Grey's Anatomy s11e17 Episode Script
With or Without You
There's this thing I used to do when I was a kid to my mom's VCR.
I'd take it apart piece by piece, then put it back together again.
I left my phone at the lab.
By the time I figured out I left it, I was already at the airport coming to you.
- And she picked up your phone why? - I don't know.
She probably thought it was me.
I called her from the airport.
Then she told me she spoke to you.
But inevitably, there was always a piece or two left over, something I didn't quite know what to do with.
Is that it? Is that everything you have to say? That's all there is to say.
I've told you everything, the whole story all of it.
But if you want, I'll go through it all again.
- And she's your research fellow.
- Yes.
Just your research fellow.
So, what do you do with that piece? Meredith.
I wish I could believe you.
You can.
I'm here.
I know how this works.
I was your resident once.
It seems like you came home because you thought you were in trouble.
Do you try to fit it back in? I came home because we're in trouble.
I came home to work on this, on us.
I came home.
Do you try to make it work? I have to get to the hospital.
Can't you get somebody to cover? Or do you decide you can live without that missing piece? You should spend the day with the kids.
They'd love it.
They really miss you.
Who is next? Uh, we're looking at neuropeptide "Y" receptors in marmoset brains.
Great.
That's that's great.
Which one of you is doing a thing where you're patch-clamping nerve cells? Oh, that's me.
Which one of you is "me"? What's your name? Uh, Collier.
Renee Collier.
Renee, how's it going? Pretty good.
How are you? I mean with the research, Renee.
How's it going? Oh.
Uh, it's it's going pretty well.
A few bumps in the road, but all things considered The synaptic timing discoveries you made will help us here immensely.
I want to see what you're doing.
Oh, sure.
I look forward to working with you.
Grey's Anatomy 11x17 With or Without You What do you got? of biliary atresia.
Chronic liver rejection.
Uh, waiting on donors, but he keeps deteriorating.
I'm I'm running out of ideas.
Let me take a look.
I didn't pull you out of Zola's dance class or something, did I? No, no.
Derek's home, though.
- Since when? - Last night.
- And this morning.
- And? - And what? - And do you know who answered his phone? His biliary outflow is strictured.
I want to examine him myself and get a new ultrasound.
Owen! Uh, Chief.
Hey, Dr.
Shepherd.
You finished your laminectomy in O.
R.
2? I did.
Uh, did you need ? Oh, I'm just trying to see if Bailey can get in here for a bowel obstruction.
Right.
- O.
R.
's all hers.
- Great.
I felt like last night's business was left Unfinished.
You felt that way, too? Many agenda items left unchecked.
Yeah, barely scratched the surface, really.
I think we need a follow-up.
Agreed.
When we won't be Interrupted.
Oh, my God.
Hey, how about How about tonight, if you're not on call? I'm not.
Okay, then.
Okay.
Hey, Jo, I need your help.
No, I'm not letting you do laundry at the house again.
Alex gets crabby when you leave your soggy clothes - in the washer.
- Stop.
I spent so much time with Dr.
Shepherd on that brain tumor that I'm behind in like every other specialty.
I just checked my hours.
I am so screwed.
Suddenly it's lonely on the neuro throne.
Hey, Wilson, Edwards.
I've got a lacerated spleen in 20 minutes, and Hunt had a personal matter come up.
I need someone downstairs.
Start with the headache in bed 3.
Wilson, it's yours.
What did I just say? She said "headache.
" It's probably neuro.
I'm doing you a favor.
Fine.
But if it's something good, you better call me.
Fine.
I just got a page? Oh.
Yeah.
Now, I don't want you to worry.
She's understandably embarrassed, so we went ahead and put her in trauma 1.
- Richard, what are you - Okay, now.
She's shaken up, okay? She's got a big bruise on her back, and and aside from a nasty head lac, there's no evidence of other injuries.
- Shepherd's with her now.
- Who are we talking about? I thought they told you.
Mom! What happened?! For heaven's sake, Owen, shut that curtain.
Everyone can see me.
Evelyn, try not to move, okay? Already gave half the neighborhood a free show just by getting in the ambulance.
She fell in the shower, right through the glass door.
Did you slip? I told you you need a support bar in there.
Oh, those things are so ugly.
- She said she got dizzy.
- Dizziness, huh? I'm not surprised with a laceration like this.
You had quite a fall.
I think we should get a head C.
T.
She said she was dizzy before the fall.
- All morning, actually.
- Really? We got this from here.
Thank you.
You can step outside.
No, I want him to stay.
John was with me when it happened.
I know, Mom.
You've been great, thank you.
My mom's really grateful.
But he's done his part now, Mom, so No, I don't mean since I fell.
He was with me when I fell.
I don't understand.
Well, I wasn't with her in the shower.
I was, uh I was making us some breakfast before I went to work.
Owen, I'm John.
As in "John.
" Yeah, I still don't understand.
Honey, John and I, we're I thought you told him.
Told me what? Is somebody gonna tell me what the hell is going on? I think what they're trying to say is John is Your mother's boyfriend.
How long has this been going on? She was dizzy when she first got out of bed.
We thought she was just hungry, so I That's not what I How long have you two been In a relationship? Mom, please.
Please don't use that word.
- Evelyn, any changes in vision? - No, dear.
We've been together a little under a year.
- A year?! - Dr.
Webber, what do you think? More X-rays, maybe, on her left wrist? Uh, I didn't realize she had hurt Just to be safe.
Sure, sure.
That's a fine idea, Shepherd.
Owen, John's very nice.
I think you two have a lot in common.
She talks about you all the time.
She's so proud.
- I'm thrilled that we're finally meeting.
- How old are you?! - Don't be rude.
- 35.
He's young enough to be my brother.
Does he have access to your financial information, - your pension fund? - Owen Hunt! Okay, pupils are equal and reactive.
This is a serious relationship.
But I'd still like to get that head C.
T.
- just to rule out a bleed.
- "Serious.
" Sure, okay.
Seriously weird, seriously misguided.
Not that we don't have our fun.
Hey, hey, hey, stay away from her! You hear me?! - Whoa, buddy, calm down.
- I'm not your buddy, okay? I'll be changing her passwords, her locks, her phone number.
- If you so much as attempt - Hunt! Let's take a walk.
Take a walk.
Hey, Danny.
Where's your sister? Probably trying to find more stupid stuff - to cram in this room.
- Dr.
Grey, meet Danny, Grey-Sloan's resident hockey freak.
Nice to meet you, Danny.
Do you mind if I, uh Hey, did you see the game last night? Yeah, you owe me 10 bucks.
