Blue Bloods s13e02 Episode Script

Denise, come out here.
Look, there's no sheets on the bed.
Why is the bed upside down?
My mother wanted me to go to med school.
- The reason I didn't
- Let me guess.
You hate the sight of blood.
- Exactly.
- Mm-hmm.
So this dummy decides
to become a cop instead.
Makes sense.
You have to talk to me first.
Tell me everything that you said to him.
Hey.
- You okay out there?
- Uh, yes, Detective.
And what about you? You ladies okay?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Did you call in 911?
- It was me.
Perhaps being a little overzealous.
I don't think they were
being overzealous.
It looks like Jack Woltz's bed in there.
- Who?
- Jack Woltz.
Godfather made him an
offer he can't ref Forget it.
I'll need to speak to you all later.
Okay?
I'm gonna need the name
of the guest who was
staying in this room.
Have you determined that a crime
occurred on the premises?
Well, I don't think
the guest had a paper cut.
Agreed, but it's
not necessarily a crime, is it?
Well, there's nobody in there.
There's no towels.
There's no sheets.
There's a pool of blood.
Could be someone was murdered
and carried out.
Could be, maybe not.
Look, you can cooperate
and give me the name.
Or you could do this the hard
way and not give me the name.
I'm sorry, hotel policy forbids me
from sharing the names of guests.
Hey, Sarge.
Uh, boss wants to see you ASAP.
You're getting transferred.
Eddie. No. Eddie!
We had a deal.
We did?
At the hospital.
You said,
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
And I said, "You can let us stay
in the same precinct."
- Yes.
- So, then why are you transferring him?
Just because you asked for a wish
does not mean that I granted it.
I am not your fairy godmother.
No, you're not.
Where are you sending him?
To the Intelligence Bureau.
I cannot believe you are doing this.
I honestly don't know what to say.
Just say thank you.
Eddie.
I'm staying right here. She recommended
that I be the new Field
Intelligence Sergeant, for the 2-9.
You did?
Oh, my God. Um
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
Oh, hey, ho, no.
- Don't even think about that.
- No.
Absolutely not.
What? No. Nothing. Of course not.
That's never happening.
- Captain.
- Just wanted to clarify. Thank you.
Goodbye. Go.
And they let him walk without bail.
- That's it on my end, boss.
- Nothing else, sir.
Garrett, hang back a minute.
Thank you.
Any knock on your door about that thing?
Not yet, but only a matter of time.
Anyone knock on yours?
All quiet on my front, too.
Well, I guess we'll answer
the door when the knock comes.
Yes, but we should know
what we're going to say
before we have to say it.
You want me to draft a statement?
- I already did.
- Oh, great.
I'll take my usual pass, then
It's not necessary,
it's just one sentence.
But it might need some amplification.
One simple declarative sentence.
Clear as a bell.
- That's it?
- That's it.
And then yelled every reporter
at once
I won't be taking questions.
Okay, are we at least going to give
the parties concerned a heads-up?
Would we normally give them a heads-up?
No, but this isn't normal.
It has to be.
Wishing won't make it so.
No, but actions will.
That is all for now.
Did he say why?
I'm afraid not.
But he's in his office now,
if you want to stop by.
Is that the plan,
that you deliver the blow
and then send me in there for consoling?
He doesn't know I delivered the news.
I'm definitely sticking my neck
out here.
Why?
Because I couldn't not.
Well, normally,
of course I would stop by
to hash things out,
but "Commissioner Raegan will
not be making
an endorsement in the race for
Manhattan District Attorney."
There's nothing to hash.
Perfect, thank you.
Got the subpoena.
When will people learn?
You make our life difficult,
we're only gonna make yours
even more difficult.
Well, that manager was
probably just doing his job.
I mean, he would lose his job
if he coughed up
whoever's hotel room that was.
Okay, but now he's gotta
choke on a subpoena,
which means we're gonna get
the name of the guest anyway.
And on top of that, now we get access
to the surveillance camera footage.
Uh
Who's that?
- That's Dr. Nigh Nigh.
- Doctor what?
His real name is Dr. Knight with a "K,"
but everyone just calls him
Dr. Nigh Nigh.
Who's "everyone"?
