Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (2014) s11e23 Episode Script
Disability Benefits
Welcome "Last Week Tonight"!
I'm John Oliver,
thank you so much for joining us.
It has been a busy week,
from Mark Robinson's gubernatorial
campaign being derailed
by reports of his commenting, among
other things, "I'm a Black Nazi"
in, and this is true, a porn forum,
to a mayoral debate in Sao Paulo
getting ugly
after one of the candidates
hit the other with a metal chair.
But we're gonna focus on the debate
we missed while we were off last week.
Specifically, this exceptional moment
in American oratory.
In Springfield, they're eating
the dogs, the people that came in.
They're eating the cats. They're eating
the pets of the people that live there.
Yeah, that was Donald Trump
accusing Haitian immigrants
of killing and eating people's pets.
And can you even remember a time
when something like that
would've been disqualifying?
Because I can't anymore!
Republicans have now nominated
Trump three times,
Democrats have so far lost to him
half the time,
and this election is still inexplicably
close, because unfortunately,
some Americans watched that
and thought,
"I don't like how Kamala laughed when
he called immigrants dog-eaters.
That wasn't very presidential."
I know that happened
over a week ago,
and there've been plenty
of cat-eating jokes since,
but I still want to talk about this,
both because the chaos Trump
stirred up in Springfield is ongoing,
and because it feels emblematic
of his campaign.
And before we go any further:
to be clear,
city officials insist there is
no evidence
of what Trump confidently
spewed to 67 million people.
And in doing so, he was actually
repeating something
that'd been posted by his running mate,
JD Vance,
a man who always looks like
a yassified chip munk,
the day before the debate.
He posted that "Haitian illegal
immigrants" were causing chaos
all over Springfield, Ohio,
and "reports now show that people
have had their pets abducted
and eaten by people
who shouldn't be in this country".
Which, among other things,
makes it sound like eating pets
is a right reserved for natural-born
Americans.
And when asked about it since,
Vance has insisted he was
just reflecting people's concerns.
The media has tried to say now
for days that I've made up this story.
I haven't made up anything.
I've just listened to people
who were telling me these things.
Wait. "If enough people say it,
I repeat it"?
It is not ideal when an aspiring vice
president's guiding philosophy
is indistinguishable
from a fucking parrot's.
And look, obviously, an attack
like this isn't remotely new.
We've demonized immigrants
in all sorts of ways,
including by accusing them
of eating pets, for centuries now.
But it is worth looking at what's
actually been happening in Springfield,
because it's interesting,
and reveals how far from just
"repeating claims he's heard"
Vance has actually helped create much
of the chaos he's now trying to exploit.
Because it is true that Springfield
had a significant influx
of Haitian immigrants
in the last few years.
Amid tumult in Haiti,
the U.S. granted a certain number
of Haitian immigrants
"temporary protected status,
making them eligible for Social
Security numbers and work permits."
At the same time, companies
in Springfield faced a worker shortage,
and many Haitian immigrants moved
there after being recruited
by local companies for jobs
that locals were not filling.
20,000 migrants primarily from Haitia
have been dropped
into Springfield, Ohio.
Okay, first, there is only
one Haiti-related mispronunciation
that we recognize in this house and
it's Alicia Silverstone in "Clueless",
delivering the iconic line,
"And so, if the government could
just get into the kitchen,
rearrange some things, we could
certainly party with the Haitians."
But second, those people weren't
"dropped" into Springfield,
they chose to go where companies
were actively recruiting them.
And for the record, after the Haitians
came, "the local economy boomed".
Springfield even flew the flag of Haiti
at City Hall last year
for Haitian Flag Day.
Which is not to say there
haven't been issues incorporating
the new population.
City services have been strained.
Housing has been tight,
and the number of non-native English
speakers in the public schools
quadrupled to more
than 1,000 children.
Those are significant challenges.
But they're also issues
that can be addressed
with additional government funding.
And it's the town's efforts to procure
that that actually started us
on the path to where we are right now.
Because back in July, the Springfield
city manager sent this letter
to the Senate Banking and Housing
Committee to say
the city of Springfield "is facing
a significant housing crisis,"
that there were "key initiatives,
policies and programs"
that the community could implement
to solve them,
and asking for "further support at the
federal level" to ramp up that work.
JD Vance was CC'ed on that letter,
and the very next day, he chose
to read a carefully-selected part of it
at a hearing.
"Springfield's Haitian population
has increased 15 to 20,000
over the last four years in a community
of under 60,000 previous residents,
putting a significant strain
on our resources
and ability to provide ample housing
for all of our residents," end quote.
"End quote there"?
Well, that is a choice.
Because you kept the part
of the letter citing a problem,
left out the part pointing
at a solution,
and didn't even mention
the funding request.
What Vance did do was put out
a press release
highlighting that moment,
with a headline featuring the phrase
"Haitian migrant crisis
in Springfield, Ohio"
despite the letter specifically saying
"significant housing crisis,"
not "Haitian migrant crisis".
I guess we now know, it is a mistake
to expect precise wording from Vance
when it comes to anything
Haitia-related.
And in doing that,
Vance put Springfield directly
in the conservative media spotlight.
Fox highlighted the story a few days
later, citing the Vance hearing
and there was a spate of articles
in right-wing outlets
and tweets from conservative accounts,
with even Elon himself weighing in.
Just a month later,
a neo-Nazi group called Blood Tribe
showed up in Springfield,
and "about a dozen masked members
carrying banners
adorned with swastikas
marched" there,
in what they called
an "anti-Haitian immigration march".
One of their leaders even tried
to address the city council.
I've come to bring a word of warning.
Stop what you're doing,
before it's too late.
Crime and savagery will only increase
with every Haitian you bring in,
You sound threatening to me.
Based on the comments tonight,
I'm sure I don't need to tell you that.
These people didn't ask for this,
and they deserve better than to have
to put up with violent outsiders.
Thank you so much. You're done.
Thank you so much.
I know that "thank you so much,
you're done, not really thank you"
might not sound harsh, but remember,
Ohio is the Midwest.
That's the equivalent of them saying,
"Get fucked, you dime-store Nazi.
Enjoy shoveling shit in hell, you
already dress like you shop there."
And it was around this time that
rumors started ramping up online
about Haitians eating local animals.
This photo made the rounds,
supposedly of a Haitian man carrying
a goose in Springfield,
though, as TMZ, of all outlets,
later reported,
it turned out to be someone
in Columbus, Ohio,
picking up two geese that were hit
in a car accident.
That photo went from Facebook,
to Twitter, to Gab,
the social media platform
for white supremacists,
where it was shared by Blood Tribe,
which then spread more rumors
about Haitians eating local animals.
Then there was this Facebook post,
from a Springfield woman saying
her neighbor's daughter's friend had
seen "a cat hanging from a branch,
like you'd do a deer for butchering."
It got screengrabbed on Twitter,
and was then picked up and posted
alongside the photo of the man in
Columbus by a big MAGA account,
and went viral.
Now, for the record, the woman
who wrote that original post
has admitted "she had no firsthand
knowledge of any such incident,"
and has since deleted the post,
thankfully, fixing everything!
But the point here is, this pet-eating
panic was built on nothing.
And when reporters asked Springfield
residents where they'd heard
these rumors, it was pretty clear
where they were all coming from.
You have 'em going to Snyder Park
and chopping off ducks' heads
in front of little kids and stuff.
You really think that happened?
The city says they don't have
evidence that it happened.
Yes, I seen pictures.
Especially social media, and while
at work, supervisor's like,
"Hey, look at this."
You think that stuff you're seeing
on social media is true?
Yeah, there's been like, pictures
of people walking off with ducks,
so I tend to believe it. I haven't
seen anything myself, really.
I see a lot of pets that
have disappeared.
- On Facebook.
- What have you seen?
I know all our ducks are gone.
Okay, first: it is wild to see that
all our ducks are gone
and jump to it being evidence
of a duck-eating frenzy
and not, I dunno, ducks having
the capacity for flight.
But also, social media clearly isn't
a place for reliable information.
As we all know, it is for realizing
on Father's Day
that all your friends
once had weirdly hot dads.
Every other use of it is wrong.
But it is one thing for those people
not to fact-check this,
to be fair, some clearly
had sick "Dragon Ball Z" hats
to be shopping for.
But for JD Vance to happily repeat it
without checking
is deeply irresponsible.
