Dallas s12e16 Episode Script

Oh, my.
I've died and gone to heaven.
[HAMMER BANGING.]
Oh, J.
R.
J.
R: Hey, April, you better fasten your safety belt.
Today is gonna be full of surprises.
Don't toy with me, J.
R.
You know how I hate suspense.
If we're gonna be in business together you're gonna have to learn a little patience.
Heh.
I'm gonna hang up on the count of three.
My, my.
Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, did you? [CHUCKLES.]
One.
Two.
- We'll both be receiving a present today.
- Oh, yeah? What's that? Copies of some fully executed documents.
The sale of Ewing Oil's Ellis County land? [LAUGHS.]
To our own happy little dummy corporation.
I didn't realize we'd get those papers so quickly.
Maybe we should've thought about this deal more before we closed it.
Oh, why is that? I don't know.
April, once you climb in bed with J.
R.
Ewing you better not have cold feet.
This is the last time I'm gonna let you pick a restaurant.
I wanna just have a real power breakfast, Hollywood style.
And for that, you need the right ambiance.
[SIGHS.]
You ordered for me? I hope it's okay.
I love eggs Benedict.
You must've read my mind.
No.
I read your diaries.
February the 13th, 1982.
After a little spat with J.
R.
, you dumped eggs Benedict into his lap.
Quote, "Best breakfast I ever had," unquote.
[LAUGHS.]
You are getting familiar with the material.
There are a few preliminary scenes I wanted to talk to you about.
- Not yet.
- No? Not until we go on a little field trip this afternoon.
I'd like you to escort me to J.
R.
's wedding.
- You're invited? - Oh, J.
R.
Crossed me off the list.
But I convinced his cute little bride to put me back on it.
Wasn't that difficult? I have my methods.
Now I'm learning that quickly.
I think it's important that you visit Southfork to view the animal in his native habitat.
Won't you, being seen on my arm, start Texas tongues wagging? You've gone to a great deal of trouble to keep your studio and our association quite private.
Don this wedding is a window of opportunity for you.
I want you to climb through it and see the real J.
R.
Ewing in action.
And you wouldn't get the slightest bit of pleasure out of being seen at your ex-husband's wedding with a man by your side? No.
You are getting to know me, aren't you? Besides, nobody ever died from a little gossip.
Mm-mm, no.
ELLIE: I don't like the look of this sky.
- It's got a little bit of green to it.
- It's tornado weather.
If things get much worse, we'll have to bring everything indoors.
Yeah, if our guests don't get blown away first.
Well, well, another Southfork wedding.
How many is this, 12, 13? Oh, come on, it can't be that many.
Can it? If you're inclined to marry Tracey Lawton why don't you propose today? Then we can have a double wedding and save a lot of money.
Just hold on, Clayton.
I'm not that inclined.
Besides, there's not an altar big enough in Texas to hold J.
R.
And me.
Anyhow, it's bad luck to get married at Southfork.
Lucy.
Well, name one marriage that started here and ended up happily ever after.
Well, I think Clayton would say we're very happy.
- I surely would.
- All right, name two.
Lucy, I'm not sure this is the best conversation for right now.
I don't know about y'all, but if I ever get married again l'll be saying my vows at the nearest Moose Lodge.
Much safer.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Well, I'll tell you unless J.
R.
's cut a deal with Mother Nature we're gonna be in for a rough ride today.
I'll check on things outdoors.
[GRUNTING.]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Don't worry, you look great.
- Now, how about getting dressed? - I'm working on it.
Anyway, weddings are dull.
In fact, this whole state of Texas is just slightly south of boring.
I thought you were having fun with April Stevens.
How many dates have you had now? At least three.
Ha, ha, she's a hot lady.
But so far, it's been life in the slow lane.
- Meaning she hasn't slept with you.
- Ugh, yet.
[TOMMY CHUCKLES.]
I was hoping you'd be ready.
Yeah.
I've got this routine I do.
Look, if you don't wanna go In prison, all I could do with my time was work out.
Kind of becomes habit.
Keeps you sane, you know? I'm making a lot of friends around here.
I want them to get to know you.
Hey, I'm gonna be on my best chip-off-the-old-block behavior.
You watch.
Wish I could get him to take a job at Westar.
He needs something to do with all this energy of his.
He's just not the office type.
- He could learn.
