing.
I normally don't, but I was desperate.
Let me guess.
She, uh, gave you a spell.
Yes.
A return-to-love spell.
All I had to do was chant it and Seal it with a kiss.
[ Sniffles .]
But I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
I swear I -- I just wanted my husband back.
Do you happen to have a copy of the spell on you? Um, yes, yes.
Wow.
Okay, for starters, not a spell.
More like an Aramaic curse.
- What? - This Roughly translates to "The kiss of death"" I swear she never told me that.
What does the lore say? As far as I can tell, there is no lore.
My best guess is this was the White witch's home cooking.
Terrific.
All right, so what do we know? Um, if you kiss someone, then they die.
I guess.
Wait a second.
You didn't kiss Staci.
No, of course not.
No, but Dan did.
So the curse is transmittable? Like a magic STD.
Okay, that works.
Kind of makes you nostalgic for good, old-fashioned herpes.
Oh, God.
I killed Dan and Staci.
You didn't kill anyone.
This is all on that witch.
Riddle me this.
Why did Staci die first if she was kissed second? I don't know.
Maybe you're safe if you can pass the curse on? And then if that person dies, then it comes back to you? I mean, that would make sense.
That would explain why whatever this is is working its way back to Melissa.
I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
Yeah, 'cause it's freaking confusing.
Look, the long and short -- it's like a game of hot potato.
You got to keep paying it forward.
If you don't, you die.
Melissa, this curse started with you.
And I think it wants to end with you.
But don't worry, okay? We're not gonna let that happen.
[ Glass shatters .]
[ Screams .]
[ Groans .]
What the hell did you do?! Come on.
Let's just go.
[ Melissa whimpers .]
[ Engine starts .]
[ Tires screech .]
[ Engine shuts off .]
[ Sighs .]
I'd say that went pretty well.
What do you think? Sam: Wait a second.
Are you serious? You think it's a-a good idea to give yourself a fatal curse? Hold that.
Well, target's off her back, ain't it? I'm just saying you don't have to do this -- be the guinea pig.
- What? - The martyr.
Try and carry the weight by yourself -- do this.
I'm gonna be fine, okay? And as long as I'm good, she's good, and that's the important thing.
Besides, it proved our theory, didn't it -- that this whole "kiss of death" curse is transmittable? I'm not asking for the Nobel here, but, uh, you know, thank you.
- How long do you think we have? - I don't know.
It's not like this thing is exactly following a pattern.
I don't even know what I'm looking for here.
[ Car door opens .]
But we cut out of there pretty quick What was that? So maybe that bought us some time.
Um, we think it was something called a shapeshifter, but, uh, it can't be because I pumped the thing full of silver and it didn't even flinch.
What kind of FBI agents are you? The fake kind.
We're hunters.
Hunters? Look, all you need to know is that we save people like you from things like that.
Even if it's not a shapeshifter, it's still shifting shapes.
If we can figure out what it is, we can find out how to kill it.
All right, what do you know about the White witch? Um, n-not much.
Her name is Sonja.
She's kind of weird.
I don't know.
She's only been my hairdresser for a couple of months.
- Do you know where she lives? - Uh, not a clue.
Where did she give you the spell? In the basement of her salon.
[ Engine shuts off .]
The art of dyeing.
Well, can't say she didn't warn you.
All right, just keep the doors locked and stay put until we get back.
Unless Sonja shows up, and then use this on her.
It won't kill her, but it'll slow her down.
Are you serious? I can't stab anyone! - Come on.
- Listen to me.
Sonja's not just anyone.
She is a wicked witch who offed your husband and tried to kill you, so if she shows up here, you punch her, you stab her, you drop a freaking house on her if you have to.
[ Breathing heavily .]
[ Gun cocks .]
Witch killing bullets.
We got to come up with a better name than that.
[ Door creaks .]
Hey.
Locked cabinet.
[ Grunts .]
- Looky there.
- Hey, hey.
All right.
