Celebrity Juice (2008) s19e07 Episode Script
Anne Marie, Joey Essex, Ricky Wilson, Rochelle Humes, Chris Kamara, Gino D'Acampo
1 Hi, I'm Keith Lemon.
Check out me sweet ass tyres.
You're probably thinking, 'What the fuck is going on?' Don't worry, it's just another over elaborate metaphor for how totally rad this show is.
Look, there's Holly Willoughby firing space lasers from her massive tits.
And there's Fearne Cotton riding a giant cock-shaped spaceship.
There's Gino D'Acampo firing dough balls.
Here we are taking a selfie.
Online presence.
Phew! We made it to the studio just in time for the best-selling show on telly.
What's that show on telly? It's Celebrity Juice on telly.
Not in 3-D.
I fucking wish it were, though.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello! Yes! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) # Happy birthday happy birthday to you # Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Hello! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, and welcome to Celebrity Juice.
I'm Keith Lemon and I am 35 years of age! Yeah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Let's meet our team captains.
First up, Holly Willoughby.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Happy birthday.
Thanks very much.
Have you had a nice day? Yeah, yeah.
Have you been spoiled? Yeah, yeah.
Did you get that hat? Do you like it? I do, actually.
Do I look exotic? You do.
You should see me dick, man.
(LAUGHTER) Holly, who's on your team? On my right, they are the ninjas of Saturday night TV.
It's Chris Kamara and Rochelle! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my left, he's creepy sick.
It's Joey Essex! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, let's meet our other team captain.
It's Fearne Cotton! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You've been 35 for, like, ten years.
It's really weird.
(LAUGHTER) How old are you? 36, yeah.
Fucking hell, you've had a rough life, haven't you.
(LAUGHTER) Hey, Fearne, who's on your team? Well, on my right we say ciao, adios to Anne-Marie.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my left, oh, my God, I can't believe it.
It's Ricky Wilson.
Oh.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my other left, oh, my God, I can't stand him.
It's Gino! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) AUDIENCE: Gino! You're not in the middle.
No, we're not sharing.
We're sharing the captain.
We're not sharing the captain chair.
I'm the captain, aren't I? I'm more on the thing than you are.
That's cos you keep encroaching on my space.
It's not your team.
It is my team.
It's our team.
What letter's on the front today? F for Fearne.
For fuck off! (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) She ruined you! (HUMMING CIAO, ADIOS) It's Anne-Marie! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (HUMMING CIAO, ADIOS) You sound exactly like me.
(LAUGHTER) Anne-Marie, welcome to Celebrity Juice.
Thanks.
It's going well for you, innit, cos you've had an incredible year.
You've had five Brit Award nominations, 12 million global single sales, and five billion streams, and finally, you're on Celebrity Juice.
Yeah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I made it! You've got a new album out.
I've got it.
Here it is.
It's called Speak My Mind.
Speak Your Mind.
(LAUGHTER) It's called Speak Your Mind.
(LAUGHTER) If we look at your album, you've got a megaphone.
Yeah.
And on the back you're pointing the megaphone to your spadge.
(LAUGHTER) Is that because you've sampled some of your queefs? (LAUGHTER) Sampled some of my what? Your queefs.
What's queefs? Your lady trumps.
You know (IMITATING QUEEFING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We've got some evidence that you often sample your queefs.
(LAUGHTER) There, there.
(IMITATING FARTING) I don't if that's a queef or a fart.
(LAUGHTER) That's definitely a fart, that one.
Oh, my God.
That's a queef.
Get out of me.
Could've laid an egg there.
(LAUGHTER) You've got a new single out called 2002.
Yeah.
Co-written by Celebrity Juice superfan Ed Sheeran.
Yeah.
Yes, Ed Sheeran.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) There you are.
He bought you a birthday present, didn't he? Yeah, he did.
He got you summat very special.
(LAUGHING) What did he get you? He got me the biggest dildo available.
(LAUGHTER) Good old Ed.
The thing is The thing is, you loved it.
No! (LAUGHTER) It was like The thing is, it's fucking worn out already.
(LAUGHTER) He said, 'I've got a present for you.
Come in here.
' I was like, 'Don't tell me it's a dildo.
' And it was.
At the moment you're dating a massive Hollywood actor, aren't you, who was the star He played the lead role in the film The Lego Movie.
Don't know if you've seen it.
I've got a picture of him.
Here he is, in his costume still.
(LAUGHTER) Who is that, then? That's Marshmello, American DJ.
Yeah.
I'm not dating him.
Oh, you're not dating him? No.
It's a bit like Daft Punk.
It's like he's an offspring from Daft Punk cos you don't know It could be you, Joey, Daft Punk, for all I know.
Is it you? Nah.
It ain't me, 100%.
(LAUGHTER) Is it me? Nah.
It can't be me.
(LAUGHTER) You haven't got that bucket in your fanny pack? No, not tonight.
You probably have.
It's in your bum bag.
What is in your bum bag? I'll get mine out if you get yours out.
(LAUGHTER) I got a phone.
Yeah, I think I match you on that one.
You got a phone? Yeah, I've got a phone.
I've got two phones.
AUDIENCE: Ooh! Why have you got two phones? Cos that one's more business, this one's more like Pleasure.
Hears what you're saying.
(LAUGHTER) I've got a tape measure.
Hold on! (LAUGHTER) Hold on! Hold on! He's got a tape measure.
What are you measuring? Because sometimes at night, if I'm trying to work things out in my house What? You wake up in the middle of night and think, 'I wanna measure the distance between the door and sofa'? Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
(LAUGHTER) I love Joey Essex's most important credit card on the front, Costco.
