Midsomer Murders (1997) s12e01 Episode Script
The Dogleg Murders
Like this? Like this.
Like this? Yeah.
That's better.
(SNIFFS) (PIG SNORTS) Good boy.
I gave Becky Tunstall a lesson today, Mum.
I know.
I'm so pleased.
She's a lovely girl.
Can I ask her out? Not yet.
Not till I say so.
You and Becky Tunstall, you make a lovely couple.
Take it out the back, Colin.
Put it away safe and sound.
I haven't finished.
Do as you're told, this minute.
(LAUGHS) Stop that, Colin! Stop it! Do you want a good thrashing? Do you? No, Mum.
Then get on with your chores.
(SNORTS) This used to be the library, you know, till your father ripped out all the book cases.
Yes, Martin.
I've heard that story more than once.
By the way, I've noticed there's a loose tile up on the west gable.
Grandad always worried about that roof.
Well, you can attend to it when you buy the house.
If you buy the damn house.
I only need a couple more days.
Well, that's all you've got, before the asking price goes up.
Again.
I'm gonna have to get all the muck off these beams.
That's going to be job number one.
Bully for you.
Well, I'm off to play golf.
See yourself out.
You know the way, don't you? I'll see you at the club, Will.
Won't be long now.
No.
I found it in the spare room.
No.
Oh, come on, Tom.
It was good fun when we used to play tennis.
No, it was not.
Rose-tinted spectacles there, Joyce.
I loved that club.
I don't know why we ever left.
Well, apart from the snobbery and the extortionate fees, the small matter of me arresting the treasurer for murdering his mistress.
Details.
Details.
We've got to keep active, Tom.
Why? What about waking? Muddy boots.
Swimming.
Chlorine.
Disgusting.
How about golf? Oh, you must be joking.
(SIGHS) I give up.
Good.
Hey, Joyce, what about those tennis shorts you used to wear? Have you still got them? Good morning, Captain.
Good morning, Captain.
Do you know what the time is, Kemp? Do you mind? I'm trying to hole out.
Village members should be off the course by midday.
I reckon your watch must be fast.
It's not even five to yet.
Don't worry, Mr Kingslake, this is our last hole.
Well, make sure it is.
Ruddy yokels cluttering up the course.
Oh, come on, Kingslake.
They're only here half a day a week.
Ooh! I don't like Kemp's manner.
He's a trouble maker.
He gives us a jolly good discount at that garage of his.
I'd rather pay the full whack and not have his ugly mug cluttering up the course.
Well, I prefer Kemp to that jumped-up beggar Claypole.
God, yes, any day.
Go on, then, Drinkwater.
Rumour has it that Claypole is angling for full membership.
Over my dead body.
But not chance of it with you three on the Membership Committee, eh? You know the form, Jerry.
Can't discuss membership matters outside the committee room.
They're just a pain in the ruddy arse.
(SIGHS) Oh, put the thing out of its misery, Drinkwater, for pity's sake.
(LAUGHS) Sliced it.
Ha! Plugged in Old Glory! Ha ha! Damn! Ali, you really should be quiet when someone's making his stroke.
Oh, don't be so wet.
A ton says he won't get out of there in one.
OK.
How about three? I'll tell you what let's make it five.
For heaven's sake, you two.
A demi-grand, it is.
Oh, yes.
Route one, chaps.
A ton says I get up and down in two.
Any takers? Not me, Ali.
Me neither.
You big girls' blouses.
Rebecca! Rebecca, come here this minute.
And you you go back to the pro shop now.
Yes, sir.
What? I pay for you to have lessons with the pro and not with the steward's son.
Clyde didn't turn up, so - I don't care.
You are not to associate with that boy.
Do you understand? Associate (?) What do you mean, associate? You know very well what I mean.
Martin, you have got to do something about Clyde Patchett.
Come in, Will.
I turn up today and find my daughter being taught by thatghastly Fountain boy.
Actually, Darren isn't a bad little player.
He's not even the assistant pro.
He's the damned steward's son.
And where is Patchett, anyway? He'll be in later.
He's got a touch of flu, I think.
The kind you catch from a bottle? Now, listen, Martin, you are the captain of this club.
Either you do something about Patchett, or I will.
Ali, your ball's over here.
What's the matter, Kingslake? Don't you trust me? For crying out loud! Mum says you're late.
All right, but she'll have to wait till tomorrow.
Hey! What the hell's going on? Out in one, Kingslake.
You owe me 500.
That's impossible.
Are you accusing me of cheating? He played it out fair and square, Mr Kingslake.
Oh, yeah? And what's it got to do with you? What are you doing on the course at this time of day, anyway? Broken sprinkler on the eighth.
Well, in case you hadn't noticed, this is the 12th.
So shove off.
Course, you'll give me a chance to win my money back.
Of course.
A grand on Crisp's Folly, then.
A grand, it is.
Are you all right, old chap? Yeah Never better.
Only a grand, Drinkwater.
No pressure.
Let the man, play, Ali.
Oh, nice one, Jer.
Don't count your chickens, Drinkwater.
Anything can happen on Crisp's Folly.
Ho ho ho! Yes! Route one! Gentlemen, I am on a roll! Well, where the hell's my ball? Like you said, Kingslake, anything can happen on Crisp's Folly.
Must have had a bad bounce, Ali.
No point looking for it, Ali.
Might as well go back to the tee.
I hit it straight down the middle! Right.
You want some? Right? Do you? Because I'm ready if you are.
Kingslake? How the hell did that get there? I hope you're not going to say your ball was on the fairway all the time.
For God's sake, Kingslake, what are you doing? (BREATHES SHALLOWLY) Ali? (BUSHES RUSTLE) You idiot.
Are you trying to kill me? Sorry.
I've got a bone to pick with you.
Oh, really? About him.
Giving my daughter lessons instead of you.
Well, the thing is, I must have picked up a spot of food poisoning.
Now what? Something terrible's happened! (PANTS) Some Someone S-Someone's Someone's what, Ed? Someone has killed Ali Kingslake.
Multiple heads wounds, Tom.
Vicious stuff.
Done with that club? Probably.
Won't know for sure until we've got him on the slab.
Beaten to death with a one iron.
What a way to go.
This hole was famous, you know.
I played it once.
I got a quadruple bogey.
It's known as Crisp's Folly.
Crisp's what? Folly.
A chap called Crisp lost his house on a bet playing this hole.
It's got a 90-degree dogleg, you see.
You take a driver from the tee, you end up in the jungle.
With an iron, you may not get a shot at the green.
Well, that's absolutely fascinating, George, but I don't speak golf.
Where's Jones got to? That's where the momentum That's where the momentum comes in.
Time for golf, have we? Ahsir.
This is Martin Crisp, club captain.
And Will Tunstall, president.
Dreadful business, Chief Inspector.
Rest assured that we at Whiteoaks will do everything we can to assist with the investigation.
I think you should know that we've had problems on this hole before.
Problems? Vandalism.
Loutish behaviour.
You see, there's a public footpath goes across the fairway.
It's a damned nuisance.
What is that? Periscope, sir.
So people using the footpath can check if anyone's on the 13th tee.
Health and safety is always a priority at Whiteoaks.
Mr Crisp, is that the Crisp of Crisp's Folly? Yes, it was my grandfather, the black sheep of the family.
As you probably know, John Cotton is a member here, so lines of communication will be first rate.
John Cotton? Your Chief Superintendent, Inspector.
Yes Well, thank you, gentlemen, That'll be all for now.
We'll talk to you again, of course.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Since when has Johnny Cotton been Chief Superintendent, eh? Last week.
You should read your emails.
I can't.
The computer's broke.
What's this? Kingslake's ball, sir.
Is it? If Kingslake's ball was here, what was he doing in there? Hacking it out probably.
Mind you, he'd need a miracle shot to get to here from in there.
So Kingslake disappears into the undergrowth, and one of his mates goes looking for him, yeah? A man called Drinkwater found the body.
He says he saw someone fleeing the scene.
Any description? No.
Just a flash of someone in a blue hoodie.
Oh, a hoodie? Ho ho ho.
That's perfect, isn't it? Local thug attempts robbery.
Respectable citizen resists.
Thug beats respectable citizen to death with his own clubs.
How convenient is that? Maybe that's what happened, sir.
Yeah, well, I'm not holding my breath.
Let's go talk to some of these golfers.
Well, we were playing the 13th, Crisp's Folly, and Ali creamed it off the tee.
Absolutely mullered it.
But when we got on the fairway, lo and behold, no sign of Ali's ball.
So Mr Kingslake's ball must have gone into theinto the Rough.
.
.
rough.
Well, on Crisp's Folly, you've got jungle either side of you.
There's not much point in looking for it.
Might as well reload.
Reload? Go back to the tee and play a new ball.
But Ali charged off into the trees.
To look for his ball? Wellyes.
Suppose so.
And you went to help him Yes, I ErI meanno.
Which exactly? Well, no because his ball was there on the fairway.
But you just said there was no sign of it.
At first, yes.
But then he Then he obviously found it and played out.
So Mr Kingslake's ball reappeared but he didn't.
Yes, that's right, so.
.
Ahem.
I So you went in to see if he was all right, didn't you? Yes.
That's right.
I was a little concerned.
There had been incidents in the past.
Were these incidents reported to the police? I'm really not sure.
No idea.
So, Mr Drinkwater, you went in to see if Mr Kingslake was all right and? Yes.
There he was.
Just lying there.
I thought maybe he was ill or something.
Then I saw the blood and the And then I heard a noise in the wood and saw thisthis chap running away.
But you can't describe this chap, Mr Drinkwater.
Not really.
I didn't see his face or anything.
He was wearing one of those hooded things.
Bright blue.
Ghastly colour.
And until you played the 13th, it had been a game much like any other, had it? Nothing untoward, nothing unusual.
No.
Nothing at all.
All perfectly normal.
I Mr Tully? Nothing.
Ali did have words with some village members near the 12th tee.
Hm.
Village members.
Residents are allowed to play mornings on Wednesday mornings.
Thank you.
Words? What kind of words? It was nearly midday.
Ali thought it was time they were off the course.
Would you mind if we rang for a refill, Inspector? No, please.
(RINGS BELL) (KNOCK ON DOOR) Large ones, please, Mrs Fountain.
Right away, Mr Monkberry.
He was a lovely man, was Mr Kingslake.
A lovely man.
I'm sure he was, Mrs Fountain.
Eileen Fountain.
Mrs Fountain's the steward here.
I've been working here 30 years.
We've never had anything like this.
All right, Mrs Fountain.
That'll do.
We're gonna have to talk to these village members.
Mr Kemp and Mr Claypole.
You won't be able to talk to them here, Inspector.
No.
Village members are not allowed in the club house, sir.
You'll find them in the cooler.
The cooler? The shed behind the car park, sir, for the use of village members.
There's something that lot aren't telling us.
I agree, sir.
Get Forensics to check their golf clubs, all of 'em.
Yes, sir.
Look, Jones.
There seems to be an assault taking place.
They're brothers, believe it or not.
Are they? Mrs Fountain's boys, the steward we met.
One's the green keeper, the other works in the pro shop.
Want to interview them now? No.
I'll save that pleasure for later.
Where's this cooler? It's round there.
Alistair Kingslake did a lot for this club.
He'll be sorely missed.
Not by me he won't.
Steady on, Archie.
Inspector Barnaby wants the truth, not the spin.
Indeed, I do.
Well, the truth is, he was the rudest man I ever met.
When you met him on the course, gentlemen, what happened? We was on the 16th green, next to the 12th tee, It was coming up to midday.
Kingslake reckoned we should be off the course.
He's forever trying to chuck us off.
Was.
He's a stickler for the rules, that's all.
Quite right, too.
That's what golf's all about.
Sticking to the rules.
Where were you this afternoon? Giving Becky Tunstall a lesson.
What kind of lesson? Good question, that.
