Doctor Who (1963) s16e01 Episode Script
The Ribos Operation, Part One
(DOCTOR WHO THEME) Master? It works, K9.
It works.
Listen.
-I've got a little surprise for you.
-Master? -You and I are going away on holiday.
-Affirmative.
-A nice long holiday.
-Affirmative.
-Would you like that, K9? -Affirmative, affirmative (SHUSHING) Halergan 3 is lovely, K9.
You'll really like it.
Beaches, palm trees, sunshine all day.
Hot and MALE VOICE: Doctor.
Yes? Your presence is required.
Look Listen, I don't wish to appear rude, but Who are you? Do you really need to ask, Doctor? Well, only a guardian Oh, I see.
Well, in that case, sir You will come to no harm.
Just as you say.
Doctor, you have been chosen for a vitally important task.
That's very flattering, sir.
It concerns the Key to Time.
You know of the Key to Time? Well, I've heard a few stories, legends, myths, that sort of thing.
-It is no myth.
-Sorry, sir.
The Key to Time is a perfect cube which maintains the equilibrium of time itself.
It consists of six segments, and these segments are scattered and hidden throughout the cosmos.
When they are assembled into the cube, they create a power which is too dangerous for any being to possess.
-Well hidden, then, I hope, sir.
-Hmm.
There are times, Doctor, when the forces within the universe upset the balance to such an extent that it becomes necessary to stop everything.
-Stop everything? -For a brief moment only.
Ah! Until the balance is restored.
Such a moment is rapidly approaching.
These segments must be traced and returned to me before it is too late, before the universe is plunged into eternal chaos.
Eternal chaos? Eternal as you understand the term.
I'm sure there must be plenty of other Time Lords who'd be delighted I have chosen you.
Yes, I was afraid you'd say something like that.
Ah, you want me to volunteer.
Isn't that it? Precisely.
And if I don't? -Nothing.
-Nothing? -You mean nothing will happen to me? -Nothing at all.
Ever.
Ah.
What do they look like, these segments? How will I know them? -They're all disguised.
-Yes, I thought they might be.
They contain the elemental force of the universe.
They can be in any shape, form or size.
-Then how will I recognise them? -You will be given a locator.
-Thank you.
-And an assistant.
An assistant? Please, sir, on an assignment like this, I'd much rather work alone.
In my experience, assistants mean trouble.
I have to protect them and show them and teach them.
Couldn't I just Couldn't I just manage with K9? -K9 is a mere machine.
-He's a very sensitive machine! Sorry, sir.
You will find your assistant waiting for you in the Tardis.
Very well, sir, if you insist.
-One final thing, Doctor.
-Yes? I am the White Guardian.
In order to maintain the universal balance, there is also a Black Guardian.
And he also requires the Key to Time, but for a different purpose, an evil purpose.
He must not get it.
Doctor, at all costs, you must prevent that.
How am I to prevent that? -Beware the Black Guardian.
-Beware the Black Guardian.
Beware.
Beware.
-I'm so sorry, K9, the holiday's off.
-WOMAN: Doctor? (WHISPERING) That's the new assistant.
My name is Romanadvoratrelundar.
I'm so sorry about that.
Is there anything we can do? The President of the Supreme Council sent me.
I was told to give you this.
What's this? According to my instructions, it's the core to the Key of Time.
-Ah.
-Very exciting, isn't it? Yes, I suppose it must be for someone as young and inexperienced as you are.
I may be inexperienced, but I did graduate from the Academy with a triple first.
(LAUGHS) I suppose you think we should we be impressed by that, too? Well, it's better than scraping through with 51 % at the second attempt.
That information is confidential! That president! I should have thrown him to the Sontarans when I had the chance.
-Do you want to know how that works? -I know how it works.
You have to plug it into your Tardis controls, just there.
A hole.
-What's a hole doing in my Tardis? -I put it there.
You You put a hole in my Never mind, old girl.
Never mind.
I'll soon have it fixed.
When plugged into the control console, the core indicates the space-time coordinates of each segment of the Key.
Oh, that's clever.
That's very clever.
-Ah, 4180.
-I'll look up the coordinates, shall I? There's no need.