Instagram, talk shows, Page Six.
He's famous? What did he do,
write a children's book or something?
It's Dr. Nigh Nigh
'cause he's a sleep doctor.
Oh.
What the hell is a sleep doctor?
Do you know the single most
important thing you can do
for your health is
get a good night's sleep?
No. You told me a month ago
it was no carbs, eat bacon.
- No. It is scientifically proven.
- Uh-huh.
Sleep is more important
than diet and exercise.
It's the first pillar.
The first pillar.
That sounds like you're in a cult.
He has over a million followers.
That's a very big cult.
Tell me, how many of those followers
does he tell they'll get
a good night's sleep
by sleeping with him?
He's a really good guy,
- and he's happily married.
- So then what
the hell's he doing with dirtbag
defense attorney Perlmutter?
Detective Reagan.
Pleasure to see you.
You, too, Counselor.
And this is my partner Detective Baez.
- Well, let me introduce you to
- I'm a huge fan.
Your book changed my life.
Ah, that's really amazing. Thank you.
Change Your Sleep, Change Your Life.
- Exactly.
- So, to what do we owe
the displeasure, Counselor?
I just want to say right off
the bat that nothing's wrong.
No crime has been committed.
We are here making a good-faith gesture.
Okay, so what crime did your
client not commit, then?
I know that you are looking
for the individual
who stayed at the Greenwich last night.
We would like to come forward
on that matter.
That was him?
Yes, it was me.
Mm-hmm.
Change your sleep, change your life.
First off,
I would like to sincerely thank you
for your time and
discretion with this matter.
Discretion?
What I'm about to tell you
I'm a married man, you see.
Mm-hmm. Very happily,
from what I've been told.
Yes. Very much so.
So that was your wife you
were with at the hotel, then?
No.
My wife is out of town this week.
I see. Who were you with?
A friend.
This friend have a name?
I don't know.
So a close friend.
Detective, can we please
do without the commentary?
My client is here of his own accord.
Okay, so we're looking for
a get-out-of-jail-free card
- and discretion.
- Ooh.
Get out of jail?
I-I didn't commit any crime.
- Detective, please.
- Okay.
Then let's cut to the chase.
Where'd all the blood
come from in the hotel room?
I was slashed by a knife.
Looks like a bandage to me.
I don't see any slash.
Okay.
What hospital did you go to?
I stitched the wound myself.
Right. Because discretion.
So your friend with no name cut you?
No, no, it wasn't her.
Someone came to the door,
and they were banging on it pretty good.
And when I opened it,
a man came rushing in
screaming and yelling.
- Who?
- I don't know.
I-I guess her pimp.
It all happened in an instant.
The next thing I know
I'm slashed and I'm bleeding.
- And the girl?
- I don't know.
I guess she left with him.
Okay. Do you have
a description of this guy?
He called me soon after.
I put him at about six feet.
I was hoping he might answer, Counselor.
I think he was about six feet,
uh, 200 pounds.
Wearing a baseball hat.
Look, I never saw his face.
I don't suppose you have
a "contact number"
for your friend?
They met at a hotel bar.
I'm sorry, I don't.
Didn't think so.
Sergeant Reagan. Welcome.
I'm your Intelligence liaison,
Lieutenant Flemming.
Pleasure to meet you, boss.
What is this place?
The Black Room.
This is where any and all top secret
or confidential conversations
will take place.
Meaning pretty much every
conversation you and I have.
Please take a seat.
Your wheels are turning. That's good.
Less good, you're showing your cards.
I'm sorry, what?
You're an Intelligence officer now;
your face is your mask.
Okay. Uh, right.
So this room is surveillance-proof?
That surprises you.
We're at One PP,
surrounded by other cops.
Cops, not Intelligence officers.
Unless otherwise approved,
we don't discuss cases or
share any information
with other cops.
Is that gonna be a problem?
Well, it's just I am who I am.
Look, I understand your father's
the commissioner,
but even he doesn't have the authority
to tell us what we do in this
That's not what I meant.
Trust me, my father would stop me cold
on the first syllable.
So what's the issue?
Well, I'm married to a cop.
Officer Edit Janko.
So can I talk about my work with her?
No exceptions.
Your security clearance, new ID card.