Except here's the thing,
he did check.
It turns out, not long after his first
post about Haitians eating pets,
his campaign actually called
the Springfield city manager,
who remembers Vance's staffer
asked point-blank,
"Are the rumors true of pets
being taken and eaten?"
And he said, "I told him no."
So, Vance knew it was a lie
this whole time.
But instead of just admitting that,
he and his campaign have been
scrambling to dig up
new bullshit "evidence", all of which
either bears no resemblance
to the claims that he's made, or falls
apart at the slightest scrutiny.
At one point, his campaign sent the
Wall Street Journal this police report
from a Springfield resident,
claiming her missing cat had been
stolen and possibly eaten by Haitians,
something even the cop seemed
dubious of, pointing out,
"She found meat in the back yard.
Thinks it was from her cat.
No bones or fur around the meat.
She suspect the Haitian neighbors.
No evidence to support this claim."
And when a Journal reporter visited
that woman, she admitted
she'd found her cat,
named Miss Sassy,
in her basement a few days later.
So, she couldn't find her cat,
seemingly didn't even finish
checking her own house,
and her first assumption was,
"My neighbors ate it
and left the remains in the yard.
I'd better call the police".
What is she like when
she can't find the remote?
"911, the Venezuelans
are at it again!"
And while Vance passing that on
as evidence
is a comically stupid thing to do,
it is also deeply reckless.
Schools and hospitals in Springfield
have been closed
because of bomb threats.
And as this local community leader
points out,
Haitians in Springfield
are now living in fear.
Even yesterday, I got a friend calling
me asking me if he has to leave,
he's scared for his life.
It's very shocking
and sad at the same time,
especially coming from people seeking
the high office of our land.
High-ranking people,
I think they should do better.
They have everything at their disposal
to check the veracity
of anything that they hear.
They do. They just don't care.
And to be clear, these aren't fun lies
that you can happily spread around
without checking, like, "Gumballs
are fossilized clown testicles"
or "The green Teletubby was played
by a young Joaquin Phoenix."
These are lies that
could get people hurt.
And when Vance isn't circulating
flimsy "evidence",
he's been making wild, toxic claims,
from implying Haitians are spreading
tuberculosis and HIV,
which is untrue,
to saying "a child was murdered
by a Haitian migrant
who had no right to be here."
What he was doing there was seizing
on the story of an 11-year-old
who was killed in a collision between
a school bus
and a minivan driven
by a Haitian immigrant.
And the father of that boy has clearly
said he doesn't want his child's death
to be exploited in this way.
He even showed up to a town meeting
the night of the presidential debate
to make that point.
The last thing that we need is to have
the worst day of our lives
violently and constantly
shoved in our faces.
But even that's
not good enough for them.
They take it one step further.
They make it seem as though our
wonderful Aiden appreciates your hate,
that we should follow their hate.
To clear the air,
my son Aiden Clark was not murdered.
He was accidentally killed
by an immigrant from Haiti.
Did you know that he researched
different cultures
to better appreciate and understand
people that he interacted with?
Did you know that one of the worst
feelings in the world
is to not be able to protect
your child?
Even worse, we can't even protect
his memory when he's gone.
Please stop the hate.
I said to Aiden that I would try
to make a difference in his honor.
This is it. Live like Aiden.
Thank you.
That man didn't need
any of this bullshit.
And neither did Springfield.
And the thing is, it's not over yet.
Just this week, Trump said
he plans to visit Springfield,
despite the local mayor, a Republican,
clearly asking him not to.
As for Vance, he keeps bragging
that he got the national media
to pay attention to Springfield,
even saying,
"If I have to create stories
so that the American media actually
pays attention to the suffering,
then that's what I'm going to do."
But here's the thing,
they didn't ask for attention.
They asked for help.
Vance is the one who wanted attention,
and that clearly took priority here.
Because while he's remarkably bad
at a lot of things,
writing books, delivering speeches,
ordering donuts like a human
from Earth,
it turns out, he's actually pretty good
at parroting racist lies
like the spineless dipshit that he is.
And frankly, the only appropriate
response to this is strong outrage,
swift condemnation,
and, come November, a voter turnout
that collectively says
to the Trump campaign
in the words of an understandably
frustrated Springfield official,
"Thank you. You're done.
Not really thank you."
And now, this.
And Now: Local News Has a Lot
of Opinions About Moo Deng.
An adorable baby hippo is drawing
thousands of fans to a Thailand zoo.
The famous hippo, called Moo Deng,
has taken the world by storm.
Moo Deng became
an overnight celebrity
after a video of her toothless chewing
Is that it? Is that her yelling?
There he is. Or she is.
I don't remember.
- It's a slimy looking little thing,
- I mean, it is cute. I like that thing.
It looks like it's bad, too.
I like a bad hippo.
Are you allowed to get that close
to hippos?
I didn't think that was recommended.
- Are hippos nice or are they mean?
- Not in the wild.
And those hippos
will mess you up.
One of the deadliest animals
on the planet.
And they start out looking like that?
Are you kidding me?
Hippos kill a lot of people.
I've always wanted to go to Thailand.
Have y'all?
No. I want to visit Japan.
I'm very interested in Japan
and Korea.
But Thailand
also is a beautiful country.
South Korea, right?
Sometimes I do forget which one it is.
Have a good one!
Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns bodies,
floppy bone bags that produce sweat,
jizz, and puke in equal amounts.
At least, that's the way I do it.
Specifically, we're going to talk
about people with disabilities.
Which might make some apprehensive.
Because let's be honest,
the needs of disabled people haven't
always been met during TV broadcasts,
like in this police press conference.
We will be charging four counts
of first-degree murder.
Standing off to the side, apparently
translating every word, this woman.
But it turns out much of what
she was signing was nonsense.
"She waved her arms around like
she was singing Jingle Bells,"
says one outraged
sign language expert.
Tampa Police public information
officer Steve Hegarty told me
the woman simply showed up out
of the blue and offered her services.
My immediate reaction was, "I didn't
call for a sign language interpreter,
but that's great that
we have one here." I let her in.
Did this woman appear to know
what she was doing?
To the untrained eye, and that would
include mine, I didn't see any problems.
I get that you may be untrained
in sign language,
but you should be trained in identity
verification because you are,
and this is true,
the fucking police department!
And you didn't find it weird
she just showed up?
Those are the gestures of a drunk aunt
trying to get your attention
across the Thanksgiving dinner table.
Be better! Specifically, our story
concerns disability benefits,
financial support programs managed
by the Social Security Administration.
It is one of the core functions
of that agency,
as it once tried to get across
in the weirdest possible way.
There are four times when
it's important to have this small card.
If you're severely disabled,
Social Security is there to help.
When someone you depend on dies,
Social Security helps
keep things going.
When you retire, Social Security helps
you enjoy the things you worked for.
And there's Medicare for hospital
and medical bills.
Find out about
your lifetime protection. Call us.
Hey, what the fuck?
Of all the ways they could have
communicated "you're disabled"
and "your loved one is dead,"
mime is hands-down the worst.
I honestly haven't seen such
inappropriate gestures
since exactly 70 seconds ago.
Also, for what it's worth,
I fucking hate mimes.
I don't respect their "art".
They are failed actors, dancers,
and clowns all rolled into one,
a hat trick of parental disappointment,
and there is simply no place
for them in polite society.
But the point here is, over 15 million
people currently rely
on disability benefits to provide
for basic needs like food,
shelter, and medical care,
through a pair of programs called
SSI and SSDI.
Very basically:
SSI stands
for "Supplemental Security Income."
It's need-based and intended for
people who are elderly or disabled,
with little to no income or assets.
While SSDI stands for "Social Security
Disability Insurance",
it's for people who've contributed to
Social Security through payroll taxes,
but find themselves unable to work
substantially due to a disability.
And if you qualify for either, you also
qualify for Medicare or Medicaid.
So, these programs
are the key safety net
for many of those with disability
in this country.
Unfortunately, as anyone who's tried
to apply for them will tell you,
the application process
is an absolute nightmare,
far too often,
resulting in situations like this.
And I have dragged my butt in
and out of Social Security offices.
I have begged, I have cried,
I have pleaded,
"I am disabled,
I am disabled, I am disabled."
My doctor has sent letters.
"You don't qualify."
We're not able to survive.
I have sold everything
that I own of any value,
with the exception of my wedding ring.