- I don't know.
Tracey, that boy has it in him to be someone.
He could turn his life around.
All he needs is, uh, a little help.
You can't make him love you, Dad.
No matter how bad you want it.
I don't know how you could lose something this big.
I hate to say it, but you don't exactly have small feet.
Oh, gee.
Bless me.
You deserve that after making remarks about my feet.
For the want of a shoe, a wedding is lost.
It's under something.
[CHUCKLING.]
Well, There's a lot of somethings in this room.
APRIL: You in a bad mood? - Huh? - No, I'm in a great mood.
- Liar.
It's just that J.
R.
's been acting smug around the office lately and that bothers me.
[CLIFF GRUNTS.]
Could we just not talk about business for one day? It's just that I got a great thing going with Bobby and Ewing Oil.
It's like the first time I've really had a home.
I just know that every move J.
R.
Makes is a plan to get me out of the house.
Aah - I got it.
- My hero.
Thank you.
- Shall we? - Off to the zoo.
Well, Bob, a little wedding-day advice? I'm overwhelmed.
It's not advice really, it's just some thoughts on this auspicious occasion which I'm sure you can't wait to hear.
Ha-ha-ha, go ahead.
I'm glad that you're keeping your word to Cally.
I think it's the right thing to do.
Well, thank you.
I hope you treat her better than you did Sue Ellen.
Anything else? I'm glad that you're getting a chance at a marriage that's worthy of the name.
Well, thank you, Bob.
But, uh, a good-luck handshake would've been quite sufficient.
- I'll see you downstairs.
- All right.
- Hey, buddy.
You look good.
- Thanks.
J.
R: Hi, son.
Dad, I'm nervous.
What if I lose the ring? - Where are you keeping it? - Right here.
Oh, well, that ought to be a safe place.
Now, don't worry, you're gonna do just fine.
I'm also kind of worried about, you know, her.
What, Cally? Even though she says she doesn't wanna take Mom's place, what if she tries? Oh, ha, ha, son, you don't have to worry about that.
Now, you're gonna learn to like her.
I'm working on it.
And who knows? She just might provide you with a little brother.
Oh, golly, wouldn't that be special? Another son of mine right here at Southfork.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
BOBBY: Look who's here.
WOMAN 1: Hello.
BOBBY: Hi.
WOMAN 2: Pass.
- Let's hope it doesn't pour.
CLAYTON: I'm glad you could come.
BOBBY: I'm glad they brought umbrellas.
[WOMEN LAUGH.]
I love weddings, rain or shine.
Just getting a little cold.
There's coffee somewhere.
We made it this morning.
It's over there.
Oh, I just love it when someone makes me coffee.
- Well, Monday morning, it's your turn.
WOMAN 3: See you.
Excuse me.
Some big names here.
I guess it's never out of fashion to pay homage to the Ewing clan.
It must be an experience to marry into this family.
It's hard to imagine.
How's everybody doing? McKAY: Just fine.
- I got our seats.
- We're front-row center.
How's that? - Just fine.
- On one condition.
- Oh, no.
Another condition? I don't wanna be under any obligation to catch the wedding bouquet.
Heh, all right.
You got it.
You know, I love Texas.
It's never boring.
- Are you planning on staying long? - As long as I stay turned on.
And believe me, there's a lot of turn-ons around here.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, that sounds like a line if ever I've heard one.
It's only a line if it doesn't work.
Anyway, uh, I'll be seeing you around.
- I didn't think you'd be here.
- Ha, ha, wouldn't miss it.
Oh, you mean, uh, being with April here, yeah.
It's the biggest show in town.
There's a band setting up over here.
You wanna check them out? - You mind? - No, I don't mind.
But she's my date, you know.
TOMMY: Ha, ha, right.
- Yeah.
Don't forget that, you know.
She's my date.
- Mr.
Ewing? - No, no, no, that's my brother.
- He's right there.
- Oh, okay.
J.
R: Thank you.
MAN: Mr.
Ewing, this is for you.
- Thank you.
- Sure.
LUC Y: Hi.
Oh, hi.
- Dropped.
- You having fun yet? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
- Well, good.
- Makes one of us, ha, ha.
- Yeah.
Good.
Uh-huh.
[WOMEN CHATTERING.]
CALLY: Come in.
LUC Y: Cally.