Costco! (LAUGHTER) Man of the people! Where do you think he buys his tape measures from? (LAUGHTER) I got it from Wickes.
All right.
(LAUGHTER) Why don't you just say it.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I love Wickes! Give me some free shit, bitch! I've got a banana.
(LAUGHTER) I love bananas.
You can have it.
Aw! Cheers, thank you.
Here's a pound.
Oh, thanks.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey, it's Ricky Wilson! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I tell you what, you've been on Juice a couple of times.
Yes, I love it.
We always play games that kinda rhyme with your name.
In the past we played Flicky Wilson, Picky Wilson, Bricky Wilson, all in homage to your amazing rhymable name.
Yeah.
Well, you'll never guess what Yep.
We've done it again.
We have, we've done it again.
(LAUGHTER) So let's play High Kicky Wilson! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (AS RICKY) Hey, I'm Ricky Wilson, and oh, my God, I can't believe I'm so far away from home.
I fucking predicted it right.
(LAUGHTER) It's not really Ricky Wilson.
He was a cardboard cutout, but the real Ricky Wilson is here.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) So, as you can see we've got a cardboard cutout of you.
Yes.
All I want you to do is kick as high as you can.
The higher you kick the more you score.
Cos you're quite renowned for, like, jumping quite high.
Look at you there.
You're about 12 feet there.
About 12 feet.
Can I come from this way? Whichever side you want.
Which side are you feeling? Go on.
Ricky Wilson playing High Kicky Wilson.
(SLOW CLAP) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You did it! Let's watch the replay.
Boom! OK, next up to play High Kicky Wilson is Gino D'Acampo! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) AUDIENCE: Gino! I hate shit like this.
(LAUGHTER) Gino It's never gonna happen.
Gino, seriously, what do you like? We sit down, have a chat and a few jokes.
This is a stupid game.
What? Like, if it was a chat show and it wasn't Celebrity Juice? Yes.
Well, fuck off to another show.
(LAUGHTER) That is very your style.
(LAUGHTER) And, plus, this kind of thing, they're against health and safety thing.
What about if I fall? (LAUGHTER) Shall I make it a bit easier and get a different cardboard cutout? Oh, yes, something my height.
OK, can we get the genuine life-size Gino D'Acampo cutout, please.
(LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) That is slightly shorter than I am.
No.
I think you've got different shoes on.
You've got heels on, haven't you? (LAUGHTER) There you are.
You've got your Tom Cruise shoes on tonight.
(LAUGHTER) It's my fault.
It looks like someone's put some false teeth in a cat's ass.
(LAUGHTER) What is that? This is Gino D'Acampo playing High Kicky Wilson.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yeah! How about that? Boom! Nice.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) The scores at the end of the round are: (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey, they're two of my favourite birthday presents.
It's Rochelle and Chris.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Lovely to have you on the show.
There's a new series of Ninja Warrior on at the moment, yeah? Yes.
How's it going? Good.
It's fun, isn't it? It's the best job, honestly.
You know, at the wrap party, do you all get pissed up and try and have a go at the course yourself? We actually get pissed up every night.
(LAUGHTER) Rochelle, you just did the London Marathon, didn't you? Big up your chest.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Picture of you there.
What place did you come, then? I did it in, like, 5:27 hours, was my time.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I don't know what that means.
Very near the end.
Very near the end.
Mo Farah inwhat? Two hours? Yeah.
That's what he does.
No, he does TV ads.
(LAUGHTER) Have you done the marathon? Never done it.
You should do it.
What was your time? Do you remember? I did it Well, I collapsed.
Did you? No, I woke up in an ambulance.
Did you?! This is a bit downbeat on my birthday.
Can we cut that bit out? Ricky, did you win? Yeah, I won it.
Yeah.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) # Oh, my God, I can't believe it I've never been this far away (PHONE RINGING) Sorry.
Japan? Hello? (RAPID JAPANESE ON THE PHONE) 'Ey, you remember Eiji, our Japanese businessman? Remember when you saved him? He was tied up on the bed.
That was his mum on the phone then.
Aw.
Apparently he's not phoned home for a long time.
He's gone missing.
Oh, no.
And she wants him to phone ASAP.
And, Joey, it was a long fucking link, but should we just play (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Here I am with Joey Essex, who's about to embark on a mission that's gonna make him like the hero of tonight's show, hopefully, like last time when you saved Eiji, remember? I'll always save Eiji.
So what you've gotta do is find Eiji, bring him back so he can phone home.
All right, cool.
(LAUGHTER) Tell you what, as it's my birthday, if you bring him back, I'll give you ten points.
There might be some surprises on the way.
All right.
AUDIENCE: Ooh! Yeah, you'll go on the sound of a Japanese gong.
Do you know what that sounds like? Kong? (LAUGHTER) (JAPANESE GONG) Sounds like that.
Go! Go! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) He's outside.
That's sushi.
Follow Japanese items.
Follow Japanese items.
OK, I found Jackie Chan.
Follow Japanese items.
Soy sauce, that's it.
Fortune cookie, some other Japanese stuff.
Some wasabi.
What about the cupboard? Check the cupboard.
There.
Are there any clues in there? That's not Eiji.
Mate! That's a Halloween clown.
That's a Halloween clown.
Run past him.
Shit.
Run past him.
Run past him.
He's gone past him.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I don't understand what's going on, man.
What can you see? I've found Japanese Ah! (GROWLING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I've ruined my Gucci jeans, bruv.
Are you all right? I told you there'd be some surprises.
Fuck's sake.
What the fuck? Look on the floor.
Follow that Japanese arrow.
There's Japanese fucking items everywhere! (LAUGHTER) Go.
Up there.
What's up there? Go up there.
Red Whatever.
Open the bin, Joey.