Got it.
All right, it looks like we're dealing with a Qareen.
Never heard of it.
It's a "creature, corporeal in form, a slave to your commands".
Kind of like a genie.
I guess.
Here we go.
Uh, someone chants the curse and lays a wet one on you.
Then the victim is seduced and killed by the Qareen.
But instead of taking the form of Barbara Eden, they present themselves as your deep, darkest desire.
So it makes sense why the sitter was killed by the husband and the husband by the sitter.
Yeah, and why Melissa was attacked by Dan.
She really loved him.
- [ Chuckles .]
- What? Well, the silver lining about being cursed? I'll finally get some face time with Daisy Duke my deepest, darkest desire.
- Seriously? - Ever since I was 7.
So Bach, not Simpson.
[ Scoffs .]
Eh.
Guess I wouldn't say no to either.
All right, how do we kill it? By stabbing it in its heart.
Uh, well, given that it's got a giant hole in its chest, does it even have a heart? Apparently not in him.
The person who possesses the Qareen's heart is the one who commands it.
So Sonja the hairdresser.
All right, let's find us a heart.
I'll take upstairs.
Ah.
[ Scoffs .]
[ Gasps .]
Whatever.
I'm going upstairs.
Okay.
[ Vehicle passing .]
[ Speaking Aramaic .]
[ Panting .]
[ Footsteps approaching .]
You find anything? I understand, Dean.
Is that right? The longing in your heart -- I feel it, too.
Well, that's touching Considering that you don't have a heart Qareen.
I'm guessing you're not really FBI.
You're what? A hunter? And you're a witch hocking death curses as love spells.
Someone has to punish these men.
But, you know, the only thing worse than a cheating man is one who gets away with it.
[ Scoffs .]
Wow.
You're practically a feminist.
Who I am doesn't matter.
The real question is, who are you? What do you mean, who am I? You're a mystery.
I can see inside your heart.
Feel the love you feel, except It's cloaked in shame.
When it comes to this You can't help yourself.
So why fight it? Just give in.
Why hurt Melissa? She only wanted to save her marriage.
They all do.
Hundreds of heartbroken women come to me, but they never learn.
I mean, a month, a year, however long later, they all come back -- same story, different man.
So you tweak the curse? Now it not only punishes the cheaters, but the foolish women who want them back.
Guess I'm just weeding out the idiots.
And you're next.
Yeah, you know what? You're right.
The real Amara does have a hold on me, but you are nothing but a cheap imitation.
[ Groans .]
[ Speaking Aramaic .]
[ Gasping .]
Sonja, stop! [ Gasps .]
Please.
Enough is enough.
[ Screams .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Cracking .]
[ Groans .]
[ Grunts .]
[ Gasping .]
[ Screams .]
[ Gasps .]
Sam: Dean? Yeah.
SoI got it.
- Yeah? - It's done.
- You good? - Yeah.
Are you good? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, are you gonna keep me in suspense here or what? About what? Who was it? Bach or Simpson? Neither.
Huh.
It was Amara.
[ Clears throat .]
Does that surprise you? That doesn't surprise you? Honestly? Honestly.
What, you seriously think the sister of God is my deepest, darkest desire? - She isn't? - No.
She can't be.
- Why not? - Why? Because if she was, then that means I'm -- Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? For starters, yeah.
Dean.
Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God.
And for some reason, she picked you, and that sucks, but if you think I'm gonna blame you or judge you I'm not.
You know that I want her ass dead.
Yes, of course.
A-and I know you've also probably beaten yourself up a million times over it, but where has that gotten us? [ Sighs .]
Just how bad is it? Standing here right now? Every bone in my body wants to run her through.
Send her back to that hole she crawled out of.
But when I'm near her I don't know -- something happens.
I can't explain it.
But to call it desire or love -- it's not that.
I'm screwed, man.
We want to kill the Darkness.
We need to kill the Darkness.
And I don't think I can.
