Celebrity Juice (2008) s19e04 Episode Script

1 I am Keith Lemon, check out my sweet ass titles.
You're probably thinking "what the fuck is going on", but don't worry - it's just another over-elaborate metaphor for how totally rad this show is.
Look, there's Holly Willoughboozy firing space lasers from her massive tits.
And there's Fearne Cotton riding a giant cock-shaped spaceship.
There's Gino D'Acampo firing dough balls.
Here we are, taking a selfie.
Online presence! Phew.
We made it to the studio just in time for the best telly show on telly.
What's that telly show on telly? It's Celebrity Juice on telly.
Not in 3D.
I fucking wish it were though.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) High five, high five, high five.
High five, high five.
Boom.
High five.
Hurrah! Hello, welcome to Celebrity Juice, I'm Keith Lemon.
Let's meet our team captains first, it's Holly Willoughboozy! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Holly, who's on your team? On my right, he's twisting my melon, man.
It's Shaun Ryder! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my left, I've got a Hollyoaks legend.
It's Gary Lucy! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Let's meet our other team captain, it's Fearne Cotton! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello.
Fearne, who's on your team? Thanks very much.
On my left this week, unfortunately, Gino's not here.
What a shame.
So, I've got Richard Blackwood.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my right, with the best hair, it's Ella Eyre! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey, he's so juicy - it's Gary Lucy! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Star of British television.
You're almost like royalty of the soap world, aren't you? Yeah.
You are, cos you've been doing it for a long time.
I have down here that you starred in Hollyoaks.
There you are, there you are.
Then you went into Footballers' Wives.
(CHEERING) Then you went into The Bill, and EastEnders.
I can't believe Gary Lucy is a virgin Are you a virgin? .
.
to Celebrity Juice.
Oh, Celebrity Juice.
(LAUGHTER) That's ridiculous.
How have you slipped through the net? I've fucking avoided it! (LAUGHTER) Shaun, are you a big fan of Hollyoaks? (LAUGHTER) D'you know what, I've really never watched it.
Bollocks! I used to love Brookside.
Do you know who Gary is? Yeah.
Out of Hollyoaks.
(LAUGHTER) I've partied with him! Gary Yes.
When we have, like, soap pin-ups - you are a soap pin-up.
Was.
We always try and find the obligatory naughty picture of them naked, cos that's what they always do, they get their kit off.
Unfortunately I'm being Oh no, we couldn't find Couldn't find a picture, that's a shame.
Of course we could find a fucking picture, let's have a look.
There you are.
I've hurt me leg! We've got another picture of you.
There you are, there, throwing your shitty pants at someone.
(LAUGHTER) You've had your arm up someone arse.
(LAUGHTER) Nice.
Hey, it weren't me with my hand up someone's arse! We've got another one of you here.
There you are, doing a fart.
Prrt.
(WOLF WHISTLE) I just wish my arse was like that now.
(LAUGHTER) As someone said (LAUGHTER) Still got it! Nice (!) Holly, have you ever wanked over Gary's arse? (LAUGHTER) Holly doesn't wank.
She does! No way! Oh, she bashes it like a naughty Jack Russell! She does! (LAUGHTER) She does, she does! Shaun, thank you.
Yeah, you're not a wanker, Holly.
(LAUGHTER) Gary, serious question.
Yes.
What is it like being called Gary? (LAUGHTER) Because they're becoming extinct, people called Gary.
Yeah.
People are not calling their children Gary any more.
In the whole of the UK last year, only 27 babies were named Gary.
Aw.
That's crazy, innit? I think Gary Glitter killed it, to be fair.
(LAUGHTER) You're the first ever Gary we've had on Celebrity Juice, apart from Gary the Dog.
RIP.
Aw, Gary the Dog.
Yeah.
I loved Gary.
Miss him, miss him.
Oh, Gary, Gary.
So, to commemorate you as the first Gary panellist Are you giving me an award? .