That is awful, and the fact is,
most disabled people who apply
for disability benefits do get denied.
It's one of those things that doesn't
make sense but is actually true,
like how most truffle oil
isn't made with truffles,
or that the oldest person alive
technically never dies,
or the fact that Tim Walz
is younger than Weird Al.
Inside you there are two wolves.
But that man is not alone.
A GAO report found
that between 2014 and 2019,
about 48,000 individuals filed
for bankruptcy
while awaiting a final decision
about their disability appeals.
And that is just the beginning
of the problems here.
Because these benefits can be
hard to get,
easy to lose, and,
for reasons that we'll get into,
can turn your life upside-down.
So, tonight, let's talk
about disability benefits.
And let's start with how
you get approved.
Assuming your income falls
below a certain threshold,
the two key questions to determine
if you qualify are,
"Are you disabled?" and, for adults,
at least,
"Does your disability prevent you from
working enough to support yourself?"
Which feels reasonable.
The problem is how the agency
chooses to answer those questions.
Because the answer to,
"Are you disabled?"
isn't always, as you might expect,
based on the opinion of your doctor.
The agency starts their determinations
by consulting a list of conditions
and illnesses that have a narrow set
of criteria that must be met.
And doctors who've had patients go
through this system will tell you,
they've seen people with serious
conditions fail to qualify.
You've had patients
with severe epilepsy
who have been turned down
for benefits.
- Multiple sclerosis.
Turned down for benefits. Patients
with severe neurological disabilities.
- Some dementia patients.
- Turned down.
- So, it's very tricky.
- It is.
It depends on the review
by somebody who has never
examined the patient before.
That is ridiculous.
And no offense to that interviewer,
but the correct response to,
"My dementia patients have
been turned down for benefits,"
isn't, "So, it's very tricky?"
It's, "Holy shit, we live in hell."
"It's very tricky" is something
you say after seeing
a Rubik's Cube for the first time,
or when your parents ask you
to explain
what the whole
"JD Vance couch thing" is.
But I want to focus on the last thing
Dr. Bob Balaban said there,
that an application can be denied,
over the advice of your own doctor,
on the recommendation of someone
who's never met you,
but just reviewed your records.
Because he's actually right there.
The approval system varies
from state to state,
but some in particular
leave a lot to be desired.
A 2019 investigation in Tennessee
found that doctors contracted
to review applications were
"paid a flat rate" per case,
meaning the faster they worked,
the more money they made.
One doctor earned $420,000 in a year
by reviewing over 9,000 applications,
so he averaged a case
every 12 minutes.
Which is just way too short.
There are lots of things you can do
in 12 minutes: make breakfast,
read a chapter of a book,
watch the entirety of Kendall Jenner's
"Guide to Spring French Girl Makeup"
you'll never believe the way
she gua shas her brows,
but reviewing potentially thousands
of pages of a medical history
just isn't one of them.
And even when the agency pays
a doctor to meet with an applicant
in person, they can still be less than
thorough, as this mother found out.
Four-year-old Valkyrie Cass
has cerebral palsy.
Her doctors encouraged her mom to
apply for Supplemental Security Income
to help pay for Valkyrie's care.
The medical bills are astronomical,
hundreds of thousands of dollars.
But the Social Security Administration
has repeatedly denied
Valkyrie's SSI application,
based on this medical exam conducted
by a doctor hired by Social Security.
The doctor said Valkyrie's overall gait
is perfectly normal,
even though you can clearly see
a severe limp.
The doctor's exam claimed her left
hand is "normal" and "full strength",
but medical reports from Valkyrie's
doctors say the exact opposite,
and the government doctor reported
Valkyrie displayed
"unimpaired reading and writing,"
even though her mom says those were
not even tested during the exam.
Everything was wrong.
That's absurd. The only way that report
could've been any more wrong
is if it'd gone on to describe
the plot of "Stuart Little".
Valkyrie is a precocious mouse
that's been adopted by Geena Davis
and Hugh Laurie, but this has no
bearing on her reading and writing,
benefits denied."
And on top of that, the agency's
criteria for a disability
can be wildly out of step
with modern medical practice.
Take kids with sickle cell disease.
According to the agency's standards,
a key criterion for eligibility
is for kids to show they're anemic,
a determination made by testing how
much hemoglobin is in their blood.
The problem is, modern medications
are aimed at raising hemoglobin levels.
It doesn't mean
you don't have sickle cell,
or that it doesn't impact your life,
it's just,
you're not necessarily anemic.
But Social Security still looks for
severe anemia when deciding eligibility,
with one doctor saying kids
are "almost getting punished
for having the modern medical
treatment." Which is awful.
Medical treatment should not feel
like a punishment,
something, by the way, that should
probably be pointed out
to whoever the fuck invented
the mammogram machine.
Because it's two plastic binder
covers smashing your boob
and holding it there in time out.
Let me be clear:
mammograms are important,
and you should absolutely
get them regularly,
but let's not all act like they
don't feel like the titty gallows.
So, to recap:
your records can be reviewed
by someone who's never met you.
You can be briefly examined
by someone
with no expertise
in your particular condition.
And then they can use outdated data
to determine
whether or not you get
critical benefits.
Sadly, the process is no less flawed
for answering the other key question:
whether your disability prevents you
from working to support yourself.
Because part of the way the agency
answers that is by consulting a job list
called the "Dictionary
of Occupational Titles."
In order to deny someone benefits,
the agency must cite
three jobs from that list that meet
the person's abilities.
But the vast majority of those jobs
were last updated in 1977.
And in the last few years,
people have been denied benefits
because the agency said they could
find jobs on that list,
including nut sorter,
dowel inspector, egg processor,
and magnetic-tape winder.
Which would be easy jobs to find
if you lived in 1977
or "The Busy World of Richard Scarry".
But it's a ridiculous list
for the modern day.
Also, and this isn't strictly relevant,
the Dictionary of Occupational Titles
doesn't have a website
that looks like it was made
in this century, either.
Because that looks like
the first website.
It looks so old, its address should
be w-w-w-dot-website-dot-com.
It's so old it looks like its webmaster
was Alan Turing.
- How old is it?
Its IP address is one.
But look, with all those bars
to clear,
it is hardly surprising
that the denial rate here is so high.
Less than a third of those applying
for SSI were allowed
at initial application, and for SSDI,
it's less than a quarter.
Now, I should say, you can appeal
an initial denial, and many do.
In fact, appeals are so commonplace,
there are even lawyers who specialize
in them,
and advertise on TV like this.
You get hurt, you can't work, so you
apply for Social Security benefits,
but you get denied?
The laws are so confusing, how do you
get your benefits before you go broke?
If you've been denied your Social
Security disability benefits,
call me right now!
Call Jim Adler, he can help you
get your checks started.
I know how to cut through
that red tape, call me right now!
"Call me right now! I'm a big tough
man with a big loud voice.
Call me right now! I like trucks that
go wee and meat that goes squee!
Call me right now! I piss, shit, and cum
gasoline. Call me right now!"
We've actually featured that man
on this show before.
He calls himself the Texas Hammer
and holds the unique distinction
of being the first person in history
who has the voice of someone
who would beat his face up.
Once you appeal, though,
you can go through multiple stages.
The first, in person, is with
an administrative law judge
who works for the Social Security
Administration.
They're allowed such wide discretion
that some judges approve
just 9% of the cases before them,
with others, as much as 96%.
If you're denied
by one of these judges,
you can eventually go outside
Social Security's system,
and take your case to a federal
district court,
which will determine if the agency
made a mistake in your first hearing.
And they have found
some pretty monumental ones,
like with this man, whose disability
claim for back pain
and permanent nerve damage from
an injury was repeatedly denied.
Turns out, both Social Security
and an administrative law judge
denied Jonathan's disability based on
someone else's medical records.
- The judge didn't notice that?
- No. Nobody noticed this.
I just think it's carelessness.
I mean, we see mistakes like this
that happen all the time.
All the time? It is not great that
a federal agency seems to have
the same eye for detail
as a hungover Starbucks barista.
Looks like, Bichael?
Benefits for Bichael?
I've got a Bichael here."
Now, the good news is,
if the court finds
that the Social Security Administration
really screwed up,
the agency itself
has to pay your lawyer's fees.
But in a sign of just
how often it fucks up,
it's had to pay more than $390 million
in attorney fees
over the past decade.
And all this takes time and effort.