Can you see Eiji? Is he anywhere? Can you see him? No, I can't see him anywhere.
Follow the Japanese items.
(LAUGHTER) No, not my back! (LAUGHTER) I found him! (LAUGHTER) Eiji.
There he is.
Eiji.
It's Joey Essex.
From Essex.
How are you? How are you? How are you? I'm here to save you.
(LAUGHTER) Right, Joey, get on the bike and bring him back.
Wait, I'm coming.
I can't even go.
(LAUGHTER) Mate, the gear's in gear two.
Push! The gear's in gear two.
And he's off.
(GROWLING) Eiji.
Eiji, we'll make it.
We're gonna go.
We're nearly there.
Yeah.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Send Eiji home.
Home.
Eiji go home.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) No hands.
No hands.
No hands.
Yes! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well done.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Do you wanna phone your mum? Yes.
Here you go.
Phone home, OK.
Hai.
Okasan, moshi-moshi.
That's ten points to Joey Essex! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Go! Take him.
We're going to an ad break.
It's my birthday.
See you in three.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Coming up after break I'm just warming up.
(LAUGHTER) Eh, this is good, by the way.
(LAUGHTER) Would you like to chalk up your pole? I don't know what I wanna do.
(LAUGHTER) Hooray! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back to Celebrity Juice! Because it's my birthday we're gonna get mashed up, and because we're gonna get mashed up, we're also mashing up the game so we're combining classic Celebrity Juice games.
So that's gonna be exciting.
Here's the mash up board.
Here it is.
Oh! All the Celebrity Juice classic games there, and we're gonna mash them up together.
It'll be exciting.
And what's more exciting, you'll win a surprise cos tonight we're giving away this special birthday gravel.
Check this.
Look at that! Tonight, if your team wins you will take home some gravel.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Chris, if you won some gravel tonight what would you do with it? Get stoned.
(LAUGHTER) Hey, he made a joke! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, it's now time for our very first birthday game mash up.
So, Holly, would you like to buzz in first.
Yeah.
What have you chosen? You've chosen Shouting One Out.
Love that one.
Fearne, are you ready to buzz in? Yep.
You've chosen Rhyming Street.
So let's play Rhyming One Out Street.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, and welcome to Rhyming One Out.
As you can see we've mashed up Shouting One Out with Rhyming Street.
You will have the sound cancelling headphones on, just like you do when we're playing Shouting One Out, but we will be going down to Rhyming Street.
so put your sound cancelling headphones on.
I don't understand what's going on.
It doesn't make any change if you do or don't.
(LAUGHTER) This is stupid.
(LAUGHTER) Can you hear me? What? I know you're saying, 'Can you hear me?' cos that's what you'd say.
(LAUGHTER) I'm horny, horny, horny, horny (LAUGHTER) That's what's in their headphones.
So you're looking for celebrities doing things that rhyme with their names on your screen.
Let's go down to Rhyming Street.
(VARIOUS VOICES SPEAKING) (LAUGHTER) Really? OK, that was our trip down Rhyming Street.
How many do you think you can guess? Remember, if you don't get them all, the point will go to the other team.
We go seven! Wait, wait, wait.
Let them go first.
There is a red herring in there.
How many? Zero.
(LAUGHTER) I didn't know anyone.
What were they doing? Just see some geezer getting done up the bum.
(LAUGHTER) We're gonna go four.
Four.
Five.
Five.
Five.
Can you hear me? I can't hear you.
I can't hear what you're saying.
Five? We'll do five.
Right, go on, then.
Do it now? Yeah.
David Schwimmer being a light dimmer.
Let's have a look.
Yes, that's correct.
Are we doing it? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) She's got one.
What? The Pope smoking dope.
Yeah, let's have a look.
(APPLAUSE) Anna Friel doing a cartwheel.
Let's have a look.
Yes, that's correct.
(APPLAUSE) Levi Roots ironing suits.
Let's have a look.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Jo Brand in a one-man band.
Let's have a look.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Christian Bale hugging a whale.
Let's have a look.
Yeah! That's correct.
You got them all.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I got one! They've got them all but she wants to continue.
What is it? Usain Bolt shagging Nicholas Hoult.
Let's have a look.
Yeah, that's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Did you spot the red herring? What? Did you spot the red herring? (LAUGHTER) Did you spot the red herring? (LAUGHTER) I think I might have a red herring.
Oh, Mo Farah.
Did you spot the red herring? What? Did you spot the red herring? Was the red herring something like Sandra Bullock rubbing honey on her boobs? Let's have a look.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It was actually lemon curd, but that was the red herring.
Points for Fearne's team.
Yeah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And the scores at the end of that round are (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We're gonna play another mash up game so, Rochelle, would you like to have a look at the mash up board and buzz in and choose a game.
5 Second Fool Extreme.
5 Second Fool Extreme.
What about you, Anne-Marie.
Would you like to press the buzzer and choose a game.
Yep.
We're gonna mash it up with the Ding-A-Ling-A-Dong-A-Thon.
So let's play (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, and welcome to the Ding-A-Ling-A-5-Second-Fool-A-Long-A- Thon.
Ding-dong.
(LAUGHTER) So what we've done is we've mashed up the Ding-A-Ling-A-Dong-A-Long-A-Thon with 5 Second Fool, so I'm gonna ask you one question.
I want three answers in five seconds whilst you are, indeed, playing the Ding-A-Ling-A-Dong-A-Long-A-Thon.
Right.
Would you like to chalk up? I'm just warming up.
(LAUGHTER) Would you like to chalk your pole? This is good, by the way.
(LAUGHTER) Would you like to chalk up your pole? I don't know what I wanna do.
(LAUGHTER) Chalk your pole up.