.
we got you something special.
Yes.
Here it is.
It's the Gary award.
(FANFARE) It's supposed to be you.
Thank you.
It's supposed to be you.
Look at that.
Fucking nostrils.
It's got my nostrils! It was modelled on my face.
Sorry.
No, they're his big nostrils.
But it's mine.
It is! Look at camera one! Look at us! My nostrils are bigger than yours, trust me.
Do you reckon? Yeah.
Oh, have a nostril off.
(LAUGHTER) Three, two - Are we twitching or flaring? We're flaring.
Go.
(LAUGHTER) Mine are bigger.
Cheer if you think Fearne's got the biggest.
(SUBDUED CHEERING) Cheer if you think Gary's got the biggest.
(LOUD CHEERING) Yeah, but listen, Fearne, this is a victory for everyone here.
Well, I guess it is on some level, yeah.
Next time you're walking down t'street, walk with Gary and it'll look like you have normal nostrils.
Hey, she's got really big hair, it's Ella Eyre! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) How are you, sunshine? I'm good, how are you? I'm good.
I love that you've taken inspiration from me.
I always take inspiration from you.
Really? (LAUGHTER) I was hoping you'd say that.
SHAUN, STOP EATING SWEETS, WE'RE ON TELLY! Fucking hell, you gave 'em me.
(LAUGHTER) Ella, Ella, Ella.
You've got a new song out, it's called Erm SHAUN, WE CAN HEAR YOU! Sorry, man, sorry.
(LAUGHTER) Control! Can I keep them? No labels though.
Leave it! (LAUGHTER) You've got a new song out, it's called Answerphone.
Yeah.
And you're doing that song with Banx and Ranx.
Yeah.
Who the fuck are they? (LAUGHTER) I don't know them.
Huh? I don't know them.
Well, they're two guys from Montreal, they're producers, and I worked with them, we wrote the song, and then we got Yxng Bane on the song too.
Are they like the Canadian Chuckle Brothers? Yeah.
With ginger dreads.
Oh, my God, you should get ginger dreads! That is me.
(LAUGHTER) That is you.
It could be.
And why is the man in the bear costume laughing at the ginger? That's not fair.
I think I've got it here in physical format.
There it is.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's called Answerphone.
I've gotta ask you, what is the answerphone message? The answerphone message is that you don't answer my calls any more.
I text you all the time, and I wrote this about you.
Oh, that's the lies.
What's the message? No, it's just about somebody not answering your phonecalls, and singing about it.
Sounds incredibly like a synopsis to me.
What's the message? (LAUGHTER) (SIGHS) The message is to fuck off.
(LAUGHTER) Fucking hell.
Don't you know the message to your own song? So, you must You were born in the 90s, weren't you? I was.
We've got a lot of people on that were on the telly then.
You must think "who the fuck are they?" I remember watching Footballers' Wives, but I was far too young.
Do you remember Gary Lucy? Yeah.
Can you remember in the 90s when Richard used to have his music out? Tell you what we'll do, I'll give a point to your team if you can give me the name of one of his tracks.
One, two, three, four, fiveget Once I caught a fish alive.
.
.
wicked.
No.
One, two, three, four, get wicked.
Get with the wicked.
Get with the wicked.
That's one point for your team.
One, two, three, four, get with the wicked, can I get a whoo whoo? Chicks get with it I never understood that title.
I wanna say I didn't write it.
It were your song! It was my song, but Richard, Richard.
If you do music, you will know What was the message? The message was I couldn't give a shit because I didn't write it.
(LAUGHTER) Hey, let's make some noise, it's Richard Blackwood! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Gonna start with an exclusive.
Apparently, you're leaving EastEnders.
Whaaaaat? Yes, yes, I am.
WHY? It's time now.
You had a massive quiet period, you got a fucking job, and now you're leaving it! There's your confidence builder.
Exactly.
