Celebrity Juice (2008) s13e06 Episode Script
Gino D'Acampo, Richard Osman, Denise Van Outen, Eamonn Holmes
Hi, I'm Keith Lemon, and these are my titles.
Plush or what? There's Holly Willough-booby coming out of a giant clam.
Still got dem bangers, boys.
There's Fearne Cotton with a bow and arrow.
Careful, that nearly went inside me! And there's Gino D'Acampo with a tiny willy.
We're all in heaven, but don't worry, we are not dead.
It's just an over-elaborate metaphor for how great the show is.
We're still here to make the best telly show on't telly.
What is that telly show on't telly? Celebrity Juice.
On't telly.
HD Ready.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Hiya! Yeah! Boom! Boom-boom-boom! Boom! Come on! Yes! Hurrah! Hello.
My name is Keith Lemon and welcome to Celebrity Juice.
This is the only time I get to hang out with the fittest birds on telly, let's meet them, first up, it's Holly Willough-booby! (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) Who's on your team? What's the situation, I'll tell you what the situation is.
Eamonn Holmes is here.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) Holly, Holly, Holly.
I've got to stop you there.
What? What situation? What situation? (CACKLES) What's the situation? A situation.
A situation.
A situation.
(IRISH ACCENT) A situation.
What's the situation? I'll tell you what the situation is It's Eamonn Holmes.
That better? And on my left, he's the quiz show host that's definitely not pointless.
It's Richard Osman.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) You all right, big lad? I'm very well, Keith.
Are you well? Yeah, I'm good.
You look well.
Yeah, yeah, I feel good about myself.
I don't care if I've got ginger hair.
I don't care! That's not ginger, that's sort of autumn sunset.
It's autumn sunset, so fuck you all.
(LAUGHTER) Let's meet our other team captain, it's Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) Fearne, who's on your team? Well, on my left is Gino Sheffield D'Acampo.
AUDIENCE: Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! And on my right, it's my old mucker off EastEnders, Denise Van Outen.
(CHEERING) (WOLF WHISTLING) She's your 'old mucker off EastEnders?' Yeah.
She is.
When were you in EastEnders? I wasn't.
She's my old mucker, we're old mates.
Yeah.
/fo Now she's in EastEnders, I should have put a comma in there.
You should have said, she's my old mucker who's now on EastEnders, not my old mucker from EastEnders, like you used to be on EastEnders.
Are you actually correcting the way she speaks? I am, Holly, yeah.
I thought it sounded like she was on EastEnders as well.
Oh, Shut up.
Here we go.
Did you think that I thought she had a part in EastEnders I will do it again.
I never make mistake when I'm the captain.
Shhh.
(LAUGHTER) Now, on my right, my old mucker - comma - who is also in EastEnders - it's Denise Van Outen! (CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) But she also said, "who is ALSO in EastEnders" as if she was in EastEnders.
Oh, God.
Don't you start.
I honestly don't remember Fearne being in EastEnders.
No, I can't remember You've got Gino in your team this week.
Normally, when Gino's on someone's team, they lose.
The ill-fated team.
Yeah.
It's been a nightmare, seriously.
I always used to win before but now it's gone on a bad bad run.
It's the sixth episode, that's something to celebrate, innit? So, we're gonna have a special twist to the end of the programme which is all in this envelope.
That's exciting, isn't it, Eamonn? Very exciting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't shit yourself.
I'll leave it there.
And all will be revealed at the end of the show.
Richard Osman, everyone! (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) Do you mind if I call you Rich? Er, yeah, go ahead.
Rich.
Do you mind if I call you Kee? You can call me Kee, yeah.
Lem.
The Lemster.
The Lemster, The Lemster.
Rich, you've made nearly 700 episodes of the massively successful quiz show Pointless.
Yeah.
For anyone who hasn't seen Pointless, what's the message? Well, the message is simply, it's a quiz show where you have to pick an answer that the fewest people can remember.
So you have to find the most obscure answer possible.
It's the opposite of Family Fortunes.
That's the peripherals of the show.
What's the message of the show? Oh, the message is stay off drugs, stay in school.
It's not a Pointless message, is it? Ha-ha.
I see what you did.
(LAUGHTER) You come across like a nice straight enough guy, but you do have a bad side, don't you? Oh, I've got a terrible dark side.
Is it true that you once got Bradley Walsh in a headlock and punched him in the cock because you hate The Chase so much? No, I got him in a cock-lock and punched him in the head.