Careful, Kemp.
Or what? You'll set your big brother on me? Steady on, lads.
What will Inspector Barnaby think? What kind of lesson? Golf, of course.
So you're a professional.
(LAUGHS) He works the pro shop three days a week.
And I do some coaching.
Only when Clyde Patchett's under the weather, which is most days.
Did you play Crisp's Folly this morning? Yeah.
About half-ten.
There have been incidents, have there not, at Crisp's Folly in the past? Incidents? Yeah.
Confrontations with the local hooligans, that sort of thing.
Only incidents on Crisp's Folly are golfing incidents.
It's a beast of a hole.
Ever get the feeling you're not wanted? You're imagining things.
(TOOTS HORN) (TOOTS HORN) We need to talk.
Follow me.
And you didn't hear it from me, all right? So Alistair Kingslake bet Jerry Drinkwater that he couldn't get out of this bunker with one stroke? That's right, and And? And what, Mr Tully? Well, Jerry jumped into the bunker and the next thing we knew his ball was out of the sand and right on the green.
It was a pretty miraculous shot, to be quite honest.
Ali certainly thought so.
They There was brief discussion, shall we say? Did Mr Kingslake accuse him of cheating? Well, it came pretty close, I can tell you.
Then Colin Fountain popped up and said he saw Jerry play out fair and square.
So that was that.
The green keeper? Yes, he was lurking about.
Anyway, the whole thing seemed to upset Jerry no end.
Then he bet Ali ã1,000 on Crisp's Folly.
What? ã1,000? Look, a certain amount of gambling goes on at Whiteoaks.
Always has done.
No doubt Ali Kingslake can afford to lose a grand here and there, but I can't.
And Jerry Drinkwater - can he afford it? I really couldn't say.
So, Mr Tully .
.
we have Kingslake and Drinkwater playing Crisp's Folly for ã1,000.
Kingslake clouts his ball into the wood.
He goes in after it and suddenly out it pops.
So it would seem.
Another miraculous shot.
I suppose so, yes.
Mr Tully, do you think that Kingslake cheated? Play the ball as it lies, play the course as you find it, and if you can't do either - Do what is fair.
Exactly.
That's the spirit of golf.
And very much the spirit of Whiteoaks, I'd like to think.
Mr Tully? You haven't answered my question.
If you really want to know a man, Inspector, play golf with him.
Ali had a temper, it's true, and his social skills may have been lacking, particularly when dealing with people he regarded as his, how shall I put it - social inferiors - but he was a man of complete integrity.
So there.
Right, what have we got? An argument over a bet.
Yeah.
Drinkwater cheats his way out of a bunker on the 12th hole.
They double the bet.
Kingslake gets his own back by cheating on the 13th.
Drinkwater confronts him in the wood.
They fight and Drinkwater beats Kingslake to death.
Then he makes up this story about someone in a blue track suit.
Both of them cheated.
It seems unlikely.
What? Golf being the last bastion of fair play? Something like that, yeah.
Yeah, well Well, whatever.
Drinkwater's still got a lot of explaining to do.
Hey, look we need a map of the golf course.
I need to know where that footpath goes to in both directions, where the road is, and, Jones, could you get hold of the local news media? This has got to be worth an appeal, hasn't it? You know, someone somewhere must know something.
You know the form.
And those incidents on the 13th hole - see if they were ever reported.
Anything else? Well, if all that's a bit too much for you, Jones, you could always call on the widow yourself.
No, thanks.
Are you familiar with the expression 'golf widow', Inspector? Er, yes.
Well, no.
ErmI have heard it used.
He played golf every day, rain or shine.
Then there were the committee meetings.
And the bar afterwards, of course.
So I'm used to being alone, you see.
I've had lots of practice.
May I ask, your late husband and Jerry Drinkwater - were they ermvery good friends? Well, Ali enjoyed bullying him.
And Jerry put up with it.
Maybe that passes for friendship in male circles.
What about Miles Tully and Ed Monkberry? Actually, he's seen more of those two in the last couple of months.
The three of them would spend hours on the putting green, banging on about some crisis at the club.
Crisis? What crisis? How would I know? Golf chatter was banned in my presence.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Barnaby.
'Where are you, sir?' I'm outside Martin Crisp's house.
Chief Superintendent Cotton's been trying to reach you.
What? 'I gave him your mobile number.
' Oh, thank you, Jones.
'Did you get a map yet?' Ernot yet, sir.
Well, get on with it.
'Yes, sir.
' (MOBILE RINGS) Chief Superintendent (!) (TURNS OFF PHONE) That was our last summer at Pellings.
My grandfather had already lost all his money.
The house went in the next month or so.
Look at him.
Not a care in the world.
Your father doesn't look too happy, does he? No, well, he knew which way the wind was blowing.
My poor dear father.
Worked himself into an early grave, paying off the debts.
He saw it as his duty.
Duty.
Not a word you hear bandied about much now, is it? No, sir, you don't.
My duty, as I see it, is to reclaim Pellings for my children and their children.
Reclaim, eh? Buy it back, Inspector.
Of course it's worth a fortune now.
We're nearly there.
With a bit of luck, we'll be back in the family home by the end of next month.
Actually, Mr Crisp, it was gambling at the club I came here to talk to you about.
Well, it goes on.
I've always tried to impose some sort of rule, but there's always stiff opposition.
The view is that it's a private matter between members.
If it doesn't impinge on other members, then If Alistair Kingslake was killed because of a bet .
.
would that qualify as impinging? Are you saying Jerry Drinkwater killed Ali? Well, sir, I have to consider all the possibilities.
I've played golf a couple of timeswith Janet Painter.
It's years ago.
Do you remember? No, I don't.
It was quite a good laugh.
We even had a lesson with the pro.
He said I had a natural swing.
A natural what? Swing.
(LAUGHS) Wait a minute.
Did you say it's called Whiteoaks? I did.
Well, that's the club Derek and Janet joined.
It took them ages to get in.
They were as pleased as punch.
They had to eat a 12-course dinner as a kind of test.
You know, eat your soup with your pudding spoon, you're out.
So the Painters are members of the Whiteoaks club, are they? Well, they were.
It was all Janet talked about for a while.
Then Derek had some work problems, I think and they packed it in.
They play badminton now.
(GASPS) Badminton, Tom.
(CHOKES AND COUGHS) No, Joyce! Yes, I'd say he was hit six or seven times.
Blows are consistent with a golf club? Yes, but Yes, but what, George? All the blows pretty much landed in the same place.
Good grouping, in fact.
The killer had a good eye.
Yes, good hand-eye co-ordination.
(MOBILE RINGS) It made it damned difficult separating one wound from another.
But there's one that's slightly off target.
And the angle's different.
Sir, it's Chief Superintendent Cotton.
Oh, not now.
He's in a Maybe that was the first hit.
He was on his feet at the time and that would explain the angle.
Could be.
But there's something bothering me, Tom, and I need a bit more time.
There's something bothering me too, George.
If you'd hit a ball into that wood, would you have used a one iron to get out of it? Now you come to mention it, no.
No, you use a one iron off the tee or on the fairway.
If at all.
There's an old saying: 'If there's lightning about, hold up a one iron.
'Even God can't hit a one iron.
' What's this? I'm not sure, but it wasn't from a golf club.
When he fell maybe.
No, the bruising's too small, too symmetrical.
A punchduring the struggle.
No, it wasn't a fist.
But whatever it was, it was sustained before the attack.
Right, thank you, George.
Thanks very much.
Anything back from Forensics about those golf clubs? Not yet, sir, but I've got a map.
Have you? Excellent.
Stick a few pins in it.
That'll look good.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Hello? 'Mr Monkberry.
' It's Sergeant Jones.
It's about your statement.
'When would be a good time to meet?' Oh, erm.
No, I'm a bit erm Mr Monkberry, is everything OK? Oh, yes, yes.
Um Well, I'm not quite sure to be honest.
I've just had rather an odd phone call.
What sort of phone call.
Oh, look, it's probably nothing.
Where are you? I can meet you.
I'm in Lovewood's Lane, near the club.
Lovewood's Lane.
Lovewood's Lane.
(HANGS UP PHONE) What are you doing here? Did you get a phone call too? Got it.
Yeah, I'll meet you there.
Hello? (TOOTS HORN) (TYRES SCREECH) Idiot! How many times do I have to tell you, Darren? Solids to the left, liquids to the right.
Sorry, Mum.
Liquids on the right.
And we don't need to hear from you, thank you very much.
Clyde, dear.
How nice to see you.
I bet it is.
Have you got something for me? And when's Darren's next lesson with Becky Tunstall? Ah, well, we need to talk about that.
What do you mean? Tunstall's put his foot down.
He's put his foot down.
He doesn't want Darren teaching Becky any more.
But we had an agreement.
Well, what can I do? Tunstall wants me to teach her.
I am the club pro, you know.
Wellyou'll have to pay the full interest rate, then.
I'll be wanting another ã200 a month, starting now, Clyde.
You should get rid of that silly car, dearie.
Don't you "dearie" me.
I will not be patronised by a jumped-up barmaid.
Don't worry.
Old man Tunstall will change his tune when I'm a full member.
Darren, when will you learn to keep your mouth shut? This goes no further than these four walls, do you understand? Darren a member? Are you serious? Is that what the posh cutlery's in aid of? Practising for dinner with the president? Oh, this is great.
Oh, this is hilarious.
What's so funny about it, eh? Get off me, you twerp! Do something, Col! Bash him up! Good morning.
Is this a bad moment? No, perfect.
I was just leaving.
You should have told me.
Families, eh, Inspector? Families, indeed, Mrs Fountain.
Lovely craftsmanship in that.
It was my late husband's.
He was steward at Whiteoaks before me.
I use it to keep track of the housekeeping.
You took over that job from him, did you? Yes, my husband was cut down in his prime, but the club saw fit to keep me on.
It was a godsend with two small boys to bring up.
What was it you wanted again? I wanted a word with Colin, if I may.
Colin? What about? Oh, it's nothing very much.
Well, he just popped out, as you saw.
Ah, yes, well, he can't have gone very far, so I'll take a look.
He might be feeding the pig.
I'll take you.
No, don't you trouble yourself.
Don't worry.
I'll follow my nose.
Oh, he won't say anything.
Of course he won't.
My handsome boy.
Mr Fountain Colin.
I'd like to talk to you about the day Alistair Kingslake was killed.
(PIG SQUEALS) Mr Kingslake said that Jerry Drinkwater cheated on the 12th hole, didn't he? Come on, Colin.
You were there.
You told Mr Kingslake that Jerry Drinkwater had played out of the bunker fair and square.
But he didn't, did he? Did he, Colin? No.
No.
So why did you cover for him? Mr Kingslake was a rude man.
Oh, so you did it to annoy Mr Kingslake? Yeah.
He was extremely annoyed.
It was funny.
I didn't like Mr Kingslake but I didn't kill him.
No, I don't think you did, Colin.
He's not gonna get her.
I'm sorry, who's not going to get who? My brother Darren.
Becky Tunstall would never go out with him.
Would she? I'm sorry, Colin.
I can't help you there.
Hello? Mr Monkberry! Mr Monkberry? (BUSHES RUSTLE) Hey! Hey, you! Argh! Look out, man! Did you see him? Who? A man in blue.
A man in blue fleeing the scene of a crime.
DS Jones, isn't it? (BREATHLESS) Ohhello, sir.
What on earth is going on, Sergeant? Well, there's a dead body sir.
(PANTS) Multiple stab wounds to the abdomen, Tom.
And no cuts on his hands or his arms? No.
No defensive wounds.
The attack took him by surprise, then.
No time to defend himself.
Or maybe he wasn't surprised because he knew his assailant.
What was that he said to you? He said he'd had an odd phone call.
The killer, do you think? No sign of his mobile, I suppose.
No, no.
Just his wallet.
