Midsomer Murders (1997) s12e06 Episode Script
The Creeper
Go on.
Out you go! (BEEPS) Did you put the alarm on? Of course I did.
Did you check the back door? Yes.
Darling while you're up, I think I left my water on the dressing table.
Thank you, darling.
Don't I get a goodnight kiss? Mmcome back to bed! What are you talking about? I am in bed! (SCREAMS) Go on, go on! (CAR ALARM) Go on! Er, next, Freddy's birthday.
We'll have drinks in the Yellow Room before dinner.
Tell Missus Cox beef, our beef, as bloody as she likes.
What about Tallis? You know she doesn't eat meat.
Well, she can eat vegetables then, can't she? I want Freddy on my right, Isobel on my left, the girls as far away from me as possible and the rest, I leave up to you.
Race you to the Dower House! Don't you dare.
Wuss! If she wants to break her leg that's her business.
Go away, Rupert.
I'm not in the mood for you today.
I'll give you a back massage.
No.
Get off my bed, you're a servant.
It's not appropriate.
I love you too (!) Be gone! Happy birthday, Freddy! Happy birthday, Freddy! Hop in, meeting at 10:00.
See you at dinner, Isobel.
Jack? Can I ask a favour? Anything for you.
David Roper is staying for a couple of days.
Can we bring him this evening? Oh, God Well, he is Freddy's godfather.
And you know what happened last year.
Yes, and David was mortified.
He hasn't had a drink since.
I'll believe that when I see it.
Go on, then.
Bring him if you must.
Oh, thanks, Jack.
Really.
Tallis! Get that animal out of the way! Bye, Daddy.
Morning.
I'll never get used to that man careering up and down our drive.
Well, it's his drive now, Mummy.
Have some breakfast.
You're the twelfth baronet, Will, and the first not to live at Chettham Park House.
'Adapt and survive', that's the name of the game.
Say what you like, that man turned us out of our home.
Saved our bacon, more like.
Jack's been a very good friend to us.
I'm sorry, darling.
I had such a beastly night Every joint in my body was on fire.
Get me my pills, will you? David Roper's coming to stay.
That should cheer you up.
How lovely! David will buck things up around here.
Mm.
Not too much, I hope.
It wouldn't keep a child out, nevermind The Creeper.
Joyce, I have told you, The Creeper goes for big houses in the country, stuffed with jewellery and antiques.
Not semi's in Causton with a couple of tacky prints.
He creeps into people's bedrooms, Tom.
When they're asleep.
(DOOR BELL) See? It's perfect Hi.
Morning.
It's absolutely fineoh Address your remarks to that young man.
He's supposed to be investigating The Creeper.
Missus Barnaby would like to know why you haven't caught him yet? Well, she's not the only one.
What's happened? The Chief Constable's been done.
By The Creeper? Looks like it.
I've just come from his house, it's like Fort Knox.
Oh, dear.
Tom! It's not funny.
No, it's not.
He's got forensics all over the place like a rash.
Everyone's sworn to secrecy, of course.
You can imagine how paranoid he is about security.
Yes, I can.
You're gonna love the next bit.
There's more? The Chief Constable wants to see you first thing tomorrow morning.
Me? Apparently the case requires 'the delicate touch of an experienced senior officer.
' Now, that is funny.
ISOBEL: David, you look marvellous! Doesn't he look marvellous! Positively glowing! Well, my body is a temple these days.
Somewhat battered (YELLS IN EXCITEMENT) Freddy! Happy birthday! How's capitalism? Jack made you rich yet? Well, you know YeahOh! Oh, the Lady Elizabeth! Thank God you're here, David.
Now we'll have some fun.
I'm as dull as ditchwater these days.
I doubt that very much! Talking of which, isn't it time we had a drink? I'm gasping.
Mineral water, you idiots.
Come on! Here you are, you lucky people.
Advance copies, personally inscribed by the real author, ie, me.
So this is THE Harry Godbolt book then, is it? I've ghosted pop stars, footballers, but gangsters are the vainest of the lot, believe me.
Bit of a coup getting this, wasn't it? Godbolt remembered me from the old days.
'The old days'? Used to gatecrash all our parties at the gallery.
Ghastly man.
Oh, it was chic then! To have a tame gangster in tow.
Oh, there's a great photo! (HUMS) Here.
Taken at the opening night party.
(LAUGHTER) PHOTOGRAPHER: Thank you.
OK, one more.
This way, this way, darling.
One more photo.
Lovely Isn't that like the one in your bedroom? Yes.
Minus Godbolt, thank God.
(LAUGHS) Probably rushed off to rob a bank.
Of coursethe book is complete tosh.
(CLEARS THROAT) He died in the prison hospital before we got onto his first murder, so I had to make the rest up.
Isn't it about time you wrote a proper book, David? Yes, and that's exactly what I plan to do.
AndI've had an idea.
Clever you.
How marvellous it must be to have an idea.
I am going to write a book about us.
About us? Us.
I mean, look what happened to our old gang.
Cabinet ministers, artists, film stars masters of the universe! Look at Jack Filby.
It didn't quite happen for all of us, David.
Aw, you were a trailblazer, Will.
The gallery, the magazine, the record label.
Which all went bust.
David's right, Dad.
You had the ideas, you just didn't have the luck.
Exactly, Freddy.
Anyway, that's my idea.
An in-depth portrait of a generation that changed the way we live.
And I am going to pitch it at Jack tonight.
He's bought up all these publishers, hasn't he? Jack may not be too keen on having the past raked up.
He's a public figure now, David.
Oh, don't worry.
I won't tread on any toes.
And anyway, Jack's always been a bit of a maverick at heart.
I've got a good feeling about this.
This is the one that's going to turn things around for me.
Welllet's hope so, David.
TALLIS: No, don't be greedy.
DOCTOR GORING: Got a brace of partridge in Curate's Wood this morning, Jack.
Murderer.
What was that, dear? Nothing.
Laid my hands on a Picasso etching you may be interested in, Will.
From the Vollard suite.
Ah, sorry, Hugo.
Totally broke, 'comme toujours.
' Erm How lovely it is to be here, surrounded by one's oldest and most trusted friends.
Freddy's birthday has become .
.
a bit of a ritual, a chance for us all to get together, but there is a special reason to celebrate tonight.
As you know, Freddy has been working for me for three years now andhe's a credit to William and Isobel.
No, no, I have to say this You two did a fantastic job in bringing that young man up.
(CLEARS THROAT) Hear, hear! Hear, hear! Happy birthday, Freddy.
ALL: Happy birthday, Freddy! And sofrom Monday I am giving him a seat on the board.
(APPLAUSE) ALL: # For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fel-low Andand so say all of us! (APPLAUSE) Martha.
Martha You're drunk, get out.
With pleasure.
And put some clothes on.
(GLASS TINGS) Er, I just wanted to thank everyone for coming and to thank Jack for this lovely party and the terrific opportunity that he's given me.
I think that everyone here has experienced his incredible kindness at one time or another.
I certainly have and so have Mum and Dad.
So once again, thank you, Jack.
ALL: Thank you, Jack! That's quite enough of the mutual back-slapping.
I'm just going to say goodnight to the horses, Daddy.
Umcoffee in the billiard room.
Cigars in the smoking room.
Come on, come on That girl's off her rocker if you ask me.
So's the other one.
Not surprising in the 'circs'.
Keep it down, Hugo.
Hello, Sid HUGO: You can break, Freddy.
OK.
Watch out.
WILLIAM: Good shot.
Think I've set you up, Hugo.
Thank you.
Can I have a word, Jack? If you must.
I don't drink.
Shame.
You were rather fond of brandy, weren't you? (LAUGHS) Not anymore.
Absolutely not! I invite you here, despite what happened last year - Listen, Jack - Shut up! Rupert, that'll be all! Of course, I'll be completely discreet.
Don't believe you.
The only reason to write a book like that is salacious gossip and innuendo.
No! No, Jack, this is the portrait of a generation! Oh, nonsense! You are a muck-raking hack, David.
I want nothing to do with it, end of discussion.
It's a great idea, Jack! It is pure - (INDISTINCT) JACK: It is a terrible idea and it is not going to happen! Now, leave! All right.
I will take it somewhere else, then.
(LAUGHS) Even better.
I won't have to be so discreet then, will I? Out.
Now.
That's all you really wanted, wasn't it? A drink.
Here, take the bottle! Ah! Out.
Hey, look! Look! Crumbs from the rich man's table! Well, that's the only reason we're all here, isn't it? Eh? Uptight bourgeois parasites! Snouts in the trough! Guzzle, guzzle, guzzle! I despise all of you.
Despise you! David Vive la revolution! David, please! Stay where you are.
We have all done quite enough looking after David.
It's time for it to stop.
The people's flat is deepest red It shrouded oft our martyr'd dead And ere their limbs were stiff and cold Their hearts' blood dyed its every fold They raise the scarlet standard high Beneath its shade we'll live and die Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer We'll keep the red flag flying here Guzzle, guzzle, guzzle Guzzleguzzle (DRUNKEN LAUGHING) (HOWLS LIKE A WOLF) BOTH: Oh, David What is it? It's only David.
Oh, no Come on, let's get you up.
FREDDY: What happened? Let's get him up.
That's it.
Careful, he's going to hit his head.
DAVID: I know what you did What's going on? What's that frightful racket? It's only David.
Go back to bed, Elizabeth.
I know what you did Ssh, ssh What's he on about? Nothing, he's just drunk.
Go tell your grandmother it's all right.
We'll get him to bed.
Won't be for the first time either.
What Public confidence, Barnaby.
We stand or fall by it.
Milk? Thank you, Missus Lovell.
Yes, sir, I agree.
And if it ever became public knowledge that The Creeper had successfully burgled the Chief Constable's house - There's no need to spell it out, Barnaby.
And I do wish that people would stop using that ridiculous name.
Perhaps, sir, we could help public confidence by calling him something else? So, jewellery and cash missing? And a photograph of Dick receiving the Onslow medal - Nevermind the photograph.
And there'sno sign of forced entry, sir? None.
And the alarm system was deactivated, God knows how.
I'll show you.
Nobody knows the code except me.
Sir? Mm? Thisbox Was it damaged like this when you last looked at it? Certainly not.
Those are the Christmas decorations.
Well, looks as if the intruder wasin here when you set your alarm, sir.
He would have seen youkey in your code.
Which means that the intruder must have gained access to your house sometime earlier in the day.
Ermwell, I sometimes leave the back door open during the day, ermfor the cat.
He has a phobia, you see.
He won't use the cat flap.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Excuse me The precise details of this break-in should remain strictly 'need-to-know', Barnaby.
Oh, yes.
Yes, sir.
There's been a break-in at Chettham Park.
Looks like The Creeper again.
Chettham Park? Yes, sir.
Only this is slightly different.
Officers attending discovered a body.
BARNABY: What about the wound on his forehead? Happened sometime last night, apparently.
He'd been drinking heavily, according to the Chetthams.
Why don't the Chetthams live up at the big house? Well, they probably rent it out.
Local gossip has it that they're somewhat skint.
So this is skint, is it? JONES: Gentry do things differently, eh? Is there anything else missing apart from Lady Isobel's diamonds? Some cash.
And Roper had a laptop, sir.
It was here when they put him to bed.
Tom? Yeah Have a look at this.
See? Little red dots? Petechiae.
Very good, Tom.
Now, this can happen when death's caused by cardiac arrest, or - Or asphyxiation.
Yeah, but there's no sign of strangulation.
Listen, George.
He comes to sees The Creeper in his room starts to raise the alarm and The Creeper shuts him up.
You think he was suffocated? Lift his head, George.
Mm-hm! He's smothered by the pillow.
Blood from the head woundgets on the pillow but the murderer replaces itthe clean side up.
Evidence.
Be interesting to find out exactly how much alcohol there is in his bloodstream.
Soon as I can, Tom.
Thank you.
