Celebrity Juice (2008) s19e08 Episode Script

1 Hi, I'm Keith Lemon.
Check out me sweet-ass titles.
You're thinking, "What the fuck is going on?" But don't worry, it's just another over-elaborate metaphor for how totally rad this show is.
Look! There's Holly Willaboobies firing space lasers from her massive tits.
There's Fearne Cotton riding a giant cock-shaped spaceship.
Ah! There's Gino D'acampo firing dough balls.
Here we are taking a selfie.
Online presence.
We made it to the studio in time for the best-selling show on telly.
What's that telly show on telly? Celebrity Juice on telly.
Not in 3D.
I fucking wish it were, though.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (CHEERING CONTINUES) Hurrah! Hello! I'm Keith Lemon.
Welcome to a special Celebrity Juice.
HURRAH! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Tonight's show is like the Juice royal family.
First up is Holly Willoughby.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS) Hi.
Who's on your team? On my right, let the Paddy see the juice, it's Paddy McGuinness.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS) Hello! Thank you.
And on my left, she's my favourite Spice Girl, probably my favourite person in the world, it's Emma Bunton! (AUDIENCE CHEERING AND WHISTLING) OK.
Let's see who's on Fearne Cotton's collective.
It's Fearne Cotton! (LAUGHTER / AUDIENCE CHEERS) Who's on your panel? On my left, it's the king of Saturday night TV, it's Mr Dermot O'Leary.
Hello! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) And on my right, it's the king of Monday morning radio, it's Grimmy! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Just Mondays.
Just Mondays.
Just Mondays.
Rest of the week trails off.
It's like a boy band.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) How's the radio show going? Very fun.
Really, really good.
You're not doing Fridays anymore.
(STAMMERS) No.
That starts next (MIMICS GRIMMY'S STAMMER) (ALL LAUGH) (STAMMERS) Cos I worry for people who do breakfast shows.
They suddenly become old quick, and go "Fuck off!" You what? They might be like, "You're not doing Thursdays.
And Wednesdays.
" (ALL LAUGH) You're great.
You got the highest ratings for I don't know how long.
Yeah.
I don't know how long.
For two years.
Two years.
We've got a picture of you celebrating.
There you are.
(ALL LAUGH) Wow.
Is that when you had a part and the theme was Rose West? (ALL LAUGH) Ohhh! (LAUGHS) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) We've also got a picture of Dermot in his Trainspotting years.
DERMOT: Oh! There he is! He was in Trainspotting.
Whoa! My lips! You look like you're auditioning for Twilight.
(ALL LAUGH) We couldn't find any early pictures of Patrick McGuinness.
Oh, here we go.
(EXCLAIMING) (REPEATS) No, we couldn't find any.
ALL: Aah! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Don't.
(WHISTLING) Couldn't find any.
(CHEERING) So we just went for the classic.
Here it is.
The classic! There it is.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (LAUGHS) I was just looking at me hair, going, "Oh, lovely, thick luxurious hair.
" (ALL LAUGH) Grimmy? Yeah? Since you were last on Celebrity Juice, you've been in an accident.
Have I? Yeah, you.
We've got a picture.
Oh, yeah.
(LAUGHTER) I'd just moved house, and I'd just got that car, and I turned a corner, and accidentally drove up my neighbour's car, like a monster truck.
What? Then it fell on its side.
HOLLY: Oh, God! I heard that you tried to avoid a cat in the road.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's still tormenting me, that cat.
You love animals? I do like animals.
We dug deeper and we found some footage of you over the years, dodging other animals.
OK.
There was a badger in the middle of the road.
(ALL LAUGH) You remember when you saw a hedgehog? (LAUGHS) Hedgehog in the way! Move.
AHHH! Remember when you saw that pigeon in middle of the road when you were in your van? OH, NO! Get out of the road! Get out of the road for that pigeon.
(ALL LAUGH) (OPERATIC) # I'll tell you what I want what I really, really want I want Emma Bunton (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) I'm back.
I come back every time.
See? For more.
See? You ain't come for ages, have you? (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Erm (LAUGHS) I've got to congratulate you because you've just been voted the nation's favourite Spice Girl.
Ohh! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Mel C came second, then it was Geri third, then it was Posh, then it was Scary.
Aahhh.
Did you text them? Or say, "Ah, fuck you! I'm the best?" (ALL LAUGH) Did you? No, I didn't.
