Bones s12e03 Episode Script
The Final Chapter: The New Tricks in the Old Dogs
1 Evan! Come on.
You're totally breaking character! So what? You'd prefer I die from an obstructed airflow? Just keep it cool, all right? Kyle, we're here to conduct experiments.
Cool is not exactly our milieu.
Whatevs.
Let's just get started, all right? Evan, open one of the barrels.
Be careful.
KYLE: This place is just like they said it would be on the news.
Check it out.
The lid is ajar.
Dudes this is totally boss! Baking soda and acid.
Instant volcano! (both laughing) (laughing) What? What are you two nerds laughing at? Because, Zero Charisma, this isn't hydrochloric acid.
It's sulfuric acid.
Then what's the white stuff? C12 H22 O11.
Every kid's favorite.
Sugar? What do you get combining sugar and sulfuric acid? CLAIRE: Just wait and see.
Only the biggest, baddest black snake firework you ever saw.
Ah, that was anticlimactic.
(screams) (laughs) Awesome.
BRENNAN: Booth, please, I am not trying to argue with you.
Okay, but then just say it.
Okay, why don't you just say it? Seventh graders playing with a barrel of acid is not really the best idea.
I will not say it, especially as they took the proper safety precautions.
I applaud their curious minds.
AUBREY: Plus, their intervention did save the body from being completely dissolved.
See? BOOTH: Zip it.
Okay, Aubrey, whose side are you on anyways? Hers.
Sorry, but in this instance, I am hos before bros.
What? That did not come out right.
No.
Of course, the real criminals are Goodlife Chemicals.
I mean, they are the ones who illegally disposed of their toxic waste.
Yeah, it's like Love Canal all over again.
BOOTH: Stop with the Love Canal.
What is with the breath coming through the back right now? It smells like death warmed over-- almost like a toxic blast of camel butt.
Wow.
This is a black kale chia smoothie.
Why? Why are you drinking that? Did you lose a bet or something? - Do you have an infected lesion? - What? Why would you even ask that? Well, black kale is high in vitamin K and antioxidants, both of which promote healing.
AUBREY: Okay.
No.
No lesions, okay? Jessica just thought maybe it'd be a good idea if I, uh, went on a junk food cleanse.
No big deal.
Go back to the doughnuts, because that smells like monkey ass.
(exhales sharply) (indistinct police radio chatter) (camera clicks) MAN: Yeah, I see some over here.
(grunting) Easy.
BOOTH: Wow, you were not kidding.
This is like one of those black snake fireworks.
I told you! All right.
Science is cool! Really? Wow.
You've got to work on your delivery.
Uh Excuse me, are you FBI? Because I must insist that you remove all these people in Hazmat suits immediately.
Really, why? They're just doing their job.
Their very presence is prejudicial to my client.
Oh, what a shocker.
We have a lawyer here.
Who represents Goodlife Chemicals.
All these precautions-- the Hazmat suits, the decontamination foam, it misrepresents that these chemicals are hazardous.
Nonsense.
Sulfuric acid is not only hazardous, it is highly corrosive.
It would eat through your flesh in seconds.
That is your opinion.
SAROYAN: Uh, no, it's fact.
And the reason why I have almost nothing to work with, except for this gray hair.
So you're saying our victim was an old guy.
Well, judging by the deterioration of the medial carpal joints, I'd say at least 70.
BOOTH: Killing Grandpa, huh? That's not good press for your company.
You want to put that camera away? AUBREY: You know what I'm thinking? Maybe our victim here was one of the plaintiffs suing Goodlife Chemical.
Uh-huh.
Hey, Bones, can you just tell me when the body was dumped in the acid there.
I can't say with any accuracy, but Hodgins would have a better idea.
Oh, unfortunately, he wasn't able to make it.
He had some kind of wheelchair accident.
So, do you have direct access to this site? I must warn you, if you even insinuate my involvement in this man's death, I will sue you for slander.
Right.
That's exciting.
Go ahead and try.
Oh, no, it's the press.
Could you people please hurry along? Yeah.
Oh, and did you get a sample of the sulfuric acid for Dr.
Hodgins to test? Yes, I did.
I said hurry! Let's go! Oh! Oh, the acid is all over me! Oh, my God.
Oh, my Calm down.
Calm Calm down, calm down.
Oh! You want me to calm down?! Calm down?! Are you insane?! Whoa.
Don't you know anything?! This stuff is pure toxic hell! Uh, do you want to be decontaminated? Do it! Wh-What are you waiting for?! BRENNAN: Wait.
But, Booth, he's not Not going to survive if we don't help.
Isn't that right, guys? Hurry! (groans) Thank you so much.
Just doing our job, sir.
Happy to help.
Oh, God.
Ah (yelling) Bones 12x03 The Final Chapter: The New Tricks in the Old Dogs Origi Main Title Theme The Crystal Method Hey.
Hey.
There you are.
We missed you at the crime scene.
- You okay? - Oh, yeah.
Never better.
- Is that the victim's skull? - Yeah.
Angela just finished scanning it so she could do a facial reconstruction.
What's all that schmutz that's on it? It's carbon residue.
Residue from what? Long story short, the victim was put in sulfuric acid, then kids decided to do an experiment, adding sugar.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Creating an exothermic reaction? How long was the carbon snake? About 12 feet.
Lucky son of a bitch.
Excuse me? Ha, oh, sorry.
It's just, whenever I've thought of my own death, that is exactly how I've always wanted to go.
Man, this day just keeps getting better and better.
Oh, hey, honey.
I'm almost done.
I just feel badly.
It's not a very flattering portrait, I'm afraid.
Yes, I agree.
The way you've drawn him, he reminds me of Eddie, the Iron Maiden mascot.
Excuse me? Iron Maiden? Not the torture instrument of historic myth, but the English heavy metal band.
You know who Iron Maiden is? You, who thinks Maroon 5 is a color palette? Yes.
I have long been fascinated with black and heavy metal cultures, ever since we had the case involving the band Skalle.
"Skalle," incidentally, means "skull" in Norwegian.
Yes, I-I remember that.
(chuckles) Mm.
Something's wrong.
Angela, can you bring up your photographs of the victim? Uh, yeah, just a second.
The skull was still pretty covered in carbon, but I don't think I missed anything.
And then go closer on the mandible.
Oh, right, I see what I missed: the weathering to the mandible.
It suggests bite collapse.
The disintegration of the jaw-- it is common among long-time denture wearers.
Okay, well, let's add some dentures.
And his hair.
Okay, I'll run a search through missing persons and DMV.
I was glad to hear that Hodgins is doing better after his wheelchair incident.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
That was, that was nothing.
Just one of the wheels popped right off the axle.
Just one of those things.
One of those things being you having sex in his wheelchair? What? How did you Who are you? Just a forensic scientist at the height of her deductive powers.
I have to tell you, it was really awesome.
Like, better than it's been in forever.
Glad to hear.
And we also started talking about maybe having another kid.
Are you guys gonna have any more? We haven't had those discussions.
Perhaps perhaps we should.
(computer beeping) Oh, okay, we got a match.
James Felbeck, age 86.
Hmm.
He had a long life.
What's a Silver Alert? It's like an AMBER Alert for missing seniors.
It looks like this was issued this morning.
He was last seen at the retirement center where he lived.
BRENNAN: Given his age at time of death, it's surprising how little the FBI has on file concerning our victim.
Which means he's probably a pretty decent guy.
No felonies.
No misdemeanors.
Also, no family.
No children to visit him in his old age.
You okay, Bones? Uh, yes.
Angela and I were talking.
She and Hodgins are considering having another child, and she asked about us.
Wow.
What, you want another one? Why? Our family's perfect the way it is.
Oh, I completely agree.
Right.
Which is why I want you to get a vasectomy.
What? Vasectomy.
It's a surgical procedure where the vas deferens is severed and then tied.
No.
No, no, no, no.
No severing.
No way.
Booth, why are you covering yourself? I'm not going to perform the procedure myself, in a car.
All right.
Ah, no, no.
Not gonna happen.
Why not? - You scared? - No.
I am not scared, but, um (sighs) I'm a sniper, you hear me? And snipers-- they do not fire blanks.
And in that analogy, my ovaries are what? Target practice? Tar What? You know what? I-I don't want to talk about this.
Okay? We got a case.
Let's focus.
Okay, fine.
Good.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay.
Just want to be clear, all right? When we get there, just follow my lead.
My gut is telling me that our killer is someone on the staff.
Well, it's possible.
The killer could also be a fellow retiree.
(chuckles): Come on.
Seriously? You think that another senior killed and dumped our victim in acid? What? You're presuming that just because somebody is old, they are less capable? That's ageism, Booth.