(WHISTLES) The cut on his head didn't look at all bad once we cleaned him up.
Andwellnot to mince words .
.
we'd seen him much worse, Inspector.
And when he didn't come downstairs in the morning we assumedhe was sleeping it off.
Where'd he been? We'd all been at the house, Inspector.
It was my birthday yesterday and Jack threw a small party.
Jack? Jack Filby.
He lives at the house.
He owns it.
He owns the estate, he owns this house and he owns us! Please, Grandma Jack's an old friend, Inspector.
Er, my son works for him.
So, you'd all been to a party at Chettham Park House, but David Roper came back here some time after the rest of you? Actuallyhe left the party before us.
I'm afraid he fell off the wagon last night.
He was probably roaming the park for a couple of hours.
So, the burglary took place after you'd put Mister Roper to bed? Yes.
I was still wearing my jewellery when he turned up.
My God you don't thinkhe was murderedby the burglar? In the circumstances I'm afraid we'll have to treat his death assuspicious.
Guess what? We've been burgled, too! Dad's incandescent What happened? David's dead, Tallis.
Dead? But I don'tI don't understand.
I don't understand It's OK, Tall (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) I'm sorry.
Hello? Right.
ErmI saw a couple of copies of this book upstairs.
David's latest.
He was a writer.
Er, it's Jack.
Mister Filby.
He'd very much like to have a word with you, up at the house.
You've been summoned, Inspector.
Better jump to it, like the rest of us.
BARNABY: Very nice of Mister Filby to give a party for you.
Hm.
It's become a, sort of, tradition over the years.
He was at university with Mum and Dad, so I've known him all my life.
What about David Roper? Yes, him too.
Actually, he's my godfather.
Was.
Incredibly nice man.
A little bit difficult at times, but 'Difficult'? Well, when he was, you know, drinking.
Any particular reason he fell off the wagon last night? Not that I know of.
I think he might have had a slight altercation with Jack.
BARNABY: Any idea what about? No, none whatsoever.
You'll have to ask Jack.
JACK: Here's a list of the watches, with the serial numbers.
And a photograph of the etching.
We found a window open on the top floor at the back.
So much for our state-of-the-art security system.
Would you mind showing the er, the sergeant that window? Sure.
This way.
So tell me about David Roper.
Yes, sir.
Erm, police officers investigating the break-in at the Dower House found his body in the guest room.
It appears that he died during the night.
So it finally caught up with him, eh? What's the 'it', sir? Drink, drugs.
Whatever.
You name it, David snorted it, drank it, smoked it.
Sorry, Freddy, it's true.
II know.
Did you have a disagreement with Mister Roper last night? Did I what? I mentioned that you and David had words.
Well, there was a frank exchange of opinions, yes.
I've recently moved into publishing and he came to me with a hare-brained proposal for a book.
Looking for a hand-out, basically.
What kind of book was that? Oh, it was about us, the old movers and shakers, our generation, some nonsense like that.
You turned him down? Yes, I did.
So he grabbed a bottle of my best brandy and flounced off into the night.
LookI've been bailing David out for years now.
Rehab, therapy, endless loans.
Money down the drain.
Last night my patience ran out and Now of course I feel terrible.
Must have got in through that.
No prints anywhere, needless to say.
Hell of a climb, though.
I'll tell you what's interesting.
It's in a blind spot.
Neither of those CCTV cameras covers it.
So, The Creeper had done his homework Looks like it.
Well, we'll need names and addresses of everyone who was at the party last night.
OK, Jones? Yes, sir.
No, I didn't hear them arguing.
I went to say goodnight to the horses, straight after dinner.
Do you do that every night? Of course.
No-one else here worth talking to.
Do you hunt? Me? No.
Or shoot, or fish? Or anything like that? No.
Then I'll show you something.
But you've got to keep it a secret.
Come on, dogs.
(BARKING) I have to keep the dogs out.
Sid drives them mad.
Stay.
This is Sid.
I rescued him from the hunt.
I thought hunting was illegal.
Yeah, right(!) Who else knows about Sid? Only Freddy.
Dad would be really livid.
Does your father hunt? No, he doesn't have time.
Sucks up to them if they're posh, though.
Lets them shoot and fish all over the estate.
Dad loves a bit of posh.
Like the Chetthams? Oh, he's known them forever.
You and Freddy Chetthamare you? Oh, God, no.
We couldn't.
I mean, he's my best friend, we grew up together.
So, no, no way.
Hello, Sid Are you hungry? Are you? MARTHA: What do you want? What are you doing? Keep your hands off me (LAUGHING) I'm afraid I'm er, lost.
Me too.
Metaphorically speaking, of course.
I'm Detective Sergeant - I know who you are.
Sit down.
Did you hear your father arguing with David Roper last night? I heard Dad shouting at him, yes.
It's no big deal, Dad shouts at everybody.
Except Golden Boy, of course.
'Golden Boy'? Adorable Freddy(!) Don't you find him adorable(?) Everyone does, you know.
What about you.
Oh, I absolutely adore him(!) But then I would, wouldn't I? Why? By the way, me and Rupert, there's nothing going on.
I justlove teasing him.
I'm not, ghastly phrase, 'in a relationship.
' Sorry to hear that.
You should be pleased, surely? Did you have anything stolen last night? Why, sergeant, what can you mean(?) Is that a double entendre? The blow to the head could have stunned him momentarily but it certainly didn't kill him.
There are traces of bark, but he probably walked into a tree.
And your suffocation theory is looking a bit shaky, Tom.
Is it? Why? Cos there's no deviation to the nose, there's no bruising or any damage to the mouth or lips.
And you'd expect to find either or both if the victim had been suffocated.
He'd had a lot to drink, George.
A bottle of brandy, at least.
And maybe he was so drunk he couldn't put up a struggle, hence no damage to the face.
When do we get the toxicology report? Tomorrow, or the day after.
Whenever.
Anyway, I'm going to open him up, have a look at his ticker.
Stay and watch the fun.
No, thank you.
I see absolutely no reason why our privacy should be invaded.
It really is none of the police's business.
Or anyone else's.
It's a private arrangement between friends.
I don't knowit just seems wrong! What with the police treating David's death as suspicious - They're just being super cautious because of the damned burglary.
And it has absolutely nothing to do with the family.
Imagine the publicity.
OK, but I'd really rather not lie about it.
Darlingno-one is suggesting you lie.
Discretion, Freddy.
Not lying.
OK.
Discretion it is.
Good boy.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) No more patients this evening, doctor.
Thank you, Missus Painter.
See you tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Night.
(PHONE RINGS) SYLVIA: Dr Goring.
Oh, hello.
All right, but you'd better come up with a jolly good suggestion! You don't seem to understand.
If it ever came out I could be struck off.
No.
Absolutely not.
I simply cannot go on like this! I reckon Roper came this way.
There's cigar ash here and there, plus the odd footprint.
He zig-zagged that-a-way there's signs of a struggle.
There's the empty brandy bottle and a cigar butt here.
Phil? Plus, a dirty great lump of wood.
There.
Blood? I reckon.
So, Roper didn't walk into the tree.
He got whacked over the head.
There's soft ground here, look.
The drag marksgo all the way down to the Dower House.
SoRoper staggers about swigging his brandy, gets bashed over the head.
And some good samaritan hauls him off down to the Dower House.
But who, eh? Someone who followed him from the big house? Maybe Roper bumped into The Creeper.
He's full of brandy, he's feeling brave, so he has a go.
The Creeper grabs a handy logbosh! I don't think The Creeper is the boshing type, Jones.
(MOBILE RINGS) Jones.
Oh Right.
OK.
Yeah, thanks.
There's been another break-in, sir.
Hm? Dr Sylvia Goring's surgery in Midsomer Market.
That name rings a bell.
She was one of the guests at the dinner.
Oh, yes, yes.
You want me to check it out? No, no, I will do that.
You go back over everyone's movements after the birthday do.
See who could have followed Roper out of the house.
Oh, and Jones? Get me a copy of Roper's book.
Golden Geezer or whatever it's called.
Yes, sir.
SYLVIA: No, I didn't hear a thing.
What's missing, Dr Goring? Well, some petty cash, according to Missus Painter.
And my fly rods, would you believe.
Came here looking for drugs no doubt, and made off with my fly rods.
Extraordinary! Do you keep drugs on the premises? Certainly not.
Nothing to interest the average low-life, anyway.
You have a picture missing there.
Good lord.
Hadn't noticed that.
What was it? Oh, just a picture of me and a jolly nice salmon I caught in Scotland, I think.
It was in a rather pretty silver frame.
Must have caught the burglar's eye.
Dr Goring, you were up at Chettham Park House were you not, for Freddy Chettham's birthday party? Yes, the Chetthams are dear friends of mine.
As is Jack Filby.
David Roper? Is he a 'dear friend' of yours? 'An acquaintance', shall we say.
Dr Goring? What is it? I think the intruder's been going through the patient's notes.
What? There they are.
Why would the cat burglar - Oh! Sir William Chettham.
Oh, I had those out this morning.
MISSUS PAINTER: But they were - I needed to refer to them this morning.
You're not suggesting it was this Creeper chappy, are you? Ah, yesThis could be where your intruder got in.
Oh, but that's never unlocked.
Well, it's unlocked now.
Where's the key to this padlock usually kept, Missus Painter? In my desk.
In your desk.
And do you ever leave your desk when there are patients in the waiting room? Wellyes, II suppose so.
Are you suggesting a patient may have taken the keys? But our patients are so respectable! They're all private! Oh good, you found us! Only just.
Talk about off the beaten track! What do you think? It's fantastic! What is it? It's for Sid.
Here, hold this.
I have to get him outside soon.
I'll leave the door open so he can go out and forage, or try to.
Trouble is, he should be with other foxes otherwise he won't develop any social skills.
Yeah, I know how he feels.
I spent all week in meetings about the retail business.
Jack wants to buy this chain of shops.
(SIGHS) Tell him, Freddy.
Tell him you want out.
I can't.
He'd be devastated.
And what about Mum and Dad? What would happen to them? Look at us.
You with your suit, me with my animals.
Poor old Martha, getting off with anything that moves.
It's family, Tals.
We're stuck with it.
Maybe David's dying will change things.
How? I don't know.
Secrets coming out, clearing the air.
That sort of thing.
There's only one secret, isn't there? Even if it came out, would it make things any better? Oh, it's just one of those days.
Right, when are you going to move Sid? Can I help? Course you can.
You're absolutely the only human being I can stand.
You know that, don't you? What's that you're reading? 'The Golden Geezer.
My Story by Harry Godbolt.
' Actually, it was written by this fellow, David Roper.
Is he the one that died at Chettham? The very same.
And now he really is a ghost writer.
Oh, ha ha(!) Can I read it after you? You certainly can.
Well, you can read it now.
Celebrity gangsters, the curse of the age.
Here, I'm not wading through that stuff.
Hm, he's very good looking.
Who? Godbolt? Gosh, yes.
Oh, it's so subjective, that stuff.
Did you lock the back door? Yes Not that locking would make much difference.
I will see to it tomorrow Tom Tom! What? What? What? Do I have to do everything myself?! Come here, you! (GROANS IN PAIN) Joyce? Joyce! Joyce You all right? Yeah.
You all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
He was here, Tom! The Creeper! He was here in our house! Nevermind him, what about you? Oh, my God.
My mother's pearls.
At least lie down! Oh, they're here.
Tom? What's that? That's like the photo in the book.
And that - Oh No, don'tdon't touch it.
Get the tweezers.
Ta.
I think that The Creeper has made his first mistake.
JONES: These were returned to YOU? Yes, they were returned anonymously.
Ah.
"Fake"? What's that about, then? Well, it's obviously a message.
Look, The Creeper must be an insider, mustn't he? He doesn't just know peoples' security setups, he knows their habits, their routines.
And their secrets.
Secrets? There's something linking the Chetthams with Jack Filby.
