Celebrity Juice (2008) s19e06 Episode Script
John Newman, Maya Jama, Stacey Solomon, Joe Swash
1 Hi, I'm Keith Lemon.
Check out my sweet-arse titles.
You're probably thinking what the fuck is going on? But don't worry, it's just another over-elaborate metaphor for how totally rad this show is.
Look, there's Holly Willoughboozy firing space lasers from her massive tits.
And there's Fearne Cotton riding a giant cock-shaped spaceship.
There's Gino D'Acampo firing dough balls.
Here we are, taking a selfie, online presence! We went into the studio just in time for the best-selling show on telly.
What's that show? It's Celebrity Juice on telly.
Not in 3-D, I fucking wish it were, though.
(CHEERING) Hello! Let's get your weekend started.
I'm Keith Lemon, welcome to Celebrity Juice.
Let's welcome our team captains first, Miss Holly Willoughboozy! Holly, who's on your team? Tonight on my right, I have the king of tagliatelle.
It's Gino.
CROWD: Gino, Gino! And on my left, I've got the very beautiful Maya Jama.
Let's meet our other team captain, Fearne Cotton! Who's on your team? On my left, Celebrity Juice's favourite couple, Joe Swash and Stacey Solomon! And on my right, it's the man with the best quiff in showbiz.
It's John Newman! My, my, my, Maya Jama! Maya Jama, everyone! Right, I'm going to speak for every young man at home right now.
Fuckin' hell! Fit, you're like Pocahontas with a fringe.
Thanks.
Christ! Thank you very much.
You've had an amazing few months.
It's been all right.
You hosted the MOBOs.
What was that like? Good, exciting.
You also present a new show called Revolution on Sky 1.
And you've also got a new job on Radio One.
Yeah.
Congratulations! Fearne, you used to be on Radio One.
Any tips? She doesn't need any! But any advice? You did it for years.
Just carry on doing what you're doing, you're great! That's why she got sacked Didn't get sacked! Chose to leave.
Now I'm on Radio Two, so fuck you! Definitely got sacked.
Why don't you do it any more? "Cos I got sacked.
" You're like a giant yellow spot.
Shut your face.
I know a lot of people talk about you and your superstar boyfriend a lot.
I weren't going to mention it, we have a lovely picture of you together.
Here you are.
It's supposed to be a secret, bloody hell.
Just kidding.
Stormzy, have you got a picture with him? There you are.
That's quite cute.
He's just been to Burger King.
What do you do when the Stormzy gets way too big for his boots? I don't know, nothing # Never too big for the boots! # Never too big for the boot! Never too big Is that how he moves? Don't know, he doesn't move that much.
He kind of just deals cards out.
Never too big for your boots! You're never too big for your boot.
Is it true that you send nude pictures of yourself for mates to approve before you send them to Stormzy? Yeah, not now We've become mates! What girls do when you first see somebody, you send it to your friends to approve.
Before you sent it to him.
At the beginning, not when you've been together for ages.
But when it's new and you're trying to be impressive.
I get dick pics from Fearne all the time.
I send them to Holly first and she goes, "That's a winner.
" "Look at smooth that penis is!" I'm like, "Shave your pubes a bit.
Make it look longer.
" Winning formula.
Joe, have you done any pictures like that to Stacey? A dick pic? I don't think I have.
I'd be shocked and horrified.
Because his dick's really white cos he doesn't spray-tan that? "What's that! It's a white slug!" Joe, is it true you fake tan every day? No! I have to get his fake tan supplies.
No, you don't! I always Stacey does this, I'll put it out there, she'll invent a story.
And then, she will trick me into thinking it's true.
She said I was 37.
For a whole day, I was like, "30 fucking 7!" And I was 36.
Joe, we've got some exclusive news about you.
It says at the end of 2018 after many years in the spotlight, you're officially retiring from show business.
Yeah.
Wow, you didn't even tell me that! I'm trying to wind down.
I thought about semi-retirement, I was going to get a hobby.
What sort of hobby? Open a tanning salon.
Yeah! You were going to make your own fake tan.
I was going to! You were going to make your own? It'd be great.
Swash & Go, innit? I want to know if you'll love me again.
It's John Newman! How do? How do.
Welcome back, it's been a while.
Been a while.
You're recording music again, we've got your new single here.
Fire In Me.
What's the message? You know what, I hate coming on this show, because you go Then don't fucking come on, then! Get your jacket and go home! Hey, John, I've got to talk about something I've recently heard and I'm a bit disgusted about.
Apparently, you've got engaged to your nana.
It's a laughing matter to him! It's like reverse paedophile.
Weird, that you get married to your nana, I think we've got a picture of you together.
Is that actually real? That was only the other day.
That's a joke.
We've got a picture of you with your actual nana, let's have a look.
There you are.
