Pointless Celebrities (2010) s11e18 Episode Script
Special
APPLAUSE Thank you very much indeed.
Hello.
I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to Pointless Celebrities - the quiz where the aim of the game is to find the most obscure answer possible.
Let's meet this evening's Pointless celebrities.
APPLAUSE And a couple number one.
Hi, I'm Luisa and I'm a comedian.
She makes me laugh.
Hello.
I'm Jenny Powell.
I'm a TV presenter and I love Luisa.
Oh, yay.
APPLAUSE And couple number two.
Hello, I'm Joe Pasquale.
And I'm a comedian as well.
Hello, I'm Terry Alderton.
I'm a comedian, and I'm also an impressionist, Joe! I do impressions.
APPLAUSE Couple number three.
Hello, I'm John Barnes - a retired footballer, and I'm not sure what I do now.
I'm Rick Edwards.
I'm a TV presenter and professional John Barnes fan.
APPLAUSE And finally, couple number four.
Hi, I'm Nina and I'm a ventriloquist.
Oh, no, she isn't.
LAUGHTER I'm Sally Phillips and I'm an actress.
APPLAUSE Thank you very much.
Very, very warm welcome to Pointless.
It's lovely to have you with us.
We'll get a chance to chat more, throughout the show as it goes along.
So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.
The Jeeves to my Worcester.
The Waddle to my Hoddle.
The "Jed" to my "ward".
LAUGHTER It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.
Hiya.
Good evening, everybody.
Good evening to you.
What a lovely line-up.
Wouldn't this be a lovely dinner party? Wouldn't it? I mean, a weird dinner party.
But a lovely one.
A few people have been here before.
They've come back with new strategies, I think.
Jenny's been here before, got knocked out in Round One.
Promising.
Well, Jenny, you did.
I did.
She's traded up.
Gone with Luisa this time.
Terry has done the same thing.
Terry got knocked out in Round One.
Terrible.
But he's teamed up with a former winner.
Joe Pasquale has won a jackpot.
Pretty good, Pointless royalty.
Rick Edwards has been on before.
Got knocked out very early on, which is unusual for someone who hosts a quiz show, as you would think Sorry.
I was pretty clear that you weren't going to mention that.
You were pretty clear with who? Well, I thought you, Richard.
Remember I took you to one side and said, "It would be "really embarrassing if you brought up the fact that I do a quiz show "and I did badly on this.
And do you know what? I wasn't going to mention it until you did that.
Then I thought, "Oh, OK.
" But he's teamed up with John Barnes.
So he's happy whatever happens on today's show.
Yes, I am.
And on our fourth podium - two absolute newcomers.
Nina and Sally.
Unknown quantities, who knows what's going to happen? We have got some very, very strong players on today's show.
Round One, the most British round possible.
Wow.
Hmm.
Looking forward to that.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
As today's show is a celebrity special, each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.
We are, therefore, going to start off with a jackpot of ã2,500.
There it is.
APPLAUSE Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.
You'll all know this already but I'm just going to say so we are just absolutely on the level at this point.
The pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.
OK? And there's no conferring, until we get to our head-to-head round.
Best of luck.
Our first category this evening is .
.
Meteorology.
LAUGHTER Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first, who is going to go second? And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.
OK.
And the question concerns .
.
weather phenomena.
Richard? Yep.
We're going to show you seven descriptions, dictionary descriptions, of different weather phenomena that are all on the Met Office website.
We just need you to tell us what those weather phenomena are, please.
We're going to give the initials too.
So seven on the first board, seven on the second.
14 in all to have a go at at home.
Very best of luck.
Thanks very much indeed.
So we are looking for these weather phenomena, suggested by these clues.
Here is our first board of seven clues.
And we've got I'd better read all those again Could you repeat that, please? LAUGHTER Jenny.
Yes.
Welcome back to Pointless.
Thank you.
Jenny, you made that programme about Romanian food and wine.
Tell me, Romanian wine? Hmm! Hmm? Yeah.
No, there are some good ones.
Some good vineyards out there, actually.
Really? It's on the same longitude as Bordeaux and places like that.
Yeah.
I came across a few.
I can't remember most of the wines now.
That's a sign of their quality.
A lot of pork.
They eat a lot of pork there.
Do they? A lot of pigs.
Right.
What are you up to at the moment, Jenny? Bigheads.
You are doing Bigheads? Yeah, that's the big show that's, yeah, sort of a cross between It's A Knockout and Spitting Image.
So that's the first time I've had to do commentary which was interesting.
How do you remember all the names? I thought I was presenting, but I had to be the commentator.
Also, you have to be a commentator alongside Chris Akabusi.
Yeah.
I'm actually deaf in this ear now.
Jenny, what would you like to go for from our weather phenomena here? Are there any scaring you there? Well, there's a couple scaring me.
I think I'm going to go for something that is quite obvious but something that I don't think that people will associate with being a phenomena.
And that is a natural electrical discharge of a very short duration and high voltage - lightning.
OK.
You're hoping to smuggle this one in through the "not really a phenomenon" door? Yeah! Lightning.
That's weird? OK, let's find out.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said lightning.
Quite weird, yeah.
87 is what you are scoring for lightning.
I suspect that won't be the only high score in this round, looking at that board there.
Lightning hits the earth 44 times a second somewhere in the world.
Not the same place.
No, imagine! 44 times a second.
Wow! Wow.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now, Joe, welcome.
Welcome back.
Joe, I have to say, one of the things people love you for is your voice.
HE LAUGHS I met someone the other day Yeah.
.
.
who had your voice Yeah.
.
.
but none of your wit Really? Yeah, can you imagine that? Imagine having your voice but quite seriously.
It would be annoying.
So which came first? I mean, did the wit come first or did you maybe bring the voice? When I was young Only dogs could hear me when I was about nine anyway.
So as I got older, it just developed.
I sounded like my mum.
My dad sounds like Barry White and my mum is like this.
It's not good, is it? I'm 56, I sound like Noddy with a headache.
But it's brilliant! Do you think if you didn't have the sense of humour, maybe you'd have changed it.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe.
People say, "Do you talk like that all of the time?" I've talked like this for 56 years, really.
It doesn't sound that weird.
Does it sound weird to you? No.
No.
No, it's not weird at all.
No, no.
Not at all.
I'm glad you think that.
Joe, 87 is the only score we've got at the moment.
What would you like to go for on our board of phenomena? I'm going to go for the first one.
Hopefully, it is the least obvious one.
Which, I think, is blood rain.
Blood rain.
I think so.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said blood rain for BR.
It is right.
And it passes our high score of 87 by quite a distance.
Still passing it.
Down it goes to 5.
Very well done indeed, Joe.
Yep.
5 for blood rain.
See, that's why he's a champion.
A very good answer, Joe.
Well played.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
John, welcome.
Welcome to Pointless.
Now you said you don't know what you do now.
You're a Liverpool ambassador, aren't you? I do.
So I've had 280 flights in the last two years.
Because, you know, the Premier League now is so huge all over the world - there's India, China, Australia, South Africa.
So I've been travelling a lot.
So, what do you do? What does that involve? You go off to these wonderful places Yeah, because they've got sponsors worldwide.
And, of course, you're just going for two days, three days.
We fly long distances.
We get a lot of flights but we're there for two days.
You go for a dinner and you meet people? You go to the conferences and the dinners of the sponsors.
Of course, I do media work as well.
So I do some stuff when there are matches on.
And with seven children, I'm more of a taxi driver and bank manager.
I'm a general dogsbody.
Seven children.
That explains the flights.
Aged between 32 and six.
Wow! That's a great range.
John Yes? .
.
what would you like to go for on our board here? Well, I know a few of them but I'm sure that I'd be very happy if I could even beat Jenny's 87 because I know some of the obvious ones.
I will go for "a mobile, destructive vortex of violently rotating winds "that looks like a funnel shaped cloud" - tornado.
Tornado, says John.
Let's see if that's right and let's see how many of our 100 people said tornado.
87 is our high score.
There is tornado, you pass 87.
77 is where you end up with tornado.
Yeah, as I say, there's going to be plenty of high scores, I suspect.
We get around 30 tornadoes a year in the UK.
Not quite as destructive as some of the ones in other areas of the world.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now, Nina Conti.
Welcome.
Lovely to have you here on Pointless.
Finally, we get you here - a famous puppeteer.
Yeah.
Now, how many puppets have you got, do you know? Well, one main one.
I have a lot that I don't use.
Do you ever look at them guiltily and think, "Oh, maybe it's time?" They stare at me, begging to help them to talk! Yeah.
Maybe I'm over puppets, I've been using people recently with those masks and they move and they do stuff and it's not as lonely.
Oh, that's true.
That's true, the puppeteer's dressing room is a lonely place.
It's all latex.
That sounds so wrong! LAUGHTER I mean, famously, the puppeteers of yesteryear had quite sort of strange relationships with their puppets, didn't they? Yes, I do have that.
You do? But that's the fun bit.
You can't pretend it's not weird.
That's missing the whole point.
You have to go deep into the weird of it and let the puppet say anything it wants.
They do sort of have personalities, do they? Well, I do for them.
It does help when I'm looking at the monkey's face, that helps me think of what he'd say.
Fantastic.
Now, you are the last person to have this board so if you want you can go through all of those blanks and fill them in.
I think I'm going to go for, although I'm not 100% sure "A system of winds rotating inwards to an area of low pressure," I think it's cyclone.
Cyclone, says Nina.
You're getting a nod from John.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said cyclone.
Is it the word?! It IS a cyclone.
Very well done indeed.
87 is still the high score, 5 is our low.
45.
Second lowest score of the round.
Very well done.
Well played, Nina.
That's a great answer.
They have cyclones on other planets as well.