Ageism? Now you're accusing me of being ageist? Yes.
However, If you'd like to talk about something else, we could always return to you being (whistles) No, no, no.
How about those Mets? What are the Mets? BOOTH: Have to admit, this is a lot nicer than I expected.
BRENNAN: I agree.
The facilities seem well maintained, the residents engaged and active.
BOOTH: Right.
(laughs): Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did you just, uh Pinch your cute little tuckus? Can you blame me? No, I cannot.
I like her.
BOOTH: All right, (laughs) don't encourage her.
Hello.
So sorry about that.
Agnes, hands to yourself.
You must be Agent Booth and Dr.
Brennan.
I'm Francis.
Very pleased to meet you.
Not pleased, because obviously death is horrible and especially when it happens in such a unexp We-we get it, Francis.
Okay? You seem a little nervous.
Are you okay? Given your occupation, I would imagine you'd be accustomed to literally being surrounded by death.
What? Death is inevitable.
Bones, you don't And in his case, relatively imminent.
Stop.
Sorry, she didn't mean that.
She just likes to blurt things out.
You're gonna have a very healthy and happy life in front of you.
No, Booth, he will not.
BOOTH: Stop.
Can we continue this somewhere else? An excellent idea.
I could show you to Mr.
Felbeck's room.
That would be best.
You don't just scream out like that.
Well, you don't tiptoe around death.
(muttering) It's part of life.
VAZIRI: Sulfuric acid dissolved away most of the small bones in the extremities.
Most of the bones I have are cooked due to the reaction of the acid and sugar mixing.
Hey, no complaining over there, pal.
At least you got something to work with.
I'm not finding any clothing whatsoever in our carbonaceous viper here.
This is really how you want to die? Yeah.
My Viking funeral, baby.
(chuckles softly) I have to admit, it's a pretty amazing experiment these kids did.
Right? Michael Vincent and I are totally recreating this when I get home, only much, much bigger.
Sounds like fun.
You and your Mini-Me playing mad scientist.
Speaking of kids, you got a wedding coming up pretty soon.
A wedding is not kids, Dr.
Hodgins.
You know what they say.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Work, Dr.
Hodgins.
Work comes next.
What have you gotten? Well, there's no flesh or clothing, but thanks to my esteemed colleague, John George Haigh, I was able to estimate how long our victim was in the acid.
VAZIRI: John George Haigh? You mean the Acid Bath Murderer? Yeah.
One and the same.
So, George found that it took 48 hours to fully dissolve a body to the point where you could actually pour it down the drain without clogging the pipes.
SAROYAN: Of course.
When killing someone, it's definitely plumbing that keeps you up at night.
HODGINS: So, based on the victim's height and weight, I was able to extrapolate that he was placed in the barrel somewhere between 18 and 24 hours prior to the sugar being added.
VAZIRI: Unfortunately, all I found are some blunt force trauma injuries on the left femur and left ribs, three through five.
As you can see, based on the cross-sectional outline, the shape of the weapon was long and cylindrical.
Maybe a pipe.
Dowel rod? Golf clubs.
Rebar.
Baseball bat.
Nunchucks SAROYAN: Guys.
Our victim was an old man in a nursing home.
You might want to think cane.
(inhales) Cane.
Ah.
Here we are.
This is Mr.
Felbeck's suite.
As you can see, we provide very spacious accommodations for all of our residents uh, excuse me, what exactly is that? An A.
L.
S.
I'm looking for blood evidence.
You didn't clean anything up, did you, Francis? I can assure you, the room is exactly how Mr.
Felbeck left it.
BRENNAN: Interesting.
The decor is quite distinct.
Most of these pieces are French Colonial.
Yes.
Um Mr.
Felbeck had a a fascinating life.
Yeah.
He told me he lived in Paris for nearly 20 years.
So, did Mr.
Felbeck ever complain about the staff members treating him poorly? No.
None at all.
Um He was very, very happy here.
The staff adored him.
How about any of the other residents? Did they ever complain about, uh staff members treating them poorly? Agent Booth, my residents are in the twilight of their lives.
So, they suffer from dementia, Alzheimer's.
When they get confused, there are times when unfounded accusations are made.
BRENNAN: Booth, I found something.
She found something.
FRANCIS: Oh, my Is this where he died? BOOTH: No, this is where he went to heaven.
My husband is euphemistically referring to sex.
By the sheer quantity BOOTH: You're gonna need a new cleaning service.
So who was Mr.
Felbeck seeing? By seeing, he means in-intercourse.
Yeah.
(clears throat) That's her, right over there, in blue.
Barbara Baker.
Poor thing.
She's been through so much.
What do you mean? She has no family.
(sighs) Oh, wow.
None at all.
I mean, well, technically, she has a daughter, but they haven't spoken in years.
Barbara doesn't even know where her daughter lives.
BOOTH: Look at her, Bones.
She looks like my Grandma Alice.
Gram Excuse me.
Listen, let me just do all the talking.
I don't want you to excite them, or say something that's gonna, like, freak 'em out.
That's fine.
I have no intention of causing this poor woman a myocardial infarction.
BOOTH: Hi, ladies.
(chuckles) Uh, Barbara Baker, can we speak to you for one moment? Oh, not now.
I'm 84 and I'm playing bridge.
Whatever you need cannot be more important than playing bridge.
It has to do with James Felbeck.
If anyone looks at my hand, I'll know.
Um no Tell me the truth.
Is James okay? Maybe you'd like to sit down.
Is he dead? Yes, ma'am.
Murdered? Yes.
Son of a bitch.
Rufus Tucker! You bastard son of a bitch! RUFUS: What are you talking about? Stop that! What are you? Hey! Put down that cane! Hey! Barbara! Calm down Oof! Ooh! Hey! I said stop it! Booth, I would say we have our next suspect, except I'm not sure who seems more guilty.
Mr.
Tucker or the cane-wielder herself? Stop it! BOOTH: That's gonna leave a bruise.
This is unacceptable.
You must arrest him.
He's a murderer.
(scoffs) Do I look like a murderer? Yes.
Let's just remain calm, all right? Look, all I have to do is ask a few questions, that's all.
You want to question us together? Do you have a problem with that? Well, Columbo always questions his suspects separately.
BOOTH: That's very true.
He would separate them by I'm that was the actor.
Look.
I'm not Columbo.
My husband doesn't believe you're true suspects.
Yeah.
(chuckles) Because you're so old.
BOOTH: Stop.
Thanks, Bones.
Really? I didn't Barbara, let me ask you a question, please, do why do you think, uh, Rufus here is involved? 'Cause he's jealous.
Ah, Ge Jealous of your relationship with Mr.
Felbeck? You two previously dated? I courted Barbara.
He asked if I wanted to pork.
I'm sorry? It's a line that's had limited success.
BARBARA: James, on the other hand, was a gentleman.
He was kind and a good man.
A surprise.
Someone that I could see myself spending the rest of my days with.
(groans) BOOTH: Mr.
Tucker.
Hmm? Where were you the night before last? Same as always, I was here, uh watching TV until about 2:00.
BRENNAN: Can anyone corroborate your alibi? The new guy.
Uh what's his name? It's a color, uh Blue? Yellow? Yeah.
No.
Uh, Blackie.
Uh, well, black is not a color.
It absorbs all colors on the spectrum BARBARA: Uh, Red.
He means Red Hudmore.
He moved in last week.
Thank you.
Go pork yourself.
(beeps) VAZIRI: Cam, I was just about to call you.
I think I found cause of death.
Excellent, but while it's just you and me, I was hoping that we might be able to talk.
Like talk talk.
You mean about what Dr.
Hodgins and I were discussing earlier.
Look, I want nothing more than to marry you, and I know how much you want to be a father.
Cam, can we talk about this later? Not really.
Biologically speaking, our options begin to shrink in the not so distant future.
I hear you, but when I look at you, all I see are limitless possibilities.
HODGINS: That is the most beautiful thing I've ever awkwardly interrupted.
Dr.
Hodgins, what is it you need? Well, Limitless Possibilities here sent me a text.
You've got some vertebraes you need me to swab? Yeah.
Here, let me show you what I found, camouflaged by the acid erosion.
Extensive microfracturing on the posterior arches of the C1 and C2 vertebrae.
So cause of death was likely a broken neck.
All right, well, I'll swab within the fractures for trace.
Hopefully it'll point to whoever did this, because at this stage, it's anyone's ball game.
SAROYAN: Actually, I disagree.
I've been looking at the victim's medical charts.
James Felbeck had osteoporosis.
So his bone matrix was compromised.
SAROYAN: Well, yes and no.
He was taking part in a drug study to repair lost bone mass.
And as of his last bone density test, which was six months ago, his T-score was +1.