Applicants are waiting on average
eight months for an initial decision,
with appeals taking even longer.
In fact, most wait over a year
for a final decision on their claim.
But that man you just saw has been
trying to get benefits
for eight years now.
And think how much has changed
in the last eight years.
Barack Obama went from the most
powerful man in the country
to an unemployed guy
who tweets playlists.
Eight years ago,
Ryan Gosling saved jazz.
Eight years ago, Harambe.
Harambe, eight years ago.
If you can say, "I applied for benefits
when Harambe was alive,"
and still not have them,
the system is moving too slow.
And this is due, in part, to the fact
the Social Security Administration has
been underfunded for over a decade.
Their budget was slashed in 2011
as part of a Republican-led austerity
campaign, and it has never recovered.
So, it's been serving a growing number
of applicants and beneficiaries,
with less resources and staff.
It is frankly no wonder, last year,
there was a backlog of over a million
pending initial disability claims.
And those delays have real costs for
those stuck waiting, like this man.
I have a bone disease,
amongst other things,
and my body just won't let me
work anymore.
Elvin Spriggs, from West Portsmouth,
Ohio, near the Kentucky border,
tells us he was living under
this Greenlawn Avenue bridge
in Columbus for a while.
You can't sleep 'cause you don't know
who's coming around the next corner.
You don't know
what you're going to encounter.
Thankfully, a friend took him in,
as Alvin fought to get his approved
Social Security benefits.
The whole ordeal, he says,
lasted nearly four years.
That's the barrier between me
and my own place.
I'm not trying to get rich.
I just want what's owed to me.
If you want to get rich quick,
getting disability benefits
is the worst possible way to do that.
Everyone knows the fastest way
to get rich is to win the lottery.
The easiest is to have rich parents,
the grossest is to marry
Rupert Murdoch,
and the most absurd is to become
the Hawk Tuah Girl.
These are your main options
in this economy.
And, for the record, it's not like the
benefits are particularly generous.
The average monthly SSDI benefit
is currently just over $1,500,
and the maximum monthly SSI
payment is $943 for an individual.
And even if you get approved,
your troubles still aren't over.
And that brings us to the incredibly
stringent rules
that we force those who receive
these benefits to live by.
First, they have to deal with aggressive
caps on income and savings.
Let's say you're no longer able
to work full-time, so you get SSDI.
If you're able to work a little bit,
part-time,
you're allowed to do that
and to get paid,
but only to a point.
In 2022, if your monthly wages
went from $1,350 to 1,351,
that one dollar could make
you lose your entire benefit.
And for SSI recipients,
the rules are even stricter.
Because that program places
hard limits
on how much money you're allowed
to have in savings.
You're allowed to have
a few resources,
like owning one car and a home,
but beyond that, you can have
no more than $2,000 worth of assets.
Any more and you could lose
your benefits.
And that is the case even if what
sends you over the limit
is something like receiving a small
inheritance, or even a birthday gift.
And as this woman explains,
the current asset limit makes it
functionally impossible to save money.
As a single person, I'm only allowed
to have $2,000 in the bank.
My van broke down again.
I need to get myself a van.
Most vans cost more than $2,000,
especially if you want one when
the engine is still running,
or you're gonna plan on pushing it
like Fred Flintstone.
I can't even do a GoFundMe
because a GoFundMe
would put me over asset limits,
and I would lose my income.
She's right. The limit not only
punishes you for saving money,
it even constrains you from
accepting help from others.
She's also right about no one wanting
to drive a Flintstones car except,
of course, morning-drunk
Hoda and Kathie Lee.
Yabba-dabba-DUI.
And if you're wondering,
why only $2,000?
That is because Congress
hasn't raised the limit in decades,
and it's never been indexed
to inflation.
If it had, it'd be $10,000 today.
And you should know, the agency
polices this vigorously,
sending overpayment notices to more
than two million people each year.
If they find that you went over the cap
in your bank account,
they might advise you
to spend it down,
so you're below their limit.
Or they might suspend or cancel
your benefits
or even try and claw back
all the money they sent you,
which can be thousands of dollars.
It is no wonder people are so careful
to stay under the limit,
but even that is not a guarantee
of safety here.
Because, as you've seen tonight,
the agency's both understaffed
and error-prone,
so mistakes get made.
For instance, many recipients saw
their benefits suspended
as a result of Covid stimulus checks
being automatically deposited
into their bank accounts.
That money wasn't supposed
to count against asset limits,
but too often, this happened.
Dave Greune's daughter
Julia's only income
is her monthly Social Security
disability check.
Julia is blind and has cerebral palsy.
But during the Covid pandemic,
$3,200 in stimulus checks,
economic impact payments,
were deposited in her bank account.
Now, SSA has frozen
her monthly payments
and is demanding thousands
of dollars be returned.
Social Security initially demanded Julia
repay more than double the amount
she got in stimulus money,
about $7,300
for months of Social Security benefits
the agency now thinks
she was not entitled to receive.
So, I just assumed since the
government put the money in,
they would understand that
she's gonna have extra money.
That is just infuriating incompetence.
I don't know how anyone can think
the government is run
by a shadowy cabal of elites,
when more often, it appears to be run
by three raccoons stacked up
in a Men's Warehouse suit.
'Cause only they would send someone
money during the pandemic,
forget they were the ones who sent it,
and then demand more than double
that money back.
That is chaotic raccoon-in-a-suit
behavior.
But maybe the ultimate expression
of the madness of our current system
is the so-called "marriage penalty"
Basically, if you're an individual
getting SSI,
your assets are capped at $2,000.
But if you get married, your entire
household assets
are capped at $3,000.
And if you go over,
you not only lose your benefits,
you risk losing access to Medicaid, too.
Just watch as this woman explains
why this means
she can never marry her partner.
Our marriage plans right now
are on hold
because there is a marriage penalty
to where if we get married,
his income would make me no longer
qualified to receive Medicaid.
So, all my caregivers, all my medical
equipment, everything,
I would not be able to have
any of that anymore.
To just pay for caregivers,
it would be between 100,000
and $200,000 a year.
Medicaid is the only type of insurance
that would pay for this much care.
It's really normal to fall in love
and to want to start a family.
It's really normal for disabled parents
to exist and have children.
It's very normal, and it's not treated
that way by society.
Exactly. It's not just about disabled
people getting their basic needs met,
it's about creating a society where
they're equal and active members.
Because it is very normal to fall
in love and want to get married.
It's admittedly less normal for the
object of that love to be a cabbage,
but that wedding was fucking beautiful,
and I apologize to nobody.
And with all this bureaucratic bullshit,
it is no wonder that so many who rely
on these benefits feel trapped
in a cycle of poverty.
One study found roughly half of all
supplemental income beneficiaries
had incomes below the federal
poverty line even with their benefits.
So, what can we do here?
Well, as we've said before, we could
switch to universal healthcare,
which would solve at least part of this.
But short of that, there are smaller,
significant measures
that we could take.
The Social Security Administration
clearly needs to be funded properly.
Also, in making determinations,
they need to give more weight
to the assessment of people's own
doctors, and update their jobs list
to the 21st century.
And there's actually
some good news here.
Because there are currently two bills
in Congress that, if passed,
would address at least some
of what you've seen tonight.
Both would raise the asset limit
to $10,000 for individuals
and index it to inflation.
And this bill would also raise benefits,
and increase the amount of outside
income beneficiaries could earn.
Neither bill would fix everything,
but they'd be a start,
and Congress could pass at least
one this year if they cared to.
And I'd argue that they should, and you
could call your representatives
and tell them that,
if you were so inclined.
Because, to put all of this in terms
the Social Security Administration
seems to prefer, and I absolutely
hate myself for doing this,
this system needs to be better.
Not just for the sake of disabled
people, but for everyone.
Are you ready to do this? Okay.
What kind of society
do we want to live in?
One that punishes people
with endless paperwork
for having a medical condition
like chronic granulocytopenia?
Do we want a society that creates
endless hoops
people have to jump through
for the tiniest morsel of support?
Or do we want a society that steps up
to the plate
and actually delivers for the people?
If it is that one, then we need
to make changes here.
Because right now,
this system is fucked.
I mean, supremely and massively
fucked. I don't like that at all.
That is our show, thank you
so much for watching,
we'll see you next week, good night.
No. Stop! Don't mime me.
I don't want to be mimed.
Stop what you're doing right now!
I'm scooting away.