I'm sorry to do that to you, you know? But when it comes down to it I got it, Dean.
[ Door opens .]
[ Door closes .]
[ Sighs .]
[ Car door closes .]
[ Engine starts .]
@elderman
- For us, every day is Halloween.
Sam: Samhain is the damn origin of Halloween.
Celts believed that October 31st was the one night of the year when the veil was thinnest between the living and the dead.
- We should have one this year.
- Have one what? A Christmas! We'll get a tree, a little Boston Market.
Just like when we were little.
It's Valentine's day, your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it? "Unattached Drifter Christmas"? Your people called him Cupid.
He's actually a lower order of angel.
Technically, it's a cherub, third class.
Yes, yes, yes! Is this a fight? Are we in a fight? This is their handshake.
- What was that? - The future.
Amara: We're bonded.
You're the one who set me free.
No, that was an accident.
You and I will be together.
No, that's -- that's not gonna happen.
We will become one.
Why wouldn't you want that? Heartbreak you always know it when you get it Heartbreak Always take another one with it Here, honey.
Let me.
Thanks, babe.
As handsome as the day I met you.
[ Both chuckle .]
'Cause my heart is breaking in two [ Doorbell rings .]
Doesn't Staci know to knock? She'll wake Teagan! Heartbreak Sorry.
I remembered after I rang.
So, where's Melissa? She's getting ready.
Eww, I can taste her mom lipstick.
[ Scoffs .]
You're telling her tonight, right? It's Valentine's day.
So? So, that's heartless.
Can't we talk about this later? I'm tired of waiting.
I-I told you it's not that simple.
Mel and I, we've been together since we were your age.
We -- we have a house, a baby.
We have a whole life together.
Dan, don't you get it? That's what I want.
Either tell her tonight, or -- or what? [ Footsteps approaching .]
Melissa, you look so pretty! I love your lipstick.
Thanks.
You ready? Mm-hmm.
Man #1: True love, all right? So everyone just, uh, go back to your sloppy tots.
Man #2: Is he gone? Like, gone, gone? Man #3: True love can get us out of here? Yeah.
[ Indistinct conversations .]
H-hey, listen.
Yeah, I've been in love a million times.
Listen.
Man #4: Oh, it's beautiful, Mike.
It really -- boom, boom! This bramble Grey tea is simply divine, Cindy.
Um I would like to apologize for being so insensitive to your grieving emotional state.
Beautiful artwork, by the way.
Rick: You say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door.
I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed.
Morty: Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that! Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.
It hits hard, Morty, then it slow fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage.
I did it.
Your parents are gonna do it.
Break the cycle, Morty.
[ Screams .]
[ Sighs .]
You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing here? [ Chuckles .]
Jerry: Check on your mom.
Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? Mm.
That feels good.
I'm almost finished mang my ionic defibulizer, Morty.
It's gonna be great.
Hey, listen, Rick.
You know Supernatural 11x13 Love Hurts @elderman - Morning.
- Mm.
[ Coughs .]
[ Sniffs .]
Is that a hickey? And? It was Valentine's day.
Wow.
Can't help it if I'm a hopeless romantic.
You got half of that right.
[ Clears throat .]
- Just doing my civic duty.
- [ Chuckles .]
Helping all the single ladies.
You know the best thing about February 14th? You don't have to be Mr.
Right -- just Mr.
Right Now.
That's classy.
Yeah? What'd you do, judgy? Curl up in your snuggie? Watch "50 Shades" on cable? Yeah.
No.
[ Slurping .]
Check this out.
Staci Altman, 19-year-old babysitter from Hudson, Ohio, was murdered last night.
Well, that blows.
But if her name's not Amara, how is that us? Because her heart was ripped out.
- On Valentine's day? - Yeah.
Mm.
Was it, like, an ironic werewolf? All right, we'll check it out.
But, first, I need bacon.
No, first, you need a shower.
- Is it -- - Yeah.
[ Sniffs .]
You're not wrong.