On Jupiter they've got a cyclone the size of the Earth.
They've got two of them.
That's too big.
That's a big old cyclone, isn't it? There are some very big scores up there.
Jenny, yours isn't the biggest score up there, funnily enough.
The biggest score up there is the arch of colours, which, of course, is a rainbow.
And that would have scored you 92 points.
The prolonged period of abnormally hot weather - heatwave.
That would have scored you 82.
And this is just a very complicated way of saying .
.
cloud.
Yeah, and that would have scored 67.
So, blood rain very much the best answer up there, Joe.
Well played.
Thank you very much, Richard.
We're halfway through the round.
Let's take a look at our scores.
5, the best score of the pass.
Very, very well done indeed, Joe.
The lowest by quite a long way.
And then we find Nina and Sally, 45.
Good stuff.
77, John and Rick, not too bad.
87, Jenny and Luisa, you are out ahead, then.
So, Luisa, a nice, low score from you would be brilliant in the next pass.
Good luck with that.
We're going to come back down the line again.
Can our second players please step up to the podium? OK, well, let's put seven more clues up on the board.
And here they are.
More weather phenomena.
I'm going to read those again There we go.
Sally, welcome to Pointless.
Lovely to have you with us.
I'll tell you what I have to ask you about Oh, yes.
Not many people will know this The great, worldwide smash-hit film Notting Hill had a whole storyline in it featuring Sally Phillips.
Yes.
That then got edited out.
Yeah, I got cut.
I had a friend who was cutting the trailer.
"You're in the trailer, you're in the trailer!" And he came back going, "Yeah, today they came in and asked me "to cut you out of the trailer".
I was Pudding.
When Hugh Grant dates a load of unsuitable women, I was an unsuitable woman.
Did Richard Curtis sort of put the call through, I hope? I hope he personally rang you and said I did get a personal letter, yeah.
I did get a personal letter.
That was fine, though.
I think if I'd been in a larger part in Notting Hill, I wouldn't have got Bridget Jones and there's two Bridget Joneses and there's only one Notting Hill, so I think in the end There you go.
Actually, it has all come good.
Bridget Jones.
What a phenomenon.
Yeah, she was excellent, Renee.
Very good.
Now, OK, there you are on 45.
If you want to avoid becoming the high-scorers, 41 or less gets you through to the next round.
My problem, Xander, is that I don't know the answers to the difficult ones.
Oh! I only know the answers to the ones that everyone else knows the answer to.
Another name for the aurora borealis, that's Northern Lights.
Northern Lights, says Sally.
OK, well, you're on 45, as I say, 41 or less is what you want.
Here is your red line.
Get below this red line with Northern Lights and you are through to the next round.
Oh! 78, not bad.
123 is your total.
Yeah, I suspect that'll keep you safe.
I've never seen the Northern Lights, have you? I've always wanted to.
Yes.
Have you? Yes.
Up in the Arctic.
Well, obviously.
Of course.
Mind you, even there you don't see They're rare enough for everybody to get very excited.
Oh, really? Yeah.
You can see it from Britain, can't you? You can.
Certainly in Scotland and Northumberland, they say they can see them from time to time.
There you go.
There you go.
But very beautiful, very exciting.
Very exciting.
Now, Rick.
Hello.
Welcome to Pointless.
Now, let's talk about Impossible.
I love Impossible.
Can I just put it right out there right now? I think it is a fabulous show.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Yes.
I'm delighted.
And one person in the audience agreed with you! Two, two! But we are on Pointless so that's good news.
Yeah, great! Yeah.
It's a huge set, that, isn't it? I mean, how many people? Is it 30 people or something? We've reduced it to 24 but there's a lot of people.
It is a big old set.
I mean, I don't want to make a big deal but I think it's slightly bigger than this.
I'm just saying, guys.
I'm just saying.
OK, but it's nice.
That's fun company you're in there.
You get to know them all quite well.
They're there for a little while.
They're there for two weeks in telly terms and you get to kind of know the foibles of the characters - and there are always characters.
It's really good, isn't it? It is.
We have it when we have our breaks between recordings.
It absolutely coincides with when Impossible is on.
I always watch it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Thanks, guys! Yeah, it's great.
Now, Rick, there you are on 77.
45 or less keeps you in the game.
Yeah.
Similar problem to Sally, really.
I can see the ones that are going to be low-scoring.
But I don't know what they are.
So I'm going to play it pretty safe.
By saying "tiny drops of water that form on cool surfaces at night "when atmospheric pressure condenses", is dew.
Dew, says Rick.
Here is your red line.
That could be higher, let's be honest.
It could be higher.
Let's see how far down the column you get with dew.
There we go, 67.
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
67 takes your total up to 144.
I think you've probably done enough there.
Yeah, well played.
Everyone playing the same game here.
There's a couple up there which you think, "Oh, my goodness, that's difficult.
" And it's working out which are the lowest scorers of the others, I think.
Yes, indeed.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Now, then, Terry.
Welcome back to Pointless.
It's great to have you here.
Thanks for having me.
Now, my favourite Terry fact is that you were once a professional footballer.
You were a goalkeeper for Southend.
I was a goalkeeper for the mighty, mighty Southend United.
Yeah.
Remember? You told me you were at Millwall, watching.
We never played against each other, obviously.
Didn't you hang up the gloves and then you kind of went back as well? Weren't you brought back into it? There was an injury.
What happened was there was a thing on another TV station called The Match and I played in that game and then Southend were short for a goalkeeper so they gave me a call.
Gave you the nod.
And I was back.
You were back in there.
I was back.
But we had a player at the time called Freddie Eastwood and he made his debut and he scored in seven seconds and then got a hat-trick.
Completely upstaged me! Are you not tempted to maybe sort of get your Fifa badges? Got a feeling it's not going to happen at my age now.
I think I'm well past it.
I'll stick to doing what I do.
A bit of coaching, Terry, maybe? I just think it's easier just being a comedian and doing some MIMICS JOE: .
.
voices now and again.
There we are.
Listen, fabulous low score from Joe means you are already through to the next round.
So that is good.
Good.
Do you want to see if you can find the lowest scoring answer you can on there? Can I be completely frank? Yeah.
I've done this show twice and I've been appalling.
I don't think I've ever got an answer right because I've tried to be clever.
This time I'm playing it really, really safe.
So "a large rumble of crashing noise" LAUGHTER I've got a feeling that it is thunder.
Thunder, says Terry.
Let's see if that's right.
No red line for you.
You're already through.
How far down the column do we get with thunder? 92, good enough.
97 is your total.
Very well played, Terry.
Terrific.
That's eight better than you normally do.
That is terrific work.
When I was a kid, my brother told me that thunder was the sound of clouds banging into each other, and because it's sort of made sense to me - I was in my 20s before I thought, "No, hold on, that's not right.
" I was thinking maybe when Yeah.
.
.
whatever's in the cloud - that causes thunder.
It isn't.
There we go.
Thank you very much.
Luisa.
Hello.
Luisa, welcome to Pointless, great to have you here.
You are touring a show, Luisa, called What Would Beyonce Do? I used to tour a show called What Would Beyonce Do? Yes.
And I was very lucky, I got to go all round the country with it and I had a good time doing the Single Ladies dance for people.
Ah.
That's nice.
What would Beyonce do if she were on Pointless? Because I have to ask this, because we can't get her in next week.
She does keep asking.
She's on our case a lot.
I think Beyonce would surprise you and she'd actually I think she'd win.
She'd go through to the final and she'd just win hands down.
She's actually very good on general knowledge, Beyonce, and unfortunately I'm the opposite of that, which is why I just do shows about her.
Luisa, you're on 87.
You have to score 56 or less to stay in the game.
The second one is wind.
Bright spots appearing on either side of the sun formed by a refraction of sunlight through ice crystals in the atmosphere - prisms.
I want to go for prisms.
Oh, if that is right, I'm so happy.
LAUGHTER You're going to go for prisms, Luisa, here is your red line.
If you get below this red line - whoa! - with prisms, you are through to the next round.
How many of our 100 people said prisms? AUDIENCE GROANS Oh.
That was a very good try.
It was a very good try.
I have to say full marks for sounding right, because even though I've got the answer written down, when you said it I thought, "Yes, prisms, of course it is.
" But also I'd bet any money that everyone at home just said, "Prisms, of course, it's prisms.
" It's not, it's a pointless answer, so it is super, super hard.
It's a parhelion.
A parhelion.
Ah.
Have you ever heard of that? Is that Italian for prisms? Yeah, exactly.
Very well done if you said parhelion.
You were right, Luisa, about wind, but it would have scored you too many points.
It would have scored you 77.
Fog would have scored 69.
Now the other one is, there's an odd answer there, this scored 1 point, do you know what this is? No.
It's a Brocken spectre.
A Brocken spectre, very well done if you said that.
Well, there we are, thank you very much indeed, Richard.
We are at the end of our first round which means we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs, and I'm sorry, Luisa and Jenny, it's you.
187 is our highest score.
I know, I normally go about this time anyway.
Well, listen, it's been lovely having you on the show.
Thanks so much for playing.
Come and play again, Luisa and Jenny.
APPLAUSE But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.
And there we are, suddenly down to three pairs.
At the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye to another pair.
I'm sorry, it's just the rules.
Why are you looking at me? I don't know, I'm just you're in the middle, John.
Now, Joe, very well done, lowest individual score there, and Joe and Terry, our lowest combined score.
Terry, well done, thunder - getting the hang of this weather thing.
Very nice indeed.
Keep that up, it could be the head-to-head for you.
Best of luck to all three pairs.
Our category for Round Two this evening is .
.
Pop Music.
Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second? And whoever is going first please step up to the podium.