I'm leaving you.
Don't mime coming after me!
I'm John Oliver,
thank you so much for joining us.
It has been a busy week,
from Mark Robinson's gubernatorial
campaign being derailed
by reports of his commenting, among
other things, "I'm a Black Nazi"
in, and this is true, a porn forum,
to a mayoral debate in Sao Paulo
getting ugly
after one of the candidates
hit the other with a metal chair.
But we're gonna focus on the debate
we missed while we were off last week.
Specifically, this exceptional moment
in American oratory.
In Springfield, they're eating
the dogs, the people that came in.
They're eating the cats. They're eating
the pets of the people that live there.
Yeah, that was Donald Trump
accusing Haitian immigrants
of killing and eating people's pets.
And can you even remember a time
when something like that
would've been disqualifying?
Because I can't anymore!
Republicans have now nominated
Trump three times,
Democrats have so far lost to him
half the time,
and this election is still inexplicably
close, because unfortunately,
some Americans watched that
and thought,
"I don't like how Kamala laughed when
he called immigrants dog-eaters.
That wasn't very presidential."
I know that happened
over a week ago,
and there've been plenty
of cat-eating jokes since,
but I still want to talk about this,
both because the chaos Trump
stirred up in Springfield is ongoing,
and because it feels emblematic
of his campaign.
And before we go any further:
to be clear,
city officials insist there is
no evidence
of what Trump confidently
spewed to 67 million people.
And in doing so, he was actually
repeating something
that'd been posted by his running mate,
JD Vance,
a man who always looks like
a yassified chip munk,
the day before the debate.
He posted that "Haitian illegal
immigrants" were causing chaos
all over Springfield, Ohio,
and "reports now show that people
have had their pets abducted
and eaten by people
who shouldn't be in this country".
Which, among other things,
makes it sound like eating pets
is a right reserved for natural-born
Americans.
And when asked about it since,
Vance has insisted he was
just reflecting people's concerns.
The media has tried to say now
for days that I've made up this story.
I haven't made up anything.
I've just listened to people
who were telling me these things.
Wait. "If enough people say it,
I repeat it"?
It is not ideal when an aspiring vice
president's guiding philosophy
is indistinguishable
from a fucking parrot's.
And look, obviously, an attack
like this isn't remotely new.
We've demonized immigrants
in all sorts of ways,
including by accusing them
of eating pets, for centuries now.
But it is worth looking at what's
actually been happening in Springfield,
because it's interesting,
and reveals how far from just
"repeating claims he's heard"
Vance has actually helped create much
of the chaos he's now trying to exploit.
Because it is true that Springfield
had a significant influx
of Haitian immigrants
in the last few years.
Amid tumult in Haiti,
the U.S. granted a certain number
of Haitian immigrants
"temporary protected status,
making them eligible for Social
Security numbers and work permits."
At the same time, companies
in Springfield faced a worker shortage,
and many Haitian immigrants moved
there after being recruited
by local companies for jobs
that locals were not filling.
20,000 migrants primarily from Haitia
have been dropped
into Springfield, Ohio.
Okay, first, there is only
one Haiti-related mispronunciation
that we recognize in this house and
it's Alicia Silverstone in "Clueless",
delivering the iconic line,
"And so, if the government could
just get into the kitchen,
rearrange some things, we could
certainly party with the Haitians."
But second, those people weren't
"dropped" into Springfield,
they chose to go where companies
were actively recruiting them.
And for the record, after the Haitians
came, "the local economy boomed".
Springfield even flew the flag of Haiti
at City Hall last year
for Haitian Flag Day.
Which is not to say there
haven't been issues incorporating
the new population.
City services have been strained.
Housing has been tight,
and the number of non-native English
speakers in the public schools
quadrupled to more
than 1,000 children.
Those are significant challenges.
But they're also issues
that can be addressed
with additional government funding.
And it's the town's efforts to procure
that that actually started us
on the path to where we are right now.
Because back in July, the Springfield
city manager sent this letter
to the Senate Banking and Housing
Committee to say
the city of Springfield "is facing
a significant housing crisis,"
that there were "key initiatives,
policies and programs"
that the community could implement
to solve them,
and asking for "further support at the
federal level" to ramp up that work.
JD Vance was CC'ed on that letter,
and the very next day, he chose
to read a carefully-selected part of it
at a hearing.
"Springfield's Haitian population
has increased 15 to 20,000
over the last four years in a community
of under 60,000 previous residents,
putting a significant strain
on our resources
and ability to provide ample housing
for all of our residents," end quote.
"End quote there"?
Well, that is a choice.
Because you kept the part
of the letter citing a problem,
left out the part pointing
at a solution,
and didn't even mention
the funding request.
What Vance did do was put out
a press release
highlighting that moment,
with a headline featuring the phrase
"Haitian migrant crisis
in Springfield, Ohio"
despite the letter specifically saying
"significant housing crisis,"
not "Haitian migrant crisis".
I guess we now know, it is a mistake
to expect precise wording from Vance
when it comes to anything
Haitia-related.
And in doing that,
Vance put Springfield directly
in the conservative media spotlight.
Fox highlighted the story a few days
later, citing the Vance hearing
and there was a spate of articles
in right-wing outlets
and tweets from conservative accounts,
with even Elon himself weighing in.
Just a month later,
a neo-Nazi group called Blood Tribe
showed up in Springfield,
and "about a dozen masked members
carrying banners
adorned with swastikas
marched" there,
in what they called
an "anti-Haitian immigration march".
One of their leaders even tried
to address the city council.
I've come to bring a word of warning.
Stop what you're doing,
before it's too late.
Crime and savagery will only increase
with every Haitian you bring in,
You sound threatening to me.
Based on the comments tonight,
I'm sure I don't need to tell you that.
These people didn't ask for this,
and they deserve better than to have
to put up with violent outsiders.
Thank you so much. You're done.
Thank you so much.
I know that "thank you so much,
you're done, not really thank you"
might not sound harsh, but remember,
Ohio is the Midwest.
That's the equivalent of them saying,
"Get fucked, you dime-store Nazi.
Enjoy shoveling shit in hell, you
already dress like you shop there."
And it was around this time that
rumors started ramping up online
about Haitians eating local animals.
This photo made the rounds,
supposedly of a Haitian man carrying
a goose in Springfield,
though, as TMZ, of all outlets,
later reported,
it turned out to be someone
in Columbus, Ohio,
picking up two geese that were hit
in a car accident.
That photo went from Facebook,
to Twitter, to Gab,
the social media platform
for white supremacists,
where it was shared by Blood Tribe,
which then spread more rumors
about Haitians eating local animals.
Then there was this Facebook post,
from a Springfield woman saying
her neighbor's daughter's friend had
seen "a cat hanging from a branch,
like you'd do a deer for butchering."
It got screengrabbed on Twitter,
and was then picked up and posted
alongside the photo of the man in
Columbus by a big MAGA account,
and went viral.
Now, for the record, the woman
who wrote that original post
has admitted "she had no firsthand
knowledge of any such incident,"
and has since deleted the post,
thankfully, fixing everything!
But the point here is, this pet-eating
panic was built on nothing.
And when reporters asked Springfield
residents where they'd heard
these rumors, it was pretty clear
where they were all coming from.
You have 'em going to Snyder Park
and chopping off ducks' heads
in front of little kids and stuff.
You really think that happened?
The city says they don't have
evidence that it happened.
Yes, I seen pictures.
Especially social media, and while
at work, supervisor's like,
"Hey, look at this."
You think that stuff you're seeing
on social media is true?
Yeah, there's been like, pictures
of people walking off with ducks,
so I tend to believe it. I haven't
seen anything myself, really.
I see a lot of pets that
have disappeared.
- On Facebook.
- What have you seen?
I know all our ducks are gone.
Okay, first: it is wild to see that
all our ducks are gone
and jump to it being evidence
of a duck-eating frenzy
and not, I dunno, ducks having
the capacity for flight.
But also, social media clearly isn't
a place for reliable information.
As we all know, it is for realizing
on Father's Day
that all your friends
once had weirdly hot dads.
Every other use of it is wrong.
But it is one thing for those people
not to fact-check this,
to be fair, some clearly
had sick "Dragon Ball Z" hats
to be shopping for.
But for JD Vance to happily repeat it
without checking
is deeply irresponsible.
Except here's the thing,
he did check.