Sharp had five shots on goal.
Yeah, and none went in.
Dr.
Karev, any news? We'll, uh, after today's scare, we ran another set of blood tests.
We think he's developing another infection.
Well, can we do the catheter procedure again - and drain the infection? - Well, we can try, but Actually, after looking at Danny's scans and ultrasounds, I think we could go in surgically.
Could re-create the biliary tree and prevent infection from reoccurring.
- Is that an option? - Uh, it's a risky one in Danny's state.
I'd prefer to continue with antibiotic therapy and just keep monitoring him.
But the surgery could help Danny while he's waiting for a new liver and possibly get him out of the hospital for a while.
Well, I'm in.
Living here sucks.
Well, let's not jump into anything yet.
Dr.
Grey and I will discuss it before we seriously consider well, why don't we run some more tests, and, uh, we'll let you know what we think, okay? So, you've had this headache for a month with no relief? Hmm.
Okay.
And where is the headache located? All over.
It it moves around.
Listen, I went to China last month.
Is this the bird flu? Or the the what what is it, the SARS? It's one of those.
I have a headache all the time.
- I get these nosebleeds.
- Nosebleeds? Yeah, the blood starts to come out, and then I got at it with a tissue, and it just goes back up.
Huh.
Is that normal? See, you're putting on a mask.
I've got the SARS.
No, this is just protocol.
Oh, hey, I see what you're talking about.
- Oh, God.
- God, what?! That's not a nosebleed.
So, Dr.
Avery attached the transplanted tissue to the arm.
And, as described in this morning's presentation The fresh blood supply has allowed the skin to regrow without the need for further grafts.
Dr.
Warren? Dr.
Avery will perform a primary microvascular aterial repair first and then follow with a venous anastomosis.
All right, Matt.
This all looks very good.
- We're gonna see you in the O.
R.
- What? I swear that never gets old.
Ah, if only that were true.
Okay, guys.
- Excuse me.
- All right.
Hey.
Edwards.
You need anything? You are pretty.
I'm sorry? Do you need anything? Do you want anything? Okay, that's, uh that's that's flattering.
But, um, I have a beautiful and very strong wife.
Ew, Warren.
No, I want your case.
Oh.
No, not a chance.
I will give you $50.
Nah, I can't do it.
Come on, I need to log more E.
N.
T.
hours.
And how is that my problem? Look at this.
Danny's in full-blown cholangitis.
What was that with Danny? Why would you bring up that surgery without talking about it with me first? You brought me on as a consult for my opinion.
I was giving you my opinion.
He's barely able to keep his blood clotting.
You really think he's gonna survive a surgery that big? I thought that's why you brought me on, because you wanted some new ideas.
Have you even done this procedure before? You came to me.
You brought this case to me.
- For your help.
- So then listen to me.
What's going on here, Mer? Nothing's going on.
Would you rather him sit around and wait for a liver and die or let me try a surgery I know I can handle? What's the deal here? Is this about your streak? - Are you kidding me? - Then what? What's going on here? What's your deal today? Nothing.
No deal.
I have no deal.
What in the world led you to develop this technique? It was for a little side hobby of mine.
- Which is? - I want to cure autism.
That's ambitious for a fellow.
Hmm.
What made you decide to tackle autism? Usually it comes down to just one.
My little sister.
Ah.
I just always wondered what she was thinking.
I hope you find that out.
Hey, why didn't you answer my text? 'Cause I was working.
- So? - So what? - How is Meredith? - What do you know? I know she's being an ass, pushing a risky surgery on my patient.
- She's on a streak.
- Go for it.
- Who was the woman on Derek's phone? - I don't know.
- She said nothing? - Yesterday, she couldn't stop talking about it.
All I know is Derek came home last night.
No.
- Crap.
- Crap? Why crap? A woman answers his phone, he immediately gets on a plane and shows up in the middle of the night.
He's here to apologize.
Because he has something to apologize for.
Crap.
I don't like this.
Mrs.
Hunt, I know this is hard, but I need you to not move.
I think I might be done.
Am I done? Not quite yet.
Try focusing on your breathing.
I'm not usually like this.
I was in the military.
I served in Vietnam.
I don't panic.
I think I'm just upset.
Well, you did have quite a fall.
Not about the fall.
About Owen.
I didn't mean for him to find out like this.
He has a right to be a little surprised Shocked.
But how does he think I feel? A guy like John chasing after a fossil like me.
It was weeks before I even realized he was dating me.
And then, one night he kissed me, and I'm not stupid.
I know how we must look together.
I know what people must think of us.
"He's conning her.
She's buying him.
It's a joke.
" It's what I'd think.
But then he kissed me.
And when he kissed me We were exactly the same age.
All those years between us disappeared.
John always says, "Ev, there's no difference between us except a bunch of years.
And, frankly, they're years I wish I'd spent with you.
" Owen's always worried that I'm lonely.
His dad died 32 years ago, so he worries.
But I'm not lonely.
I'm having the time of my life.
Am I done? In order for me to get a clean C.
T.
scan, I need for you to be perfectly still, which means No talking.
No talking.
- John sounds amazing.
- Doesn't he? It would be so much easier if he were my age.
But I got to tell you, it's so much nicer that he isn't.
Oh, God.
I know.
It's a little uncomfortable, but we can just get a good look at what's going on inside.
Please don't find a tumor.
No, looks good.
Your tissues look healthy.
- Aah! - Aah! - What's going on? - Nothing! I told you to page me if you had something cool.
Oh, it's not.
Sorry.
No, it's just a It's just another neurotic lady who thought her headache was a brain tumor.
So lots of, uh, ibuprofen and hand-holding in here.
You should you should go.
Find something worth your hours.
What was that? What was that?! It's some kind of critter.
What do you mean, "critter"? It's alive? Something's living in my face? It's using your sinus cavities to move around.
Oh, my God! I don't care! Just get it out! Hang on, all right? Hang on.
Let me put this mask on you.
Start him on an albumin drip.
I want the surgery.
Danny, we went over this.
No.
I want the surgery! Dr.
Karev is gonna drain the fluid, - and you're gonna feel better.
- No! I won't! I can't keep doing this.
I want the surgery.
It's really risky.
Your body's very weak.
- You don't know what you're saying.
- Yes, I do! I can't go out like this, sitting in some hospital bed, waiting, propped up with my special pillows, staring at crap that doesn't mean anything.
Some hockey puck you got signed for me out of pity, pictures of our dead parents who would have known better than to just let me sit here and rot.
- All right, hey, Danny.
- It's fine.
No, it's not.
It's my life.
It's my choice.