I'm gonna be just fine, Richard, I'm gonna be just fine.
Have you got something else in the pipeline? Got a movie coming out at the end of the year.
A movie? A movie.
We don't know about this, do we? Not yet, but it's good to have a movie coming out.
Always good to have a movie coming out.
Same year you leave, so I've got a movie coming out.
Now that you've left EastEnders, would you consider going into Hollyoaks, or do you wanna stay in acting? (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) So, is it true, Richard, that you invented pointing? (LAUGHTER) I don't I don't think I did, no.
We've got the first time pointing was ever done was by Richard Blackwood.
Here's the picture.
Please.
That's the first time anyone saw pointing.
You know what it is, though? It's pointing.
That's me letting the cameraman know "I see you".
You know, people take pictures, but they're generic.
I like to work with them, and say "there you are.
" Which camera? Camera five.
There you are.
See what I did there? At home, you just got touched, felt moist.
That's what I'm trying to do there.
(LAUGHTER) We've got another picture of you pointing.
Oh, no.
Two-finger point, it's a two-finger point! I really fuck with you.
What's going through your mind with the two fingers? I really fuck with you, like you are my people right now.
You are more special than him.
That's what that is.
What's your emotion in this picture? My emotion is I'm sure you wanna see what's really going on.
(LAUGHTER) That was actually from my stand-up It doesn't look like I'm doing stand-up.
But that was from my tour, the poster just to make people come.
(LAUGHTER) To the show! Hey, call the cops, it's Shaun Ryder! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back, Shaun.
Thank you, Keith.
Are you all good? I'm all good.
You look good.
We saw you on a new show called 100 Years Younger in 21 Days.
Yeah.
Tell us about it.
Oh, I owned it, baby.
What happened? I got 100 years younger in 21 days.
Surely you should be a test tube of spunk, then.
Well I now look 15.
We've got a line-up of the other people that were in it.
We've Roy Walker, Sid Owen Yeah.
All my new best mates.
And June Brown, of course! Yes.
Dot Cotton.
AKA Fearne's sister.
Great.
(LAUGHTER) I just wanna clarify, you're not smoking a cigarette on set, are you? You're just holding a pen with smoke coming out of it.
It's just a pen.
Yeah.
Just a pen.
It's just a pen.
Don't worry, viewers, he's not smoking.
Can you just put thepen down whilst we're still on telly? (LAUGHTER) Shaun, whilst you were doing the experiment, you had something called an enema.
Yeah.
Tell us about that.
I gota load of coffee shoved up me arse, and (LAUGHTER) Then they filmed me on the toilet.
But it was really good cos on the show, they dubbed the noises.
Did they? Yeah.
We've got before and after pictures.
Oh, right.
This is interesting.
Before, when you didn't look 100 years younger.
There you are.
As you can see, you look slightly older.
Yeah.
Then after the big experiment, you did.
100 years.
Look.
(LAUGHTER) There you are.
You've got a different face on.
A face full of make-up.
Would you recommend it? Oh, definitely.
To you.
Yeah.
(LAUGHTER) You bastard! Hey, Richard, you're a big fan of, like, Marvel superheroes, aren't you? I love them, yes, I do.
Have you heard that they're doing a new superhero movie? No, I haven't.
Have you heard about it, Ella? I haven't.
You know what it's called? You've heard about it, Fearne.
Sure.
I'm gonna buy the action figure.
It's gonna be brilliant.
Yeah, it's called the Adventures of Piss Man.
Are you up for it? (LAUGHTER) Are you up for it? It's very you, it's very you.
Oh, thank you.
Are you up for it? I'll do it, yeah.
Richard is up for it, so let's play! OK, please welcome on the stage, hopefully the new Marvel superhero, Piss Man.
Let's chant, Piss Man, Piss Man, Piss Man, Piss Man, Piss Man, Piss Man! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (WOLF WHISTLE) Wow! Point! Is this I can't even believe I'm doing this.