Don't you want to know what planet it is? I know.
Cyrrhenis Minima.
-Oh.
-Just a matter of experience, you see.
-Yes, of course.
-What else does it do? Well, it locates the segment at close range once we've landed on the appropriate planet.
Uh-huh.
Well, that could be very useful.
And then, when it's brought into contact with a disguised segment, it converts it back into its proper form.
-What would you like me to do? -Well I'd like you to stay out of my way as much as possible and try and keep out of trouble.
I don't suppose you can make tea? -Tea? -No, I don't suppose you can.
They don't teach you anything useful at the Academy, do they? Gadgets and gimmickry.
Never touch Never trust gimmicky gadgets.
-That's hardly a gimmick, Doctor.
-Uh-uh.
What? Look.
The coordinates have changed, they're different already.
Unstoffe! Unstoffe, you blithering idiot! Give me a hand! UNSTOFFE: Don't tread on the edge, it's slippery.
Not only slippery, it's perishing cold.
Now, come on.
Let's get cracking.
Now, quiet.
If we get caught up here (BELL TOLLING) -The curfew.
-Yeah.
The moment it stops, drop the meat.
(SNARLING) -You sure that'll work? -Don't worry.
The ladder.
Come on.
Get the grapples on, that's right.
-The other one.
-Right.
Drop it.
That's the idea.
(SNARLING) Why is it always me? Why do I always get these jobs? You're young, I'm too old to go down there.
I want a chance to be old, too! Do you think at your age I wouldn't have climbed down there? Without the ladder, I'd have gone.
I love danger.
Ah! Now you admit it, it is dangerous.
Don't make me lose faith in you, my boy.
Now, it's time you went.
(SIGHING) -Have you got the jethrik? -Of course.
Well, don't drop it whatever.
Guard it with your life.
-What? -I mean, just guard it.
Remember its value.
(BEAST GROWLING) You're sulking.
I'm not sulking.
That's ridiculous for somebody as old as you are.
-I'm not old! -(SCOFFS) -What? -759.
-it's just mature.
-You've lost count somewhere.
I ought to know my own age! Yes, but after the first few centuries, I expect things get a bit foggy, don't they? Now, listen.
It's no good, this isn't going to work.
Doctor, you're not giving me a chance.
It's funny, you know, but before I met you, I was even willing to be impressed.
-Indeed? -Oh, yes.
Of course, now I realise that your behaviour simply derives from a sub-transitory experiential hypertoid-induced condition, aggravated, I expect, by multi-encephalogical tensions.
What's that supposed to mean? Well, to put it very simply, Doctor, you're suffering from a massive compensation syndrome.
Is that the sort of rubbish they're pouring into your head at the Academy? Do you know, I might even use your case in my thesis I'll show you whether I'm suffering from a massive compensation syndrome.
And you're not going back to Gallifrey, not for a long time yet, I regret to say! Read out those coordinates again.
Same as before.
Distance? Must be the planet of Ribos.
If it changes again while we're in the vortex, we could lose it.
-On the other hand -Oh, take a chance.
-I'll make the decisions here.
-Well, what shall we do? We'll take a chance.
(BLEEPING) Yes, what is it, Garron? The Graff Vynda-K is arriving.
I've got to go and meet him.
GARRON: This is Blue 40 signing off.
Wilco, Graham, out.
Roger.
It's ''Roger'', you stupid old Blue 40.
Allow me to present my credentials.
Can't we get out of this wind first? It's cutting through me like a laser.
I have quarters prepared for Your Highness, but your escort What about them? Well, my letter did stress the necessity for discretion.
I mean, soldiers stamping about, you know.
The Graff never travels without his personal guard.
Please! These are primitive people, easily panicked.
If you frighten them, they could turn very nasty.
We don't want any unpleasantness at this stage, do we? Oh, let's get inside.
Send the guard back, Sholakh.
Highness.
Royal guard, return to your ship.
Dismiss! This way, Highness, if you'd be so kind.
(WHOOSHING) (CHUCKLING) Fresh! It's bitter.
If you can't stand the cold, stay out of the freezer.
-Which way? -What? -Well, you've got the core.
-Oh, yes.
(TRACER CLICKING) -Through there.