Yeah, yeah, chalk it up.
Chalk your pole up.
That's it.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yeah.
Are you ready? I'm ready.
You'll go on the sound of the Olympic beep.
Yep.
Three things you can wear on your back.
On your what? On your back.
A shirt, a jumper, and a No, it's gone, it's gone.
A what? 5 Second Fool.
(LAUGHTER) Three things that are thinner than you moustache.
Three things that are Your dick.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) A piece of paper.
That's it.
5 Second Fool.
He's not getting it.
5 Second Fool.
Five seconds to answer.
Five seconds? He's not getting it.
Three things that you're scared of.
My wife.
(LAUGHTER) Keep going.
Keep going.
My wife.
It's gone, it's gone.
You've got five seconds.
My wife! (LAUGHTER) You've got five seconds.
She wouldn't have any of this.
(LAUGHTER) (KLAXON) That's it.
That's Chris Kamara.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That may be a 5 Second Fool record.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Did he score anything? No.
He scored absolutely nothing.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Next up to play is Rochelle.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hi, I'm Keith Lemon.
Welcome to the Ding-A-Ling-A-5-Second-Fool-A-Long-A- Thon.
I'm here with Rochelle.
You'll go on the Olympic beep.
Are you ready? Yeah.
OK.
Go on, Rochelle.
Three of Marvin's worst habits.
Farting, thinking he knows everything and snoring.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Three of your favourite members of the Saturdays.
Oh, you're such an arsehole.
Vanessa, Mollie, Frankie.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I just picked the first three.
Oh, that's gonna go down well, isn't it? Go on.
Three things you can watch on telly on a Saturday night.
Ninja Warrior, Britain's Got Talent, Keith And Paddy Picture Show.
Yeah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (KLAXON) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Rochelle, everyone.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Next up to play is Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hi.
Welcome to the Ding-A-Ling-A-5-Second-Fool-A-Long-A- Thon.
You will go on the Olympic beep.
OK.
Ready? Yep.
So ready.
Three things you inflate.
A balloon, a rubber Johnny and a Lilo.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Give me the name of three pop stars.
Boy George, Harry Styles and I can't get three.
(LAUGHTER) Three things you would never put in your mouth.
Oh, poo, ummeat and Gino's cock.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (KLAXON) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Fearne Cotton, everyone.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And the scores at the end of that round are (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We're going to an ad break.
See you in three.
Coming up after break Here it comes again.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING) Hooray! Welcome to Celebrity Juice My Birthday Special.
You having a good time? Yeah! Having a good time? Yeah! Good time? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It is the final round, so because it's my birthday I'm gonna be doing the mash up.
So we will do the buzzer round but I'm gonna mash it up, so get up the mash up board and let's see what we're gonna mash it up with.
The Box Game! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I hate that game.
So let's play The Buzzer Round, Sponsored By Boxes.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, it's The Buzzer Round, Sponsored By Boxes.
It's the mash up of all mash ups.
Holly, what's your buzzer this week? My buzzer is Holly's lovely box! (LAUGHTER) Holly has a lovely box.
Fearne, what's your buzzer? Fearne's massive dirty box! (LAUGHTER) Here's the question for Joey Essex.
How many sides are there on a box? What is it? I got one, two, three, four, five Wait, one, two, three, four (LAUGHTER) Five, six.
One, two, three.
One, two.
(LAUGHTER) Six! That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yes.
Have a look at your monitors.
Which two of you is this a birthday mash up of? Holly's amazing box! That's Holly's team.
Wow, that is terrifying.
Fearne Cotton and No! No, that's me.
That's me and Chris Kamara.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Which two of you is this birthday mash up of? (LAUGHTER) Fearne's stinking, rotten box! Holly's box filled with Schofield's fingers.
(LAUGHTER) Gino and Rochelle.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Which two of you is this a birthday mash up of? Holly's moist box.
Joey Essex and Fearne Cotton.
That's incorrect, it's just Fearne.
(LAUGHTER) OK, this is for Rochelle and Anne-Marie.
Whoever comes to the front and dances best to this song, I will give them a point for their team.
Go on, Rochelle, be careful.
With this box on my head? Yeah.
Oi, do the worm.
Do the worm.
(LAUGHTER) Are you ready? Anne-Marie, I'm telling you, you're gonna shift some albums after this.
(LAUGHTER) Let's go, hit the track.
# I'm living in a box, baby # I'm living in a cardboard box # I'm living in a box, baby # I'm living in a cardboard box # I'm living in a box, baby # I'm living in a cardboard box # I'm living in a box, baby I'm living in a cardboard box (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Round of applause if you think it was Rochelle.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Round of applause if you think it was Anne-Marie.
(LOUDER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) A point for Fearne's team.
I'll let you get back to the desk.
Oh, my God, this is a joke.
(LAUGHTER) A point for Gino if he can guess what I've thrown at his box by the sound it makes.
You ready, Gino? Yep.
For you guys at home, this is what it is.
Are you ready? Yep.
(LAUGHTER) What did I throw at your box? I dunno, a ball, a pizza? Here it comes again.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHTER) What the fuck? What the fuck? AUDIENCE: Gino! A bullet? No, what was it? A What was it? What was it? A flapjack.
Yes, it was.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It went through the box?! (KLAXON) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Oh, that's the klaxon.
That the end of the buzzer round, which was mashed up.
OK, I can tell you that the winning team that's gonna be the winner of tonight's show, and go home with that bag of gravel - that's a bag of gravel each - isFearne's team! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Here's your gravel.
Bring on the gravel.
Where's the gravel? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That was too funny.
But I'll see you for one last dance.