Dr.
Grey, I want the surgery, and I want it today.
Kathy, he's hurting right now, all right? - Once he feels better - Will he feel better? I mean, he's right.
It is his life.
He has so little control over anything else, but he's almost 18.
He should get a say in what he does in his life, right? That's what he wants.
I mean, he just wants to go to games and hang out with girls and junk out on popcorn with his friends at the movies.
He's miserable and terrified.
And I don't blame him.
Just I'll give consent.
Just do the surgery.
Absolutely.
You're still his guardian.
You don't have to do this.
Just tell me that it's going to work.
I spent my entire adult life taking care of him.
Now he wants a life, but he's my life.
I don't know what I would do without him.
_ - Renee? - Oh! Oh, God.
You okay? Yeah, I'm just, uh I'm sorry.
I broke a cup.
- I'll replace it.
- I'm not worried about the cup.
I'm fine.
I'm sorry.
Have a good night.
Do you want to talk about it? I've been measuring levels of activity and inhibitory cells in VPA rat brains.
For months, I've been patching and patching - for more than a year, actually.
- Mm-hmm.
I've been looking for abnormalities, and nothing shows up.
Nothing.
I'm wasting my time.
Do you know why you feel like that? It's because you're close.
You're very close to a breakthrough.
I've been there.
It's tedious.
It takes patience and concentration.
And you want it.
You want a breakthrough so bad that you have to break something.
I'll replace the cup.
I'm Stop talking about the cup.
Keep going.
You're right at the line.
You're gonna cross it.
Don't stop.
You should get some sleep.
Yeah.
I'll try.
Hey, so, I spoke to Dr.
Webber.
Your C.
T.
results came back.
You have a mild head contusion, so they're gonna keep an eye on it overnight.
I suppose you have questions.
No.
Um I brought you some, uh, pant uh, some ladies' underthings and, uh socks in case your, you know your feet get cold.
Patients are always telling me that their feet get cold, so I thought "socks.
" I spent your whole childhood telling you to be sure you had clean socks and underwear on in case you were in an accident.
Here I am.
No socks, no underwear.
Owen, ask.
It's none of my business.
I don't need to We met in a writer's group.
I didn't know you wrote.
Just stories.
Little things about my time in the service.
John liked them.
One night, we stayed late talking about my stories, and he shared some of his.
He he did a stint in the Navy.
And after a while, we realized we were the only ones still around.
He asked if I wanted to go for some coffee and keep the conversation going.
I did.
That was six months ago.
And somehow we've never run out of things to talk about.
So, that's it? Just coffee and conversation? Do you really want to hear about your mother's sex life? Okay, um Owen, does it matter that he's not what you pictured? Yes, it matters, 'cause there's something wrong here.
He's half your age.
He's younger than I am.
Mom, I think he's using you.
For what? For sex? Well, God bless him.
Stop it.
That's not what I meant.
For money.
Your pension, maybe.
That's what these guys do.
They they prey on older people.
What do you mean, "these guys"? John's not "these guys.
" There's no way a man like that could Could love me? Is that what you were gonna say? There's no way a man like that could love me.
Mom.
Just think about it.
For a moment, put your heart aside and try to think about it.
You should have told me right away.
I would have never let this guy do this to you.
It's not right.
It feels right.
I want you to go.
Mom.
I don't want to see anyone make a fool out of you.
And I won't let anybody hurt you.
Please.
I like your mom.
She's funny and smart.
- I mean, I'm not surprised.
- Is there a point? Owen, if it were my mom, I would be thrown, too, but from talking to her, it seems like they're really in love.
You spent 15 minutes listening to her, and you have this whole thing figured out.
I know nothing about this guy.
You don't know my mother, so please just stay the hell out of it.
We went to this beautiful lake Shh.
Don't speak.
With these waterfalls.
You'll scare him away.
Everyone on my tour was jumping off this big, high ledge into the lake.
I was so terrified to do it, but it was like the big, high point of the trip for them.
I didn't want to be the only one who didn't go.
I didn't want to miss out on the high point.
I'm so glad I jumped.
It was exhilarating.
Amazing.
It changed me forever.
Please stop talking.
Do you think that's when I got this thing in me? Andrea, don't move.
Come to mama.
Oh, no! Stop, stop, stop! - It's grabbing.
It's grabbing.
- Just a little more.
Just a little Stop it! Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Okay.
We're gonna take a little break.
Then we'll try again.
I'm not doing that again.
I'm not doing it.
We'll need to be very careful when connecting the graft to the posterior auricular artery.
And There.
Scissors, please.
Uh, hello, Dr.
Bailey.
Bribery, Edwards? You think bribery is an appropriate standard of practice in this hospital, bribing for surgeries? I don't know what you're talking about.
You tried to bribe your way onto that surgery down there.
Warren.
Sleeping with the enemy.
You demean yourself, and you demean medicine.
I'm sorry.
And it doesn't matter, anyway.
It didn't work.
$50? $50.
Do you know how much a full ear replantation would have gone for in my day? $100, easy.
$120, even, plus two weeks of night call.
You add in inflation, you should have offered him $175, at least.
$50.
We can't even go to dinner for $50.
Gelfoam, please.
I need more retraction.
Any more, and we'll need to extend the incision.
Well, then we'll extend the incision.
I need better visualization of the bile duct.
- His hepatic veins are bleeding.
- His liver's too scarred.
We need to stop, give him extra clotting factors.
- We can't stop.
- I told you it was a bad idea.
His body can't take it.
He's already deteriorating.
Let's pack him and get out.
We can't close him now.
He will die.
He'll be dead in a week.
How long has he been on the transplant list? Will he get a liver this week? I could do a hepatico-j to decompress the liver.
- That's crazy.
It'll never work.
- It's a chance.
I didn't ask you for a chance.
I asked you for an opinion.
Which I gave you, which I'm giving you now, which you refuse to listen to.
You hijacked my patient to perform a procedure that could kill him.
If you don't like my surgical plan, you are free to leave.
What the hell is wrong with you? Damn it.
He's dropping his pressure.
I'm putting a shunt in from the splenic to the IVC.
- The anastomosis is not gonna hold.
- It's the only way.
Right angle.
Hello? What are you doing right now? I was It's 1:00 A.
M.
How soon can you be at the lab? I couldn't stop thinking about your research.
You've been thinking about my research? Come here.
Come on.
Let me show you.
Look.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I know.
I told you.
It's all about the excitatory pathways.
Here, look.
See? Yeah.
Your blood pressure's dropped since the last check.
You feeling okay? I feel like I'm being made too much fuss over 'cause my son's the boss.