It's a strong signal.
-Good, now pay attention.
I'm not anticipating any trouble but it's as well to be prepared for these things.
Ground rules.
Rule one, do exactly as I say.
Rule two, stick close to me.
And rule three, let me do all the talking.
-Is that perfectly clear? -You couldn't make it clearer.
Good.
One more thing, your name.
-What about my name? -It's too long.
By the time I've called out, ''Look out'' What's your name? Romanadvoratrelundar.
By the time I've called that out, you could be dead.
I'll call you Romana.
I don't like Romana.
It's either Romana or Fred.
-All right, call me Fred.
-Good.
Come on, Romana.
-Here, try that for size.
-Oh.
The secret of survival is always to expect the unexpected.
(DOCTOR YELLING) Ow! Ah! I think this is to stop animals wandering into the city at night.
There's a cocking lever just below the keystone.
Yes, I wondered if you'd notice that.
That's good.
That's very good.
Ribos orbits its sun elliptically, so its climate is one of extremes.
For the natives, the seasons are called Icetime and Suntime.
How long are the seasons? Approximately 32 of your years, Highness.
Unfortunately, of course, you're not seeing the planet at its best just now.
If I bought it, Garron, it would not be my intention to spend a lot of time here.
For someone in your exalted position, Highness, I should've thought it would've made an ideal second home.
I get very few properties so central and so convenient.
Only three light centuries from the Magellanic Clouds.
-Is Shur the only city? -The principal city.
There are several settlements to the north, though I've never seen them.
Incidentally, if anybody asks you where we're from, just say the north.
I've arranged a travel pass in case of any problems.
-Do they know anything of other worlds? -Nothing, Highness.
They know that this planet is within the Greater Cyrrhenic Empire and that they are protected by the force of the Alliance? Beyond their comprehension.
They're only primitive, brutish peasants, you see.
The property becomes more unattractive every minute.
There is a great demand for planets that are completely unspoiled and so central.
There are very few of them coming on the market today.
A predictable reply, Garron, you're interested in making a sale.
And you are interested in buying, Highness, or you would not be here.
So we're really discussing how much you're willing to pay.
Am I right? A great deal less than the 10 million opeks you're asking.
The Magellanic Mining Conglomerate set that valuation.
But you are empowered to accept an offer? I'll leave the documents of title and mortmain with you for you to read.
And tomorrow, if you're still interested, it will be my pleasure to show you over the city.
Until then, may you rest in peace.
I think he'll take six million.
Highness, this is interesting.
What is it? The Conglomerate's mineralogical survey.
It's almost 50 years ago, that's soon after they acquired title.
''Bismuth, cadmium, iron'' -Jethrik! -What is it, Highness? ''.
0001% of mass.
'' That's not possible, Sholakh, it must be a mistake.
Highness.
Jethrik, the rarest and most valuable element in the galaxy.
As you say, a mistake.
If it were true, the Conglomerate would not selling.
Ah, but wait, there's a condition.
''Whilst relinquishing freehold and suzerainty in the planet Ribos, ''in the constellation of Scytha, Magellanic Mining etcetera, etcetera, ''retains to itself, its subsidiaries and appointed agents ''the exploitation of the mineral wealth of the said planet in perpetuity.
'' They know about it, Sholakh! Does this affect your Highness's plans? Sholakh, jethrik could guarantee success and quicker than ever seemed possible.
GRAFF: (OVER DEVICE) This planet contains a fortune, don't you see? And all we have to do is dig it out.
Good thinking, Graff.
(FOOTSTEPS) -Extraordinary.
-What is? Well, you heard.
Obviously just a ritual greeting and reassurance.
But he said in a Somerset accent.
Somerset's one of the Earth counties.
Ah, but there's no space service to Ribos, Doctor.
According to Bartholomew's Planetary Gazetteer, it has a protected class three society.
So there can't be any Earth aliens on Ribos.
Maybe he's a cricket scout.
They could do with a good leg-spinner.
-What's that supposed to mean? -What? Nothing, nothing.
Remember rule one.
Come on.
Highness, we must not lose sight of our plan.