There's no cash or credit cards in it, though.
So this person in the blue tracksuit actually exists.
Yes, indeed.
Spooky place.
Time was I'd have given my eye teeth to be a member here.
I'll stick to Causton Municipal, thank you very much.
Me too.
Oh, the Chief Superintendent wants to talk to us at the clubhouse, sir.
Well, the Chief Superintendent will have to wait.
I want to look at the 13th again.
So the killer must have known that Kingslake and his cronies were on the course.
He waits for them to get to the 13th tee, and when they do, he watches them through that periscope.
So he knows who's hit which ball? Exactly.
Now, he wants to lure Kingslake into the woods.
But Kingslake hits a great shot off the tee.
So the killer snaffles the ball and then goes into the woods.
Why would Kingslake bother looking for it? The ball could have gone anywhere.
You'd play another one off the tee.
Yeah, that's been bothering me too.
Maybe, Jones, maybe he didn't have to look for a ball at all.
Do you remember that bruise on his forehead? The ball was thrown at him.
Now, from what we know of Mr Kingslake, there's only one way he'd react to something like that, isn't there? Right.
He grabs a club at random Hence the one iron.
.
.
and heads off to confront whoever chucked his ball.
He gets jumped, has his club taken off him - No, not necessarily, Jones.
Not necessarily.
George Bullard is worried about one of the blows to Kingslake's head.
I don't want to jump the gun, but I reckon in a day or two George will come to us and tell us that the blow was done by a different club.
You want some? Because I'm ready if you are.
The subsequent blows were delivered by Kingslake's club in order to disguise or obscure the first blow.
(SQUELCHING) Good hand-eye co-ordination, says George Bullard.
He's a golfer, Jones.
A golfer.
That cheered you up, has it, sir? Look, I know you think I've got a prejudice against the golfers.
And I have.
But I've put it to one side for the moment.
The truth, Jones, is all I'm interested in, I promise you.
Well, I'm sure that'll please the Chief Superintendent.
Will you stop worrying about the Chief Superintendent? He's waiting for us back at the club house.
Is he? Yep.
Oh.
Now, of course, we can't be sure until the pathologist has completed his final examination.
But it looks likely that Mr Kingslake was struck by two golf clubs, one of which might have belonged to, or been in the possession of, his assailant.
So this thug was wandering around with a golf club? I think Inspector Barnaby is suggesting the murderer is a member of this club.
Indeed I am, sir, because that is a possibility.
A member? Ridiculous.
Drinkwater saw the murderer running away.
Monkberry was stabbed and had his cash and credit card stolen.
Sergeant Jones saw the thug in the blue track suit with his own eyes.
Gentlemen, Inspector Barnaby will do everything in his power to make sure that the club and its members are treated with tact, and discretion, isn't that right? Tom? Yes, yes, tact and discretion.
I think, John, you might mention the possibility of opening the front line.
Yes, of course.
I don't see any reason why the front line hole shouldn't be open for play from Monday, do you, Barnaby? They're well away from the SOCs.
I'll be playing over at Chedgrave Park for the time being.
I think it's best if I keep my distance.
I quite understand, John, and thanks for all your help.
A word, Barnaby.
I would appreciate it, Barnaby, if you would take my calls now and then.
Yes, I'm sorry.
You know, it's been a bithectic.
Of course.
Of course.
Do you play golf, Tom? Perhaps you'd like to join me at Chedgrave Park? No, I do not play golf, John.
I always thought it a bit unsporting, you know, hitting a stationary ball.
The more's the pity.
I play, sir.
I want a daily progress report.
I am disappointed in you.
It was worth a try.
Do you play? Yeah.
(PHONE RINGS) Jones.
Something's come up, sir.
There isn't a trace of blood on Drinkwater's clubs or Tully's and Monkberry's.
But there was an assault on Crisp's Folly a couple of years ago.
A bloke called Derek Painter was attacked.
Derek Painter? Yeah.
Here's the interesting thing.
The police were called by Harry Claypole, one of the village members.
Who has no recollection of any incidents on the 13th hole.
He's here now, in the cooler.
TV: (CROWD CHEERS) (KNOCK ON DOOR) TV: 'Sam, now we've seen a demonstration of the lob wedge, 'could you now show us a chip and run?' Morning.
We'd like a word, Mr Claypole.
Alone, if you don't mind.
Watch out, Harry.
Looks like they've caught up with you at last.
How can I help you, Inspector? TV: (CROWD CHEERS) Have another go.
To the left of the hole.
To the left of the hole, Becky.
OK, one more time.
Hello, Colin! Yeah.
I came across Mr Painter on Crisp's Folly.
He was up by the periscope in some distress.
He'd been attacked.
So I got to the club house and phoned the police.
Did Mr Painter ask you to phone the police? No, that was the thing.
When I told him, he got quite shirty.
Said there was no point wasting their time when he hadn't got a look at whoever it was.
OK, so the police arrive.
Yeah, they didn't speak to me.
They were only here five minutes.
Had a word with Mr Tunstall and Mr Painter and left.
Mr Tunstall.
Yeah, he sorted it out.
He was quite annoyed about me phoning the police as well.
Very concerned about the club's image, is Mr Tunstall.
Anyway, next time I stayed well out of it.
Next time? Er Oh, nothing.
Mr Claypole.
Well, Jerry Drinkwater was playing Crisp's Folly last year.
He come out the rough with a bloody nose.
Said he walked into a tree.
A few months after, Clyde Patchett was found in a bunker, doubled up, crying like a baby.
Caught himself in a sensitive spot with his sand wedge, he said.
Bit odd, though, him being a professional, and so on.
Were either of the Fountain brothers around at the times of these events? You're never far from a Fountain at Whiteoaks.
The Fountains seem to be an institution round here, don't they? Oh, yeah, the wonderful Mrs Fountain.
The sun shines out of her, all right.
As long as there's no money involved.
Now, what can you mean by that? That woman's so tight, she squeaks when she walks.
I did some work for her.
Put a new concrete floor in that damned pigsty of hers.
That was three years ago.
She still owes me half the money.
You should have told us about the attack on Mr Painter before.
Yeah, I know, I know, but I didn't want to Didn't want to cause any trouble for the club, did you? Look, there's a captain's committee meeting day after next.
They're proposing new members.
The captain, Mr Crisp, he's put me up for full membership.
I'd be the first village member to become a full member.
Mr Crisp thinks it's about time things were a bit more democratic around here.
Good for him.
He's a good bloke - Mr Crisp.
There's no side to him.
He manages the White Lion Hotel in Causton, you know.
You'll even find him serving behind the bar when they're short.
So he understands people like me.
He's got a bit of respect.
Well, Mr Claypole, I hope you succeed.
They have to vote unanimously, of course, but I'm well liked around here.
I'm sure you are.
All I've got to get through then is the president's dinner.
Bit of an ordeal, is it? Oh, yes.
Curtains if you pick up the wrong fork.
Like teeing off with your putter, you're out.
I'd be grateful if you didn't discuss this membership thing with anyone.
It's not done to discuss things in public.
Don't you worry, Mr Claypole.
Your secret is safe with us.
Thank you.
We need to talk to this Derek Painter bloke.
I'll get his details off the secretary.
No need.
I know how to get hold of him.
Derek Painter was a friend.
He used to be a member here.
But he packed it in rather suddenly.
Now, Jerry Drinkwater.
Never keep a car longer than three years.
Depreciation's terrible.
Have you got a minute, please? Er Er Later would be better for me or tomorrow.
No, now, please, Mr Drinkwater.
(TOOTS HORN) (DOOR CLOSES) Are you just moving in, Mr Drinkwater, or moving out? Oh.
Moving out.
(PHONE RINGS) Place is getting too small.
Growing family and so on.
(MACHINE BEEPS) MRS DRINKWATER ON MACHINE: 'It's me.
I've had enough.
We're in Dorset.
'Don't follow us.
I mean it, Jerry.
'Don't you dare try to speak to the children until my solicitor -' (TURNS OFF MACHINE) My wife's a bit depressed at the moment.
It's the move.
Mm.
We want to talk about the day Alistair Kingslake was killed.
For God's sake, I've told you everything.
But you haven't, sir.
You didn't tell us about the bet you had on with Alistair Kingslake.
Bet? What bet? Mr Drinkwater, if I suspect from this moment on that you are telling me something that is less than the complete truth, Jones here will handcuff you, take you to Causton Police station and charge you with conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.
Are we clear? Now, look - Are we clear about that? OK, all right.
It was a few quid, that's all.
If you say so.
And he accused you of cheating, didn't he? As good as.
The nerve of the man.
But you did cheat, Mr Drinkwater, didn't you? Now, just you hold your horses.
Just you hold on.
OK, all right.
I told him I'd got out of the bunker in one.
I'm ashamed to say it was a lie.
I've never done anything like that before in my life.
Never.
But I was sick to death of Kingslake's bullying, sick of him bullying me with his damned money.
So you doubled the bet on Crisp's Folly.
Yes.
A grand.
What an idiot.
There was no way I could pay him if I lost, but if I won, well .
.
the pleasure of taking a thousand smackers off Kingslake That man hated losing, believe me.
So what happened? His tee shot was in the trees.
Gone.
The next thing I knew, there's his ball in the middle of the fairway.
So you thought he'd cheated.
Yes, it was impossible.
I went after him to tell him what I thought of him.
There he waslying there.
Body all twisted.
I didn't kill him, I swear and I didn't kill Ed Monkberry.
I know you didn't kill Ed Monkberry because you were visiting Eileen Fountain, Mr Drinkwater, at the time, weren't you? Was I? Yes, you were.
Until you saw me.
What were you doing there? Oh, catering committee stuff.
Deadly dull.
(CLICKS HANDCUFFS) I I had an arrangement with Mrs Fountain, a private arrangement.
(SNAPS HANDCUFFS SHUT) She was good enough to lend me a small sum of money to tide me over.
I was paying her back.
You were borrowing money from Eileen Fountain? Well, I've known Mrs Fountain for years.
She's been very kind.
It was just to tide me over so I could keep on playing golf.
I've lost everything else, you see.
Now that's gone as well, I suppose.
Want to buy some clubs? We decided it was time we got more active, didn't we, Tom? Yes, we did, absolutely.
We were thinking maybe badminton.
So we came along for a look.
Badminton or golf.
Golf? Joyce has a natural swing.
Aren't you investigating those terrible murders at Whiteoaks? Yes, I am, for my sins.
Funnily enough, we were thinking of joining Whiteoaks at one point.
Oh, wait a minute.
Aren't you two members? Ermnot any more.
Don't talk to me about that place.
Oh, what happened? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
No, of course you don't.
No, I want to.
Tom might as well know.
I had a problem with gambling.
That's the long and the short of it.
The one thing that kept me out of trouble was golf.
Until I joined Whiteoaks.
Does gambling go on up there? Oh, it certainly does.
I was down a couple of grand with nothing but change in my pocket.
So I was pointed in the direction of someone who could help.
Was that someone, by any chance, Eileen Fountain? That's right.
The steward.
Turns out she's the club's unofficial banker.
Who pointed you in her direction? Will Tunstall.
He was the one I owed money to.
I should have listened to Martin Crisp.
You've probably heard his story.
Losing that lovely house.
Yes, after the membership committee voted us in, Martin Crisp took me to one side and warned me about the gambling element.
So you borrowed money from Eileen Fountain to pay off your gambling debts to Will Tunstall.
Keeping it in the family, he called it.
And I fell a couple of weeks behind with the payments.
One day I find myself in the trees on Crisp's Folly and Colin, Eileen Fountain's great lump of a son, looms out of nowhere and roughs me up.
What? Derek, you should have come to me.
Anyway, we put our heads together and managed to pay it all off.
So, no more Whiteoaks for us.
Stick to badminton.
That's my advice.
What's it for? Shut up, we're counting.