Okay, so, uh, the cat's fed, um, I got the recycling down to the curb.
I brought you some clothes and stuff.
I couldn't find your journal, so I just picked you up a fresh one down in the gift shop.
You didn't have to do all that.
Hey.
Hey, are you are you okay? Is she okay? I'm fine.
You've very, very sweet.
But I don't think We shouldn't be doing this.
Not anymore.
What? You don't need this, John a frail, old woman who falls in the shower.
Stop it.
Is this is this because Owen He's my son.
And he's been to hell and back.
And he does everything for me.
And if he feels that it isn't Hey, hey, Evelyn.
Do you believe that? Ohh! We need help in here! Oh! Aah! Aah! Aah! Okay, her abdomen's rigid.
- Evelyn.
- Step outside, all right? Blood pressure's dropping drastically.
She's going into shock.
Page Pierce, and get Owen Hunt.
Oh! I'm right here.
- Shunt is in.
- Bleeding seems under control.
- You seem surprised.
- I'm glad it worked.
You've questioned every move I've made.
You, of all people? I need you to believe in me.
Crap, there's I see it.
The anastomosis is leaking.
Come on, Danny.
What happened?! Ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm.
The dizziness, the bruising on her back they must have been caused by a sentinel bleed.
What the hell, Richard? How'd you not see this? Hey, all of her injuries were consistent with her fall.
None of us would have thought to look any further.
I know you're worried, but we have her.
Hey.
I need you to tell me why you're here.
I'm gonna go.
She told me to go.
- Good.
Go.
- I will.
But not until I know she's all right.
I know she doesn't want me, and that's fine.
But I can't just walk away not knowing how she is.
I can't just walk away from I know she doesn't want me, but I want her.
I have to know that she's out there in the world okay.
I can't go not knowing.
She'll never even know I was here.
You don't have to say anything to her.
I'll go the moment that I know.
But until then, I am sitting here in this chair, until I know that Evelyn is all right.
- Hey.
- He's okay, right? The surgery worked? Can I see him? Dr.
Grey? Kathy, um, I'm I'm so sorry.
Um, I'm so sorry for your loss.
No! Oh, my God.
No! - Tell me that's not - Yes.
The VPA cells are connecting almost twice the rate of normal cells.
- This is amazing! - Mm-hmm.
You're amazing! I could kiss you.
- Uh.
.
- Uh, I mean, I won't.
Obviously I won't.
Sorry.
But all the wrong turns and brick walls, and finding the answer is such a high.
Hmm.
It's getting late.
Um I should go.
Do you have to? Meredith! Mer, stop! - He should have lived.
- He couldn't.
You saw how messed up his liver was.
I should have saved him.
I could have saved him.
If you weren't bringing me down with your doubting and second-guessing and distracting me.
- Mer.
- He should have lived.
He should have lived! He should have lived.
What? Stop.
Get off! Stop it! Come on.
No.
- I'm mad at you.
- No, you're not.
- I am.
- No, you're mad at Derek.
You want to take it out on me, go on.
You want to yell and hit and scream 'cause things are hard at home, okay.
You want to be a mess, be a mess.
I don't care.
I can take it.
But in that O.
R You are not a mess in that O.
R.
You tried.
We both did.
You didn't do this.
You didn't kill that kid, okay? So keep it together.
We were able to repair her aneurysm.
- So she's gonna be okay? - Yeah, that's good.
She should recovery nicely.
That was one lucky fall.
If her aneurysm had ruptured outside of the hospital, she wouldn't have made it.
All right.
Thank you.
- Thanks.
- Mm.
Uh Tell your mom I said goodbye.
Oh.
I ordered this book that she's been searching for forever.
It was out of print.
I found it.
I had it shipped.
Uh, it arrived yesterday.
Um, it's in this little brown package on the table near the blue sofa.
Will you make sure she gets it? Yeah.
Thanks.
John, wait.
I told you to go.
Yeah, well, Owen suggested that you might be full of crap.
Hmm.
I asked him to stick around.
We've been talking.
Oh, God.
I wish you didn't have to see me like this.
I look so Shh, shh, shh.
You look beautiful.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, just relax, Andrea.
Dr.
Wilson said I could have a look at your little buddy there? - No.
- Okay, I feel for you.
I do.
But you got to let us yank him out.
- Wilson! - But it hurts.
I think he has teeth.
I know you're scared.
He is, too.
He doesn't want to come out.
He has found the perfect Safe home.
The tissues in your sinuses are warm and damp and cozy.
But they're also tasty, and he's gonna get hungry, and then he's gonna start chomping away.
And the more he chomps through them, the closer he's gonna get to your brain.
And your brain Oh, your brain.
That'll that'll be like Christmas dinner.
He's here.
He's right here.
Get him out.
Okay, okay, Andrea.
This is what I want you to do.
I want you to take a great big sniff.
What? Sniff in? No way.
He'll end up somewhere behind my eyeball.
No, he won't.
Your sinuses will contract.
It'll help.
I promise.
Ready? Sniff.
There you are, you little bugger.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's so gross.
And he was in my face.
What is it? Oh, it's a leech.
Poor little guy.
Do you want to keep him? If you don't, I will.
What? What is that? I pulled it out of a lady's nose.
This little sucker had me working on one single case - all day.
- All day? All day.
So you just logged six, seven uninterrupted hours of trauma without even trying, all because of a stupid leech up someone's stupid nose? I think I'm gonna name him Herbie.
I'm gonna put Herbie up your nose while you sleep.
Amelia.
I am so Sorry? For being such a jackass? And for how I spoke to you.
I was out of line.
You think? I am sorry.
Good.
Don't go.
Not like this.
It just took me by surprise.
I'm not always good with surprises.
Me either.
Maybe we should get over that.
When we go without certain things for long enough, it's easy to forget Just how much we need them.
We forget what we had once.
We forget what it's like to live with a thing not that we need, but that we want.
The kids? Just put them to bed.
Derek? Wait.
Just Derek? Just wait.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
Tell me that this is all in my head, that there isn't something between us.
I know it's there.
I love my wife.
I'm married.
I don't want anything other than what I have with her.
I have to go.
Right now I have to go.
That's why it's so important for us to remind ourselves, for us to remember.
I am calling post-it.
Zola and Bailey and tumors on the walls and ferry boat scrub caps.
I thought D.
C.
was everything.
And I was wrong.
You You.
You're everything.
I love you, and I'm not gonna stop loving you.
Meredith, I can't live without you.
I don't want to live without you.
And I'm gonna do everything in my power to prove it.
I can live without you.
But I don't want to.
I don't ever want to.