HODGINS: +1? Doesn't sound too promising.
Actually, it means his bones were as strong as a 30-year-old's.
SAROYAN: And given the severity of the damage we're seeing, I don't think there's any chance one of the fellow residents could have done this to him.
(indistinct chatter) Excuse me.
Excuse me, are you Red Hudmore? I'm FBI, Special Agent Seeley Booth; this here is my partner Dr.
Temperance Brennan.
You're here because of the guy that was killed, right? Uh, did you know him? Uh, no.
No.
What about Rufus Tucker? He said he saw you in the TV room the night before last.
Yeah, I was there till, uh (sniffs) uh, 10:00.
He kept flipping the TV channels and talking about his all-time favorite television babes.
(chuckles) A gentleman would never talk that way about Donna Reed.
BOOTH: Wait a second You were with the 720 MP Battalion? RED: Don't tell me you heard of us.
I have not.
Bones, the 720 was the only battle-tested MP battalion in Vietnam.
My pops, my grandfather, he served with them back in the '50s.
Soldiers of the Gauntlet.
That's what they called us.
That's right.
Soldiers of the Gauntlet.
Right, well, Booth, now that we've verified the alibi, we should get going.
It was an honor to meet you, sir.
Okay.
Hey, Bones, hold-- one more thing.
You know, I may need another set of eyes and ears on the property while I'm gone, in case you see anything.
I don't know if you're up for one last case? Okay, Booth.
Yeah.
Hey.
I got the swab results back from the fractures of the victim's vertebrae and ribs.
So I was right? He was hit with a cane? Yup.
Aluminum alloy.
Very lightweight and extremely common.
Also, um, I've got a requisition form here for you.
Oh.
For what? Oh, you know, nothing much.
Ballistic gelatin, forensic-grade resin bones, a dozen or so aluminum alloy canes.
Also chinos, reading glasses, and a cardigan.
I don't want to know what you're building, do I? No.
No, you do not.
Okay do it.
Hey, what about you? Is that the victim's hair I'm looking at? No.
It's canine dander from five different breeds.
It was found at the crime scene.
Take a look.
Golden retriever, beagle, Pomeranian Yeah, they're all comfort dogs.
The kind used in therapy.
Also I found trace of the victim's blood.
Which means wherever they do this type of therapy is most likely the room in which he was killed.
This is the common area, where we do our dog therapy, among other activities.
Who had access to the room last night? All the staff and residents have full access 24/7.
This is Sam, one of our orderlies.
He'll clear the area so you won't be disturbed.
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask the two of you to leave.
This is officially a crime scene now.
Of course.
Yeah.
Sam, if you will.
(whispering): Sam is tall.
I don't know, Bones, looks pretty clean to me.
Nothing's disturbed, there's no broken glass anywhere.
You might want to check the couches over there.
My guess is that's where they did the dog therapy.
I don't need your assistance, Booth.
If you are bored and need to keep busy, I have a video on my phone showing exactly how a no-scalpel vasectomy is performed.
(cell phone ringing) No, no, that's fine.
Look at that-- Aubrey to the rescue.
Perfect.
Aubrey, what do you got? Tell me something good.
Well, I just ran background checks on all the employees at the retirement home.
Booth? Hold on.
Yeah? I think I found something.
BOOTH: Please tell me it's blood this time.
It is.
However, based on the smear pattern, it appears the killer used multiple cleaning agents.
Possibly as many as four.
Four cleaning agents? AUBREY: Wait, hold on.
Did you just say something about cleaning supplies? Because the guy that I found is one of the orderlies.
- Who? - Uh, big guy.
His name is Sam Wadkins.
He got charged with assault.
Sam, six-foot-six? Yep.
That's him, and by the looks of the photos from the guy that he hit, seems more like attempted murder to me.
Okay, great.
Thanks.
Listen, come on, we got to get the orderly.
What is it? We got to go find the orderly, come on.
Excuse me, Sam? Sam Wadkins? Yeah.
We need to ask you a few questions.
Booth? Yeah? There's blood on these supplies.
Mr.
Wadkins, will you take a seat, please? I prefer to stand.
Take a seat.
(clears throat) (stifled whistle) It'll be okay.
So, our lab found Mr.
Felbeck's blood on one of the solvents in your cart.
If you want any leniency, I'd suggest now would be a great time to confess.
No.
I didn't do nothing.
So, what, you're thinking that someone went behind your back and used your cleaning supplies? I don't know.
I don't want to get nobody in trouble.
Sam, why don't you tell me about this man that you assaulted? That was an accident.
He hit my car.
All I did was give him a push.
Yeah? When you're six-six, 300 pounds, accidents can get pretty messy, can't they? I didn't kill Mr.
Felbeck.
He and I were friends.
We used to watch movies together, boxing matches.
He used to tell me about his time as a welterweight.
He was one of the coolest old dudes I ever met.
Okay, then, so, as his friend, then tell me, if not you, who else could have killed him? I don't know.
So you didn't see or hear anything? All I know is, the last few weeks he spent a whole lot of time at night in the computer lab.
Okay.
Don't ask me what he was doing on the computer.
All he said was, better I didn't know.
VAZIRI: Hey, Hodgins, Cam asked that check on how you're progressing on some sort of experiment.
And now I understand why she didn't come herself.
Hey, Arastoo, come join us.
Allow me to introduce you to the newest member of our family.
Preston Alexander Hildenbrand III.
Or you can just call him Gramps.
Hodgins named him after his maternal grandfather.
Yeah.
Now, grab a cane and give him a good whack.
What? No, I'm not hitting Gramps.
Oh, you'd do it if you ever met him, trust me.
He was the most selfish, miserly billionaire son of a bitch this side of Montgomery Burns.
Honey, maybe you should do it yourself.
You know, give him a good whack.
Really? It's cheaper than therapy.
This is a long time coming, old man.
Okay.
(chuckles) This is very, very demented.
Yeah.
Ready Ooh ah! 321 psi.
That's a That's a good, strong blow.
Yeah, it felt really, really good.
The problem is the ribs are barely fractured.
Which means the killer is someone significantly stronger than Hodgins.
Or our victim's bones weren't as robust as they were six months ago.
I see you're, uh you're taking some of our computers out for evidence.
Well, apparently Mr.
Felbeck spent a lot of time online before he died.
I mean, could be nothing, but hey, it's worth checking, right? I saw you also took Sam in for questioning.
You think he's good for it? I don't know the guy from Adam, but my gut says, uh not a snowball's chance in July.
(chuckles) Tell you what, I got an idea.
What do you say we go for a walk? No, I I don't feel like it.
Come on.
Come on, it's good exercise.
We can go scope out some suspects.
Well, I Come on, let's go for a walk.
Oh, ah, heck.
Come on.
Let me give you a hand.
Let me give you a hand.
You get that.
All right, all right Aah! Red! Red, Red, you okay? Don't move.
Hey, we need some help in here.
Red, Red, don't move.
Quick, call an ambulance! What happened? We were just going for a walk, and he fell.
You were exerting him, weren't you? No, I didn't.
(groans) It's gonna be okay, Mr.
Hudmore.
I'm here.
It's gonna be okay.
We're gonna take care of you.
Dr.
Brennan, here's my analysis of the calcium phosphate leached from the bones due to acidification.
It's a substance called "bone shadows.
" According to your measurements, the victim only had 20% of optimal bone density.
Which means his bones were so brittle, anyone, young or old, could have killed him.
What's strange is that, six months ago, his bones were robust and healthy.
The question now is, what caused them to deteriorate so quickly? No, that answer is simple.
He wasn't taking his medication.
The real question is, why wasn't he taking it? Angela, is this one of the computers from the retirement home? Yeah.
And you won't believe what I'm finding.
I assume you're referring to pornographic material? Enough to make a teenage boy blush.
You'd think at a certain age enough would be enough.
Not for the male of the species.
They are biologically programmed to keep wanting sexual gratification.
Which is why I told Booth he needs to get a vasectomy.
Can you see if anyone was selling their medication online? Wait, what? Prescription medication.
Specifically for osteoporosis.
No.
The part about you neutering your husband.
It's a rational decision.
Neither one of us wants any more children.
Right, but Booth is Catholic.
So? We had premarital sex.
Clearly exceptions can be made.
Okay.
You let me know how that turns out.
Regarding the prescription medication, there is something of interest I did find.
MONTENEGRO: See this account? BRENNAN: Hattie Finnegan? I-I don't know who that is.
Oh, she's a resident who died a month ago.
Wait, this account is still active.
Yeah.
And someone has been using it to sell prescription medication online.
Was it the victim? I don't know.
But whoever they are, they've been running some pretty questionable searches.
I mean, anyone who looks up naked pictures of Donna Reed that's just wrong.