We're helping a friend, a very good friend who will help us in return.
But that's all we've got, that's everything.
Spread it thin, dad always said.
Shouldn't you be feeding a pig or something? She doesn't really like you.
She's just pretending.
She's just winding you up.
Ugh! Stop it, both of you, this minute! I decide what's best for this family.
Darren, get on with your work.
And, you get out and don't come back until you've calmed down.
You aren't going to get her.
Ah, the map.
Very nice.
Monkberry's body was found here, sir, just off the footpath, about 100 yards away from where Kingslake was found.
And the assaults on Drinkwater and Painter? Here, sir, where Kingslake was found.
And Clyde Patchett's alleged groin injury occurred in this bunker here.
Ah, Crisp's Folly again.
Right, so, Painter and Drinkwater assaulted here.
Yes, thank you, Jones.
Been there, done that.
What did Miles Tully have to say for himself? He said the meetings at Kingslake's house were about the membership committee.
They were worried about candidates that Martin Crisp is putting up like that Claypole bloke.
(POSH VOICE) Not our sort of chap, don't you know? Transpires, Jones, that Eileen Fountain runs a very, very lucrative money-lending operation.
Well, well.
That nice Mrs Fountain.
That nice Mrs Fountain.
Painter borrowed a couple of grand from her at extortionate rates to cover his losses and so did Jerry Drinkwater.
And heaven knows how may others.
Offering loans without a licence.
Consumer Credit Act, 1974.
And Colin found him.
He strong-arms those people who fall behind with their payments.
Well, that's extortion.
Let's pull 'em in.
No.
Let them be for the minute, while we work out the connection with those two murders.
Is there a connection? I mean, Kingslake had money.
He didn't need any loans and Monkberry wasn't a gambler.
So we could still be looking for a local bad boy.
There's got to be a connection, Jones.
Will Tunstall, it was, who delivered Derek painter into the delicate clutches of Eileen Fountain.
So let's go ask him why the president of Whiteoaks Golf Club touts for a loan shark? Yeah.
Have you got the money? I'll have the money by the end of the day.
I've heard all that before.
I had the money six months ago and you put the price up.
Because you took so long about it and the market went up.
Do you expect me to sell you an asset at less than the market price? Dad, that policeman's here.
Well, actually, this isn't terribly convenient.
It'll only take a minute.
I'm off to the club for a lesson, dad.
Who with? Don't get stressed.
It's with Clyde, OK? Well, I'd better be getting along.
No, no, Mr Crisp.
Stay where you are.
I'd like you to hear this too.
Have you caught the murderer, Inspector? No, this concerns Eileen Fountain.
It is alleged that she's been lending money to members of Whiteoaks.
Well, if Eileen wants to lend people a few quid here and there, surely that's her business.
Colin's been using force to extract repayments.
Now, did either of you know about this? Certainly not.
Mr Tunstall? No, of course not.
Mr Crisp, thank you.
I'd like to talk to Mr Tunstall alone now, please.
Yes, well, I have a committee meeting to prepare for.
Gambling, Will that's what's brought us to this sorry state.
You and me, both.
Spare me the sermonising, Martin.
And, Martin? What? So, you don't know anything about Mrs Fountain's money lending? Am I missing something here? Never mind Mrs Fountain.
Two men have been murdered.
Two damned good friends of mine.
We have a witness who said you did.
He claims you recommended her.
That makes you an accomplice, Mr Tunstall.
That's outrageous.
You wait till my friend John Cotton hears about this.
I'll be reporting it to the Chief Superintendent later on today, sir, so it won't be a very long wait.
Somewhere along the line, someone got their wires crossed.
Perhaps.
Perhaps I didn't fully take on - Mr Tunstall, thank you very much.
That will be all for the time being.
Get hold of George Bullard.
I want to talk to him right away.
Sir? Oi! Ha ha ha! Sometimes I love this job.
Tom, I've had a bit of a breakthrough.
You know I was worried about those blows to Kingslake's head? Two different clubs.
Yes That's right.
Do you know what sort yet? There's something about the injuries I'm still trying to work out.
If I may humbly suggest, George, take a look at Monkberry here.
Six stab wounds to the right side of the abdomen.
George Six stab wounds to the right side.
(LAUGHS) Of course.
Oh, damn! Damn! I don't get it.
The murderer was left-handed.
The first blow to Kingslake's head was with a left-handed golf club.
Which means the shape of the indentation was reversed.
That's what confused me.
So we're looking for a left-handed golfer.
Yeah.
There can't be that many at Whiteoaks.
Well, there is one that springs to mind.
Oh, and Martin? Martin Crisp.
He's a leftie.
Crisp? Remember that impromptu lesson you had on the 13th fairway? See, we've been looking at the gambling and we should have been looking at a house.
The house Crisp's grandfather lost in a bet? Yeah.
Pellings.
How much is it worth? Two million? Three million? More? How does a hotel manager manage to raise that kind of money? I don't know, but how does killing Monkberry and Kingslake help? They were part of the membership committee along with Tully.
Do you remember the meetings that the three of them had? They didn't like the fact that Crisp was considering Claypole for membership.
So? I think Martin Crisp had someone much more controversial lined up.
Someone the three of them wouldn't vote for in a million years.
So he gets rid of two of them.
That leaves Miles Tully.
And the committee meeting's today.
We'd better find him.
Thank you, George.
My pleasure.
Is ereverything in order Mrs Fountain? Oh, yes, Mr Crisp.
Everything is very much in order.
Just the man.
Martin, you wanted to see me.
Yes, I thought we might play a couple of holes together.
There's something I'd like your advice on.
Well, of course.
I'd be delighted.
Thank you, Mrs Tully.
We'd better get a move on.
He's gone to the club to have a drink with Crisp.
So Crisp borrows money wherever he can.
He scrimps, he saves.
Finally, he gets enough money together to buy Pellings.
But then Tunstall raises the priceagain.
So there he is, still wanting more cash.
And who does he turn to? Eileen Fountain.
Eileen Fountain.
But she wants something in return, doesn't she? Membership for her beloved Darren.
Becky, wait a minute.
What is it? I want to talk to you.
It's important.
I'm late for my lesson with Clyde.
Dad will kill me if I miss it.
It won't take long.
I want to take you out tonight.
I'll have something to celebrate.
I can't, Darren.
Tomorrow night, then.
Sorry, darling, but no.
You're a sweet boy, Darren.
You really are.
And we have fun.
I'm not going out with you, OK? I'm gonna be a member, Becky.
What are you talking about? A full member, here at the club.
The committee's going to vote me in today.
Even if that's true, which I doubt very, very much, sweetheart, it doesn't make any difference.
Why not? You and me, darling, we're never gonna be an item, are we, what, with my dad and everything? But we can still see each other, here at the club, can't we? Now and then.
(MOBILE RINGS) What is it, Colin? 'Mum wants to see you in the cooler now.
' (SIGHS) Miles, I wanted a word about the committee meeting this evening.
What about it? Well I wanted to talk about the candidates for membership.
You know we're not supposed to discuss that, secret ballot and so on.
Yes, I know, but this is somewhat of an emergency.
I need your help.
If this is about Harry Claypole, then I'm sorry, Martin, I can't support him for membership.
This isn't about Claypole.
You can black-ball Claypole by all means.
I'm talking about Darren Fountain.
Darren?! Darren Fountain? Are you serious? Completely.
Everyone on the committee will approve him.
I hope you will as well.
No way, Martin.
Absolutely no way.
(BALL HITS TREES) Oh, dear.
I seem to have pulled it into the rough.
Ah, Darren, let me buy you a drink.
Big day today.
Where's Mum? Well, she isn't here, Sonny Jim.
Come on, what'll it be? This may be your last chance.
No, thanks, Harry.
I've got a lot on my mind.
You may not see me in here again after today.
Colin? Colin, open this door.
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW) I'll tell Mum.
Colin! Oh, hello, Becky.
Oh, Clyde.
We're supposed to be having a lesson.
Sorry.
A touch of food poisoning.
Hello, Becky.
I mean, crying out loud, Martin.
Think about it, Darren Fountain in the bar as a member? Ordering drinks from his mother? I'm sorry you see it that way.
I think mine went in over there.
Help me have a look, would you? I'm not a snob! Absolutely not a snob! But a place like Whiteoaks, it's a delicate balance, isn't it? I mean, we have to preserve that balance, don't we? Otherwise, what's the point of it being a club in the first place? We've been friends a long time, Miles.
This is very important to me.
So I'm asking you as a favour.
No can do, Martin, for Ed and Ali's sake.
Anyway, what's so important about Darren Fountain becoming a member? We'll never find it, Martin.
Might as well reload.
Isn't that it there? Ahh! Ohh! Oh, please, don't hit me.
I just want my house back.
Let it go! Let it go! Ahh! (WHIMPERS) Still think golf's a boring game, sir? (POLICE RADIO IN DISTANCE) Sir? Let's have a look.
That's blood, isn't it? Yep.
Look at this.
(MOBILE RINGS) Jones.
Uh-huh.
Right, OK.
A commotion up at the club house.
Something about the Fountains.
It's high time we rounded up the Fountains.
Come on, let's go! Come on! Darren.
Darren, where's Colin? How would he know? You don't have to say anything, Darren.
I saw Colin leave about ten minutes ago with Becky Tunstall in the car.
Becky? Mum, he's gone to get the money.
Darren, shut up this minute.
Mrs Fountain, would be that the money you were planning to give to Martin Crisp? I don't know what you're talking about.
Where is Mr Crisp? I hope these shenanigans won't unduly affect the committee meeting.
Mr Claypole, what was that job you did for Mrs Fountain? New floor and drainage in the pigsty.
And you still owe me 600 quid, Eileen.
It was a bodge.
You're no better than a cowboy, Harry Claypole.
Mrs Fountain, why would a woman as careful as you lavish money on a pigsty, I wonder? I don't know what you're driving at.
You said Daddy was here.
I've got something for you, Becky.
Colin, you're hurting me.
(PIG SNORTS) Is it vicious? No.
As long as you don't move.
Colin, you're starting to freak me out.
Why do you like Darren more than me? Who said I did? You do, though, don't you? You never talk to anyone.
Why should people like you if you don't talk to them? You're a bit scary, Colin.
You're scaring me now.
I'm going.
Wait.
Look God.
It's for you.
Me? So you'll like me.
No, Colin, that's not the way it works.
Now let me go.
Wait! All right, all right.
You're all right now (SHOUTING) (PIG GRUNTS) So all the details were written in Eileen Fountain's ledger.
Yes, her book-keeping was impeccable.
And apart from Tully, Kingslake and Monkberry, everyone, every single man on that membership committee, was in hock to Eileen Fountain.
They would have voted for the pig if asked.
What about the builder chap? Claypole? Martin Crisp introduced him to test the water, to see what the reaction would be.
Of course, Kingslake and co were outraged.
So he knew that Darren Fountain wouldn't stand a chance.
So Crisp had to eliminate the opposition.
Yeah.
Crisp's office had French windows, opened on to the golf course.
He kept a little buggy, a little golf buggy, there all the time.
People were used to him buzzing around in it.
So he hid the buggy, got into his track suit, and waited by the periscope.
Now, he was due to play a round of golf with Ed Monkberry.
But Monkberry cancelled, so he had to improvise with the knife.
Do go and get changed, Tom.
They'll be here in a minute.
There's plenty of time.
Oh, God.
What? I forgot my bat.
You mean, your racquet.
Don't worry.
Here it is.
Oh, thank you, Joyce.
What would I do without you? Not a lot.
Oh! Here they are.
You two are cruising for a bruising today.
We're gonna run you ragged.
You'd better get changed, Tom.
We're on in five minutes.
Absolutely.
Ooh.
Are you all right? Yeah, fine.
No.
Oh, I think I've tweaked my hamstring.
Run it off, that's the thing.
Yes, get on court and run it off.