Just because we can live without something, it doesn't mean we have to.
I'd take it apart piece by piece, then put it back together again.
I left my phone at the lab.
By the time I figured out I left it, I was already at the airport coming to you.
- And she picked up your phone why? - I don't know.
She probably thought it was me.
I called her from the airport.
Then she told me she spoke to you.
But inevitably, there was always a piece or two left over, something I didn't quite know what to do with.
Is that it? Is that everything you have to say? That's all there is to say.
I've told you everything, the whole story all of it.
But if you want, I'll go through it all again.
- And she's your research fellow.
- Yes.
Just your research fellow.
So, what do you do with that piece? Meredith.
I wish I could believe you.
You can.
I'm here.
I know how this works.
I was your resident once.
It seems like you came home because you thought you were in trouble.
Do you try to fit it back in? I came home because we're in trouble.
I came home to work on this, on us.
I came home.
Do you try to make it work? I have to get to the hospital.
Can't you get somebody to cover? Or do you decide you can live without that missing piece? You should spend the day with the kids.
They'd love it.
They really miss you.
Who is next? Uh, we're looking at neuropeptide "Y" receptors in marmoset brains.
Great.
That's that's great.
Which one of you is doing a thing where you're patch-clamping nerve cells? Oh, that's me.
Which one of you is "me"? What's your name? Uh, Collier.
Renee Collier.
Renee, how's it going? Pretty good.
How are you? I mean with the research, Renee.
How's it going? Oh.
Uh, it's it's going pretty well.
A few bumps in the road, but all things considered The synaptic timing discoveries you made will help us here immensely.
I want to see what you're doing.
Oh, sure.
I look forward to working with you.
Grey's Anatomy 11x17 With or Without You What do you got? of biliary atresia.
Chronic liver rejection.
Uh, waiting on donors, but he keeps deteriorating.
I'm I'm running out of ideas.
Let me take a look.
I didn't pull you out of Zola's dance class or something, did I? No, no.
Derek's home, though.
- Since when? - Last night.
- And this morning.
- And? - And what? - And do you know who answered his phone? His biliary outflow is strictured.
I want to examine him myself and get a new ultrasound.
Owen! Uh, Chief.
Hey, Dr.
Shepherd.
You finished your laminectomy in O.
R.
2? I did.
Uh, did you need ? Oh, I'm just trying to see if Bailey can get in here for a bowel obstruction.
Right.
- O.
R.
's all hers.
- Great.
I felt like last night's business was left Unfinished.
You felt that way, too? Many agenda items left unchecked.
Yeah, barely scratched the surface, really.
I think we need a follow-up.
Agreed.
When we won't be Interrupted.
Oh, my God.
Hey, how about How about tonight, if you're not on call? I'm not.
Okay, then.
Okay.
Hey, Jo, I need your help.
No, I'm not letting you do laundry at the house again.
Alex gets crabby when you leave your soggy clothes - in the washer.
- Stop.
I spent so much time with Dr.
Shepherd on that brain tumor that I'm behind in like every other specialty.
I just checked my hours.
I am so screwed.
Suddenly it's lonely on the neuro throne.
Hey, Wilson, Edwards.
I've got a lacerated spleen in 20 minutes, and Hunt had a personal matter come up.
I need someone downstairs.
Start with the headache in bed 3.
Wilson, it's yours.
What did I just say? She said "headache.
" It's probably neuro.
I'm doing you a favor.
Fine.
But if it's something good, you better call me.
Fine.
I just got a page? Oh.
Yeah.
Now, I don't want you to worry.
She's understandably embarrassed, so we went ahead and put her in trauma 1.
- Richard, what are you - Okay, now.
She's shaken up, okay? She's got a big bruise on her back, and and aside from a nasty head lac, there's no evidence of other injuries.
- Shepherd's with her now.
- Who are we talking about? I thought they told you.
Mom! What happened?! For heaven's sake, Owen, shut that curtain.
Everyone can see me.
Evelyn, try not to move, okay? Already gave half the neighborhood a free show just by getting in the ambulance.
She fell in the shower, right through the glass door.
Did you slip? I told you you need a support bar in there.
Oh, those things are so ugly.
- She said she got dizzy.
- Dizziness, huh? I'm not surprised with a laceration like this.
You had quite a fall.
I think we should get a head C.
T.
She said she was dizzy before the fall.
- All morning, actually.
- Really? We got this from here.
Thank you.
You can step outside.
No, I want him to stay.
John was with me when it happened.
I know, Mom.
You've been great, thank you.
My mom's really grateful.
But he's done his part now, Mom, so No, I don't mean since I fell.
He was with me when I fell.
I don't understand.
Well, I wasn't with her in the shower.
I was, uh I was making us some breakfast before I went to work.
Owen, I'm John.
As in "John.
" Yeah, I still don't understand.
Honey, John and I, we're I thought you told him.
Told me what? Is somebody gonna tell me what the hell is going on? I think what they're trying to say is John is Your mother's boyfriend.
How long has this been going on? She was dizzy when she first got out of bed.
We thought she was just hungry, so I That's not what I How long have you two been In a relationship? Mom, please.
Please don't use that word.
- Evelyn, any changes in vision? - No, dear.
We've been together a little under a year.
- A year?! - Dr.
Webber, what do you think? More X-rays, maybe, on her left wrist? Uh, I didn't realize she had hurt Just to be safe.
Sure, sure.
That's a fine idea, Shepherd.
Owen, John's very nice.
I think you two have a lot in common.
She talks about you all the time.
She's so proud.
- I'm thrilled that we're finally meeting.
- How old are you?! - Don't be rude.
- 35.
He's young enough to be my brother.
Does he have access to your financial information, - your pension fund? - Owen Hunt! Okay, pupils are equal and reactive.
This is a serious relationship.
But I'd still like to get that head C.
T.
- just to rule out a bleed.
- "Serious.
" Sure, okay.
Seriously weird, seriously misguided.
Not that we don't have our fun.
Hey, hey, hey, stay away from her! You hear me?! - Whoa, buddy, calm down.
- I'm not your buddy, okay? I'll be changing her passwords, her locks, her phone number.
- If you so much as attempt - Hunt! Let's take a walk.
Take a walk.
Hey, Danny.
Where's your sister? Probably trying to find more stupid stuff - to cram in this room.
- Dr.
Grey, meet Danny, Grey-Sloan's resident hockey freak.
Nice to meet you, Danny.
Do you mind if I, uh Hey, did you see the game last night? Yeah, you owe me 10 bucks.
Sharp had five shots on goal.
Yeah, and none went in.
Dr.