(cell phone beeping) What, did I say something? Booth, I know who you need to bring in for questioning.
Mr.
Tucker, we did some digging on the computers at the retirement home.
We know that you were selling James Felbeck's drug medication online.
Good.
That's excellent detective work.
I'm sorry, you're glad we found you out? Well, my taxes pay for your salary.
I'm glad to see that they're not being wasted.
Okay.
So you want to know what I think happened? Might as well.
I'm paying for it.
I think you stole his medication to sell online, replaced it with some kind of placebo.
Felbeck found out and he confronted you.
I see.
Uh, I take back what I said about the excellent detective work.
Okay.
Fine.
Why don't you tell me what happened? Well, James came to me, said he needed money, asked me to sell his medication.
Why you? Hmm? You two close? No.
Barely knew each other.
But he knew I was street.
You're street? Yeah.
I'm very, very street.
Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
I'm not buying it.
Felbeck needed that medication.
His bones were turning to dust without it.
He told me he was overmedicated.
Well, if he did, then he lied.
All right, let's just pretend for a second that I believe you.
He tell you why he needed that money? No.
He said it was urgent.
That's all I know.
Promise.
BOOTH: Thank you so much for coming in.
And since you knew Mr.
Felbeck the best, we thought we could ask you some more questions.
Oh, of course.
Also, I just wanted you to know that your friend, Red, is gonna be all right.
Right.
The doctors called us.
He suffered a broken clavicle, but he'll make a full recovery.
Were you aware of any financial difficulties that Mr.
Felbeck had? Oh, James never had a lot of money.
But he wasn't destitute or anything, I-I did help him out from time to time.
Groceries and whatnot.
Did he have any outstanding debts? Well, what do you mean? Like to a bookie? No, James wasn't like that.
BRENNAN: We know he was selling his osteoporosis medication, which suggests whatever he needed the money for, had to be a matter of life and death.
Getting back to his past, I mean I understand that he was a boxer.
BRENNAN: He was a boxer? When? That's a lifetime ago.
He told me he started boxing in his early 20s.
Before the war.
Wait, he said that he served in the military? Uh-huh.
What is it, Bones? I need to get back to the lab.
Thank you, Ms.
Baker.
You have been very, very helpful.
(door opens) Dr.
Brennan, I ran all the tests you requested.
Did you examine the victim's metacarpals? Yes, but because the bones were submerged in acid, all the remodeling has been obscured.
What about x-rays? They're right here.
There are no calluses on the victim's metacarpals.
Which there most definitely would be had he actually boxed.
What about the metatarsals? Did you find any remodeled march fractures? No, no stress fractures at all.
Which is the most common fracture found on soldiers.
Here, let me show you the isotopic analysis.
Now, look at the carbon, nitrogen, and strontium levels present.
I take it these do not match someone who claimed to have lived in France for over 20 years.
Not even close.
However, the levels are a match for someone living in the James River watershed.
Most probably Richmond, Virginia.
So our victim lied.
He lied about his vocation, he lied about where he lived.
He lied about everything.
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Cut it off, let's go.
Shut it down.
All right, listen, I tracked down where our victim lived in Richmond, Virginia.
Oh, so, uh, not Paris, France? No, he lied, but that was only the tip of the iceberg.
Go on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,what are you doing? I was making a little adjustment to the recipe.
What do you think? A little more, yeah? What about your diet? There are some sacrifices that a man just should not have to make.
Yeah, tell me about it.
So, what was the bigger lie? Get this, okay? The roommate in Richmond, Virginia? His name was Rufus Tucker.
Oh, funny, Rufus didn't mention that.
That's right, bring him back in now, okay? Wow.
Two detectives.
Even more of my tax dollars at work.
You lied to us.
Uh, no.
I I may have made some omissions.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're-you're right.
I lied.
Yeah.
We know about you and the victim, how the two of you used to live together.
We also know that you were accused of running a scam at your previous retirement home.
So, why don't you go ahead and tell us the truth about why you were selling his prescription medication? I told you the truth about that.
Remember, I promised, huh? One of those.
BOOTH: Yeah, right, you ran a scam on Barbara Baker, didn't you? Rich widow.
No family except for an estranged daughter.
BOOTH: You hit on her first.
You played the lech, and then James swoops in like a knight in shining armor.
You two were thick as thieves.
You really expect us to believe that you didn't know what he was gonna spend that money on? I did not know.
My assumption was he was gonna buy a ring.
I don't pretend to be perfect, huh? I've lied I've-I've swindled.
But there is one thing I am not.
You're not a murderer.
No, I'm not.
What about Barbara Baker? You think there's a chance she found out about you two? I don't know.
You really think that a female octogenarian could've done something like this? Hey, unlike Booth, I am an equal opportunity accuser.
See, I don't care about sex, age, just motive and opportunity.
Okay, well, looks like you might be right.
Check this out.
What is this? I finally figured out what our victim was doing online.
This is a search for private investigators in New York.
That's where Barbara's from.
It's also where she was living when her husband died.
So what? You think this could be like a black widow killer? I'm not saying anything yet.
Can you send this to me? I need to figure out what our victim was investigating.
Dr.
Vaziri, I believe I have found something of note.
Look at the distal end of the left ulna.
Torsion spiral fracture.
I've already documented it.
Likely caused by some type of rotational force.
I concur.
Now take a look at the anterior planes of the left hamate and capitate.
It's faint because of the acid degradation.
But there are clearly microfractures.
These suggest the victim was holding something that reverberated in his hand.
I need to talk to Angela.
MONTENEGRO: Okay, let me get this straight, you want me to have our victim hit the killer with his cane and then compute the fractures to the victim's own body? Yes.
Because he wasn't taking his medication at time of death, the victim's bones were highly susceptible to fracture.
So brittle, in fact, they fractured when he struck his killer.
BRENNAN: To sustain a torsion spiral fracture to his left ulna, he must've swung his cane in a downward, diagonal angle.
Okay, hold on.
This is just gonna take a second.
Even in his compromised state, the victim must've swung with considerable force to fracture his own ulna.
Which means the killer was likely injured as well.
Okay, guys, here we go, with the downward, diagonal angle swing.
VAZIRI: It's a match.
So our killer was struck on the left side of the skull.
Have you met anyone with a head injury? No.
But the downward strike could've hit other parts of the body.
Angela, run a new reenactment, this time hitting the clavicle.
(sighs) I think I know who did it.
(knocking on door) Hey, Red.
Hey, Booth.
What are you doing here? Look, Red, I know what happened.
I'm not sure what you mean.
Look, Dr.
Brennan took a look at your x-rays, and we know that you fractured your left clavicle.
Yeah.
It was an impact fracture, they said.
From me impacting the ground.
Look, I was there, Red.
I saw what happened, you landed on your right side.
All right? The fracture came when Felbeck hit you with his cane.
(exhales) You want to tell me what happened? It was when he started talking about the war.
You caught him in one of his lies.
Yeah, he was bragging.
Like he was some kind of war hero.
He didn't even serve.
No way.
I didn't even hit him that hard.
Hey.
You ready to go? Uh, yes.
But first, we need to talk.
Cam, if this could just wait No.
It needs to be now, Arastoo.
(sighs) You know that I love you and I want to give you everything you've ever dreamed of.
But getting pregnant right I want to adopt.
Adopt? No, you told me that I told you I want to be a father, and I do.
More than anything.
But recently Cam, there are so many refugee children out there in the world.
And I just feel in my heart that I would be a really You would make such a good father.
And I am with you.
All the way.
(soft chuckle) Booth, why are we taking this way home? Oh, sorry, I forgot.
Aubrey wanted us to stop by the office.
Why? He didn't say.
He just said that it was important.
I see.
Bones (sighs) you know what we were talking about earlier? Uh, about my, um sniper? I shouldn't have asked, given your religious leanings.
Thank you, Bones, that-that means a lot.
Also, I'm I'm not actually sure I'm ready to-to close that door.
Oh, you want another one? No.
I am completely content the way things are.
Okay, so what are you saying? You know, when I think about what I value most-- you, Christine, Hank, Parker, even my friendship with Angela, none of it makes any sense.
It was not planned.
So, you want me to get you pregnant? No! I do not.
Oh.
We will be bagging your sniper and I will stay on the pill.
I just-- I'm I'm not ready to say this is it.
What is it, Aubrey? Hey, uh, sorry to pull you guys in, but, uh, I thought you'd want to see this.
(indistinct whispering) Why is Barbara Baker here? Who is that woman with her? That's her daughter, isn't it? Yeah, it turns out our victim hired the private investigator to track her down.
He paid the guy with the money that he got from selling his meds.
I don't understand.
I thought he was scamming her.