Right.
You three, you can start without me.
Please.
Like this? Yeah.
That's better.
(SNIFFS) (PIG SNORTS) Good boy.
I gave Becky Tunstall a lesson today, Mum.
I know.
I'm so pleased.
She's a lovely girl.
Can I ask her out? Not yet.
Not till I say so.
You and Becky Tunstall, you make a lovely couple.
Take it out the back, Colin.
Put it away safe and sound.
I haven't finished.
Do as you're told, this minute.
(LAUGHS) Stop that, Colin! Stop it! Do you want a good thrashing? Do you? No, Mum.
Then get on with your chores.
(SNORTS) This used to be the library, you know, till your father ripped out all the book cases.
Yes, Martin.
I've heard that story more than once.
By the way, I've noticed there's a loose tile up on the west gable.
Grandad always worried about that roof.
Well, you can attend to it when you buy the house.
If you buy the damn house.
I only need a couple more days.
Well, that's all you've got, before the asking price goes up.
Again.
I'm gonna have to get all the muck off these beams.
That's going to be job number one.
Bully for you.
Well, I'm off to play golf.
See yourself out.
You know the way, don't you? I'll see you at the club, Will.
Won't be long now.
No.
I found it in the spare room.
No.
Oh, come on, Tom.
It was good fun when we used to play tennis.
No, it was not.
Rose-tinted spectacles there, Joyce.
I loved that club.
I don't know why we ever left.
Well, apart from the snobbery and the extortionate fees, the small matter of me arresting the treasurer for murdering his mistress.
Details.
Details.
We've got to keep active, Tom.
Why? What about waking? Muddy boots.
Swimming.
Chlorine.
Disgusting.
How about golf? Oh, you must be joking.
(SIGHS) I give up.
Good.
Hey, Joyce, what about those tennis shorts you used to wear? Have you still got them? Good morning, Captain.
Good morning, Captain.
Do you know what the time is, Kemp? Do you mind? I'm trying to hole out.
Village members should be off the course by midday.
I reckon your watch must be fast.
It's not even five to yet.
Don't worry, Mr Kingslake, this is our last hole.
Well, make sure it is.
Ruddy yokels cluttering up the course.
Oh, come on, Kingslake.
They're only here half a day a week.
Ooh! I don't like Kemp's manner.
He's a trouble maker.
He gives us a jolly good discount at that garage of his.
I'd rather pay the full whack and not have his ugly mug cluttering up the course.
Well, I prefer Kemp to that jumped-up beggar Claypole.
God, yes, any day.
Go on, then, Drinkwater.
Rumour has it that Claypole is angling for full membership.
Over my dead body.
But not chance of it with you three on the Membership Committee, eh? You know the form, Jerry.
Can't discuss membership matters outside the committee room.
They're just a pain in the ruddy arse.
(SIGHS) Oh, put the thing out of its misery, Drinkwater, for pity's sake.
(LAUGHS) Sliced it.
Ha! Plugged in Old Glory! Ha ha! Damn! Ali, you really should be quiet when someone's making his stroke.
Oh, don't be so wet.
A ton says he won't get out of there in one.
OK.
How about three? I'll tell you what let's make it five.
For heaven's sake, you two.
A demi-grand, it is.
Oh, yes.
Route one, chaps.
A ton says I get up and down in two.
Any takers? Not me, Ali.
Me neither.
You big girls' blouses.
Rebecca! Rebecca, come here this minute.
And you you go back to the pro shop now.
Yes, sir.
What? I pay for you to have lessons with the pro and not with the steward's son.
Clyde didn't turn up, so - I don't care.
You are not to associate with that boy.
Do you understand? Associate (?) What do you mean, associate? You know very well what I mean.
Martin, you have got to do something about Clyde Patchett.
Come in, Will.
I turn up today and find my daughter being taught by thatghastly Fountain boy.
Actually, Darren isn't a bad little player.
He's not even the assistant pro.
He's the damned steward's son.
And where is Patchett, anyway? He'll be in later.
He's got a touch of flu, I think.
The kind you catch from a bottle? Now, listen, Martin, you are the captain of this club.
Either you do something about Patchett, or I will.
Ali, your ball's over here.
What's the matter, Kingslake? Don't you trust me? For crying out loud! Mum says you're late.
All right, but she'll have to wait till tomorrow.
Hey! What the hell's going on? Out in one, Kingslake.
You owe me 500.
That's impossible.
Are you accusing me of cheating? He played it out fair and square, Mr Kingslake.
Oh, yeah? And what's it got to do with you? What are you doing on the course at this time of day, anyway? Broken sprinkler on the eighth.
Well, in case you hadn't noticed, this is the 12th.
So shove off.
Course, you'll give me a chance to win my money back.
Of course.
A grand on Crisp's Folly, then.
A grand, it is.
Are you all right, old chap? Yeah Never better.
Only a grand, Drinkwater.
No pressure.
Let the man, play, Ali.
Oh, nice one, Jer.
Don't count your chickens, Drinkwater.
Anything can happen on Crisp's Folly.
Ho ho ho! Yes! Route one! Gentlemen, I am on a roll! Well, where the hell's my ball? Like you said, Kingslake, anything can happen on Crisp's Folly.
Must have had a bad bounce, Ali.
No point looking for it, Ali.
Might as well go back to the tee.
I hit it straight down the middle! Right.
You want some? Right? Do you? Because I'm ready if you are.
Kingslake? How the hell did that get there? I hope you're not going to say your ball was on the fairway all the time.
For God's sake, Kingslake, what are you doing? (BREATHES SHALLOWLY) Ali? (BUSHES RUSTLE) You idiot.
Are you trying to kill me? Sorry.
I've got a bone to pick with you.
Oh, really? About him.
Giving my daughter lessons instead of you.
Well, the thing is, I must have picked up a spot of food poisoning.
Now what? Something terrible's happened! (PANTS) Some Someone S-Someone's Someone's what, Ed? Someone has killed Ali Kingslake.
Multiple heads wounds, Tom.
Vicious stuff.
Done with that club? Probably.
Won't know for sure until we've got him on the slab.
Beaten to death with a one iron.
What a way to go.
This hole was famous, you know.
I played it once.
I got a quadruple bogey.
It's known as Crisp's Folly.
Crisp's what? Folly.
A chap called Crisp lost his house on a bet playing this hole.
It's got a 90-degree dogleg, you see.
You take a driver from the tee, you end up in the jungle.
With an iron, you may not get a shot at the green.
Well, that's absolutely fascinating, George, but I don't speak golf.
Where's Jones got to? That's where the momentum That's where the momentum comes in.
Time for golf, have we? Ahsir.
This is Martin Crisp, club captain.
And Will Tunstall, president.
Dreadful business, Chief Inspector.
Rest assured that we at Whiteoaks will do everything we can to assist with the investigation.
I think you should know that we've had problems on this hole before.
Problems? Vandalism.
Loutish behaviour.
You see, there's a public footpath goes across the fairway.
It's a damned nuisance.
What is that? Periscope, sir.
So people using the footpath can check if anyone's on the 13th tee.
Health and safety is always a priority at Whiteoaks.
Mr Crisp, is that the Crisp of Crisp's Folly? Yes, it was my grandfather, the black sheep of the family.
As you probably know, John Cotton is a member here, so lines of communication will be first rate.
John Cotton? Your Chief Superintendent, Inspector.
Yes Well, thank you, gentlemen, That'll be all for now.
We'll talk to you again, of course.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Since when has Johnny Cotton been Chief Superintendent, eh? Last week.
You should read your emails.
I can't.
The computer's broke.
What's this? Kingslake's ball, sir.
Is it? If Kingslake's ball was here, what was he doing in there? Hacking it out probably.
Mind you, he'd need a miracle shot to get to here from in there.
So Kingslake disappears into the undergrowth, and one of his mates goes looking for him, yeah? A man called Drinkwater found the body.
He says he saw someone fleeing the scene.
Any description? No.
Just a flash of someone in a blue hoodie.
Oh, a hoodie? Ho ho ho.
That's perfect, isn't it? Local thug attempts robbery.
Respectable citizen resists.
Thug beats respectable citizen to death with his own clubs.
How convenient is that? Maybe that's what happened, sir.
Yeah, well, I'm not holding my breath.
Let's go talk to some of these golfers.
Well, we were playing the 13th, Crisp's Folly, and Ali creamed it off the tee.
Absolutely mullered it.
But when we got on the fairway, lo and behold, no sign of Ali's ball.
So Mr Kingslake's ball must have gone into theinto the Rough.
.
.
rough.
Well, on Crisp's Folly, you've got jungle either side of you.
There's not much point in looking for it.
Might as well reload.
Reload? Go back to the tee and play a new ball.
But Ali charged off into the trees.
To look for his ball? Wellyes.
Suppose so.
And you went to help him Yes, I ErI meanno.
Which exactly? Well, no because his ball was there on the fairway.
But you just said there was no sign of it.
At first, yes.
But then he Then he obviously found it and played out.
So Mr Kingslake's ball reappeared but he didn't.
Yes, that's right, so.
.
Ahem.
I So you went in to see if he was all right, didn't you? Yes.
That's right.
I was a little concerned.
There had been incidents in the past.
Were these incidents reported to the police? I'm really not sure.
No idea.
So, Mr Drinkwater, you went in to see if Mr Kingslake was all right and? Yes.
There he was.
Just lying there.
I thought maybe he was ill or something.
Then I saw the blood and the And then I heard a noise in the wood and saw thisthis chap running away.
But you can't describe this chap, Mr Drinkwater.
Not really.
I didn't see his face or anything.
He was wearing one of those hooded things.
Bright blue.
Ghastly colour.
And until you played the 13th, it had been a game much like any other, had it? Nothing untoward, nothing unusual.
No.
Nothing at all.
All perfectly normal.
I Mr Tully? Nothing.
Ali did have words with some village members near the 12th tee.
Hm.
Village members.
Residents are allowed to play mornings on Wednesday mornings.
Thank you.
Words? What kind of words? It was nearly midday.
Ali thought it was time they were off the course.
Would you mind if we rang for a refill, Inspector? No, please.
(RINGS BELL) (KNOCK ON DOOR) Large ones, please, Mrs Fountain.
Right away, Mr Monkberry.
He was a lovely man, was Mr Kingslake.
A lovely man.
I'm sure he was, Mrs Fountain.
Eileen Fountain.
Mrs Fountain's the steward here.
I've been working here 30 years.
We've never had anything like this.
All right, Mrs Fountain.
That'll do.
We're gonna have to talk to these village members.
Mr Kemp and Mr Claypole.
You won't be able to talk to them here, Inspector.
No.
Village members are not allowed in the club house, sir.
You'll find them in the cooler.
The cooler? The shed behind the car park, sir, for the use of village members.
There's something that lot aren't telling us.
I agree, sir.
Get Forensics to check their golf clubs, all of 'em.
Yes, sir.
Look, Jones.
There seems to be an assault taking place.
They're brothers, believe it or not.
Are they? Mrs Fountain's boys, the steward we met.
One's the green keeper, the other works in the pro shop.
Want to interview them now? No.
I'll save that pleasure for later.
Where's this cooler? It's round there.
Alistair Kingslake did a lot for this club.
He'll be sorely missed.
Not by me he won't.
Steady on, Archie.
Inspector Barnaby wants the truth, not the spin.
Indeed, I do.
Well, the truth is, he was the rudest man I ever met.
When you met him on the course, gentlemen, what happened? We was on the 16th green, next to the 12th tee, It was coming up to midday.
Kingslake reckoned we should be off the course.
He's forever trying to chuck us off.
Was.
He's a stickler for the rules, that's all.
Quite right, too.
That's what golf's all about.
Sticking to the rules.
Where were you this afternoon? Giving Becky Tunstall a lesson.
What kind of lesson? Good question, that.
Careful, Kemp.