(LAUGHTER) Hey, it's Denise Van Outen! (CHEERING) (WOLF-WHISTLING) Are you well? I'm good, thanks.
Are you all right? Long time no see.
I know, it's been a while.
It has, hasn' I haven't stopped thinking about you since.
I haven't, either.
I was just saying to Gino earlier.
If I had a pound for every time I've pumped fists to you, I'd have 753 quid.
Now you're in EastEnders.
Yep.
That's right.
Crazy times.
You're called Karen Smart.
Karin Smart.
Karin? Not Ka-ren? No.
When you're doing snogging, are you sort of the kind of actor who goes full tongue? I go for it, yeah.
Put the finger in the arse, feel the balls.
(LAUGHTER) What do you do with your tongue? Does it go back like a parrot? Or do you really get involved? Well, you can do.
Some actors like to.
What if it were Malcolm Smith? Erm I have done, actually I have done because I did a film with him.
Oh, you've done a film with him? Yeah.
I have done, yeah.
We have.
What were the romantic scenes with him like? Erm Did he go like this: "Oh, you sexy little (BLEEP).
" He did! "Look at you! Van Outen!" "Fucking weasle-tits.
" Is it true that you're really into golf? I like my golf, yeah.
(WOLF-WHISTLING) Look at the way you hold the golf bat.
Look how sexy you are playing golf.
Are you wiping your chuff there on the (LAUGHTER) Do you play golf, Eamonn? I'd play a round with her, I'll tell you that.
(LAUGHTER) No, we should do, we should go out and play - We should do, Does Ruth play? Thankfully, no.
It would just be the two of us.
It's Eamonn Holmes! (CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) Wa'gwan, bredbin, big up your chest! (LAUGHTER) How's it going? All right, yeah.
How's Ruth? (CHUCKLES) She'sshe'sshe's lovely, she's marvellous.
Well, she's always lovely, you know I've got a soft spot Well, I say 'soft' Erm.
Recently, you've been bragging about your sex life, haven't you? I've got the headline here.
That was in the Mail Online.
Do you know what? I hope that's true.
Because all you hear about is people in relationships, somebody's having an affair, at least you're shagging your own wife.
Yes! (CHEERING) That's good! She is a love machine, there's no doubt about it.
People say, why do you go on all these programmes? I just go out for a rest, that's all I do.
Is it also true that you're a big fan of Babestation? No.
Babestation are big fans of mine.
I have been to Babestation.
GINO: Where is the studio? (LAUGHTER) What happens is they start to sort of tweet me and direct me at around 6 o'clock in the morning.
They can only direct message you if you're following them.
Which I am doing but I didn't know I (APPLAUSE) Well, Eamonn, because you're such a big fan of Babestation, and you like reading the news, I've got a treat for you.
We're combining both of them.
What you think this is going to be called? Babe-Eamonn.
No, Eamonn-Station.
One politician said that we think that we can come from behind.
It is going to be hard, very hard.
(ITV NEWS TOLL) Go on, you sexy bastard.
The Navy have announced cuts in Portsmouth leaving unwanted seamen everywhere.
You've got to shake the phone to entice them.
(APPLAUSE) (ITN NEWS TOLL) Now football news.
Manchester United beat Manchester City despite Wayne Rooney being pulled off at half-time.
Here is a quick weather report, it is going to start off moist and then get very wet.
It is going to get soaking wet.
That's a point for his team.
Denise, have you ever been on a cruise with lots of celebrities and all of your celebrity friends have been Benjamin Buttoned and everyone turned into kids? Hi, I'm Keith Lemon.
Check this, I'm on a cruise with my celebrity makes.
We went through a Bermuda Triangle vortex type situation.
Everyone got turned into kids.
I was all right because I was in a lead lined toilet at the time having shit.
Today I am here with Arg from TOWIE.
I think that his belt buckle is made from lead because sometimes he turns into big Arg.
Do you just know about fizzy pop and cake? Can you turn yourself into big Arg? I think it worked.
What's happened is the mini celebrities have been on the Um-Bongo.
We need to get them over there but we have got nothing on our feet.
How are you, Prince? Yes, I am good, I have got new songs fr the future.
This is exciting, who will win, me or Arg? Who do you think wins? I don't understand what the challenge is.
We have got to get all the kids over to the other side so that they can release all the Um Bongo.