# I'm on to you, yeah, you # I'm not your number one # I saw you with her # Kissing and having fun # If you're giving all of your money and time # I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine # On you, yeah, you Ciao, adios, I'm done
Check out me sweet ass tyres.
You're probably thinking, 'What the fuck is going on?' Don't worry, it's just another over elaborate metaphor for how totally rad this show is.
Look, there's Holly Willoughby firing space lasers from her massive tits.
And there's Fearne Cotton riding a giant cock-shaped spaceship.
There's Gino D'Acampo firing dough balls.
Here we are taking a selfie.
Online presence.
Phew! We made it to the studio just in time for the best-selling show on telly.
What's that show on telly? It's Celebrity Juice on telly.
Not in 3-D.
I fucking wish it were, though.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello! Yes! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) # Happy birthday happy birthday to you # Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Hello! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, and welcome to Celebrity Juice.
I'm Keith Lemon and I am 35 years of age! Yeah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Let's meet our team captains.
First up, Holly Willoughby.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Happy birthday.
Thanks very much.
Have you had a nice day? Yeah, yeah.
Have you been spoiled? Yeah, yeah.
Did you get that hat? Do you like it? I do, actually.
Do I look exotic? You do.
You should see me dick, man.
(LAUGHTER) Holly, who's on your team? On my right, they are the ninjas of Saturday night TV.
It's Chris Kamara and Rochelle! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my left, he's creepy sick.
It's Joey Essex! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, let's meet our other team captain.
It's Fearne Cotton! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You've been 35 for, like, ten years.
It's really weird.
(LAUGHTER) How old are you? 36, yeah.
Fucking hell, you've had a rough life, haven't you.
(LAUGHTER) Hey, Fearne, who's on your team? Well, on my right we say ciao, adios to Anne-Marie.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my left, oh, my God, I can't believe it.
It's Ricky Wilson.
Oh.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my other left, oh, my God, I can't stand him.
It's Gino! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) AUDIENCE: Gino! You're not in the middle.
No, we're not sharing.
We're sharing the captain.
We're not sharing the captain chair.
I'm the captain, aren't I? I'm more on the thing than you are.
That's cos you keep encroaching on my space.
It's not your team.
It is my team.
It's our team.
What letter's on the front today? F for Fearne.
For fuck off! (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) She ruined you! (HUMMING CIAO, ADIOS) It's Anne-Marie! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (HUMMING CIAO, ADIOS) You sound exactly like me.
(LAUGHTER) Anne-Marie, welcome to Celebrity Juice.
Thanks.
It's going well for you, innit, cos you've had an incredible year.
You've had five Brit Award nominations, 12 million global single sales, and five billion streams, and finally, you're on Celebrity Juice.
Yeah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I made it! You've got a new album out.
I've got it.
Here it is.
It's called Speak My Mind.
Speak Your Mind.
(LAUGHTER) It's called Speak Your Mind.
(LAUGHTER) If we look at your album, you've got a megaphone.
Yeah.
And on the back you're pointing the megaphone to your spadge.
(LAUGHTER) Is that because you've sampled some of your queefs? (LAUGHTER) Sampled some of my what? Your queefs.
What's queefs? Your lady trumps.
You know (IMITATING QUEEFING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We've got some evidence that you often sample your queefs.
(LAUGHTER) There, there.
(IMITATING FARTING) I don't if that's a queef or a fart.
(LAUGHTER) That's definitely a fart, that one.
Oh, my God.
That's a queef.
Get out of me.
Could've laid an egg there.
(LAUGHTER) You've got a new single out called 2002.
Yeah.
Co-written by Celebrity Juice superfan Ed Sheeran.
Yeah.
Yes, Ed Sheeran.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) There you are.
He bought you a birthday present, didn't he? Yeah, he did.
He got you summat very special.
(LAUGHING) What did he get you? He got me the biggest dildo available.
(LAUGHTER) Good old Ed.
The thing is The thing is, you loved it.
No! (LAUGHTER) It was like The thing is, it's fucking worn out already.
(LAUGHTER) He said, 'I've got a present for you.
Come in here.
' I was like, 'Don't tell me it's a dildo.
' And it was.
At the moment you're dating a massive Hollywood actor, aren't you, who was the star He played the lead role in the film The Lego Movie.
Don't know if you've seen it.
I've got a picture of him.
Here he is, in his costume still.
(LAUGHTER) Who is that, then? That's Marshmello, American DJ.
Yeah.
I'm not dating him.
Oh, you're not dating him? No.
It's a bit like Daft Punk.
It's like he's an offspring from Daft Punk cos you don't know It could be you, Joey, Daft Punk, for all I know.
Is it you? Nah.
It ain't me, 100%.
(LAUGHTER) Is it me? Nah.
It can't be me.
(LAUGHTER) You haven't got that bucket in your fanny pack? No, not tonight.
You probably have.
It's in your bum bag.
What is in your bum bag? I'll get mine out if you get yours out.
(LAUGHTER) I got a phone.
Yeah, I think I match you on that one.
You got a phone? Yeah, I've got a phone.
I've got two phones.
AUDIENCE: Ooh! Why have you got two phones? Cos that one's more business, this one's more like Pleasure.
Hears what you're saying.
(LAUGHTER) I've got a tape measure.
Hold on! (LAUGHTER) Hold on! Hold on! He's got a tape measure.
What are you measuring? Because sometimes at night, if I'm trying to work things out in my house What? You wake up in the middle of night and think, 'I wanna measure the distance between the door and sofa'? Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
(LAUGHTER) I love Joey Essex's most important credit card on the front, Costco.
Costco! (LAUGHTER) Man of the people! Where do you think he buys his tape measures from? (LAUGHTER) I got it from Wickes.
All right.