Or what? You'll set your big brother on me? Steady on, lads.
What will Inspector Barnaby think? What kind of lesson? Golf, of course.
So you're a professional.
(LAUGHS) He works the pro shop three days a week.
And I do some coaching.
Only when Clyde Patchett's under the weather, which is most days.
Did you play Crisp's Folly this morning? Yeah.
About half-ten.
There have been incidents, have there not, at Crisp's Folly in the past? Incidents? Yeah.
Confrontations with the local hooligans, that sort of thing.
Only incidents on Crisp's Folly are golfing incidents.
It's a beast of a hole.
Ever get the feeling you're not wanted? You're imagining things.
(TOOTS HORN) (TOOTS HORN) We need to talk.
Follow me.
And you didn't hear it from me, all right? So Alistair Kingslake bet Jerry Drinkwater that he couldn't get out of this bunker with one stroke? That's right, and And? And what, Mr Tully? Well, Jerry jumped into the bunker and the next thing we knew his ball was out of the sand and right on the green.
It was a pretty miraculous shot, to be quite honest.
Ali certainly thought so.
They There was brief discussion, shall we say? Did Mr Kingslake accuse him of cheating? Well, it came pretty close, I can tell you.
Then Colin Fountain popped up and said he saw Jerry play out fair and square.
So that was that.
The green keeper? Yes, he was lurking about.
Anyway, the whole thing seemed to upset Jerry no end.
Then he bet Ali ã1,000 on Crisp's Folly.
What? ã1,000? Look, a certain amount of gambling goes on at Whiteoaks.
Always has done.
No doubt Ali Kingslake can afford to lose a grand here and there, but I can't.
And Jerry Drinkwater - can he afford it? I really couldn't say.
So, Mr Tully .
.
we have Kingslake and Drinkwater playing Crisp's Folly for ã1,000.
Kingslake clouts his ball into the wood.
He goes in after it and suddenly out it pops.
So it would seem.
Another miraculous shot.
I suppose so, yes.
Mr Tully, do you think that Kingslake cheated? Play the ball as it lies, play the course as you find it, and if you can't do either - Do what is fair.
Exactly.
That's the spirit of golf.
And very much the spirit of Whiteoaks, I'd like to think.
Mr Tully? You haven't answered my question.
If you really want to know a man, Inspector, play golf with him.
Ali had a temper, it's true, and his social skills may have been lacking, particularly when dealing with people he regarded as his, how shall I put it - social inferiors - but he was a man of complete integrity.
So there.
Right, what have we got? An argument over a bet.
Yeah.
Drinkwater cheats his way out of a bunker on the 12th hole.
They double the bet.
Kingslake gets his own back by cheating on the 13th.
Drinkwater confronts him in the wood.
They fight and Drinkwater beats Kingslake to death.
Then he makes up this story about someone in a blue track suit.
Both of them cheated.
It seems unlikely.
What? Golf being the last bastion of fair play? Something like that, yeah.
Yeah, well Well, whatever.
Drinkwater's still got a lot of explaining to do.
Hey, look we need a map of the golf course.
I need to know where that footpath goes to in both directions, where the road is, and, Jones, could you get hold of the local news media? This has got to be worth an appeal, hasn't it? You know, someone somewhere must know something.
You know the form.
And those incidents on the 13th hole - see if they were ever reported.
Anything else? Well, if all that's a bit too much for you, Jones, you could always call on the widow yourself.
No, thanks.
Are you familiar with the expression 'golf widow', Inspector? Er, yes.
Well, no.
ErmI have heard it used.
He played golf every day, rain or shine.
Then there were the committee meetings.
And the bar afterwards, of course.
So I'm used to being alone, you see.
I've had lots of practice.
May I ask, your late husband and Jerry Drinkwater - were they ermvery good friends? Well, Ali enjoyed bullying him.
And Jerry put up with it.
Maybe that passes for friendship in male circles.
What about Miles Tully and Ed Monkberry? Actually, he's seen more of those two in the last couple of months.
The three of them would spend hours on the putting green, banging on about some crisis at the club.
Crisis? What crisis? How would I know? Golf chatter was banned in my presence.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Barnaby.
'Where are you, sir?' I'm outside Martin Crisp's house.
Chief Superintendent Cotton's been trying to reach you.
What? 'I gave him your mobile number.
' Oh, thank you, Jones.
'Did you get a map yet?' Ernot yet, sir.
Well, get on with it.
'Yes, sir.
' (MOBILE RINGS) Chief Superintendent (!) (TURNS OFF PHONE) That was our last summer at Pellings.
My grandfather had already lost all his money.
The house went in the next month or so.
Look at him.
Not a care in the world.
Your father doesn't look too happy, does he? No, well, he knew which way the wind was blowing.
My poor dear father.
Worked himself into an early grave, paying off the debts.
He saw it as his duty.
Duty.
Not a word you hear bandied about much now, is it? No, sir, you don't.
My duty, as I see it, is to reclaim Pellings for my children and their children.
Reclaim, eh? Buy it back, Inspector.
Of course it's worth a fortune now.
We're nearly there.
With a bit of luck, we'll be back in the family home by the end of next month.
Actually, Mr Crisp, it was gambling at the club I came here to talk to you about.
Well, it goes on.
I've always tried to impose some sort of rule, but there's always stiff opposition.
The view is that it's a private matter between members.
If it doesn't impinge on other members, then If Alistair Kingslake was killed because of a bet .
.
would that qualify as impinging? Are you saying Jerry Drinkwater killed Ali? Well, sir, I have to consider all the possibilities.
I've played golf a couple of timeswith Janet Painter.
It's years ago.
Do you remember? No, I don't.
It was quite a good laugh.
We even had a lesson with the pro.
He said I had a natural swing.
A natural what? Swing.
(LAUGHS) Wait a minute.
Did you say it's called Whiteoaks? I did.
Well, that's the club Derek and Janet joined.
It took them ages to get in.
They were as pleased as punch.
They had to eat a 12-course dinner as a kind of test.
You know, eat your soup with your pudding spoon, you're out.
So the Painters are members of the Whiteoaks club, are they? Well, they were.
It was all Janet talked about for a while.
Then Derek had some work problems, I think and they packed it in.
They play badminton now.
(GASPS) Badminton, Tom.
(CHOKES AND COUGHS) No, Joyce! Yes, I'd say he was hit six or seven times.
Blows are consistent with a golf club? Yes, but Yes, but what, George? All the blows pretty much landed in the same place.
Good grouping, in fact.
The killer had a good eye.
Yes, good hand-eye co-ordination.
(MOBILE RINGS) It made it damned difficult separating one wound from another.
But there's one that's slightly off target.
And the angle's different.
Sir, it's Chief Superintendent Cotton.
Oh, not now.
He's in a Maybe that was the first hit.
He was on his feet at the time and that would explain the angle.
Could be.
But there's something bothering me, Tom, and I need a bit more time.
There's something bothering me too, George.
If you'd hit a ball into that wood, would you have used a one iron to get out of it? Now you come to mention it, no.
No, you use a one iron off the tee or on the fairway.
If at all.
There's an old saying: 'If there's lightning about, hold up a one iron.
'Even God can't hit a one iron.
' What's this? I'm not sure, but it wasn't from a golf club.
When he fell maybe.
No, the bruising's too small, too symmetrical.
A punchduring the struggle.
No, it wasn't a fist.
But whatever it was, it was sustained before the attack.
Right, thank you, George.
Thanks very much.
Anything back from Forensics about those golf clubs? Not yet, sir, but I've got a map.
Have you? Excellent.
Stick a few pins in it.
That'll look good.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Hello? 'Mr Monkberry.
' It's Sergeant Jones.
It's about your statement.
'When would be a good time to meet?' Oh, erm.
No, I'm a bit erm Mr Monkberry, is everything OK? Oh, yes, yes.
Um Well, I'm not quite sure to be honest.
I've just had rather an odd phone call.
What sort of phone call.
Oh, look, it's probably nothing.
Where are you? I can meet you.
I'm in Lovewood's Lane, near the club.
Lovewood's Lane.
Lovewood's Lane.
(HANGS UP PHONE) What are you doing here? Did you get a phone call too? Got it.
Yeah, I'll meet you there.
Hello? (TOOTS HORN) (TYRES SCREECH) Idiot! How many times do I have to tell you, Darren? Solids to the left, liquids to the right.
Sorry, Mum.
Liquids on the right.
And we don't need to hear from you, thank you very much.
Clyde, dear.
How nice to see you.
I bet it is.
Have you got something for me? And when's Darren's next lesson with Becky Tunstall? Ah, well, we need to talk about that.
What do you mean? Tunstall's put his foot down.
He's put his foot down.
He doesn't want Darren teaching Becky any more.
But we had an agreement.
Well, what can I do? Tunstall wants me to teach her.
I am the club pro, you know.
Wellyou'll have to pay the full interest rate, then.
I'll be wanting another ã200 a month, starting now, Clyde.
You should get rid of that silly car, dearie.
Don't you "dearie" me.
I will not be patronised by a jumped-up barmaid.
Don't worry.
Old man Tunstall will change his tune when I'm a full member.
Darren, when will you learn to keep your mouth shut? This goes no further than these four walls, do you understand? Darren a member? Are you serious? Is that what the posh cutlery's in aid of? Practising for dinner with the president? Oh, this is great.
Oh, this is hilarious.
What's so funny about it, eh? Get off me, you twerp! Do something, Col! Bash him up! Good morning.
Is this a bad moment? No, perfect.
I was just leaving.
You should have told me.
Families, eh, Inspector? Families, indeed, Mrs Fountain.
Lovely craftsmanship in that.
It was my late husband's.
He was steward at Whiteoaks before me.
I use it to keep track of the housekeeping.
You took over that job from him, did you? Yes, my husband was cut down in his prime, but the club saw fit to keep me on.
It was a godsend with two small boys to bring up.
What was it you wanted again? I wanted a word with Colin, if I may.
Colin? What about? Oh, it's nothing very much.
Well, he just popped out, as you saw.
Ah, yes, well, he can't have gone very far, so I'll take a look.
He might be feeding the pig.
I'll take you.
No, don't you trouble yourself.
Don't worry.
I'll follow my nose.
Oh, he won't say anything.
Of course he won't.
My handsome boy.
Mr Fountain Colin.
I'd like to talk to you about the day Alistair Kingslake was killed.
(PIG SQUEALS) Mr Kingslake said that Jerry Drinkwater cheated on the 12th hole, didn't he? Come on, Colin.
You were there.
You told Mr Kingslake that Jerry Drinkwater had played out of the bunker fair and square.
But he didn't, did he? Did he, Colin? No.
No.
So why did you cover for him? Mr Kingslake was a rude man.
Oh, so you did it to annoy Mr Kingslake? Yeah.
He was extremely annoyed.
It was funny.
I didn't like Mr Kingslake but I didn't kill him.
No, I don't think you did, Colin.
He's not gonna get her.
I'm sorry, who's not going to get who? My brother Darren.
Becky Tunstall would never go out with him.
Would she? I'm sorry, Colin.
I can't help you there.
Hello? Mr Monkberry! Mr Monkberry? (BUSHES RUSTLE) Hey! Hey, you! Argh! Look out, man! Did you see him? Who? A man in blue.
A man in blue fleeing the scene of a crime.
DS Jones, isn't it? (BREATHLESS) Ohhello, sir.
What on earth is going on, Sergeant? Well, there's a dead body sir.
(PANTS) Multiple stab wounds to the abdomen, Tom.
And no cuts on his hands or his arms? No.
No defensive wounds.
The attack took him by surprise, then.
No time to defend himself.
Or maybe he wasn't surprised because he knew his assailant.
What was that he said to you? He said he'd had an odd phone call.
The killer, do you think? No sign of his mobile, I suppose.
No, no.
Just his wallet.
There's no cash or credit cards in it, though.