But I should have.
(ALL LAUGH) Obviously Is it true that you've had surgery to make yourself smaller? Oh! (CHUCKLES) No.
Cos you used to be, scientifically, a giant.
I (LAUGHS) No, she did.
We got a picture when she used to be a giant.
(ALL LAUGH) I wish I was a bit taller.
Apparently, Jamie Theakston recently covered your face with his messy goo.
(LAUGHTER) Did he? It was a snail facial.
Snail facial.
Have you had it? No! Urgh, Jesus! A snail facial.
Does it get rid of wrinkles? Apparently.
If I put it on me balls, will me balls go right smooth? (ALL LAUGH) I don't know, but should we try it? Yeah! (LAUGHS) I heard that Paddy McGuinness has a really stretch foreskin.
Ah! Oh, my God! Where would you hear a rumour like that? It's in your biog, apparently.
Have you got a stretchy foreskin? Well, it's kind of as you can imagine on a 44-year-old man.
(ALL LAUGH) Everything's stretchy, innit? (ALL LAUGH) It says you can't swim and you've got a stretchy foreskin.
Someone's gunning for you.
And you can't rollerblade, can you? Where's that? Is this a new one, rollerblading? (LAUGHS) Oh, it tickles me.
It don't tickle me as much as seeing you on Rollerblades.
Look at this.
Look at it.
"Eurgh! It's cement! It's cement!" Where's that from? Shoes with wheels on? (LAUGHING DROWNS OUT SPEECH) I tell you what.
I'll give you a chance to win a point for your team if we can get you to rollerblade across the studio, yeah? (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Go on.
OK, let's play! # AVRIL LAVIGNE: Sk8er Boi Here at Celebrity Juice, we like to make dreams come true.
Now, Paddy McGuinness cannot swim, he can't ride a bike, but, hopefully, we're gonna help him learn how to roller skate.
So, all you've got to do is roller skate around the audience here Oh, come on! For double points Yeah.
.
.
pick up your favourite dish there, "bens on tost" (ALL LAUGH) Which, if you are not from Bolton is "beans on toast".
And then pick up the Guinness and bring it back here.
All you got to do is rollerblade.
I'll take you to the end.
HOLLY: Good luck, Paddy.
EMMA: Good luck! (AUDIENCE LAUGHS, CHEERS, APPLAUDS) How am I supposed to get off of there? I'll help you.
Come on.
(LAUGHTER) Go on.
Hang on.
Hang on.
AUDIENCE: OHH! Come on.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Not really.
Are you ready? Ready? Give us a little push! (KLAXON SOUNDS) (AUDIENCE CHEERS) (LAUGHTER) Go on, roller skate! AUDIENCE: OHH! (ALL EXCLAIMING) (WHOOPING) (WHISTLING) Now pick up the "bens and tost".
(LAUGHTER) AUDIENCE: WHOAA! (CHEERING REACHES CRESCENDO) WOW! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Go 'round.
What? Go 'round.
Paddy, it's gotta come back to me.
However you wanna play it.
Help.
You can help him.
Help him.
It's gotta come back to you? Yeah.
Just help (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) AUDIENCE: (CHANTING) Paddy.
Paddy.
Paddy Push him.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (KLAXON SOUNDS) (WHISTLING / LAUGHING) HOLLY: Yay! YEAH! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) What are you bringing me back here for? (REPEATS) You've done it! (SIGHS) I've just been told my the adjudicators I said "rollerblading" and they've given you roller skates, so no point for Patrick McGuiness.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) No! (BOOING AND WHISTLING) AUDIENCE: Boo! Paddy? What? I'm the fucking boss, so I'm gonna give you it anyway! (BELL TINGS) (AUDIENCE CHEERING AND WHISTLING) Get back.
AH! Ah.
Careful, careful.
Oh, my God.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Be careful.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) He's got a bulge the size of a roast chicken, it's Dermot O'Leary! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Dermot, recently, you had an accident on live TV, didn't you? FEARNE: Did you? You pissed your pants, didn't you? (EMMA GASPS) We've got pictures.
I didn't.
There you are, you pissed yourself.
Did you have a wee and you shook it a little bit, but you didn't go too far, or you'd start wanking? No.
Then you put it away and it went like this at you, "Ptt! Ha-ha!" (ALL LAUGH) No, that's not what happened.
On Sunday Brunch, there's only that one toilet, there's about 20 guests and I really needed the loo.