Do you think I ever shall? Do you think I can rest for one moment until I have won back the Levithian crown which is mine by right? Everything Everything must be subordinate to that purpose.
Forgive me, Highness, I know that nothing will ever weaken your resolve.
Correct, Sholakh.
But it would seem that providence has placed in my hand a weapon already forged.
I don't understand.
Sholakh, this planet is ideally placed for use as a forward base.
But to give it technology, to train primitives in a thousand skills, to raise a battle fleet with which to conquer our homeland would be the work of a lifetime.
There's no better way to spend a lifetime, Highness.
But if we can find this jethrik, if we mine it and sell it, we could hire an army and 100 battle cruisers.
-You mean from outside the Alliance? -Of course! Pontonese ships, mercenaries from Shalankie.
Why, it might not even be necessary to sell the jethrik.
We could trade with them directly.
Oh, dangerous if it came to the ears of the Alliance.
The time saved would be worth the risk.
(TRACER CLICKING) It's something through there.
(SNORING) Did they teach you anything about locks at the Academy? No, of course not.
Sonic screwdriver.
You'll like this.
Keep an eye on the sentry.
Why? Sleeping on duty's a serious offence.
If anyone comes, you can wake him up.
You do know that sarcasm's an adjustive stress reaction? -Very impressive.
-It's nothing.
Ceremonial regalia, sacred relics.
-Must be the state strongroom.
-Hmm.
-Magnificent jewellery.
-Never mind that.
Just find the segment, it'll be daylight soon.
-It's something in here.
-Good.
Let's locate it, convert it and get out of here before the locals wake up.
(BELLS TOLLING) Top of the morning to you, my friend.
Why's it taking so long? Because they're multi-levered interlocks.
Well, get on with it, then.
Get on with it? Get Get Gee, you might as well finish it off.
Any more of that stuff, and I'll not be able to blow the Shrieven Shrievenzale in for its feed.
-Here, let me give you a hand.
-Thanks.
Is the beast waiting there already? I I I can't see! My eyes.
(HORN BLOWING) One more lock to go.
Right, lower away.
(CREAKING) -Doctor! -Romana? Doctor, I'm over here.
(GROANING) Quickly! Doctor, do something! (ROARING)
It works.
Listen.
-I've got a little surprise for you.
-Master? -You and I are going away on holiday.
-Affirmative.
-A nice long holiday.
-Affirmative.
-Would you like that, K9? -Affirmative, affirmative (SHUSHING) Halergan 3 is lovely, K9.
You'll really like it.
Beaches, palm trees, sunshine all day.
Hot and MALE VOICE: Doctor.
Yes? Your presence is required.
Look Listen, I don't wish to appear rude, but Who are you? Do you really need to ask, Doctor? Well, only a guardian Oh, I see.
Well, in that case, sir You will come to no harm.
Just as you say.
Doctor, you have been chosen for a vitally important task.
That's very flattering, sir.
It concerns the Key to Time.
You know of the Key to Time? Well, I've heard a few stories, legends, myths, that sort of thing.
-It is no myth.
-Sorry, sir.
The Key to Time is a perfect cube which maintains the equilibrium of time itself.
It consists of six segments, and these segments are scattered and hidden throughout the cosmos.
When they are assembled into the cube, they create a power which is too dangerous for any being to possess.
-Well hidden, then, I hope, sir.
-Hmm.
There are times, Doctor, when the forces within the universe upset the balance to such an extent that it becomes necessary to stop everything.
-Stop everything? -For a brief moment only.
Ah! Until the balance is restored.
Such a moment is rapidly approaching.
These segments must be traced and returned to me before it is too late, before the universe is plunged into eternal chaos.
Eternal chaos? Eternal as you understand the term.
I'm sure there must be plenty of other Time Lords who'd be delighted I have chosen you.
Yes, I was afraid you'd say something like that.
Ah, you want me to volunteer.
Isn't that it? Precisely.
And if I don't? -Nothing.
-Nothing? -You mean nothing will happen to me? -Nothing at all.
Ever.
Ah.
What do they look like, these segments? How will I know them? -They're all disguised.
-Yes, I thought they might be.
They contain the elemental force of the universe.
They can be in any shape, form or size.