They look banging! They look banging! What's this about you and your nana, then? I'm getting married to another Danish girl, called Nana.
She's called Nana, it's not your actual nana.
No.
Have we got a picture? There you are.
Ah! Cheers, guys.
Is it true, apparently you hate frankfurters? We've got a picture of you beating the shit out of one.
There, it's a massive one.
We've got some frankfurters here.
We're going to try and recreate that picture.
Right? OK, so get up.
I'll just bring it.
Foreshortening, right? Where are you going? OK, punch it, punch it.
What we're going to do now is play, I don't think it's an oldie but it's definitely a goldie.
So, let's play So, word association game, don't stutter, don't repeat, mustn't feed a mogwai after midnight, you mustn't show me your teeth.
Because we've got such sexy panellists this week, the subject I'm going to give you is (MUMBLES) Oh, you are The clitoris! A thong, a thong! (BUZZER!) No! Booby? Mm (BUZZER!) Sorry, I can't! Erotic fiction.
Eroticfiction.
Maya? (BUZZER!) Fuck you! Yeah! Gino? Ah! Ice cream sex! There, and you go Ice cream sex.
Cornetto! (LAUGHS) Oh, my God! Sorry about that, guys.
Oh, my God! Eh? Stacey, does he actually do that to you? I've learned so much about Joe just in this game! Kissing the ear! (BUZZER!) What? You can't not say that music is sexy.
I didn't show my teeth! You just buzzed me out! Like that.
Taking pictures Agh! That means Holly's team is the winner.
CROWD: Gino! Gino! Gino! Maya.
Is it true you're into saving the environment? A bit, I do try to.
I do want to save the environment and recycle things and do all I can for the planet, so let's play Welcome to my recycling centre.
As you can see, Gino and Joe here for the first part of the course.
Let me tell you, there's three sectors to it.
The first, you will partake in.
We've got some cans on the floor here, you'll use your special recycling belt given to us by NASA and crush those cans.
The person who crushes them the quickest wins a point for your team.
Then we run outside to the girls, starting with Holly and Fearne, who'll be squashing boxes and cartons.
But be careful, there might be some milk in those cartons and that might go inside your spadge.
Some of that milk may be off.
Then the third sector of the game, where we'll have Gino and John using their magnetiser belts, picking up cans and putting them in the recycle bins.
It's that easy, we're saving the world, you can do it too.
Let's go on the recycling horn! Off they go, look at the speed.
He is using agility.
Look at Joe Swash go for it! He's like a recycling machine.
Is that the end? Joe Swash is the winner.
Joe Swash is the winner! Hold on.
I'm going to go outside to the girls, let's go! OK, girls.
Remember, this is for a point for your team.
More importantly, we're going to save the planet.
You'll go on the recycling horn.
Yeah! Off they go.
Got their special bounce, squashing those boxes.
Holly and Fearne squashing the boxes.
Now squashing the milk carton.
Be careful! And they're tag-teaming! Maya's off, having a good start.
Stacey's catching up.
Wow! That's it, that's it! Maya's fallen in the box, she can't get out! Stacey has won that round! Solomon won that! # I'm living in a box I'm living in a cardboard box OK, let's go over to the guys! OK! This part of the game is about recycling cans.
You got tin cans, special magnetised recycling belts.
This is stupid! It's recycling, it's serious, we're doing a good thing, it's positive.
Why don't we pick it up with our hands? Because we're making recycling fun.
It can be boring, but we're making it fun.
Shut the fuck up.
You ready? Let's go on the recycling horn! Oh, look at that! Oh, look at the tactic.
No hands, John, no hands! John's making love to the tins and the bin.
He loves sticking it in.
The bin is saying, "Fire it in me!" Gino has got one more.
That's it! Gino, I think you were first.
That's a point for your team.
Thank you.
Hold on.
How did you do that? Hold on! Oh, my gosh.
I've just been told that we've saved the planet.
Yeah! It's incredible, yes! Well done.
And the scores at the end of that round of recycling We're going for a break.
We've saved the world, see you in three.
Coming up Agh! Eugh! What was that? Hello! Welcome back to Celebrity Juice! John, John.
We did a bit of research on you and we found out who your biggest musical influence is.
Right.
I'm really excited about this because your inspiration for your whole career was the brilliant Right Said Fred, wasn't it? Err Here's the pictures of the guys, if you're unfamiliar with them.
There they are.
That's what inspired John to get into music in the first place and your favourite Right Said Fred song is? What was it called? Remember, because you love it.
You were telling.
Oh, yeah, the best one.
Was it Deeply Dippy? I'm helping you.
Yeah.
Here at Celebrity Juice, we like to make dreams come true.
They said it couldn't be done.
But everybody be up standing for one night only, Right Said Fred in the house! Can you believe it? No! You want to meet them? I'd love to.
Come over.
Thanks! All right, Right, how you doing? Fred, all right? You're speechless, can't believe it.