He was.
But things changed.
The unexpected happened.
He fell in love.
You're totally breaking character! So what? You'd prefer I die from an obstructed airflow? Just keep it cool, all right? Kyle, we're here to conduct experiments.
Cool is not exactly our milieu.
Whatevs.
Let's just get started, all right? Evan, open one of the barrels.
Be careful.
KYLE: This place is just like they said it would be on the news.
Check it out.
The lid is ajar.
Dudes this is totally boss! Baking soda and acid.
Instant volcano! (both laughing) (laughing) What? What are you two nerds laughing at? Because, Zero Charisma, this isn't hydrochloric acid.
It's sulfuric acid.
Then what's the white stuff? C12 H22 O11.
Every kid's favorite.
Sugar? What do you get combining sugar and sulfuric acid? CLAIRE: Just wait and see.
Only the biggest, baddest black snake firework you ever saw.
Ah, that was anticlimactic.
(screams) (laughs) Awesome.
BRENNAN: Booth, please, I am not trying to argue with you.
Okay, but then just say it.
Okay, why don't you just say it? Seventh graders playing with a barrel of acid is not really the best idea.
I will not say it, especially as they took the proper safety precautions.
I applaud their curious minds.
AUBREY: Plus, their intervention did save the body from being completely dissolved.
See? BOOTH: Zip it.
Okay, Aubrey, whose side are you on anyways? Hers.
Sorry, but in this instance, I am hos before bros.
What? That did not come out right.
No.
Of course, the real criminals are Goodlife Chemicals.
I mean, they are the ones who illegally disposed of their toxic waste.
Yeah, it's like Love Canal all over again.
BOOTH: Stop with the Love Canal.
What is with the breath coming through the back right now? It smells like death warmed over-- almost like a toxic blast of camel butt.
Wow.
This is a black kale chia smoothie.
Why? Why are you drinking that? Did you lose a bet or something? - Do you have an infected lesion? - What? Why would you even ask that? Well, black kale is high in vitamin K and antioxidants, both of which promote healing.
AUBREY: Okay.
No.
No lesions, okay? Jessica just thought maybe it'd be a good idea if I, uh, went on a junk food cleanse.
No big deal.
Go back to the doughnuts, because that smells like monkey ass.
(exhales sharply) (indistinct police radio chatter) (camera clicks) MAN: Yeah, I see some over here.
(grunting) Easy.
BOOTH: Wow, you were not kidding.
This is like one of those black snake fireworks.
I told you! All right.
Science is cool! Really? Wow.
You've got to work on your delivery.
Uh Excuse me, are you FBI? Because I must insist that you remove all these people in Hazmat suits immediately.
Really, why? They're just doing their job.
Their very presence is prejudicial to my client.
Oh, what a shocker.
We have a lawyer here.
Who represents Goodlife Chemicals.
All these precautions-- the Hazmat suits, the decontamination foam, it misrepresents that these chemicals are hazardous.
Nonsense.
Sulfuric acid is not only hazardous, it is highly corrosive.
It would eat through your flesh in seconds.
That is your opinion.
SAROYAN: Uh, no, it's fact.
And the reason why I have almost nothing to work with, except for this gray hair.
So you're saying our victim was an old guy.
Well, judging by the deterioration of the medial carpal joints, I'd say at least 70.
BOOTH: Killing Grandpa, huh? That's not good press for your company.
You want to put that camera away? AUBREY: You know what I'm thinking? Maybe our victim here was one of the plaintiffs suing Goodlife Chemical.
Uh-huh.
Hey, Bones, can you just tell me when the body was dumped in the acid there.
I can't say with any accuracy, but Hodgins would have a better idea.
Oh, unfortunately, he wasn't able to make it.
He had some kind of wheelchair accident.
So, do you have direct access to this site? I must warn you, if you even insinuate my involvement in this man's death, I will sue you for slander.
Right.
That's exciting.
Go ahead and try.
Oh, no, it's the press.
Could you people please hurry along? Yeah.
Oh, and did you get a sample of the sulfuric acid for Dr.
Hodgins to test? Yes, I did.
I said hurry! Let's go! Oh! Oh, the acid is all over me! Oh, my God.
Oh, my Calm down.
Calm Calm down, calm down.
Oh! You want me to calm down?! Calm down?! Are you insane?! Whoa.
Don't you know anything?! This stuff is pure toxic hell! Uh, do you want to be decontaminated? Do it! Wh-What are you waiting for?! BRENNAN: Wait.
But, Booth, he's not Not going to survive if we don't help.
Isn't that right, guys? Hurry! (groans) Thank you so much.
Just doing our job, sir.
Happy to help.
Oh, God.
Ah (yelling) Bones 12x03 The Final Chapter: The New Tricks in the Old Dogs Origi Main Title Theme The Crystal Method Hey.
Hey.
There you are.
We missed you at the crime scene.
- You okay? - Oh, yeah.
Never better.
- Is that the victim's skull? - Yeah.
Angela just finished scanning it so she could do a facial reconstruction.
What's all that schmutz that's on it? It's carbon residue.
Residue from what? Long story short, the victim was put in sulfuric acid, then kids decided to do an experiment, adding sugar.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Creating an exothermic reaction? How long was the carbon snake? About 12 feet.
Lucky son of a bitch.
Excuse me? Ha, oh, sorry.
It's just, whenever I've thought of my own death, that is exactly how I've always wanted to go.
Man, this day just keeps getting better and better.
Oh, hey, honey.
I'm almost done.
I just feel badly.
It's not a very flattering portrait, I'm afraid.
Yes, I agree.
The way you've drawn him, he reminds me of Eddie, the Iron Maiden mascot.
Excuse me? Iron Maiden? Not the torture instrument of historic myth, but the English heavy metal band.
You know who Iron Maiden is? You, who thinks Maroon 5 is a color palette? Yes.
I have long been fascinated with black and heavy metal cultures, ever since we had the case involving the band Skalle.
"Skalle," incidentally, means "skull" in Norwegian.
Yes, I-I remember that.
(chuckles) Mm.
Something's wrong.
Angela, can you bring up your photographs of the victim? Uh, yeah, just a second.
The skull was still pretty covered in carbon, but I don't think I missed anything.
And then go closer on the mandible.
Oh, right, I see what I missed: the weathering to the mandible.
It suggests bite collapse.
The disintegration of the jaw-- it is common among long-time denture wearers.
Okay, well, let's add some dentures.
And his hair.
Okay, I'll run a search through missing persons and DMV.
I was glad to hear that Hodgins is doing better after his wheelchair incident.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
That was, that was nothing.
Just one of the wheels popped right off the axle.
Just one of those things.
One of those things being you having sex in his wheelchair? What? How did you Who are you? Just a forensic scientist at the height of her deductive powers.
I have to tell you, it was really awesome.
Like, better than it's been in forever.
Glad to hear.
And we also started talking about maybe having another kid.
Are you guys gonna have any more? We haven't had those discussions.
Perhaps perhaps we should.
(computer beeping) Oh, okay, we got a match.
James Felbeck, age 86.
Hmm.
He had a long life.
What's a Silver Alert? It's like an AMBER Alert for missing seniors.
It looks like this was issued this morning.
He was last seen at the retirement center where he lived.
BRENNAN: Given his age at time of death, it's surprising how little the FBI has on file concerning our victim.
Which means he's probably a pretty decent guy.
No felonies.
No misdemeanors.
Also, no family.
No children to visit him in his old age.
You okay, Bones? Uh, yes.
Angela and I were talking.
She and Hodgins are considering having another child, and she asked about us.
Wow.
What, you want another one? Why? Our family's perfect the way it is.
Oh, I completely agree.
Right.
Which is why I want you to get a vasectomy.
What? Vasectomy.
It's a surgical procedure where the vas deferens is severed and then tied.
No.
No, no, no, no.
No severing.
No way.
Booth, why are you covering yourself? I'm not going to perform the procedure myself, in a car.
All right.
Ah, no, no.
Not gonna happen.
Why not? - You scared? - No.
I am not scared, but, um (sighs) I'm a sniper, you hear me? And snipers-- they do not fire blanks.
And in that analogy, my ovaries are what? Target practice? Tar What? You know what? I-I don't want to talk about this.
Okay? We got a case.
Let's focus.
Okay, fine.
Good.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay.
Just want to be clear, all right? When we get there, just follow my lead.
My gut is telling me that our killer is someone on the staff.
Well, it's possible.
The killer could also be a fellow retiree.
(chuckles): Come on.
Seriously? You think that another senior killed and dumped our victim in acid? What? You're presuming that just because somebody is old, they are less capable? That's ageism, Booth.
Ageism? Now you're accusing me of being ageist? Yes.