Karev, any news? We'll, uh, after today's scare, we ran another set of blood tests.
We think he's developing another infection.
Well, can we do the catheter procedure again - and drain the infection? - Well, we can try, but Actually, after looking at Danny's scans and ultrasounds, I think we could go in surgically.
Could re-create the biliary tree and prevent infection from reoccurring.
- Is that an option? - Uh, it's a risky one in Danny's state.
I'd prefer to continue with antibiotic therapy and just keep monitoring him.
But the surgery could help Danny while he's waiting for a new liver and possibly get him out of the hospital for a while.
Well, I'm in.
Living here sucks.
Well, let's not jump into anything yet.
Dr.
Grey and I will discuss it before we seriously consider well, why don't we run some more tests, and, uh, we'll let you know what we think, okay? So, you've had this headache for a month with no relief? Hmm.
Okay.
And where is the headache located? All over.
It it moves around.
Listen, I went to China last month.
Is this the bird flu? Or the the what what is it, the SARS? It's one of those.
I have a headache all the time.
- I get these nosebleeds.
- Nosebleeds? Yeah, the blood starts to come out, and then I got at it with a tissue, and it just goes back up.
Huh.
Is that normal? See, you're putting on a mask.
I've got the SARS.
No, this is just protocol.
Oh, hey, I see what you're talking about.
- Oh, God.
- God, what?! That's not a nosebleed.
So, Dr.
Avery attached the transplanted tissue to the arm.
And, as described in this morning's presentation The fresh blood supply has allowed the skin to regrow without the need for further grafts.
Dr.
Warren? Dr.
Avery will perform a primary microvascular aterial repair first and then follow with a venous anastomosis.
All right, Matt.
This all looks very good.
- We're gonna see you in the O.
R.
- What? I swear that never gets old.
Ah, if only that were true.
Okay, guys.
- Excuse me.
- All right.
Hey.
Edwards.
You need anything? You are pretty.
I'm sorry? Do you need anything? Do you want anything? Okay, that's, uh that's that's flattering.
But, um, I have a beautiful and very strong wife.
Ew, Warren.
No, I want your case.
Oh.
No, not a chance.
I will give you $50.
Nah, I can't do it.
Come on, I need to log more E.
N.
T.
hours.
And how is that my problem? Look at this.
Danny's in full-blown cholangitis.
What was that with Danny? Why would you bring up that surgery without talking about it with me first? You brought me on as a consult for my opinion.
I was giving you my opinion.
He's barely able to keep his blood clotting.
You really think he's gonna survive a surgery that big? I thought that's why you brought me on, because you wanted some new ideas.
Have you even done this procedure before? You came to me.
You brought this case to me.
- For your help.
- So then listen to me.
What's going on here, Mer? Nothing's going on.
Would you rather him sit around and wait for a liver and die or let me try a surgery I know I can handle? What's the deal here? Is this about your streak? - Are you kidding me? - Then what? What's going on here? What's your deal today? Nothing.
No deal.
I have no deal.
What in the world led you to develop this technique? It was for a little side hobby of mine.
- Which is? - I want to cure autism.
That's ambitious for a fellow.
Hmm.
What made you decide to tackle autism? Usually it comes down to just one.
My little sister.
Ah.
I just always wondered what she was thinking.
I hope you find that out.
Hey, why didn't you answer my text? 'Cause I was working.
- So? - So what? - How is Meredith? - What do you know? I know she's being an ass, pushing a risky surgery on my patient.
- She's on a streak.
- Go for it.
- Who was the woman on Derek's phone? - I don't know.
- She said nothing? - Yesterday, she couldn't stop talking about it.
All I know is Derek came home last night.
No.
- Crap.
- Crap? Why crap? A woman answers his phone, he immediately gets on a plane and shows up in the middle of the night.
He's here to apologize.
Because he has something to apologize for.
Crap.
I don't like this.
Mrs.
Hunt, I know this is hard, but I need you to not move.
I think I might be done.
Am I done? Not quite yet.
Try focusing on your breathing.
I'm not usually like this.
I was in the military.
I served in Vietnam.
I don't panic.
I think I'm just upset.
Well, you did have quite a fall.
Not about the fall.
About Owen.
I didn't mean for him to find out like this.
He has a right to be a little surprised Shocked.
But how does he think I feel? A guy like John chasing after a fossil like me.
It was weeks before I even realized he was dating me.
And then, one night he kissed me, and I'm not stupid.
I know how we must look together.
I know what people must think of us.
"He's conning her.
She's buying him.
It's a joke.
" It's what I'd think.
But then he kissed me.
And when he kissed me We were exactly the same age.
All those years between us disappeared.
John always says, "Ev, there's no difference between us except a bunch of years.
And, frankly, they're years I wish I'd spent with you.
" Owen's always worried that I'm lonely.
His dad died 32 years ago, so he worries.
But I'm not lonely.
I'm having the time of my life.
Am I done? In order for me to get a clean C.
T.
scan, I need for you to be perfectly still, which means No talking.
No talking.
- John sounds amazing.
- Doesn't he? It would be so much easier if he were my age.
But I got to tell you, it's so much nicer that he isn't.
Oh, God.
I know.
It's a little uncomfortable, but we can just get a good look at what's going on inside.
Please don't find a tumor.
No, looks good.
Your tissues look healthy.
- Aah! - Aah! - What's going on? - Nothing! I told you to page me if you had something cool.
Oh, it's not.
Sorry.
No, it's just a It's just another neurotic lady who thought her headache was a brain tumor.
So lots of, uh, ibuprofen and hand-holding in here.
You should you should go.
Find something worth your hours.
What was that? What was that?! It's some kind of critter.
What do you mean, "critter"? It's alive? Something's living in my face? It's using your sinus cavities to move around.
Oh, my God! I don't care! Just get it out! Hang on, all right? Hang on.
Let me put this mask on you.
Start him on an albumin drip.
I want the surgery.
Danny, we went over this.
No.
I want the surgery! Dr.
Karev is gonna drain the fluid, - and you're gonna feel better.
- No! I won't! I can't keep doing this.
I want the surgery.
It's really risky.
Your body's very weak.
- You don't know what you're saying.
- Yes, I do! I can't go out like this, sitting in some hospital bed, waiting, propped up with my special pillows, staring at crap that doesn't mean anything.
Some hockey puck you got signed for me out of pity, pictures of our dead parents who would have known better than to just let me sit here and rot.
- All right, hey, Danny.
- It's fine.
No, it's not.
It's my life.
It's my choice.
Dr.
Grey, I want the surgery, and I want it today.