And it's not just the Old Pals Act.
So The Creeper's what? A tradesman? A servant? What about Rupert, Filby's creepy butler? He's got brown hair.
This looks reddish, though.
Darker at one end.
Dye job, maybe.
It's not gonna be much help unless we can find a match.
Well, it's worth a try, innit? Get it down to the lab.
And THEN, Jones, go to Chettham Park House and get confirmation that this really is Filby's etching.
Right.
What about you? Me, Jones? I am going to ask Doctor Sylvia Goring why she told me that this was the photo of a salmon.
I knew it was yours, Doctor Goring, because the framer has very thoughtfully put your name and address on the back there.
Look.
I had a lot of pictures reframed recently.
I must've lost track.
It's a great party, that.
Yes.
Life was fun then.
(LAUGHTER) Easy when you're young and foolish, Inspector.
Why on earth would someone write 'fake' on that photo, do you think? I really haven't the faintest idea.
Doctor Goring When did you last speak to David Roper? The other day of course, at Freddy's party.
And before that? He came to see me a couple of weeks ago.
May I ask what about? Some book he wanted to write.
I told him I wouldn't have anything to do with it.
Because? People grow up.
People change.
Raking up the past serves no purpose whatsoever.
That's all I have to say.
Yes, that looks like Mister Filby's.
So, the thief returned it, did he? Bet that doesn't happen very often.
Is it a fake? I wouldn't be surprised.
Mister Filby bought it off that old fraud, Hugo Greening.
He was at the birthday do, wasn't he? Oh, yes.
Oh! Well, he's one of the gang.
They turn up when summoned and sing for their supper.
Greening used to have an art gallery.
Very chic.
But it all went pear-shaped.
Was David Roper one of the 'gang'? He'd fallen out of favour.
He was very persona non grata, was David.
Ah.
Why was that? Well, how would I know? I am but a humble lackey.
How discreet.
What a good boy.
It was because of me.
I had a fling with David, you see.
At Freddy's party last year.
It was alcohol-induced and quite extraordinarily unpleasant.
Daddy was furious.
Rupert didn't like it either.
Did you, darling? Roper shouldn't have taken advantage.
'Taken advantage'? Oh, how sweet! (LAUGHS) Is that why you followed him into the park and hit him over the head? Be a man, Rupert.
Confess.
I was just going to rough him up a bit, that's all.
Urgh (GRUNTS) (LAUGHS) 'He was howling at the moon like an idiot.
' (HOWLS) 'So I whacked him over the head with a branch.
' Argh! (FOX BARKS) 'Then Ithought I heard someone.
' 'SoI' 'Ran away.
' My knight in shining armour.
And you didn't see who this someone was? No.
Maybe it was this Creeper bloke.
If I'd have known, I would've gone for him.
Oh, of course you would, darling.
No.
Rupert the butler is definitely not The Creeper.
He hasn't got the bottle.
So, Martha had a fling with Roper? Yeah.
Filby was very angry about it.
I'm not surprised.
I've had that policeman here again.
He knows I'm not telling him everything.
He made me feel like a criminal.
Well, what am I to do? All right.
Curate's Wood at two o'clock.
I could get someone from the Art Fraud Squad to take a look at it, if necessary? I did explain to Jack that the provenance was a mite dubious.
Does that mean it's dodgy? II explained that the plate from which the etching was made may be School of Rembrandt.
It's dodgy.
I do wish you'd stop saying that! And you explained that, did you, to Mister Filby? About the plate? Perhaps not in those words, no.
Look, the main thing is, Jack liked it.
And a couple of grand, quite frankly, is not of much consequence to him.
Whereas Whereas to you Business has been very slow of late, Inspector.
Mister Greening, I am not interested in the provenance of this print.
But I am very interested in finding out exactly what happened to David Roper on the night he died.
Surely there's no mystery about that? The mystery is how he lived as long as he did.
The man's liver must've been cast-iron.
What about the row Roper had with Mister Filby that night? Mm? It was er, over another book that Roper was planning to write, wasn't it? About the good old days.
It may have been.
I really wasn't paying much attention.
David always spread chaos and confusion wherever he went.
Did Roper talk to you about this? We had a brief conversation about it.
I wasn't much help, I'm afraid.
I didn't remember the gangster chap at all.
Even though he came to all your parties? LOTS of people came to our parties.
They were extremely good parties.
Oh, champagne! Who wants champagne? (CAMERA SHUTTER) Sir William Chettham there, he was er your partner in the gallery, wasn't he? Of sorts.
Once the parties were over and the actual work began, Will lost interest.
It took me years to pay off the debts.
Good old Will, of course, fell on his feet.
Ask yourself why a man like Jack Filby never remarried.
Ask yourself how the Chetthams managed to make ends meet.
So Jack Filby and Isobel Chettham were an item.
Hence the word 'fake'.
Is that the dark secret, d'you reckon? I don't know, Jones.
Could be part of it.
'Art Fraud Squad'.
That was good.
Yeah, not bad, hey? (CROWS CAW) Oh, there you are.
There's loads of rabbits in the meadow.
Take a potshot if you want.
Don't play silly beggars, it's loaded.
Looks like she put both barrels to her throat and used the branch to push the triggers.
Practically took her head off.
If she came out here to kill herself why bother shooting a pigeon? Someone could've grabbed the gun off her.
Any signs of a struggle? Not at first glance, no.
Well, maybe she knew them.
Didn't see them as a threat.
Who found her? The gamekeeper.
He heard the gun, guessed it was Doctor Goring, came over to chat.
Apparently Jack Filby let her shoot here whenever she wanted.
And he saw no-one else? No, sir.
Doctor Goring said 'Raking up the past serves no purpose whatsoever'.
She knew something, Jones.
It troubled her immensely.
But she wouldn't talk about.
Maybe it's got nothing to do with the Chetthams.
Or Roper, or Jack Filby.
Who knows what was going on in her mind? WILLIAM: No, it couldn't have been an accident.
Sylvia was a fine shot, and she knew how to handle a gun.
Was the birthday party the last time any of you saw her? Yes.
BARNABY: And how would you describe her state of mind? You're not trying to suggest she took her own life, are you? I came as soon as I heard the news.
Are you all right? Devastated, Jack.
Utterly devastated.
What happened? He thinks that Sylvia took her own life.
That's not exactly what he said, Mummy.
This is an ACCIDENT, surely? The Inspector is determined to see everything that happens on the Chettham estate in the worst possible light.
I wonder why.
No mystery to this one, Tom.
Both barrels of a 12-bore shotgun to the throat at very close range.
Now, there was one thing that gave me pause for thought.
And that was the blood on her hand.
Hers? No.
So she did try and defend herself.
Not so fast, Benjamin.
No, the blood belonged to the pigeon.
I took the liberty of bagging it.
Its neck had been wrung.
So she shoots the pigeon and wings it She puts down the gun to wring its neck The assailant picks up the gun Baboom.
Sounds plausible to me.
By the way, Tom, I've got the toxicology report on that Roper chap.
Good, give us the gist.
Wellthe alcoholic levels are pretty consistent with someone who'd have drunk a bottle of brandy.
And I don't suppose the morphine content was much of a surprise, given his track record.
Morphine? Well, codeine, actually, but codeine metabolizes into morphine in the body.
My guess would be erm prescription pain killer.
How much did he take? Oh, quite a lot.
About er300 milligrams.
Is that enough to kill him? Borderline, but I'd say it could be enough to cause respiratory depression.
Or make it very easy to suffocate.
Yes, but is it enough to make a case, Tom? Yes, thank you, George.
Jones Jones There weren't any drugs found in Roper's effects, were there? No.
Oh.
No, not so much as an aspirin.
Check with the Chetthams.
The old grandmother must be on some sort of medication, for starters.
Won't that be on record at Doctor Goring's? She was the family doctor, wasn't she? MISSUS PAINTER: 'There they are.
' Oh, Sir William Chettham.
Oh, I had those out this morning.
But they were in the - I needed to refer to them this morning.
Excuse me.
I'll check the surgery.
You go and have another look in the guest room at the Dower House.
See if Roper had anything stashed away.
Yes, sir.
(CLATTERING) (SIGHS AND CLEARS THROAT) Hi.
(GASPS) Are you OK? You're supposed to be lying down, Elizabeth.
Ah, there we go.
Come on.
I heard someone moving around.
I thought it was a burglar again.
Come on.
Let's get you back to your room.
Please, let me help.
No, I can manage.
I'm used to it.
Can I just ask something? Does anyone in the house take any sort of prescription painkiller? You take something for your arthritis, don't you? Oh, I take 100 pills a day.
Blood pressure, cholesterol, God knows what.
You'll have to check with Sylvia Goring.
Oh, dear.
Come along.
Come on.
I can't believe it.
Poor Doctor Goring.
Missus Painter, d'you feel up to answering a couple of questions? Oh, yes.
Of course.
She would be appalled to see me blubbing.
Now, when did you last see Doctor Goring? After surgery this morning.
And how did she seem? A bit on edge, to be honest.
Missus Painter, did you ever meet David Roper? He was a friend of hers, I think.
Yes.
I didn't care for him at all.
He turned up unannounced a couple of weeks ago, but Sylvia sent him packing.
So what time did the surgery close today? The last patient left at 12:30.
And then Doctor Goringwent out? Yes.
No! No, not quite.
She did some shredding first.
Shredding? Yes.
She bought one of those machines last week.
Nothing in the guest bedroom, sir.
But the old girl, Elizabeth? She's on God knows what.
Beta blockers, statins, you name it.
Very off-hand when I mentioned the painkillers.
Any joy at the surgery? Depends what you mean, Jones.
Doctor Goring destroyed all the Chettham family records, apart from this.
Take a look.
"Victoria and Albert Clinic.
" So? Happily for us, that clinic still exists.
And they very kindly sent me this.
Wow Well, that explains a lot.
Doesn't it just? Roper must have found out somehow or other and threatened to write about it.
Blackmail.
What now? I think .
.
the less time they have to cover their tracks, the better.
(PHONE RINGS) Hello? 'Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.
' Inspector, good afternoon.
'Sir WilliamThere's something I'd very much like to talk to you about.
Something of a personal' .
.
nature.
Very personal.
He knows.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Hello, Freddy.
We've come to see your father.
I know.
He's up at the house.
I'm to take you there.
Everybody's waiting.
Everybody? FILBY: Well, let's get on with it, then.
What I have to say concerns Sir William, and I'd much rather discuss that with him in private.
Let me put you out of your misery, Inspector.
In the wake of poor Sylvia Goring's death, you've unearthed something in my medical records.
Something that has piqued your curiosity.
Grubbing around in other people's affairs.
Despicable.
Quiet, Elizabeth.
Am I on the right track? Yes, you are.
And that something is the fact that I am unable to father children, yes? Yes.
"Shooting at blanks", don't they say? I believe they do, yes.
We found out soon after Isobel and I were married.
That I would be unable to produce a son and heir.
It was a terrible blow, Inspector.
Yes, it must have been.
And it begs a very large question.
Yes, indeed.
Who, then, is Freddy's father? Well, legally, of course, I am.
And biologically? Yes, I am.
I'm very proud to say.
ISOBEL: It was an arrangement between friends, Inspector.
A PRIVATE arrangement.
Well, I'm off.
Stay where you are, Tallis.
I thought there was going to be some amazing revelation.
This is ancient history.
WILLIAM: All the children know, Inspector.
Come on, girls.
They were told as soon as they were old enough to understand.
You may find this hard to believe, Barnaby, but it's a situation that's turned out very happily for all concerned.
Yes.
We're all deliriously happy.
Thank you, Martha, that's enough.
But you weren't very happy when David Roper found out, were you? Did he threaten to write about it in his book? David always knew, Inspector.
He could've written about it any time in the past 25 years.
Unfortunately he's not around to confirm that, is he? Well, ask Hugo Greening.