OK, and the question concerns Richard.
Yeah, we're going to show you a list of five music acts from different eras.
We're looking for any UK top 40 single any of these groups have had that has an A somewhere in its title.
So any UK top 40 hit which has an A somewhere in its title from any of the five artists you're about to see.
OK, thanks very much, so as Richard just mentioned we're going to put five artists up on the board.
They will stay up for the whole round.
We won't be changing them halfway through the round.
They stay up for the whole round.
You just have to name any song by any of these artists that contains an A in its title.
OK, here are our artists.
We have got I'm going to read those again.
There we are, we want any UK top 40 single that contains the letter A in its title.
Joe, what would you like to go for? I think I'm going to go for an obvious one, I'll go for the Beatles with A Hard Day's Night.
A Hard Day's Night, says Joe.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said A Hard Day's Night.
It's right.
Not bad at all, 14.
Very well done at the start of the round, 14.
Yeah, that even begins with A, it's got three As in it as well.
How about that? And the word A is in there.
It's got a lot.
It's drawing attention to itself, isn't it? Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now, John, what would you like to go for? Well, I was going to go for that one because, being from Jamaica, I thought maybe Bob Marley or some rap music or some reggae music might have come up.
However, I think I'm going to have to go for another Beatles song, A Ticket To Ride.
You're saying A Ticket To Ride, John says A Ticket To Ride.
Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.
Yeah, I'm sorry, John.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Bob Marley.
That's harsh.
Anyway, there we are, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer so scores you 100 points.
Yeah, it's just Ticket To Ride, not A Ticket To Ride, or a Ticket To Raid, or a Tacket To Ride.
How are they spelling ticket? I know, weird, right.
That's how we say it in Jamaica, "tacket", Tacket To Ride.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Nina.
Mm-hm.
I've forgotten all the songs in the world.
Yeah.
It happens, it does happen.
The only song in the world I can think of, and it's by the Beatles again, and it's Rocky Raccoon.
LAUGHTER Rocky Raccoon.
Rocky Raccoon.
Let's find out how many of our 100 people said Rocky Raccoon.
Oh, you're in very, very good company there, Nina, don't worry, it scores you 100 points.
And, yes I was honestly just thinking, after the meteorology round, we're going to have a nice simple one where we offer ABBA and Beatles hits, which is, you know, and I didn't think it would be this chaotic, I'm going to be honest with you.
I didn't envisage 214 points in the first pass.
Thanks very much indeed, Richard.
We're halfway through the round.
Let's take a look at those scores.
Only two scores between the three pairs, 14 the best score of the pass, Joe, very, very well done indeed.
A genius answer that turned out to be.
Joe and Terry looking very strong at this point.
John and Rick, Nina and Sally, all tied on 100 there, so Sally and Rick, it's going to be between the pair of you to see who stays with us and who leaves at the end of the round, so good luck with that.
We're going to come back down the line now.
Can the second players please step up to the podium? Sally.
Hello.
Titles of any UK top 40 song by any of these acts that contains the letter A in its title.
Yes, well, OK.
I can think of some, my friend, so that's good.
I don't know how obscure to go.
As obscure as you dare while it's still right.
Yes.
OK, what about While My Guitar Gently Weeps? While My Guitar Gently Weeps.
OK, there we are.
An A hiding between the T and the R of guitar.
Nice.
Let's see.
Is that right? You're the highest scorers at the moment so there is no red line for you.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said While My Guitar Gently Weeps.
Bad luck.
This is a problem quite often with Beatles songs.
We know them very well but it's very hard to remember which are the standout album tracks and were are actively singles.
I'm afraid that's got you 100 points.
That takes you up to 200.
Yeah, that exact trap.
It's such a well-known song you assume it's been a hit single cos it would've been for any other group but, yeah, not released as a single in the UK.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now then, Rick, you essentially here just have to get a correct answer.
Yeah.
99 or less keeps you in the game.
I was just going to go with a Beatles track and now I'm very nervous and I think I won't, just in case, so I'm going to go for Galway Girl by Ed Sheeran.
Galway Girl, says Rick.
Here is your red line right at the top of the column.
Get below that and you are through to the next round.
How many people said Galway Girl? It's right.
I think that's probably a very good answer.
Very well done indeed.
111 is your total.
Through you go.
Yeah, number two hit in 2017 for Ed Sheeran.
Got two As in it.
Two.
There's one to spare.
An A and a spare.
How about that? Look at that.
Thank you very much indeed.
Terry, listen, you're in the head-to-head and you haven't even done anything yet.
It's just on thunder, that's all you've done.
And you are in the head-to-head.
Talk about phenomenon.
Watch it, you'll conjure up the genie.
Terry, what would you like to go for? It doesn't matter what you score here.
Yeah, I mean, I can just go simple, can't I? I was going to go Duran Duran.
You can.
It would be fun.
Time to go out on a limb, surely.
All right.
I'll go Duran Duran.
I can't remember if the title of the song is Hungry Like A Wolf.
Hungry Like A Wolf? .
.
A Wolf.
Let's find out.
How many of our 100 people said Hungry Like A Wolf? No line for you.
You're already through.
This is just for fun.
I'll sing it for you if I get it.
I'll sing it for you.
It's very much Hungry Like THE Wolf, I think, isn't it? I should have just gone for Dancing Queen.
It's OK.
It doesn't matter.
It scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 114, you're through to the next round.
It's fine.
Yeah, Hungry Like The wolf.
Dancing Queen would have scored you 25 points.
Why didn't I do that? Perfectly good answer.
It doesn't matter.
You're through.
Because of the absolute carnage that went before you, you're absolutely fine.
The Beatles ones, there is lots of low scorers for the Beatles.
Day Tripper would have scored you 1, Magical Mystery Tour would have scored you 1 point, Back In The USSR 1, Strawberry Fields Forever 2, Get Back and Can't Buy Me Love, both would have scored you 3 points, Paperback Writer 4, Penny Lane 5, All You Need Is Love would have scored you 6 points, 7 for Lady Madonna.
ABBA we'll take a look at.
Gimme Gimme Gimme A Man After Midnight would have scored you 1 point, The Day Before You Came, 1 point, The Name Of The Game would have scored 1 point, Thank You For The Music would have scored 3.
Let's take a look at the pointless answers from those different artists.
Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall by Coldplay is a pointless answer.
In My Place, that's also Coldplay.
Lay All Your Love On Me, ABBA, was a pointless answer.
Make It Rain, New Man, both by Ed Sheeran, pointless answers.
My Own Way also a pointless answer.
Real Love, the Beatles, a pointless answer.
Save A Prayer by Duran Duran is a pointless answer.
We Can Work It Out by the Beatles is pointless.
Shall we take a look at the top three scorers? Mm.
It turns out they wouldn't have been anywhere close to the top scorers with all the 100s bouncing around, but these are the highest.
Oh, my Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
So, at the end of the second round, we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs, and I'm so sorry, we have two new members of the 200 club, which is exciting, Sally and Nina.
It's been lovely having you here.
Thank you so much for playing.
I'm sorry it proved such a challenge - but we would love you to come back and play again.
It would be nice to see you again.
Thanks so much, Sally and Nina.
Thanks for having us.
APPLAUSE For our two remaining pairs it's time for the head-to-head.
Congratulations, Joe and Terry, John and Rick, you are now one step closer to the final and the chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at ã2,500.
This is the part where we have to decide who gets to play for that jackpot - and we do it by making you go head-to-head, but the big deal is you can start playing as a pair, so you can chat before you give your answers.
In this round, the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot - but very, very well done.
Rick, new personal best for you, it's lovely.
Absolutely thrilled.
Broken through to the head-to-head.
We will never, ever, ever again mention your last appearance on Pointless.
No.
You can put that behind you.
You will never stop hearing about this one.
Yeah, no, and don't want to.
I don't want to stop hearing about it.
Terry, you have played a blinder today.
Can I just say one thing? The more worrying thing about this, how old is the song Hungry Like The Wolf? Oh, goodness me, I mean '82, '83? How many years, just quickly? 35 years? I've been singing that song wrong for 35 years.
You got the animal right, at least.
And Joe, just wonderful.
This is becoming your debenture here, isn't it? Yes.
On our low scorers podium.
I want to be sitting in that chair.
That's what I want to be doing.
Oh, you'd be very welcome.
Yeah.
Listen, very best of luck to both pairs.
Let's play the head-to-head.
OK, here comes your first question, and our first question this evening concerns Richard.
Going to show you five pictures from films of fictional fathers and children, but we've blanked out the face of the father in each instance.
Can you name the actors we've blanked out, please? OK.
Thank you very much indeed.
So can you name the blanked out actors playing fictional fathers in each of these film stills? And we have got There we go.
Five fictional fathers.
Joe and Terry, you are our lowest scorers, so you will go first.
Feel free to confer.
Do you want to go for D or E? Do you know C? No.
No.
So, it's between D and E for us, then? Well, E, for me, would be a lot harder if I was watching this show.
OK.
Shall we go for E, then? We're going to go for E.
And Will Smith.
Will Smith.
Will Smith for E, say Joe and Terry.
OK, Rick and John, talk us through the rest of the board if you can.
OK.
A, Sean Connery.
Indiana Jones .
.
And The Last Crusade.
D is Robin Williams and B What's his name? I think it's from To Kill A Mockingbird.
And his name I think the character is Atticus Finch, but I can't think of the name of the guy.
It's not Cary Grant.
No.
Um Yeah, we'll go Robin Williams for D.
D, Robin Williams.
So we have got Will Smith and Robin Williams.
Joe and Terry went for Will Smith.
Let's see if that's right for E.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Will Smith.
It is Will Smith.
21.
APPLAUSE Pretty good.
21 for Will Smith.