That'll give you access to this floor.
Sign for security clearance.
We'll be communicating
through secure message,
but from time to time
I ask you to come up here
and brief me in person.
Okay. How often do we meet?
As often as I like.
There something on your mind?
Please share.
It's just my whole career,
my entire experience
has been centered around
cops helping cops.
The time to walk away is now.
No, that's-that's not it.
I'm not, I'm not looking
to walk away, boss.
Sergeant Reagan
you're taking your first baby steps
into the clandestine world.
In that world,
not everyone is who they appear to be.
Sometimes the guy behind
the counter at a bodega
is just a guy behind the counter.
But sometimes he's much more than that.
So if I learn that type of information,
doesn't it make sense for me to share it
with the other cops in my precinct?
Aren't we all working together?
What if it's your C.O. instead?
My C.O.?
She's not but maybe she is.
My point is, knowing
someone is compromised
and using that knowledge for our benefit
is often better than making the collar.
Save that for the beat cops.
We operate at an elevated level.
My wife's not compromised.
I'm sure that's so.
But it's not a risk
we're willing to take for you.
- Sir, your father is here.
- Abigail.
You've got some nerve, Francis.
Thank you, Baker.
I could have been in a meeting, Pop.
The hell with your meeting.
Well, shot in the dark,
this is about Erin.
Who came to me in confidence,
and I swore to her
I wouldn't say a word to you.
So right off the bat,
you break my word, I break your nose.
And I'm the only one left
who would do it.
Loud and clear.
So what is this horse crap?
It's the right call, Pop.
Hanging your only daughter
out to dry is the right call?
You've been up on this
high floor too long.
Look, I understand why you're upset.
It's not me you should be worried about.
And I'm sure Erin is upset, too,
but she'll get over it.
And maybe in time she will
even come to understand it.
You didn't even have the decency
- to tell her yourself.
- I can't do that.
Why the hell not?!
Because if I wouldn't do it
for somebody else,
I can't do it for her.
Oh, Mary and Joseph.
I would have thought
after sitting in that chair
for all these years,
you would have lightened up a hair.
We do the job differently.
You can say that again.
My hand to God,
there is no way in hell
I would have cut bait on you
like you're doing to Erin.
I am not cutting bait on her.
Dress it up all you like
in ethics or good governance,
but damn it, it's exactly
what you're doing.
We agree to disagree.
You hurt her, Francis.
I know.
You gonna make it right?
It is right.
Look at her.
Nothing like the type
that would be hanging out
with that street thug pimp
that your star crush described.
- He's not my star crush.
- Okay.
I got an idea.
Where you going?
I'm gonna see an old friend.
You wanna come with?
It's funny, isn't it?
Everything is for sale these days,
and anything can be delivered
right to your doorstep.
You could courier a bag
of weed right now, but still
we demonize and criminalize
God's greatest gift: lovemaking.
I'm not sure you can still call it love
if you have to swipe
a credit card for it.
For some that's half the fun.
Look, we just need to know if
this is one of your girls or not.
She looks familiar.
- Okay.
- Do you got a name?
Not for you.
What's her name?
Oregano.
Okay, look,
you don't want us to
have to call Vice, do you?
She looks familiar.
That's the best I can do.
Okay.
Hey, I've been thinking.
- Uh-oh.
- Why uh-oh?
Well, bad things happen
every time you say
you've been thinking instead of just
saying what you're thinking.
Well, that's not true.
Well, forget it.
Clearly I don't have your support.
Come on, I was just
playing with you. Tell me.
I'm worried about your new job.
I know. Me, too.
I think I should talk to McNichols.
- Absolutely not.
- What's the big deal?
I'll just explain the situation
and see if she might be
willing to change her mind.
Are you under the impression
that you and your C.O.
have a good rapport?
Well, when you ask it like that,
- maybe not.
- Definitely not.
Well, where does that leave us?
I mean, you're just gonna take this job
that renders you a mute
in our relationship,
and we just have to hope it doesn't
drive a wedge between us.
I haven't figured it out yet.
- Okay?
- Yeah.
You really can't be here right now.
My children will be home any minute.
Well, then, just give us your
friend's contact information
and we'll be on our way.
- Dad?