Er, our dearest and closest friends have always known.
It's my name on Freddy's birth certificate.
When I die, he will become the 13th baronet.
And by then I'm sure he'll be well on his way to re-establishing the Chettham family fortunes.
I'll do my best, Dad.
'Dad'.
You see, Inspector, that is the reality of the situation.
ELIZABETH: The Inspector's looking disappointed.
He was hoping to bring Chettham Park tumbling down round our ears.
I was hoping to find out the truth.
That is all, Lady Chettham.
THAT is Lady Chettham, Inspector.
The wife of the 12th baronet.
As the widow of the 11th baronet, the proper form in my case is 'My Lady'.
And the correct form in MY case is 'Detective Chief Inspector', 'My Lady'.
So this boy Freddy can still inherit the title? Yep.
Yes, he can.
When Sir William Chettham dies .
.
it goes to some committee or other in the Lord Chancellor's office, and if all the paperwork's in order, nobody rocks the boat Maybe that's what Roper threatened to do.
You said he was broke.
Erm, there's something more to it than that, Joyce.
When I confronted them, they were all there, about Sir William's infertility .
.
there was an air of immense relief in the room.
Hm.
How's 'The Golden Geezer' then, 'ey? It's rubbish.
And the most ludicrous bit features your Chief Constable.
Lovell? What's he doing in it? Well, he caught Harry Godbolt.
That's what he got the Onslow medal for.
Didn't you know? I must have forgotten.
I wonder if he was at that party.
I'm not understanding you here, Joyce.
Why would Lovell be at the party? Well, he was at university with the Chetthams and that lot, wasn't he? He was? Mm.
You don't know very much about your beloved leader, do you? Well, obviously not.
Joyce How would you describeIsobel's expression in the photo there, hm? Adoring.
Adoring Yes.
That would be the word.
The report on Godbolt's arrest tallies with the book.
I was surprised, actually.
Why were you surprised? Harry Godbolt's on the run with an army of minders, and Chief Constable Lovell wanders into a West End hotel room, 'on a hunch', and there's the most feared gangster in the land, fast asleep and on his tod.
And what is your deduction, Detective Stephens? Well, somebody must have tipped Mister Lovell off.
But who'd tip off a PC who'd only been in the job six months? Yeah.
Who indeed? Oh, I almost forgot.
Forensic report for you, sir.
Ah! Did they run a DNA match? Very droll, sir.
It's the way you tell 'em.
Listen, erm, I've had a thought about Roper's computer.
Did you.
What about it? The bag and the power lead were still on the floor when we were called to the Dower House.
Yeah, so? The bag's in the evidence room with the rest of his stuff, but the mains lead is nowhere to be found.
You think someone at the Dower House snaffled it? Well, The Creeper's never nicked anything like that before, has he? If one of the Chetthams did take the laptop It might still be at the Dower House.
Let's get a search warrant, shake the tree and see what falls out.
Yes, sir.
Oh, what was that about DNA match? Oh, yes.
The hair.
Anything? No.
No.
Nothing.
Thanks for this.
It's much appreciated.
Tallis likes you.
That's good enough for me.
Despite what happened yesterday? It had to come out sooner or later.
I'm glad it has.
It must be veryhard for you, Freddy.
Sometimes I Sometimes you what? Oh, nothing.
Here we are.
OK.
Give us a couple of minutes.
(HORSE SNORTS) Hiya! Hey.
How's Sid? Lonely.
Hm.
And how are you, Tallis? Me? Worried about Freddy.
So many people to please.
It's bad enough having one dad, nevermind two.
Yesterday, up at the Hall, you seemed a little disappointed.
Did I? Yes, you did.
As if you were expecting to hear something else from me.
Deoxyribonucleic acid.
DNA.
It's wonderful stuff, that.
Is it? Yes, it is.
It's amazing how much information you can glean from the tiniest particle.
Like a hair.
It's all you need to single out one person from millions of others.
Or one animal.
An animal? Like a fox.
Tallis The Creeper kindly delivered a picture to my house.
And there was a tiny hair caught in the frame.
I think the picture was a message.
What about? About something that happened Maybe The Creeper was in someone's house one night and overheard something.
Like a weird phone conversation.
DOCTOR GORING: You don't understand.
If it came out, I could be struck off.
FEMALE VOICE: 'For the sake of the family -' No.
'Sylvia -' Absolutely not.
I simply cannot go on like this.
Oh, I see.
So, you think The Creeper was hoping that I would discover the truth? And have you? I'm not sure.
What are you going to do about The Creeper? Don't know.
I can't go to the Crown Prosecution Service and say that my chief suspect is a fox, can I? I suppose not.
No.
If I could be sure that The Creeper was going to stop creeping and the stolen property returned in good order to the police That would be a start.
I bet The Creeper would be very interested to hear that.
David was alivethat night.
'After Rupert knocked him out.
I know he was.
' He was alive when I took him back to the Dower House.
And later too, when he was in bed.
'I checked.
' 'He was still breathing.
' I should've tried to do more for him.
It wasn't your fault, Tallis.
Pleasant walk, sir? Very pleasant indeed, thank you, Jones.
Right.
Let's go and stir up the Chetthams.
I'm afraid it's gonna have to wait.
Why? The Chief Constable wants to see you.
Oh, he does, does he? Good.
Good? Mm-hm.
Barnaby.
I want a progress report on the er The Creeper, Sir.
The housebreaking epidemic which is making a nonsense of my targets.
Sir, there have been two suspicious deaths.
I'm aware of that.
And one of 'em was David Roper.
The author of this book.
I'm assuming that er, David Roper consulted you when he was writing this book, because after all, it was you that finally brought Harry Godbolt to justice, wasn't it? We may have had a telephone conversation, yes.
But then you probably already knew David Roper, because you were at university with him, were you not? Was I? Along with Jack Filby, the Chetthams, andDoctor Sylvia Goring.
Barnaby, what are you driving at? I'm trying to clarify the situation before I write my report.
You know how people jump to conclusions.
Make connections that do not exist.
That crowd were out of my league at university, Barnaby.
I didn't really know any of them.
Except Isobel.
Extraordinary woman.
Yeah, I admit I was an admirer.
I didn't stand a chance, of course.
But we became friends, of sorts.
And she trusted me.
So.
I'd only been on the beat for six months when she got in touch.
She was in a terrible state.
What, because of erm? I didn't ask what the circumstances were, Barnaby.
Godbolt had been on the run for months.
She told me where I could find him.
Alone and unguarded.
What could I do? Here was a great opportunity.
To make your name.
To put away a dangerous criminal, Barnaby.
Oh, yes, sir.
Of course.
I'm sorry.
I saw no reason why her name should be mentioned.
And I still don't.
Oh.
Barnaby.
It's you.
Sir William, I'm so sorry to bother you again.
Yes, I'm sure you are.
David's laptop? Mm-hm.
I thought the burglar took it.
Well, we're not sure now.
We think Mister Roper might've tucked it away somewhere for safety.
Here at the Dower House? Yes.
Now, I know you wouldn't mind me er having a look around, but I've got a search warrant here anyway.
We have to do everything by the book these days.
Grubbing around in other people's affairs.
And when would you want to do this, Inspector? Now, if that would be convenient.
You never give up, do you? No, it's irritating, isn't it? My Lady.
(PHONE RINGS) Oh! I'm so sorry.
Excuse me.
Barnaby.
Yes.
Yeah, well, of course.
Right away.
I'm very sorry er, but something erm, seems to have come up.
Now, look, it's er, it's getting late.
How about if I send a team round tomorrow? We'll give it a couple of hours.
(CROWS CAW) Someone's on the move, someone's on the move.
(ENGINE STARTS) (SIRENS) You drove me off the road! I shall make a complaint.
Of course you will, Lady Chettham.
As soon as we've looked inside.
You step out of the car, please.
Freddy was born 25 years ago.
DNA testingto establish the biological parents of a child wasn't generally available then.
We've told you the situation regarding Freddy.
What's DNA testing to do with it? I need my pills.
Sergeant Jones will be down with THEM shortly.
Why all the interest in Elizabeth's medication, may I ask? David Roper took a lot of painkillers the night he died.
We just want to establish where he got 'em from.
You still haven't answered my question about DNA testing, Inspector.
Well, maybeLady Chettham could.
I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
And then maybe you could er, tell your husband about your part in the arrest of Harry Godbolt.
What? I want my pills.
This is intolerable, treating an elderly woman like this.
I'll get them myself.
Sit DOWN, Isobel.
What's this about Harry Godbolt? Sir William, David Roper visited Harry Godbolt regularly in prison when he was ghosting Godbolt's autobiography.
Godbolt was terminally ill.
In the end, he couldn't resist .
.
boasting about his affair .
.
with the beautiful wife of the baronet.
It will all be there, won't it? In the transcripts .
.
on the laptop.
.
.
.
we took from your car.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Ah, Jones.
He didn't know, did he, ever, that it was you who turned him over to the police? But did he know that you were pregnant? Lies.
It's all lies, darling! Jones, what do we have there? We havebeta blockers, anti-coagulants, statins Codeine.
Yes, all right.
I gave David some pills.
He came to my room.
He forced me to hand them over.
He came to your room, did he? Yes, now give them to me.
Even though he was so drunk he could hardly stand? Give them to me! Give her the pills! Shut up, Isobel! If only you'd stayed out of that frightful man's bed! David Roper just had to go, didn't he? Poor David.
It was an act of kindness.
(GRUMBLES) These are your favourites, David.
Lovely, lovely pills.
There, good boy.
Have a nice, long sleep.
Hng? What? What? Hnngh! Argh! (WHISPERS) Help me! Argh! Hrgh! No! Argh! Ugh! Adapt and survive, darling.
(WHISPERS) Adapt and survive.
You and David Roper had a lot in common, didn't you? (SNAP) Yes.
We both knew the painof FAILURE.
And Doctor Goring, was that another combined effort? (GUNSHOT) 'Elizabeth doesn't have the strength to lift a gun,' nevermind fire it.
There's loads of rabbits in the meadow.
Take a (QUIETLY) Get ON with it, woman! Don't play silly beggars, it's loaded.
Squeeze, don't pull Though I would have done it.
Gladly.
For the sake of the family.
Is it true? Harry Godbolt is Freddy's father? Yes.
But Jack was a better prospect.
I knew he would provide for Freddy.
I knew he would provide for us.
Because you couldn't.
Weak, weak, weak! The party at the gallery.
I, I thought there was - Mummy! No! What's going on? Mummy, are you all right? That was when I 'I told him I was pregnant.
' It's not mine, sweetheart.
He said he never wanted to see me again.
(BURGLAR ALARM) Oh, God.
Careful, dear.
(ALARM AND DOG BARKING) (HOARSELY) Not now, Rupert.
It's me, Dad.
It's time you got back to work.
Let me help.
Thank you, Martha.
(TWIG SNAPS) Freddy.
Where's Sid? He's gone.
I let him out yesterday and he hasn't come back.
Good old Sid.
You know the weird thing? It never felt right.
Jack was my father.
I never believed it.
I'm very gladthat you're not my sister, Tal.
Me too.
Oh, I never want to see any of them ever again! You needn't.
We could go away.
We could go away today! Now.
This minute! Oh, this THING! I'm suffocating! Argh! Ugh.
I haven't got any money.
Oh, money? Money's easy.
We can always get money.
We can? How? JOYCE: Bold Freddy Chettham.
What a shock.
Yes.
Yes, indeed.
And how did Doctor Goring get roped in? Doctor Goring? Oh, when Freddy was born, they ran some blood tests.
Unfortunately the blood tests prove that Filby couldn't possibly be the father.
So Goring fiddled the results.
Well! That Pretty good job to me.
What about The Creeper? The Creeper, Joyce, well.
The case is still open.
But I have a feeling The Creeper won't be bothering us again.
How do you know? Instinct, Joyce.
Instinct.