Kathy, he's hurting right now, all right? - Once he feels better - Will he feel better? I mean, he's right.
It is his life.
He has so little control over anything else, but he's almost 18.
He should get a say in what he does in his life, right? That's what he wants.
I mean, he just wants to go to games and hang out with girls and junk out on popcorn with his friends at the movies.
He's miserable and terrified.
And I don't blame him.
Just I'll give consent.
Just do the surgery.
Absolutely.
You're still his guardian.
You don't have to do this.
Just tell me that it's going to work.
I spent my entire adult life taking care of him.
Now he wants a life, but he's my life.
I don't know what I would do without him.
_ - Renee? - Oh! Oh, God.
You okay? Yeah, I'm just, uh I'm sorry.
I broke a cup.
- I'll replace it.
- I'm not worried about the cup.
I'm fine.
I'm sorry.
Have a good night.
Do you want to talk about it? I've been measuring levels of activity and inhibitory cells in VPA rat brains.
For months, I've been patching and patching - for more than a year, actually.
- Mm-hmm.
I've been looking for abnormalities, and nothing shows up.
Nothing.
I'm wasting my time.
Do you know why you feel like that? It's because you're close.
You're very close to a breakthrough.
I've been there.
It's tedious.
It takes patience and concentration.
And you want it.
You want a breakthrough so bad that you have to break something.
I'll replace the cup.
I'm Stop talking about the cup.
Keep going.
You're right at the line.
You're gonna cross it.
Don't stop.
You should get some sleep.
Yeah.
I'll try.
Hey, so, I spoke to Dr.
Webber.
Your C.
T.
results came back.
You have a mild head contusion, so they're gonna keep an eye on it overnight.
I suppose you have questions.
No.
Um I brought you some, uh, pant uh, some ladies' underthings and, uh socks in case your, you know your feet get cold.
Patients are always telling me that their feet get cold, so I thought "socks.
" I spent your whole childhood telling you to be sure you had clean socks and underwear on in case you were in an accident.
Here I am.
No socks, no underwear.
Owen, ask.
It's none of my business.
I don't need to We met in a writer's group.
I didn't know you wrote.
Just stories.
Little things about my time in the service.
John liked them.
One night, we stayed late talking about my stories, and he shared some of his.
He he did a stint in the Navy.
And after a while, we realized we were the only ones still around.
He asked if I wanted to go for some coffee and keep the conversation going.
I did.
That was six months ago.
And somehow we've never run out of things to talk about.
So, that's it? Just coffee and conversation? Do you really want to hear about your mother's sex life? Okay, um Owen, does it matter that he's not what you pictured? Yes, it matters, 'cause there's something wrong here.
He's half your age.
He's younger than I am.
Mom, I think he's using you.
For what? For sex? Well, God bless him.
Stop it.
That's not what I meant.
For money.
Your pension, maybe.
That's what these guys do.
They they prey on older people.
What do you mean, "these guys"? John's not "these guys.
" There's no way a man like that could Could love me? Is that what you were gonna say? There's no way a man like that could love me.
Mom.
Just think about it.
For a moment, put your heart aside and try to think about it.
You should have told me right away.
I would have never let this guy do this to you.
It's not right.
It feels right.
I want you to go.
Mom.
I don't want to see anyone make a fool out of you.
And I won't let anybody hurt you.
Please.
I like your mom.
She's funny and smart.
- I mean, I'm not surprised.
- Is there a point? Owen, if it were my mom, I would be thrown, too, but from talking to her, it seems like they're really in love.
You spent 15 minutes listening to her, and you have this whole thing figured out.
I know nothing about this guy.
You don't know my mother, so please just stay the hell out of it.
We went to this beautiful lake Shh.
Don't speak.
With these waterfalls.
You'll scare him away.
Everyone on my tour was jumping off this big, high ledge into the lake.
I was so terrified to do it, but it was like the big, high point of the trip for them.
I didn't want to be the only one who didn't go.
I didn't want to miss out on the high point.
I'm so glad I jumped.
It was exhilarating.
Amazing.
It changed me forever.
Please stop talking.
Do you think that's when I got this thing in me? Andrea, don't move.
Come to mama.
Oh, no! Stop, stop, stop! - It's grabbing.
It's grabbing.
- Just a little more.
Just a little Stop it! Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Okay.
We're gonna take a little break.
Then we'll try again.
I'm not doing that again.
I'm not doing it.
We'll need to be very careful when connecting the graft to the posterior auricular artery.
And There.
Scissors, please.
Uh, hello, Dr.
Bailey.
Bribery, Edwards? You think bribery is an appropriate standard of practice in this hospital, bribing for surgeries? I don't know what you're talking about.
You tried to bribe your way onto that surgery down there.
Warren.
Sleeping with the enemy.
You demean yourself, and you demean medicine.
I'm sorry.
And it doesn't matter, anyway.
It didn't work.
$50? $50.
Do you know how much a full ear replantation would have gone for in my day? $100, easy.
$120, even, plus two weeks of night call.
You add in inflation, you should have offered him $175, at least.
$50.
We can't even go to dinner for $50.
Gelfoam, please.
I need more retraction.
Any more, and we'll need to extend the incision.
Well, then we'll extend the incision.
I need better visualization of the bile duct.
- His hepatic veins are bleeding.
- His liver's too scarred.
We need to stop, give him extra clotting factors.
- We can't stop.
- I told you it was a bad idea.
His body can't take it.
He's already deteriorating.
Let's pack him and get out.
We can't close him now.
He will die.
He'll be dead in a week.
How long has he been on the transplant list? Will he get a liver this week? I could do a hepatico-j to decompress the liver.
- That's crazy.
It'll never work.
- It's a chance.
I didn't ask you for a chance.
I asked you for an opinion.
Which I gave you, which I'm giving you now, which you refuse to listen to.
You hijacked my patient to perform a procedure that could kill him.
If you don't like my surgical plan, you are free to leave.
What the hell is wrong with you? Damn it.
He's dropping his pressure.
I'm putting a shunt in from the splenic to the IVC.
- The anastomosis is not gonna hold.
- It's the only way.
Right angle.
Hello? What are you doing right now? I was It's 1:00 A.
M.
How soon can you be at the lab? I couldn't stop thinking about your research.
You've been thinking about my research? Come here.
Come on.
Let me show you.
Look.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I know.
I told you.
It's all about the excitatory pathways.
Here, look.
See? Yeah.
Your blood pressure's dropped since the last check.
You feeling okay? I feel like I'm being made too much fuss over 'cause my son's the boss.
Okay, so, uh, the cat's fed, um, I got the recycling down to the curb.