So this person in the blue tracksuit actually exists.
Yes, indeed.
Spooky place.
Time was I'd have given my eye teeth to be a member here.
I'll stick to Causton Municipal, thank you very much.
Me too.
Oh, the Chief Superintendent wants to talk to us at the clubhouse, sir.
Well, the Chief Superintendent will have to wait.
I want to look at the 13th again.
So the killer must have known that Kingslake and his cronies were on the course.
He waits for them to get to the 13th tee, and when they do, he watches them through that periscope.
So he knows who's hit which ball? Exactly.
Now, he wants to lure Kingslake into the woods.
But Kingslake hits a great shot off the tee.
So the killer snaffles the ball and then goes into the woods.
Why would Kingslake bother looking for it? The ball could have gone anywhere.
You'd play another one off the tee.
Yeah, that's been bothering me too.
Maybe, Jones, maybe he didn't have to look for a ball at all.
Do you remember that bruise on his forehead? The ball was thrown at him.
Now, from what we know of Mr Kingslake, there's only one way he'd react to something like that, isn't there? Right.
He grabs a club at random Hence the one iron.
.
.
and heads off to confront whoever chucked his ball.
He gets jumped, has his club taken off him - No, not necessarily, Jones.
Not necessarily.
George Bullard is worried about one of the blows to Kingslake's head.
I don't want to jump the gun, but I reckon in a day or two George will come to us and tell us that the blow was done by a different club.
You want some? Because I'm ready if you are.
The subsequent blows were delivered by Kingslake's club in order to disguise or obscure the first blow.
(SQUELCHING) Good hand-eye co-ordination, says George Bullard.
He's a golfer, Jones.
A golfer.
That cheered you up, has it, sir? Look, I know you think I've got a prejudice against the golfers.
And I have.
But I've put it to one side for the moment.
The truth, Jones, is all I'm interested in, I promise you.
Well, I'm sure that'll please the Chief Superintendent.
Will you stop worrying about the Chief Superintendent? He's waiting for us back at the club house.
Is he? Yep.
Oh.
Now, of course, we can't be sure until the pathologist has completed his final examination.
But it looks likely that Mr Kingslake was struck by two golf clubs, one of which might have belonged to, or been in the possession of, his assailant.
So this thug was wandering around with a golf club? I think Inspector Barnaby is suggesting the murderer is a member of this club.
Indeed I am, sir, because that is a possibility.
A member? Ridiculous.
Drinkwater saw the murderer running away.
Monkberry was stabbed and had his cash and credit card stolen.
Sergeant Jones saw the thug in the blue track suit with his own eyes.
Gentlemen, Inspector Barnaby will do everything in his power to make sure that the club and its members are treated with tact, and discretion, isn't that right? Tom? Yes, yes, tact and discretion.
I think, John, you might mention the possibility of opening the front line.
Yes, of course.
I don't see any reason why the front line hole shouldn't be open for play from Monday, do you, Barnaby? They're well away from the SOCs.
I'll be playing over at Chedgrave Park for the time being.
I think it's best if I keep my distance.
I quite understand, John, and thanks for all your help.
A word, Barnaby.
I would appreciate it, Barnaby, if you would take my calls now and then.
Yes, I'm sorry.
You know, it's been a bithectic.
Of course.
Of course.
Do you play golf, Tom? Perhaps you'd like to join me at Chedgrave Park? No, I do not play golf, John.
I always thought it a bit unsporting, you know, hitting a stationary ball.
The more's the pity.
I play, sir.
I want a daily progress report.
I am disappointed in you.
It was worth a try.
Do you play? Yeah.
(PHONE RINGS) Jones.
Something's come up, sir.
There isn't a trace of blood on Drinkwater's clubs or Tully's and Monkberry's.
But there was an assault on Crisp's Folly a couple of years ago.
A bloke called Derek Painter was attacked.
Derek Painter? Yeah.
Here's the interesting thing.
The police were called by Harry Claypole, one of the village members.
Who has no recollection of any incidents on the 13th hole.
He's here now, in the cooler.
TV: (CROWD CHEERS) (KNOCK ON DOOR) TV: 'Sam, now we've seen a demonstration of the lob wedge, 'could you now show us a chip and run?' Morning.
We'd like a word, Mr Claypole.
Alone, if you don't mind.
Watch out, Harry.
Looks like they've caught up with you at last.
How can I help you, Inspector? TV: (CROWD CHEERS) Have another go.
To the left of the hole.
To the left of the hole, Becky.
OK, one more time.
Hello, Colin! Yeah.
I came across Mr Painter on Crisp's Folly.
He was up by the periscope in some distress.
He'd been attacked.
So I got to the club house and phoned the police.
Did Mr Painter ask you to phone the police? No, that was the thing.
When I told him, he got quite shirty.
Said there was no point wasting their time when he hadn't got a look at whoever it was.
OK, so the police arrive.
Yeah, they didn't speak to me.
They were only here five minutes.
Had a word with Mr Tunstall and Mr Painter and left.
Mr Tunstall.
Yeah, he sorted it out.
He was quite annoyed about me phoning the police as well.
Very concerned about the club's image, is Mr Tunstall.
Anyway, next time I stayed well out of it.
Next time? Er Oh, nothing.
Mr Claypole.
Well, Jerry Drinkwater was playing Crisp's Folly last year.
He come out the rough with a bloody nose.
Said he walked into a tree.
A few months after, Clyde Patchett was found in a bunker, doubled up, crying like a baby.
Caught himself in a sensitive spot with his sand wedge, he said.
Bit odd, though, him being a professional, and so on.
Were either of the Fountain brothers around at the times of these events? You're never far from a Fountain at Whiteoaks.
The Fountains seem to be an institution round here, don't they? Oh, yeah, the wonderful Mrs Fountain.
The sun shines out of her, all right.
As long as there's no money involved.
Now, what can you mean by that? That woman's so tight, she squeaks when she walks.
I did some work for her.
Put a new concrete floor in that damned pigsty of hers.
That was three years ago.
She still owes me half the money.
You should have told us about the attack on Mr Painter before.
Yeah, I know, I know, but I didn't want to Didn't want to cause any trouble for the club, did you? Look, there's a captain's committee meeting day after next.
They're proposing new members.
The captain, Mr Crisp, he's put me up for full membership.
I'd be the first village member to become a full member.
Mr Crisp thinks it's about time things were a bit more democratic around here.
Good for him.
He's a good bloke - Mr Crisp.
There's no side to him.
He manages the White Lion Hotel in Causton, you know.
You'll even find him serving behind the bar when they're short.
So he understands people like me.
He's got a bit of respect.
Well, Mr Claypole, I hope you succeed.
They have to vote unanimously, of course, but I'm well liked around here.
I'm sure you are.
All I've got to get through then is the president's dinner.
Bit of an ordeal, is it? Oh, yes.
Curtains if you pick up the wrong fork.
Like teeing off with your putter, you're out.
I'd be grateful if you didn't discuss this membership thing with anyone.
It's not done to discuss things in public.
Don't you worry, Mr Claypole.
Your secret is safe with us.
Thank you.
We need to talk to this Derek Painter bloke.
I'll get his details off the secretary.
No need.
I know how to get hold of him.
Derek Painter was a friend.
He used to be a member here.
But he packed it in rather suddenly.
Now, Jerry Drinkwater.
Never keep a car longer than three years.
Depreciation's terrible.
Have you got a minute, please? Er Er Later would be better for me or tomorrow.
No, now, please, Mr Drinkwater.
(TOOTS HORN) (DOOR CLOSES) Are you just moving in, Mr Drinkwater, or moving out? Oh.
Moving out.
(PHONE RINGS) Place is getting too small.
Growing family and so on.
(MACHINE BEEPS) MRS DRINKWATER ON MACHINE: 'It's me.
I've had enough.
We're in Dorset.
'Don't follow us.
I mean it, Jerry.
'Don't you dare try to speak to the children until my solicitor -' (TURNS OFF MACHINE) My wife's a bit depressed at the moment.
It's the move.
Mm.
We want to talk about the day Alistair Kingslake was killed.
For God's sake, I've told you everything.
But you haven't, sir.
You didn't tell us about the bet you had on with Alistair Kingslake.
Bet? What bet? Mr Drinkwater, if I suspect from this moment on that you are telling me something that is less than the complete truth, Jones here will handcuff you, take you to Causton Police station and charge you with conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.
Are we clear? Now, look - Are we clear about that? OK, all right.
It was a few quid, that's all.
If you say so.
And he accused you of cheating, didn't he? As good as.
The nerve of the man.
But you did cheat, Mr Drinkwater, didn't you? Now, just you hold your horses.
Just you hold on.
OK, all right.
I told him I'd got out of the bunker in one.
I'm ashamed to say it was a lie.
I've never done anything like that before in my life.
Never.
But I was sick to death of Kingslake's bullying, sick of him bullying me with his damned money.
So you doubled the bet on Crisp's Folly.
Yes.
A grand.
What an idiot.
There was no way I could pay him if I lost, but if I won, well .
.
the pleasure of taking a thousand smackers off Kingslake That man hated losing, believe me.
So what happened? His tee shot was in the trees.
Gone.
The next thing I knew, there's his ball in the middle of the fairway.
So you thought he'd cheated.
Yes, it was impossible.
I went after him to tell him what I thought of him.
There he waslying there.
Body all twisted.
I didn't kill him, I swear and I didn't kill Ed Monkberry.
I know you didn't kill Ed Monkberry because you were visiting Eileen Fountain, Mr Drinkwater, at the time, weren't you? Was I? Yes, you were.
Until you saw me.
What were you doing there? Oh, catering committee stuff.
Deadly dull.
(CLICKS HANDCUFFS) I I had an arrangement with Mrs Fountain, a private arrangement.
(SNAPS HANDCUFFS SHUT) She was good enough to lend me a small sum of money to tide me over.
I was paying her back.
You were borrowing money from Eileen Fountain? Well, I've known Mrs Fountain for years.
She's been very kind.
It was just to tide me over so I could keep on playing golf.
I've lost everything else, you see.
Now that's gone as well, I suppose.
Want to buy some clubs? We decided it was time we got more active, didn't we, Tom? Yes, we did, absolutely.
We were thinking maybe badminton.
So we came along for a look.
Badminton or golf.
Golf? Joyce has a natural swing.
Aren't you investigating those terrible murders at Whiteoaks? Yes, I am, for my sins.
Funnily enough, we were thinking of joining Whiteoaks at one point.
Oh, wait a minute.
Aren't you two members? Ermnot any more.
Don't talk to me about that place.
Oh, what happened? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
No, of course you don't.
No, I want to.
Tom might as well know.
I had a problem with gambling.
That's the long and the short of it.
The one thing that kept me out of trouble was golf.
Until I joined Whiteoaks.
Does gambling go on up there? Oh, it certainly does.
I was down a couple of grand with nothing but change in my pocket.
So I was pointed in the direction of someone who could help.
Was that someone, by any chance, Eileen Fountain? That's right.
The steward.
Turns out she's the club's unofficial banker.
Who pointed you in her direction? Will Tunstall.
He was the one I owed money to.
I should have listened to Martin Crisp.
You've probably heard his story.
Losing that lovely house.
Yes, after the membership committee voted us in, Martin Crisp took me to one side and warned me about the gambling element.
So you borrowed money from Eileen Fountain to pay off your gambling debts to Will Tunstall.
Keeping it in the family, he called it.
And I fell a couple of weeks behind with the payments.
One day I find myself in the trees on Crisp's Folly and Colin, Eileen Fountain's great lump of a son, looms out of nowhere and roughs me up.
What? Derek, you should have come to me.
Anyway, we put our heads together and managed to pay it all off.
So, no more Whiteoaks for us.
Stick to badminton.
That's my advice.
What's it for? Shut up, we're counting.
We're helping a friend, a very good friend who will help us in return.