So are they, obviously.
So, would you like to play a game involving them? Yes! Fantastic, so let's play Welcome to Deeply Dippy.
In this game, Holly and Fearne will place six different dips upon Right Said Fred's head.
All you have to do is give me the ID.
It sounds easy but you'll be blindfolded.
I'll ask you to place these goggles on.
These Right Said Fred goggles.
God, OK.
You can't see anything? Oh, there's some right stinkers in there.
For everyone at home, this is what they are.
Place the dips upon Right Said Fred's head.
All at once? Yes! All six and they will lick each one.
That was not expected, I think I have more surface area than you.
What pattern am I going to for? Like a painter's palette, place it on.
People making "ah" sounds, is it not actually dips? Don't mix them up! Look at Fearne.
We know you played with them.
On his head, not in his ear.
Hang on, I've got a slider! That is a slider.
Actually, Fearne, you're placing it on very well, I can see why you've done so well in your career.
You've done a great job, you can sit down.
Thank you.
OK, let's play Deeply Dippy! Don't come off the stage, don't move your feet.
Don't move your feet! I don't like it! I know what that one was.
I know what that is.
Don't move your feet, I don't want you falling off.
Oh, it's on my chin! What the fuck is that? What's on my chin now? Bit further over.
Come on.
Get your tongue out! I can smell his aftershave! Get your tongue out.
There you go.
Look at him! No, you've done that one.
That top one.
There, you've just done them all.
How many do you think you can get? Only one, I think.
John, what do you think? Two.
You think you can get two? Or maybe two, I'll have a go.
I thought one was garlic mayo, and the other one was mustard.
One was mustard, other garlic mayo, you said what? I think I can do three.
Go on.
Number one was mustard, number two was aioli, and number three was Davidoff cool water.
I tell you what, we're going to give you a point each and we're going to have a game of Double Dip and bring Joe and Gino up.
Well done, Maya and John! OK, we've got a mix here, three dips.
Each one is a mixture of two dips, I want you to tell me what the ingredients are of each dip.
I hate this google thing.
Google? Whatever Goggles! Stick your tongue out.
Make sure he does it as well, Keith! Oh! You did two then.
And here's a third one.
He's got them.
Come on.
Now it's you, Joe.
There's the first one.
Don't say anything yet, Gino.
Agh! There's one! (MUMBLES) Argh! That's one.
(CHOKES) Eugh! What is that? That is so hot! Why is it so hot? And your second one.
Is there another one? That was one! Here's the next one.
What you doing? It's awful! Awful.
It's so hot! That is so hot, it's burning my chin.
Gino, what you saying? One needs to be some kind of cheese.
Parmesan.
Parmesan cheese.
Creamy dip.
What's mixed with it? Some went up my nose! And some kind of chilli dip, with tomato.
Joe, what's your thoughts? He didn't say one dip, it's like, "Chilli thing with" Yes, because it's three dips.
That's not the way I talk, you racist! Joe, it's three dips, each is a double dip, so it's mixed with two ingredients.
OK.
I think there was definitely horseradish in there.
And what else with that? I think you're right, it was like something cheesy in there.
Parmesan, cheddar or Parmesan.
One of the two.
I think it might have been Parmesan! All right, I'll go chilli and sour cream and chive dip.
The winner of this round of Double Dip is Can we take it off? It was Gino D'Acampo! CROWD: Gino! Gino! Gino! The scores at the end of that round are Fearne Cotton.
Hi! Can you remember when we had Ben Fogle on years ago? He was great.
And we did Ogling With Fogling.
Great game.
Where we had to spot the animals doing stuff.
It's really lodged in my memory.
We wanted him to come back and play it again but unfortunately, he's very busy.
We have tracked him down, he's sent us a message, look at this.
Hello, Keith, Fearne, and Holly Willoughbooby.
Oh, and not forgetting Gino, you twat.
I'm sorry I can't be with you in the studio.
I'm busy trying to climb Everest.
But please, play Ogling With Fogling without me.
Gino, get on with cooking your pasta.
I'm going to climb the tallest mountain in the world.
Wow! Ben Fogle, everyone.
How are we going to do it without him? We're just going to do it without him, so let's play Hello.
As you can see, me and Joseph here are hidden in our den on the African Savannah.
We're looking for animals.
Basically, I want Joseph to give me the idea of the animal and what it's doing.
I'll give you a clue, it rhymes.
You ever kissed a guy? No, have you? No.
Come on, let's have a look.
I think I can hear something.
Can you? Don't know.
I can see it! Oh, what's she up to? She looks a little bit scared.
Oh, oh! (CHUCKLES) (LAUGHS) Something drunk.
Drunk, a drunk skunk.
Oh, she's a spider.
A spider.
Glug, glug! Drinkingcider! See you later, spider! Here they come.