You just said that Arg had duck feet which made me think that he has webbed feet.
He doesn't literally have it.
He has been working out.
He looks like he could pick up a child.
Don't you think Arg? Yes, we are going to go for Arg.
/font I've got a feeling that you might do this on a night out with your mates.
You might be quite good at this.
Fern's seem say me and Holly's team says Arg.
Harry Stiles, Prince, Jennifer Lawrence Tom Cruise and Jeff Goblum.
Who's Jeff Goblum? Oh, you mean Jeff Goldblum.
On my team I have Kanye West, Katy Perry, Gordon Ramsay, Eminem and Fearne Cotton.
Come on.
Here you go.
Ow! Ow! (SUPERMAN THEME) So, Arg won.
I'm not playing.
That's a point to Holly's team.
We are going to an ad break now, see you in three.
Coming up after the break.
Go.
Hi.
Welcome back to a Celebrity Juice special.
It is special because you are here.
Eamonn, what are you like at picking your nose? Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I bet Ruth loves you, doesn't she? Can you get your fist up? With a bit of lubrication, yes.
It's time to play a game called Pick Your Nose.
I am going to show you a collection of noses, you have to select yours.
You've got ten second to do so.
If you get it on ten seconds you get ten points.
The seconds will go down.
If you get it within six seconds, you will get six points.
If you get it wrong, you will lose all the points.
Holly, you are first.
I'm going to show you four noses, you have 10 seconds, buzz in when you recognise your nose.
You buzzed in on seven seconds.
My nose is 'B'.
That is correct.
A bonus point if you can tell me what nose 'D' is.
Next up, it is Denise Van Outen.
You buzzed in at five seconds so if you get it right, you will get five points.
We think it is 'D'.
No, that is Zac Efron.
That is six seconds.
I think it is 'B'.
Let's see where your nose is.
Holly thought it was C.
Let's see who it was.
Judy Finnigan.
D, 100%.
Let's have a look.
Let's throw it over to Holly.
B.
Rich, you are playing for seven points.
I think that it is A.
It was another famous giant.
Let's throw it over to Fearne's team.
You are correct, you have some points.
I think that that is Ruth's nose.
That's not even funny.
Can we cut that out for Eamonn? He is a pal of mine.
No, it is going to be a trailer for the show.
Over to Fearne Cotton.
How well do you know your nose? Pick a nose, fuck knows.
Easy.
The one that you look more A.
It might be wrong.
Definitely.
The scores at the end of that round are 6-0.
Gino, I'm going to give you the opportunity to have your own round.
I want people to know that I have created a new show to jizz It is nice to have him in the corner.
It is like wind chimes or something.
It makes a nice noise in the breeze.
This game is to jazz things up.
I am using cool moves.
I have been working all week.
I don't want to blow my own crumpets Blow your own trumpet.
We do this properly.
This is Gino's kitchen game.
Hello, I am Gino and welcome to my wonderful game called shaky shaky, flaky, flaky.
Here is Denise Van Outen and Holly Willoughby.
Now, the game is very simple.
I put my box on your belt and what you have to do is thrust and put as many cornflakes out-of-the-box.
Put your hands behind your back and then you lean and thrust.
You just trust.
If you went on a night out and didn't make it home, you have your breakfast.
Where do you get your milk from? Fearne's tits.
Standby and listen to the klaxon.
There you go.
That's the way.
Two little girls at a disco, like when all the kids are dancing.
Let's have a look at the slow motion.
Do you know what slow motion font color=" Do you know what slo-mo stands for? Look at that.
Let's see who has got less cornflakes in the bag.
Oh, no.
It is very clear that is the winner is Denise Van Outen.
Well done, you've got 22 points.
Are you just making points up? I make my own points up.
You have got to -10.
Well done.
We're going to go to an ad break now.
I am going for a tiramisu, I will see you in two.
Coming up after the break Can I have my lucky comb back please? Hello, welcome back to Celebrity Juice.
Rich, you are so tall, aren't you? I am.
I'm about 6"2.
/ Yeah.
How tall are you? Six foot font color="#00ff I want to see the world through Richard Osmond's eyes.
You stand up now.
Wow.
Can you hear me? How does Holly look from up there? How are the roots? Do her roots look well? The roots look shit.
You do that add on telly, don't you? Your roots should be good.
font color="#ffff0 Rich, you know about three months ago, when I lent you my lucky comb? Can I have my lucky comb back, please? (WHISTLING THROUGH AIR) Thanks, Ritch.