My son's watching.
Piss Man point.
(LAUGHTER) Shaun.
Yeah? Sorry, mate.
(LAUGHTER) Have you got a packed lunch under there? Yeah! Got a tuck shop under his desk.
I know, I see what's going on.
So, this is what you're gonna do.
First, you must rescue the poor cat which is stuck in the tree, using your superhero piss.
Next, piss to save Gary Lucy's autobiography, which someone has mysteriously burned Got to save that.
Then, you must use your sweet, sweet piss to save an 'amster who's stuck in an 'amster tube.
Then you will use your piss to rinse the shampoo out of a man's hair, whose shower has stopped working.
There he is.
Oh, look, his shower's not working.
Wait, stop.
You have to piss on his head, Richard, that's what you need to do.
You get some amazing actors.
He's not an actor, he's a real person.
He can't point like you.
Next, you must refill the dried up goldfish bowl.
You've got to save the goldfish, bring him back to life.
Finally, you've got to rehydrate the office worker, who's run out of water.
(LAUGHTER) You'll go on the klaxon.
Three, two, one.
(KLAXON) Go, Piss Man! There he goes.
Off he goes.
Faster than a speeding piss.
OK.
Run to the cat! Where's the cat? Piss on the cat, get him out of the tree! There! Piss it out of the tree! Piss the cat out of the tree.
You can do it, Piss Man.
(MEAOW) Saviour of the universe.
(LAUGHTER) It is, innit? It's wobbling.
You can do it.
It's wobbling! (CHEERING) (BELL) (CHEERING) On to the next one, Piss Man, come on! No, we should leave that! We should leave that.
Gary Lucy's autobiography is on fire! Piss it out! Let's save Gary.
He saved the autobiography! (CHEERING) (BELL) (APPLAUSE) The hamster! The hamster! Piss the hamster out of the tube, he's still Oh! (BELL) No problem! The shower - you've got to get the soap out of his hair, he won't be able to go to work, he'll go blind.
Piss Man, Piss Man, Piss Man! (CHANTING) Look at him rescuing that dude! (BELL) Ohhh! (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) The fish? (LAUGHTER) Revive the goldfish, bring it back to life! What are we doing here?! That's a man's dick.
I don't wanna see a man's dick! (LAUGHTER) Revive the goldfish, bring it back to life.
You can do it Piss Man! It's moving! Now you just have to rehydrate the office worker.
Quick! You can do it Piss Man.
That's it.
In his mouth.
You've done it.
(BELL) Yes! Back to us.
Come on, you've got ten seconds! Sixfivefour Threetwo .
.
one.
Piss Man! (KLAXON) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHANTING) Piss Man! Piss Man! Piss Man! Piss Man! Point.
Piss Man! Piss Man! Piss Man! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) The scores at the end of that round are Pissing.
Richard Blackwood, everyone! We're going to an ad break.
I'm off for a piss, I'll see you in two.
Coming up after t'break.
What the hell are they doing? Erm Why do they keep doing that?! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) ALL RIGHT! Welcome back to Celebrity Juice! You having a good time? Yeah! You having a good time? (ALL) Yes! Are you having a good time? (CHEERING) I tell you what, Richard and Gary, despite both being in soaps, there's something else that links you.
You share a mutual best friend, don't you? Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dean Gaffney.
Yeah.
We've got some pictures of you.
There you are, both with Dean Gaffney.
I tell you what we're gonna do.
We're gonna play a little quick game to find out who officially is Dean's best friend.
Oh! Yeah.
Cos you do know that he had a board game out, don't you? I've got Dean Gaffney's official best friend game.
I'm gonna ask you a few questions.
Whoever gets the most right obviously is Dean's official best friend.
(LAUGHTER) It's a real board game.
I actually give it to him.
There it is.
There it is.
(LAUGHTER) If you're not his best friend, it doubles up as a dart board.
which is really nice.