Gino said he tried it when he were younger, with a guy, but I never tried it.
Did he kiss? Have you ever kissed? I've kissed, yeah.
You want to try it? Go on, try it.
Don't tell anyone.
I'm going to try it, but don't tell anyone.
That's too much.
Ah! This animal looks fucking awful! Look at the state of this.
Stupid! It's stupid! Look, there it is.
What's he doing? Oh! He's gone down.
It's a snake, it's a snaky snake! A wanky snake.
Aw! A snake, a coming snake? Are you a snake? No! Why don't you tell me? I'm not close to a fucking snake! A worm? A worm.
Shooting sperm! There's one more.
Who's this one? Here he is.
Here he is.
Oh, oh! Let's just watch it for a little bit.
Yeah! Let's study the movements of this animal.
A crab? Crab? Look at the state of you! A crab with cramp.
You're the best one and all.
She's got sounds! An itchy crab, a crab with crabs.
Are you a crab? Yes, I'm a frickin' crab, I'm doing this! A crab, with a scab.
What? A crab with a scab? Yeah! Well done, that was very good.
Very, very good! You know I'm going to do? I'm going to give you a chance to win a point.
Gino is going to come in and you're going to be an animal.
Shall we do it? Yes, let's do it.
You ready? Yes.
Hey, Gino.
We don't really need these.
You ever kissed a man? No! Right, OK.
Why would we need to try shit like that? Let's look at the game.
What's wrong with you? (WHISPERS) He has.
Look, there he is.
(BABBLES) Orangutango.
Orangutango? Orangutan.
Gorilla.
Brrr! Who the fuck is that? That's not a fucking animal! That's just brrr! Octopus? Oh! An octopus.
Squid.
Oh! A fish? Nemo.
Jellyfish.
A jellyfish.
A jellyfish blowing a fish.
It's a Jellyfish.
Yes, and I'm Blowing a wish.
Yes! Making a wish.
And scores at the end of that round are We're going to an ad break, we see, how do we say? Oh! We'll see you in three.
After the break Can't believe she could do that.
Can you do that? I really don't know.
Come on! Oh, oh! Yeah! Hello, welcome to Celebrity Juice! You having a good time? Yes.
Having a good time? Oh, yeah! You having a good time? (THEY CHEER) Joe and Stacey, is it true you two bath together sometimes? Yeah, until he wees in it.
Have you peed in the bath before whilst with Stacey? I have to have no bubble, so I can make sure.
Joe, have you pissed in the bath when with Stacey? No, I've never! He has, look at the guilt.
That's so inconsiderate.
Like when I'm in the bath and he comes and does a poo.
Are you joking? No.
Not in the bath, next to the bath.
You're not allowed to do that.
Stacey does exactly the same! I don't! Stacey Definitely you.
You can tell with Stacey's eyes when she's nearly finished.
I was talking to her the other day, and thought she's really concentrating! Joe, down Camera 5, what's Stacey's face when she's finished? The final round, it's the Buzzer Round! Buzz in if you know the answer, if you don't know, buzz in and have a guess.
Here's the first question.
What did Piers Morgan recently claim he's never had? 'You are a vision of perfection.
' A friend? He said to Pamela Anderson he's never had bad sex.
That's correct.
Don't know about the person he's having sex with, though.
What surprising thing did Jessie J recently do in China? 'Stace, you got any cash?' That's Fearne's team.
She won the X Factor.
Let's look.
That's correct.
Won the equivalent to the X Factor.
Point for Maya Jama if she can do an ugly face.
Point for Fearne if she can do an ugly face.
What's John Newman staring at here? 'Are you an idiot?' Fearne's team.
Is he looking for God? Nearly, I'll show you what it is.
He's staring at Right Said Fred.
They're my idols! Is this Right Said Fred or is it the Mitchell Brothers? Mitchell Brothers.
Let's have a look.
They've got more hair.
No, it's Right Said Fred, your idols! Here's another one, Right Said Fred or the Mitchell Brothers? 'I'd let her poo on my neck.
' Right Said Fred.
No, it was one of each! Point for Joe Swash if he can squash this grapefruit in his hands.
I think you can do it.
Yeah! It's going in my eye! You're so strong! A point for their team, who can hide behind their desk first? Whole team! That's Holly's team.
No! It was.
Point for Fearne if she can lift her leg behind her head.
Come on, you know you can do that! Can you do that? I really don't know.
Don't hurt yourself.
Oh, yes, yes! Well done! Wow.
I tell you what, though.
Go get that grapefruit.
Go get it.
Run like a! Please! Where's the grapefruit? Please can I have it? Please! Please.
First person to bring it back to me wins a point for their team.
(KLAXON BLARES) Oh, that was the klaxon! At the end of the buzzer round, the winning team is Maya Jama, to on your debut here on Celebrity Juice, the winning team is Fearne's team! If I don't see you for a week, I'll see you.