-Then how will I recognise them? -You will be given a locator.
-Thank you.
-And an assistant.
An assistant? Please, sir, on an assignment like this, I'd much rather work alone.
In my experience, assistants mean trouble.
I have to protect them and show them and teach them.
Couldn't I just Couldn't I just manage with K9? -K9 is a mere machine.
-He's a very sensitive machine! Sorry, sir.
You will find your assistant waiting for you in the Tardis.
Very well, sir, if you insist.
-One final thing, Doctor.
-Yes? I am the White Guardian.
In order to maintain the universal balance, there is also a Black Guardian.
And he also requires the Key to Time, but for a different purpose, an evil purpose.
He must not get it.
Doctor, at all costs, you must prevent that.
How am I to prevent that? -Beware the Black Guardian.
-Beware the Black Guardian.
Beware.
Beware.
-I'm so sorry, K9, the holiday's off.
-WOMAN: Doctor? (WHISPERING) That's the new assistant.
My name is Romanadvoratrelundar.
I'm so sorry about that.
Is there anything we can do? The President of the Supreme Council sent me.
I was told to give you this.
What's this? According to my instructions, it's the core to the Key of Time.
-Ah.
-Very exciting, isn't it? Yes, I suppose it must be for someone as young and inexperienced as you are.
I may be inexperienced, but I did graduate from the Academy with a triple first.
(LAUGHS) I suppose you think we should we be impressed by that, too? Well, it's better than scraping through with 51 % at the second attempt.
That information is confidential! That president! I should have thrown him to the Sontarans when I had the chance.
-Do you want to know how that works? -I know how it works.
You have to plug it into your Tardis controls, just there.
A hole.
-What's a hole doing in my Tardis? -I put it there.
You You put a hole in my Never mind, old girl.
Never mind.
I'll soon have it fixed.
When plugged into the control console, the core indicates the space-time coordinates of each segment of the Key.
Oh, that's clever.
That's very clever.
-Ah, 4180.
-I'll look up the coordinates, shall I? There's no need.
Don't you want to know what planet it is? I know.
Cyrrhenis Minima.
-Oh.
-Just a matter of experience, you see.
-Yes, of course.
-What else does it do? Well, it locates the segment at close range once we've landed on the appropriate planet.
Uh-huh.
Well, that could be very useful.
And then, when it's brought into contact with a disguised segment, it converts it back into its proper form.
-What would you like me to do? -Well I'd like you to stay out of my way as much as possible and try and keep out of trouble.
I don't suppose you can make tea? -Tea? -No, I don't suppose you can.
They don't teach you anything useful at the Academy, do they? Gadgets and gimmickry.
Never touch Never trust gimmicky gadgets.
-That's hardly a gimmick, Doctor.
-Uh-uh.
What? Look.
The coordinates have changed, they're different already.
Unstoffe! Unstoffe, you blithering idiot! Give me a hand! UNSTOFFE: Don't tread on the edge, it's slippery.
Not only slippery, it's perishing cold.
Now, come on.
Let's get cracking.
Now, quiet.
If we get caught up here (BELL TOLLING) -The curfew.
-Yeah.
The moment it stops, drop the meat.
(SNARLING) -You sure that'll work? -Don't worry.
The ladder.
Come on.
Get the grapples on, that's right.
-The other one.
-Right.
Drop it.
That's the idea.
(SNARLING) Why is it always me? Why do I always get these jobs? You're young, I'm too old to go down there.
I want a chance to be old, too! Do you think at your age I wouldn't have climbed down there? Without the ladder, I'd have gone.
I love danger.
Ah! Now you admit it, it is dangerous.
Don't make me lose faith in you, my boy.
Now, it's time you went.
(SIGHING) -Have you got the jethrik? -Of course.
Well, don't drop it whatever.
Guard it with your life.
-What? -I mean, just guard it.
Remember its value.
(BEAST GROWLING) You're sulking.
I'm not sulking.
That's ridiculous for somebody as old as you are.
-I'm not old! -(SCOFFS) -What? -759.
-it's just mature.
-You've lost count somewhere.
I ought to know my own age! Yes, but after the first few centuries, I expect things get a bit foggy, don't they? Now, listen.