Now, John and Rick have gone for Robin Williams for D.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Robin Williams.
It is Robin Williams.
42 for Robin Williams.
APPLAUSE There we go.
Joe and Terry, very well done, after one question you're up 1-0.
Let's clear up the score for the top one first, cos you're right, it is Sean Connery in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade.
He would have scored you 37.
Oh, wow.
Now, the next one, you're right, it is To Kill A Mockingbird.
It is the character Atticus Finch and it is JOE: Gregory Peck.
Gregory Peck.
RICK: Of course it is! Would have scored 2 points.
Agh! Best answer on the board.
C, that is The Shining.
ALL: Oh! Which means that is Jack Nicholson.
Wow.
That would have scored your 4 four points.
There we are.
Thank you very much, Richard.
So, here comes your second question, John and Rick, you get to answer it first, but you have to win this one to stay in the game.
Good luck with it.
Our second question this evening is all about 1970s fashion.
Richard.
I'm going to show you the names now of five 1970s fashion trends but we've removed alternate letters from each of them.
Can you tell us what they are, please? OK.
Let's reveal our five 1970s fashion trends with bits missing.
Here they are.
John and Rick will go first.
Scarf? So, I think we know four of them.
John's worn all of them.
Yeah.
LAUGHTER I still wear them now.
Yeah.
Which is sort of semi-helpful.
We're going to go platform shoes.
Platform shoes, say John and Rick.
Platform shoes.
Now, Joe and Terry, talk us through that board.
OK.
The first one, we think, is kipper tie.
The next one, we think, is flares.
The next one is hot pants.
The last one is a scarf of some sort, but I can't see what the first word would be.
Want to go for the top one? Yeah, kipper tie.
We'll go for kipper tie, please.
You're going to go for kipper tie.
So, we have platform shoes and we have kipper tie.
John and Rick said platform shoes.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said platform shoes.
It is indeed platform shoes.
Down it goes.
Ooh, it's good.
Very good.
15 for platform shoes.
APPLAUSE Not bad at all.
Joe and Terry, meanwhile, have gone for kipper tie for the top one.
Let's see if kipper tie is right.
Let's see how many people said it.
15 is what we have to beat.
It is a kipper tie.
Whoa! Whoa! 8 for kipper tie! APPLAUSE Well done.
That means, Joe and Terry, after only two questions, you're straight through to the final, 2-0.
Very nicely done.
The only answer that would have beaten it is the bottom one which is the one that both teams couldn't quite get.
Flares is a big scorer.
The bottom one - it is a scarf.
It used to be worn by fans of the Bay City Rollers.
Oh! Tartan scarf.
Tartan scarf, yeah.
Would have scored you 1 point, so, well done if you said that.
So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid it's John and Rick.
Ooh, but it was close - it was closer than that scoreline implies.
You played really well.
Lovely to have you both with us.
Rick, very well done, we'll adjust your PB on our board.
Yes, please do.
Thank you so much for playing.
Come and play again any time you like.
John and Rick! APPLAUSE Well done, boys.
Well done.
For Joe and Terry, it's now time for our Pointless final.
Congratulations, Joe and Terry, you've seen off all the competition Yes.
.
.
and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.
You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.
At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at ã2,500.
There it is.
Well, you've done so well.
Yeah.
So well! He did all the hard work, though.
Yeah, all the heavy straining.
Yeah.
You did the effortless lifting.
Thunder.
Thunder.
Joe, this is going to be your third Pointless trophy.
Yes.
Oh, very exciting indeed.
Terry Yes.
This is where you step up to the plate, Terry.
OK, as always, you get to choose your category from the four we put up on the board.
Anything you would particularly like to see come up? Sport for Terry.
I don't know anything about sport.
Yes, sports for me.
Something like that.
Films.
Films are good.
I like films.
Yeah, films not too bad.
OK, well, let's see what's on the board.
Let's hope there is something that leaps out at you.
Today's section looks like this.
Ooh, hello.
Classic TV.
Yeah.
All day long, Classic TV.
Look at that - it's got to be Classic TV.
I know nothing about cricket.
OK, Classic TV Classic TV.
.
.
it is.
This has been on the board for a little while.
I've been waiting for this to come up.
We're going to show you three shows now all of which start each episode with a spoken word introduction from one of the characters.
Here are your questions.
We are looking for any words of six letters or more from the opening monologue to Porridge, spoken by Ronnie Barker.
We are looking for any words of six letters or more from the opening speech of The A- or six letters or more from the opening speech from the original series of Star Trek.
So you are familiar with all of those opening monologues - any word of six letters or more from those opening speeches from Porridge, A-Team or Star Trek - and that's Star Trek initially broadcast in the UK on September 8th 1966.
Can I just say? I think this is my favourite question ever.
It is a good question.
Everyone knows at least one of them.
You can go through them in your head.
OK.
Thank you very much.
As always, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.
There they are.
Your time starts now.
OK, Porridge - "Norman Stanley Fletcher," that's the only bit I can remember from Porridge.
That's all I can remember! OK, opening speech from The A-Team.
My God.
".
.
and if you can find them" Hannibal is I don't think they mention any of the characters' names in the first bit.
Star Trek, opening speech from Star Trek, is Oh"mission" Star Trek Enterprise "Mission" Blimey, I can't think of nothing there.
Oh You ain't said a word yet.
No, I'm thinking! I'm thinking.
All I can hear is you going, "A-Team, Star Trek and Porridge" OK, Star Trek, the original series, that's the most famous one.
Got to be six-letter words.
Six-letter words.
A mission to other planets and then aliens No, there was no aliens in the speech.
Just in the film.
Pointy ears, Spock, they don't mention him in it.
Mr Sulu is in it.
Er Ten seconds left.
How long? Oh, no, ten seconds left.
Star Trek "Boldly go where no man has gone before.
" "Boldly go where no man has gone before.
" How many letters in that? Boldly, B-O-L-D-L OK, that is your time up.
I now need your three answers.
OK.
What are you going to go for? Er, we're going to go for some Star Trek ones, I think.
We're going to go for the word "mission" Mission.
".
.
boldly go" Boldly.
Boldly.
These are the obvious words, so everybody's going to remember these words.
One more I don't really remember Star Trek.
How can you not remember Star Trek?! Just that little bit.
You look like an alien.
How can you not remember it? LAUGHTER OK, mission ".
.
boldly go where no man has gone before.
" Galaxy, shall we go for galaxy, then? Yes.
Galaxy.
Mission, galaxy, boldly.
OK.
Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer? Galaxy, then.
OK, galaxy goes last.
Least likely to be pointless? Umboldly.
Boldly goes first Yeah.
.
.
and we put the other one in the middle.
Yeah.
OK, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then.
Here they are.
We have got boldly, mission, galaxy.
There we are.
Very best of luck.
Now, if one of these were to win that jackpot for you, which charities are you playing for, Joe? I'm playing for Diabetes UK.
OK.
And Terry? My father-in-law has been spending some time, sadly, but also being looked after very nicely by Havens Hospice down there in Southend, so it's going to go there for old Del Boy.
So, Fair Havens Hospice and Diabetes UK.
Two great charities.
Well done, wonderful.
APPLAUSE Two lovely charities there.
Let's hope one of these answers will win that jackpot for them.
Your first answer was boldly.
In all three cases we were looking for words of six or more letters in the opening monologue from Star Trek series one.
OK, now, we have to find out how many people said boldly.
If it is a pointless answer, you leave here with ã2,500 for your charities.
How many people said boldly? Well, it's right.
That was never really in doubt.
We just have to see how many people remembered boldly.
If it goes down to 0, you leave here with the ã2,500 jackpot.
Down goes boldly .
.
20.
APPLAUSE I imagine that's probably quite a high-scoring answer.
Yeah.
Anyway, OK, let's move on to your next answer, which is mission.
This is more likely, Terry, surely.
If this is pointless, it will win you ã2,500.
How many people named mission as a word of six or more letters from the opening monologue of Star Trek? It's right.
Well, your first answer boldly took us all the way down to 20.
Mission takes us down through the 20s, we pass 20 We are into single figures .
.
9.
APPLAUSE It's moving in the right direction, I can't help thinking, Joe and Terry.
Mm, yeah.
Your third and final answer is galaxy.
We have to hope this is a pointless answer so you can win that jackpot for your charities.
Let's see how many of our 100 people named galaxy as a word of six or more letters from the opening of Star Trek.
Oh! Oh, no galaxy, I'm afraid.
APPLAUSE Well, you played that very well indeed, but unfortunately I'm sorry to say that there was no all-important pointless answer there so you do not win today's jackpot of ã2,500, however it is a celebrity special so we are going to give ã500 to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.
It has been lovely having you here.
APPLAUSE And don't forget, you get to take home a Pointless trophy each, so, very well done indeed, Joe and Terry.
Yeah, well played, gents.
I'll take you through the pointless answers.
We'll start with Porridge.
Loads of pointless answers in this one.
The opening scene, you could have had any of the following You also could have had allowed, commit, offences, accept, charges was a pointless answer, constrained, brought or pleaded.
Those are the pointless answers there.
Rather neatly, the top three answers in reverse order were Norman, Stanley and Fletcher.
Oh, that's nice.
Shall we take a look at the A-Team one now? Here's some pointless answers for you.
There's six in all.
You also could have had stockade or Angeles, as in Los Angeles.
Well done if you got those, and the Star Trek ones, there was only one pointless answer, and that was strange, as in, "to explore strange new worlds".
Very well done if you got any of those at home.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Thank you so much for playing, Joe and Terry.
Thank you.
Joe and Terry, everyone.
APPLAUSE Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.
Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard Goodbye.
.
.
and it's goodbye from me.
Goodbye.