Let's dance! (MUSIC PLAYS)
Check out my sweet-arse titles.
You're probably thinking what the fuck is going on? But don't worry, it's just another over-elaborate metaphor for how totally rad this show is.
Look, there's Holly Willoughboozy firing space lasers from her massive tits.
And there's Fearne Cotton riding a giant cock-shaped spaceship.
There's Gino D'Acampo firing dough balls.
Here we are, taking a selfie, online presence! We went into the studio just in time for the best-selling show on telly.
What's that show? It's Celebrity Juice on telly.
Not in 3-D, I fucking wish it were, though.
(CHEERING) Hello! Let's get your weekend started.
I'm Keith Lemon, welcome to Celebrity Juice.
Let's welcome our team captains first, Miss Holly Willoughboozy! Holly, who's on your team? Tonight on my right, I have the king of tagliatelle.
It's Gino.
CROWD: Gino, Gino! And on my left, I've got the very beautiful Maya Jama.
Let's meet our other team captain, Fearne Cotton! Who's on your team? On my left, Celebrity Juice's favourite couple, Joe Swash and Stacey Solomon! And on my right, it's the man with the best quiff in showbiz.
It's John Newman! My, my, my, Maya Jama! Maya Jama, everyone! Right, I'm going to speak for every young man at home right now.
Fuckin' hell! Fit, you're like Pocahontas with a fringe.
Thanks.
Christ! Thank you very much.
You've had an amazing few months.
It's been all right.
You hosted the MOBOs.
What was that like? Good, exciting.
You also present a new show called Revolution on Sky 1.
And you've also got a new job on Radio One.
Yeah.
Congratulations! Fearne, you used to be on Radio One.
Any tips? She doesn't need any! But any advice? You did it for years.
Just carry on doing what you're doing, you're great! That's why she got sacked Didn't get sacked! Chose to leave.
Now I'm on Radio Two, so fuck you! Definitely got sacked.
Why don't you do it any more? "Cos I got sacked.
" You're like a giant yellow spot.
Shut your face.
I know a lot of people talk about you and your superstar boyfriend a lot.
I weren't going to mention it, we have a lovely picture of you together.
Here you are.
It's supposed to be a secret, bloody hell.
Just kidding.
Stormzy, have you got a picture with him? There you are.
That's quite cute.
He's just been to Burger King.
What do you do when the Stormzy gets way too big for his boots? I don't know, nothing # Never too big for the boots! # Never too big for the boot! Never too big Is that how he moves? Don't know, he doesn't move that much.
He kind of just deals cards out.
Never too big for your boots! You're never too big for your boot.
Is it true that you send nude pictures of yourself for mates to approve before you send them to Stormzy? Yeah, not now We've become mates! What girls do when you first see somebody, you send it to your friends to approve.
Before you sent it to him.
At the beginning, not when you've been together for ages.
But when it's new and you're trying to be impressive.
I get dick pics from Fearne all the time.
I send them to Holly first and she goes, "That's a winner.
" "Look at smooth that penis is!" I'm like, "Shave your pubes a bit.
Make it look longer.
" Winning formula.
Joe, have you done any pictures like that to Stacey? A dick pic? I don't think I have.
I'd be shocked and horrified.
Because his dick's really white cos he doesn't spray-tan that? "What's that! It's a white slug!" Joe, is it true you fake tan every day? No! I have to get his fake tan supplies.
No, you don't! I always Stacey does this, I'll put it out there, she'll invent a story.
And then, she will trick me into thinking it's true.
She said I was 37.
For a whole day, I was like, "30 fucking 7!" And I was 36.
Joe, we've got some exclusive news about you.
It says at the end of 2018 after many years in the spotlight, you're officially retiring from show business.
Yeah.
Wow, you didn't even tell me that! I'm trying to wind down.
I thought about semi-retirement, I was going to get a hobby.
What sort of hobby? Open a tanning salon.
Yeah! You were going to make your own fake tan.
I was going to! You were going to make your own? It'd be great.
Swash & Go, innit? I want to know if you'll love me again.
It's John Newman! How do? How do.
Welcome back, it's been a while.
Been a while.
You're recording music again, we've got your new single here.
Fire In Me.
What's the message? You know what, I hate coming on this show, because you go Then don't fucking come on, then! Get your jacket and go home! Hey, John, I've got to talk about something I've recently heard and I'm a bit disgusted about.
Apparently, you've got engaged to your nana.
It's a laughing matter to him! It's like reverse paedophile.
Weird, that you get married to your nana, I think we've got a picture of you together.
Is that actually real? That was only the other day.
That's a joke.
We've got a picture of you with your actual nana, let's have a look.
There you are.
They look banging! They look banging! What's this about you and your nana, then? I'm getting married to another Danish girl, called Nana.
She's called Nana, it's not your actual nana.
