Doctor Who (1963) s19e17 Episode Script
Black Orchid, Part One
(DOCTOR WHO THEME) (SNARLING) (MAN CHOKING) (SNARLING) (WHOOSHING) Where are we? Earth again.
I did say I wanted to stay with the crew for a while.
You can stop trying to get me back to Heathrow.
I have.
You certainly know how to fly this crate, don't you? What's the matter, old girl? Why this compulsion for planet Earth? NYSSA: What is this place? DOCTOR: A railway station! Ah, but when? I haven't been born yet.
It's interesting, isn't it? And no jet lag.
Shall we go outside? You think that wise, considering what we've just done to London? Oh, that would've happened if we'd been there or not.
-All part of Earth's history.
-I hope you're right.
Well, I'd like to take a look.
Come on.
So, what is a railway station? Well, a place where one embarks and disembarks from compartments on wheels, drawn along these rails by a steam engine.
Rarely on time.
-What a very silly activity.
-You think so? As a boy, I always wanted to drive one.
Good afternoon, sir.
I'm Tanner, Lord Cranleigh's chauffeur.
-Lord Cranleigh? -Yes, sir.
-We're expected? -Oh, yes, sir.
You are the Doctor? Indeed.
May I ask what you're staring at? I'm sorry, miss.
Uh, please, sir, if you don't mind.
The game's already started.
His lordship won the toss and decided to bat first to give you time to get here.
That train's always late.
-That's very thoughtful of his lordship.
-Yes, sir.
But I do think we should hurry.
His lordship is a first class bat, but I'm not quite sure how strong his support is this year.
Come on, you lot! (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) Ah, there you are, man.
Good.
I'm Cranleigh.
Didn't expect four of you.
Good lord Ah, so sorry.
Do forgive me for staring.
You look exactly like my fiancée.
It's quite uncanny.
This is Nyssa.
-You must meet her.
-And Adric and Tegan.
How do you do? Well, you better pad up, Doctor.
Got your gear? -Ah, I regret I have none.
-No matter.
I'll fix you up.
We're taking a terrible thrashing, I made a duck.
-Smutty said he'd send a useful bat.
-Smutty? Smutty Thomas.
Oh, don't you call him Smutty at Guy's? -Uh, no, as a matter of fact.
-Oh.
He was Smutty at school.
Now, the wicket's very green, the ball's keeping low.
-Any good with the ball? -Not bad.
Good.
Medium pace? Slow? Fast.
Top ho! (CHEERING) Good luck, old boy.
Middle stump! Well played, sir! Splendid! Mother, may I introduce Tegan and Adric.
How do you do? What enchanting names.
And this is Nyssa.
-How extraordinary! -LORD CRANLEIGH: Yes, isn't it? -Worcestershire.
-Apparently not.
-Nyssa, did you say? -Yes.
Forgive me, my dear, but you must be a Worcestershire Talbot.
No, I'm not.
-Are you quite sure? -Quite sure.
-Robert? -Uncanny.
Quite uncanny.
Two peas in a pod.
Positively two peas in a pod.
I beg your pardon? Forgive a pardonable curiosity, my dear, but where are you from? -The Empire of Traken.
-Really? (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) Your Doctor substitute has made your score almost respectable, Charles.
Perfectly ripping performance.
Much better player than Smutty.
Oh, well bowled! Yes! Well done! Howzat! Howzat! Howzat! Ripping performance, old boy! Come over to the house and meet the mater.
Mother, may I present the Doctor.
-How do you do? -How do you do? -Doctor who? -I'm sorry, Mother, but he'd like to remain incognito and I think we should respect that -after what he's done today.
-Of course.
-First rate, sir! -Sir Robert Muir, the Chief Constable.
-How do you do? -A superb innings, worthy of the master.
-The Master? -Well, the other doctor.
-WG Grace.
-Yes, of course.
Are you able to stay for the ball, Doctor? -You must.
I insist now, all of you.