However, If you'd like to talk about something else, we could always return to you being (whistles) No, no, no.
How about those Mets? What are the Mets? BOOTH: Have to admit, this is a lot nicer than I expected.
BRENNAN: I agree.
The facilities seem well maintained, the residents engaged and active.
BOOTH: Right.
(laughs): Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did you just, uh Pinch your cute little tuckus? Can you blame me? No, I cannot.
I like her.
BOOTH: All right, (laughs) don't encourage her.
Hello.
So sorry about that.
Agnes, hands to yourself.
You must be Agent Booth and Dr.
Brennan.
I'm Francis.
Very pleased to meet you.
Not pleased, because obviously death is horrible and especially when it happens in such a unexp We-we get it, Francis.
Okay? You seem a little nervous.
Are you okay? Given your occupation, I would imagine you'd be accustomed to literally being surrounded by death.
What? Death is inevitable.
Bones, you don't And in his case, relatively imminent.
Stop.
Sorry, she didn't mean that.
She just likes to blurt things out.
You're gonna have a very healthy and happy life in front of you.
No, Booth, he will not.
BOOTH: Stop.
Can we continue this somewhere else? An excellent idea.
I could show you to Mr.
Felbeck's room.
That would be best.
You don't just scream out like that.
Well, you don't tiptoe around death.
(muttering) It's part of life.
VAZIRI: Sulfuric acid dissolved away most of the small bones in the extremities.
Most of the bones I have are cooked due to the reaction of the acid and sugar mixing.
Hey, no complaining over there, pal.
At least you got something to work with.
I'm not finding any clothing whatsoever in our carbonaceous viper here.
This is really how you want to die? Yeah.
My Viking funeral, baby.
(chuckles softly) I have to admit, it's a pretty amazing experiment these kids did.
Right? Michael Vincent and I are totally recreating this when I get home, only much, much bigger.
Sounds like fun.
You and your Mini-Me playing mad scientist.
Speaking of kids, you got a wedding coming up pretty soon.
A wedding is not kids, Dr.
Hodgins.
You know what they say.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Work, Dr.
Hodgins.
Work comes next.
What have you gotten? Well, there's no flesh or clothing, but thanks to my esteemed colleague, John George Haigh, I was able to estimate how long our victim was in the acid.
VAZIRI: John George Haigh? You mean the Acid Bath Murderer? Yeah.
One and the same.
So, George found that it took 48 hours to fully dissolve a body to the point where you could actually pour it down the drain without clogging the pipes.
SAROYAN: Of course.
When killing someone, it's definitely plumbing that keeps you up at night.
HODGINS: So, based on the victim's height and weight, I was able to extrapolate that he was placed in the barrel somewhere between 18 and 24 hours prior to the sugar being added.
VAZIRI: Unfortunately, all I found are some blunt force trauma injuries on the left femur and left ribs, three through five.
As you can see, based on the cross-sectional outline, the shape of the weapon was long and cylindrical.
Maybe a pipe.
Dowel rod? Golf clubs.
Rebar.
Baseball bat.
Nunchucks SAROYAN: Guys.
Our victim was an old man in a nursing home.
You might want to think cane.
(inhales) Cane.
Ah.
Here we are.
This is Mr.
Felbeck's suite.
As you can see, we provide very spacious accommodations for all of our residents uh, excuse me, what exactly is that? An A.
L.
S.
I'm looking for blood evidence.
You didn't clean anything up, did you, Francis? I can assure you, the room is exactly how Mr.
Felbeck left it.
BRENNAN: Interesting.
The decor is quite distinct.
Most of these pieces are French Colonial.
Yes.
Um Mr.
Felbeck had a a fascinating life.
Yeah.
He told me he lived in Paris for nearly 20 years.
So, did Mr.
Felbeck ever complain about the staff members treating him poorly? No.
None at all.
Um He was very, very happy here.
The staff adored him.
How about any of the other residents? Did they ever complain about, uh staff members treating them poorly? Agent Booth, my residents are in the twilight of their lives.
So, they suffer from dementia, Alzheimer's.
When they get confused, there are times when unfounded accusations are made.
BRENNAN: Booth, I found something.
She found something.
FRANCIS: Oh, my Is this where he died? BOOTH: No, this is where he went to heaven.
My husband is euphemistically referring to sex.
By the sheer quantity BOOTH: You're gonna need a new cleaning service.
So who was Mr.
Felbeck seeing? By seeing, he means in-intercourse.
Yeah.
(clears throat) That's her, right over there, in blue.
Barbara Baker.
Poor thing.
She's been through so much.
What do you mean? She has no family.
(sighs) Oh, wow.
None at all.
I mean, well, technically, she has a daughter, but they haven't spoken in years.
Barbara doesn't even know where her daughter lives.
BOOTH: Look at her, Bones.
She looks like my Grandma Alice.
Gram Excuse me.
Listen, let me just do all the talking.
I don't want you to excite them, or say something that's gonna, like, freak 'em out.
That's fine.
I have no intention of causing this poor woman a myocardial infarction.
BOOTH: Hi, ladies.
(chuckles) Uh, Barbara Baker, can we speak to you for one moment? Oh, not now.
I'm 84 and I'm playing bridge.
Whatever you need cannot be more important than playing bridge.
It has to do with James Felbeck.
If anyone looks at my hand, I'll know.
Um no Tell me the truth.
Is James okay? Maybe you'd like to sit down.
Is he dead? Yes, ma'am.
Murdered? Yes.
Son of a bitch.
Rufus Tucker! You bastard son of a bitch! RUFUS: What are you talking about? Stop that! What are you? Hey! Put down that cane! Hey! Barbara! Calm down Oof! Ooh! Hey! I said stop it! Booth, I would say we have our next suspect, except I'm not sure who seems more guilty.
Mr.
Tucker or the cane-wielder herself? Stop it! BOOTH: That's gonna leave a bruise.
This is unacceptable.
You must arrest him.
He's a murderer.
(scoffs) Do I look like a murderer? Yes.
Let's just remain calm, all right? Look, all I have to do is ask a few questions, that's all.
You want to question us together? Do you have a problem with that? Well, Columbo always questions his suspects separately.
BOOTH: That's very true.
He would separate them by I'm that was the actor.
Look.
I'm not Columbo.
My husband doesn't believe you're true suspects.
Yeah.
(chuckles) Because you're so old.
BOOTH: Stop.
Thanks, Bones.
Really? I didn't Barbara, let me ask you a question, please, do why do you think, uh, Rufus here is involved? 'Cause he's jealous.
Ah, Ge Jealous of your relationship with Mr.
Felbeck? You two previously dated? I courted Barbara.
He asked if I wanted to pork.
I'm sorry? It's a line that's had limited success.
BARBARA: James, on the other hand, was a gentleman.
He was kind and a good man.
A surprise.
Someone that I could see myself spending the rest of my days with.
(groans) BOOTH: Mr.
Tucker.
Hmm? Where were you the night before last? Same as always, I was here, uh watching TV until about 2:00.
BRENNAN: Can anyone corroborate your alibi? The new guy.
Uh what's his name? It's a color, uh Blue? Yellow? Yeah.
No.
Uh, Blackie.
Uh, well, black is not a color.
It absorbs all colors on the spectrum BARBARA: Uh, Red.
He means Red Hudmore.
He moved in last week.
Thank you.
Go pork yourself.
(beeps) VAZIRI: Cam, I was just about to call you.
I think I found cause of death.
Excellent, but while it's just you and me, I was hoping that we might be able to talk.
Like talk talk.
You mean about what Dr.
Hodgins and I were discussing earlier.
Look, I want nothing more than to marry you, and I know how much you want to be a father.
Cam, can we talk about this later? Not really.
Biologically speaking, our options begin to shrink in the not so distant future.
I hear you, but when I look at you, all I see are limitless possibilities.
HODGINS: That is the most beautiful thing I've ever awkwardly interrupted.
Dr.
Hodgins, what is it you need? Well, Limitless Possibilities here sent me a text.
You've got some vertebraes you need me to swab? Yeah.
Here, let me show you what I found, camouflaged by the acid erosion.
Extensive microfracturing on the posterior arches of the C1 and C2 vertebrae.
So cause of death was likely a broken neck.
All right, well, I'll swab within the fractures for trace.
Hopefully it'll point to whoever did this, because at this stage, it's anyone's ball game.
SAROYAN: Actually, I disagree.
I've been looking at the victim's medical charts.
James Felbeck had osteoporosis.
So his bone matrix was compromised.
SAROYAN: Well, yes and no.
He was taking part in a drug study to repair lost bone mass.
And as of his last bone density test, which was six months ago, his T-score was +1.
HODGINS: +1? Doesn't sound too promising.