I brought you some clothes and stuff.
I couldn't find your journal, so I just picked you up a fresh one down in the gift shop.
You didn't have to do all that.
Hey.
Hey, are you are you okay? Is she okay? I'm fine.
You've very, very sweet.
But I don't think We shouldn't be doing this.
Not anymore.
What? You don't need this, John a frail, old woman who falls in the shower.
Stop it.
Is this is this because Owen He's my son.
And he's been to hell and back.
And he does everything for me.
And if he feels that it isn't Hey, hey, Evelyn.
Do you believe that? Ohh! We need help in here! Oh! Aah! Aah! Aah! Okay, her abdomen's rigid.
- Evelyn.
- Step outside, all right? Blood pressure's dropping drastically.
She's going into shock.
Page Pierce, and get Owen Hunt.
Oh! I'm right here.
- Shunt is in.
- Bleeding seems under control.
- You seem surprised.
- I'm glad it worked.
You've questioned every move I've made.
You, of all people? I need you to believe in me.
Crap, there's I see it.
The anastomosis is leaking.
Come on, Danny.
What happened?! Ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm.
The dizziness, the bruising on her back they must have been caused by a sentinel bleed.
What the hell, Richard? How'd you not see this? Hey, all of her injuries were consistent with her fall.
None of us would have thought to look any further.
I know you're worried, but we have her.
Hey.
I need you to tell me why you're here.
I'm gonna go.
She told me to go.
- Good.
Go.
- I will.
But not until I know she's all right.
I know she doesn't want me, and that's fine.
But I can't just walk away not knowing how she is.
I can't just walk away from I know she doesn't want me, but I want her.
I have to know that she's out there in the world okay.
I can't go not knowing.
She'll never even know I was here.
You don't have to say anything to her.
I'll go the moment that I know.
But until then, I am sitting here in this chair, until I know that Evelyn is all right.
- Hey.
- He's okay, right? The surgery worked? Can I see him? Dr.
Grey? Kathy, um, I'm I'm so sorry.
Um, I'm so sorry for your loss.
No! Oh, my God.
No! - Tell me that's not - Yes.
The VPA cells are connecting almost twice the rate of normal cells.
- This is amazing! - Mm-hmm.
You're amazing! I could kiss you.
- Uh.
.
- Uh, I mean, I won't.
Obviously I won't.
Sorry.
But all the wrong turns and brick walls, and finding the answer is such a high.
Hmm.
It's getting late.
Um I should go.
Do you have to? Meredith! Mer, stop! - He should have lived.
- He couldn't.
You saw how messed up his liver was.
I should have saved him.
I could have saved him.
If you weren't bringing me down with your doubting and second-guessing and distracting me.
- Mer.
- He should have lived.
He should have lived! He should have lived.
What? Stop.
Get off! Stop it! Come on.
No.
- I'm mad at you.
- No, you're not.
- I am.
- No, you're mad at Derek.
You want to take it out on me, go on.
You want to yell and hit and scream 'cause things are hard at home, okay.
You want to be a mess, be a mess.
I don't care.
I can take it.
But in that O.
R You are not a mess in that O.
R.
You tried.
We both did.
You didn't do this.
You didn't kill that kid, okay? So keep it together.
We were able to repair her aneurysm.
- So she's gonna be okay? - Yeah, that's good.
She should recovery nicely.
That was one lucky fall.
If her aneurysm had ruptured outside of the hospital, she wouldn't have made it.
All right.
Thank you.
- Thanks.
- Mm.
Uh Tell your mom I said goodbye.
Oh.
I ordered this book that she's been searching for forever.
It was out of print.
I found it.
I had it shipped.
Uh, it arrived yesterday.
Um, it's in this little brown package on the table near the blue sofa.
Will you make sure she gets it? Yeah.
Thanks.
John, wait.
I told you to go.
Yeah, well, Owen suggested that you might be full of crap.
Hmm.
I asked him to stick around.
We've been talking.
Oh, God.
I wish you didn't have to see me like this.
I look so Shh, shh, shh.
You look beautiful.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, just relax, Andrea.
Dr.
Wilson said I could have a look at your little buddy there? - No.
- Okay, I feel for you.
I do.
But you got to let us yank him out.
- Wilson! - But it hurts.
I think he has teeth.
I know you're scared.
He is, too.
He doesn't want to come out.
He has found the perfect Safe home.
The tissues in your sinuses are warm and damp and cozy.
But they're also tasty, and he's gonna get hungry, and then he's gonna start chomping away.
And the more he chomps through them, the closer he's gonna get to your brain.
And your brain Oh, your brain.
That'll that'll be like Christmas dinner.
He's here.
He's right here.
Get him out.
Okay, okay, Andrea.
This is what I want you to do.
I want you to take a great big sniff.
What? Sniff in? No way.
He'll end up somewhere behind my eyeball.
No, he won't.
Your sinuses will contract.
It'll help.
I promise.
Ready? Sniff.
There you are, you little bugger.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
It's so gross.
And he was in my face.
What is it? Oh, it's a leech.
Poor little guy.
Do you want to keep him? If you don't, I will.
What? What is that? I pulled it out of a lady's nose.
This little sucker had me working on one single case - all day.
- All day? All day.
So you just logged six, seven uninterrupted hours of trauma without even trying, all because of a stupid leech up someone's stupid nose? I think I'm gonna name him Herbie.
I'm gonna put Herbie up your nose while you sleep.
Amelia.
I am so Sorry? For being such a jackass? And for how I spoke to you.
I was out of line.
You think? I am sorry.
Good.
Don't go.
Not like this.
It just took me by surprise.
I'm not always good with surprises.
Me either.
Maybe we should get over that.
When we go without certain things for long enough, it's easy to forget Just how much we need them.
We forget what we had once.
We forget what it's like to live with a thing not that we need, but that we want.
The kids? Just put them to bed.
Derek? Wait.
Just Derek? Just wait.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry.
Tell me that this is all in my head, that there isn't something between us.
I know it's there.
I love my wife.
I'm married.
I don't want anything other than what I have with her.
I have to go.
Right now I have to go.
That's why it's so important for us to remind ourselves, for us to remember.
I am calling post-it.
Zola and Bailey and tumors on the walls and ferry boat scrub caps.
I thought D.
C.
was everything.
And I was wrong.
You You.
You're everything.
I love you, and I'm not gonna stop loving you.
Meredith, I can't live without you.
I don't want to live without you.
And I'm gonna do everything in my power to prove it.
I can live without you.
But I don't want to.
I don't ever want to.
Just because we can live without something, it doesn't mean we have to.