You look beautiful.
[CALLY SIGHS.]
- Oh, let me see.
- I feel like some fairy-book princess.
Miss Ellie's making it fit real good.
- It's not too tight? - Oh, no.
It's the most perfect thing I've ever worn.
- Think J.
R.
's gonna like it? ELLIE: I'm sure he will.
Golly, I'm so nervous.
- Everything's gonna be fine.
CALLY: Not about the wedding.
I'm just nervous about J.
R.
Really taking to me now that all his friends are gonna see me as his lawful wedded wife.
Well, I'll be around to help you out with J.
R.
There are quite a few secrets to handling a Ewing man.
The most important being: Speak softly, but carry a big cattle prod, heh.
Well, I know one thing, anyways.
It's gonna be real nice having you two for family.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Look who's here.
Well, welcome, Sue Ellen.
Hello, Clayton.
Clayton Farlow, Don Lockwood.
- Pleased to meet you.
DON: Pleasure's mine.
Well, I guess the weatherman was right.
First storm just blew in.
[CHUCKLES.]
Don't worry, J.
R.
, I won't rain on your parade.
Don Lockwood, the one and only J.
R.
Ewing.
Congratulations on your wedding.
I hope you'll be very happy.
Well, thank you.
Can't help but be a vast improvement over my last wife.
Would you all excuse me for a moment? Sue Ellen, what the hell are you doing here? I personally tore up your invitation.
I convinced Cally that John Ross needed my moral support.
You just stay away from Cally.
Don't get so suspicious.
Actually, I'm thrilled that you're getting married.
That kind of comment makes me very nervous.
What's with the Lockwood fella? He's a man with charm, sensitivity and class.
In short, your exact opposite.
That does it, Sue Ellen.
Why don't you ask the parking attendants to fetch your broom, and you can just fly on home? Ooh! Not until I give this little gift to your child bride.
Now, where is that sweet young thing? Now, you just stay away from her, hear? ELLIE: You need something borrowed and this is a necklace that my mother wore at her wedding.
Oh, Miss Ellie.
And something blue.
Here's some sweet william and wisteria.
I guess I'm about the luckiest bride in the whole world.
I couldn't beg for anything better.
Would anyone mind if I came in? I don't wanna interrupt.
Oh, I'm so glad you could be here today, Sue Ellen.
Well, yes, please.
Come in, Sue Ellen.
Thank you.
Have you, uh, done something old, something new yet? Oh, we're right in the middle of it.
Because I wanna give Cally something old.
You've already done that.
You've given her J.
R.
- Lucy, that's not necessary.
- Sorry.
I couldn't help myself.
[GIGGLES.]
Anyway, um, I hope you like it.
You didn't have to do this, Sue Ellen.
Cally, you have earned it.
[CALLY GASPS.]
It's beautiful.
That was the first gift J.
R.
Ever gave me.
Oh, well, I couldn't take this from you.
No, I want you to have it.
Maybe it'll bring you better luck with him than I had.
You see, Cally, J.
R.
Has a good side.
Trouble is, it's buried so deep that you may have to drill for it.
But if you find it, tap into it.
Then your life won't be the living hell that mine turned out to be.
CALLY: Thanks.
Uh Everyone's ready downstairs.
Cally? Are you ready? Yes, ma'am.
[SIGHS.]
Here comes the bride.
Hey.
You're missing all the fun.
Wedding's about to start.
I'm glad you're here.
This is an important room for you to see.
The famous J.
R.
Ewing bedroom.
Next to the Alamo, it's one of the great battlegrounds of Texas.
I wanna re-create this room for the movie.
In every detail.
Every bloodstained little nook and cranny.
A few bad memories coming back? Even some you haven't read in my diaries.
Oh, I've got enough material already for a sequel.
I remember another wedding day.
It was, uh, seven or eight years ago.
Lucy and Mitch were getting married and J.
R.
Decided to celebrate their holy vows in his own distinctive way right here in this room.
Well, you don't lie, that's for sure.
About what? About what you do best.
- J.
R? - Hm? You probably think I'm easy now.
I'm not.
I just never met anybody like you before.
No, I'm not any better than anybody else.
- I know that.
- Yeah? I just meant you're different.
Oh, how different? First time I saw you, I could tell you always get what you want.
Well, I try.