I ran to the toilet.
I had as you can see, very stylish mustard pants on.
They've got a really powerful tap in the toilet, and it went all over me.
They were like, "We're going live in 30 seconds.
So I had to style it out.
" It's a great story, Dermot.
I know one of the cameramen that work on Sunday Brunch.
We have another angle.
Explain this, then.
What happened here? (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) You crapped your pants.
No, no, no.
I didn't shit myself, yeah.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) You've just written another kids book? Yeah.
Yeah.
About my cat.
Is it actually about YOUR cat? It's about my cat who's blind Who's blind? How do you know it's blind? The vet goes, "She can't see.
" She keeps running into stuff.
Have you ever wondered what it must be like to be a blind cat? Yes, I have.
OK, then.
Let's play.
Me-oww! What did I just bump into? (MEOWING) OK, what is it like to be a blind cat? (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) Let me tell you about the course.
PADDY: Dermot! What I want you to do- PATRICK, I'M DOING THE THING! No.
No matter what happens in this game, you've still got your dignity.
Exactly! (LAUGHTER) (AUDIENCE CHEERS / KEITH LAUGHS) (WOLF WHISTLING) Dermot Hang on, I've got to This is like a childhood dream.
# If you touch me you'll understand what happiness means (ALL LAUGH / GROANING) (TOGETHER) # Look a new day (SOLO) # Has BEGUN # (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (STOPS SINGING) (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Could be in Cats.
OK, Dermot, what you've got to do, Come with me so you can remember this course.
Go around the scratching post.
On your hands and knees you'll do this.
(HISSES) Don't knock the milk off.
Yeah.
You've got to memorise this.
Yeah.
The spaces.
I think I've got it so far.
(ALL LAUGH) You know you're gonna be blind? I know! You'll step up over the litter tray that's full of poo.
That is scaring me, this bit.
Yeah.
Then, you will go under the table, try not to knock the fish bowl.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
Then you will come up here and ring the bell.
Yeah.
Just kinda like That will get you two points for your team.
Woo! Fearne.
Yeah.
I want you and Grimmy to guide him.
OK.
Audience, you can help him too.
Yeah, yeah.
Dermot.
What is under your tail? What is under my tail? Just Er, his bumhole.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) That was an unnecessary bit of detail.
(LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH) If you take the blindfold off during the course, you're out.
Not gonna do it.
Do you want to put it on? Do it.
(HUMS "MEMORY") Oops.
Can you see? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You CAN see? No, no, no.
You can't see.
So I'm just gonna tell you the course again.
'Round the scratching poles, don't knock any of the milk off.
Yeah.
Then you go over the litter tray which is filled with poo.
I see.
Then under the table, then ring the bell.
Yeah.
Yeah.
On your hands and knees.
FEARNE: Take it slow, Dermi.
Go as slow (ALL TALK AT ONCE) Everyone encourage him.
You'll go on the sound of the "me-oww".
Guide him, OK? (AUDIENCE CLAPS, CHANTS) Dermot! Dermot! Dermot! ME-OWW! Go! Go! (CHEERING) GRIMMY: Straight, straight, straight.
FEARNE: Right a bit.
Right a bit.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS) Smashing it.
Smashing it.
Right.
Crawl 'round.
More right! Keep going.
Stop! Stop! Stop.
Close.
Close.
Stand up cos it's the poo.
Stand up.
So go a bit further.
Stand.
No, don't touch it! Don't touch it! Stand up.
Stand up.
Don't touch it! Don't touch the poo! HOLLY: Leg over.
Stand up! Leg over.
Leg over.
Lift your leg over! Really high.
Lift your leg up! Really high.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING) ALL: OHH! OK, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Really When do I go across? Put your leg up really high.
OK.
Good.
Keep going.
A little jump.
Go over.
Yep.
OK, go over.
Jump over! (AUDIENCE SHOUTING) Over, over.
Yeah! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Yeah! OH! Lift your leg up! OK.
Down! Down! Under the table.
To your right a little bit.
To your right.
That's it! Straight, straight, straight.
Lower, lower, lower.
No! Straight, straight! Straight, straight! OK.
Careful.
That's it.
Right, stand up, stand up, stand up.
You're out.
You're out.
Stand up, you're out of the table.
Ring the bell.
Ring the bell, Dermot.