Hello.
I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to Pointless Celebrities - the quiz where the aim of the game is to find the most obscure answer possible.
Let's meet this evening's Pointless celebrities.
APPLAUSE And a couple number one.
Hi, I'm Luisa and I'm a comedian.
She makes me laugh.
Hello.
I'm Jenny Powell.
I'm a TV presenter and I love Luisa.
Oh, yay.
APPLAUSE And couple number two.
Hello, I'm Joe Pasquale.
And I'm a comedian as well.
Hello, I'm Terry Alderton.
I'm a comedian, and I'm also an impressionist, Joe! I do impressions.
APPLAUSE Couple number three.
Hello, I'm John Barnes - a retired footballer, and I'm not sure what I do now.
I'm Rick Edwards.
I'm a TV presenter and professional John Barnes fan.
APPLAUSE And finally, couple number four.
Hi, I'm Nina and I'm a ventriloquist.
Oh, no, she isn't.
LAUGHTER I'm Sally Phillips and I'm an actress.
APPLAUSE Thank you very much.
Very, very warm welcome to Pointless.
It's lovely to have you with us.
We'll get a chance to chat more, throughout the show as it goes along.
So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.
The Jeeves to my Worcester.
The Waddle to my Hoddle.
The "Jed" to my "ward".
LAUGHTER It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.
Hiya.
Good evening, everybody.
Good evening to you.
What a lovely line-up.
Wouldn't this be a lovely dinner party? Wouldn't it? I mean, a weird dinner party.
But a lovely one.
A few people have been here before.
They've come back with new strategies, I think.
Jenny's been here before, got knocked out in Round One.
Promising.
Well, Jenny, you did.
I did.
She's traded up.
Gone with Luisa this time.
Terry has done the same thing.
Terry got knocked out in Round One.
Terrible.
But he's teamed up with a former winner.
Joe Pasquale has won a jackpot.
Pretty good, Pointless royalty.
Rick Edwards has been on before.
Got knocked out very early on, which is unusual for someone who hosts a quiz show, as you would think Sorry.
I was pretty clear that you weren't going to mention that.
You were pretty clear with who? Well, I thought you, Richard.
Remember I took you to one side and said, "It would be "really embarrassing if you brought up the fact that I do a quiz show "and I did badly on this.
And do you know what? I wasn't going to mention it until you did that.
Then I thought, "Oh, OK.
" But he's teamed up with John Barnes.
So he's happy whatever happens on today's show.
Yes, I am.
And on our fourth podium - two absolute newcomers.
Nina and Sally.
Unknown quantities, who knows what's going to happen? We have got some very, very strong players on today's show.
Round One, the most British round possible.
Wow.
Hmm.
Looking forward to that.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
As today's show is a celebrity special, each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.
We are, therefore, going to start off with a jackpot of ã2,500.
There it is.
APPLAUSE Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.
You'll all know this already but I'm just going to say so we are just absolutely on the level at this point.
The pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated.
OK? And there's no conferring, until we get to our head-to-head round.
Best of luck.
Our first category this evening is .
.
Meteorology.
LAUGHTER Can you all decide in your pairs who is going to go first, who is going to go second? And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.
OK.
And the question concerns .
.
weather phenomena.
Richard? Yep.
We're going to show you seven descriptions, dictionary descriptions, of different weather phenomena that are all on the Met Office website.
We just need you to tell us what those weather phenomena are, please.
We're going to give the initials too.
So seven on the first board, seven on the second.
14 in all to have a go at at home.
Very best of luck.
Thanks very much indeed.
So we are looking for these weather phenomena, suggested by these clues.
Here is our first board of seven clues.
And we've got I'd better read all those again Could you repeat that, please? LAUGHTER Jenny.
Yes.
Welcome back to Pointless.
Thank you.
Jenny, you made that programme about Romanian food and wine.
Tell me, Romanian wine? Hmm! Hmm? Yeah.
No, there are some good ones.
Some good vineyards out there, actually.
Really? It's on the same longitude as Bordeaux and places like that.
Yeah.
I came across a few.
I can't remember most of the wines now.
That's a sign of their quality.
A lot of pork.
They eat a lot of pork there.
Do they? A lot of pigs.
Right.
What are you up to at the moment, Jenny? Bigheads.
You are doing Bigheads? Yeah, that's the big show that's, yeah, sort of a cross between It's A Knockout and Spitting Image.
So that's the first time I've had to do commentary which was interesting.
How do you remember all the names? I thought I was presenting, but I had to be the commentator.
Also, you have to be a commentator alongside Chris Akabusi.
Yeah.
I'm actually deaf in this ear now.
Jenny, what would you like to go for from our weather phenomena here? Are there any scaring you there? Well, there's a couple scaring me.
I think I'm going to go for something that is quite obvious but something that I don't think that people will associate with being a phenomena.
And that is a natural electrical discharge of a very short duration and high voltage - lightning.
OK.
You're hoping to smuggle this one in through the "not really a phenomenon" door? Yeah! Lightning.
That's weird? OK, let's find out.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said lightning.
Quite weird, yeah.
87 is what you are scoring for lightning.
I suspect that won't be the only high score in this round, looking at that board there.
Lightning hits the earth 44 times a second somewhere in the world.
Not the same place.
No, imagine! 44 times a second.
Wow! Wow.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now, Joe, welcome.
Welcome back.
Joe, I have to say, one of the things people love you for is your voice.
HE LAUGHS I met someone the other day Yeah.
.
.
who had your voice Yeah.
.
.
but none of your wit Really? Yeah, can you imagine that? Imagine having your voice but quite seriously.
It would be annoying.
So which came first? I mean, did the wit come first or did you maybe bring the voice? When I was young Only dogs could hear me when I was about nine anyway.
So as I got older, it just developed.
I sounded like my mum.
My dad sounds like Barry White and my mum is like this.
It's not good, is it? I'm 56, I sound like Noddy with a headache.
But it's brilliant! Do you think if you didn't have the sense of humour, maybe you'd have changed it.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe.
People say, "Do you talk like that all of the time?" I've talked like this for 56 years, really.
It doesn't sound that weird.
Does it sound weird to you? No.
No.
No, it's not weird at all.
No, no.
Not at all.
I'm glad you think that.
Joe, 87 is the only score we've got at the moment.
What would you like to go for on our board of phenomena? I'm going to go for the first one.
Hopefully, it is the least obvious one.
Which, I think, is blood rain.
Blood rain.
I think so.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said blood rain for BR.
It is right.
And it passes our high score of 87 by quite a distance.
Still passing it.
Down it goes to 5.
Very well done indeed, Joe.
Yep.
5 for blood rain.
See, that's why he's a champion.
A very good answer, Joe.
Well played.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
John, welcome.
Welcome to Pointless.
Now you said you don't know what you do now.
You're a Liverpool ambassador, aren't you? I do.
So I've had 280 flights in the last two years.
Because, you know, the Premier League now is so huge all over the world - there's India, China, Australia, South Africa.
So I've been travelling a lot.
So, what do you do? What does that involve? You go off to these wonderful places Yeah, because they've got sponsors worldwide.
And, of course, you're just going for two days, three days.
We fly long distances.
We get a lot of flights but we're there for two days.
You go for a dinner and you meet people? You go to the conferences and the dinners of the sponsors.
Of course, I do media work as well.
So I do some stuff when there are matches on.
And with seven children, I'm more of a taxi driver and bank manager.
I'm a general dogsbody.
Seven children.
That explains the flights.
Aged between 32 and six.
Wow! That's a great range.
John Yes? .
.
what would you like to go for on our board here? Well, I know a few of them but I'm sure that I'd be very happy if I could even beat Jenny's 87 because I know some of the obvious ones.
I will go for "a mobile, destructive vortex of violently rotating winds "that looks like a funnel shaped cloud" - tornado.
Tornado, says John.
Let's see if that's right and let's see how many of our 100 people said tornado.
87 is our high score.
There is tornado, you pass 87.
77 is where you end up with tornado.
Yeah, as I say, there's going to be plenty of high scores, I suspect.
We get around 30 tornadoes a year in the UK.
Not quite as destructive as some of the ones in other areas of the world.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now, Nina Conti.
Welcome.
Lovely to have you here on Pointless.
Finally, we get you here - a famous puppeteer.
Yeah.
Now, how many puppets have you got, do you know? Well, one main one.
I have a lot that I don't use.
Do you ever look at them guiltily and think, "Oh, maybe it's time?" They stare at me, begging to help them to talk! Yeah.
Maybe I'm over puppets, I've been using people recently with those masks and they move and they do stuff and it's not as lonely.
Oh, that's true.
That's true, the puppeteer's dressing room is a lonely place.
It's all latex.
That sounds so wrong! LAUGHTER I mean, famously, the puppeteers of yesteryear had quite sort of strange relationships with their puppets, didn't they? Yes, I do have that.
You do? But that's the fun bit.
You can't pretend it's not weird.
That's missing the whole point.
You have to go deep into the weird of it and let the puppet say anything it wants.
They do sort of have personalities, do they? Well, I do for them.
It does help when I'm looking at the monkey's face, that helps me think of what he'd say.
Fantastic.
Now, you are the last person to have this board so if you want you can go through all of those blanks and fill them in.
I think I'm going to go for, although I'm not 100% sure "A system of winds rotating inwards to an area of low pressure," I think it's cyclone.
Cyclone, says Nina.
You're getting a nod from John.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said cyclone.
Is it the word?! It IS a cyclone.
Very well done indeed.
87 is still the high score, 5 is our low.
45.
Second lowest score of the round.
Very well done.
Well played, Nina.
That's a great answer.
They have cyclones on other planets as well.
On Jupiter they've got a cyclone the size of the Earth.