Ooh! She's a little witch, isn't she? (LAUGHTER) You two faced pig! (LAUGHTER) Can we have a Dean Gaffney board game lighting change to make it all serious? Buzz in if you know the answer.
What colour are Dean's eyes? Gaffney! I think they're blue, aren't they blue? They're blue.
Of course they're blue.
You know him.
(BELL) (APPLAUSE) How old is Dean? Gaffney! Forty.
That's correct.
(BELL) (APPLAUSE) What is Dean's middle name? Dean! (LAUGHTER) Holly's team? Wellard.
No, it's incorrect.
I'll pass it over to Richard.
Barbara.
It's a guess, just a guess.
I actually don't know.
It's really bad.
Shaun, stop eating sweets, I've told you! You greedy pig! It's Martin.
What famous day is Dean's birthday on? Gaffney! Valentine's Day.
That's correct.
(BELL) Is it? Proper friend.
Why has being 5' 5" got Dean in the papers recently? Dean! Was he not allowed on the vampire ride at Chessington? (LAUGHTER) No, the answer was because he has to stand on his tiptoes in photos with his girlfriend.
Have a look.
Ah! (LAUGHTER) (KLAXON) That's the end of the game.
That was a lovely game, wasn't it? # THE REMBRANTS: I'll Be There For You The scores at the end of that round are shi-ting.
(CHEERING) We're gonna play a game now we haven't played for (SOUTHERN DRAWL) lotsa time, boy.
Do you remember this? The Five Second Fool Xtreme! (APPLAUSE) # Theme from Mastermind Welcome to Five Second Fool Xtreme.
I'm here with Holly Willoughby.
You know the score, you've played this before.
Let me turn you on.
Should I do it? You wanna turn yourself on? Yeah.
I can do that.
Woo! There's Holly turning herself on.
(LAUGHTER) Three different things you like in your mouth? Em, I like chocolate, I like fruit and I like wine.
(BELL) Three things you wouldn't put up your anus? Eh your nob, a butt plug and a carrot.
(BELL) Three things you would let me do to you on television? Talk to me, look at me, and tell me it's the end of the night and off you go.
(BELL) (KLAXON) Holly Willoughby! (APPLAUSE) The Five Second Fool Xtreme! Ella, we're doing television.
Shut up! (LAUGHTER) My name is Keith Lemon.
Welcome to Five Second Fool.
The rules are simple.
I want - SHUT THE FUCK UP! (LAUGHTER) Fuckin' hell, that's 'ard, innit? You ready for this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, let's turn you on.
You can't eat your toffees in this game! Hold on tight, Shaun.
Ah, yeah.
Now we're playing.
Sit on me knee! I'm a quiz master.
Legs in the air.
Oh, like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God, you're dancing like Bez! # HAPPY MONDAYS: Step On (RECORD SCRATCHING) Three other famous Shauns.
Sean Bean, Sean Penn and Sean (BELL) Sean lost it.
Shaun the fucking sheep, man.
Yeah.
The sheep.
Three things that make you happy.
Pills.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) Acid.
(BELL) Ecstasy.
Three things you put in your mouth.
Eh dicks.
Lollipops.
And (BELL) Haagen Dazs.
(LAUGHTER) Shaun, give me three words.
Three words? Fuck, bum, balls and (BLEEPED).
(BELL) (APPLAUSE) (KLAXON) Shaun Ryder, everyone! (CHEERING) And the scores at the end of that round are shi-ting! The Five Second Fool Xtreme! Shaun Ryder, last time you came on here, we played Name it on the Hacienda Boogie.
Do you remember how good you was? I was mega.
You were shite.
Oh.
You were shite.
So I'm gonna give you a chance to redeem yourself and play again but we're not gonna go into the hacienda.
In homage to the Blackwood we're gonna go round to his gaff, so let's play Name it on the Blackwood Boogie.