Actually, it means his bones were as strong as a 30-year-old's.
SAROYAN: And given the severity of the damage we're seeing, I don't think there's any chance one of the fellow residents could have done this to him.
(indistinct chatter) Excuse me.
Excuse me, are you Red Hudmore? I'm FBI, Special Agent Seeley Booth; this here is my partner Dr.
Temperance Brennan.
You're here because of the guy that was killed, right? Uh, did you know him? Uh, no.
No.
What about Rufus Tucker? He said he saw you in the TV room the night before last.
Yeah, I was there till, uh (sniffs) uh, 10:00.
He kept flipping the TV channels and talking about his all-time favorite television babes.
(chuckles) A gentleman would never talk that way about Donna Reed.
BOOTH: Wait a second You were with the 720 MP Battalion? RED: Don't tell me you heard of us.
I have not.
Bones, the 720 was the only battle-tested MP battalion in Vietnam.
My pops, my grandfather, he served with them back in the '50s.
Soldiers of the Gauntlet.
That's what they called us.
That's right.
Soldiers of the Gauntlet.
Right, well, Booth, now that we've verified the alibi, we should get going.
It was an honor to meet you, sir.
Okay.
Hey, Bones, hold-- one more thing.
You know, I may need another set of eyes and ears on the property while I'm gone, in case you see anything.
I don't know if you're up for one last case? Okay, Booth.
Yeah.
Hey.
I got the swab results back from the fractures of the victim's vertebrae and ribs.
So I was right? He was hit with a cane? Yup.
Aluminum alloy.
Very lightweight and extremely common.
Also, um, I've got a requisition form here for you.
Oh.
For what? Oh, you know, nothing much.
Ballistic gelatin, forensic-grade resin bones, a dozen or so aluminum alloy canes.
Also chinos, reading glasses, and a cardigan.
I don't want to know what you're building, do I? No.
No, you do not.
Okay do it.
Hey, what about you? Is that the victim's hair I'm looking at? No.
It's canine dander from five different breeds.
It was found at the crime scene.
Take a look.
Golden retriever, beagle, Pomeranian Yeah, they're all comfort dogs.
The kind used in therapy.
Also I found trace of the victim's blood.
Which means wherever they do this type of therapy is most likely the room in which he was killed.
This is the common area, where we do our dog therapy, among other activities.
Who had access to the room last night? All the staff and residents have full access 24/7.
This is Sam, one of our orderlies.
He'll clear the area so you won't be disturbed.
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask the two of you to leave.
This is officially a crime scene now.
Of course.
Yeah.
Sam, if you will.
(whispering): Sam is tall.
I don't know, Bones, looks pretty clean to me.
Nothing's disturbed, there's no broken glass anywhere.
You might want to check the couches over there.
My guess is that's where they did the dog therapy.
I don't need your assistance, Booth.
If you are bored and need to keep busy, I have a video on my phone showing exactly how a no-scalpel vasectomy is performed.
(cell phone ringing) No, no, that's fine.
Look at that-- Aubrey to the rescue.
Perfect.
Aubrey, what do you got? Tell me something good.
Well, I just ran background checks on all the employees at the retirement home.
Booth? Hold on.
Yeah? I think I found something.
BOOTH: Please tell me it's blood this time.
It is.
However, based on the smear pattern, it appears the killer used multiple cleaning agents.
Possibly as many as four.
Four cleaning agents? AUBREY: Wait, hold on.
Did you just say something about cleaning supplies? Because the guy that I found is one of the orderlies.
- Who? - Uh, big guy.
His name is Sam Wadkins.
He got charged with assault.
Sam, six-foot-six? Yep.
That's him, and by the looks of the photos from the guy that he hit, seems more like attempted murder to me.
Okay, great.
Thanks.
Listen, come on, we got to get the orderly.
What is it? We got to go find the orderly, come on.
Excuse me, Sam? Sam Wadkins? Yeah.
We need to ask you a few questions.
Booth? Yeah? There's blood on these supplies.
Mr.
Wadkins, will you take a seat, please? I prefer to stand.
Take a seat.
(clears throat) (stifled whistle) It'll be okay.
So, our lab found Mr.
Felbeck's blood on one of the solvents in your cart.
If you want any leniency, I'd suggest now would be a great time to confess.
No.
I didn't do nothing.
So, what, you're thinking that someone went behind your back and used your cleaning supplies? I don't know.
I don't want to get nobody in trouble.
Sam, why don't you tell me about this man that you assaulted? That was an accident.
He hit my car.
All I did was give him a push.
Yeah? When you're six-six, 300 pounds, accidents can get pretty messy, can't they? I didn't kill Mr.
Felbeck.
He and I were friends.
We used to watch movies together, boxing matches.
He used to tell me about his time as a welterweight.
He was one of the coolest old dudes I ever met.
Okay, then, so, as his friend, then tell me, if not you, who else could have killed him? I don't know.
So you didn't see or hear anything? All I know is, the last few weeks he spent a whole lot of time at night in the computer lab.
Okay.
Don't ask me what he was doing on the computer.
All he said was, better I didn't know.
VAZIRI: Hey, Hodgins, Cam asked that check on how you're progressing on some sort of experiment.
And now I understand why she didn't come herself.
Hey, Arastoo, come join us.
Allow me to introduce you to the newest member of our family.
Preston Alexander Hildenbrand III.
Or you can just call him Gramps.
Hodgins named him after his maternal grandfather.
Yeah.
Now, grab a cane and give him a good whack.
What? No, I'm not hitting Gramps.
Oh, you'd do it if you ever met him, trust me.
He was the most selfish, miserly billionaire son of a bitch this side of Montgomery Burns.
Honey, maybe you should do it yourself.
You know, give him a good whack.
Really? It's cheaper than therapy.
This is a long time coming, old man.
Okay.
(chuckles) This is very, very demented.
Yeah.
Ready Ooh ah! 321 psi.
That's a That's a good, strong blow.
Yeah, it felt really, really good.
The problem is the ribs are barely fractured.
Which means the killer is someone significantly stronger than Hodgins.
Or our victim's bones weren't as robust as they were six months ago.
I see you're, uh you're taking some of our computers out for evidence.
Well, apparently Mr.
Felbeck spent a lot of time online before he died.
I mean, could be nothing, but hey, it's worth checking, right? I saw you also took Sam in for questioning.
You think he's good for it? I don't know the guy from Adam, but my gut says, uh not a snowball's chance in July.
(chuckles) Tell you what, I got an idea.
What do you say we go for a walk? No, I I don't feel like it.
Come on.
Come on, it's good exercise.
We can go scope out some suspects.
Well, I Come on, let's go for a walk.
Oh, ah, heck.
Come on.
Let me give you a hand.
Let me give you a hand.
You get that.
All right, all right Aah! Red! Red, Red, you okay? Don't move.
Hey, we need some help in here.
Red, Red, don't move.
Quick, call an ambulance! What happened? We were just going for a walk, and he fell.
You were exerting him, weren't you? No, I didn't.
(groans) It's gonna be okay, Mr.
Hudmore.
I'm here.
It's gonna be okay.
We're gonna take care of you.
Dr.
Brennan, here's my analysis of the calcium phosphate leached from the bones due to acidification.
It's a substance called "bone shadows.
" According to your measurements, the victim only had 20% of optimal bone density.
Which means his bones were so brittle, anyone, young or old, could have killed him.
What's strange is that, six months ago, his bones were robust and healthy.
The question now is, what caused them to deteriorate so quickly? No, that answer is simple.
He wasn't taking his medication.
The real question is, why wasn't he taking it? Angela, is this one of the computers from the retirement home? Yeah.
And you won't believe what I'm finding.
I assume you're referring to pornographic material? Enough to make a teenage boy blush.
You'd think at a certain age enough would be enough.
Not for the male of the species.
They are biologically programmed to keep wanting sexual gratification.
Which is why I told Booth he needs to get a vasectomy.
Can you see if anyone was selling their medication online? Wait, what? Prescription medication.
Specifically for osteoporosis.
No.
The part about you neutering your husband.
It's a rational decision.
Neither one of us wants any more children.
Right, but Booth is Catholic.
So? We had premarital sex.
Clearly exceptions can be made.
Okay.
You let me know how that turns out.
Regarding the prescription medication, there is something of interest I did find.
MONTENEGRO: See this account? BRENNAN: Hattie Finnegan? I-I don't know who that is.
Oh, she's a resident who died a month ago.
Wait, this account is still active.
Yeah.
And someone has been using it to sell prescription medication online.
Was it the victim? I don't know.
But whoever they are, they've been running some pretty questionable searches.
I mean, anyone who looks up naked pictures of Donna Reed that's just wrong.