(LAUGHTER) Why don't you just say it.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I love Wickes! Give me some free shit, bitch! I've got a banana.
(LAUGHTER) I love bananas.
You can have it.
Aw! Cheers, thank you.
Here's a pound.
Oh, thanks.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey, it's Ricky Wilson! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I tell you what, you've been on Juice a couple of times.
Yes, I love it.
We always play games that kinda rhyme with your name.
In the past we played Flicky Wilson, Picky Wilson, Bricky Wilson, all in homage to your amazing rhymable name.
Yeah.
Well, you'll never guess what Yep.
We've done it again.
We have, we've done it again.
(LAUGHTER) So let's play High Kicky Wilson! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (AS RICKY) Hey, I'm Ricky Wilson, and oh, my God, I can't believe I'm so far away from home.
I fucking predicted it right.
(LAUGHTER) It's not really Ricky Wilson.
He was a cardboard cutout, but the real Ricky Wilson is here.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) So, as you can see we've got a cardboard cutout of you.
Yes.
All I want you to do is kick as high as you can.
The higher you kick the more you score.
Cos you're quite renowned for, like, jumping quite high.
Look at you there.
You're about 12 feet there.
About 12 feet.
Can I come from this way? Whichever side you want.
Which side are you feeling? Go on.
Ricky Wilson playing High Kicky Wilson.
(SLOW CLAP) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You did it! Let's watch the replay.
Boom! OK, next up to play High Kicky Wilson is Gino D'Acampo! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) AUDIENCE: Gino! I hate shit like this.
(LAUGHTER) Gino It's never gonna happen.
Gino, seriously, what do you like? We sit down, have a chat and a few jokes.
This is a stupid game.
What? Like, if it was a chat show and it wasn't Celebrity Juice? Yes.
Well, fuck off to another show.
(LAUGHTER) That is very your style.
(LAUGHTER) And, plus, this kind of thing, they're against health and safety thing.
What about if I fall? (LAUGHTER) Shall I make it a bit easier and get a different cardboard cutout? Oh, yes, something my height.
OK, can we get the genuine life-size Gino D'Acampo cutout, please.
(LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) That is slightly shorter than I am.
No.
I think you've got different shoes on.
You've got heels on, haven't you? (LAUGHTER) There you are.
You've got your Tom Cruise shoes on tonight.
(LAUGHTER) It's my fault.
It looks like someone's put some false teeth in a cat's ass.
(LAUGHTER) What is that? This is Gino D'Acampo playing High Kicky Wilson.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yeah! How about that? Boom! Nice.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) The scores at the end of the round are: (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hey, they're two of my favourite birthday presents.
It's Rochelle and Chris.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Lovely to have you on the show.
There's a new series of Ninja Warrior on at the moment, yeah? Yes.
How's it going? Good.
It's fun, isn't it? It's the best job, honestly.
You know, at the wrap party, do you all get pissed up and try and have a go at the course yourself? We actually get pissed up every night.
(LAUGHTER) Rochelle, you just did the London Marathon, didn't you? Big up your chest.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Picture of you there.
What place did you come, then? I did it in, like, 5:27 hours, was my time.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I don't know what that means.
Very near the end.
Very near the end.
Mo Farah inwhat? Two hours? Yeah.
That's what he does.
No, he does TV ads.
(LAUGHTER) Have you done the marathon? Never done it.
You should do it.
What was your time? Do you remember? I did it Well, I collapsed.
Did you? No, I woke up in an ambulance.
Did you?! This is a bit downbeat on my birthday.
Can we cut that bit out? Ricky, did you win? Yeah, I won it.
Yeah.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) # Oh, my God, I can't believe it I've never been this far away (PHONE RINGING) Sorry.
Japan? Hello? (RAPID JAPANESE ON THE PHONE) 'Ey, you remember Eiji, our Japanese businessman? Remember when you saved him? He was tied up on the bed.
That was his mum on the phone then.
Aw.
Apparently he's not phoned home for a long time.
He's gone missing.
Oh, no.
And she wants him to phone ASAP.
And, Joey, it was a long fucking link, but should we just play (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Here I am with Joey Essex, who's about to embark on a mission that's gonna make him like the hero of tonight's show, hopefully, like last time when you saved Eiji, remember? I'll always save Eiji.
So what you've gotta do is find Eiji, bring him back so he can phone home.
All right, cool.
(LAUGHTER) Tell you what, as it's my birthday, if you bring him back, I'll give you ten points.
There might be some surprises on the way.
All right.
AUDIENCE: Ooh! Yeah, you'll go on the sound of a Japanese gong.
Do you know what that sounds like? Kong? (LAUGHTER) (JAPANESE GONG) Sounds like that.
Go! Go! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) He's outside.
That's sushi.
Follow Japanese items.
Follow Japanese items.
OK, I found Jackie Chan.
Follow Japanese items.
Soy sauce, that's it.
Fortune cookie, some other Japanese stuff.
Some wasabi.
What about the cupboard? Check the cupboard.
There.
Are there any clues in there? That's not Eiji.
Mate! That's a Halloween clown.
That's a Halloween clown.
Run past him.
Shit.
Run past him.
Run past him.
He's gone past him.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I don't understand what's going on, man.
What can you see? I've found Japanese Ah! (GROWLING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I've ruined my Gucci jeans, bruv.
Are you all right? I told you there'd be some surprises.
Fuck's sake.
What the fuck? Look on the floor.
Follow that Japanese arrow.
There's Japanese fucking items everywhere! (LAUGHTER) Go.
Up there.
What's up there? Go up there.
Red Whatever.
Open the bin, Joey.
Can you see Eiji? Is he anywhere? Can you see him? No, I can't see him anywhere.
Follow the Japanese items.
