Doctor Who (1963) s17e21 Episode Script
Shada, Part One -
Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Wey! It's a museum! I've always felt at home in museums! Giant Robot! Beat you, cock! Cybermen! Beat you! Daleks! Beat you! Davros! I beat him as well.
I was irresistible in those days, irresistible.
Yeti.
Gunden Robot.
No, no, no.
Vervoid.
Sea Devil.
Krarg.
Krarg? SHADA! The untransmitted story.
Why wasn't it transmitted? Of course, we didn't finish it.
Starring Denis Carey and Christopher Neame.
Written by Douglas Adams.
I thought it was a very good script and there was an invisible space-ship.
Douglas said that anybody can design a visible space-ship but to design an invisible space-ship that need imagination.
Did he say that or did he say, I think he said genius? Yes, he said genius.
Poor old Douglas.
I wonder what became of him.
That's right.
Cambridge.
About 1979.
Ponting on the Cam.
There was a choir on the corner as I biked by, singing "Requiem" or some other train song.
Daniel Hill, I heard he become manager of a old people's home.
Or maybe he went into a old people home, I can't remember.
Or maybe he was always old.
I don't know.
And Victoria Burgoyne.
It was her first television and when she heard it was cancelled.
She was so unhappy.
She cried a lot.
We all cried a lot.
We were very sad.
Shada! Shada! Shada! This is a recorded message.
The foundation for the study for advanced sciences is under strict quarantine.
Do not approach.
Do not approach.
Everything is under our control.
Excuse me? Yeah? Do you know where P-14 is? Over there.
Thanks.
Come in.
Excuse the muddle.
Creative disarray you know.
Professor Chronotis? Tea? Oh thanks.
Just put the kettle on.
Er, Professor Chronotis, I don't know if you remember me, we met at a faculty party a few weeks ago.
It's Chris Parsons.
Oh yes, of course.
Enjoy those faculty dos, do you? Well, you know Lot of boring old dons talking away at each other, never listen to a word anybody else says.
Well, yes.
You said that Talk Talk Talk.
Never listen.
No, well I hope I'm not taking up your valuable Time? No no.
When you get to my age, you'll find that time doesn't matter too much.
Not that I expect you will get to my age.
Oh, really? Yes, I remember saying to the last Master of College but one, or was it the last but two? May have been three.
Three? Yes.
Nice young chap.
Died rather tragically at the age of Run over by a coach and pair.
What was it you said to him? Oh.
I don't know.
Long time ago you know.
Yes.
.
Er, Professor when we met, you were kind enough to say that if I dropped round you would lend me some of your books on carbon dating.
Oh yes.
Happy to.
Ah, there's the kettle.
You find the books you want at the far end of the bookshelf.
Third shelf down.
Or is it the second shelf down? Second I think.
Anyway, take what you want.
Milk? Oh.
Yes please.
One lump or two? Two please.
Sugar? Ah, Here we are.
Oh, actually Professor, I've just realised I'm going to be really late for a seminar.
I'm terribly sorry.
Look, I'll bring these back to you next week, is that alright? Oh, yes yes.
Well, good-bye.
Goodbye.
Er actually Professor, can I just ask you, where did you get that? That? I don't know.
I think someone must have left it there whilst I was out.
Yes, well, I'll bring these back as soon as I can Wordworth.
Brumford.
Christopher Smart.
Andrew Marvel.
Judge Jefferies.
Owen Chadwick? Who? Owen Chadwick.
Oh yes, one of the greatest labourers in history of Earth in the first era.
Newton, of course.
Oh, definitely Newton.
"For every action, there is a equal and opposite reaction.
" That's right.
So, Newton invented punting.
Oh yes, there was no limits to Isaac's genius.
Isn't it wonderful that something so primitive can be so Restful? No.
Simple.
You just push one way and the boat moves in the other.
Oh yes.
Oh, I do love the spring.
All the leaves and colours.
It's October.
I thought that you said we were coming here for May week.
I did.
May week in June.
I'm confused.
So was the TARDIS.
Oh, I do love the autumn.
All the leaves, the colours.
Yes.
Well, at least as something as simple as a punt nothing can go wrong.
No co - ordinates.
No dimensional stabilisers.
Nothing.