- Hey, hon.
Everything okay?
It's nothing. It's just
an insurance claim.
I really need you to go now.
We got this off the surveillance
camera at the hotel.
We're the only ones
who've seen it so far.
You threatening my client?
We gotta ID this woman
if we're gonna solve the case.
We came forward voluntarily.
You came forward because
you wanted discretion.
You knew we were gonna
get a subpoena, which means
you knew we'd get access
to the surveillance videos,
and it would show him.
Basically you wanted to keep
your client's name out of the papers.
- That's not true.
- Of course it's true.
You know if he ends up on Page Six
it's good night to the
doc's sleep empire.
- Maybe her pimp
- There's no pimp.
This isn't some gal you met
on 42nd Street back in the '80s.
She's a $2,000-a-night call girl
who you ordered from Arianna.
- What do you want?
- The truth.
It's the only way we're gonna
keep him out of the papers.
Can I have the night
to talk to my client?
Sure.
Sleep on it.
Garrett wants to pop in.
Is there any possible way
we could put that off till tomorrow?
He said not urgent but important.
I have no idea what that means.
Let's have him.
Remember the 1988 presidential debate?
Okay, now I'm confused.
Is this urgent or important?
Dukakis's fate was sealed
on the first question.
His entire campaign over
before it started.
Yeah, he blew the question. He was asked
would he support capital punishment
- if his wife was raped or murdered.
- Exactly.
He said no, and then he proceeded
to give a long, cold
and dispassionate rationale
on why he was always against
the death penalty.
Yes, exactly. But this is not that.
He never even mentioned his wife.
It was as if he was talking about
- anyone else in the world.
- Garrett,
it is very kind of you to worry
that I might be perceived
as unfeeling.
It is unfeeling.
She's your daughter.
I know your family is
the third rail around here,
and has been since
the day we met, but
- No buts.
- Yes, there is a but.
Because what you're setting out to do
is a public relations nightmare,
and I can't just stand
The way you just couldn't not tell Erin?
And there it is.
And yes. Exactly like that.
It's like the signs at the airport.
If you see something, say something.
I'm afraid you have no choice here,
Garrett.
You're wrong. I do.
I get to speak my mind,
and I'm telling you not to do this.
You will be crucified.
By treating my daughter no different
than I would any other candidate?
She is different than
any other candidate.
She's your daughter.
And every media outlet
and citizen of this city
is gonna see it that way.
Then so be it, 'cause I'm not
gonna start pandering now.
This isn't pandering.
It's basic human nature.
A father loves and supports his daughter
to the Nth degree, hell or high water.
- I do, Garrett.
- Then come out and say it.
I am. In my own way.
Thank you for caring.
Did you know,
according to Dr. Nigh Nigh,
the day after Daylight Savings Time,
the country as a whole sees
an increase in heart attacks
by 14%, but the day after
we set the clocks back,
and we get an extra hour's sleep,
heart attacks decrease by 20%.
Told you. Sleep is the first pillar
of health.
- Who knew?
- So now you like him?
Not even a little bit.
One o'clock.
What's one o'clock?
One o'clock. My one o'clock.
Oh, uh, Arianna, to what
do we owe the pleasure?
Don't act so surprised.
It's not like I had a choice.
I don't give you what you want,
you shut me down.
Oh,
the young lady who spent the night night
with, uh, Dr. Nigh Nigh?
Nothing happened.
Nothing?
I mean, that happened, but nothing else.
So absolutely nothing at all happened
out of the ordinary that night?
No. We had a few drinks,
we spent some time together,
I went on my merry way.
No pimp crashing through the door
brandishing a knife?
- Pimp?
- Yes.
No. Look, what I do for a living is
out of the ordinary,
but no, nothing like that.
You know, Dr. Knight had
a pretty severe slash
across his chest.
So severe that he had to
give himself stitches.
I don't know anything about that.
Must have happened after I left.
So you never saw anyone
slash him or attack him
- or assault him, nothing?
- Like I said,
we did our thing,
I went about my business.
Okay.
The journey has just begun.
This move to Intelligence is
just another rung in the ladder.
That's what I need to
talk to you about, Pop.
I'm just
I'm not sure about this move.
I'm not sure it's a good fit.