It turns out, not long after his first
post about Haitians eating pets,
his campaign actually called
the Springfield city manager,
who remembers Vance's staffer
asked point-blank,
"Are the rumors true of pets
being taken and eaten?"
And he said, "I told him no."
So, Vance knew it was a lie
this whole time.
But instead of just admitting that,
he and his campaign have been
scrambling to dig up
new bullshit "evidence", all of which
either bears no resemblance
to the claims that he's made, or falls
apart at the slightest scrutiny.
At one point, his campaign sent the
Wall Street Journal this police report
from a Springfield resident,
claiming her missing cat had been
stolen and possibly eaten by Haitians,
something even the cop seemed
dubious of, pointing out,
"She found meat in the back yard.
Thinks it was from her cat.
No bones or fur around the meat.
She suspect the Haitian neighbors.
No evidence to support this claim."
And when a Journal reporter visited
that woman, she admitted
she'd found her cat,
named Miss Sassy,
in her basement a few days later.
So, she couldn't find her cat,
seemingly didn't even finish
checking her own house,
and her first assumption was,
"My neighbors ate it
and left the remains in the yard.
I'd better call the police".
What is she like when
she can't find the remote?
"911, the Venezuelans
are at it again!"
And while Vance passing that on
as evidence
is a comically stupid thing to do,
it is also deeply reckless.
Schools and hospitals in Springfield
have been closed
because of bomb threats.
And as this local community leader
points out,
Haitians in Springfield
are now living in fear.
Even yesterday, I got a friend calling
me asking me if he has to leave,
he's scared for his life.
It's very shocking
and sad at the same time,
especially coming from people seeking
the high office of our land.
High-ranking people,
I think they should do better.
They have everything at their disposal
to check the veracity
of anything that they hear.
They do. They just don't care.
And to be clear, these aren't fun lies
that you can happily spread around
without checking, like, "Gumballs
are fossilized clown testicles"
or "The green Teletubby was played
by a young Joaquin Phoenix."
These are lies that
could get people hurt.
And when Vance isn't circulating
flimsy "evidence",
he's been making wild, toxic claims,
from implying Haitians are spreading
tuberculosis and HIV,
which is untrue,
to saying "a child was murdered
by a Haitian migrant
who had no right to be here."
What he was doing there was seizing
on the story of an 11-year-old
who was killed in a collision between
a school bus
and a minivan driven
by a Haitian immigrant.
And the father of that boy has clearly
said he doesn't want his child's death
to be exploited in this way.
He even showed up to a town meeting
the night of the presidential debate
to make that point.
The last thing that we need is to have
the worst day of our lives
violently and constantly
shoved in our faces.
But even that's
not good enough for them.
They take it one step further.
They make it seem as though our
wonderful Aiden appreciates your hate,
that we should follow their hate.
To clear the air,
my son Aiden Clark was not murdered.
He was accidentally killed
by an immigrant from Haiti.
Did you know that he researched
different cultures
to better appreciate and understand
people that he interacted with?
Did you know that one of the worst
feelings in the world
is to not be able to protect
your child?
Even worse, we can't even protect
his memory when he's gone.
Please stop the hate.
I said to Aiden that I would try
to make a difference in his honor.
This is it. Live like Aiden.
Thank you.
That man didn't need
any of this bullshit.
And neither did Springfield.
And the thing is, it's not over yet.
Just this week, Trump said
he plans to visit Springfield,
despite the local mayor, a Republican,
clearly asking him not to.
As for Vance, he keeps bragging
that he got the national media
to pay attention to Springfield,
even saying,
"If I have to create stories
so that the American media actually
pays attention to the suffering,
then that's what I'm going to do."
But here's the thing,
they didn't ask for attention.
They asked for help.
Vance is the one who wanted attention,
and that clearly took priority here.
Because while he's remarkably bad
at a lot of things,
writing books, delivering speeches,
ordering donuts like a human
from Earth,
it turns out, he's actually pretty good
at parroting racist lies
like the spineless dipshit that he is.
And frankly, the only appropriate
response to this is strong outrage,
swift condemnation,
and, come November, a voter turnout
that collectively says
to the Trump campaign
in the words of an understandably
frustrated Springfield official,
"Thank you. You're done.
Not really thank you."
And now, this.
And Now: Local News Has a Lot
of Opinions About Moo Deng.
An adorable baby hippo is drawing
thousands of fans to a Thailand zoo.
The famous hippo, called Moo Deng,
has taken the world by storm.
Moo Deng became
an overnight celebrity
after a video of her toothless chewing
Is that it? Is that her yelling?
There he is. Or she is.
I don't remember.
- It's a slimy looking little thing,
- I mean, it is cute. I like that thing.
It looks like it's bad, too.
I like a bad hippo.
Are you allowed to get that close
to hippos?
I didn't think that was recommended.
- Are hippos nice or are they mean?
- Not in the wild.
And those hippos
will mess you up.
One of the deadliest animals
on the planet.
And they start out looking like that?
Are you kidding me?
Hippos kill a lot of people.
I've always wanted to go to Thailand.
Have y'all?
No. I want to visit Japan.
I'm very interested in Japan
and Korea.
But Thailand
also is a beautiful country.
South Korea, right?
Sometimes I do forget which one it is.
Have a good one!
Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns bodies,
floppy bone bags that produce sweat,
jizz, and puke in equal amounts.
At least, that's the way I do it.
Specifically, we're going to talk
about people with disabilities.
Which might make some apprehensive.
Because let's be honest,
the needs of disabled people haven't
always been met during TV broadcasts,
like in this police press conference.
We will be charging four counts
of first-degree murder.
Standing off to the side, apparently
translating every word, this woman.
But it turns out much of what
she was signing was nonsense.
"She waved her arms around like
she was singing Jingle Bells,"
says one outraged
sign language expert.
Tampa Police public information
officer Steve Hegarty told me
the woman simply showed up out
of the blue and offered her services.
My immediate reaction was, "I didn't
call for a sign language interpreter,
but that's great that
we have one here." I let her in.
Did this woman appear to know
what she was doing?
To the untrained eye, and that would
include mine, I didn't see any problems.
I get that you may be untrained
in sign language,
but you should be trained in identity
verification because you are,
and this is true,
the fucking police department!
And you didn't find it weird
she just showed up?
Those are the gestures of a drunk aunt
trying to get your attention
across the Thanksgiving dinner table.
Be better! Specifically, our story
concerns disability benefits,
financial support programs managed
by the Social Security Administration.
It is one of the core functions
of that agency,
as it once tried to get across
in the weirdest possible way.
There are four times when
it's important to have this small card.
If you're severely disabled,
Social Security is there to help.
When someone you depend on dies,
Social Security helps
keep things going.
When you retire, Social Security helps
you enjoy the things you worked for.
And there's Medicare for hospital
and medical bills.
Find out about
your lifetime protection. Call us.
Hey, what the fuck?
Of all the ways they could have
communicated "you're disabled"
and "your loved one is dead,"
mime is hands-down the worst.
I honestly haven't seen such
inappropriate gestures
since exactly 70 seconds ago.
Also, for what it's worth,
I fucking hate mimes.
I don't respect their "art".
They are failed actors, dancers,
and clowns all rolled into one,
a hat trick of parental disappointment,
and there is simply no place
for them in polite society.
But the point here is, over 15 million
people currently rely
on disability benefits to provide
for basic needs like food,
shelter, and medical care,
through a pair of programs called
SSI and SSDI.
Very basically:
SSI stands
for "Supplemental Security Income."
It's need-based and intended for
people who are elderly or disabled,
with little to no income or assets.
While SSDI stands for "Social Security
Disability Insurance",
it's for people who've contributed to
Social Security through payroll taxes,
but find themselves unable to work
substantially due to a disability.
And if you qualify for either, you also
qualify for Medicare or Medicaid.
So, these programs
are the key safety net
for many of those with disability
in this country.
Unfortunately, as anyone who's tried
to apply for them will tell you,
the application process
is an absolute nightmare,
far too often,
resulting in situations like this.
And I have dragged my butt in
and out of Social Security offices.
I have begged, I have cried,
I have pleaded,
"I am disabled,
I am disabled, I am disabled."
My doctor has sent letters.
"You don't qualify."
We're not able to survive.
I have sold everything
that I own of any value,
with the exception of my wedding ring.
That is awful, and the fact is,
most disabled people who apply
for disability benefits do get denied.