No- YEAH! He's done it! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (ALL LAUGH) (AUDIENCE CHEERS) (ALL CONTINUE LAUGHING) Let's have a look at an action replay.
# THE CURE: The Lovecats Oh, under the table.
Under the table.
Under the table.
(LAUGHTER) YES! (CHEERING) Yaaay! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Dermot O'Leary, everyone! (WHISTLING / CHEERING DROWNS OUT SPEECH) And the scores at the end of that round are ALL: Sha-Ting! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) We're going to an ad break.
See you in three.
Coming up after break # My friends make me smile # If only for a while You can make me whole again (AUDIENCE CHEERS) (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) HURRAH! Welcome back to Celebrity Juice.
Having a good time? EMMA AND PADDY: YEAH! Having a good time? ALL: YEAH.
Having a good time? (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Everyone's having a good time.
Emma Bunton.
Yes! Is it true you like a bit of wibbly wobbly? I love a bit of wibbly wobbly.
OK, let's play! The Wibbly Wobbly Game in association with Jonathan Ross.
Wibbly wobbly, wibbly wob (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) Hello, and welcome to the Wibbly Wobbly Game.
You know how it works.
We get you on the Wibbly Wobbly nose of Jonathan Ross, I whisper a word into your ear, then you have to describe that word to your panel and hopefully they'll be able to know what the word is.
It's so easy.
First up is Paddy McGuinness! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) I don't think it is, Paddy.
(WHISTLING) Oh! (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) How are you going to see his face? You're not.
It's gonna be harder for you.
Oh! Ooh, yeah.
I think he's gonna enjoy this.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) (ALL LAUGH) Oh, my God! I'm gonna (LAUGHTER) Fuckin' hell! (ALL LAUGH) Oh, fuck off! (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Er, it's a thing when you wee on somebody in the bath for pleasure.
Like, erm, ooh, I don't know what the word for that is.
You wee on someone in- A golden shower? Yeah! (BELL TINGS) (CHEERING DROWNS OUT SPEECH) This is Yeah? (LAUGHTER) I threw them at him earlier when I were on me roller skates.
Oh, er Baked beans.
Beans on toast.
YES! (BELL TINGS / APPLAUSE) Oh, yeah (!) It's when you masturbate somebody Yeah? With a part of your body, but not your hand.
WHAT? You masturbate someone With your chest.
With your chest.
Tit wank! (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (BELL TINGS) Oh, tit wank.
(KLAXON SOUNDS) Oh! Paddy McGuinness! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Oh! Next up, it's Emma Bunton! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Oh, my God! Just don't lie on it.
On your back.
I already want to swear.
You don't need a piss, do you? I've had two children.
All right.
Makes you feel loosey-goosey.
OK.
Can I start it? Yeah.
Go.
OK.
Hold on.
OK.
Let me switch it on.
(SCREAMS) (APPLAUSE) (LAUGHTER) Oh! It's at the end of my body! Shoe? Platform? Shoe? Foot? Yeah.
And, it's where you go (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Where you go to work is another Office? (SQUEALING) No! Office? Sounds like "knob".
What? Corn on the cob? No.
Toenail? Flob? Oh! Emma, hold your fronts, hold your fronts.
My what? Hold your fronts.
(ALL LAUGH) Give us another clue.
Foot.
And you go to a j (LAUGHS) Foot job? Yes! Foot job? It's a foot job.
(BELL TINGS / LAUGHTER) Foot job? What? (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) Like a hand job but it's with feet.
Oh, no! Fuck off! (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) What is that? Foot job! Can she Please.
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God! (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) (ALL LAUGH) (SCREAMS) AH! Stop it.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Oh! (KLAXON SOUNDS) Emma Bunton, everyone! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) And the scores at the end of that round are Sha-Ting! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS / (WHISTLING) The Wibbly Wobbly Game in association with Jonathan Ross.
Wibbly wobbly, wibbly.
(CHEERING CONTINUES) Dermot, you know how you host the X Factor which is a competition all about singing? Singing show.
You're right.
There's a gap in the market where finding people's skills that's not just singing.
Go on.
There are varied skills.
That's a good idea.
It's a good idea.
We should try it out on Celebrity Juice.
Interesting.
LET'S PLAY! (CHEERING) HELLO! Hello.
Grrreat! My name is Keith Lemon, I'm your host for UK & Eire's Got Secret Skills.
YES! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) This is a completely new, different and very unique show in which our doschaines, our deschaines What are doschaines? Fuck off.