So, what happens now? Now I think we ought to get downstairs before people start wondering where we are.
J.
R: Oh, hello, darling.
- Getting in out of the sun, darling? - Oh, just answering nature's call.
And from the looks of your dress, it's turning into quite a party.
Uh, no, J.
R.
It's just barely begun.
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY IN DISTANCE.]
So the real J.
R.
Has finally come home.
[SIGHS.]
All those years of pain and unhappiness.
No, no, no.
Come on.
Come on, you've gotta get past it.
Easy for you to say.
I did it when my wife died.
Motorcycle crash.
She was 27.
And you never drank? And you never went crazy? And you never got so lonely that you thought you were gonna turn into stone? I travel.
Keep moving.
Work on my problems in my writing.
That's what I plan to do with our movie.
Humiliating J.
R.
Isn't going to stop your pain, Sue Ellen.
[SIGHS.]
Maybe not.
But when I think back to all the hopes and the dreams that I brought into my first marriage and how that bastard crushed them Shh.
[SIGHS.]
PRIEST: I require and charge you both that if either of you know any impediment why you may not be joined in marriage, speak up now.
[WIND WHISTLING.]
Then I ask you, Calpurnia Harper do you take this man, John Ross Ewing Jr as your lawful wedded husband? CALLY: I do.
PRIEST: Will you now produce the ring? Son.
Come on.
Thank you.
Please place it on her finger and repeat after me.
It's all right, Reverend.
I know the drill.
With this ring, Cally Harper, I thee wed.
PRIEST: Therefore, by the powers vested in me, I am both pleased and delighted to introduce you to this congregation as Mr.
And Mrs.
J.
R.
Ewing.
[THUNDER CRASHES.]
Feel free to kiss the bride.
[HORSE NEIGHS.]
[MID-TEMPO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
Well, they seem to be enjoying themselves.
Being married to J.
R.
Is like a Hitchcock movie.
You start out laughing, and then you find yourself screaming in terror.
[MUSIC STOPS.]
[J.
R.
LAUGHS.]
Okay, that's it.
We gotta catch a plane.
Y'all dance, have a good time, hear? J.
R: All right, darling, let's go.
WOMAN: Have fun.
ALL: Bye.
[J.
R.
& CALLY LAUGHING.]
Oh, I'll bet you're a happy little woman now.
Ah, I reckon I've had about the best day a body could have.
Ha, ha, the only thing better than a wedding day is a wedding night.
And you're gonna have a night you'll never forget, Mr.
J.
R.
Ewing.
I like the way you talk, honey.
[CALLY MO ANING.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
Ha, ha.
We ought to hurry.
The storm's coming on.
Let me help you out of that tight little wedding dress.
Oh! J.
R.
, you best save your gumption for tonight.
[J.
R.
& CALLY LAUGHING.]
I don't believe this.
That lousy S-O-B.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
CLAYTON: This weather's making them leave in droves.
There's gonna be a terrible waste of food.
- Yeah, I know.
- Paul? Paul? - Bobby.
Bobby.
Look, read this.
- This is addressed to J.
R.
Put me in jail for taking it.
I don't care.
But read it.
Where is he? BOBBY: J.
R.
I don't have any time for congratulations.
- I'm gonna catch a plane right now.
- Not so fast.
What's this? - How did you get that? - I think we ought to take this inside.
You've been opening my mail, Barnes.
Is that what you want for a partner? A low-down little sneak? Who's calling who a sneak? - Let's take it inside.
- I'm not going anywhere.
You want an audience? You got a lot of nerve selling the Ellis County land without consulting us.
- It's my property.
- I can do anything I want to it.
- That's not the way it works.
Now, wait just a minute.
This is my wedding day.
Nobody's getting in no fistfight until I throw my wedding bouquet.
- All right, darling.
- Okay, ladies, ready? [THUNDER RUMBLING.]
[WOMEN SHRIEKING.]
I wanna know who this Ultima Enterprises is that you're doing business with.
- It's a dummy corporation, I'll bet.
- I don't know who owns that outfit.
We've sold it.
And the money is in the corporate account.
What could be better? You probably sold it for a fraction of it's worth.
Ugh, you're talking about I'm talking about big bucks in our pocket right now.
I don't buy it.
I'm gonna find out who it is you're doing business with.
J.
R: You keep me out of the oil business.