(FOX CRIES)
Out you go! (BEEPS) Did you put the alarm on? Of course I did.
Did you check the back door? Yes.
Darling while you're up, I think I left my water on the dressing table.
Thank you, darling.
Don't I get a goodnight kiss? Mmcome back to bed! What are you talking about? I am in bed! (SCREAMS) Go on, go on! (CAR ALARM) Go on! Er, next, Freddy's birthday.
We'll have drinks in the Yellow Room before dinner.
Tell Missus Cox beef, our beef, as bloody as she likes.
What about Tallis? You know she doesn't eat meat.
Well, she can eat vegetables then, can't she? I want Freddy on my right, Isobel on my left, the girls as far away from me as possible and the rest, I leave up to you.
Race you to the Dower House! Don't you dare.
Wuss! If she wants to break her leg that's her business.
Go away, Rupert.
I'm not in the mood for you today.
I'll give you a back massage.
No.
Get off my bed, you're a servant.
It's not appropriate.
I love you too (!) Be gone! Happy birthday, Freddy! Happy birthday, Freddy! Hop in, meeting at 10:00.
See you at dinner, Isobel.
Jack? Can I ask a favour? Anything for you.
David Roper is staying for a couple of days.
Can we bring him this evening? Oh, God Well, he is Freddy's godfather.
And you know what happened last year.
Yes, and David was mortified.
He hasn't had a drink since.
I'll believe that when I see it.
Go on, then.
Bring him if you must.
Oh, thanks, Jack.
Really.
Tallis! Get that animal out of the way! Bye, Daddy.
Morning.
I'll never get used to that man careering up and down our drive.
Well, it's his drive now, Mummy.
Have some breakfast.
You're the twelfth baronet, Will, and the first not to live at Chettham Park House.
'Adapt and survive', that's the name of the game.
Say what you like, that man turned us out of our home.
Saved our bacon, more like.
Jack's been a very good friend to us.
I'm sorry, darling.
I had such a beastly night Every joint in my body was on fire.
Get me my pills, will you? David Roper's coming to stay.
That should cheer you up.
How lovely! David will buck things up around here.
Mm.
Not too much, I hope.
It wouldn't keep a child out, nevermind The Creeper.
Joyce, I have told you, The Creeper goes for big houses in the country, stuffed with jewellery and antiques.
Not semi's in Causton with a couple of tacky prints.
He creeps into people's bedrooms, Tom.
When they're asleep.
(DOOR BELL) See? It's perfect Hi.
Morning.
It's absolutely fineoh Address your remarks to that young man.
He's supposed to be investigating The Creeper.
Missus Barnaby would like to know why you haven't caught him yet? Well, she's not the only one.
What's happened? The Chief Constable's been done.
By The Creeper? Looks like it.
I've just come from his house, it's like Fort Knox.
Oh, dear.
Tom! It's not funny.
No, it's not.
He's got forensics all over the place like a rash.
Everyone's sworn to secrecy, of course.
You can imagine how paranoid he is about security.
Yes, I can.
You're gonna love the next bit.
There's more? The Chief Constable wants to see you first thing tomorrow morning.
Me? Apparently the case requires 'the delicate touch of an experienced senior officer.
' Now, that is funny.
ISOBEL: David, you look marvellous! Doesn't he look marvellous! Positively glowing! Well, my body is a temple these days.
Somewhat battered (YELLS IN EXCITEMENT) Freddy! Happy birthday! How's capitalism? Jack made you rich yet? Well, you know YeahOh! Oh, the Lady Elizabeth! Thank God you're here, David.
Now we'll have some fun.
I'm as dull as ditchwater these days.
I doubt that very much! Talking of which, isn't it time we had a drink? I'm gasping.
Mineral water, you idiots.
Come on! Here you are, you lucky people.
Advance copies, personally inscribed by the real author, ie, me.
So this is THE Harry Godbolt book then, is it? I've ghosted pop stars, footballers, but gangsters are the vainest of the lot, believe me.
Bit of a coup getting this, wasn't it? Godbolt remembered me from the old days.
'The old days'? Used to gatecrash all our parties at the gallery.
Ghastly man.
Oh, it was chic then! To have a tame gangster in tow.
Oh, there's a great photo! (HUMS) Here.
Taken at the opening night party.
(LAUGHTER) PHOTOGRAPHER: Thank you.
OK, one more.
This way, this way, darling.
One more photo.
Lovely Isn't that like the one in your bedroom? Yes.
Minus Godbolt, thank God.
(LAUGHS) Probably rushed off to rob a bank.
Of coursethe book is complete tosh.
(CLEARS THROAT) He died in the prison hospital before we got onto his first murder, so I had to make the rest up.
Isn't it about time you wrote a proper book, David? Yes, and that's exactly what I plan to do.
AndI've had an idea.
Clever you.
How marvellous it must be to have an idea.
I am going to write a book about us.
About us? Us.
I mean, look what happened to our old gang.
Cabinet ministers, artists, film stars masters of the universe! Look at Jack Filby.
It didn't quite happen for all of us, David.
Aw, you were a trailblazer, Will.
The gallery, the magazine, the record label.
Which all went bust.
David's right, Dad.
You had the ideas, you just didn't have the luck.
Exactly, Freddy.
Anyway, that's my idea.
An in-depth portrait of a generation that changed the way we live.
And I am going to pitch it at Jack tonight.
He's bought up all these publishers, hasn't he? Jack may not be too keen on having the past raked up.
He's a public figure now, David.
Oh, don't worry.
I won't tread on any toes.
And anyway, Jack's always been a bit of a maverick at heart.
I've got a good feeling about this.
This is the one that's going to turn things around for me.
Welllet's hope so, David.
TALLIS: No, don't be greedy.
DOCTOR GORING: Got a brace of partridge in Curate's Wood this morning, Jack.
Murderer.
What was that, dear? Nothing.
Laid my hands on a Picasso etching you may be interested in, Will.
From the Vollard suite.
Ah, sorry, Hugo.
Totally broke, 'comme toujours.
' Erm How lovely it is to be here, surrounded by one's oldest and most trusted friends.
Freddy's birthday has become .
.
a bit of a ritual, a chance for us all to get together, but there is a special reason to celebrate tonight.
As you know, Freddy has been working for me for three years now andhe's a credit to William and Isobel.
No, no, I have to say this You two did a fantastic job in bringing that young man up.
(CLEARS THROAT) Hear, hear! Hear, hear! Happy birthday, Freddy.
ALL: Happy birthday, Freddy! And sofrom Monday I am giving him a seat on the board.
(APPLAUSE) ALL: # For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fel-low Andand so say all of us! (APPLAUSE) Martha.
Martha You're drunk, get out.
With pleasure.
And put some clothes on.
(GLASS TINGS) Er, I just wanted to thank everyone for coming and to thank Jack for this lovely party and the terrific opportunity that he's given me.
I think that everyone here has experienced his incredible kindness at one time or another.
I certainly have and so have Mum and Dad.
So once again, thank you, Jack.
ALL: Thank you, Jack! That's quite enough of the mutual back-slapping.
I'm just going to say goodnight to the horses, Daddy.
Umcoffee in the billiard room.
Cigars in the smoking room.
Come on, come on That girl's off her rocker if you ask me.
So's the other one.
Not surprising in the 'circs'.
Keep it down, Hugo.
Hello, Sid HUGO: You can break, Freddy.
OK.
Watch out.
WILLIAM: Good shot.
Think I've set you up, Hugo.
Thank you.
Can I have a word, Jack? If you must.
I don't drink.
Shame.
You were rather fond of brandy, weren't you? (LAUGHS) Not anymore.
Absolutely not! I invite you here, despite what happened last year - Listen, Jack - Shut up! Rupert, that'll be all! Of course, I'll be completely discreet.
Don't believe you.
The only reason to write a book like that is salacious gossip and innuendo.
No! No, Jack, this is the portrait of a generation! Oh, nonsense! You are a muck-raking hack, David.
I want nothing to do with it, end of discussion.
It's a great idea, Jack! It is pure - (INDISTINCT) JACK: It is a terrible idea and it is not going to happen! Now, leave! All right.
I will take it somewhere else, then.
(LAUGHS) Even better.
I won't have to be so discreet then, will I? Out.
Now.
That's all you really wanted, wasn't it? A drink.
Here, take the bottle! Ah! Out.
Hey, look! Look! Crumbs from the rich man's table! Well, that's the only reason we're all here, isn't it? Eh? Uptight bourgeois parasites! Snouts in the trough! Guzzle, guzzle, guzzle! I despise all of you.
Despise you! David Vive la revolution! David, please! Stay where you are.
We have all done quite enough looking after David.
It's time for it to stop.
The people's flat is deepest red It shrouded oft our martyr'd dead And ere their limbs were stiff and cold Their hearts' blood dyed its every fold They raise the scarlet standard high Beneath its shade we'll live and die Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer We'll keep the red flag flying here Guzzle, guzzle, guzzle Guzzleguzzle (DRUNKEN LAUGHING) (HOWLS LIKE A WOLF) BOTH: Oh, David What is it? It's only David.
Oh, no Come on, let's get you up.
FREDDY: What happened? Let's get him up.
That's it.
Careful, he's going to hit his head.
DAVID: I know what you did What's going on? What's that frightful racket? It's only David.
Go back to bed, Elizabeth.
I know what you did Ssh, ssh What's he on about? Nothing, he's just drunk.
Go tell your grandmother it's all right.
We'll get him to bed.
Won't be for the first time either.
What Public confidence, Barnaby.
We stand or fall by it.
Milk? Thank you, Missus Lovell.
Yes, sir, I agree.
And if it ever became public knowledge that The Creeper had successfully burgled the Chief Constable's house - There's no need to spell it out, Barnaby.
And I do wish that people would stop using that ridiculous name.
Perhaps, sir, we could help public confidence by calling him something else? So, jewellery and cash missing? And a photograph of Dick receiving the Onslow medal - Nevermind the photograph.
And there'sno sign of forced entry, sir? None.
And the alarm system was deactivated, God knows how.
I'll show you.
Nobody knows the code except me.
Sir? Mm? Thisbox Was it damaged like this when you last looked at it? Certainly not.
Those are the Christmas decorations.
Well, looks as if the intruder wasin here when you set your alarm, sir.
He would have seen youkey in your code.
Which means that the intruder must have gained access to your house sometime earlier in the day.
Ermwell, I sometimes leave the back door open during the day, ermfor the cat.
He has a phobia, you see.
He won't use the cat flap.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Excuse me The precise details of this break-in should remain strictly 'need-to-know', Barnaby.
Oh, yes.
Yes, sir.
There's been a break-in at Chettham Park.
Looks like The Creeper again.
Chettham Park? Yes, sir.
Only this is slightly different.
Officers attending discovered a body.
BARNABY: What about the wound on his forehead? Happened sometime last night, apparently.
He'd been drinking heavily, according to the Chetthams.
Why don't the Chetthams live up at the big house? Well, they probably rent it out.
Local gossip has it that they're somewhat skint.
So this is skint, is it? JONES: Gentry do things differently, eh? Is there anything else missing apart from Lady Isobel's diamonds? Some cash.
And Roper had a laptop, sir.
It was here when they put him to bed.
Tom? Yeah Have a look at this.
See? Little red dots? Petechiae.
Very good, Tom.
Now, this can happen when death's caused by cardiac arrest, or - Or asphyxiation.
Yeah, but there's no sign of strangulation.
Listen, George.
He comes to sees The Creeper in his room starts to raise the alarm and The Creeper shuts him up.
You think he was suffocated? Lift his head, George.
Mm-hm! He's smothered by the pillow.
Blood from the head woundgets on the pillow but the murderer replaces itthe clean side up.
Evidence.
Be interesting to find out exactly how much alcohol there is in his bloodstream.
Soon as I can, Tom.
Thank you.
(WHISTLES) The cut on his head didn't look at all bad once we cleaned him up.