I lent him a comb about two months ago and he kept it.
Buy your own.
What about my High School Musical DVD? Thanks.
You can sit down.
Isn't it weird when Rich is stood up he can't speak? He can't talk, can he? It's all to play for in this final round, it is the buzzer around.
Buzz in if you know the answer, if you don't know the answer, be a chancer.
Holly, what is your buzzer this week? 'This is pointless.
' That's Richard there, Rich, Ricardo.
The Lemster.
Fearne's team, what's your buzzer this week? (BUZZER)/fon You are doing the buzzer noises now, are you? Yes, why not? It's quite cute, isn't it? Buzzer.
First question, what did Britney Spears seem to do when an audience member called her a fat bitch this week at a gig? 'This is pointless.
' Holly's team.
Did she eat them?/fon No, she said 'Fucking asshole'.
I like it.
What did Zayn Malik shave this week? 'Buzzer.
' Fern's tea That's correct.
Why is Rachel Riley from countdown looking distressed here, in this picture? 'Buzzer.
' She's got two on the top and three on the bottom? 'This is pointless.
' It it because when the letters came out it spelt a rude word? Countdown.
What? Countdown.
Yes, Holly, you are right.
She had just got an erection.
That was it.
Oh, my God, this is pointless.
Gino D'Acampo.
A wisdom tooth.
What strange thing did Kanye West say happened to him when he visited the dentist? 'Oh my God, this is pointless.
' He stopped talking crap? He reportedly had laughing gas and it changed his views on everything.
What did Grimmie lose this week? Grimmie lost his voice.
After a 48-hour bender, allegedly.
I was on the bender.
You were on a bender? I was observing the bender.
(KLAXON) OK, that is the end of the buzz around and that is the end of celebrity juice.
I can tell you that the winner is Fearne's team.
Gino, how happy are you that you have actually won for the first time this series? I am very happy.
I did say at the beginning of the show that there would be a special twist.
The special twist is inside this envelope.
I will give it to Rich to read out.
Hi, I am Richard Osman from Pointless.
The aim of tonight's show was to get as few points as possible to win.
That means it is Holly's team.
Well done, we deserve that.
My name is Keith Lemon.
# BECK: Loser
Plush or what? There's Holly Willough-booby coming out of a giant clam.
Still got dem bangers, boys.
There's Fearne Cotton with a bow and arrow.
Careful, that nearly went inside me! And there's Gino D'Acampo with a tiny willy.
We're all in heaven, but don't worry, we are not dead.
It's just an over-elaborate metaphor for how great the show is.
We're still here to make the best telly show on't telly.
What is that telly show on't telly? Celebrity Juice.
On't telly.
HD Ready.
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) Hiya! Yeah! Boom! Boom-boom-boom! Boom! Come on! Yes! Hurrah! Hello.
My name is Keith Lemon and welcome to Celebrity Juice.
This is the only time I get to hang out with the fittest birds on telly, let's meet them, first up, it's Holly Willough-booby! (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) Who's on your team? What's the situation, I'll tell you what the situation is.
Eamonn Holmes is here.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) Holly, Holly, Holly.
I've got to stop you there.
What? What situation? What situation? (CACKLES) What's the situation? A situation.
A situation.
A situation.
(IRISH ACCENT) A situation.
What's the situation? I'll tell you what the situation is It's Eamonn Holmes.
That better? And on my left, he's the quiz show host that's definitely not pointless.
It's Richard Osman.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) You all right, big lad? I'm very well, Keith.
Are you well? Yeah, I'm good.
You look well.
Yeah, yeah, I feel good about myself.
I don't care if I've got ginger hair.
I don't care! That's not ginger, that's sort of autumn sunset.
It's autumn sunset, so fuck you all.
(LAUGHTER) Let's meet our other team captain, it's Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) Fearne, who's on your team? Well, on my left is Gino Sheffield D'Acampo.
AUDIENCE: Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino! And on my right, it's my old mucker off EastEnders, Denise Van Outen.
(CHEERING) (WOLF WHISTLING) She's your 'old mucker off EastEnders?' Yeah.
She is.
When were you in EastEnders? I wasn't.
She's my old mucker, we're old mates.
Yeah.
/fo Now she's in EastEnders, I should have put a comma in there.