.
.
will try and prove to us that they do indeed have secret skills.
But will our adjudicators believe that they do have secret skills? If they do, they'll win a point.
If I'm impressed, I will turn on my golden shower here, and then they will get double points.
First up to do this is Patrick McGuinness! Oh! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) All right.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) What's your name? My name's Patrick.
I'm from Bolton.
How old are you? I'm 44.
All right.
All right.
Hey, you look great for it.
He looks great.
Thank you.
What's your secret skill? I have no idea till I get out there.
You don't know your secret skill because that's on the AUTOCUE, isn't it? Right.
(LAUGHS) (ALL LAUGH) Paddy, from Bolton.
Yeah.
Paddy from Bolton.
He looks good.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (READS AUTOCUE) (ALL LAUGH) No.
No.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS) (LAUGHS) Check your foreskin.
Make the pound coin meet the bellend.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) To be honest if they were five-pence pieces, I might be able to do it.
(LAUGHTER) I can't get me penis out on telly putting pound coins up it.
All right.
Oh, look.
We were just having a joke.
Here's your proper one.
It's a joke about your elasticated foreskin.
Thank you.
(READS AUTOCUE) (ALL LAUGH) (APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH) Sometimes you don't know, do ya? You don't.
You don't know.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) Give me the thumbs-up when you want the music.
(Oh.
) (GRIMMY LAUGHS) I'm gonna sing it high.
(MUSIC STARTS) (SOPRANO) # Twinkle twinkle little star # How I wonder what you are # Up above the sky so high (ALL LAUGH) # Like a diamond in the sky I've got more talent in my ball bags.
# Twinkle twinkle little star (LAUGHING) # How I wonder what you are # (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Patrick McGuiness, everyone! Thank you.
Next up, it's Nicholas Grimshaw! HOLLY: It takes a lot! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Listen.
(REPEATS) How you feelin'? Yeah, a little bit nervous.
I'm all right.
I'm getting a quite scared, but excited to get out there and show my secret skill.
Great.
Here he goes.
Great.
OK.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (LAUGHS) (CHUCKLES) Hello, everybody.
(READS AUTOCUE) Oh, fucking hell! (CONTINUES READING) (AUDIENCE REACTS) (ALL LAUGH) (CHEERING DROWNS OUT SPEECH) SPAGHETTI! That'll take me about 40 minutes.
Yeah.
Get it down ya.
Or that like an apple? Nicholas? Tell me when you want the music.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Urgh! Onion.
He's going the onion.
He's going the onion.
(MAN SHOUTS) Grimmy! (MUSIC STARTS) (LAUGHING AND CHEERING) It's really tangy.
(LAUGHTER) (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) PADDY: Oh, no.
(ALL TALK AT ONCE) EMMA: He likes them, doesn't he? HOLLY: He's doing so well.
He's doing so well.
PADDY: OH! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Our adjudicators say: Yes, he has secret skills! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Next up, it's Emma, Holly and Fearne.
Yes, please! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Really excited, really excited.
What are we doing together? Really excited.
I like to see young, fresh girls with new skills.
I don't know what your skill is, but read the screen and let us know.
OK.
Oh! (CHUCKLES) (READING TOGETHER) Oh, nice (!) (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Are we actually singing this? Do we know the words? Which one's Kerry Katona? Hang on.
Me.
I definitely can't sing.
Not that Kerry can't.
Let me know when you want the music.
(AUDIENCE BOOS) (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) E-e (LAUGHS) (MUSIC STARTS) # If you see me walking down the street # Staring at the sky Oh, yeah.
# Dragging my two f I don't know.
What about the word OK.
# Pass me by # I still # Make me cry ALL: # You can make me whole again (ALL TALK AT ONCE) # Time is laying heavy on my heart There are the words.
# Seems I've got too much of it # Since we've been apart # My friends make me smile if only for while # You can make me whole again (CHEERING AND LAUGHING) ALL: # Looking back on when we first met # I cannot escape and I cannot forget # Baby you're the one # You still turn me on You can make me whole again Yes.
YEAH! Yeah! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Oh! It's a golden shower! # TAKE THAT: Rule The World The adjudicator, yes, you've got secret skills and you got the golden shower.
Cat Flaps, everyone! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Next up it's Paddy, Grimmy and Dermot! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Very good, lads.
Young lads with dreams.
I don't know what your secret skill is, but we'll find out.