It's no good, this isn't going to work.
Doctor, you're not giving me a chance.
It's funny, you know, but before I met you, I was even willing to be impressed.
-Indeed? -Oh, yes.
Of course, now I realise that your behaviour simply derives from a sub-transitory experiential hypertoid-induced condition, aggravated, I expect, by multi-encephalogical tensions.
What's that supposed to mean? Well, to put it very simply, Doctor, you're suffering from a massive compensation syndrome.
Is that the sort of rubbish they're pouring into your head at the Academy? Do you know, I might even use your case in my thesis I'll show you whether I'm suffering from a massive compensation syndrome.
And you're not going back to Gallifrey, not for a long time yet, I regret to say! Read out those coordinates again.
Same as before.
Distance? Must be the planet of Ribos.
If it changes again while we're in the vortex, we could lose it.
-On the other hand -Oh, take a chance.
-I'll make the decisions here.
-Well, what shall we do? We'll take a chance.
(BLEEPING) Yes, what is it, Garron? The Graff Vynda-K is arriving.
I've got to go and meet him.
GARRON: This is Blue 40 signing off.
Wilco, Graham, out.
Roger.
It's ''Roger'', you stupid old Blue 40.
Allow me to present my credentials.
Can't we get out of this wind first? It's cutting through me like a laser.
I have quarters prepared for Your Highness, but your escort What about them? Well, my letter did stress the necessity for discretion.
I mean, soldiers stamping about, you know.
The Graff never travels without his personal guard.
Please! These are primitive people, easily panicked.
If you frighten them, they could turn very nasty.
We don't want any unpleasantness at this stage, do we? Oh, let's get inside.
Send the guard back, Sholakh.
Highness.
Royal guard, return to your ship.
Dismiss! This way, Highness, if you'd be so kind.
(WHOOSHING) (CHUCKLING) Fresh! It's bitter.
If you can't stand the cold, stay out of the freezer.
-Which way? -What? -Well, you've got the core.
-Oh, yes.
(TRACER CLICKING) -Through there.
It's a strong signal.
-Good, now pay attention.
I'm not anticipating any trouble but it's as well to be prepared for these things.
Ground rules.
Rule one, do exactly as I say.
Rule two, stick close to me.
And rule three, let me do all the talking.
-Is that perfectly clear? -You couldn't make it clearer.
Good.
One more thing, your name.
-What about my name? -It's too long.
By the time I've called out, ''Look out'' What's your name? Romanadvoratrelundar.
By the time I've called that out, you could be dead.
I'll call you Romana.
I don't like Romana.
It's either Romana or Fred.
-All right, call me Fred.
-Good.
Come on, Romana.
-Here, try that for size.
-Oh.
The secret of survival is always to expect the unexpected.
(DOCTOR YELLING) Ow! Ah! I think this is to stop animals wandering into the city at night.
There's a cocking lever just below the keystone.
Yes, I wondered if you'd notice that.
That's good.
That's very good.
Ribos orbits its sun elliptically, so its climate is one of extremes.
For the natives, the seasons are called Icetime and Suntime.
How long are the seasons? Approximately 32 of your years, Highness.
Unfortunately, of course, you're not seeing the planet at its best just now.
If I bought it, Garron, it would not be my intention to spend a lot of time here.
For someone in your exalted position, Highness, I should've thought it would've made an ideal second home.
I get very few properties so central and so convenient.
Only three light centuries from the Magellanic Clouds.
-Is Shur the only city? -The principal city.
There are several settlements to the north, though I've never seen them.
Incidentally, if anybody asks you where we're from, just say the north.
I've arranged a travel pass in case of any problems.
-Do they know anything of other worlds? -Nothing, Highness.
They know that this planet is within the Greater Cyrrhenic Empire and that they are protected by the force of the Alliance? Beyond their comprehension.
They're only primitive, brutish peasants, you see.
The property becomes more unattractive every minute.
There is a great demand for planets that are completely unspoiled and so central.
There are very few of them coming on the market today.
A predictable reply, Garron, you're interested in making a sale.
And you are interested in buying, Highness, or you would not be here.
So we're really discussing how much you're willing to pay.