You should have said, she's my old mucker who's now on EastEnders, not my old mucker from EastEnders, like you used to be on EastEnders.
Are you actually correcting the way she speaks? I am, Holly, yeah.
I thought it sounded like she was on EastEnders as well.
Oh, Shut up.
Here we go.
Did you think that I thought she had a part in EastEnders I will do it again.
I never make mistake when I'm the captain.
Shhh.
(LAUGHTER) Now, on my right, my old mucker - comma - who is also in EastEnders - it's Denise Van Outen! (CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) But she also said, "who is ALSO in EastEnders" as if she was in EastEnders.
Oh, God.
Don't you start.
I honestly don't remember Fearne being in EastEnders.
No, I can't remember You've got Gino in your team this week.
Normally, when Gino's on someone's team, they lose.
The ill-fated team.
Yeah.
It's been a nightmare, seriously.
I always used to win before but now it's gone on a bad bad run.
It's the sixth episode, that's something to celebrate, innit? So, we're gonna have a special twist to the end of the programme which is all in this envelope.
That's exciting, isn't it, Eamonn? Very exciting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't shit yourself.
I'll leave it there.
And all will be revealed at the end of the show.
Richard Osman, everyone! (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) Do you mind if I call you Rich? Er, yeah, go ahead.
Rich.
Do you mind if I call you Kee? You can call me Kee, yeah.
Lem.
The Lemster.
The Lemster, The Lemster.
Rich, you've made nearly 700 episodes of the massively successful quiz show Pointless.
Yeah.
For anyone who hasn't seen Pointless, what's the message? Well, the message is simply, it's a quiz show where you have to pick an answer that the fewest people can remember.
So you have to find the most obscure answer possible.
It's the opposite of Family Fortunes.
That's the peripherals of the show.
What's the message of the show? Oh, the message is stay off drugs, stay in school.
It's not a Pointless message, is it? Ha-ha.
I see what you did.
(LAUGHTER) You come across like a nice straight enough guy, but you do have a bad side, don't you? Oh, I've got a terrible dark side.
Is it true that you once got Bradley Walsh in a headlock and punched him in the cock because you hate The Chase so much? No, I got him in a cock-lock and punched him in the head.
(LAUGHTER) Hey, it's Denise Van Outen! (CHEERING) (WOLF-WHISTLING) Are you well? I'm good, thanks.
Are you all right? Long time no see.
I know, it's been a while.
It has, hasn' I haven't stopped thinking about you since.
I haven't, either.
I was just saying to Gino earlier.
If I had a pound for every time I've pumped fists to you, I'd have 753 quid.
Now you're in EastEnders.
Yep.
That's right.
Crazy times.
You're called Karen Smart.
Karin Smart.
Karin? Not Ka-ren? No.
When you're doing snogging, are you sort of the kind of actor who goes full tongue? I go for it, yeah.
Put the finger in the arse, feel the balls.
(LAUGHTER) What do you do with your tongue? Does it go back like a parrot? Or do you really get involved? Well, you can do.
Some actors like to.
What if it were Malcolm Smith? Erm I have done, actually I have done because I did a film with him.
Oh, you've done a film with him? Yeah.
I have done, yeah.
We have.
What were the romantic scenes with him like? Erm Did he go like this: "Oh, you sexy little (BLEEP).
" He did! "Look at you! Van Outen!" "Fucking weasle-tits.
" Is it true that you're really into golf? I like my golf, yeah.
(WOLF-WHISTLING) Look at the way you hold the golf bat.
Look how sexy you are playing golf.
Are you wiping your chuff there on the (LAUGHTER) Do you play golf, Eamonn? I'd play a round with her, I'll tell you that.
(LAUGHTER) No, we should do, we should go out and play - We should do, Does Ruth play? Thankfully, no.
It would just be the two of us.
It's Eamonn Holmes! (CHEERING) (APPLAUSE) Wa'gwan, bredbin, big up your chest! (LAUGHTER) How's it going? All right, yeah.
How's Ruth? (CHUCKLES) She'sshe'sshe's lovely, she's marvellous.
Well, she's always lovely, you know I've got a soft spot Well, I say 'soft' Erm.
Recently, you've been bragging about your sex life, haven't you? I've got the headline here.
That was in the Mail Online.
Do you know what? I hope that's true.
Because all you hear about is people in relationships, somebody's having an affair, at least you're shagging your own wife.
Yes! (CHEERING) That's good! She is a love machine, there's no doubt about it.