Just the water, a punt, a strong pair of hands and the pole.
Pole? Err.
I think it's about time that we go and see if the Professor is back in his room.
Ask me how.
How? For every action there is a equal and indifference reaction.
Did you just heard voices? What? Chris Parsons went to the lab and discovered that one of the books that he had borrowed was written in a totally unknown alphabet.
Here we are.
St.
Cedd's College, Cambridge.
Founded in the year something or other, by someone someone someone in honour of someone someone someone who's name escapes me completely.
St.
Cedd? Do you know I think it very probably right? You should be a historian.
I AM an historian.
Good afternoon Wilkin.
Good afternoon Doctor.
Wilkin! You remember me.
By yes, of course sir.
Took an honorary degree in 1960.
Yes.
How kind of you to remember me.
That's my job.
And you do it splendidly.
Now Professor Chronotis sir? He returned to his room a few minutes ago.
Oh good.
Good.
How did you know I wanted to speak to Professor Chronotis? That's who you asked to see when you were here in 1964, 1960 and 1955, sir.
Did I really.
I was also here in 1958.
Were you sir? Yes, but in a different body.
Yes, sir.
Come along, Doctor.
Nice to meet you, Wilkin.
Bye Bye.
Come in.
He'll ask us if we want tea.
Tea? Yes please.
Two cups.
Milk? Yes please.
One lump or two? Two please.
And two sugars.
Ah! Doctor, how splendid to see you! And you Professor.
This is Romana.
Ah delighted, delighted.
I've heard so much about you.
Have you? Well, not yet, but I'm sure I will have done.
When Time Lords get to my age they tend to get their tenses muddled up.
Would you liked some biscuits too? Well, I wouldn't have said no.
Crackers? Oh, sometimes.
Three hundred years? Yes my dear In the same set of rooms? Ever since I retired from Gallifrey.
Didn't anybody notice? One of the delights of the older Cambridge Colleges.
Everyone is so discreet.
Now Doctor young fellow.
What can I do for you? What can you do for me? What can I do for you? You sent for me.
Sent for you? I got your signal.
Signal? What signal? Romana.
Didn't we pick up a signal from the Professor? Would we come and see him as soon as possible.
Yes.
We come straight away.
I haven't sent you a signal.
But it's very splendid to see you.
Have another cracker.
Professor, if you didn't send that signal who did? You! You! Were you addressing me? I want Chronotis.
Professor Chronotis? Where is he? He will not want to be disturbed.
He is with the Doctor.
A very old A very old friend.
Wait! What for? I've had an idea about who might have sent that message? Who? Me! But you just said Yes, I know.
Memory's getting a bit touchy of late.
Doesn't like to be prodded about too much.
But my dear old things, It must been ages since I send it.
Told you'd got the time wrong Doctor.
I know, but you're always saying that.
Well you're always getting the time wrong.
Professor? Yes? What was it about Professor? What was what about? The message? I don't know.
You've seen it more recently than I have.
Was it to do with the voices? What voices? Well, When I was on the river I heard a strange sound, a sort of babble of inhuman voices.
Didn't you Romana? Yes.
Oh just undergraduates talking to each other I expect.
I've trying to have it banned No, no, no.
It wasn't like that at all.
It was the sound of human or ghosts, very quietly Screaming.
Yes.
Overwrought imaginings Doctor.
No, I remember what it was.
What? Delicate matter, slightly.
It was about a book And no sooner as Chris switched on the Spectrographic Analyser to examine the book then smoke start to pour out of it, and then he tried to x-ray the book which immediately started to glow.
Chris switched off the book, reached out for it, and hurt his hand.
I say Yes? Can I help you? Maybe you can.
Skagra opened the bag and the sphere emerged, attaching itself to the Driver's forehead.
The Driver, not surprisingly, passed out and Skagra took charge of the car.
Did you just hear voices? I think that I just heard voices.
Romana, Did you just hear voices? Yes, very faint this time.
Anything to do with that book, Professor? What? Oh no, no, no.
That's just a book I accidentally bought back with me from Gallifrey.
From Gallifrey?! You brought a book from Gallifrey to Cambridge.
Yes, just a few knick knacks you know.
And you know how I love my books, Doctor.
Professor, you just said that you brought it back by accident.