[ Scoffs .]
Dan: It's like we told the cops.
Staci came over around 6:00.
We went to dinner, and by the time we got home We, uh -- we found Staci in the living room in a pool blood and Teagan, in her crib, hysterical.
It was awful.
Can you think of any reason why somebody would want to hurt Staci? No.
Staci was super-sweet and popular and pretty.
Anyone who met her fell in love with her.
Well, maybe it was a crime of passion.
Uh, did Staci have any crazy ex-boyfriends? No.
N-not that I know of.
[ Sniffles .]
Honey? W-why would I have any idea? Was anything stolen? Any chance this may have been a robbery gone wrong? I don't think so.
I mean, nothing was missing except for the nanny cam in the living room.
Thank you for your time.
Give us a call if something comes up.
Melissa: Okay, thank you.
Is it just me, or is that guy acting a bit hinky? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
Let's split up.
You drop me at the morgue, and you can hit Dan at the office.
Yeah, and maybe he'll be a little bit more open without wifey around.
[ Scoffs .]
Yeah.
Based on the autopsy, the Vic was conscious when her heart was ripped out.
[ Scoffs .]
Wouldn't want a front-row seat to that show.
Any ideas what could have done this? Typically? I'd assume animal attack.
- In a house? - Exactly.
Plus, no claw marks.
I'll be honest with you, Agent.
Been doing this for some 20-odd years, and I'm stumped.
All right.
[ Clears throat .]
[ Camera shutter clicks .]
Thanks.
Someone's here to see you, Mr.
Harper.
FBI -- an Agent Weller? Send him in, please.
Please.
Have a seat, agent.
What can I help you with? I need you be straight with me, Dan.
I'm not sure what you mean, Agent.
Oh, I think you do.
I think you're hiding something.
And you didn't want to talk about it in front of your wife.
You're schtupping the babysitter.
[ Laughs .]
Excuse me? Oh, don't act all fake offended.
I'm actually trying to help you out here, okay? Now, personally, I don't a give rat's ass who you screw.
But I would just hate for your, uh, extracurricular activities to get you involved in a federal murder investigation.
Or I could just go talk to your wife.
[ Telephone ringing in distance .]
I want to be straight with you, Agent.
I really do, but I can't.
Sure you can.
No, really, I mean, this is just too damn weird.
You -- you'd never believe me.
Try me.
[ Drawer opens .]
Let me guess -- the missing nanny cam? I was having an affair with Staci.
I only took the nanny cam because she kissed me in front of it.
I forgot the damn thing was there.
Anyway, I was gonna erase it as soon as we got home.
[ Sighs .]
But then we found Staci's body.
Melissa went upstairs to the baby, and I -- Ran for the cam? I know it was a dick move, but I also know the cam must have recorded the murder.
As soon as I erased the kiss, I was gonna turn it over to the cops.
I swear.
Until I saw what was on it.
I know that's me, but I swear it wasn't me.
I would never hurt Staci.
I loved her.
I was at a dinner the entire time.
If you don't believe me, ask Melissa or the waiter.
Or any of the 75 other people that were there.
You got to believe me.
Relax.
I do.
You do? I need you to sit tight.
Keep a lid on this for the time being, okay? [ Door opens .]
Yo.
Hey.
Find anything? Uh, yeah -- Jack.
Absolutely nothing points to a werewolf.
Well [Clears throat.]
Step aside, Urkel.
It was Dan that stole the nanny cam.
Why? He was schtupping the sitter.
Hmm.
Wait a second.
I thought Dan was at dinner with Melissa.
That's not Dan.
[ Scoffs .]
[ Sighs .]
A shapeshifter.
Yahtzee.
It is okay if I head out? Yeah.
Are you okay, Mr.
Harper? I'm happy to stay if you need me.
Or maybe you should go home.
Be with your family.
I'll be okay, Gladys.
You have a good night.
Okay.
[ Elevator bell dings .]
Excuse me.