-Thank you.
We have one every year in aid of the hospital for sick children.
-It's fancy dress, isn't it? -Yes.
Well, we haven't got any costumes.
I was just thinking how charming yours was.
Oh, costumes are no problem.
We keep a selection for last-minute guests.
I'm sure we can fix you up.
Well, Doctor, how would you like to take a cocktail to your bath? Well, certainly a cold drink.
What do you do with a cocktail in a bath? Drink it, old boy.
(SNARLING) Ah! Ann, my dear.
Come and meet the hero of the day and Great Scott! Ann Talbot, my fiancée, this is Nyssa.
-How do you do? -How do you do? And this is the Doctor and Tegan and Adric.
Worcester! Have you an Uncle Percy? Not a Worcestershire Talbot.
-Then where are you from? -Traken.
-Where's that? -Near Esher, isn't it? Could there be Talbots near Esher? Not possible.
The hunt isn't good enough.
Well, Doctor, what can I offer you? Brewster here can make absolutely anything quite superbly.
Well, I do have a terrible thirst.
Perhaps, uh -A lemonade with lots of ice.
-Uh-huh.
Ann? -The same as the Doctor, please.
-My dear? -A screwdriver, please.
-Ah! A screwdriver, Brewster.
-And? -Thank you, I'll have the same.
(DOCTOR CLEARING THROAT) Uh, better make that orange juice for the children, Brewster.
-Bob, same again? -Thank you, Charles.
LORD CRANLEIGH: And a Tom Collins.
DOCTOR: Well, it's very charming of you to make us so welcome.
ANN: Not at all, Doctor.
-Thank you.
-LORD CRANLEIGH: Thank you.
Shall we? -Are you really from Esher? -I don't even know where Esher is.
TEGAN: How beautiful.
The black orchid.
Yes, it is beautiful.
It was found on the Orinoco by my eldest son, George.
Of course.
I thought I recognised the name.
George Cranleigh, the botanist, the explorer.
But the Brazilian forests took their toll.
He never returned from his last expedition two years ago.
I'm sorry.
Ann was engaged to him.
But I'm delighted to say that we're still going to have her in the family.
If Charles marries the right girl.
Nyssa doesn't even know where Esher is.
Which shows great taste.
I'm sorry, Nyssa.
Our curiosity has been vulgar enough.
It's high time we all change.
Yes, well, I'm ready for a bath.
So, if the ladies will excuse us, I'll show you to your room, Doctor.
Oh, bring your drink.
You, too, old boy.
Well, I must flatter myself.
Call that an admirable choice.
It certainly is.
What are you going to wear? Now, that's better left as a surprise, I think.
Now then, I better attend to that young man.
-What was his name again? -Adric.
-Scandinavian? -Uh, not quite.
He's Alzarian.
I never could remember all those funny Baltic bits.
Geography was never my strong point.
My brother stole all the thunder there.
Positive Odin.
-Till later, then.
-Yes.
-You know the dances of this period? -Well, I know the Charleston.
I learnt it for a play when I was at school.
-How's it performed? -I'll show you.
-Is that dancing? -Well, it's not bad.
No, it's just that on Traken, our dancing is much more formalised.
-And far more complex.
-You dance? It's part of my training.
And although I say it myself, I'm considered quite good.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Come in.
My dears, I've had an absolutely ripping idea.
Oh, how lovely! That's lovely.
My dear, I'm so glad you think so.
Look.
There, with the head dress.
Nobody, but nobody, will be able to tell us apart.
-Isn't that topping? -Quitetopping.
Just as long as I don't show this.
-A mole? -Yes.
You haven't got one, have you? -No.
-Good.
(WATER RUNNING) (DOCTOR SINGING) (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) DOCTOR: Hello? Who's that? (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) Splendid.
I rather think this will be fun.
-I think you have to ask me to dance.
-Why? Because that's what everybody else is doing.
-What, all those people? -Not me, you idiot, each other.