You're starting to interfere with my side deals.
I'm not talking about one deal.
- I'm talking about trust.
CLIFF: We're talking about a partnership.
Trust? Partnership? And then you go and open my mail? That's a lot of hogwash for me to swallow, I'll tell you that.
What is going on here? This is a wedding day.
I'm ashamed of all of you.
We've got a bad enough storm outside.
We sure don't need another one in here.
Now, let's all have some coffee and sit down and wait for the storm to pass.
CHRISTOPHER: Guess what.
JOHN ROSS: There's a tornado watch for Braddock County.
- We heard it on TV.
- Say anything about the roads? - They're closed.
They're not letting people drive anywhere.
I guess the ones who left early were the smart ones.
The safest thing to do is have everybody spend the night right here at Southfork.
That's very kind of you, Miss Ellie, but I think maybe we'll chance it.
Well, a tornado watch can be a serious thing.
Hate to see anything happen.
Personally, I'd like to stay.
ELLIE: It's only one night.
We have plenty of bedrooms.
Hey, you know, I've never stayed here at Southfork.
I think it might be fun, ha, ha.
Well, good.
Then it's settled.
I'll start making the sleeping arrangements.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna spend my wedding night with half the population of Dallas in the next room.
Well, I'm sorry, J.
R.
, but you have no choice.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh, better here than no honeymoon at all, honey.
I think the rain's romantic.
- It's really put me in the loving mood.
- Ha, ha, in you go, Mrs.
Ewing.
I want you to pick me up and carry me through the door like the old custom.
Well, now, you've been eating a lot of wedding cake today.
You wouldn't want me to hurt my back, would you? And you wouldn't wanna hurt my feelings especially right at this moment.
J.
R: Ha, ha.
SUE ELLEN: J.
R? I'm glad to see there's a little romance still left in you.
I can't believe Mama put you in that room across the hall from us.
I asked for my old room.
Ugh, well, are you planning to peek through our keyhole all night? Heh, I'm not that interested.
This is for you, Cally.
Thanks, Sue Ellen.
That's really thoughtful of you.
Well, aren't you going to carry your young bride across the threshold? Here.
You just stay away from me.
Come on.
[SUE ELLEN CLEARS THRO AT.]
Watch his back.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[DON LAUGHS.]
You're right.
This is a research opportunity.
I'm sorry Miss Ellie ran out of bedrooms.
DON: I'm so used to sleeping on couches, it's almost a habit.
- Don? - Hmm? You can sleep in here if you like.
There's plenty of room.
Good night, Sue Ellen.
[SIGHS.]
[CHATTERING.]
- Oh, Lord.
- What? You've outstayed your welcome, Barnes.
- I'm just gonna finish this dance.
- That's fine with me.
- As long as you do it alone.
- No, get your hands off me.
It's all right, J.
R.
No, it's not.
I want him out of your life and off this ranch.
- Don't touch me.
- You may have botched killing yourself but I'm sure as hell not going [WOMAN SHRIEKS.]
[CROWD GASPING AND SHOUTING.]
Cliff! You guys! Enough! Oh, stop it! Stop it! Freddy, give me a hand.
Get him out of here.
ELLIE: Maybe Lucy's right.
Maybe there is a jinx on Southfork weddings.
Every marriage ought to start off with a flash of lightning.
Might get J.
R.
To take this a little more seriously.
I heard you listening to the radio.
Any news? Well, the tornado watch has been extended to 16 counties and two states.
When I was a girl, I was terrified of tornadoes.
I'll lay you a wager that we don't get one of them to set down within 50 miles of here.
Ha, ha, I hope you're right.
Yeah, it's not the tornadoes and the wind and the rain that bothers me.
What concerns me is the amount of bad blood that we have got sleeping under one roof.
We'll be lucky to get through the night without casualties.
- Thanks for letting me share your room.
- Oh, no problem.
Well, I'm glad it fits.
Well, it's a little on the, uh, short side.
Oh, well.
At least you've got nice legs.
Well, just don't expect me to go prance down the hall.
Yeah, especially if Bobby's anywhere around.
I don't think he could take the excitement.
[BOTH GIGGLING.]
I know it's none of my business but, uh, just how serious are you two getting, anyway, hmm? - Does it bother you? - No.
I just think you're a nice girl, and, uh, I get a little concerned every time somebody nice gets mixed up with this family.