[ Door closes .]
Did you forget something? Staci? Uh-huh.
What the hell is going on? I want you to give me your heart.
You're dead.
This -- this is impossible.
[ Gasps .]
I saw your -- your heart ripped out of your chest! Shh.
Please.
What are you doing? What do you want? [ Groans .]
[ Camera shutterttlicks .]
Dean: You were the last person to see your boss alive.
Did you notice anything unusual? Uh Nothing unusual, per Se.
Just kind of rude.
This young girl -- brunette, buxom, couldn't have been more than 19 -- barreled out of the elevator as I was leaving.
Nearly knocked me over.
Is this her? Yeah, that's the girl.
Thank you for your time, ma'am.
[ Camera shutter clicks .]
Well, it confirms we're dealing with a shifter.
Yeah, who's upping its game by impersonating dead people.
I'm guessing it's the wife.
Yeah.
[ Camera shutter clicks .]
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I just can't -- I just can't believe it.
I mean -- how is this even possible? That's what we're trying to figure out.
Where's the baby? Uh She's -- she's with my mom.
[ Clears throat .]
I hate to have to ask this, but I-I need to ask you a difficult question.
Okay.
Were you aware that your husband was having an affair with your babysitter? [ Sighs .]
Yes.
I knew.
I know what you're thinking -- jealous wife kills her cheating husband.
But that couldn't be further from the truth.
I loved Dan.
I still do.
It may sound pathetic, but I thought we still had a chance.
Well, thank you for your time.
We'll leave you alone, let you get some rest.
Before we go, would you mind just writing down a phone number where we can get ahold of you in case we have any more questions? Yeah, sure.
[ Both sigh .]
And if anything strange or out of the ordinary comes up, don't hesitate to call.
We're staying at the motel on Main Street.
Thanks.
All right, so Melissa's not the shifter.
We are back to square zilch.
I need a beer.
Regroup, maybe get lucky.
-Didn't you just get lucky? -That was in Kansas.
What do you say? You with me? [ Laughs .]
Let's go scrape a few hearts off the barroom floor? Uh, I think I'll pass.
I'm gonna hit the lore, but you go be you.
Suit yourself.
[ Door closes .]
[ Engine starts .]
[ Panting .]
Hey, it's me.
I-I-I think I messed up.
I-I don't what happened, but something went wrong.
Now Dan is dead and the FBI are asking questions.
Just call me back ASAP.
[ Garbage disposal grinding .]
[ Sighs .]
[ Knock on door .]
Who's there? [ Knocking continues .]
Agents, is that you? Honey, let me in.
[ Gasps .]
Baby, it's me.
No, it's not.
[ Doorknob rattles .]
[ Gasps .]
Honey, please let me in.
I love you.
Oh.
[ Screams .]
[ Gasping .]
Don't worry, honey.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm your husband.
[ Screams .]
[ Panting .]
[ Engine shuts off .]
[ Train whistle blowing .]
- Hey, any luck? - No.
You? Nah.
Hey, what's a "Dad bod"? [ Chuckles .]
[ Frantic knocking .]
Hey, there, uh Everything okay? No, Dan tried to kill me.
Dan, your dead husband, Dan? You told me to come to you if anything strange or out-of-the-ordinary happened? Well, it did, and I think it's all my fault.
Okay, why don't you sit down? Come on.
I swear.
I really did love Dan, maybe a little too much.
I just -- I wanted him to love me back.
So I got some advice and I confided in my hairdresser about the affair.
Wait.
Women actually do that? And she told me that there was a way to get him back.
I -- I knew she, uh, dabbled in stuff.
Wait a second.
What kind of stuff are you talking about here? She calls herself a White witch.
Listen, I don't know if you believe in that sort of thing.
I normally don't, but I was desperate.
Let me guess.
She, uh, gave you a spell.
Yes.
A return-to-love spell.
All I had to do was chant it and Seal it with a kiss.
[ Sniffles .]