An oversight.
I overlooked the fact that I decided to bring it.
Just for study you know.
But as I'm now getting very old I thought That perhaps I thought that I'd take it back to Gallifrey for you.
Well now that I'm retired I'm not allowed to have a TARDIS.
Professor, I don't want to be critical but I will.
It very risky bringing books back from Gallifrey.
They could be terribly dangerous in the wrong hands.
Hmm.
"On some nights, New York was as hot as Bangkok.
" I'll read that.
Hm.
Saul Bellow.
"Once upon a time" Read that.
Ahh.
"And in the Great Days of Rassilon, five great principles were laid down.
Can you remember what they were, my children?" It's just a Gallifreyan Nursery Book.
I know.
I know.
I had it when I was a Time Tot! It's very good.
Oh, no no, that's just another momento.
Not the right book at all.
Now where is it? Is this the one? Oh dear no.
Where is it? I know it's here somewhere.
Professor? Professor? How many books did you bring for heaven's sake? Oh just the odd two or seven.
There's only one that's in any way Dangerous? Well what does it look like? What's it called? The Worshipful And Ancient Law Of Gallifrey.
The Worshipful And Ancient Law Of Gallifrey.
Yes.
Little book, about five by seven.
Professor, how did that book get out of the Panopticon Archives? Well, what I did you see is well, I just took it.
Took it? Well, no one interested in Ancient History on Gallifrey anymore.
And I thought that possibly certain things would be safer with me.
And were they? Well, in principle.
Excuse me.
Delicate situation, slightly.
Professor, that book dates back to the days of Rassillon Does it? Yes indeed It's one of the artefacts.
Is it? Indeed.
Professor, you know that perfectly well.
And you also know perfectly well that Rassillon had secrets and powers that even we don't fully understand.
You've no idea what might be hidden in that book.
Well there's not much chance of anyone else understanding it then is there? I only hope you're right.
But we better find it.
Romana? Yes? Little red book.
Five by seven.
Good.
Good.
Could be green.
In his invisible space-ship.
Skagra absorbed massive of information about me and then informed the Commander of the flag ship via the communicator that he would be joining him soon and that the universe should prepare itself.
The Commander ashore him that all was ready as his image solidified on the space-ship screen
I was irresistible in those days, irresistible.
Yeti.
Gunden Robot.
No, no, no.
Vervoid.
Sea Devil.
Krarg.
Krarg? SHADA! The untransmitted story.
Why wasn't it transmitted? Of course, we didn't finish it.
Starring Denis Carey and Christopher Neame.
Written by Douglas Adams.
I thought it was a very good script and there was an invisible space-ship.
Douglas said that anybody can design a visible space-ship but to design an invisible space-ship that need imagination.
Did he say that or did he say, I think he said genius? Yes, he said genius.
Poor old Douglas.
I wonder what became of him.
That's right.
Cambridge.
About 1979.
Ponting on the Cam.
There was a choir on the corner as I biked by, singing "Requiem" or some other train song.
Daniel Hill, I heard he become manager of a old people's home.
Or maybe he went into a old people home, I can't remember.
Or maybe he was always old.
I don't know.
And Victoria Burgoyne.
It was her first television and when she heard it was cancelled.
She was so unhappy.
She cried a lot.
We all cried a lot.
We were very sad.
Shada! Shada! Shada! This is a recorded message.
The foundation for the study for advanced sciences is under strict quarantine.
Do not approach.
Do not approach.
Everything is under our control.
Excuse me? Yeah? Do you know where P-14 is? Over there.
Thanks.
Come in.
Excuse the muddle.
Creative disarray you know.
Professor Chronotis? Tea? Oh thanks.
Just put the kettle on.
Er, Professor Chronotis, I don't know if you remember me, we met at a faculty party a few weeks ago.
It's Chris Parsons.
Oh yes, of course.
Enjoy those faculty dos, do you? Well, you know Lot of boring old dons talking away at each other, never listen to a word anybody else says.
Well, yes.
You said that Talk Talk Talk.
Never listen.
No, well I hope I'm not taking up your valuable Time? No no.
When you get to my age, you'll find that time doesn't matter too much.
Not that I expect you will get to my age.