No.
Have we got a picture? There you are.
Ah! Cheers, guys.
Is it true, apparently you hate frankfurters? We've got a picture of you beating the shit out of one.
There, it's a massive one.
We've got some frankfurters here.
We're going to try and recreate that picture.
Right? OK, so get up.
I'll just bring it.
Foreshortening, right? Where are you going? OK, punch it, punch it.
What we're going to do now is play, I don't think it's an oldie but it's definitely a goldie.
So, let's play So, word association game, don't stutter, don't repeat, mustn't feed a mogwai after midnight, you mustn't show me your teeth.
Because we've got such sexy panellists this week, the subject I'm going to give you is (MUMBLES) Oh, you are The clitoris! A thong, a thong! (BUZZER!) No! Booby? Mm (BUZZER!) Sorry, I can't! Erotic fiction.
Eroticfiction.
Maya? (BUZZER!) Fuck you! Yeah! Gino? Ah! Ice cream sex! There, and you go Ice cream sex.
Cornetto! (LAUGHS) Oh, my God! Sorry about that, guys.
Oh, my God! Eh? Stacey, does he actually do that to you? I've learned so much about Joe just in this game! Kissing the ear! (BUZZER!) What? You can't not say that music is sexy.
I didn't show my teeth! You just buzzed me out! Like that.
Taking pictures Agh! That means Holly's team is the winner.
CROWD: Gino! Gino! Gino! Maya.
Is it true you're into saving the environment? A bit, I do try to.
I do want to save the environment and recycle things and do all I can for the planet, so let's play Welcome to my recycling centre.
As you can see, Gino and Joe here for the first part of the course.
Let me tell you, there's three sectors to it.
The first, you will partake in.
We've got some cans on the floor here, you'll use your special recycling belt given to us by NASA and crush those cans.
The person who crushes them the quickest wins a point for your team.
Then we run outside to the girls, starting with Holly and Fearne, who'll be squashing boxes and cartons.
But be careful, there might be some milk in those cartons and that might go inside your spadge.
Some of that milk may be off.
Then the third sector of the game, where we'll have Gino and John using their magnetiser belts, picking up cans and putting them in the recycle bins.
It's that easy, we're saving the world, you can do it too.
Let's go on the recycling horn! Off they go, look at the speed.
He is using agility.
Look at Joe Swash go for it! He's like a recycling machine.
Is that the end? Joe Swash is the winner.
Joe Swash is the winner! Hold on.
I'm going to go outside to the girls, let's go! OK, girls.
Remember, this is for a point for your team.
More importantly, we're going to save the planet.
You'll go on the recycling horn.
Yeah! Off they go.
Got their special bounce, squashing those boxes.
Holly and Fearne squashing the boxes.
Now squashing the milk carton.
Be careful! And they're tag-teaming! Maya's off, having a good start.
Stacey's catching up.
Wow! That's it, that's it! Maya's fallen in the box, she can't get out! Stacey has won that round! Solomon won that! # I'm living in a box I'm living in a cardboard box OK, let's go over to the guys! OK! This part of the game is about recycling cans.
You got tin cans, special magnetised recycling belts.
This is stupid! It's recycling, it's serious, we're doing a good thing, it's positive.
Why don't we pick it up with our hands? Because we're making recycling fun.
It can be boring, but we're making it fun.
Shut the fuck up.
You ready? Let's go on the recycling horn! Oh, look at that! Oh, look at the tactic.
No hands, John, no hands! John's making love to the tins and the bin.
He loves sticking it in.
The bin is saying, "Fire it in me!" Gino has got one more.
That's it! Gino, I think you were first.
That's a point for your team.
Thank you.
Hold on.
How did you do that? Hold on! Oh, my gosh.
I've just been told that we've saved the planet.
Yeah! It's incredible, yes! Well done.
And the scores at the end of that round of recycling We're going for a break.
We've saved the world, see you in three.
Coming up Agh! Eugh! What was that? Hello! Welcome back to Celebrity Juice! John, John.
We did a bit of research on you and we found out who your biggest musical influence is.
Right.
I'm really excited about this because your inspiration for your whole career was the brilliant Right Said Fred, wasn't it? Err Here's the pictures of the guys, if you're unfamiliar with them.
There they are.
That's what inspired John to get into music in the first place and your favourite Right Said Fred song is? What was it called? Remember, because you love it.
You were telling.
Oh, yeah, the best one.
Was it Deeply Dippy? I'm helping you.
Yeah.
Here at Celebrity Juice, we like to make dreams come true.
They said it couldn't be done.
But everybody be up standing for one night only, Right Said Fred in the house! Can you believe it? No! You want to meet them? I'd love to.
Come over.
Thanks! All right, Right, how you doing? Fred, all right? You're speechless, can't believe it.
So are they, obviously.