Just read off the screen.
Yes! A dance group.
Yes! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) They're just discussing what they're gonna do now.
I'm sure that they've never done this before.
This is Modem.
Are you ready? DERMOT: All right.
Yeah.
(REPEATS) Yeah.
He's got his hands up.
OK.
Ready? Give me a thumbs-up.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (TECHNO DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (MUSIC STOPS) (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Golden shower! # WESTLIFE: You Raise Me Up Very good.
Really good.
And the scores at the end of that round are Sha-Ting! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (WHOOPING) Going to an ad break.
See you in three! Coming up after break (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (AUDIENCE CHEERS) (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (LAUGHING) HURRAH! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) What a fantastic show.
Welcome back to Celebrity Juice.
Still to play for their final round, it's the Buzzer Round! (AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) A-ma-zing.
Buzz in if you know the answer.
If you don't know the answer, be a chancer.
Holly, what's your buzzer? "Shiri boot!" Shiri boot.
I think that's Patrick McGuinness there.
Fearne, what's your buzzer this week? "Do you know my friend, Rita Ora?" (ALL LAUGH) That's Nicholas name dropping again.
(ALL LAUGH) OK, here's the first question.
What did Nick Grimshaw have named after him in Oldham? I know.
Press the button.
(ALL TALK AT ONCE) A gritter.
A gritter.
That's correct! There's a picture there.
Look.
"Nick Gritshaw".
Nick Gritshaw! Gritshaw.
Who's this? Oooh! Do you know my friend, Dracula? (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Is that Kanye? No.
Over to Holly's team.
No.
It's him.
Let's have a look.
HOLLY: You do it.
What? That's correct.
(BELL TINGS) (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Who's this? (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Do you know my friend, Sadie Frost? HOLLY: Er, Buddy! Fearne's team.
I'm gonna say, is it Paddy dressed as Boy George? Let's have a look.
To be fair That's correct.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) That looks like you.
Who's this? Shiri boots! I don't know where you're gettin' 'em from.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Is it Paddy? HOLLY: Paddy! You say Paddy.
Let's have a look.
No, it's a baby dog.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) What? I thought it was.
Who or what is Robbie Williams being harassed by at the moment? "Shiri boot".
That's Holly's team.
Howard.
Howard.
Howard.
From the Halifax ad.
(ALL LAUGH) Howard Donald.
Is that his name? Oh, from Take That.
No.
That's incorrect.
Apparently, it's peacocks.
They keep pecking at his car.
What's the peacock's name? BOTH: Howard! Actually, it says it's Tony.
Oh, give us Oh.
(KLAXON SOUNDS) That's the end of the Buzzer Round.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Which means, at the end of this week's Celebrity Juice, I can tell you the winning team is HOLLY: We've done it.
(SILENCE) It's a draw! (GASPING) ALL: Ahhh! (BOOING) That's never happened.
What we're gonna do is have Dermot and Paddy do an arm wrestle right here.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) (CHEERING DROWNS OUT SPEECH) AUDIENCE: (CHANTS) Dermot! Dermot! Dermot! You're quite big, aren't you? Where do you wanna go? Do you wanna go here or here? Can't we have a dance-off? Hold on.
Hold on.
You wanna do a dance-off? (LAUGHING) Don't NO! Would you rather an arm wrestle or a dance-off? (AUDIENCE SHOUTING RESPONSES) Dance-off? MAN: Dance-off! It's a dance-off.
The audience has spoken.
The audience has spoken.
Let us do arm wrestle.
No, no.
It's a dance-off.
It's a dance-off.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) The audience are gonna decide who the best dancer is.
Can we not just do an arm wrestle? Let's drop a dirty beat! (TECHNO DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) (AUDIENCE CHEERS) (AUDIENCE CHEERS) (WHISTLING) That'll do.
I'm not sure.
Can you pull a testicle? (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) I think I might have just done that with that move.
Really good moves.
HOLLY: Well done.
(AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS) Was that Dermot O'Leary? PADDY: WHAT? (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Or was it Paddy McGuinness? Come on! (AUDIENCE CHEERS LOUDLY) And the winner is Holly's team! (CHEERING / WHISTLING) I was Keith Lemon.
If I don't see you through week, I'll see you through window.
Let's dance! # SPICE GIRLS: Spice Up Your Life Tara! ("SPICE UP YOUR LIFE" CONTINUES PLAYING)