They've got two of them.
That's too big.
That's a big old cyclone, isn't it? There are some very big scores up there.
Jenny, yours isn't the biggest score up there, funnily enough.
The biggest score up there is the arch of colours, which, of course, is a rainbow.
And that would have scored you 92 points.
The prolonged period of abnormally hot weather - heatwave.
That would have scored you 82.
And this is just a very complicated way of saying .
.
cloud.
Yeah, and that would have scored 67.
So, blood rain very much the best answer up there, Joe.
Well played.
Thank you very much, Richard.
We're halfway through the round.
Let's take a look at our scores.
5, the best score of the pass.
Very, very well done indeed, Joe.
The lowest by quite a long way.
And then we find Nina and Sally, 45.
Good stuff.
77, John and Rick, not too bad.
87, Jenny and Luisa, you are out ahead, then.
So, Luisa, a nice, low score from you would be brilliant in the next pass.
Good luck with that.
We're going to come back down the line again.
Can our second players please step up to the podium? OK, well, let's put seven more clues up on the board.
And here they are.
More weather phenomena.
I'm going to read those again There we go.
Sally, welcome to Pointless.
Lovely to have you with us.
I'll tell you what I have to ask you about Oh, yes.
Not many people will know this The great, worldwide smash-hit film Notting Hill had a whole storyline in it featuring Sally Phillips.
Yes.
That then got edited out.
Yeah, I got cut.
I had a friend who was cutting the trailer.
"You're in the trailer, you're in the trailer!" And he came back going, "Yeah, today they came in and asked me "to cut you out of the trailer".
I was Pudding.
When Hugh Grant dates a load of unsuitable women, I was an unsuitable woman.
Did Richard Curtis sort of put the call through, I hope? I hope he personally rang you and said I did get a personal letter, yeah.
I did get a personal letter.
That was fine, though.
I think if I'd been in a larger part in Notting Hill, I wouldn't have got Bridget Jones and there's two Bridget Joneses and there's only one Notting Hill, so I think in the end There you go.
Actually, it has all come good.
Bridget Jones.
What a phenomenon.
Yeah, she was excellent, Renee.
Very good.
Now, OK, there you are on 45.
If you want to avoid becoming the high-scorers, 41 or less gets you through to the next round.
My problem, Xander, is that I don't know the answers to the difficult ones.
Oh! I only know the answers to the ones that everyone else knows the answer to.
Another name for the aurora borealis, that's Northern Lights.
Northern Lights, says Sally.
OK, well, you're on 45, as I say, 41 or less is what you want.
Here is your red line.
Get below this red line with Northern Lights and you are through to the next round.
Oh! 78, not bad.
123 is your total.
Yeah, I suspect that'll keep you safe.
I've never seen the Northern Lights, have you? I've always wanted to.
Yes.
Have you? Yes.
Up in the Arctic.
Well, obviously.
Of course.
Mind you, even there you don't see They're rare enough for everybody to get very excited.
Oh, really? Yeah.
You can see it from Britain, can't you? You can.
Certainly in Scotland and Northumberland, they say they can see them from time to time.
There you go.
There you go.
But very beautiful, very exciting.
Very exciting.
Now, Rick.
Hello.
Welcome to Pointless.
Now, let's talk about Impossible.
I love Impossible.
Can I just put it right out there right now? I think it is a fabulous show.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Yes.
I'm delighted.
And one person in the audience agreed with you! Two, two! But we are on Pointless so that's good news.
Yeah, great! Yeah.
It's a huge set, that, isn't it? I mean, how many people? Is it 30 people or something? We've reduced it to 24 but there's a lot of people.
It is a big old set.
I mean, I don't want to make a big deal but I think it's slightly bigger than this.
I'm just saying, guys.
I'm just saying.
OK, but it's nice.
That's fun company you're in there.
You get to know them all quite well.
They're there for a little while.
They're there for two weeks in telly terms and you get to kind of know the foibles of the characters - and there are always characters.
It's really good, isn't it? It is.
We have it when we have our breaks between recordings.
It absolutely coincides with when Impossible is on.
I always watch it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Thanks, guys! Yeah, it's great.
Now, Rick, there you are on 77.
45 or less keeps you in the game.
Yeah.
Similar problem to Sally, really.
I can see the ones that are going to be low-scoring.
But I don't know what they are.
So I'm going to play it pretty safe.
By saying "tiny drops of water that form on cool surfaces at night "when atmospheric pressure condenses", is dew.
Dew, says Rick.
Here is your red line.
That could be higher, let's be honest.
It could be higher.
Let's see how far down the column you get with dew.
There we go, 67.
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
67 takes your total up to 144.
I think you've probably done enough there.
Yeah, well played.
Everyone playing the same game here.
There's a couple up there which you think, "Oh, my goodness, that's difficult.
" And it's working out which are the lowest scorers of the others, I think.
Yes, indeed.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Now, then, Terry.
Welcome back to Pointless.
It's great to have you here.
Thanks for having me.
Now, my favourite Terry fact is that you were once a professional footballer.
You were a goalkeeper for Southend.
I was a goalkeeper for the mighty, mighty Southend United.
Yeah.
Remember? You told me you were at Millwall, watching.
We never played against each other, obviously.
Didn't you hang up the gloves and then you kind of went back as well? Weren't you brought back into it? There was an injury.
What happened was there was a thing on another TV station called The Match and I played in that game and then Southend were short for a goalkeeper so they gave me a call.
Gave you the nod.
And I was back.
You were back in there.
I was back.
But we had a player at the time called Freddie Eastwood and he made his debut and he scored in seven seconds and then got a hat-trick.
Completely upstaged me! Are you not tempted to maybe sort of get your Fifa badges? Got a feeling it's not going to happen at my age now.
I think I'm well past it.
I'll stick to doing what I do.
A bit of coaching, Terry, maybe? I just think it's easier just being a comedian and doing some MIMICS JOE: .
.
voices now and again.
There we are.
Listen, fabulous low score from Joe means you are already through to the next round.
So that is good.
Good.
Do you want to see if you can find the lowest scoring answer you can on there? Can I be completely frank? Yeah.
I've done this show twice and I've been appalling.
I don't think I've ever got an answer right because I've tried to be clever.
This time I'm playing it really, really safe.
So "a large rumble of crashing noise" LAUGHTER I've got a feeling that it is thunder.
Thunder, says Terry.
Let's see if that's right.
No red line for you.
You're already through.
How far down the column do we get with thunder? 92, good enough.
97 is your total.
Very well played, Terry.
Terrific.
That's eight better than you normally do.
That is terrific work.
When I was a kid, my brother told me that thunder was the sound of clouds banging into each other, and because it's sort of made sense to me - I was in my 20s before I thought, "No, hold on, that's not right.
" I was thinking maybe when Yeah.
.
.
whatever's in the cloud - that causes thunder.
It isn't.
There we go.
Thank you very much.
Luisa.
Hello.
Luisa, welcome to Pointless, great to have you here.
You are touring a show, Luisa, called What Would Beyonce Do? I used to tour a show called What Would Beyonce Do? Yes.
And I was very lucky, I got to go all round the country with it and I had a good time doing the Single Ladies dance for people.
Ah.
That's nice.
What would Beyonce do if she were on Pointless? Because I have to ask this, because we can't get her in next week.
She does keep asking.
She's on our case a lot.
I think Beyonce would surprise you and she'd actually I think she'd win.
She'd go through to the final and she'd just win hands down.
She's actually very good on general knowledge, Beyonce, and unfortunately I'm the opposite of that, which is why I just do shows about her.
Luisa, you're on 87.
You have to score 56 or less to stay in the game.
The second one is wind.
Bright spots appearing on either side of the sun formed by a refraction of sunlight through ice crystals in the atmosphere - prisms.
I want to go for prisms.
Oh, if that is right, I'm so happy.
LAUGHTER You're going to go for prisms, Luisa, here is your red line.
If you get below this red line - whoa! - with prisms, you are through to the next round.
How many of our 100 people said prisms? AUDIENCE GROANS Oh.
That was a very good try.
It was a very good try.
I have to say full marks for sounding right, because even though I've got the answer written down, when you said it I thought, "Yes, prisms, of course it is.
" But also I'd bet any money that everyone at home just said, "Prisms, of course, it's prisms.
" It's not, it's a pointless answer, so it is super, super hard.
It's a parhelion.
A parhelion.
Ah.
Have you ever heard of that? Is that Italian for prisms? Yeah, exactly.
Very well done if you said parhelion.
You were right, Luisa, about wind, but it would have scored you too many points.
It would have scored you 77.
Fog would have scored 69.
Now the other one is, there's an odd answer there, this scored 1 point, do you know what this is? No.
It's a Brocken spectre.
A Brocken spectre, very well done if you said that.
Well, there we are, thank you very much indeed, Richard.
We are at the end of our first round which means we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs, and I'm sorry, Luisa and Jenny, it's you.
187 is our highest score.
I know, I normally go about this time anyway.
Well, listen, it's been lovely having you on the show.
Thanks so much for playing.
Come and play again, Luisa and Jenny.
APPLAUSE But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.
And there we are, suddenly down to three pairs.
At the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye to another pair.
I'm sorry, it's just the rules.
Why are you looking at me? I don't know, I'm just you're in the middle, John.
Now, Joe, very well done, lowest individual score there, and Joe and Terry, our lowest combined score.
Terry, well done, thunder - getting the hang of this weather thing.
Very nice indeed.
Keep that up, it could be the head-to-head for you.
Best of luck to all three pairs.
Our category for Round Two this evening is .
.
Pop Music.
Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second? And whoever is going first please step up to the podium.
OK, and the question concerns Richard.
Yeah, we're going to show you a list of five music acts from different eras.