Hello, April.
Hello.
BOBBY: How you doing? I'm okay.
I hope John Ross didn't mind giving up his room for me.
Oh, the kids are camping out on my floor.
It's the most fun they've had in a long time.
- How about you? You having fun? Well, it's not every day I come down to the kitchen and find a pretty girl drinking coffee.
So tell me about you and Tracey.
Tell me about you and Tommy.
[CHUCKLES.]
Ironic, isn't it? Brother and sister? Well, our paths do seem to cross every once in a while.
And here we are, midnight me in your kitchen, you in your bathrobe while all hell's breaking loose outside, discussing each other's love life.
April do you think that we can be friends? We could try.
McKAY: Whoo, what happened to all the leftovers? BOBBY: Hello, Carter.
- Hey, Bobby.
April.
APRIL: Hi.
BOBBY: You hungry? - I get this way every tornado season.
I happen to know where the remains of the wedding cake are and for a price, I'll guide you to it.
That's my cue to get some sleep.
Good night, gentlemen.
McKAY: Good night.
BOBBY: Good night, April.
So you want your slice from the bride's side or the groom's? Just drag the whole thing out here.
[BOBBY LAUGHS.]
Grab some towels.
TOMMY: Surprise.
[TOMMY LAUGHING.]
[APRIL SIGHS.]
Ooh! You look a little chilly.
Pick any part of your body, and I'll be glad to warm it up.
Tommy.
That's my name.
I like you.
I'm attracted to you.
And right now, I'm very tempted.
[CHUCKLES.]
Don't say no.
But not here.
I mean, not tonight.
You're a tease, April Stevens.
And what are you, Tommy McKay? A man who's in need of a long, cold shower.
Don't keep me waiting too long, sugar.
You wouldn't want me to explode, would you? Sweet dreams.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[GASPING.]
Well, I never thought I'd be spending the night at Southfork.
Sure as hell didn't think I'd be sleeping on the floor.
Reminds me of my favorite film: It Happened One Night, except you're no Claudette Colbert.
Well, it reminds me of my favorite film.
But I think if this house were taken away by a tornado to Oz l'm not sure that the Munchkins would be ready for J.
R.
Ewing.
Uh, why aren't you upstairs with, uh, Sue Ellen? Why aren't you upstairs romancing the lovely April? Oh, because we're just friends.
The way Sue Ellen looked at you seemed more than just friends.
Well, I was her escort.
That's all.
Yeah? You're saying that you two aren't an item? That's right.
What are you, then? I think I'll leave you guessing.
Well, you're not quite as straightforward as a Texan but I guess you're devious enough to fit right in here in Dallas.
Well, I'll take that as a compliment.
You know, this just doesn't seem right, me sleeping down here on the floor while J.
R.
's up there riding this storm out with a smile.
Well, wasn't that worth waiting for? [J.
R.
CHUCKLES.]
You don't hear me complaining, honey.
Now I truly do feel like the real Mrs.
J.
R.
Ewing.
Can I ask you something? Now that we're man and wife, you can ask me anything you want.
Just how long have you been pregnant? With any luck at all about 10 minutes.
What? I checked with your doctor.
You mean Sue Ellen's doctor.
We told him we were funning a little bit with you and he was happy to oblige.
This was Sue Ellen's idea? No, my idea, but she helped me.
See, I wanted you, J.
R.
, more than anything else and this is the only way I could catch you.
J.
R: Well I gotta tip my hat to you, Cally.
You just might have the stuff to make a proper Ewing wife after all.
[J.
R.
LAUGHING.]
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
J.
R.
J.
R: I'm gonna go down and get another bottle of champagne, honey.
[SUE ELLEN CHUCKLES.]
You were a little quicker than usual, J.
R.
[LAUGHS.]
NARRATOR: Next on Dallas: You got the makings of a great wife and you have a strong streak of deviousness in you.
APRIL: He's cute.
There's also something a little scary about him.
- What do you mean? APRIL: He was waiting for me in bed, stark naked.
You don't screw around with those Colombians.
You'll wake up in the morning and find your ears sewn to the inside of your eyelids.
I mean, I really just want us to be friends.
You won't get an argument from me.
TOMMY: Well, if it's not the new bridegroom.
Wait, this isn't the new bride, is it? Everyone needs love.