But that's all we've got, that's everything.
Spread it thin, dad always said.
Shouldn't you be feeding a pig or something? She doesn't really like you.
She's just pretending.
She's just winding you up.
Ugh! Stop it, both of you, this minute! I decide what's best for this family.
Darren, get on with your work.
And, you get out and don't come back until you've calmed down.
You aren't going to get her.
Ah, the map.
Very nice.
Monkberry's body was found here, sir, just off the footpath, about 100 yards away from where Kingslake was found.
And the assaults on Drinkwater and Painter? Here, sir, where Kingslake was found.
And Clyde Patchett's alleged groin injury occurred in this bunker here.
Ah, Crisp's Folly again.
Right, so, Painter and Drinkwater assaulted here.
Yes, thank you, Jones.
Been there, done that.
What did Miles Tully have to say for himself? He said the meetings at Kingslake's house were about the membership committee.
They were worried about candidates that Martin Crisp is putting up like that Claypole bloke.
(POSH VOICE) Not our sort of chap, don't you know? Transpires, Jones, that Eileen Fountain runs a very, very lucrative money-lending operation.
Well, well.
That nice Mrs Fountain.
That nice Mrs Fountain.
Painter borrowed a couple of grand from her at extortionate rates to cover his losses and so did Jerry Drinkwater.
And heaven knows how may others.
Offering loans without a licence.
Consumer Credit Act, 1974.
And Colin found him.
He strong-arms those people who fall behind with their payments.
Well, that's extortion.
Let's pull 'em in.
No.
Let them be for the minute, while we work out the connection with those two murders.
Is there a connection? I mean, Kingslake had money.
He didn't need any loans and Monkberry wasn't a gambler.
So we could still be looking for a local bad boy.
There's got to be a connection, Jones.
Will Tunstall, it was, who delivered Derek painter into the delicate clutches of Eileen Fountain.
So let's go ask him why the president of Whiteoaks Golf Club touts for a loan shark? Yeah.
Have you got the money? I'll have the money by the end of the day.
I've heard all that before.
I had the money six months ago and you put the price up.
Because you took so long about it and the market went up.
Do you expect me to sell you an asset at less than the market price? Dad, that policeman's here.
Well, actually, this isn't terribly convenient.
It'll only take a minute.
I'm off to the club for a lesson, dad.
Who with? Don't get stressed.
It's with Clyde, OK? Well, I'd better be getting along.
No, no, Mr Crisp.
Stay where you are.
I'd like you to hear this too.
Have you caught the murderer, Inspector? No, this concerns Eileen Fountain.
It is alleged that she's been lending money to members of Whiteoaks.
Well, if Eileen wants to lend people a few quid here and there, surely that's her business.
Colin's been using force to extract repayments.
Now, did either of you know about this? Certainly not.
Mr Tunstall? No, of course not.
Mr Crisp, thank you.
I'd like to talk to Mr Tunstall alone now, please.
Yes, well, I have a committee meeting to prepare for.
Gambling, Will that's what's brought us to this sorry state.
You and me, both.
Spare me the sermonising, Martin.
And, Martin? What? So, you don't know anything about Mrs Fountain's money lending? Am I missing something here? Never mind Mrs Fountain.
Two men have been murdered.
Two damned good friends of mine.
We have a witness who said you did.
He claims you recommended her.
That makes you an accomplice, Mr Tunstall.
That's outrageous.
You wait till my friend John Cotton hears about this.
I'll be reporting it to the Chief Superintendent later on today, sir, so it won't be a very long wait.
Somewhere along the line, someone got their wires crossed.
Perhaps.
Perhaps I didn't fully take on - Mr Tunstall, thank you very much.
That will be all for the time being.
Get hold of George Bullard.
I want to talk to him right away.
Sir? Oi! Ha ha ha! Sometimes I love this job.
Tom, I've had a bit of a breakthrough.
You know I was worried about those blows to Kingslake's head? Two different clubs.
Yes That's right.
Do you know what sort yet? There's something about the injuries I'm still trying to work out.
If I may humbly suggest, George, take a look at Monkberry here.
Six stab wounds to the right side of the abdomen.
George Six stab wounds to the right side.
(LAUGHS) Of course.
Oh, damn! Damn! I don't get it.
The murderer was left-handed.
The first blow to Kingslake's head was with a left-handed golf club.
Which means the shape of the indentation was reversed.
That's what confused me.
So we're looking for a left-handed golfer.
Yeah.
There can't be that many at Whiteoaks.
Well, there is one that springs to mind.
Oh, and Martin? Martin Crisp.
He's a leftie.
Crisp? Remember that impromptu lesson you had on the 13th fairway? See, we've been looking at the gambling and we should have been looking at a house.
The house Crisp's grandfather lost in a bet? Yeah.
Pellings.
How much is it worth? Two million? Three million? More? How does a hotel manager manage to raise that kind of money? I don't know, but how does killing Monkberry and Kingslake help? They were part of the membership committee along with Tully.
Do you remember the meetings that the three of them had? They didn't like the fact that Crisp was considering Claypole for membership.
So? I think Martin Crisp had someone much more controversial lined up.
Someone the three of them wouldn't vote for in a million years.
So he gets rid of two of them.
That leaves Miles Tully.
And the committee meeting's today.
We'd better find him.
Thank you, George.
My pleasure.
Is ereverything in order Mrs Fountain? Oh, yes, Mr Crisp.
Everything is very much in order.
Just the man.
Martin, you wanted to see me.
Yes, I thought we might play a couple of holes together.
There's something I'd like your advice on.
Well, of course.
I'd be delighted.
Thank you, Mrs Tully.
We'd better get a move on.
He's gone to the club to have a drink with Crisp.
So Crisp borrows money wherever he can.
He scrimps, he saves.
Finally, he gets enough money together to buy Pellings.
But then Tunstall raises the priceagain.
So there he is, still wanting more cash.
And who does he turn to? Eileen Fountain.
Eileen Fountain.
But she wants something in return, doesn't she? Membership for her beloved Darren.
Becky, wait a minute.
What is it? I want to talk to you.
It's important.
I'm late for my lesson with Clyde.
Dad will kill me if I miss it.
It won't take long.
I want to take you out tonight.
I'll have something to celebrate.
I can't, Darren.
Tomorrow night, then.
Sorry, darling, but no.
You're a sweet boy, Darren.
You really are.
And we have fun.
I'm not going out with you, OK? I'm gonna be a member, Becky.
What are you talking about? A full member, here at the club.
The committee's going to vote me in today.
Even if that's true, which I doubt very, very much, sweetheart, it doesn't make any difference.
Why not? You and me, darling, we're never gonna be an item, are we, what, with my dad and everything? But we can still see each other, here at the club, can't we? Now and then.
(MOBILE RINGS) What is it, Colin? 'Mum wants to see you in the cooler now.
' (SIGHS) Miles, I wanted a word about the committee meeting this evening.
What about it? Well I wanted to talk about the candidates for membership.
You know we're not supposed to discuss that, secret ballot and so on.
Yes, I know, but this is somewhat of an emergency.
I need your help.
If this is about Harry Claypole, then I'm sorry, Martin, I can't support him for membership.
This isn't about Claypole.
You can black-ball Claypole by all means.
I'm talking about Darren Fountain.
Darren?! Darren Fountain? Are you serious? Completely.
Everyone on the committee will approve him.
I hope you will as well.
No way, Martin.
Absolutely no way.
(BALL HITS TREES) Oh, dear.
I seem to have pulled it into the rough.
Ah, Darren, let me buy you a drink.
Big day today.
Where's Mum? Well, she isn't here, Sonny Jim.
Come on, what'll it be? This may be your last chance.
No, thanks, Harry.
I've got a lot on my mind.
You may not see me in here again after today.
Colin? Colin, open this door.
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW) I'll tell Mum.
Colin! Oh, hello, Becky.
Oh, Clyde.
We're supposed to be having a lesson.
Sorry.
A touch of food poisoning.
Hello, Becky.
I mean, crying out loud, Martin.
Think about it, Darren Fountain in the bar as a member? Ordering drinks from his mother? I'm sorry you see it that way.
I think mine went in over there.
Help me have a look, would you? I'm not a snob! Absolutely not a snob! But a place like Whiteoaks, it's a delicate balance, isn't it? I mean, we have to preserve that balance, don't we? Otherwise, what's the point of it being a club in the first place? We've been friends a long time, Miles.
This is very important to me.
So I'm asking you as a favour.
No can do, Martin, for Ed and Ali's sake.
Anyway, what's so important about Darren Fountain becoming a member? We'll never find it, Martin.
Might as well reload.
Isn't that it there? Ahh! Ohh! Oh, please, don't hit me.
I just want my house back.
Let it go! Let it go! Ahh! (WHIMPERS) Still think golf's a boring game, sir? (POLICE RADIO IN DISTANCE) Sir? Let's have a look.
That's blood, isn't it? Yep.
Look at this.
(MOBILE RINGS) Jones.
Uh-huh.
Right, OK.
A commotion up at the club house.
Something about the Fountains.
It's high time we rounded up the Fountains.
Come on, let's go! Come on! Darren.
Darren, where's Colin? How would he know? You don't have to say anything, Darren.
I saw Colin leave about ten minutes ago with Becky Tunstall in the car.
Becky? Mum, he's gone to get the money.
Darren, shut up this minute.
Mrs Fountain, would be that the money you were planning to give to Martin Crisp? I don't know what you're talking about.
Where is Mr Crisp? I hope these shenanigans won't unduly affect the committee meeting.
Mr Claypole, what was that job you did for Mrs Fountain? New floor and drainage in the pigsty.
And you still owe me 600 quid, Eileen.
It was a bodge.
You're no better than a cowboy, Harry Claypole.
Mrs Fountain, why would a woman as careful as you lavish money on a pigsty, I wonder? I don't know what you're driving at.
You said Daddy was here.
I've got something for you, Becky.
Colin, you're hurting me.
(PIG SNORTS) Is it vicious? No.
As long as you don't move.
Colin, you're starting to freak me out.
Why do you like Darren more than me? Who said I did? You do, though, don't you? You never talk to anyone.
Why should people like you if you don't talk to them? You're a bit scary, Colin.
You're scaring me now.
I'm going.
Wait.
Look God.
It's for you.
Me? So you'll like me.
No, Colin, that's not the way it works.
Now let me go.
Wait! All right, all right.
You're all right now (SHOUTING) (PIG GRUNTS) So all the details were written in Eileen Fountain's ledger.
Yes, her book-keeping was impeccable.
And apart from Tully, Kingslake and Monkberry, everyone, every single man on that membership committee, was in hock to Eileen Fountain.
They would have voted for the pig if asked.
What about the builder chap? Claypole? Martin Crisp introduced him to test the water, to see what the reaction would be.
Of course, Kingslake and co were outraged.
So he knew that Darren Fountain wouldn't stand a chance.
So Crisp had to eliminate the opposition.
Yeah.
Crisp's office had French windows, opened on to the golf course.
He kept a little buggy, a little golf buggy, there all the time.
People were used to him buzzing around in it.
So he hid the buggy, got into his track suit, and waited by the periscope.
Now, he was due to play a round of golf with Ed Monkberry.
But Monkberry cancelled, so he had to improvise with the knife.
Do go and get changed, Tom.
They'll be here in a minute.
There's plenty of time.
Oh, God.
What? I forgot my bat.
You mean, your racquet.
Don't worry.
Here it is.
Oh, thank you, Joyce.
What would I do without you? Not a lot.
Oh! Here they are.
You two are cruising for a bruising today.
We're gonna run you ragged.
You'd better get changed, Tom.
We're on in five minutes.
Absolutely.
Ooh.
Are you all right? Yeah, fine.
No.
Oh, I think I've tweaked my hamstring.
Run it off, that's the thing.
Yes, get on court and run it off.
Right.
You three, you can start without me.
Please.