It's a great fit.
It's not.
What's the problem?
Oh, you can't talk about it.
You don't like wearing a muzzle.
I love my job, but I love
my marriage, too.
The modern-day marriage,
with all its delicate intricacies.
In this new job,
I can't talk to her about anything.
I can't even talk to you about
what I can't talk to her about.
I've carried my share
of secrets, believe me.
And how'd you manage it at home?
I roamed the earth
with the dinosaurs, Jamie.
Your grandmother would no more
have asked me about
my day on the beat
than I would ask her about
how to darn a sock.
The good old days.
Neither is right,
they're just different.
Mm-hmm.
A man has to live in his own time.
And I don't want to
keep things from her,
but I'm gonna have to
if I want to keep this job.
Do you like the job?
I think it could be really interesting.
You will never forgive yourself
unless you heed your true calling.
You're saying I should stay.
I'm saying you need to nail down
what your calling is.
I shouldn't be here.
Garrett, I'm fine, I swear.
You don't need to say a word.
I know that about you, believe me.
Okay then.
- I'll see you around.
- What he did was wrong,
- and I told hm so.
- Garrett
But it didn't move him an inch.
You should go.
And
you were never here.
You kept me waiting
all morning, Perlmutter.
You're lucky I didn't cut bait
on you already.
- Sorry. Pressing business.
- Uh-huh.
More pressing than
keeping your client's name
out of the papers?
My client gave you an honest
and accurate account
of the events in question.
Any additions or subtractions
would be untruthful.
Well, it's interesting because
we had an escort come in here
and give us the complete opposite story.
To each their own.
- It doesn't concern you?
- He said, she said.
- Would you like to know what she said?
- Not particularly.
Not even if it incriminates your client?
If that were the case,
Detective, my client
would already be in handcuffs.
Instead, he's having lunch
at the Carlyle.
Well, you know my next move.
About that
Formal notice.
If that photo you showed us
appears in the media,
we will be holding you,
and the NYPD accountable
to the tune of $10 million.
You're gonna sue me?
Only if you do something stupid.
And a copy of that was sent to
the police commissioner's
office as well.
You think that scares me?
I think that stops you.
What was that?
I thought we had this one
all wrapped up.
- So did I.
- What just happened?
Dr. Nigh Nigh's lawyer
just put me in a sleeper hold.
Hey. Sorry to keep you waiting.
No, no, that's fine.
Sit down.
Okay.
Something wrong?
No.
Yes, but
You really are not the easiest person
to have a conversation with, are you?
- No, I'm not.
- But you did ask to see me.
Didn't you? Okay.
Now you're having second thoughts?
Okay.
Is this about you
and Sergeant Reagan again?
What? My perfect solution
to your problem turned out
- not to be so perfect?
- No.
Not by a long shot.
So, you wanted to talk to me
about it, but while you were
sitting here waiting for me,
all the different versions of
how badly this could go started
to run through your head?
- Whoa. You're good at this.
- Not really.
I just trust my instincts,
and I get out of my own way.
Well, that's good advice.
Wait. That's what
you are telling me to do,
- isn't it?
- Ah.
Got it.
Great. Thank you.
Hey, Janko?
You and Sergeant Reagan
I know that the version
of you two around here
may no longer be on the menu,
but there are other choices
that might end up being
just as good, maybe better.
Hey. You got a minute?
How you holding up?
Well, Garrett Moore came by to see me.
Oh, yeah? He come bearing gifts?
Well, he came to tell me
that he's got my back, but
- that and a subway token
- You know,
- your old man ain't budging for nobody.
- Yeah.
Not even his only daughter.
What I'm supposed to say here is,
"Don't go feeling sorry for yourself."
- But you're not going to?
- No.
I'm afraid you're gonna put my
you-know-whats in a vice grip.
I don't know why I'm surprised.
I mean, it's completely
consistent with who he is.
But a part of you thought it would
be different with you. I get it.
Yeah, and-and I know
he would do the same thing
with my brothers.
- No argument here.
- I just
just for once wish
he could stop being the
commissioner and just be my dad.
You know, you're like Charlie Brown,
thinking that one day Lucy's actually
gonna let him kick the football.