Andwellnot to mince words .
.
we'd seen him much worse, Inspector.
And when he didn't come downstairs in the morning we assumedhe was sleeping it off.
Where'd he been? We'd all been at the house, Inspector.
It was my birthday yesterday and Jack threw a small party.
Jack? Jack Filby.
He lives at the house.
He owns it.
He owns the estate, he owns this house and he owns us! Please, Grandma Jack's an old friend, Inspector.
Er, my son works for him.
So, you'd all been to a party at Chettham Park House, but David Roper came back here some time after the rest of you? Actuallyhe left the party before us.
I'm afraid he fell off the wagon last night.
He was probably roaming the park for a couple of hours.
So, the burglary took place after you'd put Mister Roper to bed? Yes.
I was still wearing my jewellery when he turned up.
My God you don't thinkhe was murderedby the burglar? In the circumstances I'm afraid we'll have to treat his death assuspicious.
Guess what? We've been burgled, too! Dad's incandescent What happened? David's dead, Tallis.
Dead? But I don'tI don't understand.
I don't understand It's OK, Tall (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) I'm sorry.
Hello? Right.
ErmI saw a couple of copies of this book upstairs.
David's latest.
He was a writer.
Er, it's Jack.
Mister Filby.
He'd very much like to have a word with you, up at the house.
You've been summoned, Inspector.
Better jump to it, like the rest of us.
BARNABY: Very nice of Mister Filby to give a party for you.
Hm.
It's become a, sort of, tradition over the years.
He was at university with Mum and Dad, so I've known him all my life.
What about David Roper? Yes, him too.
Actually, he's my godfather.
Was.
Incredibly nice man.
A little bit difficult at times, but 'Difficult'? Well, when he was, you know, drinking.
Any particular reason he fell off the wagon last night? Not that I know of.
I think he might have had a slight altercation with Jack.
BARNABY: Any idea what about? No, none whatsoever.
You'll have to ask Jack.
JACK: Here's a list of the watches, with the serial numbers.
And a photograph of the etching.
We found a window open on the top floor at the back.
So much for our state-of-the-art security system.
Would you mind showing the er, the sergeant that window? Sure.
This way.
So tell me about David Roper.
Yes, sir.
Erm, police officers investigating the break-in at the Dower House found his body in the guest room.
It appears that he died during the night.
So it finally caught up with him, eh? What's the 'it', sir? Drink, drugs.
Whatever.
You name it, David snorted it, drank it, smoked it.
Sorry, Freddy, it's true.
II know.
Did you have a disagreement with Mister Roper last night? Did I what? I mentioned that you and David had words.
Well, there was a frank exchange of opinions, yes.
I've recently moved into publishing and he came to me with a hare-brained proposal for a book.
Looking for a hand-out, basically.
What kind of book was that? Oh, it was about us, the old movers and shakers, our generation, some nonsense like that.
You turned him down? Yes, I did.
So he grabbed a bottle of my best brandy and flounced off into the night.
LookI've been bailing David out for years now.
Rehab, therapy, endless loans.
Money down the drain.
Last night my patience ran out and Now of course I feel terrible.
Must have got in through that.
No prints anywhere, needless to say.
Hell of a climb, though.
I'll tell you what's interesting.
It's in a blind spot.
Neither of those CCTV cameras covers it.
So, The Creeper had done his homework Looks like it.
Well, we'll need names and addresses of everyone who was at the party last night.
OK, Jones? Yes, sir.
No, I didn't hear them arguing.
I went to say goodnight to the horses, straight after dinner.
Do you do that every night? Of course.
No-one else here worth talking to.
Do you hunt? Me? No.
Or shoot, or fish? Or anything like that? No.
Then I'll show you something.
But you've got to keep it a secret.
Come on, dogs.
(BARKING) I have to keep the dogs out.
Sid drives them mad.
Stay.
This is Sid.
I rescued him from the hunt.
I thought hunting was illegal.
Yeah, right(!) Who else knows about Sid? Only Freddy.
Dad would be really livid.
Does your father hunt? No, he doesn't have time.
Sucks up to them if they're posh, though.
Lets them shoot and fish all over the estate.
Dad loves a bit of posh.
Like the Chetthams? Oh, he's known them forever.
You and Freddy Chetthamare you? Oh, God, no.
We couldn't.
I mean, he's my best friend, we grew up together.
So, no, no way.
Hello, Sid Are you hungry? Are you? MARTHA: What do you want? What are you doing? Keep your hands off me (LAUGHING) I'm afraid I'm er, lost.
Me too.
Metaphorically speaking, of course.
I'm Detective Sergeant - I know who you are.
Sit down.
Did you hear your father arguing with David Roper last night? I heard Dad shouting at him, yes.
It's no big deal, Dad shouts at everybody.
Except Golden Boy, of course.
'Golden Boy'? Adorable Freddy(!) Don't you find him adorable(?) Everyone does, you know.
What about you.
Oh, I absolutely adore him(!) But then I would, wouldn't I? Why? By the way, me and Rupert, there's nothing going on.
I justlove teasing him.
I'm not, ghastly phrase, 'in a relationship.
' Sorry to hear that.
You should be pleased, surely? Did you have anything stolen last night? Why, sergeant, what can you mean(?) Is that a double entendre? The blow to the head could have stunned him momentarily but it certainly didn't kill him.
There are traces of bark, but he probably walked into a tree.
And your suffocation theory is looking a bit shaky, Tom.
Is it? Why? Cos there's no deviation to the nose, there's no bruising or any damage to the mouth or lips.
And you'd expect to find either or both if the victim had been suffocated.
He'd had a lot to drink, George.
A bottle of brandy, at least.
And maybe he was so drunk he couldn't put up a struggle, hence no damage to the face.
When do we get the toxicology report? Tomorrow, or the day after.
Whenever.
Anyway, I'm going to open him up, have a look at his ticker.
Stay and watch the fun.
No, thank you.
I see absolutely no reason why our privacy should be invaded.
It really is none of the police's business.
Or anyone else's.
It's a private arrangement between friends.
I don't knowit just seems wrong! What with the police treating David's death as suspicious - They're just being super cautious because of the damned burglary.
And it has absolutely nothing to do with the family.
Imagine the publicity.
OK, but I'd really rather not lie about it.
Darlingno-one is suggesting you lie.
Discretion, Freddy.
Not lying.
OK.
Discretion it is.
Good boy.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) No more patients this evening, doctor.
Thank you, Missus Painter.
See you tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Night.
(PHONE RINGS) SYLVIA: Dr Goring.
Oh, hello.
All right, but you'd better come up with a jolly good suggestion! You don't seem to understand.
If it ever came out I could be struck off.
No.
Absolutely not.
I simply cannot go on like this! I reckon Roper came this way.
There's cigar ash here and there, plus the odd footprint.
He zig-zagged that-a-way there's signs of a struggle.
There's the empty brandy bottle and a cigar butt here.
Phil? Plus, a dirty great lump of wood.
There.
Blood? I reckon.
So, Roper didn't walk into the tree.
He got whacked over the head.
There's soft ground here, look.
The drag marksgo all the way down to the Dower House.
SoRoper staggers about swigging his brandy, gets bashed over the head.
And some good samaritan hauls him off down to the Dower House.
But who, eh? Someone who followed him from the big house? Maybe Roper bumped into The Creeper.
He's full of brandy, he's feeling brave, so he has a go.
The Creeper grabs a handy logbosh! I don't think The Creeper is the boshing type, Jones.
(MOBILE RINGS) Jones.
Oh Right.
OK.
Yeah, thanks.
There's been another break-in, sir.
Hm? Dr Sylvia Goring's surgery in Midsomer Market.
That name rings a bell.
She was one of the guests at the dinner.
Oh, yes, yes.
You want me to check it out? No, no, I will do that.
You go back over everyone's movements after the birthday do.
See who could have followed Roper out of the house.
Oh, and Jones? Get me a copy of Roper's book.
Golden Geezer or whatever it's called.
Yes, sir.
SYLVIA: No, I didn't hear a thing.
What's missing, Dr Goring? Well, some petty cash, according to Missus Painter.
And my fly rods, would you believe.
Came here looking for drugs no doubt, and made off with my fly rods.
Extraordinary! Do you keep drugs on the premises? Certainly not.
Nothing to interest the average low-life, anyway.
You have a picture missing there.
Good lord.
Hadn't noticed that.
What was it? Oh, just a picture of me and a jolly nice salmon I caught in Scotland, I think.
It was in a rather pretty silver frame.
Must have caught the burglar's eye.
Dr Goring, you were up at Chettham Park House were you not, for Freddy Chettham's birthday party? Yes, the Chetthams are dear friends of mine.
As is Jack Filby.
David Roper? Is he a 'dear friend' of yours? 'An acquaintance', shall we say.
Dr Goring? What is it? I think the intruder's been going through the patient's notes.
What? There they are.
Why would the cat burglar - Oh! Sir William Chettham.
Oh, I had those out this morning.
MISSUS PAINTER: But they were - I needed to refer to them this morning.
You're not suggesting it was this Creeper chappy, are you? Ah, yesThis could be where your intruder got in.
Oh, but that's never unlocked.
Well, it's unlocked now.
Where's the key to this padlock usually kept, Missus Painter? In my desk.
In your desk.
And do you ever leave your desk when there are patients in the waiting room? Wellyes, II suppose so.
Are you suggesting a patient may have taken the keys? But our patients are so respectable! They're all private! Oh good, you found us! Only just.
Talk about off the beaten track! What do you think? It's fantastic! What is it? It's for Sid.
Here, hold this.
I have to get him outside soon.
I'll leave the door open so he can go out and forage, or try to.
Trouble is, he should be with other foxes otherwise he won't develop any social skills.
Yeah, I know how he feels.
I spent all week in meetings about the retail business.
Jack wants to buy this chain of shops.
(SIGHS) Tell him, Freddy.
Tell him you want out.
I can't.
He'd be devastated.
And what about Mum and Dad? What would happen to them? Look at us.
You with your suit, me with my animals.
Poor old Martha, getting off with anything that moves.
It's family, Tals.
We're stuck with it.
Maybe David's dying will change things.
How? I don't know.
Secrets coming out, clearing the air.
That sort of thing.
There's only one secret, isn't there? Even if it came out, would it make things any better? Oh, it's just one of those days.
Right, when are you going to move Sid? Can I help? Course you can.
You're absolutely the only human being I can stand.
You know that, don't you? What's that you're reading? 'The Golden Geezer.
My Story by Harry Godbolt.
' Actually, it was written by this fellow, David Roper.
Is he the one that died at Chettham? The very same.
And now he really is a ghost writer.
Oh, ha ha(!) Can I read it after you? You certainly can.
Well, you can read it now.
Celebrity gangsters, the curse of the age.
Here, I'm not wading through that stuff.
Hm, he's very good looking.
Who? Godbolt? Gosh, yes.
Oh, it's so subjective, that stuff.
Did you lock the back door? Yes Not that locking would make much difference.
I will see to it tomorrow Tom Tom! What? What? What? Do I have to do everything myself?! Come here, you! (GROANS IN PAIN) Joyce? Joyce! Joyce You all right? Yeah.
You all right? Yeah, I'm fine.
He was here, Tom! The Creeper! He was here in our house! Nevermind him, what about you? Oh, my God.
My mother's pearls.
At least lie down! Oh, they're here.
Tom? What's that? That's like the photo in the book.
And that - Oh No, don'tdon't touch it.
Get the tweezers.
Ta.
I think that The Creeper has made his first mistake.
JONES: These were returned to YOU? Yes, they were returned anonymously.
Ah.
"Fake"? What's that about, then? Well, it's obviously a message.
Look, The Creeper must be an insider, mustn't he? He doesn't just know peoples' security setups, he knows their habits, their routines.
And their secrets.
Secrets? There's something linking the Chetthams with Jack Filby.