(LAUGHTER) No, not my back! (LAUGHTER) I found him! (LAUGHTER) Eiji.
There he is.
Eiji.
It's Joey Essex.
From Essex.
How are you? How are you? How are you? I'm here to save you.
(LAUGHTER) Right, Joey, get on the bike and bring him back.
Wait, I'm coming.
I can't even go.
(LAUGHTER) Mate, the gear's in gear two.
Push! The gear's in gear two.
And he's off.
(GROWLING) Eiji.
Eiji, we'll make it.
We're gonna go.
We're nearly there.
Yeah.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Send Eiji home.
Home.
Eiji go home.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) No hands.
No hands.
No hands.
Yes! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well done.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Do you wanna phone your mum? Yes.
Here you go.
Phone home, OK.
Hai.
Okasan, moshi-moshi.
That's ten points to Joey Essex! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Go! Take him.
We're going to an ad break.
It's my birthday.
See you in three.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Coming up after break I'm just warming up.
(LAUGHTER) Eh, this is good, by the way.
(LAUGHTER) Would you like to chalk up your pole? I don't know what I wanna do.
(LAUGHTER) Hooray! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back to Celebrity Juice! Because it's my birthday we're gonna get mashed up, and because we're gonna get mashed up, we're also mashing up the game so we're combining classic Celebrity Juice games.
So that's gonna be exciting.
Here's the mash up board.
Here it is.
Oh! All the Celebrity Juice classic games there, and we're gonna mash them up together.
It'll be exciting.
And what's more exciting, you'll win a surprise cos tonight we're giving away this special birthday gravel.
Check this.
Look at that! Tonight, if your team wins you will take home some gravel.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Chris, if you won some gravel tonight what would you do with it? Get stoned.
(LAUGHTER) Hey, he made a joke! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, it's now time for our very first birthday game mash up.
So, Holly, would you like to buzz in first.
Yeah.
What have you chosen? You've chosen Shouting One Out.
Love that one.
Fearne, are you ready to buzz in? Yep.
You've chosen Rhyming Street.
So let's play Rhyming One Out Street.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, and welcome to Rhyming One Out.
As you can see we've mashed up Shouting One Out with Rhyming Street.
You will have the sound cancelling headphones on, just like you do when we're playing Shouting One Out, but we will be going down to Rhyming Street.
so put your sound cancelling headphones on.
I don't understand what's going on.
It doesn't make any change if you do or don't.
(LAUGHTER) This is stupid.
(LAUGHTER) Can you hear me? What? I know you're saying, 'Can you hear me?' cos that's what you'd say.
(LAUGHTER) I'm horny, horny, horny, horny (LAUGHTER) That's what's in their headphones.
So you're looking for celebrities doing things that rhyme with their names on your screen.
Let's go down to Rhyming Street.
(VARIOUS VOICES SPEAKING) (LAUGHTER) Really? OK, that was our trip down Rhyming Street.
How many do you think you can guess? Remember, if you don't get them all, the point will go to the other team.
We go seven! Wait, wait, wait.
Let them go first.
There is a red herring in there.
How many? Zero.
(LAUGHTER) I didn't know anyone.
What were they doing? Just see some geezer getting done up the bum.
(LAUGHTER) We're gonna go four.
Four.
Five.
Five.
Five.
Can you hear me? I can't hear you.
I can't hear what you're saying.
Five? We'll do five.
Right, go on, then.
Do it now? Yeah.
David Schwimmer being a light dimmer.
Let's have a look.
Yes, that's correct.
Are we doing it? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) She's got one.
What? The Pope smoking dope.
Yeah, let's have a look.
(APPLAUSE) Anna Friel doing a cartwheel.
Let's have a look.
Yes, that's correct.
(APPLAUSE) Levi Roots ironing suits.
Let's have a look.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Jo Brand in a one-man band.
Let's have a look.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Christian Bale hugging a whale.
Let's have a look.
Yeah! That's correct.
You got them all.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I got one! They've got them all but she wants to continue.
What is it? Usain Bolt shagging Nicholas Hoult.
Let's have a look.
Yeah, that's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Did you spot the red herring? What? Did you spot the red herring? (LAUGHTER) Did you spot the red herring? (LAUGHTER) I think I might have a red herring.
Oh, Mo Farah.
Did you spot the red herring? What? Did you spot the red herring? Was the red herring something like Sandra Bullock rubbing honey on her boobs? Let's have a look.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It was actually lemon curd, but that was the red herring.
Points for Fearne's team.
Yeah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And the scores at the end of that round are (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We're gonna play another mash up game so, Rochelle, would you like to have a look at the mash up board and buzz in and choose a game.
5 Second Fool Extreme.
5 Second Fool Extreme.
What about you, Anne-Marie.
Would you like to press the buzzer and choose a game.
Yep.
We're gonna mash it up with the Ding-A-Ling-A-Dong-A-Thon.
So let's play (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello, and welcome to the Ding-A-Ling-A-5-Second-Fool-A-Long-A- Thon.
Ding-dong.
(LAUGHTER) So what we've done is we've mashed up the Ding-A-Ling-A-Dong-A-Long-A-Thon with 5 Second Fool, so I'm gonna ask you one question.
I want three answers in five seconds whilst you are, indeed, playing the Ding-A-Ling-A-Dong-A-Long-A-Thon.
Right.
Would you like to chalk up? I'm just warming up.
(LAUGHTER) Would you like to chalk your pole? This is good, by the way.
(LAUGHTER) Would you like to chalk up your pole? I don't know what I wanna do.
(LAUGHTER) Chalk your pole up.
Yeah, yeah, chalk it up.
Chalk your pole up.
That's it.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yeah.
Are you ready? I'm ready.