Great. So I should look forward
to a lifetime of face-plants?
Look, your old man is not
a tough nut to crack at all.
It's just that all of you see him
through rose-colored glasses.
What's that supposed to mean?
Does the guy do it by the
book every single time?
Absolutely.
But does the guy always have an angle?
Again, absolutely.
So, what's the angle?
The hell you lookin' at me for?
He's your father.
It's okay.
I'm not here on official business.
As a client?
I always suspected this day would come.
Not as a client, either.
Oh, that's too bad, 'cause I was
going to take you on myself.
I'm actually here just to say thank you.
Come on in.
Drink?
No, thanks.
So I guess my bringing Milan in
really helped your case, huh?
Actually, it didn't, but
it's the thought that counts.
Oh, well, I am
very thoughtful.
People always say that about me.
It's true. You didn't have
to bring her in, but you did.
Well, you know me, Super Citizen.
I promise
it had absolutely nothing to do
with you threatening
to call Vice on me if I didn't.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Empty threat.
Now he tells me.
Brought you a little gift.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
Just a token of my appreciation.
- What is it?
- Take a look.
That is a copy of a wire transfer
into your account today for $20,000.
Oh, that's from an investment property.
No. That's from Dr. Knight,
through his attorney Perlmutter
by way of an overseas shell corporation.
- No.
- Yes.
Milan received the same payment.
I think you should go, Detective.
And I think Dr. Knight is paying
you and Milan for your silence.
You both know who went in that room,
and you both know who cut him.
And we all know it wasn't some pimp.
So why don't we knock off the
games and tell me who it was?
I just snapped.
That's the only way I can describe it.
I mean, he's my father,
and Milan she was my friend.
Who does that?
I think anyone in your position
would have snapped.
How long have you been friends
with Milan?
We go to NYU together.
We're in the same circle.
Did you know she was an escort?
I'd heard rumors.
- And what about your father?
- Look,
he's a great dad,
he really is, but he has this
I don't know unquenchable ego?
So you knew he wasn't
faithful to your mother?
Unfaithful is one thing.
Banging one of my friends
on the regular is something
quite different.
How did you hear
about your dad and Milan?
Are you kidding?
People were lining up, dying to tell me
how my awesome famous dad
is really anything but.
Can you tell us what happened
at the hotel that night?
I followed him.
Watched them have drinks.
Watched them go into his room.
Waited outside till she was gone.
Then knocked on the door.
And you cut your father?
Like I said,
I couldn't really think straight.
I was
yelling at him,
probably not making a lot of sense.
And I don't know.
I saw the knife
on the room service tray.
Hey, stop. Stop it.
I can explain everything.
No. Do not say another word.
You sure? I'd love to hear him explain.
- Positive.
- You know,
the tremendous irony
here is that what you did
is wrong on so many levels,
yet it's not a felony.
And, conversely, what your daughter did
was right on so many levels,
but it is a felony.
And she's going to jail.
Wh-What? Wait, hold on a second.
She did try to kill you.
Now, granted, I would've
done the same thing myself
if you'd cheated on my mom.
But it is felony assault.
Probably looking at five years.
You can't be serious.
I'm dead serious.
What the hell is wrong with you?
- With me?
- Yeah, what kind of person are you?
That's rich,
coming from the person
who cheats on his wife
with his daughter's friend.
Speaking of
- Audrey!
- No.
Audrey!
Do not say another word!
Not a word!
Bet you'll sleep like a baby
tonight, huh, Doc?
Yes, it's a different precinct.
But the 2-0 is the next one over.
So it's like I'm barely moving at all.
Wait, you talked to McNichols?
We have a better rapport.
- Good to know.
- The point is,
she's on board.
Just have to give her the word.
What about the fact that it
seems like you really love
this new job with Intelligence?
- I do.
- You're willing to give it up for me?
For us.
I have to admit
it is a good compromise.
Right?
But I've been thinking,
too, and, you know,
your work stories
they're not that interesting.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
Truth is, you're not
really a great storyteller.
I see.
I'm serious.
Then I guess you don't want to know
about the baby I delivered last night.
You delivered a baby last night?
Triplets. On the Triboro,
actually. But you're not interested.
You're right. I'm not.
- At all.