Oh, really? Yes, I remember saying to the last Master of College but one, or was it the last but two? May have been three.
Three? Yes.
Nice young chap.
Died rather tragically at the age of Run over by a coach and pair.
What was it you said to him? Oh.
I don't know.
Long time ago you know.
Yes.
.
Er, Professor when we met, you were kind enough to say that if I dropped round you would lend me some of your books on carbon dating.
Oh yes.
Happy to.
Ah, there's the kettle.
You find the books you want at the far end of the bookshelf.
Third shelf down.
Or is it the second shelf down? Second I think.
Anyway, take what you want.
Milk? Oh.
Yes please.
One lump or two? Two please.
Sugar? Ah, Here we are.
Oh, actually Professor, I've just realised I'm going to be really late for a seminar.
I'm terribly sorry.
Look, I'll bring these back to you next week, is that alright? Oh, yes yes.
Well, good-bye.
Goodbye.
Er actually Professor, can I just ask you, where did you get that? That? I don't know.
I think someone must have left it there whilst I was out.
Yes, well, I'll bring these back as soon as I can Wordworth.
Brumford.
Christopher Smart.
Andrew Marvel.
Judge Jefferies.
Owen Chadwick? Who? Owen Chadwick.
Oh yes, one of the greatest labourers in history of Earth in the first era.
Newton, of course.
Oh, definitely Newton.
"For every action, there is a equal and opposite reaction.
" That's right.
So, Newton invented punting.
Oh yes, there was no limits to Isaac's genius.
Isn't it wonderful that something so primitive can be so Restful? No.
Simple.
You just push one way and the boat moves in the other.
Oh yes.
Oh, I do love the spring.
All the leaves and colours.
It's October.
I thought that you said we were coming here for May week.
I did.
May week in June.
I'm confused.
So was the TARDIS.
Oh, I do love the autumn.
All the leaves, the colours.
Yes.
Well, at least as something as simple as a punt nothing can go wrong.
No co - ordinates.
No dimensional stabilisers.
Nothing.
Just the water, a punt, a strong pair of hands and the pole.
Pole? Err.
I think it's about time that we go and see if the Professor is back in his room.
Ask me how.
How? For every action there is a equal and indifference reaction.
Did you just heard voices? What? Chris Parsons went to the lab and discovered that one of the books that he had borrowed was written in a totally unknown alphabet.
Here we are.
St.
Cedd's College, Cambridge.
Founded in the year something or other, by someone someone someone in honour of someone someone someone who's name escapes me completely.
St.
Cedd? Do you know I think it very probably right? You should be a historian.
I AM an historian.
Good afternoon Wilkin.
Good afternoon Doctor.
Wilkin! You remember me.
By yes, of course sir.
Took an honorary degree in 1960.
Yes.
How kind of you to remember me.
That's my job.
And you do it splendidly.
Now Professor Chronotis sir? He returned to his room a few minutes ago.
Oh good.
Good.
How did you know I wanted to speak to Professor Chronotis? That's who you asked to see when you were here in 1964, 1960 and 1955, sir.
Did I really.
I was also here in 1958.
Were you sir? Yes, but in a different body.
Yes, sir.
Come along, Doctor.
Nice to meet you, Wilkin.
Bye Bye.
Come in.
He'll ask us if we want tea.
Tea? Yes please.
Two cups.
Milk? Yes please.
One lump or two? Two please.
And two sugars.
Ah! Doctor, how splendid to see you! And you Professor.
This is Romana.
Ah delighted, delighted.
I've heard so much about you.
Have you? Well, not yet, but I'm sure I will have done.
When Time Lords get to my age they tend to get their tenses muddled up.
Would you liked some biscuits too? Well, I wouldn't have said no.
Crackers? Oh, sometimes.
Three hundred years? Yes my dear In the same set of rooms? Ever since I retired from Gallifrey.
Didn't anybody notice? One of the delights of the older Cambridge Colleges.
Everyone is so discreet.
Now Doctor young fellow.
What can I do for you? What can you do for me? What can I do for you? You sent for me.
Sent for you? I got your signal.
Signal? What signal? Romana.
Didn't we pick up a signal from the Professor? Would we come and see him as soon as possible.
Yes.
We come straight away.
I haven't sent you a signal.