But I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
I swear I -- I just wanted my husband back.
Do you happen to have a copy of the spell on you? Um, yes, yes.
Wow.
Okay, for starters, not a spell.
More like an Aramaic curse.
- What? - This Roughly translates to "The kiss of death"" I swear she never told me that.
What does the lore say? As far as I can tell, there is no lore.
My best guess is this was the White witch's home cooking.
Terrific.
All right, so what do we know? Um, if you kiss someone, then they die.
I guess.
Wait a second.
You didn't kiss Staci.
No, of course not.
No, but Dan did.
So the curse is transmittable? Like a magic STD.
Okay, that works.
Kind of makes you nostalgic for good, old-fashioned herpes.
Oh, God.
I killed Dan and Staci.
You didn't kill anyone.
This is all on that witch.
Riddle me this.
Why did Staci die first if she was kissed second? I don't know.
Maybe you're safe if you can pass the curse on? And then if that person dies, then it comes back to you? I mean, that would make sense.
That would explain why whatever this is is working its way back to Melissa.
I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
Yeah, 'cause it's freaking confusing.
Look, the long and short -- it's like a game of hot potato.
You got to keep paying it forward.
If you don't, you die.
Melissa, this curse started with you.
And I think it wants to end with you.
But don't worry, okay? We're not gonna let that happen.
[ Glass shatters .]
[ Screams .]
[ Groans .]
What the hell did you do?! Come on.
Let's just go.
[ Melissa whimpers .]
[ Engine starts .]
[ Tires screech .]
[ Engine shuts off .]
[ Sighs .]
I'd say that went pretty well.
What do you think? Sam: Wait a second.
Are you serious? You think it's a-a good idea to give yourself a fatal curse? Hold that.
Well, target's off her back, ain't it? I'm just saying you don't have to do this -- be the guinea pig.
- What? - The martyr.
Try and carry the weight by yourself -- do this.
I'm gonna be fine, okay? And as long as I'm good, she's good, and that's the important thing.
Besides, it proved our theory, didn't it -- that this whole "kiss of death" curse is transmittable? I'm not asking for the Nobel here, but, uh, you know, thank you.
- How long do you think we have? - I don't know.
It's not like this thing is exactly following a pattern.
I don't even know what I'm looking for here.
[ Car door opens .]
But we cut out of there pretty quick What was that? So maybe that bought us some time.
Um, we think it was something called a shapeshifter, but, uh, it can't be because I pumped the thing full of silver and it didn't even flinch.
What kind of FBI agents are you? The fake kind.
We're hunters.
Hunters? Look, all you need to know is that we save people like you from things like that.
Even if it's not a shapeshifter, it's still shifting shapes.
If we can figure out what it is, we can find out how to kill it.
All right, what do you know about the White witch? Um, n-not much.
Her name is Sonja.
She's kind of weird.
I don't know.
She's only been my hairdresser for a couple of months.
- Do you know where she lives? - Uh, not a clue.
Where did she give you the spell? In the basement of her salon.
[ Engine shuts off .]
The art of dyeing.
Well, can't say she didn't warn you.
All right, just keep the doors locked and stay put until we get back.
Unless Sonja shows up, and then use this on her.
It won't kill her, but it'll slow her down.
Are you serious? I can't stab anyone! - Come on.
- Listen to me.
Sonja's not just anyone.
She is a wicked witch who offed your husband and tried to kill you, so if she shows up here, you punch her, you stab her, you drop a freaking house on her if you have to.
[ Breathing heavily .]
[ Gun cocks .]
Witch killing bullets.
We got to come up with a better name than that.
[ Door creaks .]
Hey.
Locked cabinet.
[ Grunts .]
- Looky there.
- Hey, hey.
All right.
Got it.
All right, it looks like we're dealing with a Qareen.
Never heard of it.
It's a "creature, corporeal in form, a slave to your commands".
Kind of like a genie.
I guess.
Here we go.