So, would you like to play a game involving them? Yes! Fantastic, so let's play Welcome to Deeply Dippy.
In this game, Holly and Fearne will place six different dips upon Right Said Fred's head.
All you have to do is give me the ID.
It sounds easy but you'll be blindfolded.
I'll ask you to place these goggles on.
These Right Said Fred goggles.
God, OK.
You can't see anything? Oh, there's some right stinkers in there.
For everyone at home, this is what they are.
Place the dips upon Right Said Fred's head.
All at once? Yes! All six and they will lick each one.
That was not expected, I think I have more surface area than you.
What pattern am I going to for? Like a painter's palette, place it on.
People making "ah" sounds, is it not actually dips? Don't mix them up! Look at Fearne.
We know you played with them.
On his head, not in his ear.
Hang on, I've got a slider! That is a slider.
Actually, Fearne, you're placing it on very well, I can see why you've done so well in your career.
You've done a great job, you can sit down.
Thank you.
OK, let's play Deeply Dippy! Don't come off the stage, don't move your feet.
Don't move your feet! I don't like it! I know what that one was.
I know what that is.
Don't move your feet, I don't want you falling off.
Oh, it's on my chin! What the fuck is that? What's on my chin now? Bit further over.
Come on.
Get your tongue out! I can smell his aftershave! Get your tongue out.
There you go.
Look at him! No, you've done that one.
That top one.
There, you've just done them all.
How many do you think you can get? Only one, I think.
John, what do you think? Two.
You think you can get two? Or maybe two, I'll have a go.
I thought one was garlic mayo, and the other one was mustard.
One was mustard, other garlic mayo, you said what? I think I can do three.
Go on.
Number one was mustard, number two was aioli, and number three was Davidoff cool water.
I tell you what, we're going to give you a point each and we're going to have a game of Double Dip and bring Joe and Gino up.
Well done, Maya and John! OK, we've got a mix here, three dips.
Each one is a mixture of two dips, I want you to tell me what the ingredients are of each dip.
I hate this google thing.
Google? Whatever Goggles! Stick your tongue out.
Make sure he does it as well, Keith! Oh! You did two then.
And here's a third one.
He's got them.
Come on.
Now it's you, Joe.
There's the first one.
Don't say anything yet, Gino.
Agh! There's one! (MUMBLES) Argh! That's one.
(CHOKES) Eugh! What is that? That is so hot! Why is it so hot? And your second one.
Is there another one? That was one! Here's the next one.
What you doing? It's awful! Awful.
It's so hot! That is so hot, it's burning my chin.
Gino, what you saying? One needs to be some kind of cheese.
Parmesan.
Parmesan cheese.
Creamy dip.
What's mixed with it? Some went up my nose! And some kind of chilli dip, with tomato.
Joe, what's your thoughts? He didn't say one dip, it's like, "Chilli thing with" Yes, because it's three dips.
That's not the way I talk, you racist! Joe, it's three dips, each is a double dip, so it's mixed with two ingredients.
OK.
I think there was definitely horseradish in there.
And what else with that? I think you're right, it was like something cheesy in there.
Parmesan, cheddar or Parmesan.
One of the two.
I think it might have been Parmesan! All right, I'll go chilli and sour cream and chive dip.
The winner of this round of Double Dip is Can we take it off? It was Gino D'Acampo! CROWD: Gino! Gino! Gino! The scores at the end of that round are Fearne Cotton.
Hi! Can you remember when we had Ben Fogle on years ago? He was great.
And we did Ogling With Fogling.
Great game.
Where we had to spot the animals doing stuff.
It's really lodged in my memory.
We wanted him to come back and play it again but unfortunately, he's very busy.
We have tracked him down, he's sent us a message, look at this.
Hello, Keith, Fearne, and Holly Willoughbooby.
Oh, and not forgetting Gino, you twat.
I'm sorry I can't be with you in the studio.
I'm busy trying to climb Everest.
But please, play Ogling With Fogling without me.
Gino, get on with cooking your pasta.
I'm going to climb the tallest mountain in the world.
Wow! Ben Fogle, everyone.
How are we going to do it without him? We're just going to do it without him, so let's play Hello.
As you can see, me and Joseph here are hidden in our den on the African Savannah.
We're looking for animals.
Basically, I want Joseph to give me the idea of the animal and what it's doing.
I'll give you a clue, it rhymes.
You ever kissed a guy? No, have you? No.
Come on, let's have a look.
I think I can hear something.
Can you? Don't know.
I can see it! Oh, what's she up to? She looks a little bit scared.
Oh, oh! (CHUCKLES) (LAUGHS) Something drunk.
Drunk, a drunk skunk.
Oh, she's a spider.
A spider.
Glug, glug! Drinkingcider! See you later, spider! Here they come.
Gino said he tried it when he were younger, with a guy, but I never tried it.