Come on, ask me.
-I don't think I could do it.
-Yes, you can.
Just follow me.
Come on.
I hope Lord Cranleigh's dancing with the right girl.
-It's a little naughty, really.
-Well, I think it's a great hoot.
-A great what? -Hoot.
Hoot.
Oh, yes.
There is one way of not getting you mixed up.
-What's that? -By having every dance with you.
Foiled again.
You're the host.
(BOTH CHUCKLING) Why do I always let my curiosity get the better of me? (MUSIC STOPS) -Nyssa? -Guess.
-Ann? -Guess.
(LORD CRANLEIGH CHUCKLING) I might've known they were up to something.
-Now no one can tell them apart.
-I can.
-How? -That's a secret.
-Where's the Doctor? -Don't know.
-What's he wearing? -I don't know that either.
You should ask Lady Cranleigh to dance.
Well, look, I'm not really very good at it.
Anyway, I'd much rather eat.
Why didn't I leave after the cricket? You have to excuse me for a moment.
Latoni, what are you doing here? Get back to your quarters at once.
-My friend has escaped.
-What? He hit me from behind and escaped.
-Where was Digby? -Digby has gone.
-Where? -I don't know.
I have not seen him today.
Come with me.
At last.
(LOCK CLICKS) Wherever this is.
You deserve a better dancer than me, my dear.
I must find you someone your own age.
-But you're a beaut dancer, Sir Robert.
-Beaut? That I think is a great hoot.
(MUSIC CHANGES) -Charleston! -What? Whoa! Marvellous! Absolutely excellent! Oh, excuse me.
Enjoying yourselfNyssa? -Nyssa? Are you sure, Adric? -Yes.
-You can't do that.
-Can't I? (MUSIC STOPS) (LOCK CLICKS) Hello? Hello? Hello? Portuguese.
Well, one of these must get me out of here.
That was great fun.
Shall we go back to the terrace? I'm afraid we must return to the others.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Who are you? Let me go.
Please let me go! Stop it! Let me go, whoever you are! Help! Help! (SNARLING)
I did say I wanted to stay with the crew for a while.
You can stop trying to get me back to Heathrow.
I have.
You certainly know how to fly this crate, don't you? What's the matter, old girl? Why this compulsion for planet Earth? NYSSA: What is this place? DOCTOR: A railway station! Ah, but when? I haven't been born yet.
It's interesting, isn't it? And no jet lag.
Shall we go outside? You think that wise, considering what we've just done to London? Oh, that would've happened if we'd been there or not.
-All part of Earth's history.
-I hope you're right.
Well, I'd like to take a look.
Come on.
So, what is a railway station? Well, a place where one embarks and disembarks from compartments on wheels, drawn along these rails by a steam engine.
Rarely on time.
-What a very silly activity.
-You think so? As a boy, I always wanted to drive one.
Good afternoon, sir.
I'm Tanner, Lord Cranleigh's chauffeur.
-Lord Cranleigh? -Yes, sir.
-We're expected? -Oh, yes, sir.
You are the Doctor? Indeed.
May I ask what you're staring at? I'm sorry, miss.
Uh, please, sir, if you don't mind.
The game's already started.
His lordship won the toss and decided to bat first to give you time to get here.
That train's always late.
-That's very thoughtful of his lordship.
-Yes, sir.
But I do think we should hurry.
His lordship is a first class bat, but I'm not quite sure how strong his support is this year.
Come on, you lot! (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) Ah, there you are, man.
Good.
I'm Cranleigh.
Didn't expect four of you.
Good lord Ah, so sorry.
Do forgive me for staring.
You look exactly like my fiancée.
It's quite uncanny.
This is Nyssa.
-You must meet her.
-And Adric and Tegan.
How do you do? Well, you better pad up, Doctor.
Got your gear? -Ah, I regret I have none.
-No matter.
I'll fix you up.
We're taking a terrible thrashing, I made a duck.