But it's very splendid to see you.
Have another cracker.
Professor, if you didn't send that signal who did? You! You! Were you addressing me? I want Chronotis.
Professor Chronotis? Where is he? He will not want to be disturbed.
He is with the Doctor.
A very old A very old friend.
Wait! What for? I've had an idea about who might have sent that message? Who? Me! But you just said Yes, I know.
Memory's getting a bit touchy of late.
Doesn't like to be prodded about too much.
But my dear old things, It must been ages since I send it.
Told you'd got the time wrong Doctor.
I know, but you're always saying that.
Well you're always getting the time wrong.
Professor? Yes? What was it about Professor? What was what about? The message? I don't know.
You've seen it more recently than I have.
Was it to do with the voices? What voices? Well, When I was on the river I heard a strange sound, a sort of babble of inhuman voices.
Didn't you Romana? Yes.
Oh just undergraduates talking to each other I expect.
I've trying to have it banned No, no, no.
It wasn't like that at all.
It was the sound of human or ghosts, very quietly Screaming.
Yes.
Overwrought imaginings Doctor.
No, I remember what it was.
What? Delicate matter, slightly.
It was about a book And no sooner as Chris switched on the Spectrographic Analyser to examine the book then smoke start to pour out of it, and then he tried to x-ray the book which immediately started to glow.
Chris switched off the book, reached out for it, and hurt his hand.
I say Yes? Can I help you? Maybe you can.
Skagra opened the bag and the sphere emerged, attaching itself to the Driver's forehead.
The Driver, not surprisingly, passed out and Skagra took charge of the car.
Did you just hear voices? I think that I just heard voices.
Romana, Did you just hear voices? Yes, very faint this time.
Anything to do with that book, Professor? What? Oh no, no, no.
That's just a book I accidentally bought back with me from Gallifrey.
From Gallifrey?! You brought a book from Gallifrey to Cambridge.
Yes, just a few knick knacks you know.
And you know how I love my books, Doctor.
Professor, you just said that you brought it back by accident.
An oversight.
I overlooked the fact that I decided to bring it.
Just for study you know.
But as I'm now getting very old I thought That perhaps I thought that I'd take it back to Gallifrey for you.
Well now that I'm retired I'm not allowed to have a TARDIS.
Professor, I don't want to be critical but I will.
It very risky bringing books back from Gallifrey.
They could be terribly dangerous in the wrong hands.
Hmm.
"On some nights, New York was as hot as Bangkok.
" I'll read that.
Hm.
Saul Bellow.
"Once upon a time" Read that.
Ahh.
"And in the Great Days of Rassilon, five great principles were laid down.
Can you remember what they were, my children?" It's just a Gallifreyan Nursery Book.
I know.
I know.
I had it when I was a Time Tot! It's very good.
Oh, no no, that's just another momento.
Not the right book at all.
Now where is it? Is this the one? Oh dear no.
Where is it? I know it's here somewhere.
Professor? Professor? How many books did you bring for heaven's sake? Oh just the odd two or seven.
There's only one that's in any way Dangerous? Well what does it look like? What's it called? The Worshipful And Ancient Law Of Gallifrey.
The Worshipful And Ancient Law Of Gallifrey.
Yes.
Little book, about five by seven.
Professor, how did that book get out of the Panopticon Archives? Well, what I did you see is well, I just took it.
Took it? Well, no one interested in Ancient History on Gallifrey anymore.
And I thought that possibly certain things would be safer with me.
And were they? Well, in principle.
Excuse me.
Delicate situation, slightly.
Professor, that book dates back to the days of Rassillon Does it? Yes indeed It's one of the artefacts.
Is it? Indeed.
Professor, you know that perfectly well.
And you also know perfectly well that Rassillon had secrets and powers that even we don't fully understand.
You've no idea what might be hidden in that book.
Well there's not much chance of anyone else understanding it then is there? I only hope you're right.
But we better find it.
Romana? Yes? Little red book.
Five by seven.
Good.
Good.
Could be green.
In his invisible space-ship.
Skagra absorbed massive of information about me and then informed the Commander of the flag ship via the communicator that he would be joining him soon and that the universe should prepare itself.
The Commander ashore him that all was ready as his image solidified on the space-ship screen