Am I right? A great deal less than the 10 million opeks you're asking.
The Magellanic Mining Conglomerate set that valuation.
But you are empowered to accept an offer? I'll leave the documents of title and mortmain with you for you to read.
And tomorrow, if you're still interested, it will be my pleasure to show you over the city.
Until then, may you rest in peace.
I think he'll take six million.
Highness, this is interesting.
What is it? The Conglomerate's mineralogical survey.
It's almost 50 years ago, that's soon after they acquired title.
''Bismuth, cadmium, iron'' -Jethrik! -What is it, Highness? ''.
0001% of mass.
'' That's not possible, Sholakh, it must be a mistake.
Highness.
Jethrik, the rarest and most valuable element in the galaxy.
As you say, a mistake.
If it were true, the Conglomerate would not selling.
Ah, but wait, there's a condition.
''Whilst relinquishing freehold and suzerainty in the planet Ribos, ''in the constellation of Scytha, Magellanic Mining etcetera, etcetera, ''retains to itself, its subsidiaries and appointed agents ''the exploitation of the mineral wealth of the said planet in perpetuity.
'' They know about it, Sholakh! Does this affect your Highness's plans? Sholakh, jethrik could guarantee success and quicker than ever seemed possible.
GRAFF: (OVER DEVICE) This planet contains a fortune, don't you see? And all we have to do is dig it out.
Good thinking, Graff.
(FOOTSTEPS) -Extraordinary.
-What is? Well, you heard.
Obviously just a ritual greeting and reassurance.
But he said in a Somerset accent.
Somerset's one of the Earth counties.
Ah, but there's no space service to Ribos, Doctor.
According to Bartholomew's Planetary Gazetteer, it has a protected class three society.
So there can't be any Earth aliens on Ribos.
Maybe he's a cricket scout.
They could do with a good leg-spinner.
-What's that supposed to mean? -What? Nothing, nothing.
Remember rule one.
Come on.
Highness, we must not lose sight of our plan.
Do you think I ever shall? Do you think I can rest for one moment until I have won back the Levithian crown which is mine by right? Everything Everything must be subordinate to that purpose.
Forgive me, Highness, I know that nothing will ever weaken your resolve.
Correct, Sholakh.
But it would seem that providence has placed in my hand a weapon already forged.
I don't understand.
Sholakh, this planet is ideally placed for use as a forward base.
But to give it technology, to train primitives in a thousand skills, to raise a battle fleet with which to conquer our homeland would be the work of a lifetime.
There's no better way to spend a lifetime, Highness.
But if we can find this jethrik, if we mine it and sell it, we could hire an army and 100 battle cruisers.
-You mean from outside the Alliance? -Of course! Pontonese ships, mercenaries from Shalankie.
Why, it might not even be necessary to sell the jethrik.
We could trade with them directly.
Oh, dangerous if it came to the ears of the Alliance.
The time saved would be worth the risk.
(TRACER CLICKING) It's something through there.
(SNORING) Did they teach you anything about locks at the Academy? No, of course not.
Sonic screwdriver.
You'll like this.
Keep an eye on the sentry.
Why? Sleeping on duty's a serious offence.
If anyone comes, you can wake him up.
You do know that sarcasm's an adjustive stress reaction? -Very impressive.
-It's nothing.
Ceremonial regalia, sacred relics.
-Must be the state strongroom.
-Hmm.
-Magnificent jewellery.
-Never mind that.
Just find the segment, it'll be daylight soon.
-It's something in here.
-Good.
Let's locate it, convert it and get out of here before the locals wake up.
(BELLS TOLLING) Top of the morning to you, my friend.
Why's it taking so long? Because they're multi-levered interlocks.
Well, get on with it, then.
Get on with it? Get Get Gee, you might as well finish it off.
Any more of that stuff, and I'll not be able to blow the Shrieven Shrievenzale in for its feed.
-Here, let me give you a hand.
-Thanks.
Is the beast waiting there already? I I I can't see! My eyes.
(HORN BLOWING) One more lock to go.
Right, lower away.
(CREAKING) -Doctor! -Romana? Doctor, I'm over here.
(GROANING) Quickly! Doctor, do something! (ROARING)