We're looking for any UK top 40 single any of these groups have had that has an A somewhere in its title.
So any UK top 40 hit which has an A somewhere in its title from any of the five artists you're about to see.
OK, thanks very much, so as Richard just mentioned we're going to put five artists up on the board.
They will stay up for the whole round.
We won't be changing them halfway through the round.
They stay up for the whole round.
You just have to name any song by any of these artists that contains an A in its title.
OK, here are our artists.
We have got I'm going to read those again.
There we are, we want any UK top 40 single that contains the letter A in its title.
Joe, what would you like to go for? I think I'm going to go for an obvious one, I'll go for the Beatles with A Hard Day's Night.
A Hard Day's Night, says Joe.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said A Hard Day's Night.
It's right.
Not bad at all, 14.
Very well done at the start of the round, 14.
Yeah, that even begins with A, it's got three As in it as well.
How about that? And the word A is in there.
It's got a lot.
It's drawing attention to itself, isn't it? Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now, John, what would you like to go for? Well, I was going to go for that one because, being from Jamaica, I thought maybe Bob Marley or some rap music or some reggae music might have come up.
However, I think I'm going to have to go for another Beatles song, A Ticket To Ride.
You're saying A Ticket To Ride, John says A Ticket To Ride.
Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.
Yeah, I'm sorry, John.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Bob Marley.
That's harsh.
Anyway, there we are, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer so scores you 100 points.
Yeah, it's just Ticket To Ride, not A Ticket To Ride, or a Ticket To Raid, or a Tacket To Ride.
How are they spelling ticket? I know, weird, right.
That's how we say it in Jamaica, "tacket", Tacket To Ride.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Nina.
Mm-hm.
I've forgotten all the songs in the world.
Yeah.
It happens, it does happen.
The only song in the world I can think of, and it's by the Beatles again, and it's Rocky Raccoon.
LAUGHTER Rocky Raccoon.
Rocky Raccoon.
Let's find out how many of our 100 people said Rocky Raccoon.
Oh, you're in very, very good company there, Nina, don't worry, it scores you 100 points.
And, yes I was honestly just thinking, after the meteorology round, we're going to have a nice simple one where we offer ABBA and Beatles hits, which is, you know, and I didn't think it would be this chaotic, I'm going to be honest with you.
I didn't envisage 214 points in the first pass.
Thanks very much indeed, Richard.
We're halfway through the round.
Let's take a look at those scores.
Only two scores between the three pairs, 14 the best score of the pass, Joe, very, very well done indeed.
A genius answer that turned out to be.
Joe and Terry looking very strong at this point.
John and Rick, Nina and Sally, all tied on 100 there, so Sally and Rick, it's going to be between the pair of you to see who stays with us and who leaves at the end of the round, so good luck with that.
We're going to come back down the line now.
Can the second players please step up to the podium? Sally.
Hello.
Titles of any UK top 40 song by any of these acts that contains the letter A in its title.
Yes, well, OK.
I can think of some, my friend, so that's good.
I don't know how obscure to go.
As obscure as you dare while it's still right.
Yes.
OK, what about While My Guitar Gently Weeps? While My Guitar Gently Weeps.
OK, there we are.
An A hiding between the T and the R of guitar.
Nice.
Let's see.
Is that right? You're the highest scorers at the moment so there is no red line for you.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said While My Guitar Gently Weeps.
Bad luck.
This is a problem quite often with Beatles songs.
We know them very well but it's very hard to remember which are the standout album tracks and were are actively singles.
I'm afraid that's got you 100 points.
That takes you up to 200.
Yeah, that exact trap.
It's such a well-known song you assume it's been a hit single cos it would've been for any other group but, yeah, not released as a single in the UK.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now then, Rick, you essentially here just have to get a correct answer.
Yeah.
99 or less keeps you in the game.
I was just going to go with a Beatles track and now I'm very nervous and I think I won't, just in case, so I'm going to go for Galway Girl by Ed Sheeran.
Galway Girl, says Rick.
Here is your red line right at the top of the column.
Get below that and you are through to the next round.
How many people said Galway Girl? It's right.
I think that's probably a very good answer.
Very well done indeed.
111 is your total.
Through you go.
Yeah, number two hit in 2017 for Ed Sheeran.
Got two As in it.
Two.
There's one to spare.
An A and a spare.
How about that? Look at that.
Thank you very much indeed.
Terry, listen, you're in the head-to-head and you haven't even done anything yet.
It's just on thunder, that's all you've done.
And you are in the head-to-head.
Talk about phenomenon.
Watch it, you'll conjure up the genie.
Terry, what would you like to go for? It doesn't matter what you score here.
Yeah, I mean, I can just go simple, can't I? I was going to go Duran Duran.
You can.
It would be fun.
Time to go out on a limb, surely.
All right.
I'll go Duran Duran.
I can't remember if the title of the song is Hungry Like A Wolf.
Hungry Like A Wolf? .
.
A Wolf.
Let's find out.
How many of our 100 people said Hungry Like A Wolf? No line for you.
You're already through.
This is just for fun.
I'll sing it for you if I get it.
I'll sing it for you.
It's very much Hungry Like THE Wolf, I think, isn't it? I should have just gone for Dancing Queen.
It's OK.
It doesn't matter.
It scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 114, you're through to the next round.
It's fine.
Yeah, Hungry Like The wolf.
Dancing Queen would have scored you 25 points.
Why didn't I do that? Perfectly good answer.
It doesn't matter.
You're through.
Because of the absolute carnage that went before you, you're absolutely fine.
The Beatles ones, there is lots of low scorers for the Beatles.
Day Tripper would have scored you 1, Magical Mystery Tour would have scored you 1 point, Back In The USSR 1, Strawberry Fields Forever 2, Get Back and Can't Buy Me Love, both would have scored you 3 points, Paperback Writer 4, Penny Lane 5, All You Need Is Love would have scored you 6 points, 7 for Lady Madonna.
ABBA we'll take a look at.
Gimme Gimme Gimme A Man After Midnight would have scored you 1 point, The Day Before You Came, 1 point, The Name Of The Game would have scored 1 point, Thank You For The Music would have scored 3.
Let's take a look at the pointless answers from those different artists.
Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall by Coldplay is a pointless answer.
In My Place, that's also Coldplay.
Lay All Your Love On Me, ABBA, was a pointless answer.
Make It Rain, New Man, both by Ed Sheeran, pointless answers.
My Own Way also a pointless answer.
Real Love, the Beatles, a pointless answer.
Save A Prayer by Duran Duran is a pointless answer.
We Can Work It Out by the Beatles is pointless.
Shall we take a look at the top three scorers? Mm.
It turns out they wouldn't have been anywhere close to the top scorers with all the 100s bouncing around, but these are the highest.
Oh, my Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
So, at the end of the second round, we have to say goodbye to one of our pairs, and I'm so sorry, we have two new members of the 200 club, which is exciting, Sally and Nina.
It's been lovely having you here.
Thank you so much for playing.
I'm sorry it proved such a challenge - but we would love you to come back and play again.
It would be nice to see you again.
Thanks so much, Sally and Nina.
Thanks for having us.
APPLAUSE For our two remaining pairs it's time for the head-to-head.
Congratulations, Joe and Terry, John and Rick, you are now one step closer to the final and the chance to play for our jackpot, which currently stands at ã2,500.
This is the part where we have to decide who gets to play for that jackpot - and we do it by making you go head-to-head, but the big deal is you can start playing as a pair, so you can chat before you give your answers.
In this round, the first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot - but very, very well done.
Rick, new personal best for you, it's lovely.
Absolutely thrilled.
Broken through to the head-to-head.
We will never, ever, ever again mention your last appearance on Pointless.
No.
You can put that behind you.
You will never stop hearing about this one.
Yeah, no, and don't want to.
I don't want to stop hearing about it.
Terry, you have played a blinder today.
Can I just say one thing? The more worrying thing about this, how old is the song Hungry Like The Wolf? Oh, goodness me, I mean '82, '83? How many years, just quickly? 35 years? I've been singing that song wrong for 35 years.
You got the animal right, at least.
And Joe, just wonderful.
This is becoming your debenture here, isn't it? Yes.
On our low scorers podium.
I want to be sitting in that chair.
That's what I want to be doing.
Oh, you'd be very welcome.
Yeah.
Listen, very best of luck to both pairs.
Let's play the head-to-head.
OK, here comes your first question, and our first question this evening concerns Richard.
Going to show you five pictures from films of fictional fathers and children, but we've blanked out the face of the father in each instance.
Can you name the actors we've blanked out, please? OK.
Thank you very much indeed.
So can you name the blanked out actors playing fictional fathers in each of these film stills? And we have got There we go.
Five fictional fathers.
Joe and Terry, you are our lowest scorers, so you will go first.
Feel free to confer.
Do you want to go for D or E? Do you know C? No.
No.
So, it's between D and E for us, then? Well, E, for me, would be a lot harder if I was watching this show.
OK.
Shall we go for E, then? We're going to go for E.
And Will Smith.
Will Smith.
Will Smith for E, say Joe and Terry.
OK, Rick and John, talk us through the rest of the board if you can.
OK.
A, Sean Connery.
Indiana Jones .
.
And The Last Crusade.
D is Robin Williams and B What's his name? I think it's from To Kill A Mockingbird.
And his name I think the character is Atticus Finch, but I can't think of the name of the guy.
It's not Cary Grant.
No.
Um Yeah, we'll go Robin Williams for D.
D, Robin Williams.
So we have got Will Smith and Robin Williams.
Joe and Terry went for Will Smith.
Let's see if that's right for E.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Will Smith.
It is Will Smith.
21.
APPLAUSE Pretty good.
21 for Will Smith.