You'll go on the sound of the Olympic beep.
Yep.
Three things you can wear on your back.
On your what? On your back.
A shirt, a jumper, and a No, it's gone, it's gone.
A what? 5 Second Fool.
(LAUGHTER) Three things that are thinner than you moustache.
Three things that are Your dick.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) A piece of paper.
That's it.
5 Second Fool.
He's not getting it.
5 Second Fool.
Five seconds to answer.
Five seconds? He's not getting it.
Three things that you're scared of.
My wife.
(LAUGHTER) Keep going.
Keep going.
My wife.
It's gone, it's gone.
You've got five seconds.
My wife! (LAUGHTER) You've got five seconds.
She wouldn't have any of this.
(LAUGHTER) (KLAXON) That's it.
That's Chris Kamara.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That may be a 5 Second Fool record.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Did he score anything? No.
He scored absolutely nothing.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Next up to play is Rochelle.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hi, I'm Keith Lemon.
Welcome to the Ding-A-Ling-A-5-Second-Fool-A-Long-A- Thon.
I'm here with Rochelle.
You'll go on the Olympic beep.
Are you ready? Yeah.
OK.
Go on, Rochelle.
Three of Marvin's worst habits.
Farting, thinking he knows everything and snoring.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Three of your favourite members of the Saturdays.
Oh, you're such an arsehole.
Vanessa, Mollie, Frankie.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I just picked the first three.
Oh, that's gonna go down well, isn't it? Go on.
Three things you can watch on telly on a Saturday night.
Ninja Warrior, Britain's Got Talent, Keith And Paddy Picture Show.
Yeah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (KLAXON) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Rochelle, everyone.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Next up to play is Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hi.
Welcome to the Ding-A-Ling-A-5-Second-Fool-A-Long-A- Thon.
You will go on the Olympic beep.
OK.
Ready? Yep.
So ready.
Three things you inflate.
A balloon, a rubber Johnny and a Lilo.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Give me the name of three pop stars.
Boy George, Harry Styles and I can't get three.
(LAUGHTER) Three things you would never put in your mouth.
Oh, poo, ummeat and Gino's cock.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (KLAXON) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Fearne Cotton, everyone.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And the scores at the end of that round are (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) We're going to an ad break.
See you in three.
Coming up after break Here it comes again.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING) Hooray! Welcome to Celebrity Juice My Birthday Special.
You having a good time? Yeah! Having a good time? Yeah! Good time? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It is the final round, so because it's my birthday I'm gonna be doing the mash up.
So we will do the buzzer round but I'm gonna mash it up, so get up the mash up board and let's see what we're gonna mash it up with.
The Box Game! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I hate that game.
So let's play The Buzzer Round, Sponsored By Boxes.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, it's The Buzzer Round, Sponsored By Boxes.
It's the mash up of all mash ups.
Holly, what's your buzzer this week? My buzzer is Holly's lovely box! (LAUGHTER) Holly has a lovely box.
Fearne, what's your buzzer? Fearne's massive dirty box! (LAUGHTER) Here's the question for Joey Essex.
How many sides are there on a box? What is it? I got one, two, three, four, five Wait, one, two, three, four (LAUGHTER) Five, six.
One, two, three.
One, two.
(LAUGHTER) Six! That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yes.
Have a look at your monitors.
Which two of you is this a birthday mash up of? Holly's amazing box! That's Holly's team.
Wow, that is terrifying.
Fearne Cotton and No! No, that's me.
That's me and Chris Kamara.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Which two of you is this birthday mash up of? (LAUGHTER) Fearne's stinking, rotten box! Holly's box filled with Schofield's fingers.
(LAUGHTER) Gino and Rochelle.
That's correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Which two of you is this a birthday mash up of? Holly's moist box.
Joey Essex and Fearne Cotton.
That's incorrect, it's just Fearne.
(LAUGHTER) OK, this is for Rochelle and Anne-Marie.
Whoever comes to the front and dances best to this song, I will give them a point for their team.
Go on, Rochelle, be careful.
With this box on my head? Yeah.
Oi, do the worm.
Do the worm.
(LAUGHTER) Are you ready? Anne-Marie, I'm telling you, you're gonna shift some albums after this.
(LAUGHTER) Let's go, hit the track.
# I'm living in a box, baby # I'm living in a cardboard box # I'm living in a box, baby # I'm living in a cardboard box # I'm living in a box, baby # I'm living in a cardboard box # I'm living in a box, baby I'm living in a cardboard box (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Round of applause if you think it was Rochelle.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Round of applause if you think it was Anne-Marie.
(LOUDER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) A point for Fearne's team.
I'll let you get back to the desk.
Oh, my God, this is a joke.
(LAUGHTER) A point for Gino if he can guess what I've thrown at his box by the sound it makes.
You ready, Gino? Yep.
For you guys at home, this is what it is.
Are you ready? Yep.
(LAUGHTER) What did I throw at your box? I dunno, a ball, a pizza? Here it comes again.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHTER) What the fuck? What the fuck? AUDIENCE: Gino! A bullet? No, what was it? A What was it? What was it? A flapjack.
Yes, it was.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It went through the box?! (KLAXON) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Oh, that's the klaxon.
That the end of the buzzer round, which was mashed up.
OK, I can tell you that the winning team that's gonna be the winner of tonight's show, and go home with that bag of gravel - that's a bag of gravel each - isFearne's team! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Here's your gravel.
Bring on the gravel.
Where's the gravel? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That was too funny.
But I'll see you for one last dance.
# I'm on to you, yeah, you # I'm not your number one # I saw you with her # Kissing and having fun # If you're giving all of your money and time # I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine # On you, yeah, you Ciao, adios, I'm done