You get me? (JAMAICAN ACCENT) Boom, boom, boom! Shake dat room! I is Mick Hucknell.
I wanna fall from the stars right into your arse, you get me? That money be TOO tight to mention.
As you can see, I'm in Richard Blackwood's gaff, yeah, boy! You like dat? OK, your teammates gonna do some dancing, you gotta guess what they're dancing to.
Put them sound cancelling headphones on now boy.
Sorry, sorry.
Ready for a dirty beat.
This is a right dirty pig.
You're gonna like this.
# HOUSE OF PAIN: Jump Around # Jump around Jump.
Kris Kross, Make You Wanna Jump.
Kris Kross, Makes You Wanna Jump? I'm really gonna piss myself in a minute.
When you've had a kid this is the worst sort of dance movement you can do, this jumping.
Nothing to - is it to do with jumping? Yes.
OK.
Jump Around? Yeah! Yes! (APPLAUSE) House of Pain.
Yes, yes, here it is.
(MUSIC PLAYS) Ooh, naughty, naughty, naughty.
I seriously nearly pissed my pants then.
So you're gonna seriously piss your pants if you do dat.
Now pour it on me now.
OK, the next beats.
# SIA: Chandelier # I'm gonna swing # From the chandelier # From the chandelier Oh, Circus de Soleil.
# I'm gonna live # Like tomorrow doesn't exist Like it doesn't exist Cry baby? Robots I see what she's doing.
Calm down.
There, she's fucked.
Sky, sky (MUSIC CUTS OUT) You didn't get that one.
You didn't get that.
Listen.
I worked so hard! You did.
(MUSIC PLAYS) She was doing the little girl dance.
Oh, is this Pink? No, it's not.
No, rude boy.
It's Sia.
You get me? It's Sia.
Sorry, sorry.
(KLAXON) There's the klaxon.
That's Richard Blackwood with Fearne's team, everyone! Next up, rude boys, it's Holly's team.
Over there we've got Holly's team here in the gaff of Richard Blackwood.
We've got Shaun on the sound cancelling headphones.
We have got no chance here.
Are you ready? Shaun.
Not got a chance in a fucking million, mate.
I'm gonna drop a dirty beat.
You what? Have this, you stinky pigs.
# HAPPY MONDAYS: Step On Swimming, driving my car? He's fucking cheating! (CHEERING AND LAUGHTER) It's twisting me melons, man! Come on, then.
Come on, then! You've got to guess it.
You've got to guess it.
What is it? Tell me what it is.
NO! NO! What is it? NO! Spin me Spin me right round, baby right round.
Oi! Stop cheating! Stop cheating! Step in? Step On.
(CHEERING) I got that without cheating! And if we can't get it and we've got Bez here, we are screwed.
You done brill.
Bez, you're gonna help Holly's team, yeah? Oh, that helps (!) (LAUGHTER) He has very different dances.
Can I do the guessing? Cos he's really rubbish.
Right, do you wanna dance? Go on Do I have to? Yeah cos you're a cheating (BLEEPED).
Right.
What's wrong with cheating anyway? What's wrong with cheating? Cheaters don't ever win.
Fucking do, mate.
So, do you come here often? (RECORD SCRATCHES) # BRYAN ADAMS: Summer of '69 Lie down.
Oh, my God! 69? 69 sunshine Don't blame it on the boogie.
Get on down.
Poorly.
Sunrise? Shagging sunrise? Why do they keep doing that? Get on Prince? Is it a Prince song? (MUSIC ENDS) Make Love To Me All Night? What is it? (MUSIC PLAYS) Oh, The Summer of '69.
I should've got that.
Here goes.
Here's a dirty beat.
# CYNDI LAUPER: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun # Oh girls just wanna have Shaun, you've gotta dance.
Help Bez out.
Full Monty.
Breasts? Boobs? Lady.
Lady? Little lady.
Small lady.
Small lady.