People say, why do you go on all these programmes? I just go out for a rest, that's all I do.
Is it also true that you're a big fan of Babestation? No.
Babestation are big fans of mine.
I have been to Babestation.
GINO: Where is the studio? (LAUGHTER) What happens is they start to sort of tweet me and direct me at around 6 o'clock in the morning.
They can only direct message you if you're following them.
Which I am doing but I didn't know I (APPLAUSE) Well, Eamonn, because you're such a big fan of Babestation, and you like reading the news, I've got a treat for you.
We're combining both of them.
What you think this is going to be called? Babe-Eamonn.
No, Eamonn-Station.
One politician said that we think that we can come from behind.
It is going to be hard, very hard.
(ITV NEWS TOLL) Go on, you sexy bastard.
The Navy have announced cuts in Portsmouth leaving unwanted seamen everywhere.
You've got to shake the phone to entice them.
(APPLAUSE) (ITN NEWS TOLL) Now football news.
Manchester United beat Manchester City despite Wayne Rooney being pulled off at half-time.
Here is a quick weather report, it is going to start off moist and then get very wet.
It is going to get soaking wet.
That's a point for his team.
Denise, have you ever been on a cruise with lots of celebrities and all of your celebrity friends have been Benjamin Buttoned and everyone turned into kids? Hi, I'm Keith Lemon.
Check this, I'm on a cruise with my celebrity makes.
We went through a Bermuda Triangle vortex type situation.
Everyone got turned into kids.
I was all right because I was in a lead lined toilet at the time having shit.
Today I am here with Arg from TOWIE.
I think that his belt buckle is made from lead because sometimes he turns into big Arg.
Do you just know about fizzy pop and cake? Can you turn yourself into big Arg? I think it worked.
What's happened is the mini celebrities have been on the Um-Bongo.
We need to get them over there but we have got nothing on our feet.
How are you, Prince? Yes, I am good, I have got new songs fr the future.
This is exciting, who will win, me or Arg? Who do you think wins? I don't understand what the challenge is.
We have got to get all the kids over to the other side so that they can release all the Um Bongo.
You just said that Arg had duck feet which made me think that he has webbed feet.
He doesn't literally have it.
He has been working out.
He looks like he could pick up a child.
Don't you think Arg? Yes, we are going to go for Arg.
/font I've got a feeling that you might do this on a night out with your mates.
You might be quite good at this.
Fern's seem say me and Holly's team says Arg.
Harry Stiles, Prince, Jennifer Lawrence Tom Cruise and Jeff Goblum.
Who's Jeff Goblum? Oh, you mean Jeff Goldblum.
On my team I have Kanye West, Katy Perry, Gordon Ramsay, Eminem and Fearne Cotton.
Come on.
Here you go.
Ow! Ow! (SUPERMAN THEME) So, Arg won.
I'm not playing.
That's a point to Holly's team.
We are going to an ad break now, see you in three.
Coming up after the break.
Go.
Hi.
Welcome back to a Celebrity Juice special.
It is special because you are here.
Eamonn, what are you like at picking your nose? Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I bet Ruth loves you, doesn't she? Can you get your fist up? With a bit of lubrication, yes.
It's time to play a game called Pick Your Nose.
I am going to show you a collection of noses, you have to select yours.
You've got ten second to do so.
If you get it on ten seconds you get ten points.
The seconds will go down.
If you get it within six seconds, you will get six points.
If you get it wrong, you will lose all the points.
Holly, you are first.
I'm going to show you four noses, you have 10 seconds, buzz in when you recognise your nose.
You buzzed in on seven seconds.
My nose is 'B'.
That is correct.
A bonus point if you can tell me what nose 'D' is.
Next up, it is Denise Van Outen.
You buzzed in at five seconds so if you get it right, you will get five points.
We think it is 'D'.
No, that is Zac Efron.
That is six seconds.
I think it is 'B'.
Let's see where your nose is.
Holly thought it was C.
Let's see who it was.
Judy Finnigan.
D, 100%.
Let's have a look.
Let's throw it over to Holly.
B.
Rich, you are playing for seven points.
I think that it is A.
It was another famous giant.
Let's throw it over to Fearne's team.
You are correct, you have some points.
I think that that is Ruth's nose.
That's not even funny.
Can we cut that out for Eamonn? He is a pal of mine.
No, it is going to be a trailer for the show.