-Smutty said he'd send a useful bat.
-Smutty? Smutty Thomas.
Oh, don't you call him Smutty at Guy's? -Uh, no, as a matter of fact.
-Oh.
He was Smutty at school.
Now, the wicket's very green, the ball's keeping low.
-Any good with the ball? -Not bad.
Good.
Medium pace? Slow? Fast.
Top ho! (CHEERING) Good luck, old boy.
Middle stump! Well played, sir! Splendid! Mother, may I introduce Tegan and Adric.
How do you do? What enchanting names.
And this is Nyssa.
-How extraordinary! -LORD CRANLEIGH: Yes, isn't it? -Worcestershire.
-Apparently not.
-Nyssa, did you say? -Yes.
Forgive me, my dear, but you must be a Worcestershire Talbot.
No, I'm not.
-Are you quite sure? -Quite sure.
-Robert? -Uncanny.
Quite uncanny.
Two peas in a pod.
Positively two peas in a pod.
I beg your pardon? Forgive a pardonable curiosity, my dear, but where are you from? -The Empire of Traken.
-Really? (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) Your Doctor substitute has made your score almost respectable, Charles.
Perfectly ripping performance.
Much better player than Smutty.
Oh, well bowled! Yes! Well done! Howzat! Howzat! Howzat! Ripping performance, old boy! Come over to the house and meet the mater.
Mother, may I present the Doctor.
-How do you do? -How do you do? -Doctor who? -I'm sorry, Mother, but he'd like to remain incognito and I think we should respect that -after what he's done today.
-Of course.
-First rate, sir! -Sir Robert Muir, the Chief Constable.
-How do you do? -A superb innings, worthy of the master.
-The Master? -Well, the other doctor.
-WG Grace.
-Yes, of course.
Are you able to stay for the ball, Doctor? -You must.
I insist now, all of you.
-Thank you.
We have one every year in aid of the hospital for sick children.
-It's fancy dress, isn't it? -Yes.
Well, we haven't got any costumes.
I was just thinking how charming yours was.
Oh, costumes are no problem.
We keep a selection for last-minute guests.
I'm sure we can fix you up.
Well, Doctor, how would you like to take a cocktail to your bath? Well, certainly a cold drink.
What do you do with a cocktail in a bath? Drink it, old boy.
(SNARLING) Ah! Ann, my dear.
Come and meet the hero of the day and Great Scott! Ann Talbot, my fiancée, this is Nyssa.
-How do you do? -How do you do? And this is the Doctor and Tegan and Adric.
Worcester! Have you an Uncle Percy? Not a Worcestershire Talbot.
-Then where are you from? -Traken.
-Where's that? -Near Esher, isn't it? Could there be Talbots near Esher? Not possible.
The hunt isn't good enough.
Well, Doctor, what can I offer you? Brewster here can make absolutely anything quite superbly.
Well, I do have a terrible thirst.
Perhaps, uh -A lemonade with lots of ice.
-Uh-huh.
Ann? -The same as the Doctor, please.
-My dear? -A screwdriver, please.
-Ah! A screwdriver, Brewster.
-And? -Thank you, I'll have the same.
(DOCTOR CLEARING THROAT) Uh, better make that orange juice for the children, Brewster.
-Bob, same again? -Thank you, Charles.
LORD CRANLEIGH: And a Tom Collins.
DOCTOR: Well, it's very charming of you to make us so welcome.
ANN: Not at all, Doctor.
-Thank you.
-LORD CRANLEIGH: Thank you.
Shall we? -Are you really from Esher? -I don't even know where Esher is.
TEGAN: How beautiful.
The black orchid.
Yes, it is beautiful.
It was found on the Orinoco by my eldest son, George.
Of course.
I thought I recognised the name.
George Cranleigh, the botanist, the explorer.
But the Brazilian forests took their toll.
He never returned from his last expedition two years ago.
I'm sorry.