And it's not just the Old Pals Act.
So The Creeper's what? A tradesman? A servant? What about Rupert, Filby's creepy butler? He's got brown hair.
This looks reddish, though.
Darker at one end.
Dye job, maybe.
It's not gonna be much help unless we can find a match.
Well, it's worth a try, innit? Get it down to the lab.
And THEN, Jones, go to Chettham Park House and get confirmation that this really is Filby's etching.
Right.
What about you? Me, Jones? I am going to ask Doctor Sylvia Goring why she told me that this was the photo of a salmon.
I knew it was yours, Doctor Goring, because the framer has very thoughtfully put your name and address on the back there.
Look.
I had a lot of pictures reframed recently.
I must've lost track.
It's a great party, that.
Yes.
Life was fun then.
(LAUGHTER) Easy when you're young and foolish, Inspector.
Why on earth would someone write 'fake' on that photo, do you think? I really haven't the faintest idea.
Doctor Goring When did you last speak to David Roper? The other day of course, at Freddy's party.
And before that? He came to see me a couple of weeks ago.
May I ask what about? Some book he wanted to write.
I told him I wouldn't have anything to do with it.
Because? People grow up.
People change.
Raking up the past serves no purpose whatsoever.
That's all I have to say.
Yes, that looks like Mister Filby's.
So, the thief returned it, did he? Bet that doesn't happen very often.
Is it a fake? I wouldn't be surprised.
Mister Filby bought it off that old fraud, Hugo Greening.
He was at the birthday do, wasn't he? Oh, yes.
Oh! Well, he's one of the gang.
They turn up when summoned and sing for their supper.
Greening used to have an art gallery.
Very chic.
But it all went pear-shaped.
Was David Roper one of the 'gang'? He'd fallen out of favour.
He was very persona non grata, was David.
Ah.
Why was that? Well, how would I know? I am but a humble lackey.
How discreet.
What a good boy.
It was because of me.
I had a fling with David, you see.
At Freddy's party last year.
It was alcohol-induced and quite extraordinarily unpleasant.
Daddy was furious.
Rupert didn't like it either.
Did you, darling? Roper shouldn't have taken advantage.
'Taken advantage'? Oh, how sweet! (LAUGHS) Is that why you followed him into the park and hit him over the head? Be a man, Rupert.
Confess.
I was just going to rough him up a bit, that's all.
Urgh (GRUNTS) (LAUGHS) 'He was howling at the moon like an idiot.
' (HOWLS) 'So I whacked him over the head with a branch.
' Argh! (FOX BARKS) 'Then Ithought I heard someone.
' 'SoI' 'Ran away.
' My knight in shining armour.
And you didn't see who this someone was? No.
Maybe it was this Creeper bloke.
If I'd have known, I would've gone for him.
Oh, of course you would, darling.
No.
Rupert the butler is definitely not The Creeper.
He hasn't got the bottle.
So, Martha had a fling with Roper? Yeah.
Filby was very angry about it.
I'm not surprised.
I've had that policeman here again.
He knows I'm not telling him everything.
He made me feel like a criminal.
Well, what am I to do? All right.
Curate's Wood at two o'clock.
I could get someone from the Art Fraud Squad to take a look at it, if necessary? I did explain to Jack that the provenance was a mite dubious.
Does that mean it's dodgy? II explained that the plate from which the etching was made may be School of Rembrandt.
It's dodgy.
I do wish you'd stop saying that! And you explained that, did you, to Mister Filby? About the plate? Perhaps not in those words, no.
Look, the main thing is, Jack liked it.
And a couple of grand, quite frankly, is not of much consequence to him.
Whereas Whereas to you Business has been very slow of late, Inspector.
Mister Greening, I am not interested in the provenance of this print.
But I am very interested in finding out exactly what happened to David Roper on the night he died.
Surely there's no mystery about that? The mystery is how he lived as long as he did.
The man's liver must've been cast-iron.
What about the row Roper had with Mister Filby that night? Mm? It was er, over another book that Roper was planning to write, wasn't it? About the good old days.
It may have been.
I really wasn't paying much attention.
David always spread chaos and confusion wherever he went.
Did Roper talk to you about this? We had a brief conversation about it.
I wasn't much help, I'm afraid.
I didn't remember the gangster chap at all.
Even though he came to all your parties? LOTS of people came to our parties.
They were extremely good parties.
Oh, champagne! Who wants champagne? (CAMERA SHUTTER) Sir William Chettham there, he was er your partner in the gallery, wasn't he? Of sorts.
Once the parties were over and the actual work began, Will lost interest.
It took me years to pay off the debts.
Good old Will, of course, fell on his feet.
Ask yourself why a man like Jack Filby never remarried.
Ask yourself how the Chetthams managed to make ends meet.
So Jack Filby and Isobel Chettham were an item.
Hence the word 'fake'.
Is that the dark secret, d'you reckon? I don't know, Jones.
Could be part of it.
'Art Fraud Squad'.
That was good.
Yeah, not bad, hey? (CROWS CAW) Oh, there you are.
There's loads of rabbits in the meadow.
Take a potshot if you want.
Don't play silly beggars, it's loaded.
Looks like she put both barrels to her throat and used the branch to push the triggers.
Practically took her head off.
If she came out here to kill herself why bother shooting a pigeon? Someone could've grabbed the gun off her.
Any signs of a struggle? Not at first glance, no.
Well, maybe she knew them.
Didn't see them as a threat.
Who found her? The gamekeeper.
He heard the gun, guessed it was Doctor Goring, came over to chat.
Apparently Jack Filby let her shoot here whenever she wanted.
And he saw no-one else? No, sir.
Doctor Goring said 'Raking up the past serves no purpose whatsoever'.
She knew something, Jones.
It troubled her immensely.
But she wouldn't talk about.
Maybe it's got nothing to do with the Chetthams.
Or Roper, or Jack Filby.
Who knows what was going on in her mind? WILLIAM: No, it couldn't have been an accident.
Sylvia was a fine shot, and she knew how to handle a gun.
Was the birthday party the last time any of you saw her? Yes.
BARNABY: And how would you describe her state of mind? You're not trying to suggest she took her own life, are you? I came as soon as I heard the news.
Are you all right? Devastated, Jack.
Utterly devastated.
What happened? He thinks that Sylvia took her own life.
That's not exactly what he said, Mummy.
This is an ACCIDENT, surely? The Inspector is determined to see everything that happens on the Chettham estate in the worst possible light.
I wonder why.
No mystery to this one, Tom.
Both barrels of a 12-bore shotgun to the throat at very close range.
Now, there was one thing that gave me pause for thought.
And that was the blood on her hand.
Hers? No.
So she did try and defend herself.
Not so fast, Benjamin.
No, the blood belonged to the pigeon.
I took the liberty of bagging it.
Its neck had been wrung.
So she shoots the pigeon and wings it She puts down the gun to wring its neck The assailant picks up the gun Baboom.
Sounds plausible to me.
By the way, Tom, I've got the toxicology report on that Roper chap.
Good, give us the gist.
Wellthe alcoholic levels are pretty consistent with someone who'd have drunk a bottle of brandy.
And I don't suppose the morphine content was much of a surprise, given his track record.
Morphine? Well, codeine, actually, but codeine metabolizes into morphine in the body.
My guess would be erm prescription pain killer.
How much did he take? Oh, quite a lot.
About er300 milligrams.
Is that enough to kill him? Borderline, but I'd say it could be enough to cause respiratory depression.
Or make it very easy to suffocate.
Yes, but is it enough to make a case, Tom? Yes, thank you, George.
Jones Jones There weren't any drugs found in Roper's effects, were there? No.
Oh.
No, not so much as an aspirin.
Check with the Chetthams.
The old grandmother must be on some sort of medication, for starters.
Won't that be on record at Doctor Goring's? She was the family doctor, wasn't she? MISSUS PAINTER: 'There they are.
' Oh, Sir William Chettham.
Oh, I had those out this morning.
But they were in the - I needed to refer to them this morning.
Excuse me.
I'll check the surgery.
You go and have another look in the guest room at the Dower House.
See if Roper had anything stashed away.
Yes, sir.
(CLATTERING) (SIGHS AND CLEARS THROAT) Hi.
(GASPS) Are you OK? You're supposed to be lying down, Elizabeth.
Ah, there we go.
Come on.
I heard someone moving around.
I thought it was a burglar again.
Come on.
Let's get you back to your room.
Please, let me help.
No, I can manage.
I'm used to it.
Can I just ask something? Does anyone in the house take any sort of prescription painkiller? You take something for your arthritis, don't you? Oh, I take 100 pills a day.
Blood pressure, cholesterol, God knows what.
You'll have to check with Sylvia Goring.
Oh, dear.
Come along.
Come on.
I can't believe it.
Poor Doctor Goring.
Missus Painter, d'you feel up to answering a couple of questions? Oh, yes.
Of course.
She would be appalled to see me blubbing.
Now, when did you last see Doctor Goring? After surgery this morning.
And how did she seem? A bit on edge, to be honest.
Missus Painter, did you ever meet David Roper? He was a friend of hers, I think.
Yes.
I didn't care for him at all.
He turned up unannounced a couple of weeks ago, but Sylvia sent him packing.
So what time did the surgery close today? The last patient left at 12:30.
And then Doctor Goringwent out? Yes.
No! No, not quite.
She did some shredding first.
Shredding? Yes.
She bought one of those machines last week.
Nothing in the guest bedroom, sir.
But the old girl, Elizabeth? She's on God knows what.
Beta blockers, statins, you name it.
Very off-hand when I mentioned the painkillers.
Any joy at the surgery? Depends what you mean, Jones.
Doctor Goring destroyed all the Chettham family records, apart from this.
Take a look.
"Victoria and Albert Clinic.
" So? Happily for us, that clinic still exists.
And they very kindly sent me this.
Wow Well, that explains a lot.
Doesn't it just? Roper must have found out somehow or other and threatened to write about it.
Blackmail.
What now? I think .
.
the less time they have to cover their tracks, the better.
(PHONE RINGS) Hello? 'Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.
' Inspector, good afternoon.
'Sir WilliamThere's something I'd very much like to talk to you about.
Something of a personal' .
.
nature.
Very personal.
He knows.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Hello, Freddy.
We've come to see your father.
I know.
He's up at the house.
I'm to take you there.
Everybody's waiting.
Everybody? FILBY: Well, let's get on with it, then.
What I have to say concerns Sir William, and I'd much rather discuss that with him in private.
Let me put you out of your misery, Inspector.
In the wake of poor Sylvia Goring's death, you've unearthed something in my medical records.
Something that has piqued your curiosity.
Grubbing around in other people's affairs.
Despicable.
Quiet, Elizabeth.
Am I on the right track? Yes, you are.
And that something is the fact that I am unable to father children, yes? Yes.
"Shooting at blanks", don't they say? I believe they do, yes.
We found out soon after Isobel and I were married.
That I would be unable to produce a son and heir.
It was a terrible blow, Inspector.
Yes, it must have been.
And it begs a very large question.
Yes, indeed.
Who, then, is Freddy's father? Well, legally, of course, I am.
And biologically? Yes, I am.
I'm very proud to say.
ISOBEL: It was an arrangement between friends, Inspector.
A PRIVATE arrangement.
Well, I'm off.
Stay where you are, Tallis.
I thought there was going to be some amazing revelation.
This is ancient history.
WILLIAM: All the children know, Inspector.
Come on, girls.
They were told as soon as they were old enough to understand.
You may find this hard to believe, Barnaby, but it's a situation that's turned out very happily for all concerned.
Yes.
We're all deliriously happy.
Thank you, Martha, that's enough.
But you weren't very happy when David Roper found out, were you? Did he threaten to write about it in his book? David always knew, Inspector.
He could've written about it any time in the past 25 years.
Unfortunately he's not around to confirm that, is he? Well, ask Hugo Greening.
Er, our dearest and closest friends have always known.