Now, John and Rick have gone for Robin Williams for D.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Robin Williams.
It is Robin Williams.
42 for Robin Williams.
APPLAUSE There we go.
Joe and Terry, very well done, after one question you're up 1-0.
Let's clear up the score for the top one first, cos you're right, it is Sean Connery in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade.
He would have scored you 37.
Oh, wow.
Now, the next one, you're right, it is To Kill A Mockingbird.
It is the character Atticus Finch and it is JOE: Gregory Peck.
Gregory Peck.
RICK: Of course it is! Would have scored 2 points.
Agh! Best answer on the board.
C, that is The Shining.
ALL: Oh! Which means that is Jack Nicholson.
Wow.
That would have scored your 4 four points.
There we are.
Thank you very much, Richard.
So, here comes your second question, John and Rick, you get to answer it first, but you have to win this one to stay in the game.
Good luck with it.
Our second question this evening is all about 1970s fashion.
Richard.
I'm going to show you the names now of five 1970s fashion trends but we've removed alternate letters from each of them.
Can you tell us what they are, please? OK.
Let's reveal our five 1970s fashion trends with bits missing.
Here they are.
John and Rick will go first.
Scarf? So, I think we know four of them.
John's worn all of them.
Yeah.
LAUGHTER I still wear them now.
Yeah.
Which is sort of semi-helpful.
We're going to go platform shoes.
Platform shoes, say John and Rick.
Platform shoes.
Now, Joe and Terry, talk us through that board.
OK.
The first one, we think, is kipper tie.
The next one, we think, is flares.
The next one is hot pants.
The last one is a scarf of some sort, but I can't see what the first word would be.
Want to go for the top one? Yeah, kipper tie.
We'll go for kipper tie, please.
You're going to go for kipper tie.
So, we have platform shoes and we have kipper tie.
John and Rick said platform shoes.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said platform shoes.
It is indeed platform shoes.
Down it goes.
Ooh, it's good.
Very good.
15 for platform shoes.
APPLAUSE Not bad at all.
Joe and Terry, meanwhile, have gone for kipper tie for the top one.
Let's see if kipper tie is right.
Let's see how many people said it.
15 is what we have to beat.
It is a kipper tie.
Whoa! Whoa! 8 for kipper tie! APPLAUSE Well done.
That means, Joe and Terry, after only two questions, you're straight through to the final, 2-0.
Very nicely done.
The only answer that would have beaten it is the bottom one which is the one that both teams couldn't quite get.
Flares is a big scorer.
The bottom one - it is a scarf.
It used to be worn by fans of the Bay City Rollers.
Oh! Tartan scarf.
Tartan scarf, yeah.
Would have scored you 1 point, so, well done if you said that.
So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid it's John and Rick.
Ooh, but it was close - it was closer than that scoreline implies.
You played really well.
Lovely to have you both with us.
Rick, very well done, we'll adjust your PB on our board.
Yes, please do.
Thank you so much for playing.
Come and play again any time you like.
John and Rick! APPLAUSE Well done, boys.
Well done.
For Joe and Terry, it's now time for our Pointless final.
Congratulations, Joe and Terry, you've seen off all the competition Yes.
.
.
and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.
You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.
At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at ã2,500.
There it is.
Well, you've done so well.
Yeah.
So well! He did all the hard work, though.
Yeah, all the heavy straining.
Yeah.
You did the effortless lifting.
Thunder.
Thunder.
Joe, this is going to be your third Pointless trophy.
Yes.
Oh, very exciting indeed.
Terry Yes.
This is where you step up to the plate, Terry.
OK, as always, you get to choose your category from the four we put up on the board.
Anything you would particularly like to see come up? Sport for Terry.
I don't know anything about sport.
Yes, sports for me.
Something like that.
Films.
Films are good.
I like films.
Yeah, films not too bad.
OK, well, let's see what's on the board.
Let's hope there is something that leaps out at you.
Today's section looks like this.
Ooh, hello.
Classic TV.
Yeah.
All day long, Classic TV.
Look at that - it's got to be Classic TV.
I know nothing about cricket.
OK, Classic TV Classic TV.
.
.
it is.
This has been on the board for a little while.
I've been waiting for this to come up.
We're going to show you three shows now all of which start each episode with a spoken word introduction from one of the characters.
Here are your questions.
We are looking for any words of six letters or more from the opening monologue to Porridge, spoken by Ronnie Barker.
We are looking for any words of six letters or more from the opening speech of The A- or six letters or more from the opening speech from the original series of Star Trek.
So you are familiar with all of those opening monologues - any word of six letters or more from those opening speeches from Porridge, A-Team or Star Trek - and that's Star Trek initially broadcast in the UK on September 8th 1966.
Can I just say? I think this is my favourite question ever.
It is a good question.
Everyone knows at least one of them.
You can go through them in your head.
OK.
Thank you very much.
As always, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers and all you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.
There they are.
Your time starts now.
OK, Porridge - "Norman Stanley Fletcher," that's the only bit I can remember from Porridge.
That's all I can remember! OK, opening speech from The A-Team.
My God.
".
.
and if you can find them" Hannibal is I don't think they mention any of the characters' names in the first bit.
Star Trek, opening speech from Star Trek, is Oh"mission" Star Trek Enterprise "Mission" Blimey, I can't think of nothing there.
Oh You ain't said a word yet.
No, I'm thinking! I'm thinking.
All I can hear is you going, "A-Team, Star Trek and Porridge" OK, Star Trek, the original series, that's the most famous one.
Got to be six-letter words.
Six-letter words.
A mission to other planets and then aliens No, there was no aliens in the speech.
Just in the film.
Pointy ears, Spock, they don't mention him in it.
Mr Sulu is in it.
Er Ten seconds left.
How long? Oh, no, ten seconds left.
Star Trek "Boldly go where no man has gone before.
" "Boldly go where no man has gone before.
" How many letters in that? Boldly, B-O-L-D-L OK, that is your time up.
I now need your three answers.
OK.
What are you going to go for? Er, we're going to go for some Star Trek ones, I think.
We're going to go for the word "mission" Mission.
".
.
boldly go" Boldly.
Boldly.
These are the obvious words, so everybody's going to remember these words.
One more I don't really remember Star Trek.
How can you not remember Star Trek?! Just that little bit.
You look like an alien.
How can you not remember it? LAUGHTER OK, mission ".
.
boldly go where no man has gone before.
" Galaxy, shall we go for galaxy, then? Yes.
Galaxy.
Mission, galaxy, boldly.
OK.
Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer? Galaxy, then.
OK, galaxy goes last.
Least likely to be pointless? Umboldly.
Boldly goes first Yeah.
.
.
and we put the other one in the middle.
Yeah.
OK, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then.
Here they are.
We have got boldly, mission, galaxy.
There we are.
Very best of luck.
Now, if one of these were to win that jackpot for you, which charities are you playing for, Joe? I'm playing for Diabetes UK.
OK.
And Terry? My father-in-law has been spending some time, sadly, but also being looked after very nicely by Havens Hospice down there in Southend, so it's going to go there for old Del Boy.
So, Fair Havens Hospice and Diabetes UK.
Two great charities.
Well done, wonderful.
APPLAUSE Two lovely charities there.
Let's hope one of these answers will win that jackpot for them.
Your first answer was boldly.
In all three cases we were looking for words of six or more letters in the opening monologue from Star Trek series one.
OK, now, we have to find out how many people said boldly.
If it is a pointless answer, you leave here with ã2,500 for your charities.
How many people said boldly? Well, it's right.
That was never really in doubt.
We just have to see how many people remembered boldly.
If it goes down to 0, you leave here with the ã2,500 jackpot.
Down goes boldly .
.
20.
APPLAUSE I imagine that's probably quite a high-scoring answer.
Yeah.
Anyway, OK, let's move on to your next answer, which is mission.
This is more likely, Terry, surely.
If this is pointless, it will win you ã2,500.
How many people named mission as a word of six or more letters from the opening monologue of Star Trek? It's right.
Well, your first answer boldly took us all the way down to 20.
Mission takes us down through the 20s, we pass 20 We are into single figures .
.
9.
APPLAUSE It's moving in the right direction, I can't help thinking, Joe and Terry.
Mm, yeah.
Your third and final answer is galaxy.
We have to hope this is a pointless answer so you can win that jackpot for your charities.
Let's see how many of our 100 people named galaxy as a word of six or more letters from the opening of Star Trek.
Oh! Oh, no galaxy, I'm afraid.
APPLAUSE Well, you played that very well indeed, but unfortunately I'm sorry to say that there was no all-important pointless answer there so you do not win today's jackpot of ã2,500, however it is a celebrity special so we are going to give ã500 to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.
It has been lovely having you here.
APPLAUSE And don't forget, you get to take home a Pointless trophy each, so, very well done indeed, Joe and Terry.
Yeah, well played, gents.
I'll take you through the pointless answers.
We'll start with Porridge.
Loads of pointless answers in this one.
The opening scene, you could have had any of the following You also could have had allowed, commit, offences, accept, charges was a pointless answer, constrained, brought or pleaded.
Those are the pointless answers there.
Rather neatly, the top three answers in reverse order were Norman, Stanley and Fletcher.
Oh, that's nice.
Shall we take a look at the A-Team one now? Here's some pointless answers for you.
There's six in all.
You also could have had stockade or Angeles, as in Los Angeles.
Well done if you got those, and the Star Trek ones, there was only one pointless answer, and that was strange, as in, "to explore strange new worlds".
Very well done if you got any of those at home.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Thank you so much for playing, Joe and Terry.
Thank you.
Joe and Terry, everyone.
APPLAUSE Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.
Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard Goodbye.
.
.
and it's goodbye from me.
Goodbye.