(cell phone beeping) What, did I say something? Booth, I know who you need to bring in for questioning.
Mr.
Tucker, we did some digging on the computers at the retirement home.
We know that you were selling James Felbeck's drug medication online.
Good.
That's excellent detective work.
I'm sorry, you're glad we found you out? Well, my taxes pay for your salary.
I'm glad to see that they're not being wasted.
Okay.
So you want to know what I think happened? Might as well.
I'm paying for it.
I think you stole his medication to sell online, replaced it with some kind of placebo.
Felbeck found out and he confronted you.
I see.
Uh, I take back what I said about the excellent detective work.
Okay.
Fine.
Why don't you tell me what happened? Well, James came to me, said he needed money, asked me to sell his medication.
Why you? Hmm? You two close? No.
Barely knew each other.
But he knew I was street.
You're street? Yeah.
I'm very, very street.
Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
I'm not buying it.
Felbeck needed that medication.
His bones were turning to dust without it.
He told me he was overmedicated.
Well, if he did, then he lied.
All right, let's just pretend for a second that I believe you.
He tell you why he needed that money? No.
He said it was urgent.
That's all I know.
Promise.
BOOTH: Thank you so much for coming in.
And since you knew Mr.
Felbeck the best, we thought we could ask you some more questions.
Oh, of course.
Also, I just wanted you to know that your friend, Red, is gonna be all right.
Right.
The doctors called us.
He suffered a broken clavicle, but he'll make a full recovery.
Were you aware of any financial difficulties that Mr.
Felbeck had? Oh, James never had a lot of money.
But he wasn't destitute or anything, I-I did help him out from time to time.
Groceries and whatnot.
Did he have any outstanding debts? Well, what do you mean? Like to a bookie? No, James wasn't like that.
BRENNAN: We know he was selling his osteoporosis medication, which suggests whatever he needed the money for, had to be a matter of life and death.
Getting back to his past, I mean I understand that he was a boxer.
BRENNAN: He was a boxer? When? That's a lifetime ago.
He told me he started boxing in his early 20s.
Before the war.
Wait, he said that he served in the military? Uh-huh.
What is it, Bones? I need to get back to the lab.
Thank you, Ms.
Baker.
You have been very, very helpful.
(door opens) Dr.
Brennan, I ran all the tests you requested.
Did you examine the victim's metacarpals? Yes, but because the bones were submerged in acid, all the remodeling has been obscured.
What about x-rays? They're right here.
There are no calluses on the victim's metacarpals.
Which there most definitely would be had he actually boxed.
What about the metatarsals? Did you find any remodeled march fractures? No, no stress fractures at all.
Which is the most common fracture found on soldiers.
Here, let me show you the isotopic analysis.
Now, look at the carbon, nitrogen, and strontium levels present.
I take it these do not match someone who claimed to have lived in France for over 20 years.
Not even close.
However, the levels are a match for someone living in the James River watershed.
Most probably Richmond, Virginia.
So our victim lied.
He lied about his vocation, he lied about where he lived.
He lied about everything.
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Cut it off, let's go.
Shut it down.
All right, listen, I tracked down where our victim lived in Richmond, Virginia.
Oh, so, uh, not Paris, France? No, he lied, but that was only the tip of the iceberg.
Go on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,what are you doing? I was making a little adjustment to the recipe.
What do you think? A little more, yeah? What about your diet? There are some sacrifices that a man just should not have to make.
Yeah, tell me about it.
So, what was the bigger lie? Get this, okay? The roommate in Richmond, Virginia? His name was Rufus Tucker.
Oh, funny, Rufus didn't mention that.
That's right, bring him back in now, okay? Wow.
Two detectives.
Even more of my tax dollars at work.
You lied to us.
Uh, no.
I I may have made some omissions.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're-you're right.
I lied.
Yeah.
We know about you and the victim, how the two of you used to live together.
We also know that you were accused of running a scam at your previous retirement home.
So, why don't you go ahead and tell us the truth about why you were selling his prescription medication? I told you the truth about that.
Remember, I promised, huh? One of those.
BOOTH: Yeah, right, you ran a scam on Barbara Baker, didn't you? Rich widow.
No family except for an estranged daughter.
BOOTH: You hit on her first.
You played the lech, and then James swoops in like a knight in shining armor.
You two were thick as thieves.
You really expect us to believe that you didn't know what he was gonna spend that money on? I did not know.
My assumption was he was gonna buy a ring.
I don't pretend to be perfect, huh? I've lied I've-I've swindled.
But there is one thing I am not.
You're not a murderer.
No, I'm not.
What about Barbara Baker? You think there's a chance she found out about you two? I don't know.
You really think that a female octogenarian could've done something like this? Hey, unlike Booth, I am an equal opportunity accuser.
See, I don't care about sex, age, just motive and opportunity.
Okay, well, looks like you might be right.
Check this out.
What is this? I finally figured out what our victim was doing online.
This is a search for private investigators in New York.
That's where Barbara's from.
It's also where she was living when her husband died.
So what? You think this could be like a black widow killer? I'm not saying anything yet.
Can you send this to me? I need to figure out what our victim was investigating.
Dr.
Vaziri, I believe I have found something of note.
Look at the distal end of the left ulna.
Torsion spiral fracture.
I've already documented it.
Likely caused by some type of rotational force.
I concur.
Now take a look at the anterior planes of the left hamate and capitate.
It's faint because of the acid degradation.
But there are clearly microfractures.
These suggest the victim was holding something that reverberated in his hand.
I need to talk to Angela.
MONTENEGRO: Okay, let me get this straight, you want me to have our victim hit the killer with his cane and then compute the fractures to the victim's own body? Yes.
Because he wasn't taking his medication at time of death, the victim's bones were highly susceptible to fracture.
So brittle, in fact, they fractured when he struck his killer.
BRENNAN: To sustain a torsion spiral fracture to his left ulna, he must've swung his cane in a downward, diagonal angle.
Okay, hold on.
This is just gonna take a second.
Even in his compromised state, the victim must've swung with considerable force to fracture his own ulna.
Which means the killer was likely injured as well.
Okay, guys, here we go, with the downward, diagonal angle swing.
VAZIRI: It's a match.
So our killer was struck on the left side of the skull.
Have you met anyone with a head injury? No.
But the downward strike could've hit other parts of the body.
Angela, run a new reenactment, this time hitting the clavicle.
(sighs) I think I know who did it.
(knocking on door) Hey, Red.
Hey, Booth.
What are you doing here? Look, Red, I know what happened.
I'm not sure what you mean.
Look, Dr.
Brennan took a look at your x-rays, and we know that you fractured your left clavicle.
Yeah.
It was an impact fracture, they said.
From me impacting the ground.
Look, I was there, Red.
I saw what happened, you landed on your right side.
All right? The fracture came when Felbeck hit you with his cane.
(exhales) You want to tell me what happened? It was when he started talking about the war.
You caught him in one of his lies.
Yeah, he was bragging.
Like he was some kind of war hero.
He didn't even serve.
No way.
I didn't even hit him that hard.
Hey.
You ready to go? Uh, yes.
But first, we need to talk.
Cam, if this could just wait No.
It needs to be now, Arastoo.
(sighs) You know that I love you and I want to give you everything you've ever dreamed of.
But getting pregnant right I want to adopt.
Adopt? No, you told me that I told you I want to be a father, and I do.
More than anything.
But recently Cam, there are so many refugee children out there in the world.
And I just feel in my heart that I would be a really You would make such a good father.
And I am with you.
All the way.
(soft chuckle) Booth, why are we taking this way home? Oh, sorry, I forgot.
Aubrey wanted us to stop by the office.
Why? He didn't say.
He just said that it was important.
I see.
Bones (sighs) you know what we were talking about earlier? Uh, about my, um sniper? I shouldn't have asked, given your religious leanings.
Thank you, Bones, that-that means a lot.
Also, I'm I'm not actually sure I'm ready to-to close that door.
Oh, you want another one? No.
I am completely content the way things are.
Okay, so what are you saying? You know, when I think about what I value most-- you, Christine, Hank, Parker, even my friendship with Angela, none of it makes any sense.
It was not planned.
So, you want me to get you pregnant? No! I do not.
Oh.
We will be bagging your sniper and I will stay on the pill.
I just-- I'm I'm not ready to say this is it.
What is it, Aubrey? Hey, uh, sorry to pull you guys in, but, uh, I thought you'd want to see this.
(indistinct whispering) Why is Barbara Baker here? Who is that woman with her? That's her daughter, isn't it? Yeah, it turns out our victim hired the private investigator to track her down.
He paid the guy with the money that he got from selling his meds.
I don't understand.
I thought he was scamming her.
He was.
But things changed.
The unexpected happened.
He fell in love.