Ann was engaged to him.
But I'm delighted to say that we're still going to have her in the family.
If Charles marries the right girl.
Nyssa doesn't even know where Esher is.
Which shows great taste.
I'm sorry, Nyssa.
Our curiosity has been vulgar enough.
It's high time we all change.
Yes, well, I'm ready for a bath.
So, if the ladies will excuse us, I'll show you to your room, Doctor.
Oh, bring your drink.
You, too, old boy.
Well, I must flatter myself.
Call that an admirable choice.
It certainly is.
What are you going to wear? Now, that's better left as a surprise, I think.
Now then, I better attend to that young man.
-What was his name again? -Adric.
-Scandinavian? -Uh, not quite.
He's Alzarian.
I never could remember all those funny Baltic bits.
Geography was never my strong point.
My brother stole all the thunder there.
Positive Odin.
-Till later, then.
-Yes.
-You know the dances of this period? -Well, I know the Charleston.
I learnt it for a play when I was at school.
-How's it performed? -I'll show you.
-Is that dancing? -Well, it's not bad.
No, it's just that on Traken, our dancing is much more formalised.
-And far more complex.
-You dance? It's part of my training.
And although I say it myself, I'm considered quite good.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Come in.
My dears, I've had an absolutely ripping idea.
Oh, how lovely! That's lovely.
My dear, I'm so glad you think so.
Look.
There, with the head dress.
Nobody, but nobody, will be able to tell us apart.
-Isn't that topping? -Quitetopping.
Just as long as I don't show this.
-A mole? -Yes.
You haven't got one, have you? -No.
-Good.
(WATER RUNNING) (DOCTOR SINGING) (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) DOCTOR: Hello? Who's that? (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) Splendid.
I rather think this will be fun.
-I think you have to ask me to dance.
-Why? Because that's what everybody else is doing.
-What, all those people? -Not me, you idiot, each other.
Come on, ask me.
-I don't think I could do it.
-Yes, you can.
Just follow me.
Come on.
I hope Lord Cranleigh's dancing with the right girl.
-It's a little naughty, really.
-Well, I think it's a great hoot.
-A great what? -Hoot.
Hoot.
Oh, yes.
There is one way of not getting you mixed up.
-What's that? -By having every dance with you.
Foiled again.
You're the host.
(BOTH CHUCKLING) Why do I always let my curiosity get the better of me? (MUSIC STOPS) -Nyssa? -Guess.
-Ann? -Guess.
(LORD CRANLEIGH CHUCKLING) I might've known they were up to something.
-Now no one can tell them apart.
-I can.
-How? -That's a secret.
-Where's the Doctor? -Don't know.
-What's he wearing? -I don't know that either.
You should ask Lady Cranleigh to dance.
Well, look, I'm not really very good at it.
Anyway, I'd much rather eat.
Why didn't I leave after the cricket? You have to excuse me for a moment.
Latoni, what are you doing here? Get back to your quarters at once.
-My friend has escaped.
-What? He hit me from behind and escaped.
-Where was Digby? -Digby has gone.
-Where? -I don't know.
I have not seen him today.
Come with me.
At last.
(LOCK CLICKS) Wherever this is.
You deserve a better dancer than me, my dear.
I must find you someone your own age.
-But you're a beaut dancer, Sir Robert.
-Beaut? That I think is a great hoot.
(MUSIC CHANGES) -Charleston! -What? Whoa! Marvellous! Absolutely excellent! Oh, excuse me.
Enjoying yourselfNyssa? -Nyssa? Are you sure, Adric? -Yes.
-You can't do that.
-Can't I? (MUSIC STOPS) (LOCK CLICKS) Hello? Hello? Hello? Portuguese.
Well, one of these must get me out of here.
That was great fun.
Shall we go back to the terrace? I'm afraid we must return to the others.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Who are you? Let me go.
Please let me go! Stop it! Let me go, whoever you are! Help! Help! (SNARLING)