Over to Fearne Cotton.
How well do you know your nose? Pick a nose, fuck knows.
Easy.
The one that you look more A.
It might be wrong.
Definitely.
The scores at the end of that round are 6-0.
Gino, I'm going to give you the opportunity to have your own round.
I want people to know that I have created a new show to jizz It is nice to have him in the corner.
It is like wind chimes or something.
It makes a nice noise in the breeze.
This game is to jazz things up.
I am using cool moves.
I have been working all week.
I don't want to blow my own crumpets Blow your own trumpet.
We do this properly.
This is Gino's kitchen game.
Hello, I am Gino and welcome to my wonderful game called shaky shaky, flaky, flaky.
Here is Denise Van Outen and Holly Willoughby.
Now, the game is very simple.
I put my box on your belt and what you have to do is thrust and put as many cornflakes out-of-the-box.
Put your hands behind your back and then you lean and thrust.
You just trust.
If you went on a night out and didn't make it home, you have your breakfast.
Where do you get your milk from? Fearne's tits.
Standby and listen to the klaxon.
There you go.
That's the way.
Two little girls at a disco, like when all the kids are dancing.
Let's have a look at the slow motion.
Do you know what slow motion font color=" Do you know what slo-mo stands for? Look at that.
Let's see who has got less cornflakes in the bag.
Oh, no.
It is very clear that is the winner is Denise Van Outen.
Well done, you've got 22 points.
Are you just making points up? I make my own points up.
You have got to -10.
Well done.
We're going to go to an ad break now.
I am going for a tiramisu, I will see you in two.
Coming up after the break Can I have my lucky comb back please? Hello, welcome back to Celebrity Juice.
Rich, you are so tall, aren't you? I am.
I'm about 6"2.
/ Yeah.
How tall are you? Six foot font color="#00ff I want to see the world through Richard Osmond's eyes.
You stand up now.
Wow.
Can you hear me? How does Holly look from up there? How are the roots? Do her roots look well? The roots look shit.
You do that add on telly, don't you? Your roots should be good.
font color="#ffff0 Rich, you know about three months ago, when I lent you my lucky comb? Can I have my lucky comb back, please? (WHISTLING THROUGH AIR) Thanks, Ritch.
I lent him a comb about two months ago and he kept it.
Buy your own.
What about my High School Musical DVD? Thanks.
You can sit down.
Isn't it weird when Rich is stood up he can't speak? He can't talk, can he? It's all to play for in this final round, it is the buzzer around.
Buzz in if you know the answer, if you don't know the answer, be a chancer.
Holly, what is your buzzer this week? 'This is pointless.
' That's Richard there, Rich, Ricardo.
The Lemster.
Fearne's team, what's your buzzer this week? (BUZZER)/fon You are doing the buzzer noises now, are you? Yes, why not? It's quite cute, isn't it? Buzzer.
First question, what did Britney Spears seem to do when an audience member called her a fat bitch this week at a gig? 'This is pointless.
' Holly's team.
Did she eat them?/fon No, she said 'Fucking asshole'.
I like it.
What did Zayn Malik shave this week? 'Buzzer.
' Fern's tea That's correct.
Why is Rachel Riley from countdown looking distressed here, in this picture? 'Buzzer.
' She's got two on the top and three on the bottom? 'This is pointless.
' It it because when the letters came out it spelt a rude word? Countdown.
What? Countdown.
Yes, Holly, you are right.
She had just got an erection.
That was it.
Oh, my God, this is pointless.
Gino D'Acampo.
A wisdom tooth.
What strange thing did Kanye West say happened to him when he visited the dentist? 'Oh my God, this is pointless.
' He stopped talking crap? He reportedly had laughing gas and it changed his views on everything.
What did Grimmie lose this week? Grimmie lost his voice.
After a 48-hour bender, allegedly.
I was on the bender.
You were on a bender? I was observing the bender.
(KLAXON) OK, that is the end of the buzz around and that is the end of celebrity juice.
I can tell you that the winner is Fearne's team.
Gino, how happy are you that you have actually won for the first time this series? I am very happy.
I did say at the beginning of the show that there would be a special twist.
The special twist is inside this envelope.
I will give it to Rich to read out.
Hi, I am Richard Osman from Pointless.
The aim of tonight's show was to get as few points as possible to win.
That means it is Holly's team.
Well done, we deserve that.
My name is Keith Lemon.
# BECK: Loser