- Great.
Because I'm not allowed
to talk about it.
- Top secret stuff, remember?
- I do.
And I'm fine with it.
Eddie, you're never gonna be fine
with me not telling you
anything about work.
No. Not only am I fine with it,
I'm really looking forward
to the new version of us.
New version?
You know that thing
that happens to a couple
when they have a baby and they're
wake up years later, they're
so focused on being a parent
that all they talk about is the kids?
Are you saying you want to have a baby
so that we have something else
to talk about?
What? No. I'm saying work is our baby.
It's all we ever talk about.
And not being allowed to talk about it
might actually be a blessing.
And you're not gonna ask me
a million questions every day?
Oh, no, no. I'm gonna ask you
a million questions every day.
Just not about work.
Then about what?
I don't know.
Maybe your feelings?
Oh, you want me to tell you
how I'm feeling right now?
Welcome to Jamie and Eddie 2.0!
Something's up.
Erin is waiting for you.
Oh.
Temperature?
Unreadable.
Hey there.
So you're not gonna bite off my face?
Not at all.
And to what
do I owe the surprise?
I wanted to thank you.
For?
Took me
a moment to sort this one out.
I was upset.
I don't mind telling you
my feelings were hurt.
I'm sorry about that.
But then I figured you out.
I will be announcing in a few weeks.
I won't come straight out
of the gate with it, but
you should expect soon
and publicly
that I will offer my
constructive criticism of the NYPD
and of you as commissioner
on a number of issues.
But then you already knew that.
Which is why you're not endorsing me.
So I am free to take you
and the department on.
And why in the world would I want that?
Because I don't have
a snowball's chance in hell
of winning if I don't.
Oh.
And you knew I wouldn't do it
unless you took the first shot.
I think you're ready, kid.
Just another one
of dear old Dad's teaching moments.
Well,
you got off easy, if you ask me.
Not endorsing me is getting off easy?
Because if you win, which you will,
then you get all the credit.
Nobody else does. See?
I'll drink to that.
And, besides, no teachable moment
from Dad is worse
than when he sent me to school
with maple syrup in my hair.
You can't possibly be comparing the two.
- Of course I can.
- Wait, wait, I'm sorry,
maple syrup in your hair?
- Yes!
- Danny was goofing around
one morning at breakfast, decided to use
his pancake syrup as hair gel.
Yes, as a joke.
Dad told him a hundred times
- "Knock it off.
- "Which, of course,
Danny didn't listen to him,
so he sent him to school like that.
Yeah.
With a nine-foot alfalfa spike
on the back of my head.
You never played
with your pancake syrup again.
No, I didn't.
And my friends never let me hear
the end of it again either.
Don't do the crime
if you can't do the time.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- There you go.
I'm sorry. It-It's bad,
but it doesn't
even come close to comparing.
It's worse.
Well, I got both you guys beat.
- Let's hear it.
- Yeah, bring it on.
Fifth grade.
Anthony Spoda sucker punches me
in the schoolyard.
- Oh.
- Oh.
I remember that.
You came home looking
like a bruised fruit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Exactly.
So, I go to Dad, show him my shiner
and what does he do?
You put ice on it?
Uh, no.
He sent him out of the house
to go face that kid.
- No!
- Except I had to walk
Jamie back to the kid's house to
make sure he didn't chicken out.
- What did you do?
- He knocks
on the lousy kid's door and says,
"You want to fight?
"Okay, let's fight. But this time,
let's make it fair."
I'm not sure my voice
was booming quite like that.
- It wasn't.
- But
- that was the gist.
- What happened?
Jamie sticks two jabs and a right cross.
Which he learned from me.
Knocks him out immediately.
Wait, how do you know the story?
I get to hear it every time
the big guy drags me out
to the garage to hit the heavy bag.
And for the record,
your dad learned that move from me.
- Huh.
- Yes, I did.
A good teachable moment. Thank you.
And where, pray tell, did you
learn that move, Francis?
I'm pretty sure I picked it
up in the Marines, Pop.
Ho, ho, ho.
You are so full of malarkey
and you know it.
"Malarkey."
To victory.
To victory!
- To victory.
- Victory.
- Hear, hear.
- Victory.
Victory.