It's one of those things that doesn't
make sense but is actually true,
like how most truffle oil
isn't made with truffles,
or that the oldest person alive
technically never dies,
or the fact that Tim Walz
is younger than Weird Al.
Inside you there are two wolves.
But that man is not alone.
A GAO report found
that between 2014 and 2019,
about 48,000 individuals filed
for bankruptcy
while awaiting a final decision
about their disability appeals.
And that is just the beginning
of the problems here.
Because these benefits can be
hard to get,
easy to lose, and,
for reasons that we'll get into,
can turn your life upside-down.
So, tonight, let's talk
about disability benefits.
And let's start with how
you get approved.
Assuming your income falls
below a certain threshold,
the two key questions to determine
if you qualify are,
"Are you disabled?" and, for adults,
at least,
"Does your disability prevent you from
working enough to support yourself?"
Which feels reasonable.
The problem is how the agency
chooses to answer those questions.
Because the answer to,
"Are you disabled?"
isn't always, as you might expect,
based on the opinion of your doctor.
The agency starts their determinations
by consulting a list of conditions
and illnesses that have a narrow set
of criteria that must be met.
And doctors who've had patients go
through this system will tell you,
they've seen people with serious
conditions fail to qualify.
You've had patients
with severe epilepsy
who have been turned down
for benefits.
- Multiple sclerosis.
Turned down for benefits. Patients
with severe neurological disabilities.
- Some dementia patients.
- Turned down.
- So, it's very tricky.
- It is.
It depends on the review
by somebody who has never
examined the patient before.
That is ridiculous.
And no offense to that interviewer,
but the correct response to,
"My dementia patients have
been turned down for benefits,"
isn't, "So, it's very tricky?"
It's, "Holy shit, we live in hell."
"It's very tricky" is something
you say after seeing
a Rubik's Cube for the first time,
or when your parents ask you
to explain
what the whole
"JD Vance couch thing" is.
But I want to focus on the last thing
Dr. Bob Balaban said there,
that an application can be denied,
over the advice of your own doctor,
on the recommendation of someone
who's never met you,
but just reviewed your records.
Because he's actually right there.
The approval system varies
from state to state,
but some in particular
leave a lot to be desired.
A 2019 investigation in Tennessee
found that doctors contracted
to review applications were
"paid a flat rate" per case,
meaning the faster they worked,
the more money they made.
One doctor earned $420,000 in a year
by reviewing over 9,000 applications,
so he averaged a case
every 12 minutes.
Which is just way too short.
There are lots of things you can do
in 12 minutes: make breakfast,
read a chapter of a book,
watch the entirety of Kendall Jenner's
"Guide to Spring French Girl Makeup"
you'll never believe the way
she gua shas her brows,
but reviewing potentially thousands
of pages of a medical history
just isn't one of them.
And even when the agency pays
a doctor to meet with an applicant
in person, they can still be less than
thorough, as this mother found out.
Four-year-old Valkyrie Cass
has cerebral palsy.
Her doctors encouraged her mom to
apply for Supplemental Security Income
to help pay for Valkyrie's care.
The medical bills are astronomical,
hundreds of thousands of dollars.
But the Social Security Administration
has repeatedly denied
Valkyrie's SSI application,
based on this medical exam conducted
by a doctor hired by Social Security.
The doctor said Valkyrie's overall gait
is perfectly normal,
even though you can clearly see
a severe limp.
The doctor's exam claimed her left
hand is "normal" and "full strength",
but medical reports from Valkyrie's
doctors say the exact opposite,
and the government doctor reported
Valkyrie displayed
"unimpaired reading and writing,"
even though her mom says those were
not even tested during the exam.
Everything was wrong.
That's absurd. The only way that report
could've been any more wrong
is if it'd gone on to describe
the plot of "Stuart Little".
Valkyrie is a precocious mouse
that's been adopted by Geena Davis
and Hugh Laurie, but this has no
bearing on her reading and writing,
benefits denied."
And on top of that, the agency's
criteria for a disability
can be wildly out of step
with modern medical practice.
Take kids with sickle cell disease.
According to the agency's standards,
a key criterion for eligibility
is for kids to show they're anemic,
a determination made by testing how
much hemoglobin is in their blood.
The problem is, modern medications
are aimed at raising hemoglobin levels.
It doesn't mean
you don't have sickle cell,
or that it doesn't impact your life,
it's just,
you're not necessarily anemic.
But Social Security still looks for
severe anemia when deciding eligibility,
with one doctor saying kids
are "almost getting punished
for having the modern medical
treatment." Which is awful.
Medical treatment should not feel
like a punishment,
something, by the way, that should
probably be pointed out
to whoever the fuck invented
the mammogram machine.
Because it's two plastic binder
covers smashing your boob
and holding it there in time out.
Let me be clear:
mammograms are important,
and you should absolutely
get them regularly,
but let's not all act like they
don't feel like the titty gallows.
So, to recap:
your records can be reviewed
by someone who's never met you.
You can be briefly examined
by someone
with no expertise
in your particular condition.
And then they can use outdated data
to determine
whether or not you get
critical benefits.
Sadly, the process is no less flawed
for answering the other key question:
whether your disability prevents you
from working to support yourself.
Because part of the way the agency
answers that is by consulting a job list
called the "Dictionary
of Occupational Titles."
In order to deny someone benefits,
the agency must cite
three jobs from that list that meet
the person's abilities.
But the vast majority of those jobs
were last updated in 1977.
And in the last few years,
people have been denied benefits
because the agency said they could
find jobs on that list,
including nut sorter,
dowel inspector, egg processor,
and magnetic-tape winder.
Which would be easy jobs to find
if you lived in 1977
or "The Busy World of Richard Scarry".
But it's a ridiculous list
for the modern day.
Also, and this isn't strictly relevant,
the Dictionary of Occupational Titles
doesn't have a website
that looks like it was made
in this century, either.
Because that looks like
the first website.
It looks so old, its address should
be w-w-w-dot-website-dot-com.
It's so old it looks like its webmaster
was Alan Turing.
- How old is it?
Its IP address is one.
But look, with all those bars
to clear,
it is hardly surprising
that the denial rate here is so high.
Less than a third of those applying
for SSI were allowed
at initial application, and for SSDI,
it's less than a quarter.
Now, I should say, you can appeal
an initial denial, and many do.
In fact, appeals are so commonplace,
there are even lawyers who specialize
in them,
and advertise on TV like this.
You get hurt, you can't work, so you
apply for Social Security benefits,
but you get denied?
The laws are so confusing, how do you
get your benefits before you go broke?
If you've been denied your Social
Security disability benefits,
call me right now!
Call Jim Adler, he can help you
get your checks started.
I know how to cut through
that red tape, call me right now!
"Call me right now! I'm a big tough
man with a big loud voice.
Call me right now! I like trucks that
go wee and meat that goes squee!
Call me right now! I piss, shit, and cum
gasoline. Call me right now!"
We've actually featured that man
on this show before.
He calls himself the Texas Hammer
and holds the unique distinction
of being the first person in history
who has the voice of someone
who would beat his face up.
Once you appeal, though,
you can go through multiple stages.
The first, in person, is with
an administrative law judge
who works for the Social Security
Administration.
They're allowed such wide discretion
that some judges approve
just 9% of the cases before them,
with others, as much as 96%.
If you're denied
by one of these judges,
you can eventually go outside
Social Security's system,
and take your case to a federal
district court,
which will determine if the agency
made a mistake in your first hearing.
And they have found
some pretty monumental ones,
like with this man, whose disability
claim for back pain
and permanent nerve damage from
an injury was repeatedly denied.
Turns out, both Social Security
and an administrative law judge
denied Jonathan's disability based on
someone else's medical records.
- The judge didn't notice that?
- No. Nobody noticed this.
I just think it's carelessness.
I mean, we see mistakes like this
that happen all the time.
All the time? It is not great that
a federal agency seems to have
the same eye for detail
as a hungover Starbucks barista.
Looks like, Bichael?
Benefits for Bichael?
I've got a Bichael here."
Now, the good news is,
if the court finds
that the Social Security Administration
really screwed up,
the agency itself
has to pay your lawyer's fees.
But in a sign of just
how often it fucks up,
it's had to pay more than $390 million
in attorney fees
over the past decade.
And all this takes time and effort.
Applicants are waiting on average
eight months for an initial decision,
with appeals taking even longer.