Barbie Girl? Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
Don't get Barbie Girl? Little girl? Small girls? Girls wanna have fun.
Sweet Child O' Mine.
Sweet Child (MUSIC STOPS) Hey, Holly! Little body.
You know when Shaun said girls wanna have fun in your ear? Listen.
(MUSIC PLAYS) It was Girls Want to Have Fun.
(KLAXON) (APPLAUSE) So, the scores at the end of that round areshi-ting! We got to take that break.
See you in a minute.
(APPLAUSE) Hello, welcome back to Celebrity Juice! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Still to play for in the final round.
It's the buzzer round! Buzz in if you know the answer.
If you don't know the answer, be a chancer and buzz in anyway.
Holly, what's your buzzer this week? (BUZZER) "I'm a much better actor than Will Mellor, me.
" (LAUGHTER) Will Mellor did invent acting, as we know.
But Fearne, what's your buzzer this week? (BUZZER) "Black people do not zest, you get me?" (LAUGHTER) True or false? Ella Eyre is currently trying to sell a mirror on Gumtree.
(HOLLY'S BUZZER) That's Holly's team.
It's false.
Judging by her face.
Let's have a look.
I'm concerned.
It's true! Here's the photo.
(LAUGHTER) Who's Richard Blackwood pointing at here? (FEARNE'S BUZZER) Dean Gaffney.
Let's have a look.
Definitely Dean, best mate.
Boom, that's correct.
Who's Gary Lucy pointing at here? (HOLLY'S BUZZER) That's Holly's team.
Please tell me it's his best friend, Dean Gaffney.
Let's have a look.
No, it's Peter Rabbit! (LAUGHTER) Easily confused.
One point for the first person out of Gary and Richard to get Dean Gaffney on the phone right now.
You can't do that to me.
Do you know his number off by heart? No.
You're not a true friend.
(LAUGHTER) I think (PHONE RINGING) This is unfair.
Shh, shh.
(PHONE RINGING) Tell him it's the Luce.
(DEAN GAFFNEY ON) "Hello, brother".
You're on Celebrity Juice right now.
They wanted to see if I had you online so say hello to everyone.
Hello! (CHEERING and APPLAUSE) Dean, to prove it's you, what is your middle name? "Martin.
" It's Dean Gaffney, everyone! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Mate, I'll call you back, yeah? Hang on, ask him who's his better friend - you or Gary Lucy? Oh, here's a question for you, Dean You or the Luce.
All right, who's a better friend to you, me or the Luce? Oh, my God, you can't do this to me.
(LAUGHTER) I think Richard more cos he's like my guru Fuck off! (LAUGHTER) Oh, you're my best friend OK, I have a boiled egg here.
I'll give a point to Holly's team if Shaun puts the boiled egg in his mouth, passes it down the audience and collects it at the other end.
(LAUGHTER) You have to do it with your mouths! Oh, no! There you are.
Take a boiled egg.
Yeah.
Right.
Go on, pass it down.
Oh, my God! Who likes eggs? He like eggs! He likes eggs! (GASPS) Now pass it back.
Pass it back! Pass it back! Pass it back! Gotta bring it back to me, Shaun.
We are having an egg-cellent time.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Do you want it? Oh, go on then.
No! Agh! (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) Bal-al-al-al-al-ala.
Here's an action replay.
Oh, no! Don't wanna see it again.
Eww! (KLAXON) That's the end of the buzzer round.
(APPLAUSE) That's the end of this week's Celebrity Juice.
I can tell you that the winning team is Oh, it's so close.
They're telling me it's so close.
It's one, two, three, four.
Fearne's team, get with the wicked! (CHEERING) I was Keith Lemon, if I don't see you through t'week, I'll see you through t'window.
Let's dance! # HAPPY MONDAYS: Step On # You're twistin' my melon man, You know you talk so hip man You're twistin' my melon man Happy days! Ta-ra!