Did he kiss? Have you ever kissed? I've kissed, yeah.
You want to try it? Go on, try it.
Don't tell anyone.
I'm going to try it, but don't tell anyone.
That's too much.
Ah! This animal looks fucking awful! Look at the state of this.
Stupid! It's stupid! Look, there it is.
What's he doing? Oh! He's gone down.
It's a snake, it's a snaky snake! A wanky snake.
Aw! A snake, a coming snake? Are you a snake? No! Why don't you tell me? I'm not close to a fucking snake! A worm? A worm.
Shooting sperm! There's one more.
Who's this one? Here he is.
Here he is.
Oh, oh! Let's just watch it for a little bit.
Yeah! Let's study the movements of this animal.
A crab? Crab? Look at the state of you! A crab with cramp.
You're the best one and all.
She's got sounds! An itchy crab, a crab with crabs.
Are you a crab? Yes, I'm a frickin' crab, I'm doing this! A crab, with a scab.
What? A crab with a scab? Yeah! Well done, that was very good.
Very, very good! You know I'm going to do? I'm going to give you a chance to win a point.
Gino is going to come in and you're going to be an animal.
Shall we do it? Yes, let's do it.
You ready? Yes.
Hey, Gino.
We don't really need these.
You ever kissed a man? No! Right, OK.
Why would we need to try shit like that? Let's look at the game.
What's wrong with you? (WHISPERS) He has.
Look, there he is.
(BABBLES) Orangutango.
Orangutango? Orangutan.
Gorilla.
Brrr! Who the fuck is that? That's not a fucking animal! That's just brrr! Octopus? Oh! An octopus.
Squid.
Oh! A fish? Nemo.
Jellyfish.
A jellyfish.
A jellyfish blowing a fish.
It's a Jellyfish.
Yes, and I'm Blowing a wish.
Yes! Making a wish.
And scores at the end of that round are We're going to an ad break, we see, how do we say? Oh! We'll see you in three.
After the break Can't believe she could do that.
Can you do that? I really don't know.
Come on! Oh, oh! Yeah! Hello, welcome to Celebrity Juice! You having a good time? Yes.
Having a good time? Oh, yeah! You having a good time? (THEY CHEER) Joe and Stacey, is it true you two bath together sometimes? Yeah, until he wees in it.
Have you peed in the bath before whilst with Stacey? I have to have no bubble, so I can make sure.
Joe, have you pissed in the bath when with Stacey? No, I've never! He has, look at the guilt.
That's so inconsiderate.
Like when I'm in the bath and he comes and does a poo.
Are you joking? No.
Not in the bath, next to the bath.
You're not allowed to do that.
Stacey does exactly the same! I don't! Stacey Definitely you.
You can tell with Stacey's eyes when she's nearly finished.
I was talking to her the other day, and thought she's really concentrating! Joe, down Camera 5, what's Stacey's face when she's finished? The final round, it's the Buzzer Round! Buzz in if you know the answer, if you don't know, buzz in and have a guess.
Here's the first question.
What did Piers Morgan recently claim he's never had? 'You are a vision of perfection.
' A friend? He said to Pamela Anderson he's never had bad sex.
That's correct.
Don't know about the person he's having sex with, though.
What surprising thing did Jessie J recently do in China? 'Stace, you got any cash?' That's Fearne's team.
She won the X Factor.
Let's look.
That's correct.
Won the equivalent to the X Factor.
Point for Maya Jama if she can do an ugly face.
Point for Fearne if she can do an ugly face.
What's John Newman staring at here? 'Are you an idiot?' Fearne's team.
Is he looking for God? Nearly, I'll show you what it is.
He's staring at Right Said Fred.
They're my idols! Is this Right Said Fred or is it the Mitchell Brothers? Mitchell Brothers.
Let's have a look.
They've got more hair.
No, it's Right Said Fred, your idols! Here's another one, Right Said Fred or the Mitchell Brothers? 'I'd let her poo on my neck.
' Right Said Fred.
No, it was one of each! Point for Joe Swash if he can squash this grapefruit in his hands.
I think you can do it.
Yeah! It's going in my eye! You're so strong! A point for their team, who can hide behind their desk first? Whole team! That's Holly's team.
No! It was.
Point for Fearne if she can lift her leg behind her head.
Come on, you know you can do that! Can you do that? I really don't know.
Don't hurt yourself.
Oh, yes, yes! Well done! Wow.
I tell you what, though.
Go get that grapefruit.
Go get it.
Run like a! Please! Where's the grapefruit? Please can I have it? Please! Please.
First person to bring it back to me wins a point for their team.
(KLAXON BLARES) Oh, that was the klaxon! At the end of the buzzer round, the winning team is Maya Jama, to on your debut here on Celebrity Juice, the winning team is Fearne's team! If I don't see you for a week, I'll see you.
Let's dance! (MUSIC PLAYS)