In fact, most wait over a year
for a final decision on their claim.
But that man you just saw has been
trying to get benefits
for eight years now.
And think how much has changed
in the last eight years.
Barack Obama went from the most
powerful man in the country
to an unemployed guy
who tweets playlists.
Eight years ago,
Ryan Gosling saved jazz.
Eight years ago, Harambe.
Harambe, eight years ago.
If you can say, "I applied for benefits
when Harambe was alive,"
and still not have them,
the system is moving too slow.
And this is due, in part, to the fact
the Social Security Administration has
been underfunded for over a decade.
Their budget was slashed in 2011
as part of a Republican-led austerity
campaign, and it has never recovered.
So, it's been serving a growing number
of applicants and beneficiaries,
with less resources and staff.
It is frankly no wonder, last year,
there was a backlog of over a million
pending initial disability claims.
And those delays have real costs for
those stuck waiting, like this man.
I have a bone disease,
amongst other things,
and my body just won't let me
work anymore.
Elvin Spriggs, from West Portsmouth,
Ohio, near the Kentucky border,
tells us he was living under
this Greenlawn Avenue bridge
in Columbus for a while.
You can't sleep 'cause you don't know
who's coming around the next corner.
You don't know
what you're going to encounter.
Thankfully, a friend took him in,
as Alvin fought to get his approved
Social Security benefits.
The whole ordeal, he says,
lasted nearly four years.
That's the barrier between me
and my own place.
I'm not trying to get rich.
I just want what's owed to me.
If you want to get rich quick,
getting disability benefits
is the worst possible way to do that.
Everyone knows the fastest way
to get rich is to win the lottery.
The easiest is to have rich parents,
the grossest is to marry
Rupert Murdoch,
and the most absurd is to become
the Hawk Tuah Girl.
These are your main options
in this economy.
And, for the record, it's not like the
benefits are particularly generous.
The average monthly SSDI benefit
is currently just over $1,500,
and the maximum monthly SSI
payment is $943 for an individual.
And even if you get approved,
your troubles still aren't over.
And that brings us to the incredibly
stringent rules
that we force those who receive
these benefits to live by.
First, they have to deal with aggressive
caps on income and savings.
Let's say you're no longer able
to work full-time, so you get SSDI.
If you're able to work a little bit,
part-time,
you're allowed to do that
and to get paid,
but only to a point.
In 2022, if your monthly wages
went from $1,350 to 1,351,
that one dollar could make
you lose your entire benefit.
And for SSI recipients,
the rules are even stricter.
Because that program places
hard limits
on how much money you're allowed
to have in savings.
You're allowed to have
a few resources,
like owning one car and a home,
but beyond that, you can have
no more than $2,000 worth of assets.
Any more and you could lose
your benefits.
And that is the case even if what
sends you over the limit
is something like receiving a small
inheritance, or even a birthday gift.
And as this woman explains,
the current asset limit makes it
functionally impossible to save money.
As a single person, I'm only allowed
to have $2,000 in the bank.
My van broke down again.
I need to get myself a van.
Most vans cost more than $2,000,
especially if you want one when
the engine is still running,
or you're gonna plan on pushing it
like Fred Flintstone.
I can't even do a GoFundMe
because a GoFundMe
would put me over asset limits,
and I would lose my income.
She's right. The limit not only
punishes you for saving money,
it even constrains you from
accepting help from others.
She's also right about no one wanting
to drive a Flintstones car except,
of course, morning-drunk
Hoda and Kathie Lee.
Yabba-dabba-DUI.
And if you're wondering,
why only $2,000?
That is because Congress
hasn't raised the limit in decades,
and it's never been indexed
to inflation.
If it had, it'd be $10,000 today.
And you should know, the agency
polices this vigorously,
sending overpayment notices to more
than two million people each year.
If they find that you went over the cap
in your bank account,
they might advise you
to spend it down,
so you're below their limit.
Or they might suspend or cancel
your benefits
or even try and claw back
all the money they sent you,
which can be thousands of dollars.
It is no wonder people are so careful
to stay under the limit,
but even that is not a guarantee
of safety here.
Because, as you've seen tonight,
the agency's both understaffed
and error-prone,
so mistakes get made.
For instance, many recipients saw
their benefits suspended
as a result of Covid stimulus checks
being automatically deposited
into their bank accounts.
That money wasn't supposed
to count against asset limits,
but too often, this happened.
Dave Greune's daughter
Julia's only income
is her monthly Social Security
disability check.
Julia is blind and has cerebral palsy.
But during the Covid pandemic,
$3,200 in stimulus checks,
economic impact payments,
were deposited in her bank account.
Now, SSA has frozen
her monthly payments
and is demanding thousands
of dollars be returned.
Social Security initially demanded Julia
repay more than double the amount
she got in stimulus money,
about $7,300
for months of Social Security benefits
the agency now thinks
she was not entitled to receive.
So, I just assumed since the
government put the money in,
they would understand that
she's gonna have extra money.
That is just infuriating incompetence.
I don't know how anyone can think
the government is run
by a shadowy cabal of elites,
when more often, it appears to be run
by three raccoons stacked up
in a Men's Warehouse suit.
'Cause only they would send someone
money during the pandemic,
forget they were the ones who sent it,
and then demand more than double
that money back.
That is chaotic raccoon-in-a-suit
behavior.
But maybe the ultimate expression
of the madness of our current system
is the so-called "marriage penalty"
Basically, if you're an individual
getting SSI,
your assets are capped at $2,000.
But if you get married, your entire
household assets
are capped at $3,000.
And if you go over,
you not only lose your benefits,
you risk losing access to Medicaid, too.
Just watch as this woman explains
why this means
she can never marry her partner.
Our marriage plans right now
are on hold
because there is a marriage penalty
to where if we get married,
his income would make me no longer
qualified to receive Medicaid.
So, all my caregivers, all my medical
equipment, everything,
I would not be able to have
any of that anymore.
To just pay for caregivers,
it would be between 100,000
and $200,000 a year.
Medicaid is the only type of insurance
that would pay for this much care.
It's really normal to fall in love
and to want to start a family.
It's really normal for disabled parents
to exist and have children.
It's very normal, and it's not treated
that way by society.
Exactly. It's not just about disabled
people getting their basic needs met,
it's about creating a society where
they're equal and active members.
Because it is very normal to fall
in love and want to get married.
It's admittedly less normal for the
object of that love to be a cabbage,
but that wedding was fucking beautiful,
and I apologize to nobody.
And with all this bureaucratic bullshit,
it is no wonder that so many who rely
on these benefits feel trapped
in a cycle of poverty.
One study found roughly half of all
supplemental income beneficiaries
had incomes below the federal
poverty line even with their benefits.
So, what can we do here?
Well, as we've said before, we could
switch to universal healthcare,
which would solve at least part of this.
But short of that, there are smaller,
significant measures
that we could take.
The Social Security Administration
clearly needs to be funded properly.
Also, in making determinations,
they need to give more weight
to the assessment of people's own
doctors, and update their jobs list
to the 21st century.
And there's actually
some good news here.
Because there are currently two bills
in Congress that, if passed,
would address at least some
of what you've seen tonight.
Both would raise the asset limit
to $10,000 for individuals
and index it to inflation.
And this bill would also raise benefits,
and increase the amount of outside
income beneficiaries could earn.
Neither bill would fix everything,
but they'd be a start,
and Congress could pass at least
one this year if they cared to.
And I'd argue that they should, and you
could call your representatives
and tell them that,
if you were so inclined.
Because, to put all of this in terms
the Social Security Administration
seems to prefer, and I absolutely
hate myself for doing this,
this system needs to be better.
Not just for the sake of disabled
people, but for everyone.
Are you ready to do this? Okay.
What kind of society
do we want to live in?
One that punishes people
with endless paperwork
for having a medical condition
like chronic granulocytopenia?
Do we want a society that creates
endless hoops
people have to jump through
for the tiniest morsel of support?
Or do we want a society that steps up
to the plate
and actually delivers for the people?
If it is that one, then we need
to make changes here.
Because right now,
this system is fucked.
I mean, supremely and massively
fucked. I don't like that at all.
That is our show, thank you
so much for watching,
we'll see you next week, good night.
No. Stop! Don't mime me.
I don't want to be mimed.
Stop what you're doing right now!
I'm scooting away.
I'm leaving you.
Don't mime coming after me!