It's my name on Freddy's birth certificate.
When I die, he will become the 13th baronet.
And by then I'm sure he'll be well on his way to re-establishing the Chettham family fortunes.
I'll do my best, Dad.
'Dad'.
You see, Inspector, that is the reality of the situation.
ELIZABETH: The Inspector's looking disappointed.
He was hoping to bring Chettham Park tumbling down round our ears.
I was hoping to find out the truth.
That is all, Lady Chettham.
THAT is Lady Chettham, Inspector.
The wife of the 12th baronet.
As the widow of the 11th baronet, the proper form in my case is 'My Lady'.
And the correct form in MY case is 'Detective Chief Inspector', 'My Lady'.
So this boy Freddy can still inherit the title? Yep.
Yes, he can.
When Sir William Chettham dies .
.
it goes to some committee or other in the Lord Chancellor's office, and if all the paperwork's in order, nobody rocks the boat Maybe that's what Roper threatened to do.
You said he was broke.
Erm, there's something more to it than that, Joyce.
When I confronted them, they were all there, about Sir William's infertility .
.
there was an air of immense relief in the room.
Hm.
How's 'The Golden Geezer' then, 'ey? It's rubbish.
And the most ludicrous bit features your Chief Constable.
Lovell? What's he doing in it? Well, he caught Harry Godbolt.
That's what he got the Onslow medal for.
Didn't you know? I must have forgotten.
I wonder if he was at that party.
I'm not understanding you here, Joyce.
Why would Lovell be at the party? Well, he was at university with the Chetthams and that lot, wasn't he? He was? Mm.
You don't know very much about your beloved leader, do you? Well, obviously not.
Joyce How would you describeIsobel's expression in the photo there, hm? Adoring.
Adoring Yes.
That would be the word.
The report on Godbolt's arrest tallies with the book.
I was surprised, actually.
Why were you surprised? Harry Godbolt's on the run with an army of minders, and Chief Constable Lovell wanders into a West End hotel room, 'on a hunch', and there's the most feared gangster in the land, fast asleep and on his tod.
And what is your deduction, Detective Stephens? Well, somebody must have tipped Mister Lovell off.
But who'd tip off a PC who'd only been in the job six months? Yeah.
Who indeed? Oh, I almost forgot.
Forensic report for you, sir.
Ah! Did they run a DNA match? Very droll, sir.
It's the way you tell 'em.
Listen, erm, I've had a thought about Roper's computer.
Did you.
What about it? The bag and the power lead were still on the floor when we were called to the Dower House.
Yeah, so? The bag's in the evidence room with the rest of his stuff, but the mains lead is nowhere to be found.
You think someone at the Dower House snaffled it? Well, The Creeper's never nicked anything like that before, has he? If one of the Chetthams did take the laptop It might still be at the Dower House.
Let's get a search warrant, shake the tree and see what falls out.
Yes, sir.
Oh, what was that about DNA match? Oh, yes.
The hair.
Anything? No.
No.
Nothing.
Thanks for this.
It's much appreciated.
Tallis likes you.
That's good enough for me.
Despite what happened yesterday? It had to come out sooner or later.
I'm glad it has.
It must be veryhard for you, Freddy.
Sometimes I Sometimes you what? Oh, nothing.
Here we are.
OK.
Give us a couple of minutes.
(HORSE SNORTS) Hiya! Hey.
How's Sid? Lonely.
Hm.
And how are you, Tallis? Me? Worried about Freddy.
So many people to please.
It's bad enough having one dad, nevermind two.
Yesterday, up at the Hall, you seemed a little disappointed.
Did I? Yes, you did.
As if you were expecting to hear something else from me.
Deoxyribonucleic acid.
DNA.
It's wonderful stuff, that.
Is it? Yes, it is.
It's amazing how much information you can glean from the tiniest particle.
Like a hair.
It's all you need to single out one person from millions of others.
Or one animal.
An animal? Like a fox.
Tallis The Creeper kindly delivered a picture to my house.
And there was a tiny hair caught in the frame.
I think the picture was a message.
What about? About something that happened Maybe The Creeper was in someone's house one night and overheard something.
Like a weird phone conversation.
DOCTOR GORING: You don't understand.
If it came out, I could be struck off.
FEMALE VOICE: 'For the sake of the family -' No.
'Sylvia -' Absolutely not.
I simply cannot go on like this.
Oh, I see.
So, you think The Creeper was hoping that I would discover the truth? And have you? I'm not sure.
What are you going to do about The Creeper? Don't know.
I can't go to the Crown Prosecution Service and say that my chief suspect is a fox, can I? I suppose not.
No.
If I could be sure that The Creeper was going to stop creeping and the stolen property returned in good order to the police That would be a start.
I bet The Creeper would be very interested to hear that.
David was alivethat night.
'After Rupert knocked him out.
I know he was.
' He was alive when I took him back to the Dower House.
And later too, when he was in bed.
'I checked.
' 'He was still breathing.
' I should've tried to do more for him.
It wasn't your fault, Tallis.
Pleasant walk, sir? Very pleasant indeed, thank you, Jones.
Right.
Let's go and stir up the Chetthams.
I'm afraid it's gonna have to wait.
Why? The Chief Constable wants to see you.
Oh, he does, does he? Good.
Good? Mm-hm.
Barnaby.
I want a progress report on the er The Creeper, Sir.
The housebreaking epidemic which is making a nonsense of my targets.
Sir, there have been two suspicious deaths.
I'm aware of that.
And one of 'em was David Roper.
The author of this book.
I'm assuming that er, David Roper consulted you when he was writing this book, because after all, it was you that finally brought Harry Godbolt to justice, wasn't it? We may have had a telephone conversation, yes.
But then you probably already knew David Roper, because you were at university with him, were you not? Was I? Along with Jack Filby, the Chetthams, andDoctor Sylvia Goring.
Barnaby, what are you driving at? I'm trying to clarify the situation before I write my report.
You know how people jump to conclusions.
Make connections that do not exist.
That crowd were out of my league at university, Barnaby.
I didn't really know any of them.
Except Isobel.
Extraordinary woman.
Yeah, I admit I was an admirer.
I didn't stand a chance, of course.
But we became friends, of sorts.
And she trusted me.
So.
I'd only been on the beat for six months when she got in touch.
She was in a terrible state.
What, because of erm? I didn't ask what the circumstances were, Barnaby.
Godbolt had been on the run for months.
She told me where I could find him.
Alone and unguarded.
What could I do? Here was a great opportunity.
To make your name.
To put away a dangerous criminal, Barnaby.
Oh, yes, sir.
Of course.
I'm sorry.
I saw no reason why her name should be mentioned.
And I still don't.
Oh.
Barnaby.
It's you.
Sir William, I'm so sorry to bother you again.
Yes, I'm sure you are.
David's laptop? Mm-hm.
I thought the burglar took it.
Well, we're not sure now.
We think Mister Roper might've tucked it away somewhere for safety.
Here at the Dower House? Yes.
Now, I know you wouldn't mind me er having a look around, but I've got a search warrant here anyway.
We have to do everything by the book these days.
Grubbing around in other people's affairs.
And when would you want to do this, Inspector? Now, if that would be convenient.
You never give up, do you? No, it's irritating, isn't it? My Lady.
(PHONE RINGS) Oh! I'm so sorry.
Excuse me.
Barnaby.
Yes.
Yeah, well, of course.
Right away.
I'm very sorry er, but something erm, seems to have come up.
Now, look, it's er, it's getting late.
How about if I send a team round tomorrow? We'll give it a couple of hours.
(CROWS CAW) Someone's on the move, someone's on the move.
(ENGINE STARTS) (SIRENS) You drove me off the road! I shall make a complaint.
Of course you will, Lady Chettham.
As soon as we've looked inside.
You step out of the car, please.
Freddy was born 25 years ago.
DNA testingto establish the biological parents of a child wasn't generally available then.
We've told you the situation regarding Freddy.
What's DNA testing to do with it? I need my pills.
Sergeant Jones will be down with THEM shortly.
Why all the interest in Elizabeth's medication, may I ask? David Roper took a lot of painkillers the night he died.
We just want to establish where he got 'em from.
You still haven't answered my question about DNA testing, Inspector.
Well, maybeLady Chettham could.
I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
And then maybe you could er, tell your husband about your part in the arrest of Harry Godbolt.
What? I want my pills.
This is intolerable, treating an elderly woman like this.
I'll get them myself.
Sit DOWN, Isobel.
What's this about Harry Godbolt? Sir William, David Roper visited Harry Godbolt regularly in prison when he was ghosting Godbolt's autobiography.
Godbolt was terminally ill.
In the end, he couldn't resist .
.
boasting about his affair .
.
with the beautiful wife of the baronet.
It will all be there, won't it? In the transcripts .
.
on the laptop.
.
.
.
we took from your car.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) Ah, Jones.
He didn't know, did he, ever, that it was you who turned him over to the police? But did he know that you were pregnant? Lies.
It's all lies, darling! Jones, what do we have there? We havebeta blockers, anti-coagulants, statins Codeine.
Yes, all right.
I gave David some pills.
He came to my room.
He forced me to hand them over.
He came to your room, did he? Yes, now give them to me.
Even though he was so drunk he could hardly stand? Give them to me! Give her the pills! Shut up, Isobel! If only you'd stayed out of that frightful man's bed! David Roper just had to go, didn't he? Poor David.
It was an act of kindness.
(GRUMBLES) These are your favourites, David.
Lovely, lovely pills.
There, good boy.
Have a nice, long sleep.
Hng? What? What? Hnngh! Argh! (WHISPERS) Help me! Argh! Hrgh! No! Argh! Ugh! Adapt and survive, darling.
(WHISPERS) Adapt and survive.
You and David Roper had a lot in common, didn't you? (SNAP) Yes.
We both knew the painof FAILURE.
And Doctor Goring, was that another combined effort? (GUNSHOT) 'Elizabeth doesn't have the strength to lift a gun,' nevermind fire it.
There's loads of rabbits in the meadow.
Take a (QUIETLY) Get ON with it, woman! Don't play silly beggars, it's loaded.
Squeeze, don't pull Though I would have done it.
Gladly.
For the sake of the family.
Is it true? Harry Godbolt is Freddy's father? Yes.
But Jack was a better prospect.
I knew he would provide for Freddy.
I knew he would provide for us.
Because you couldn't.
Weak, weak, weak! The party at the gallery.
I, I thought there was - Mummy! No! What's going on? Mummy, are you all right? That was when I 'I told him I was pregnant.
' It's not mine, sweetheart.
He said he never wanted to see me again.
(BURGLAR ALARM) Oh, God.
Careful, dear.
(ALARM AND DOG BARKING) (HOARSELY) Not now, Rupert.
It's me, Dad.
It's time you got back to work.
Let me help.
Thank you, Martha.
(TWIG SNAPS) Freddy.
Where's Sid? He's gone.
I let him out yesterday and he hasn't come back.
Good old Sid.
You know the weird thing? It never felt right.
Jack was my father.
I never believed it.
I'm very gladthat you're not my sister, Tal.
Me too.
Oh, I never want to see any of them ever again! You needn't.
We could go away.
We could go away today! Now.
This minute! Oh, this THING! I'm suffocating! Argh! Ugh.
I haven't got any money.
Oh, money? Money's easy.
We can always get money.
We can? How? JOYCE: Bold Freddy Chettham.
What a shock.
Yes.
Yes, indeed.
And how did Doctor Goring get roped in? Doctor Goring? Oh, when Freddy was born, they ran some blood tests.
Unfortunately the blood tests prove that Filby couldn't possibly be the father.
So Goring fiddled the results.
Well! That Pretty good job to me.
What about The Creeper? The Creeper, Joyce, well.
The case is still open.
But I have a feeling The Creeper won't be bothering us again.
How do you know? Instinct, Joyce.
Instinct.
(FOX CRIES)