Uh, someone chants the curse and lays a wet one on you.
Then the victim is seduced and killed by the Qareen.
But instead of taking the form of Barbara Eden, they present themselves as your deep, darkest desire.
So it makes sense why the sitter was killed by the husband and the husband by the sitter.
Yeah, and why Melissa was attacked by Dan.
She really loved him.
- [ Chuckles .]
- What? Well, the silver lining about being cursed? I'll finally get some face time with Daisy Duke my deepest, darkest desire.
- Seriously? - Ever since I was 7.
So Bach, not Simpson.
[ Scoffs .]
Eh.
Guess I wouldn't say no to either.
All right, how do we kill it? By stabbing it in its heart.
Uh, well, given that it's got a giant hole in its chest, does it even have a heart? Apparently not in him.
The person who possesses the Qareen's heart is the one who commands it.
So Sonja the hairdresser.
All right, let's find us a heart.
I'll take upstairs.
Ah.
[ Scoffs .]
[ Gasps .]
Whatever.
I'm going upstairs.
Okay.
[ Vehicle passing .]
[ Speaking Aramaic .]
[ Panting .]
[ Footsteps approaching .]
You find anything? I understand, Dean.
Is that right? The longing in your heart -- I feel it, too.
Well, that's touching Considering that you don't have a heart Qareen.
I'm guessing you're not really FBI.
You're what? A hunter? And you're a witch hocking death curses as love spells.
Someone has to punish these men.
But, you know, the only thing worse than a cheating man is one who gets away with it.
[ Scoffs .]
Wow.
You're practically a feminist.
Who I am doesn't matter.
The real question is, who are you? What do you mean, who am I? You're a mystery.
I can see inside your heart.
Feel the love you feel, except It's cloaked in shame.
When it comes to this You can't help yourself.
So why fight it? Just give in.
Why hurt Melissa? She only wanted to save her marriage.
They all do.
Hundreds of heartbroken women come to me, but they never learn.
I mean, a month, a year, however long later, they all come back -- same story, different man.
So you tweak the curse? Now it not only punishes the cheaters, but the foolish women who want them back.
Guess I'm just weeding out the idiots.
And you're next.
Yeah, you know what? You're right.
The real Amara does have a hold on me, but you are nothing but a cheap imitation.
[ Groans .]
[ Speaking Aramaic .]
[ Gasping .]
Sonja, stop! [ Gasps .]
Please.
Enough is enough.
[ Screams .]
[ Gasps .]
[ Cracking .]
[ Groans .]
[ Grunts .]
[ Gasping .]
[ Screams .]
[ Gasps .]
Sam: Dean? Yeah.
SoI got it.
- Yeah? - It's done.
- You good? - Yeah.
Are you good? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So, are you gonna keep me in suspense here or what? About what? Who was it? Bach or Simpson? Neither.
Huh.
It was Amara.
[ Clears throat .]
Does that surprise you? That doesn't surprise you? Honestly? Honestly.
What, you seriously think the sister of God is my deepest, darkest desire? - She isn't? - No.
She can't be.
- Why not? - Why? Because if she was, then that means I'm -- Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? For starters, yeah.
Dean.
Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God.
And for some reason, she picked you, and that sucks, but if you think I'm gonna blame you or judge you I'm not.
You know that I want her ass dead.
Yes, of course.
A-and I know you've also probably beaten yourself up a million times over it, but where has that gotten us? [ Sighs .]
Just how bad is it? Standing here right now? Every bone in my body wants to run her through.
Send her back to that hole she crawled out of.
But when I'm near her I don't know -- something happens.
I can't explain it.
But to call it desire or love -- it's not that.
I'm screwed, man.
We want to kill the Darkness.
We need to kill the Darkness.
And I don't think I can.
I'm sorry to do that to you, you know? But when it comes down to it I got it, Dean.
[ Door opens .]
[ Door closes .]
[ Sighs .]
[ Car door closes .]
[ Engine starts .]
@elderman